#hopefully i'll be able to come on shortly after this is posted!!
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My Kingdom, Your Kingdom | six
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Pairing: secret king!Steve Rogers x heir apparent!female Reader
Summary: The search for clothing continues. With it, the discovery of more personal things comes.
Warnings: slight mention of parental loss
Wordcount: 4.4k
If you enjoyed reading this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging. I don’t allow for my content to be copied, translated, or reposted on other websites/apps. Please don’t steal my work.
A/N: The dividers are made by @/firefly-graphics. As you might have noticed (again) this chapter took a long time to be posted. University is still to blame for this. I started working on my thesis but hopefully I'll be able to get back to posting a new chapter every 2-ish weeks!
Taglist: open, in the reblogs, let me know if you want to be added
“Hey Steve, do you have a clue where exactly those clothes are supposed to be? So we got a place to start looking?” Sam’s voice carried out of the room.
"Yeah, punk. We’ll be occupied for the rest of the week if not.” Bucky complained shortly after. It was no surprise he did, she understood as she followed Steve - at last - into the room.
For a storage room, it was big. And for its proportions, it was well used. The walls were stacked with shelves and drawers that stretched from bottom to ceiling. Every available wall space that wasn’t stacked with furniture had either frames hung on the wall or propped against it.
Even the middle of the room was filled with more clustered space. More shelves to divide the room into smaller sections. She could barely see the other end of the room, the only hint of its end was the soft light coming in from the outside.
There were gaps between the books and other items stacked in the compartments. Through one such crack she spied the blonde hair of her youngest sister as Yelena stood before the middle shelf and eyed what looked to be a toy car carved out of wood.
“There should be a couple of chests or an old cabinet,” Steve drew out slowly and contemplatively as he looked through the room. She had the distinct feeling that he was still overwhelmed. If not from the room itself anymore then from the sheer vastness of it.
“How come all of this is here?” Yelena wanted to know, peeking behind the shelf with furrowed brows. “I thought you rented this place.”
That caused the men – or rather Sam and Bucky – to laugh. She couldn’t share this amusement and neither could Natasha, as the two sisters shared a look. Back was the uncomfortable twisting in her gut.
“The cabin belongs to my family,” Steve spoke over the quieting laughter of his friends, “the clothes are leftovers from our frequent stays in the past.”
“How can you afford to keep a place like this over the years? Does the crown pay you that well as simple guards?” Natasha’s question had a certain bite to it. If any of them had been offended by the degradation of their jobs, they didn’t show it.
No, instead they took it with humor. Bucky snorted, a pleased and somewhat prideful smirk adorning his lips.
“We are not simple guards. We are the guards.”
Sam nodded in agreement, a twinning grin on his lips. “We are part of the royal guard. The bodyguards of the king.”
“Sam.” Steve’s warning, disapproving tone was directed only at his friends while his eyes were focused entirely elsewhere. Her. The hitch of her breath must have been loud enough for the blond beside her to hear.
It had been a bad enough revelation that they’d been guards in the king's palace in Brooklyn’s capital. This was so much worse. Once more the dreaded feeling returned to the pit of her stomach. She’d lead her sisters directly into the lion's den without meaning to do so.
“Even so,” Yelena crossed her arms before her chest, nose raised challengingly. She didn’t seem too impressed with the new revelation. Her and Natasha had always been good at masking their surprise. And while Yelena lacked the talent at hiding her pure and childlike excitement, every other emotion she could hide just as well as Natasha behind an unimpressed exterior. “So long as you aren’t the king's best friend I don’t believe your pay to be good enough to be able to afford this place.”
“You are right. But a nobleman rarely needs to worry about money. Right, Steve?” Bucky glanced at his blonde friend and she wanted to close her eyes and be swallowed by the waters of the great lake.
She’d thought too soon. It had gotten even worse.
Too much. It was all too much.
“Just shut up for a minute, would you? You are making it worse.” Steve’s bark sounded closer than he had been before. It wasn’t his voice that pulled her out of her spiraling thoughts eventually, it was his hands on her shoulders. Something about the contact between him and her felt so soothing and grounding. Looking up she found him directly in front of her, his eyes already intensely looking at her.
“You gotta stop worryin’.”
His voice was soft and had an unlike drawl to it that she hadn’t heard before. The quip of his lip suggested amusement, maybe teasing but the softness in his eyes told her he wanted to calm her. “I’ll tell you as many times as you need to believe: You guys are safe with us. Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise. And there is nothing that will change this either. Ok?”
“Yeah,” she mumbled, pushing his hands away from her in a moment of defense. She kept acting like a spooked goose, honking and running in circles. Time to stop acting like a scared little girl and return back to the soon-to-be ruler of an entire nation. She couldn’t act so foolish. She was a princess. A future queen. Time to act like it.
“I just didn’t expect you to dump that kind of revelation on us. Again.”
“It’s like us saying we are related to the widovian throne.” Natasha stayed entirely unbothered by her glare for that comment.
“That’d be a shocker,” Sam claimed with a snort. Yeah, wouldn’t it?
“Because it’s impossible,” Steve acclaimed, looking at them with exasperation. If he just knew. “Can we get back to concentrating on the task at hand?”
She could only agree, she wanted to focus on the simple task. One that wouldn’t set her off with more worry and uncertainty about their entire entanglement. Sighing she combed her fingers through her hair, rubbing over her scalp. “Are there any more things you’d like to tell us before I get another shock?”
Steve looked at her apologetically. The shake of his head was all she needed to drop her shoulders and nod. Alright. She could handle it if they didn’t jump another thing onto them. Like one of them being the King's brother.
“I do have some more questions,” Natasha quipped cooly. She was leaning with her shoulder against the middle shelf and looking at the three men with scrutiny.
“Guess we can answer a couple while we look for the clothes.”
“It’s only fair since we grilled you yesterday. Your turn now,” Sam also agreed, grinning relaxedly.
“So, where do we start?” Yelena wanted to know, running her fingers over the spine of a couple of books.
“There.” Bucky pointed into a corner left to them, where a couple of chests stood. They didn’t look particularly special, not standing out in any way but the brunette seemed confident in his choice. After all, he knew this place. Maybe he remembered some of the places the clothes had been stored in.
A big cloud of dust took to the air after the thick layer was disrupted by Sam and Bucky. Each of them had taken to one side of the big chest, scooting the huge wooden construct forward before they’d lifted the heavy lid up.
The price for it was the beige, gray shimmer in the air, the result of the many particles of dust going everywhere. The two men had been enveloped in it nearly instantly but the rest of them weren’t spared either. Quickly the dust raced to tickle everyone’s noses. It didn’t take long for the sneezes and coughs to erupt.
Natasha – surprisingly – was the fastest to recover from the powdery onslaught and while they still waved their hands in front of their faces or squinted their watering eyes, she leaned with her shoulder against the nearest shelf, looking at the chest.
“So all three of you are noble brats?” Her lips were pulled into a sly and teasing grin. Sam huffed more in surprise than in offense.
“These two–” he nodded towards Steve and Bucky, “–yeah. I’m a simple fisherman’s son from one of the coastal towns.”
The protests coming from said ‘noble brats’ went unheeded by Natasha and Sam. Instead, the redhead continued, undeterred.
“How does a simple fisherman’s son end up as one of the king's bodyguards?”
“Met ‘em in the military.”
“Him? Personally?” She blurted surprised, beating Natasha to the word.
“Yeah we, uhm, we all served in the same unit.” Steve butted in stepping beside her, arms loosely crossed in front of his chest. He glanced over at Sam. The two of them shared a brief and entirely silent conversation before he continued, “He found friends in us, thought us to be loyal. And when our service came to an end he wanted to have his most trusted friends close to him and so he offered us the jobs.”
She watched their lips twitch up into smiles. There was warmth and pride in their smiles but also in the way they held themselves.
Natasha, content with the answer and the provided information jumped to the next topic. This time her eyes turned towards the third in their bunch. The brunette was hunched over the chest, one arm bracing himself on the edge of the chest, while his other hand dug around its contents.
“How do you know widovian?”
Bucky’s head snapped up. He smirked at Natasha, a playful glint shining in his eyes. The redhead wasn’t as amused and neither was she. No, she was very curious to listen to his explanation. There weren’t many people outside of Widovia – and Sokovia – who could speak their national language. Not anymore.
With the complete closure of their borders and their retreat into solitude the lands around them had ceased to show interest in their culture. It was hard for her to imagine that people outside would have still learned to pick up the language.
Why then, did a man born and raised in their enemy country, with no apparent descent from their home, possess the ability to speak their mother tongue?
“I figured you’d want to know that,” Bucky told them relaxed and confident. He didn’t feel called out, nor scrutinized and he certainly didn’t see anything wrong with it either. Leaning against the chest his eyes jumped from Natasha to Yelena to her. All three were now closely paying attention to him.
“That doesn’t answer the question.” Yelena frowned, raising her eyebrow in return as she waited, rather impatiently, for him to give his answer. A proper one.
The way he shrugged his shoulders so nonchalantly had her clench her jaw. She knew he wasn’t meaning to offend them but to them it was a matter of offense and pride, and in a smaller part also about safety. Their people inside the borders were only safe as long as those borders stayed impenetrable. Every way that something could slip out could be a way for something – or someone – to slip in too.
“There was an old man,” he started, “who I met after I joined the army. He’d lived in Widovia for many years as an emissary prior to the conflict. Just before Widovia closed its borders he returned home. He taught me.
A little only.”
“Yeah, we can tell. Your pronunciation is shit.” Yelena’s dryness never ceased to amaze. Steve and Sam started laughing while Bucky winced, scratching at his chin in embarrassment. Even her lips quipped up in amusement at the unforgiving words.
“Holy shit is something wrong with you?” There was no heartbeat wasted by her sister as the blonde looked at her suspiciously. At least Yelena had the heart to look concerned and not disgusted.
“Why?”
“Where is the stern ‘Yelena’?” She should be mad at the way her sister imitated her scolding voice. “Where is the disapproving look for mocking someone? Your usual lecture?”
“Well, you are right. He sounds bad.”
“Like a tyro.” Natasha agreed with another smirk on her lips.
While Bucky clasped his hand to his chest, looking at the three of them in mocking hurt, acting as if they just ripped out his heart, Steve furrowed his brow and asked “What’s a–what was that word you said?”
“A tyro?” She asked the adorably confused-looking blonde.
“Yeah, that,” he nodded. She could see he wanted to try to pronounce it, the desire, the way the world lay on the tip of his tongue. Yet he refrained from trying, not wanting to make a complete fool out of himself.
“It’s a somewhat mocking, playful term for a beginner. A rookie you would call it?”
“Whatever it means, please just keep calling him that. Especially with that delectable accent of yours. I didn’t know widovian could sound so good and seductive.”
The glare Bucky sent toward Sam was murderous. Surprising – and something she herself didn’t notice but Natasha very well did – was Steve’s lesser but still pronounced glare towards Sam for the flirtatious remark.
“How about less bickering and more looking?” Yelena quipped, pointing towards the chest Bucky leaned against. In his hand, he held something out of fabric. Had he found something already?
When the brunette held it up however it was nothing any of them would be able to wear. The shirt clearly had belonged to either one of them as small boys. Now it looked comically small in the buff man’s hands.
“No luck.”
So they turned towards the next chest to find something in there. While Sam and Bucky cleared the space and freed the chest from everything that had been stacked on top of it, nothing remained to do for the rest of them.
To pass the time waiting she found herself looking around the room. It felt like a treasury. Every book, every little trinket that littered the spaces of the shelves, felt to her like a magnificent find. Each one told a story about the past, about the time Steve spent here, about the other people that used to reside in this place. Not only was it a glimpse into those people’s lives and their beings but also into another culture. Another glimpse at Brooklyn, so personal and intimate.
Her roaming eyes caught the glimpse of a wardrobe through a gap in the shelf. It looked big, reaching over the top of the shelf towards the ceiling. Something about it pulled her in. It had caught her curiosity.
Slowly she slipped from the preoccupied group. Walking through the opposite aisle between the shelves, she reached the opposite side of the room.
There, before her stood the massive wooden wardrobe in its entire glory. The intricately carved details on its doors held her in awe, the round brass knobs were just as beautifully decorated with swirls and other patterns. It looked magical. Like a wardrobe out of fairytales, ones that held magical clothes and items and ones that held secret passageways to another world beyond their grasp and understanding.
The wood felt smooth and luxurious under her fingers. There was a keyhole out of brass but no key anywhere in sight. Please don’t be locked.
“You found another place to look through?” For once Steve didn’t startle her. She glanced back as he stepped up, looking at the wardrobe before her. He eyed it from top to bottom, ending on her fingers about to follow the outline of the keyhole. “Think it’s open?”
“I hope so.” Letting her hand drop, she took a step back until she was at level with him.
“Listen, I’m sorry,” Steve sighed, rubbing his neck as he looked at her in apology. “I didn’t want to scare you…didn’t want those idiots to dump all of that on you guys.”
There was a smile splitting its way across her lips as Steve mumbled beside her. It was sweet. “It’s not your fault,” she told him, stopping him in his ramblings.
“Well, I should have told you in the first place.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. There was no reason for any of you to bring this up unprompted and there was no way for you to know whether I would react…well like that.”
Steve looked at her softly, his eyes searching and when they found what they were looking for, he softly but quietly asked, “Why did you react like that?”
Parting her lips she couldn’t come up with any words to answer him, so she closed her mouth again. Her lips pressed together tightly as she thought about it. Why? The answer was fairly simple yet she felt so troubled to pronounce it.
“It’s my fault if something happens to them,” she told him after a long, contemplative silence. Glancing behind her, through the cracks in the shelves, she spied her sisters. “I can’t let anything happen to them.”
Steve followed her gaze, turning his head back to watch the group of four unlikely individuals. These girls were peculiar. Mystery clouded around them like thick wads of smoke. They were peculiar but also special.
Something told him she was particularly special. Something in the way she held herself, something about the almost unbound curiosity mixed with a distinctive hesitancy she displayed. She was an enigma and it made him all the more curious.
Steve couldn’t deny the strong pull he felt toward this beautiful, mysterious woman. He couldn’t keep away, he couldn’t help seek her out. All he wanted to do was be by her side and look at her. He wanted to make her smile. He wanted to be the one to show her the world. To show her his world. The one that was so familiar to him yet so foreign and strange to her.
“Nothing will happen to you, I promise,” he told her and with a more serious note he added, “I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
Her eyes softened at his words, the worry in them dissipated. It was replaced by a touch of sadness so heavy that it made Steve’s heart painfully constrict. He wanted to reach out and cradle her in his arms, to wipe the sadness from her beautiful face. The urge to protect them grew only stronger.
She couldn’t know, she had to believe him to be a silly man with wishful thinking and promises too big to keep. That whatever safety he promised wouldn’t be enough. They’d obviously gone through a lot if she was this hesitant and anticipating danger around every corner. If she only knew what kind of might he held and what he was willing to sacrifice after knowing her for less than two days.
“Shall we try to open it?” She cleared her throat and averted her eyes in favor of gazing back at the wardrobe. A feeling of defeat settled in Steve’s stomach, the ugly sensation churned and growled deeply as he fought to suppress it.
With a nod, he stepped toward the massive wooden structure. Cool felt the brass knob under his skin, the raised embossments pressed into his palm. With a gnarly squeak, the door gave away, easily following his hand as he pulled the door open.
A small gust of dust followed. This time however Steve was clever enough to avert his face and spare himself a sneezing fit. When he peered into the belly of the furniture a smile raised on his lips.
“You seem to be very good at finding things.” He stepped to the side, making space for her to peer into the closet beside him. Inside was a multitude of different clothing items both hung and folded.
“I was already afraid of having to try to squeeze into some of your childhood clothes,” she mumbled with a triumphant smile. Steve snorted, he glanced toward the floor to conceal how big of a smile she brought to his face.
“You surely would have looked fabulous in dinosaur print.”
“Dinosaur print?” She curiously raised an eyebrow. Steve in return blushed and smiled bashfully at her.
“I was obsessed with Dinosaurs, the stars, and the ocean.”
“I’d love to see the ocean at some point,” she mumbled, “Your capital lies on the coast, right?” With a hum Steve nodded. “How is it? Growing up so close to the sea I mean?”
“The view is beautiful, something entirely different to the mountains.
In the summer the salty breeze travels into the city, and the winds help keep the city cool. There are rivers making their way through parts of the city and people have built small boats to ride through the canals. When the sun hits the waves the water glistens like gems.
Oh, and the caves along the beaches. Bucky and I used to explore them as children. We imagined them to house all kinds of magic: a sleeping dragon, the buried treasure of a pirate crew, all such things.
Buck also taught me to sail a boat. We’d sneak out of our beds after bedtime and climb out of our windows, down to the marina where we’d hijack his father’s boat.”
Her breath hitched as she watched him talk about his home. There was a tranquil look on Steve’s face, one of content and fond memories.
“Did you ever get caught?” She whispered. It was almost pitiful to disturb this peaceful look on Steve’s face. Almost, weren’t it for the happy glint in his eyes and smile at her indulgence.
“Many times. We got into so much trouble but we didn’t care about it. We would do it again after every scolding.” It sounded like he had had a fun childhood.
For a moment it made her sad, thinking how it would have been had her parents been around longer. Would her sisters and her have had a childhood like that? Would they have been able to be innocent children?
She didn’t want to focus on these thoughts and Steve turned out to be a great help in preventing her from thinking more such depressing things. He continued to tell her about the shenanigans he and Bucky had been up to in their childhood as they gradually shifted their focus on pulling out some of the clothes.
Happily Steve told her everything that came to his mind, at least until she interrupted his babbling with a deep frown on her face, “I’m not a puppet.”
“Yes,” he answered her, confidently and nearly automatically. Steve was ready to continue his story, the delayed meaning of her words setting in stopped him abruptly. Confusion transformed his features as he stopped his motions and turned to her,
“No…
What?”
“Why would you call me a puppet?” She frowned up at him, her feathers clearly ruffled as she huffed, although he couldn’t understand how that had happened.
“I…didn’t.”
“You called me ‘Doll’,” she stated and it clicked. Warmth flooded Steve and his cheeks began to burn.
“That’s not the same,” he mumbled, yet it was clear this did not explain the situation to her. Instead, Steve found himself opposite of her accusingly raised eyebrow. The same unamused look he had witnessed her giving her younger sister. Steve gulped, not enjoying being on the receiving end of that look one bit.
“That’s, um…” With a sigh, he bashfully glanced to the floor and rubbed at his neck. He was in trouble.
Huge Trouble. How could he explain it to her without revealing he had just called her a pet name by accident? A term usually reserved for lovers? Yet it had just slipped out as he had addressed her.
“Doll is a term of endearment that men call their female friends. It’s a non-specific name.”
She looked at him doubtfully, a wary glint in her eyes as she looked at him with pursed lips. It didn’t sound quite right to her, he could see it in her expression and it terrified Steve. Desperately and frantically he wracked his brain to find another explanation. One with which he wouldn’t dig himself an even deeper hole. Perhaps a straight-up apology would be best suited. He had to be honest with her and hope she wouldn’t find any insult from it. But before Steve could open his mouth again, she shook her head and mumbled,
“Some of your traditions are weird. Why would it be endearing to call someone a puppet? That's not nice.” There was a remaining hint of disgruntlement in her voice, one that brought out the natural drawl of her widovian. It was a mighty wrong moment to feel like that but the sound of her accent made Steve’s heart flutter.
He couldn’t help but huff out a laugh. He adored her view, and couldn't help but find her reaction to it anything but cute.
Their hunt for clothing in the end turned out to be successful, albeit long. It had taken them the better part of a couple of hours to locate enough items that would be suitable both indoors and outdoors in the freezing, wintery cold.
Sam, Bucky, Yelena, and Natasha had tackled the chests on one side of the room while Steve and she had been isolated on the opposite side of the room. Only when both parties had met at the door to the hallway had her sisters and Steve’s friends even noticed their absence.
Now the girls were on their way out of the room, trailed by the men. Sam and Steve carried the piles of musty and dusty clothing – they’d unanimously decided to chuck all of it into the washer first.
Bucky eyed the clothes in Steve’s arms suspiciously, stopping in the doorframe, he blocked both Steve and Sam from leaving the room.
“What?” Steve asked, noticing Bucky’s eyes on the clothes in his hands.
“Those are some of your mother’s clothes,” Buck noted and Steve fell silent.
There was a pause before he answered slowly, “Yes.”
The statement didn’t seem enough for Bucky, however, who raised an eyebrow once more. “They’ll fit and suit her well.”
Sam and Bucky didn’t need to ask who ‘her’ was in this case.
Without saying anything else Steve pushed past Bucky and left the room. It was now Sam’s turn to glance at Bucky, alternating between looking at him and toward where Steve had just stood.
“You wanna tell me what that was?”
“Steve hasn’t touched any of his mother’s things since she passed away.”
Sam shrugged his shoulders, so he had gotten over it. What was there to it that Bucky made a big deal out of it?
“He didn’t allow anyone to touch them. All of Sarah’s belongings were stashed away. He couldn’t bear looking at them and being painfully reminded of his mother not even a week ago.”
#steve rogers x reader#my kingdom your kingdom#steve rogers x female reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers x you#steve rogers fanfiction#king!steve x heir apparent!reader#modern royalty au#royalty au#christmas au
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hi!! i really hope i don’t stress you out AT ALL with this (i know you have a lot of fics and new ones coming out) but i was just wondering if your older matt fics have been discontinued? i know you are still actively working on ATY and FFTD so i am truly just curious as to whether or not to look out for new updates on any others! i love your work and i hope you have an amazing day!!
Hi friend! You're not stressing me out at all! Thank you for the question!
Are you meaning the Matt Murdock x OFC fics I have? If so, those are not discontinued, they're just on a very long hiatus 😅 And there's more chapters for both than what I have posted on tumblr at the moment. Caught in the Undertow was about finished when I sort of hit a really difficult situation that made it hard for me to continue that story (it's the only long fic I have that's a bit close to home for me) and Life Worth Living has two chapters written that I need to edit, but honestly that one is SO in depth with little hints and details hidden in there that I need to sort of reread some of that story myself to be able to properly edit and share those other chapters and to continue working on it. Which I keep meaning to do, but I'll be honest, I go where the obvious interest is for fics. When y'all get excited about updates, I get excited to keep working on that fic. That's probably true for most if not all writers. So if it feels like the interest is on other things (usually Reader fics and not OCs), then that's what I'll be working on. Without the feedback I just assume y'all just aren't as interested so I focus my time elsewhere unfortunately.
As for Keep Coming Back to You, I, ironically enough, keep intending to come back to it 🤣 The next chapter for that was almost written but I started ATY shortly after and that one got way more interest so I focused my attention on that series. The feedback truly does let me know what y'all want to read--though sometimes I'm just feeling a particular story and can't stop writing it 😅
Hopefully that answered your question! I always intend to come back to those others, LWL and KCBTY for sure. Especially KCBTY when I hit the angst because I'm craving angst lately 🤣But I'm so glad you enjoy my writing so much!! Honestly, I've been in my head about my writing this week and reading that definitely gave me the warm fuzzies, so thank you! And I hope you have an amazing day as well! ❤
#Bella answers#i do really focus on what y'all respond to#its the only way i know what y'all are interested in#LWL#CITU#KCBTY#y'all are not forgotten...just...not being written😅
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All I want! Jared X Reader (Jensen X Reader)
Summary: After the sudden death of your husband, his best friend helps you through the grief.
Warnings: Death of a major character, suicidal thoughts, depression.
A/N: I'm sorry I haven't written anything in a while, my life has been hectic recently, but hopefully I'll be posting more often now things have calmed down.
My Masterlist
If you ever want a request my inbox is always open. I will try and get any done as soon as possible. Always looking for more inspiration, hopefully you guys can help.
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You were sat at your desk, flicking through your emails when your phone rang. You happily picked it up since your husband usually called you after he finished filming a scene
You had met your husband, Jared after being a guest star it one of the episodes for his show Supernatural. You two had immediately hit it off and he had asked you out. You had been dating from two years even whilst you lived in the uk and he was filming in Vancouver, when he asked you to marry him.
He made it extremely romantic and not long after you found out you were pregnant with your first child. You moved out to the states to live with him. That was when you met Jensen, his best friend and co-star in Supernatural. Little did you know how much he would help you in the coming months.
After your first child was born Jared, regrettably, went back to work with Jensen. He didn't want to leave you so soon after giving birth but both you and Jensen assured him that everything would be okay, and that you had Jensen's wife Daneel to help you if you needed it.
He made sure to call you whenever he wasn't filming just to check in on you and your son, Ash. It became a habit and he calls you every day just to check in whilst he's away.
You found out you were pregnant again shortly after the boys started filming season 10. Jared was so happy, and all the crew threw him a party to celebrate.
It was that night that you got the call you were never hoping to receive. Your phone rang at 2 in the morning waking you and your sleeping toddler.
Answering it, you didn't even look at the caller ID.
You didn't recognise the voice on the other end. Then your heart dropped, "I'm afraid to say your husband has been in a road traffic collision."
"Is he okay?" You question.
There is silence on the other end before they say "I'm very sorry for your loss Mrs Padalecki."
Your phone drops from your hand and you let out a few quiet no's.
You start to shake and sob uncontrollably.
You hear footsteps coming up the stairs before Daneel rushes in, engulfing you in a hug and letting you scream and cry on her shoulder.
The sound of your toddler screaming breaks through, and you reach for him. You pull him onto your lap and cry into his long hair. He is an exact copy of Jared.
You look up at Daneel, and her heart breaks for you, "it's gonna be okay." She says giving both of you a hug.
"He's gone." You whisper, Dani, barely able to hear you.
The next few days were blurry, everything happened so quickly.
You all flew out to vancouver, Jensen met you all at the airport. As soon as he saw you he hugged you tight. You broke down again.
"It's gonna be okay." He mumbled into your hair.
Your hand immediately went to your stomach where your unborn baby girl was certainly very active.
You had the funeral back in Texas, and Jensen didn't want to leave you on your own, so they invited you to stay at theirs. You could stomach staying in your own home. Everything of his was still there.
You found you really struggled with day to day things, even seeing your son shattered your heart. He looked so much like Jared, your heart couldn't take it.
One night, it got too much. You found your self in the bathroom surrounded by pills. You didn't want to do it but your heart couldn't take it anymore.
You sent a quick text to Jensen, 'Im sorry'
A few seconds later your phone rang. You answered put it on speaker and laid it down on the floor.
"Y/N, are you there? What's with the text? Are you okay?"
You burst into tears, and you hear rustling and voices on the other end of the phone.
"It's okay stay on the phone with me, me and Dani are coming round. Where are you sweetheart?"
You manage to croak out "Bathroom, upstairs."
You hear the door unlock, all of a sudden glad they had a spare key to your room. The bathroom door opens and what Jensen sees breaks his heart.
He crouches down and pulls you into a hig whilst Dani gets rid of the pills.
He pulls away, his hands still on your shoulders, and looks you in the eyes.
"I need you to be honest with me, have you taken any?" He asks as his thumb rubs your arms softly.
You start to cry again and shake your head no.
He lets out a breath, glad you hadn't done anything.
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A few months later, you're finally doing better. It still hurts, and it always will. But Jen and Dani have done so much to make it easier for you. You've started therapy, and you're on medication for your depression. They were even there when you went into labour with your baby girl.
You decide to name your daughter Elouise Ross Padalecki after Jensen.
Years down the line you're finally in a better place and you visit his grave every week. Telling your children stories of their father. Jensen and Misha love to tell them all the goofy things he used to do on set.
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I saw a post on instagram and idk what to make of it. From the sound of things it seems like the OG Obey Me! game isn’t gonna get any more chapters? that Nightbringer is gonna replace it since its ‘better and improved’??
My ask for you Nerdy-sama — what is your take on this info? do you think its true?
I assume you're talking about this post, dear anon?
So, here's my theory :
I know I'm probably just grasping at straws and likely living on false hope... But!
Maybe the devs are going to focus on Nightbringer temporarily to give both old and new fans more background on the brother's post-war/pre-RAD days. Obviously they want to do this anyway to give us insight and info from their past that we are/might be missing out on.
And since we will most likely be witnessing all of the brothers' pain, regrets, and struggles as they are freshly thrust into the Devildom... I assume the devs intend to use that scenario to help us better understand the brother's origins which will ultimately (hypothetically) help us feel much closer to them.
Then, once MC re-forms their bonds with the brothers and basically works their way up to returning to the "present" again, I'm genuinely hoping the devs will then start updating the original Obey Me! game more. In the meantime, maybe the devs will just keep putting past events into Lonely Devil for everyone to get caught up?
Regardless of if I'm completely wrong or at least somewhat on the right track... I REALLY hope they don't neglect the og Obey Me! or worse : abandon it altogether.
I've been playing Obey Me! since the beginning and I seriously don't want to say goodbye to the game I've grown so attached to and love so much.
I know the devs haven't announced lesson 81 or any new news for the og Obey Me! yet... But it still says "coming soon" when you try to advance. So until they officially confirm what they plan to do with the original game, I'll keep holding onto hope for an eventual continuance.
Side thoughts :
Wouldn't it be super interesting if Diavolo's true reason for opening up RAD and wanting to bring demons, angels, and humans together is all because of MC?
I mean... I highly doubt MC is going to be able to deceive Diavolo, a demon who could immediately tell if someone is lying, or even Barbatos, a demon who could see into the future.
So what if they see right through MC's ruse yet allow them to continue helping the brothers purely out of curiosity? Barbatos will know MC isn't up to anything devious, while Diavolo is intrigued to see how this human-in-disguise handles themselves amongst powerful demons who are trying to cope in their new world while also learning how to control their sins.
Maybe MC will be responsible for influencing Diavolo in such a positive way once he realizes that if you remove/ignore race (since the brothers won't realize MC is a human, therefore putting them on basically equal footing), that everyone could co-exist peacefully with one another.
I'm also super curious to see how Satan will be since I assume he'll be born shortly before MC arrives, and even Belphie since he'll be in his prime "I hate humans" phase.
They're just some random thoughts that popped into my head, so I thought I'd share lol
Either way, I'm sure we'll play the role of family therapist once again. But hopefully all of the new info/knowledge we'll be obtaining will become extremely relevant for possible new chapters in the og Obey Me! after everything is said and done.
Who knows... Maybe Michael will finally make an appearance. Or even better : maybe MC will actually have an opportunity to stay in the Devildom with the brothers and/or marry them/officially become their family (in the og). After all, won't MC rightfully belong with the brothers permanently once they know everything about them from beginning to end, both good and bad, inside and out?
Personally, I would love if MC could become immortal like Solomon so then they really could stay with everyone forever. Especially since Thirteen is now on MC's side, so I highly doubt she would have any objections to missing out on MC's soul lol
But again... Just some random thoughts ^^
#thanks for the ask anon!#nerdy replies#nerdy responds#obey me#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#nerdy thoughts#anon <3#nerdy rambles
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Raised Separately
Master Post, Chapter Two
CHAPTER THREE: SOLO MISSION
"What do you mean, Father?" Leo's voice rang through Draxum's room. "Why can't I go?"
"Softie is too reliant on you. He must learn to kill without you around. Hence, you will be fighting for Auntie while Softie goes on a mission to eliminate some human threats."
"I've never fought without defending him! Please, Father, don't make us do this!"
"That is why we are doing this. Get ready for your night at the arena. Hopefully, it'll be one of your lasts. I finally am able to move back into my lab, so we will no longer be in need of Big Mama's aid. I'll be able to focus on training you two even more."
Donnie sat silently on the floor, fiddling with his three-fingered hands. He didn't want to go out without Leo. What if he got seen by some humans and got hurt or something and Leo wasn't there. He didn't want to be without Leo.
The twins never spent any time apart for more than an hour or two. This was terrifying.
"Go get ready!" Draxum snapped at Leo, who scurried out of the room. "Softie! Your assignment is in my desk, get."
Donnie stood up and calmly grabbed his assignment then left the room. He opened the file and read through it. The two documents came with pictures of the assignments.
His mission was to either eliminate these humans or mutate them. He was equipped with two mosquitos that held Draxum's ooze for mutation inside ("oozequitos," as Leo quietly called them to Donnie) that were kept safely in a small jar.
The two humans he was going to be taking care of were Carol and Kirby O'Neil. A lovely couple who lived in New York City. Carol posed a big threat to Draxum and his studies with her scientific endeavors (Donnie was secretly a huge fan of hers). Kirby was being targeted because he was her husband, meaning she probably told him stuff.
The file said nothing about their personal lives, only what they did and how they could threaten his Father. Donnie didn't need to know what they did in their free time or if they had any friends. All he needed to know was what they looked like and where they lived.
He grabbed the goggles that his Auntie had embedded a cloaking crystal inside and put them on. Purple haze covered his body for a brief minute before his appearance changed to match one of a human's. His green skin darkened into a dark brown and his mismatched eyes changed from red and purple to a caramel orange. Thick, black hair in braids fell onto his shoulders.
The elevator dinged and he exited it into the human half of the hotel. He inputted the address to the O'Neil's and walked there. Hopefully, he'd arrive shortly after the couple returned home and not before. Then he wouldn't have to wait around or cause any more problems than he needed to for Father.
When Donnie arrived at the O'Neil residence, he knocked on the door. A young girl, perhaps a little older than he, opened the door.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Is this the home of Carol O'Neil?"
"Yeah. That's my mom! She and my dad hit some traffic, why?"
"I'm a huge fan of hers and I recently moved nearby. I overheard some people saying that she lived in this building."
The girl smiled. "I'm April, what's your name?"
"D-Donnie, but most people call me Softie." Donnie had been completely and unprepared for that question. Most people didn't even bother asking for the name that Father had given him, in fact, most people ignored him.
"Do you want to come in? I have some friends over, but as long as you don't say nothing about how they look, everything will be fine."
Donnie blinked slowly then nodded. "Okay."
"Follow me!"
April led Donnie to the living room, where Mikey and Raph were. Jupiter Jim had been paused while April went to answer the door.
"Boys! This is Donnie. Donnie, this is Mikey and Raph!"
Chapter Four
#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt au#rottmnt leo#rottmnt angst#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#raised separately
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November 14th, 2022 Problem Solving GDES with Ryan Shriver
Sprint recap
This sprint recap the team focused on the construction on the box. We received more responses from the poster left at the bus stops however 10 of those posters were removed shortly after we have posted them. We went to lowes and art plaza to collect supplies to start construction. We decided on a main color , chartreuse , for the box and sanded , primed , and later spray painted the box. The team then attended the Problem Solving field trip at Shriver's office. I wasn't able to attend due to still being ill , unfortunately. However, my team relayed the feedback we got to me so it helped me suggest changes to the box and discuss additional ideas needed. I was also informed about another connection we could communicate with to help with our box development. Overall this sprint has heavily been collaborative, with not one person solely working on a specific task. This "all hands on deck" attitude helped us discuss the specifics of the project better as well as effeicentaly come to design conclusions. Everyone has been very responsive during discussions and bringing good ideas for how we should finalize the box.
Next sprint plan
Our next steps is to finish the box by next week so we are able to document the usage of the box to present on our last sprint presentation. This week we are planning to finish construction on the box and to send out the final designs for the type to be printed with the vinyl sticker maker at the go lab. We are also going to attend a 3D printer orientation to help us manufacture dispensers to house our supplies in the box. I might also distribute more poster but I'm worried they will be taken down, again. We also might discuss the idea of creating a zine to use as a way for riders to learn more about why we decided to create the box and additional information about the future of GRTC.
Reflection
Unfortunately, following our last sprint I fell ill with ether a bad cold or the flu so I wasn't able to make progress on the project for over a week. Not having the box finished has caused me some stress as we near out last sprint. Originally, I wanted the box to be finished 2 weeks ago but time complications with the rest of the team prevented us from working on the box. Due to the amount of work needed , it was hard to have individual progress on the box. We continued discussion through our group chat about matters such as the development on the box. We even scheduled a time to attend a 3D printer orientation but the instructor was not there to teach the workshop so we weren't able to get our certification. Physically building something is very demanding and hard to coordinate between 3 other people. I've realized. I honestly just want to put something out already so the community can use it and hopefully have it improve their experience at the bus stop. I'm not losing my steam yet and I'll get pushing forward until we satisfy the project.
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I enjoy writing, I enjoy expressing and sharing my opinion. I've actually tried a few of these in several formats but they keep petering out. But always an itch always follows shortly after, the desire to immerse myself in something and express my feelings on it.
My new idea is music, I'm actually really bad at music appreciation. Trying new music, being able to hear instruments, just expanding my horizons. The idea blossomed when a friend of mine posted the following video:
youtube
I found myself not being able to hear it, the common link. This has happened a lot of times when I hear people talking about music. I figured I'd start an experiment that will either expand my horizons or hopefully at least be enough fun that I will stick with it.
The experiment - I will listen to two albums a week and share my thoughts on them. Sometimes I will theme, sometimes they will be recommendations. I'll try to avoid repeating albums and I think the most important thing - I'm going to try to keep to the positive in all my reviews. This may mean some will be short, but keeping things light and casual may just be what I need to keep things going. So, end of preamble. What will I choose for my first? It has to be a heavy hitter. Michael Jackson's Thriller, or Led Zeppelin's IV? Almost as good...
Color Me Badd - C.M.B
So one thing I was struck by is just how this wasn't at all what I was expecting. I have heard of Color Me Badd before but honestly don't remember any of their radio play. I was expecting much more of a hip-hop influence due to them being largely a 90s band, and when the track starts playing you think that is exactly what you will get. But then the singing starts and you wonder if they accidentally left the smooth slider set to maximum. The energy doesn't match the expectation and you have to overcome the initial whiplash. Once I did though I have to admit I got into it, I don't think this will become part of a regular rotation but I'd be lying if 'Groove My Mind' wasn't an earworm. Also I feel there is a bit of influence here, if I try to imagine a band from a 90s teen sitcom I feel they will sounds a lot like this. Of course those that know more could tell me they were a part of the wave and not the beginning of it, see my mission statement from above. Overall this was fun enough and random enough that I feel it lends to a strong start to this. Hopefully I can talk with you all for a long time to come.
Top Track: All 4 Love
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Hello! I thought I’d make a post for disabled swifties night because I’ve finally had the courage to speak publicly about my disorder again. When I first started tumblr, I was pretty vocal about it and I used my blog as a place to release my feelings and vent when I needed a platform to get words out. Well I got a lot of hate and people telling me I was “faking it” and that made me really upset. I also had people saying “wow you seem so normal” and things along those lines which didn’t rub me the right way either. But since I’ve grown closer to many of you and we’re slowly weeding out these negative people, I’ve decided not to hide it anymore. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and yes, I live a pretty normal life. Anyways I’m going to stop before i get completely long winded. I hope you still give me the chance to get to know me for me, not for my disorder.
Also huge shoutout to @swiftiesofcolor and everyone behind that blog who put together this selfie night & the other nights and everyone who supports us and gives people like me the courage to speak out 💞
#I understand if you have questions#but please go about it with reapect#dont tell me I’m crazy or that I’m looking for attention#why do you think I kept this information off my blog for so long?#please don’t make me regret posting this#i also didn’t like to talk about this for awhile because I don’t want you to feel weird about it#people usually act like they have to walk on egg shells around me when I tell them and I hate that#I’m whatever normal means to you#wow posting pictures of myself (rare) and talking about my disorder??#a big night for me#(:#swiftdisabledselfies#scheduled#hopefully i'll be able to come on shortly after this is posted!!#these aren't even selfies but WHATEVERRR#i don't take good enough selfies lmaoooo
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Care to share the John struggling with sexuality findings… feel as if it would nice to learn
Wow this is a HUGE question. I'll try to gather some evidence (I was actually doing a Notion doc on this as a sideproject lmao but it's nowhere near finished)
This is definitely not a complete list (and most of this will be old news to people who've been on here for a while), but it's quite extensive and hopefully helpful to someone who's just starting to research this, I'd say. Also feel free to come back and ask, if you have more specific questions about this once you read this!
Also, when I was almost finished with this post, tumblr froze on me and I hadn't saved the post as a draft and the text couldn't be copy-pasted anymore. I freaked out since this took me hours, but was able to salvage the raw, unformatted, paragraphless text by getting it from the page inspection thingy (pro-tip!). So, I had to reformat everything and add the sources back in (but least the sources on the frozen page were still clickable so I didn't have to go hunting for them again, just had to recopy the links over).
Point is, there might be mistakes in here because of that :(
April 1963 Trip to Barcelona with Brian Epstein:
(here's some background info on the trip if you're not in the know.)
• Pete Shotton, John's childhood friend's account of a conversation with John shortly after the trip (from the book John Lennon: In My Life)
I visited John at Aunt Mimi’s a few days after his return to England. And when he started in about how much he had enjoyed Spain, I could hardly resist taking the piss out of him. “So you had a good time with Brian, then?” I smirked. Nudge nudge, wink wink.
I was somewhat taken aback when John didn’t so much as crack a smile. “Oh, fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “Not you as well, Pete!”
“What do you mean, not me as well?”
“They’re all fucking going on about it.”
“It’s OK, John. Don’t take it so serious. I’m just joking, for Christ’s sake.”
“Actually Pete,” he said softly, “Something did happen with him one night.”
Now that wiped the grin right off my face. Had I even dreamed there might be any truth whatsoever to the rumors, I would never have made light of the subject in the first place. Still – as John surely knew – I would have stood by him, and let the rest of the world handle the business of passing moral judgement, even if he had just told me he’d committed murder. And John would surely have done the same for me.
Which, after all, is what true friendship is all about.
“What happened,” John explained, “is that Eppy just kept on and on at me. Until one night I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: ‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Brian, just stick it up me fucking arse then.’
“And he said to me, ‘Actually, John, I don’t do that kind of thing. That’s not what I like to do.’
“‘Well,’ I said, ‘what is it you like to do, then?’
“And he said, ‘I’d really just like to touch you, John.’
“And so I let him toss me off.”
And that was that. End of story.
“That’s all, John” I said. “Well, so what? What’s the big fucking deal, then?”
“Yeah, so fucking what! The poor bastard. He’s having a fucking hard enough time anyway.” This was in reference to the “butch” dockers who, on several recent occasions, had rewarded Brian’s advances by beating him to a bloody pulp.
“So what harm did it do, then, Pete, for fuck’s sake?” John asked rhetorically. “No harm at all. The poor fucking bastard, he can’t help the way he is.”
Comment: Pretty eyebrow-raising to offer yourself up like that if you don't on some level desire it, but at the same time this plus John's violent reaction to Bob Wooler insinuating something happened weeks later to me indicates he was not feeling very secure and normal about what had happened.
• John himself on the trip (from his 1980 Playboy interview)
I went on holiday to Spain with Brian... which started all the rumors that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But we did have a pretty intense relationship. And it was my first experience with someone I knew was a homosexual. He admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cyn was pregnant and we left her with the baby and went to Spain. Lots of funny stories, you know. We used to sit in cafs and Brian would look at all the boys and I would ask, 'Do you like that one? Do you like this one?' It was just the combination of our closeness and the trip that started the rumors.
Comment: "Never consummated" might be consistent with Pete's account if to John "consummation" entailed some form of penetration. It's left to the imagination what John might've meant by "almost a love affair". Also, his interest in how Brian experiences his own sexual orientation is of note, regardless of the extent to which something between him and Brian happened, I'd say.
• John on the trip (from his 1970 Lennon Remembers interview)
Q: Let me ask you about something else that was in the Hunter Davies book. At one point it said you and Brian Epstein went off to Spain.
A: Yes. We didn’t have an affair though. Fuck knows what was said. I was pretty close to Brian. If somebody is going to manage me, I want to know them inside out.
Comment: This is kind of weird to me, because Brian had been signed on as his manager for over a year by April 1963. John wanting to "know him" seems a bit late by this point. He might not be lying though and just genuinely have confused some memories.
• John on attacking Bob Wooler at Paul's 21st birthday party (Interview with Andy Peebles, 1980. I can't for the life of me find a full transcript of this but here's a post transcribing this bit and the audio is on Youtube, I haven't double-checked the transcription though)
The Beatles’ first national coverage was me beating up Bob Wooler at Paul’s 21st party because he intimated I was homosexual. I must have had a fear that maybe I was homosexual to attack him like that and it’s very complicated reasoning. But I was very drunk and I hit him and I could have really killed somebody then. And that scared me…
Comment: John is directly expressing that he once doubted his own sexuality. Obviously, this does also slightly read like a denial, in that his use of "must have had a fear" sounds, grammatically, like that fear was perhaps unfounded.
At the same time, can you blame him for backing out of admitting to this, if that's what's going on? I also sort of personally doubt he ever got to a point in his life where he was actually fully comfortable with his attraction to men, and even went through phases where he actively repressed/denied it.
• John on attacking Bob (1971 interview with Peter McCabe & Robert D. Schonfeld)
I remember it, vaguely. I was out of me mind with drink – when you get down to the point where you drink all the empty glasses, that drunk. And he was saying, “Well, come on, John, tell us,” something like that, “Tell me about you and Brian, we all know,” like that. And obviously, I must have been un– uh, f– frightened of the fag in me to get so angry at that. You know, when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man, and all that.
Comment: The same as above, essentially
John and Paul (+ Yoko's suspicions):
• John on his expectations from a romantic/creative partner (1972 Interview with Sandra Shevey)
It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?
Comment: Even in a quote technically denying being attracted to men he seems to express a wish for having such a relationship. The last statement kind of feels like at least some part of him wants to hold hands with the men he's worked with.
• John (+ Yoko), when asked about how people perceive his relationship with Yoko, bringing up Paul (Interview with David Scheff 1980; this didn't get printed by Playboy)
JOHN: Well, that’s rubbish, you know. Because nobody controls me. I’m uncontrollable. The only one that can control me is me, and that’s just barely possible. [Yoko laughs] But that’s what life is about. And that’s the lesson I’m learning. Because – nobody ever said anything about Paul having a spell over me, when I was with him for a long time. Or me having a spell over Paul. They didn’t think that was abnormal, two guys together.
YOKO: They might have. [laughs]
JOHN: Or four guys together. In those days? Why didn’t anybody ever say, “How come those guys don’t split up? I mean, what’s going on backstage? I mean, what is that Paul and John business? Why – you know, how can they be together so long?”
Comment: John clearly sees a parallel between JohnandPaul and JohnandYoko (where few saw it) and uses it to demonstrate a hypocrisy he perceives. However, when claiming no one found his and Paul's relationship oddly close, Yoko calls this into question; she appears to disagree with John's assessment that what he and Paul had was "normal". Also, John correcting from it being about two people to about four, only for him to return right back to just him and Paul is of note to me.
• John, on how he feels about his relationship and partnership with Yoko (December 1970, Rolling Stone)
It’s just handy to fuck your best friend. That’s what it is. And once I resolved the fact that it was a woman as well, it’s all right. We go through the trauma of life and death every day so it’s not so much of a worry about what sex we are anymore.
Comment: Just pretty interesting, considering how often he compared Yoko directly to Paul and made allusions to replacing him with her. Also, his comment on having to resolve the fact she was a woman is odd (but he very well might be talking about the role of a "best friend" and deconstructing some type of misogyny that stopped him from opening up to women). John generally had an interesting perspective on the roles of being a friend, a sexual partner, a creative partner and how those intersect.
• John to Paul reflecting on the songs they've been writing for the Get Back sessions (Get Back sessions, January 24th, here's the audio, I don't have a link to the video. It's in episode 2 or 3 of Get Back though)
PAUL: It’s like, uh, “We have to get back.” “We’re on our way home.”
JOHN: Yeah.
PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing—
JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.
PAUL: [reserved] Yeah. [pause]
JOHN: We’ll just have to camp it up for those two.
PAUL: Yeah. Well, I’ll be wearing my skirt for the show, anyway.
Comment: Paul not flatout laughing at the comment kind of makes it seem like the vibe John was giving off here wasn't a joke (Paul knowing him well, would probably have a better feel for this than we do). But I will say that Paul during this period generally seems to have had trouble reading John and his emotions.
• Yoko on John and Paul (from the book John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman, which Yoko later revoked her endorsement from)
From chance remarks he had made, she [Yoko] gathered there had even been a moment when—on the principle that bohemians should try everything—he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul’s immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John’s Princess. She had also once heard a rehearsal tape with John’s voice calling out “Paul … Paul …” in a strangely subservient, pleading way. “I knew there was something going on there,” she remembers. “From his point of view, not from Paul’s. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn’t help wondering what it was really about.”
Comment: I've already talked about how problematic and ambiguous this passage is but the basic gist of it is quite clear: Yoko felt justified in suspecting John had sexual feelings for Paul. She had reason to believe she wasn't the only one suspecting this.
Misc. other things John (allegedly) said on this topic:
• Yoko on her and John discussing the terms of an open marriage in 1973 (John Lennon: The Life)
There was even some discussion, albeit not very serious, of whether he should stick to his own gender. “John said ‘It would hurt you like crazy if I made it with a girl. With a guy, maybe you wouldn’t be hurt, because that’s not competition. But I can’t make it with a guy because I love women too much, and I’d have to fall in love with the guy and I don’t think I can.’”
Comment: It's odd of John to suggest going out with a man if he doesn't actually want to, isn't it? We're also missing any hint of how Yoko reacted to the suggestion so this passage is eyebrow-raising to say the least. Especially given that Yoko appears to have had suspicions about John and Paul. It's not unreasonable to assume he backed out the moment Yoko showed some resistance towards the idea.
• John mixing up pronouns when reflecting on his partnership with Yoko (1971 Peter McCabe/Robert D. Schonfeld)
And it was like finding gold or something. To find somebody that you can go and get pissed with, and have exactly the same relationship as any mate in Liverpool you’d ever had, but also you could go to bed with him, and – it could stroke your head when you felt tired, or sick, or depressed. It could also be Mother. And obviously, that’s what the male-female – you know, you could take those roles with each other. And if the intellect’s there, [and] you know, compatible, well it’s just like – we’re in the pools.
Comment: I don't usually like to put too much weight on misspeaking because I think it happens without much reason most of the time. However, John saying "him" and then switching to "it", and not bothering to explicitly correct himself is interesting. He also barely falters, doesn't laugh about the mistake. It doesn't appear to be a normal instance of misspeaking to me because of this.
• John talking about what he aspired to be as a teen (I'm not actually sure what interview this clip originates from but it appears to be from 1975)
I was thinking, if only I could get out of Liverpool, be famous and rich, that would be great. I’ve always wanted to be a famous artist, you know? Possibly I’d have to marry a very rich old lady… or man, you know… to… to look after me while I did my art. But then Rock & Roll came and I thought ‘Ah, this is the one’, so I didn’t have to marry anybody or live with them, you know?
Comment: John openly suggesting he wanted to marry a man at some point.
• John in an interview during the "Lost Weekend" on all the press coverage his split from Yoko was getting at the time. (December 1975 interview with Lisa Robinson)
Yes, all your best friends let you know what's going on. I was trying to put it 'round that I was gay, you know– I thought that would throw them off... dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys... but it never got off the ground.
Comment: Here, he is openly admitting to wanting people to think he is gay. It does seem to be quite a jokey tone though. Still, not the most common joke for straight people to make.
• John, interviewing himself, bringing up bisexuality (Andy Warhol's magazine, 1974)
Q. I’m sorry. Just a few more questions MR. LENNON, I’m sure you understand I have a deadline… my editor… etc..
A. Alright then, GET ON WITH IT!
Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?
A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.
Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually 'keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…
A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..
Q. It seems like you’re saving quite a lot for when you’re 40..
Comment: Honestly, the awareness of bisexuality currently being trendy and bringing it up is extremely interesting to me, as someone who has accused myself of faking my own sexuality for attention. It makes it seem like this is not something he took lightly, even if he is joking about it here.
There's also something on Tony Manero who openly claimed John came onto him multiple times and called him bisexual but I've heard that people have had trouble confirming he's a real person I think (?), so I didn't include it. You can read his account here though.
As I've said, this list isn't comprehensive, there's a few more anecdotes that I've either seen people mention but haven't come across the original source yet or stuff other people see as compelling evidence that I don't agree is relevant. Also, of course, I might have forgotten some things.
Here's some other places you can check out, off the top of my head:
My John speculation tag
My John-Paul speculation tag
My John-Brian tag
@thecoleopterawithana's "I'm not a homosexual" tag
@amoralto's oh john and awkward best friend talk placeholder tags
#90% of my followers like: fiona we know all this shit why did you kill yourself making an encyclopedia of Water Is Wet john lennon factoids#making this traumatized me#i WILL be copying this back into my notion doc lmao#i saved this as a draft like five times after getting burned so hard#i was almost sobbing and my mum was like “What's wrong?” and how was i supposed to tell her my john lennon wasnt straight essay was perhaps#lost to cyberspace#ask#anon#mine#john#ref#john speculation#my analysis#straight up FORGOT to add hunter davies and that other guy whose name escapes me saying john TOLD THEM he had a thing with brian
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*posts fixed version here too*
#faye#fire emblem#fire emblem echoes#miu draws#i fixed this shortly after i posted the first one here bc i wanted to use this shaded ver as a comm sample#but i only posted it to twitter#i was gonna post this along with this other faye drawing i was working on but like#idk when or if im ever gonna finish it#bc i can't draw much atm bc of school so#so i'll just post this now since i haven't been super active much sorry lol#hopefully when summer break starts i'll be able to draw more#tho idk i have a lot of games i need to play too *sweats*#she still hasn't come home yet tho and im sad T_____T#takumi too *cries*#me @ fe:h: let takumi and faye come home to me u cowards >:(#stop giving me every other colorless units that i already have ughhh
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SGE x PJO AU: wiki pages
PART I: Hester
Okay, so hm, before we start.
Warning: some minor cursing, as well as spoilers for all percy jackson and the olympians, heroes of olympus and school for good and evil books. Basic knowledge of the main plot points is heavily recommended.
Now that that’s out of the way, an unnecessary note:
I was unsure on how to structure this au, as I was originally going through the events of the novels book by book, but turns out that made the posts way too long (longer than they already are) and more like a mini-fic than an au post, so, for now, we’re sticking to a character-based wiki-like structure, one at a time.
This is obviously an au, so while we'll follow loosely the events of the riordan-verse, there's many tweaks, so it's easier to follow if you're familiar with the canon material but hopefully, I'll be able to answer any questions y'all might have.
I just might do mini-fic posts or write a one-shot or two, but that takes a while so maybe tell me if you’d be interested in that, because as usual, I am fueled by validation.
This is so goddamn self-indulgent.
Hester Ravenswood
Daughter of Nemesis
Occupation: Head counselor of cabin 19 / High school student.
Early years: Used to live with her father, until he tragically died in a mysterious factory fire when she was 10.
It is unknown how Hester got to camp, aside from the vague explanation she gives to Sophie and Agatha: she ran away from an orphanage and her mother guided her to Camp Half-Blood using dreams. She arrived at camp in the same night as Chaddick Edwards, and witnessed his death at Half-Blood Hill.
Camp years: Hester used to be a year-round camper at cabin 11. Since Nemesis didn’t have an actual cabin at the time, Hester was placed there, as per camp tradition, and while she often flaunted her parentage, she never got officially claimed.
Within her first year, Hester dueled an older, unnamed demigod for a bunk bed at cabin 11. She wins the duel, but ends up with a bad reputation as a “shady back-stabber” around camp, due to her use of a hidden knife to win. The bottom bed of said bunk used to be always empty, despite Hermes’ cabin being very crowded, until Agatha’s arrival a few years later.
Hester is the third member of the quest to retrieve Zeus’ lighting bolt, alongside newcomers Agatha and Sophie.
The following summer, she runs away from camp with Sophie Martin to help on the quest for the golden fleece.
Later that year, she participates in the mission to retrieve Yara and Willam Thomas from Westover Hall.
During the quest to rescue Artemis, Hester is absent due to being given another quest by oracle/camp director August Sader: scouting the labyrinth.
Next summer she leads the quest to find Daedalus, but after the incident in Hephaestus’ forges, she chooses to remain at camp to prepare for Kronos’ invasion, as well as aiding Dot Nottingham with Anadil Bloodbrook’s recovery after her time wandering by herself in the labyrinth.
A year later, Hester and Agatha blow up the Princess Andromeda cruise together, and she is heavily involved in the events leading to and during the Battle of Manhattan. Hester and Anadil are responsible for convincing a few minor gods, including Hester’s mother, to betray Kronos and help the campers fight off his army once Kronos cuts off connection between himself (alongside Sophie, Agatha and Yara) and his army to get to Olympus.
Post-war, she attends school alongside Dot Nottingham. It’s unknown what she plans to do after graduating, though it’s implied she might have to retake the year, as she often skipped classes to look for Agatha with Sophie. In one of those missions, Nemesis guides Hester to rescue Nicola Saylor, bringing her to Camp Half-Blood.
Currently: Hester is one of the seven demigods of the prophecy, and is abord the Argo II, headed towards Camp Jupiter.
Connections:
Dot Nottingham
While Hester mostly kept to herself during her first years at Camp Half-Blood, she has a secret soft spot for Dot, as she once overheard the girl standing up for her against Beatrix Jolie.
She is the one that teaches Dot how to use a dagger.
Every year, Dot offerers to house Hester for the school year, and every year she refuses, until after the Battle of Manhattan, when she accepts the invitation.
Agatha Schwartz
Hester and Agatha become friends shortly after her arrival, alongside Sophie, at Camp Half-Blood, when Hester claims to be impressed by Agatha’s confrontation with Aric Lesso, which seemed to freak every other camper out.
Through the years, Hester develops a not-so-one-sided crush on her, leading to a, rather messy, undefined romantic relationship between them after Hester kissed Agatha at Mount Saint Helens, but the two decide they are better off as friends after the Battle of Manhattan.
Hester is greatly distraught by Agatha’s disappearance after the war and feels horribly guilty for ignoring Agatha’s attempts to contact her prior to it due to remaining pettiness post-break-up.
Sophie Martin
Off to a bad start upon meeting, the two become tentative friends during the quest to retrieve the lightning bolt, and they even manage to join forces to aid Agatha, Hort Scourie and Aric Lesso on their quest for the golden fleece.
However, Hester quickly grows suspicious that Sophie might be a spy for Rafal at camp. Once she hears that this accusation was proven true, during the quest to rescue Artemis, it causes an irreversible shift in their mostly playful previous dynamic, even though Sophie changes sides again after Rafal betrays her trust at Mount Tamalpais. The peak of their animosity is at their duel after “Agatha’s funeral”, in which Hester nearly strangles Sophie with her whip while blinded by grief, only stopping due to interference from Agatha herself.
Thankfully, things seem to have smoothed over between them after Sophie stabs, and sucessfully kills, Rafal in the Gods’ Throne Room, "ending” the Battle of Manhattan by keeping Kronos from destroying Olympus.
Sophie and Hester grow closer during Agatha’s disappearance, often meeting up for search missions whenever one of them believes to have a lead on their friend’s whereabouts.
Anadil Bloodbrook
Hester first meets Anadil during her first mission an the labyrinth, in which she manages to convince Anadil to help her escape Kronos’ forces, but isn’t able to take her along, feeling horrible guilt, believing Anadil to have been killed.
Once she learns that Anadil managed to escape and is actually alive, having been wandering through the maze on her own for months, Hester vows to save her, stepping down and handing over the quest for Daedalus to Agatha.
Hester manages to find Anadil, whose mind appears fragmented after so long in the labyrinth, and begs Dot to help her find a solution. The daughter of Dionysus eventually does, combining her mild influence over madness with Reena Shazabah’s healing talents as a daughter of Apollo.
Anadil and Hester keep in touch often after that, becoming very close friends and formulating a plan to secretly recruit minor gods and their children back to the olympian side.
The two of them start dating officially a few weeks after the end of the war and are currently still together.
Nemesis
Hester is contacted by her mother more often than most demigods, probably due to Nemesis status as a minor goddess. Nemesis offers to help Hester on occasion, but Hester always stresses that her mother is anything but kind; no help from her ever comes free of charge.
August Sader
Despite making a few jokes about the oracle’s host being past his prime, Hester shows a deep respect for the camp director, even if she doesn’t always agree with his tatics.
Reena Shazabah
Hester’s active dislike for Beatrix during her first few summers at camp lead to her passive dislike of all of the daughter of Aphrodite’s friends and flings, including Reena, but they eventually become friends and, after Reena aids Dot in healing Anadil’s mind, the two of them can often be spotted training together at the arena.
Rafal
While they were in the same cabin and Rafal was one of the few campers that didn’t avoid her, Hester tells Agatha she does not trust him.
Once Rafal reveals himself as Kronos’ son, offering Hester a spot in his army, due to her being a child of a minor goddess, she tells him to “get fucked” and stabs him in the arm with her dagger, establishing their dynamic for the rest of the war.
Nicola Saylor
Hester is initially resentful of Nicola, for her presence reminded Hester of her own failure to find Agatha, but once the roman girl reveals that Agatha was most likely stuck at Camp Jupiter without her memories, Hester starts acting less hostile towards her.
Yara Thomas
Hester is part of the rescue party that retrieves Yara and her brother Willan.
At first the two seemed to get along, but after Yara joins the Hunters their friendship sours, as Hester has a very strong disdain for the group.
However, they start talking again during the Battle of Manhattan and grow closer once Yara offers to try and track down Agatha once she goes missing.
The current status of their friendship is unknown, as Hester will probably be livid once she finds out Yara met amnesiac!Agatha at Camp Jupiter months prior to Nicola’s arrival at Camp Half-Blood.
Hort Scourie
She doesn’t really care much for Hort at all before he is revealed to be one of the seven, but tolerates his presence on occasion, though Hester does state that kicking his ass on the arena is one of her favorite hobbies.
Weapons and Powers: Hester is very skilled with daggers and knifes, though her weapon of choice is usually a whip given to her by her mother on a deal they made when Hester first found out she was a demigod. Whatever Hester had to give her mother to keep her end of the bargain is currently unknown.
The whip is shown to have a mind of its own, moving in fast snake-like motions that Sophie describes as “demonic”, glowing red when “awake”, but its use is rather dangerous for long periods of time, as it draws energy directly from Hester’s life force.
Hester has some sort of control over chance, being able to strike deals to tip the scales of balance in her favor, allowing her to succeed in unlikely situations, but more often than not, the price for doing so is way too high, being a last resort for her.
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Update
Hi !
So im back (hopefully).
First off I wanna say thank you for keeping on reading even if I was on break. It was something I really needed especially since school was a pain. Like I said when I last posted, if I remember correctly, I said I would only be able to post once or twice a week and that still stands.
Hopefully I'll be able to pull out 2 or 3 fics this week though! Its almost New Years so I want to at least leave you off with a few fics before 2020 ends :]
Now, I want to establish some stuff. The requests which were sent before, I will sadly not be writing. Anything that was requested has been scrapped.
One of the reasons I needed that break was because I got burnt out, I lost motivation. And while on break I finally noticed why, it was because I was making myself write too much.
So I decided im just going to scrap those requests and I won't be writing them, to the people that requested im so sorry. But I want to just write my own work with my own imagination for now, no help.
So for now requests will be closed, when I reopen them I will let you guys know!
On a better note, I will be taking out and putting ither things in for what I write for! So hopefully that will be updated soon :D
I think that was all but If I need to say anything else ill just update you guys later.
Nagito angst coming shortly after I post this update !
Quackity photo for u guys at the top :p
- luvr
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Oooh LMMS is really cool!! I hope you dabble around with it and come up with something you like. I can compose stuff on the piano, because they're sometimes required for my theory and practical exams :D but everything I've ever composed is just bland, I don't particularly loooove it or anything. Or even if I do like it, I can never seem to come up with words to go along, so it's just instrumental music HAHA.
Nooo I'm melting, you're really so sweet. Let's get married rn 😼 I hereby pronounce you mine😔😣🤚 Oof yes, history is indeed just about a bunch of dead people, but if it were in the forms of animes or musicals, they can get pretty interesting :) I guess you just have to think of it as a story (albeit a boring one, sometimes)
oh dear he's almost as bad at as I am. I used to only be able to sleep after 3 lol. But since you gave me that tip on how to reschedule my sleeping times I've been sleeping better.
may the battle commence, I think I'll stick with Arisu 😣🤚 good luck y'all— tho yes omg :( poor Karube and Chota I almost cried when I realised the true goal of the game, for the sheep to hide from the wolf out of love 😔😔💖
The feels?? I'm so dead 😭 that's so cute, tho I don't wanna see you angry :P tho in my opinion, people get like, 10 times hotter when they're mad 😃🔫
oh I see!! That's totally understandable, I know a lot of people who are the exact same. I don't really mind people seeing me when I message someone, as long as they don't read what I'm saying. But I type pretty fast so I don't think it's possible anyways HAHA.
Awww yes <3 If I ever miss something, it's just because I couldn't remember to reply to it, but I try my best to remember everything :))
they're so good omg :> I'm gonna listen to that too!! I fell asleep shortly after listening to it last night, and you're right, it has the sorta effect on people. I love classical music so much, (especially piano pieces) but this is just as good!!
How's your day going btw?? :') I love you toooooo, thank you for your replies <3
Ahh, really sorry for late response! I had to run some errands, forgive me^^"
I hope so too!! I fiddled around and found some cool stuff, hopefully I'll learn wonders soon.
Ahhh, I see. I mean, music can never be bland. Lyrics maybe, but not music, so don't say that. Every simple melody has something special:)
Great. We are now married 👰🤵 JSJDNEJFJJS
True true, I guess if it was visual, it would be easier to understand XD but to be honest, the formalities are too difficult with my focus range.
Heheheh, I'm glad it helps you :D I'm sure you'll get it fixed soon^^
Yes I was literally balling my eyes out. It was almost painful, especially trying to silence it all with a pillow, like ... really should've gone to sleep instead of watching "one more episode". I really havent thought about the "hiding out of love" before seeing that one tumblr post, but it really broke my heart when i realised that. It made so much sense, and it made me cry AGAIN and I'm impressed cuz no show was able to make me cry so easily XD
True, some are very hot, but some look like
Which is the funniest thing ever. No offence to the men in pics, but like ... what got you so mad😭😭😭😭
Me too!! I type pretty fast as well, but mostly I rely on the autocorrect because when I dont use it the sentences look like "sjjrjakd kwkdka skdkkqkskdkkwj??!?!" and yeah
Yessss I'm glad you like them!! They're really cool. I also like classic music!! I'm not really educated on that, because mostly it's just canned "piano music" so I have no idea who made that and etc XD still lovely though.
My day was great!! I had some nice borscht (you know, the red soup?) today and I had like a 3 hour long walk. My eyelashes were like 🧊 because of the mask, but it was awesome either way. And then I had to do some stuff~~ but it was good:)
I hope yours went well, too! I love you a lot!!!<33
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