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#hopefully it's clear which is which
birdricks · 4 months
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the final phrase of my last sentence / hangs in the air, sounding stupider and stupider
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sesamenom · 6 months
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the "what-to-do-about-the-ring" chapters, but from the perspective of elronds oath-related trauma
all text from Fellowship of the Ring (council of elrond + the ring goes south), except the snippets of the Oath, which i believe is from the Shibboleth of Feanor
inspired by this post
#silm#silmarillion#lotr#lord of the rings#fellowship#lotr fellowship#comics#elrond#glorfindel#gandalf#boromir#gimli#ill tag everyone with a speaking role i guess#the only thing here i own is the art#hopefully its clear when the person talking switches based on the speech bubble colors#hm im not super happy with some pages but i think the last two turned out really well#btw the greyscale panels are past/future/hypothetical while the color panels are present#so while i was figuring out how to trim a full chapter and then some into a six page comic i realized i cut out the entirety of aragorn#which i guess makes sense since hes obviously more aware of elrond's no oaths policy?#but kind of funny#also i cut saruman to focus on the four parallels theme#fun symbolic details:#i used that one shade of dark red to represent the Oath#in the first panel elrond and erestor (the feanorian kids (i hc erestor is caranthirs son)) are the only ones wearing red#but its also not either of their main colors bc they grew up w the oath but were never actually bound by it#the leaves are redder across the elwing half panel too#on the second page it shows up again in mae's hair and across the silmaril-related half panels#on the third page its in mae's lava; the bodies in menegroth; diors blood; and the figure stabbing him#but also in the belt of the hypothetical ringlord-elrond in a darker shade than it does in normal-elrond#and a ton in the last panel - all the feanorions are either wearing red or have red hair
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sysig · 7 months
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Can you please draw Edgar and Johnny stargazing or something like that
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Day 8 - Stargazing
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thecrenellations · 5 months
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At first, I was just going to include their four big arguments, but I’m curious about how the other scenes and conflicts compare…
Vote however you like! For your favorite, or the one that would win in a meta-fight somehow, or the most disastrous, or the most Them…
more context for options:
Hume - does Lymond setting Will up to get himself arrested at Hume and swooping in as Don Luis count as a fight? Will gets beaten up, for sure, by the English and then hit in the face by his rescuer. It’s a conflict, even if it’s a one-sided and planned one. It’s an iconic moment in literature!
Lymond picks a fight about Will’s shoddy morals, and Will gets mad at him about Christian! And then Lymond gives him George Douglas’s letter about the hostage exchange. And tucks him into bed. I have thoughts about this scene!
Will secretly meets up with his father and walks into Richard and Janet’s trap. Johnnie gets him out but immediately tells Lymond what happened, and wow they have an argument. Incredible quotes about intentions and warm niches and quince seeds in cups of lukewarm water therein.
Will Scott wants to go to bed in his own bed! The door is locked! There’s a sword. There’s a fight. There’s a chance to take over …. And you will Never guess who wins!
Yes, he’s also mad about his dad being in danger. Lymond and Gideon run into an indignant Scott on the way back from Herriot. Gnatlike mockery and acrobatics ensue. “Get down!” “Make me?” … Brief but hilarious and fascinating to spectators. But there’s so little trust between them after all this, and what’s next is ….
… Betrayal! Pain! Symbolism! He hid the gold in the convent! Andrew Hunter has so much nerve! Turkey Mat is about to die! The narration gives us the final “marigold” of the book! Homoerotic wrestling!
“There is nothing very jolly about being locked in a cellar with a man whom, in every possible sense, you have just stabbed in the back.” THERE IS FOR ME!
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estrellami-1 · 3 months
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I want to try something… tagging my permanent taglist plus a few others who I think might be interested, but let me know if not.
This heavily relies on participation, so if that’s not your thing, no worries! But I’m hoping it doesn’t have to be all on one person.
Essentially, someone sends me an ask with a (vague) prompt. I write as much as I’m inspired to, post it (probably with a title), and someone else (or same person, idc) sends me an ask with the name of the fic and the next thing you want to happen. Please let me know if this doesn’t make sense, I think I’m still jet lagged, but hopefully someone wants to do this!!
It’s important to note that I will develop a specific tag for the fic, and I will not be tagging anyone, so if you want to follow along, please subscribe to that specific tag. I’ll let y’all know what it is in the first part. I’ll also post it to my Masterlist.
@justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @mischivarien @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @muricel-rambles @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42 @finntheehumaneater @hbyrde36 @steddieas-shegoes
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tumblasha · 10 months
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europe is so interesting. they treat me like a cute kid, backpacking across europe at age 21. the next second they ask me why i'm responsible for gun violence in the united states.
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episodeoftv · 6 months
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EDIT: ending this early bc I’m impatient. Here’s the tiebreaker poll!
If we do Most Episode s2‚ I’ll allow episodes to be resubmitted‚ except for the top 8-16, which will join the new bracket later. It will be a smaller bracket‚ definitely no more than 128‚ but probably capped off at 64.
Also this is just deciding which bracket to do first‚ I anticipate doing some of the runners-up later. (If this poll doesn’t have a clear sweep I’ll do a second poll with the top 2/3)
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definitelynotshouting · 11 months
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Will it take the hermits staying with Grian a while to figure out what exactly his deal is, even after he wakes up? Surely, if he went to all the trouble of evading them and then waiting to die, he wouldnt just immediately give them answers right? Especially not if he was already trying to hide it to begin with well before they found out the life games were his doing.
This fic is in it for the long haul, so yeah!! Communication is not just going to Happen right away, and when it does, it's going to be very piecemeal, with different things said to different people. Once we get past the hurdle of Grian's second attempt, communication will start to very slowly get a bit more honest and open, but its gonna be a LONG process to get there and wont be linear in its progression. There are a few things i have in mind for this, especially for when Grian gets back to Hermitcraft, but yeah, its gonna take a while for everything to really come out!!!
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mokeonn · 5 months
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I think the frustrating thing about Spotify recommendations is sometimes it really does introduce me to lots of cool Indie Bands that I really vibe with and allow me to try some new stuff and sometimes it keeps telling me that I need to Listen to Mother Mother (I have not listened to Mother Mother ever and at this point I never will because it is a pride thing.)
Or a random unfunny tiktok joke song from 3 years ago/ a viral YouTube song from over a decade ago.
#simon says#will probably delete this later#but yeah my recommendations are all mother mother and my spotify weekly is a mix between sweet ass new bands and unfunny bad joke songs#my spotify weekly has Cherry Bomb by the Runaways which is a good recommendation and then the Creative Song from don't hug me im scared#which is a bad recommendation to be clear#i know I have a couple of odd songs from things like shows or cartoon bumpers in my playlist (i got whats new scooby doo on there)#but that doesn't mean that I need to be recommended fuckin Death By Glamour??#like there's no videogame soundtracks in my playlist why the fuck is that there#If I wanna listen to Undertale music I would just listen to the vinyls I own!!#anyways this is just a vent against spotify#my weekly seems to have a LOT more indie stuff so imma check it out real fast#i want to discover more music because I do eventually want to just swap to mp3s and an mp3 player instead of spotify#that is one thing I like about Spotify the most is that it helps me find more bands that I like#but I could probably find stuff via looking up youtube playlists as well#so it's not worth paying for anymore#I asked for an mp3 player for Christmas so hopefully I get one and I can just start using that instead#i miss my mp3 these last 7 years without it have sucked I miss my designated music device#anyways dont have to worry about going ad free if you just have the digital files on your computer and put them directly in a player#😎👍
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puretopia · 1 year
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🌹
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captainschaos · 1 month
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I missed yesterday, so catching up with @mcyt-aro-week !!! day 1 - unconventional relationships / trope subversion
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cledubs qpr you will be famous forever <3<3<3 but admittedly it's a bit of a stretch and not really apparent what the connection to the prompt is, is so I'm gonna explain under the cut ! tldr ancient greek vase painting visual culture, nerd stuff <3 I was in class LOL
so I'm currently studying ancient greek mythology in one of my classes, primarily through the lens of visual culture, which mainly focuses on vase art! learning the conventions of the symbolism and the culture is really interesting (and I might someday do something with showing how mcyt really has created an extremely similar culture, but I digress) and ngl I didn't even mean to do this when I was drawing during lecture LOL. but a lot of the stylistic traits of greek painting crept into this piece, you can kinda see the influence in bdubs' pose, as well as cleo's to a certain extent, and the main connection here is in the fact that cleo's facing forward! this was extremely rare in greek visual culture, and very significant when it did happen. in many instances it's connected to the crossing of boundaries or breaking rules, which was where I felt it could connect to the prompt! but even more specifically for cleo, and why I really leaned into it, is that forward-facing figures are often doing so because they aren't alive <3 it almost paints them as more object than person, but could also certainly be about undeath ! so that's the part that cleo really fits into, refusing to be controlled by anyone, defiant in undeath. and also aromantic, which I DEFINITELY have thoughts about connecting to those two ideas but they're evident enough and this is long already LOLL
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sunsetsandsunshine · 1 year
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~ Ticklish Twins ~
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HIII! SORRY FOR THE DELAY YOU GUYS! I HAD TO CATCH UP ON SOME LATE ASSIGNMENTS- BUT IT’S ALL GOOD NOW!
Ler’s: Donnie🐢💜, Leo🐢💙
Lee’s: Donnie🐢💜, Leo🐢💙
Warnings: None :) 
Summary: Ever since Leo and Donnie were little, they always argued over who was the older twin, which caused lots of fights throughout the years. But now Leo, being the smartest of the two (obviously), has a solution on how they could settle this once and for all…
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“Nardo! Give me back my book!” 
“Oh what? You mean this book?” Leo grinned, examining the book he “stole” from Donnie, who was desperately trying to get it back. It was around evening and the two twins were sitting on the couch in the living room, earlier making a deal with each other that they wouldn’t bother one another unless it was important. Which Leo definitely did not keep. But what did Donnie expect? 
The two were wearing they’re signature sweatshirts, Donnie’s purple while Leo’s was blue. Now, originally, Donnie was going to get back into reading more advanced books, after the Invasion, lots of places were closed including the library. And if you knew Donatello you knew that he absolutely despised novels online. Sure, it makes the book you’re looking for easier to find, but it eliminates the whole purpose of getting a book itself, like actually in your hands. 
So now with stores finally opening up again, Donnie was able to purchase a book! But he didn’t even make it through the first chapter- let alone the first page as Leo swiped it from his hands. 
“Oh, come on, little bro. I was just poking fun!” Leo smiled, giving Donnie back his book that the softshell snatched out of his hands, glaring. Leo relaxed on the couch and pulled out his phone from his pocket; starting to watch YouTube videos on it. “I’m older than you, dipsit.” Donnie said, putting his book to the side and straightening his posture, which he only did when he was going to go really in depth with something…eugh boy.
“Pfft- since when?” Leo asked before Donnie could go into a 39 hour rant on how much he was right and how much Leo was wrong (he’s speaking from experience). “Since always! Were you not listening to Draxum’s 3 hour long summary on how he found us?” Donnie asked. Leo rolled his eyes, putting his phone on the arm of the couch. “Nope!” Leo said, making an exaggerated pop noise at the end of it. 
“Wait! I have an idea!” Leo beamed, clapping his hands together and turning to Donnie completely. “You…have an idea?” Donnie repeated, examining the person in front of him to make sure his twin didn’t get abducted by some aliens or something like that. Because when Leo has ideas, which is rare, they never turn out good- like…ever. 
Donnie sighed, pinching the space between his eyes and nose before looking back up at Leo, face. “Enlighten me, brother.” Leo grinned, tightening his mask on his head, while turning to Donnie fully. 
“Let’s compete! We’ll have a tickle fight on it. Winner is the older twin.” Leo smiled, grinning at the absolute genius idea and grinned only wider as he saw the evident nervousness on his soon-to-be-already-is-younger brothers’ face.
“I am not doing that.” Donnie said, crossing his arms; trying his absolute best not to sound nervous as he did so. Leo’s grin only widened at the softshell’s response, slowly inching closer to Donnie wiggling his fingers. “Aw~! But why? Is it because you're too ticklish for it? Is that it, Dee?” He teased, poking Donnie’s sides causing his purple-loving twin to squirm in his seat. “Is the Great Donatello Von Ryan too ticklish for this~?” Leo said, chuckling when he saw his brother’s cheeks flush a bit. 
“Oho gi- gihive me a break. Everyone knohows that you're the mohohost ticklish out of all of us.” Donnie said, wanting to punch himself in the face for laughing at Leo’s wiggling fingers. Speaking of Leo’s fingers, they were scaringly inching closer and closer to his sides…
“Well you’re gonna have to prove me wrong on that one, Tello!” Leo laughed, practically launching himself onto Donnie as he scattered and scratched along his sides. The softshell put both his hands over his mouth, determined to not laugh at. all. Because, has this tactic worked? Covering his mouth so he doesn’t erupt into laughter? No. No, it hasn’t. But oh well- Donnie was desperate and desperate times called for desperate measures.
“Oho my gOHOD stAhAh- PFFT- STAHA! GeHet OOHOFF!” Donnie cackled, his laughter sounding muffled against his hand as he kicked his feet. “Nope! None of that, you know better, Tickle-Tello!” Leo teased, removing Donnie’s hands from over his mouth as he kneaded his upper thighs.  
“NAHAHA! LEEHEEHEEO! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHERE!” Donnie squealed, hugging his middles and trying to squirm away from his sibling, Leo absolutely beamed at the reaction. “No can do, Don! Just admit it! I’m the older twin!” Leo grinned, now doing a whole spider maneuver with his fingers on Donnie’s neck, which caused his purple loving sibling to crunch up his shoulders and do a high pitched squeal, almost like a 6 year-old girl, or worse…Mikey. 
The sound startled Leo- who drawed his hands back and after a couple seconds descended into small snickers. “Woah, I’ve never heard that noise before~!” Leo laughed, going back to gently tickling Donnie’s neck where he squealed; gleeful at the reaction he just received and wanted more. 
“SHUHUT IHIT. YOHOU HEHEHEARD NOHOHOTHING!” Donnie yelled, pushing at Leo’s arms but the red eared slider did not budge even an inch. Leo went to the extra ticklish spot on Donnie’s neck earning another high pitched squeal from his scientist brother. “Oho, really? That cute little shriek of yours doesn’t sound like ‘nothing’ to me, Don-Don~!” Leo smiled, not only because he was 100% sure he’s got this in the barn but he was also smiling because he was spending some quality tickle time with his favorite twin (his only twin- but still), win-win!
“Just say I’m the older twin and I’ll stop, Tello~!” Leo said, now gently tracing the sides of Donnie’s shell. And if you weren’t in the room at this exact moment, you probably would have thought the soft shell got stabbed- or even killed! Donnie absolutely screamed as Leo started poking and prodding his sensitive softshell. Leo really wanted this “Older Twin” title huh? Going for his shell?! Oh this man is playing straight up fucking dirty. 
“NOHOHO! NOHO *hic* NAHAT THEHE SHEHELL! LEEHEEHEEO PLEHEHEASE!” Donnie cried, trying to kick Leo off of him but the blue banded turtle stayed on Donnie’s waist, making sure the two didn’t fall off of the couch but also making sure to tickle the absolute hell out of Donnie so he can claim the Older Twin title. 
“Awh! There’s a little design of your shell that has a heart! That’s so cute! You don’t mind me taking a closer look at it, do you?” Leo smiled, not even waiting for Donnie to answer as he traced over the heart design on Donnie, as the softshell descended into more squeaky cackles. “NAHAHA! NAHARDO *hic* DOHOHON’T! IHIT’S SOHO *hic* BAHAD THEHERE!” Donnie cried, still trying to squirm away. Now Donnie is really really starting to regret leaving his battle-shell in his room.  
“You’re not even fully fighting back like you normally do, Don. You must reaaaaally like this, huh?” Leo teased, going back to poking different parts of the side of Donnie’s shell. Donnie didn’t respond but just wheezed with laughter as he twisted and turned trying to get Leo off of him. 
“MIHIHICHAEL! RAHAPH! REEHEEHEE! HEHEHEHEHELP!” Donnie yelled, trying to be as loud as he could to get saved or something. Which… probably won’t happen because it’s just him and Leo in the lair as of right now. The others were running errands around the city. Worth a shot…
“Uh uh! This is a fight between you and me, mi hermano~!” Leo smiled, blowing a raspberry on the softshell turtles’ neck while still tickling the sides of his shell. Donnie gasped at the new sudden unexpected sensation at his neck, his laughter starting to sound hiccupy.  Donnie pushed on Leo’s plastron trying to break free from his grasp.
“NAHAHAH! NAHA- *hic* NAHARDO!” Donnie squealed. “Dooonnniiieeee~” Leo teased, mimicking his twins cry, sitting up but now hovering his hands over Donnie’s stomach, wiggling his fingers. 
“Hmm…I feel like TummyTello is feeling a tad bit left out from all this tickling, don’t you?” Leo asked, not to Donnie in particular though, the softshell knew he didn’t really have a say in this matter anymore. But Donnie couldn’t take anymore and completely PANICKED.  
Donnie suddenly kicked Leo in the foot, causing both of the twins to fall off of the couch, but Donnie, being quick on his feet, was able to take the upper hand as he went on top of Leo. He pinned Leo’s arms above his head as he straddled his waist, the slider squirmed under Donnie, not liking how quickly the tables had turned.
“Ahahany lahast words, Nardo?” Donnie smiled, still giggling from the attack from Leo but happy he was able to get the upper hand as of right now. And seeing how quickly his brothers’ cockiness and smugness faded made Donnie feel even more victorious. 
Donnie didn’t waste any time and immediately started kneading Leo’s knees, a well-known death spot for him. Donnie smiled as the slider threw his head back letting out squeaky cackles, snorting every now and again as his legs stomped on the floor. “DEEHEEHEE! NOHO WAHAHAIT! PLEHEHEASE *snort* IHIT TIHIHICKLES!” 
“Ohmigosh…really? I didn’t notice.” Donnie said sarcastically, suddenly stopping to give his brother a breather. Leo groaned throughout his laughs, glaring at his twin who just smiled innocently at him. “So~! Ready to admit the inevitable?”
Leo narrowed his eyes at his twin, oh he thinks he’s so smart. Well Leo’s not giving up that easily. “I already did! I’m older than you, remember?” Leo grinned as Donnie only chuckled, not saying anything. 
Donnie started scribbling his fingers on Leo's side, causing the slider to giggle a bit and lightly kick his feet. “Ahare yohou even trying to tickle me?” Leo asked, knowing that was probably the wrong thing to ask and couldn't help himself. Donnie sighed, now scribbling his fingers in Leo’s belly. “Oh Nardo, Nardo, Nardo…my dearest and dumb twin…” 
“I know something you don’t and the position you're in right now makes that extremely unfortunate for you.” Donnie smiled as if he wasn’t being absolutely evil. Leo swears- Donnie is scary just being himself but once your at the mercy of his tickly hands he’s terrifying. “Whahahat ahare yohou tahalking about…?” Leo asked. But as soon as he did Donnie started nibbling his stomach, making hilarious noises that had Leo in stitches. 
“AHAHA *snort* AHAHAHA WAHAHAIT!” Leo screamed, because if anything, Leo thought Donnie was going to abuse his knees again- not start nibbling at his stomach. He wasn’t prepared for this whole new ticklish sensation on his belly! This was completely unbearable…and the little “nom-ing” noises Donnie was making did not help. Guess Donnie took notes on where Leo was ticklish and how to tickle him there.
Or he just asked Raph, since he gives ticklish nibbles to him all of the time. 
“TEHEHELLOHOHO! NAHAHAT *snort* THOHOSE!” Leo cried, he tried to kick Donnie off of him which only caused the softshell turtle to nibble at his tummy more softly. Obviously causing his brothers' laughter to increase. “Donnie said no, no, no~” Donnie playfully said, holding Leo’s arms up higher and holding on tighter, laughing as Leo’s laughter increased in volume. 
“Oh, I bet that tickles, doesn’t it Lee?” Donnie chuckled, and only laughed harder when he saw Leo shake his head and stomped his feet on the floor. Leo couldn’t take it anymore. 
It tickled too much. Leo can’t even defend himself, which automatically makes this extremely unfair! So much for being the older twin, I guess…
“OKAHAHAY! OKAHAY! *snort* YOHOHU’RE OHOHOLDER! *snort*  YOHOU’RE OHOHOLDER!!!” Leo screamed. Oh dear pizza supreme in the sky, he was never gonna live this down. But to be fair, admitting being the younger twin is WAY better than dying by Donnie’s tickling hands, that’s for sure…even if Leo’s pride would be a tiny bit damaged after this.
“Sorry, what was that? I couldn’t quite hear you…” Donnie smiled, still nibbling at Leo’s stomach; which some might call mean- or even evil considering the slider already practically screamed bloody murder about freaking FINALLY admitting Donnie was older than him. But the scientist needs to make sure his little ticklish brother understands 
“YOHOU’RE THEHE *snort* OHOHOLDER TWIHIHIN!”
“Nardo, you’re gonna have to speak up~! I can’t hear you.”
“DOHOHONNIE *snort* IHI SWEHEHEAR!” 
“Alright, alright! No need to scream!” Donnie chuckled, getting off of Leo and crossing his arms triumphantly. Leo glared at him, puffing his cheeks out, pouting. “That was so unfair…” Leo whined, sitting up and sitting next to Donnie on the floor. Donnie looked at Leo and chuckled, raising his left eyebrow in amusement. “You’re the one that wanted it to be a tickle fight, idiot.” 
“Yeah! I know that! But I thought I would win!” Leo whined more loudly, slumping his entire body on Donnie’s lap. Donnie only chuckled, pulling Leo in closer, hugging them. “It’s not my fault you're a walking tickle spot.” Donnie argued.
Leo got up from his lap and crossed his arms, copying Donnie. “I am SO not! YOU PINNED MY ARMS UP! I COULDN’T DEFEND MYSELF!” Leo yelled which only caused the older of the two to snicker at the complaint. “Sounds like a walking tickle spot to me, still…” Leo rolled his eyes, sitting next to Donnie and resting his head on his shoulder as the two held hands, enjoying each other's company. 
“You…do know that if you won I’d still be older, right?” Donnie said, looking back to Leo who only wetly chuckled. “Pfft- I know that, Dee…” The slider said, because it was true, Donnie was older than Leo- by a month. After Draxum got accepted into the family, he had told them the WHOLE story on how he got them, including they’re exact ages. 
“But it’s just that…” 
“It’s just what?” 
“I just…missed this…messing around with you and stuff. After the Invasion, it hasn’t been the same, y’know?” Leo said, rubbing his fingers together trying to figure out the right words to say. “And I dunno, this might sound stupid but these moments with you are really fun…”
Donnie looked at Leo before smiling softly, giving him a hug and resting his chin on the top of Leo’s head as he melted into the embrace. “As it is true, you and I will not live on this Earth forever…knowing that, it is important to enjoy our time here while it lasts. And I’d not have anyone else other than you and our family and close friends spending that time with.” Donnie smiled, now both of them hugging each other and enjoying one another’s company.
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THE DISASTER TWINS!!!
THE MIDNIGHT DUO!!!
THEY HAVE MY HEARRRRT I LOVE THEM 💜💙
Also, yes I’m an Older Donnie Twin Truther fight me 🤪😤 /j /lh
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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months
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frostbitedoesart · 20 days
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Just making a general post real quick in response to an ask.
When I say I'm anti-ai I mean I'm against any sort of AI that steals from others or would otherwise be used to put people out of a job. I don't feel like having an elaborate conversation about the positives and negatives of AI and all that, so I'll state this as plainly as possible.
I don't like AI art. I don't like AI voice impersonations. I don't like any sort of AI that has to steal stuff from people without their consent in order to function. That is literally it.
I'm not against ALL AI. I don't think people that are okay with AI in general should be burned at the stake or something. I'm just an artist and writer that doesn't like AI being used in CREATIVE SPACES. That's it.
I didn't think I would have to clarify this but, here you go, for anyone that was bothered.
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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lastoneout · 3 months
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Actually had a decent night's sleep!! God I'm glad this hell week is over!!
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