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#hoping that i can get back to a better state mentally soon
no-one-hears-me · 10 months
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sorry guys I'm mentally stable now
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predestinatos · 5 months
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too cold | MV1 ⋆꙳❅ ‧*❆ ₊⋆
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pairing: max verstappen x female!reader
summary: stormy weather leads to stormy thoughts about a years long friendship.
tags: best friends to lovers, soo cheesy, fluff, giddy max, super whipped for reader!!, wearing his sweater, just so much softness!
author's note: i dreamt about max for some reason and he's been living in my head rent free so... i had to let this out!! hope you like it. it's a short cute thing so..!
word count: 3.5k
warnings: -
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It was cold and stormy that day. You had expected it, the forecasts all telling you the same thing, your hair completely tangled in itself as soon as you stepped out of the house into the car.
You planned it all, including getting there earlier, so you could spend as much time with Max as possible – you never skipped the pleasant silence of his presence at least once a week. What you hadn’t planned was for you two to get carried away with taking buzzfeed quizzes and personality tests to the point where it was dark outside, the storm more aggressive, more threatening, and more dangerous.
“Shit,” you muttered when the wind outside made the windows tremble with extreme force, their sound almost like a warning voice in the night. “How am I going home like this?” you asked yourself out loud, desperate and scared, as Max completed yet another ‘What’s Your Mental Age Based on Your Choice of Cutlery’ quiz. He glanced outside nonchalantly, almost carelessly, as if the question was ridiculously easy to answer, close to ironic.
Before going back to the seriousness of the questions at hand, he shrugged, shoulders going up and down in explicit tranquility. “You can stay over” he stated, his finger hovering over a weirdly shaped spoon that said ‘shit stirrer’ on its surface. You let out a breath that indicated his joke was funny yet not useful in the slightest given your current dilemma, to which he looked at you and laughed back, assuming you were amused at the choice of teaspoon he had just made.  “Max, I’m serious” you voiced your urgency and fear with those words. “Me too” he continued, eyes glued on the screen, yet slightly confused at your own comment.
At your audible sigh and attempt to get up from his bed, where you comfortably laid scrolling through your phone for options, he turned around from his chair which was facing the screen. “You’re not leaving” he said, in a concerned tone of a friend who refused to let you be consumed by the rapidly increasing rain. “I don’t understand what the matter is” he continued as he saw you searching through his room for your things, messily scattered on the floor, reminiscent of childhood times spent together.
You merely looked at him in response, the answer obvious to you but seemingly not to him, only hitting him hard in the face as a joke he couldn’t help but laugh at seconds later. “You always slept here” he said, astonished at your reluctance and apparent timidness. “Yeah, Max. When we were 11” you protested, tucking some hair behind your ear as you looked for your charger. “Plus, I don’t have a pajama, or spare underwear” your arms now crossed across your chest, mimicking his own, a baffled smile on his lips.
“You can wear one of my sweaters. And like, my boxers, or something” this made your mouth drop in ridiculous surprise, a fear in your eyes which he didn’t understand. “I’m serious! It’s better than you going out with this storm!” his arm pointed towards the window, the view outside a paid actor because a lightning appeared violently before both of you. With a winning grin, he finished his argument with a “C’mon I’ll let you choose the outfit.”
Opening the drawers, you let yourself take a look at the collection of multicolored sweaters organized neatly. Your eyes landed on a grey one, which looked a bit worn out but comfortable at the same time, its marks of usage being a testament to its quality. You grabbed it and noticed that it smelled like Max, like the years of friendship you two shared. “The boxers are in the other drawer” Max interrupted your thoughts, yet his indifferent air made you less awkward about this situation, almost like it was normal that this was happening, like you were both 10 again, popcorn being prepared in the small kitchen next door.
You let yourself randomly choose some of his underwear, trying your best not to look too much at it, knowing little to nothing about how to even begin choosing such a thing for yourself. The strong wind whistled outside, and Max’s fingers hit the keyboard, creating a soothing lullaby.
“I’m- uh-… going then” you said, making your way towards the bathroom as he happily nodded, the familiarity of the house being a known fact for both of you.
The truth was, Max missed you. A lot. He missed hanging out with you all night, watching really bad films and playing silly videogames, drinking some beers and enjoying yourselves. Lately, he hadn’t had the time to do all these things, let alone doing them with you, and even though he did not plan this storm in the slightest, he was glad for it. The rain came as a reminder that you two had a year long friendship you could still enjoy, the sound blending with the one coming from the bathroom as you turned on the shower.
Sleeping over only got weird given the fact that Max was a boy and you were a girl, but it shouldn’t have been like that. In his mind, nothing changed, and nothing should have to change – he still wanted you as close as he did when you two watched scary video compilations on youtube and spent all night hiding under the covers and whispering in an attempt to not ‘awake the big monster’.
He still wanted to spend time with you when you were 16 and started talking about how cute his friends were, asking him if they were single or not as you put a lollipop in your mouth and painted your nails in colorful amusement.
He still wanted you to sleep over even when his girlfriends told him they didn’t quite like the fact that he was so close with you, that he seemed to want to be with you more than with them, that he dropped everything as soon as you texted him a slightly unusual text.
And it was normal, and alright, because you were best friends, because you knew each other better than your own selves, because you’d recognize his laugh in the middle of a crowd even with noise cancelling headphones, and he would recognize the smile you made when you were flustered even if he was blindfolded.
It was also normal for him to smile to himself and feel the happiest he has felt in a while, because he missed you, and you were staying over and nothing would have felt better than knowing he had a night full of your presence.
Meanwhile, you stood in his all-too familiar shower, accepting the fact that he had no conditioner, and a shampoo would have to do for the night. Simultaneously, this made you reflect on the clear fact that he had probably had no stable, consistent, female presence in his life in a while. As the liquid dropped in your hand and you brought your hands to your hair, thoughts about previous relationships of his flooded your mind.
They never ended well, and the guilt you felt because of it was ever present. Max was the best friend you could’ve asked for, because he always picked you, no matter what. In fact, he gave it no thought nor justification, not to you or his previous relationships. He accepted the fact that you were his priority as a given, something so natural as breathing, as blood pumping through his veins. You couldn’t deny you did the same. Previous partners of yours weren’t too fond of his constant need to assess and approve of them, of how he was your emergency contact whenever anything happened, how you made sure you spent time with him at least once a week.
Feeling the foam forming on your scalp, you remembered the times where you two bathed together, the innocence of gone times flying through your head with fondness. Of course, you two grew, and while you never broke the bond that formed between you, it was also harder to continue certain traditions you maintained.
Your teenage years were filled with angst and some bickering over how uncomfortable he made your dates, or how all he did was talk about girls when you two were together. You used each other as diaries and confidantes, keeping secrets in a closed vault made of memories. Nothing really had changed besides your ages, and none of you were dating, or at least it did not seem like it.
As you washed your body with lavender scented soap, you realized this is what you were missing – the comfortability of being the most like yourself you could possibly be, alongside him.
Max stared at the “You Are 14 Years Old!” result on his computer, reading the in depth description on how that one fork gave his age away, when he heard your shout for his name coming from the now foggy bathroom, the place now looking more like Silent Hill or a liminal space. Removing one side of his headphones off, his voice echoed throughout the apartment “Yes?”, filled with softness and worry, a completely unknown care for you which wasn’t displayed by anyone else but him. Smiling to yourself, you replied, “do you seriously only own one bath towel?”
Removing both of his headphones off now, with realization hitting him and he jumped from his seat, he ran towards the drawer that possessed all the other towels he stored in organized fashion. “Shit! No! Sorry! I’m on my way!” he said urgently, grabbing one as he ran towards the bathroom, opening its door and popping only one arm in, his eyes facing the wall but also closed with affirming need to reassure you that he wasn’t looking, refused to look, would never even consider to do such a thing.
You pulled the fabric off his hand as you thanked him with a soft giggle, his previous nonchalant attitude vanishing upon the thought of seeing you naked – which you weren’t, and he would’ve realized this had he considered the fact that the bathroom possessed ONE towel, currently wrapped around your now wet body. Shivering with cold, you got yourself dry as fast as you could, while Max sat back down in his chair, cursing to himself at his clumsiness and lack of thought.
Examining yourself in the mirror as dried your hair off (after several minutes of looking for the hairdryer, not wanting to put Max through the whole ordeal of performing the biggest demonstration of respect towards one’s privacy ever witnessed) you noticed something you hadn’t before. This simple, yet incriminating item put into question your previous thoughts about Max’s lack of companionship in his home, your eyebrows furrowed and your mouth turning downwards at the thought that he was hiding something from you.
On the tiny little cup sitting on the sink, there were two toothbrushes. They were carefully put together in a magical arrangement of colors that indicated that one had to be able to tell them apart, like each had its own owner. Suddenly, the whole idea of sleeping over – hell, of wearing Max’s clothes – seemed ridiculously selfish. You had done it before, but you were adults now, and with adulthood came a sense of responsibility and respect that hit you in the face like a slap, the simple idea of an innocent sleepover with your best friend sounding absolutely childish and ridiculous.
“Max?” you called out again, a deep breath escaping your lungs as you sat down on the toilet seat, hair still slightly damp, towel still wrapped around your body upon your refusal to put his clothes on. “Yes?” he replied once again, a feeling of déjà vu invading your thoughts, a repetition of mere seconds before yet with rose tinted glasses off.
 “I think it’s best if I just go home,” you muttered, even though you hadn’t moved. Realistically, the idea of going out there terrified you, but perhaps not as much as staying over, given the current situation. Putting your underwear back on after showering felt dirty, but perhaps wearing his clean one after noticing another one’s presence in his room, his life, his thoughts, made you feel even dirtier.
“Come on, I bet your outfit looks amazing” he said jokingly, assuming you were embarrassed about your current look, trying to lighten up the mood with teasing reassurance. Getting up once again, he stood near the bathroom door, head close to it as if trying to listen to the fabric against your skin, some hint of your own amused presence. All he heard was silence, one so unbelievably loud he felt something off, something wrong. “Can I come in?” he asked, his voice now more careful, more tender, and more concerned.
You only murmured in allowance, and noticed the doorknob turn as he stepped inside. “What’s up?” he asked, his eyes revealing deep concern with slight embarrassment over the painting you two were probably creating. Him, pajama pants and hoodie on, glasses now slightly foggy; you, with droplets falling down your hair as you looked down, hugging the towel tightly against your body. “I don’t want to cause any trouble” you said as you unconsciously looked back at the toothbrushes which now seemed to stare at you both accusingly, judgingly.
“Why would you- Oh,” he interrupted himself, his gaze following yours towards the same spot, his look going from confused to serious to utterly humored. “This?” he asked again, grabbing the small toothbrush from the cup, its cable a pretty yellow shade. “What’s your favorite color again?” he continued, waving the object in front of your face as you stared at it in confusion.
Looking up, you replied simply “yellow- oh,” it was your turn to interrupt yourself, now realizing how you had almost forgotten your childhood promise, yet surprised as well at the fact that he had kept it after all these years, the innocence of the act causing your heart to hurt slightly.
“It’s always been here. I mean, not the same one, obviously, but… a spare toothbrush” he explained, even though he did not have to, his hand playfully messing your hair before he headed bac towards the door. “Get dressed, silly. We have films to watch” his warm voice instructed you with tenderness before he closed the door behind him.
Stepping out of the bathroom, finally dry and dressed, you forced Max to close his eyes before looking at you. “Don’t make fun of me or I’ll leave” you threatened jokingly, as his eyes remained tightly shut with his hands in front of them dramatically. “I won’t I promise!” he claimed, yet he was already laughing, the sound of it reminding you of the years of togetherness you both shared.
“Okay, you can look” you finally gave your permission, as he took his hands off his face and blinked fast, the lights suddenly blinding him. At first, he just stared at you, expression absolutely unreadable. Then, he burst into laughter, apologizing as his giggles filled the bedroom. “I look ridiculous” you complained, the long sleeves covering your hands and flopping lazily as you did so. “No you look adorable!” he tried to protest, laughter insistent on making its way through his lips, his eyes shining with happy tears. “Adorably ridiculous” you continued, rolling your eyes and throwing yourself on the bed defeatedly, your head buried in his pillow, filled with the scent of him.
Knowing your mood would change soon, Max merely smiled to himself as he started putting a film on, the choice being the Twilight saga – easy to watch, entertaining, fun, and he could tease you about it constantly, pretending he didn’t enjoy it himself. Bags of jellybeans hit your head as he threw them towards you, in an attempt to wake you from your moody attitude. “C’mon grumpy I have beer” he poked you as he sat on the bed as well, pressing play and opening a bag which he waved in front of your face as you got up lazily.
“’I know what you are’ ‘Say it. Out loud. Say it!’ ‘Vampire’” you said the lines along with the film, echoing each and every intonation and expression. Popping a bear shaped jellybean in his mouth as he took another sip of his beer, Max interrupted your acting session by saying “can you imagine how awkward it would be if it was something else entirely and he would just be like… ‘uh no’” and laughing to himself. Your arm flew to his as you punched it angrily, despite the fact that you were giggling to yourself.
Something about getting you slightly on your nerves while also making you smile made Max feel almost at home, in a safe space without comparison, only available to him when you were around. He felt himself in a constant state of meditation whenever he was around you, his breathing naturally adjusting itself to match yours.
Instinctively, and not out of the ordinary for any of you, he grabbed your hand and played with it softly, his fingers feeling the soft texture of your skin and pinching it with playful tenderness. You never questioned it, and neither did he, this need you two had to display affection more than most friends did, the need to always be in some sort of contact with each other, to feel each other’s warmth and presence closely. Without taking his eyes off of the film, seemingly very intensely focused on Edward’s skin of a killer, he spoke up. “You don’t look ridiculous,” he said, as you held your gaze on the film, yet laughing at his comment, expecting a joke to be made about how what’s on the screen is way more embarrassing than you in his underwear. Yet he said something completely different. “You always look pretty. Very pretty” his voice was soft as he now looked at you, and you felt his gaze on your skin, your cheeks, your eyelashes, yet refused to look at him and face whatever was happening in that night.
The windows rattled once again, breaking the momentary spell that hovered in the room, hypnotizing both of you with the haze of uncertain feelings. You heard his breathing as well, heavy and nervous now, his heart racing and yours matching his, maybe because you were so deeply connected or maybe because your feelings and his were now the same shade of complexity.
 You wondered if this is why you had stopped sleep overs together. Perhaps it was the fear of facing the fact that things were not as simple and easy to brush off when the clock hit 3am and his hand was on his and your head on his shoulder and you had no intention of moving. And he shared these same thoughts, realizing how that letting go of you right now would probably be the worst thing that could happen, the scariest thought that could possibly cross his mind.
All this happened in fractions of second, too short for any of you to truly acknowledge what was happening, his voice interrupting both of your thoughts as he spoke once again, “obviously not as pretty as Edward Cullen but-“ to which you rolled your eyes and laughed. “I bet he’d look better in your sweatshirt” you said, another sip of beer falling on your lips.
“Impossible” he replied, a smile on his lips, his eyes finally meeting yours and then taking your whole appearance in, your cheeks blushing shyly at how attentively he looked at you, at how his gaze seemed so tender and soft. A sudden urgency to feel his lips on yours filled your thoughts with sheer intensity that terrified you. You hadn’t seen Max that way, hadn’t considered it nor question it before, not even when your dates and boyfriends accused you of things, not when your friends commented on how you looked at him. Yet in that exact moment, something shifted completely, perhaps stirred by the storm outside, perhaps because it simply felt right in that moment to feel wrong.
“Can I kiss you?” he suddenly asked. The innocence of the question made you giggle, the contrast between his soft and careful voice and his adult look with a week old stubble making you giddy and timid as you nodded.
His lips touched yours with caution, yet with undeniable fondness that made you question why this hadn’t happened before. You felt his smile in between the kiss, the satisfaction of finally breaking this unknown wall that had existed between you for so long, and which you remained so unaware about.
Pulling away, Max’s eyes stared into yours before moving to the screen, a satisfied smile on his now slightly redder than usual lips, your own face mimicking his. “Edward Cullen could never kiss as well as you” he whispered, earning himself another soft punch, followed by 3 more films worth of kissing.
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kasagia · 3 months
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A powerful man
Pairing: dark!young Gamemaker!candidate for president! Coriolanus Snow x fem!Capitol! reader Summary: You thought he was different. That he would never cheat on you. But apparently Coriolanus who came back from District 12, became Gamemaker, and ran for president was not the same man you knew. And you'll soon find out how wrong you were about him. Requested by: @tastycakee Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @il0vebeingdelulu @chelseyyouraverageluigi Warning: 18+; My first time writing a smut scene, so please be gentle. I hope you will like it...🙈🙈; Coriolanus Snow, toxic behaviour; smut; Coriolanus Snow's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist
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"Mr. Snow is busy…" you slam the door to Coriolanus' office behind you, closing it in the face of his secretary, who wouldn't let you in.
You cross your arms, glaring at your boyfriend in pure fury. Coriolanus stops writing something and looks up to enter just as you loudly shut the door behind you.
He raises his eyebrows slightly in surprise at the sight of you, then frowns at the pure anger in your eyes and clenched fists. He hopes your anger isn't caused by what he was trying to hide for you... otherwise, he will have some heads cut off.
"Y/N, darling, what are you doing here?" He asks with a charming smile as he gets up from his chair and walks over to you.
"Livia Cardew?" He stops at the mention of her name. He plays confused, frowning as he slowly responds to you, pretending to try to understand what you mean.
"I have no idea..."
"You could at least have some decency and admit that you slept with that whore!" His secretary must have heard your scream. He makes a mental note to talk to her when he's alone and to make sure he sends to the district and hangs any maid from the Cardew's house who spilled his secret.
"Look... it's not that I wanted it." He starts out gently; he tries to calm you down and explain his actions, but as soon as he takes a step towards you, you move away from him and growl like a rabid animal.
"Oh, of course not! After all, it's your dick that makes decisions for you, not your brain!" You shout at him angrily, pressing an accusatory finger into his chest.
He can no longer control himself after you cross the line. His calm, collected mask falls away to reveal his own rage and iritation. He grabs your arms tightly, making you gasp softly in pain as he shakes you lightly and pins you against the wall.
But he controls himself enough to not physically hurt you… at least not more. He just holds you there tightly, taking advantage of your moment of shock to explain his motives to you.
"Listen to me. She was a means to an end. I needed some information from her. I had to get closer, sleep with her, and sneak around her house, especially her father's office. End of the story. Considering it, it wasn't cheating. It was more like business than anything else. Besides, you're way better than her, petal. And I kept thinking about you all the time and how I'd rather have you wrapped around me than that thoughtless, naive bitch."
You feel sick when you hear it, when you imagine him in bed with her, and even more sick when you hear that he doesn't think that he did a bad thing at all. You feel like throwing up, just remembering how you let him touch you and how you treated him, worshipping him as if he were your whole world. You were so stupid and naive.
"You only prove that you are as disgusting, cruel, and manipulative as I thought. You can play with other people and their feelings, but not with mine. Not anymore. It's over. I've already moved out of your apartment, so you can continue running your campaign and exploiting other people all you want. I just fucking hope you won't win." You say it angrily, pushing him away from you.
You take advantage of the state of shock he is in, and you get out of there as fast as you can. The scent of Coriolanus' perfume clings to you, and you already know you need to take a very long bath when you get home to brush it away. As well as the felling of his hands on you. You only hope you won't have any bruises after his very tight and painful grip.
You practically run all the way to your car. You get in, not noticing that your ex-boyfriend is watching you carefully from his office window.
Coriolanus' eyes don't leave you. He watches carefully as you get into the car with his hands in his pockets.
He chastises himself for being so gentle with you. He promised himself after Lucy Gray that he would never fall in love again. And you appeared, breaking his iron resolve with one smile and a kiss. He should have made sure that he had enough control over you so that you would never think of leaving him before he started spoiling you.
All the dinners, sweet words and compliments, and thoughtful dates... he had rewarded you for nothing, and now his disobedient brat thought she could just walk away from him. Yes. He had given you too much freedom.
He should immediately clearly define the dynamics of your relationship, instead of leaving you under the illusion that you have something to say in any matter.
He remembered you from the Academy, even though you were a year younger than him. You were ambitious, like him. You always followed your own plan and ideas. Little rebel. It was cute then, but now he realises he needs to temper your personality. After all, his First Lady had to obey him at all times. You might have had a strong character and fought like a lioness, but absolutely not against him. He will destroy you or teach you obedience. You could be his wolf on a leash or his faithful dog. He didn't see it any other way. And he definitely won't let you go.
Coriolanus has already lost his one bird. He won't let another one do the same and escape from him.
And he even knew who would help him with it.
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"I don't understand why they're starting a campaign when there's still a good half a year left until the elections." You grumble to your labmate as you two work on a new tranquillizer for peacekeepers to use on rebels.
"They have to check the identity and background of the candidates, and so on. My father said that the process itself was a good three months of work. Besides, considering that a president usually stays in his seat until he dies of old age, it's better that it lasts longer. Let them at least work hard to earn our votes if they are about to rule over Panem all their lives."
"That's six months of seeing that son of a bitch's face on TV, on posters around town, and on practically every fucking corner. Don't be surprised that I would prefer it to be shorter."
"I don't want to be on his side, but I think he can win. You know very well that he has charisma, money, and... well." She interrupts, blushing a little. You roll your eyes at her. You know that Coriolanus is... breathtakingly handsome. His cold beauty will steal the hearts of many. It will be useful for his media image to hide what a boor he was.
"Big cock?" You joke, no longer vulnerable to the charming side he has been showing the public.
"Y/N!" She hisses at you, laughing softly and looking around the lab. Meanwhile, the rats you were testing on became... too calm. At least Dr. Gaul's snakes will have something to eat.
"What? I'm stating facts. I wouldn't be surprised if he slept his way to the top." You say, as you are preparing new test subjects and reducing the dose of preparation a little.
"Shh! The viper is coming here." She whispers and goes back to work.
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice that, in fact, Dr. Gaul enters the laboratory. She might be getting older, but she still held up well. The only thing that changed was that she walked with the aid of a cane, which only added to her intimidating appearance. And the fact that she was no longer the main organiser of the Hunger Games. Coriolanus performed this role for her. Although the title was still hers.
"Dr. Gaul." You both greet her and step away from the examination table. She watches you and your work closely, mumbling something under her breath, and raises her cane, pointing at you.
"Y/L/N. My office."
"Yes, ma'am." You say and follow her. You feel your friend's eyes on your back as you follow the woman to her office.
You close the door behind you and take a seat in front of her desk as she nods towards you. Dr. Gaul takes some pills from his desk and swallows them. One of her snakes slithers between your legs and climbs up the desk to wrap around her owner's hand and then her cane. You have not only the piercing eyes of a woman but also the eyes of a snake.
She smiles, seeing that you didn't even flinch, still maintaining your calm demeanour.
"You're not a stupid girl." She says this while examining her pet. "And yet you find yourself in situations that only cast you in this light."
"I beg you pardon?" You ask, not expecting your conversation to become so... personal.
"I always said Mr. Snow would achieve something great. At the beginning, I thought he would be a Gamemaker like me. After all, he is not suitable for being a scientist like us. He has no patience; he needs new challenges, experiences, and adrenaline. But now... you know that you can have the president as... a person who is not entirely favourable to you, right?"
"I understand that there may be some difficulties…"
"Difficulties? Child, do you know him? You must be aware of what he is capable of. Or at least have some suspicions." She interrupts you, looking at you pointedly.
You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to calm down. You were fed up with the topic of your ex. Apparently, you couldn't just break up with him without making a fuss.
"What did you want to talk to me about, Dr. Gaul? What is it all for?" You ask, slightly annoyed, and she just laughs mockingly, shaking her head in amusement.
"I like you, child. I hope you won't disappoint me. Therefore, think about what is good for your future. Pride is fatal. Money and influence bring opportunities. But you probably already know that. After all, no one who gets into my lab is a saint. Especially not you and Mr. Snow."
"I'm not a whore like him." You defend yourself, crossing your arms, making Dr. Gaul laugh again.
The snake moves from her cane to the desk and nests in your lap. Out of habit, you stroke his head, gaining interest again and a gleam of approval in Dr. Gaul's eyes. After all, this one was a particularly venomous specimen.
"Each of us is. We may not do what they do, but for money... people can do everything. Don't you remember how you sold your dear friend? How did you knock her out of the competition for a spot in my lab? How have you done everything—play every dirty card to make sure that you will become a victor? Just like Mr. Snow. I heard there was a... misunderstanding between you two, but life isn't a fairy tale, Miss Y/L/N. You can go bankrupt and ruin your reputation while waiting for your prince. If you want to achieve something, be known as a great mind like me, and be relevant in this city full of rats and snakes, then you will do the right thing for your future."
"Dr. Gaul, with all due respect, I am acutely aware of what is good for me. And it's definitely not Coriolanus Snow." You say, standing up and letting the snake slither onto her desk again.
"Pity. So prepare a contingency plan. After all, I won't live forever. It is not known who will take my place or whose name will hang above the entrance to this laboratory. It's not my choice. But if it was, I would choose you as my successor. Unfortunately, the future president will have the most impact on that. And then... it may turn out that there will be no place for you here."
"It's not certain who will win."
"Are you sure, child?" Her question can't help but make you doubt. Coriolanus wouldn't give up so easily. You know it. Just like if Coriolanus wins, you're finished. Your entire career… "Go. Think about it. I hope you will prove that you have some mind. It would be such a pity to lose such a talented scientist as you. Especially because of stupid love affairs."
You mutter goodbye to her and leave the office. You're long back at your table in the lab when the secret door opens and Coriolanus steps out.
"Is that what you wanted, Mr. Snow?" The woman asks, turning to face him. Coriolanus moves closer to the desk, but enough to be out of her snake's reach.
"You could have been more intimidating. After all, her entire career depends on her submission."
"If you want her to truly obey you, she must come to you herself. Like a pet. Like a snake. If she sees that your relationship will bring her further benefits, she will come back to you. She's not stupid enough to waste such an opportunity. At least I hope so. You should focus on your campaign."
"I'd like that too. But currently… something else is on my mind." He says, walking over to the tinted window that overlooks the lab. He puts his hands in his pockets and watches you carefully as you work.
"You're wasting your potential. Maybe your children will be wise enough to follow in my footsteps more. One is running for president, and the other is a military chemist. Such a waste."
"Don't worry. One of our children will definitely continue your legacy, you have my word." He assures her while observing you.
You lean over the table, strands of your hair falling into your eyes behind your safety glasses, as you test another biological weapon on rats. You look hot in that scientist outfit. He grunts, feeling his pants getting a little too tight. He regrets that he never took the opportunity to visit you here...
"It better be that way. And for God's sake, don't stare at her like a love-struck puppy like you did with your tribute from 12. Patience. Or you will have to train her to make her obedient."
"You know I like a challenge, Dr. Gaul." He replies with a sly, cocky smirk and turns his head towards Doctor Gaul once he has calmed down a bit and composed himself.
"Go away now. Your last Hunger Games must be amazing and unforgettable, or I'll tell her what you have planned for her." He laughs at this, shaking his head.
"I appreciate your attempts to intimidate me, but you know I'll be happy with any outcome. Whether it's keeping her on a leash or reshaping her to meet my needs as my First Lady."
"But we both know which one you would prefer more." They share a sinister smirk. Coriolanus owed her a lot. He's learned many things under her tutelage... things that he uses to make sure you know that your place is always with him.
"As I said, I love a challenge. I will be expecting you as an honoured guest at this year's Hunger Games and my wedding. Of course, right next to my fiancée."
"Don't scare her away, Mr. Snow." She reminds him when he receives a package from her with the latest biological weapon. He will test it at this year's tributes. He smiles, thinking that it must have come from your talented fingers.
"Snow lands on top, Dr. Gaul." He assures her and says goodbye, leaving through a secret passage.
He still had a lot of things to do.
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It started innocently… if that's a word you could use to describe Coriolanus Snow.
You knew he wouldn't give up so easily after your breakup and that he would want to come back to you. And that he will use every means to make sure this happens. After all, he was an ambitious bastard who thought he could do anything if he tried hard enough. And Coriolanus had big plans. Plans that you only became aware of when it was too late for you to try and rescue yourself from him.
It started with roses.
Not just any roses. The most beautiful ones Coriolanus could find in his grandmother's garden. Beautiful white roses. A symbol of love, affection, innocence, and loyalty. Everything that Coriolanus lacks.
They were delivered together with a letter in which he deeply assured you of his feelings and asked for a meeting.
You happily threw them into the fireplace.
Then he started sending you roses to the lab. And from the smiles Dr. Gaul was giving you, you knew the bastard had won her over to his side. At least you and your co-worker had some fun destroying them in all sorts of strange ways, starting with burning them with a laser, throwing them into toxic waste, or even breaking them down into the substance you needed for your experiments.
One day, gifts came along with roses. Jewellery, books, clothes (even underwear, if you could call a thin set of strings that), concert tickets with invitations from him (you'd rather cut off your ears than sit next to him in the concert hall or stand by the stage), he did everything to get your attention. Which you happily denied him.
You avoided him like the plague, missing every event he was supposed to be at (even your little sister's graduation from the Academy). But there was one event your family wouldn't let you miss.
"Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N. Miss Y/L/N and Miss Y/S/N. How nice to see you all together. May the odds be ever in your favour." Dr. Gaul greets you as you arrive at the official opening gala of the Hunger Games.
"Dr. Gaul. Happy Hunger Games." You say back.
"You too, dear child. I can steal you from your parents and sister, can't I?" Your parents nod quickly before you can speak. Dr. Gaul takes you by the arm and leads you to the upper lodge.
"I believe I should sit somewhere else…"
"Nonsense. Mr. Snow made sure your family sat near Mr. and Mrs. Plinth. They have good company, so you can make us that pleasure and sit with us." he says, taking her seat. You see that on your seat is a small piece of paper with your name on it.
"Us?" You question the woman suspiciously.
"Hello, petal." Coriolanus' voice behind you confirms your suspicions. Before he sits down next to you, he leans down and places a long, wet kiss on your cheek, while he tucks the rose behind your ear. One that matches your dress perfectly. You have no idea how the bastard did it. "You look stunning, as always. I was worried you weren't feeling well when I couldn't find you at your sister's graduation."
"I've actually been feeling bad for a few days now. The smell of roses makes me sick." You tell him, not hiding the hostility and coldness in your tone. He frowns at this, obviously not happy with your allusion.
"Maybe you are pregnant?" He replies mockingly, and you glare at him. He smiles at this, placing his hand on your bare knee. You regret not wearing a longer dress. At least you wouldn't have to endure the feel of his skin against yours. Reluctantly, you remember the time when you dreamed of his touch.
"You wish." You say, shaking his hand away as you place your leg over your knee. He doesn't care and instead places his hand on your other knee, making sure the railings of the lodge cover his hand as he gently slides it under your dress. You shiver as his cold hand presses against your warm thigh.
"Oh, you have no idea." He leans gently towards you to whisper in your ear.
Before you have a chance to push him away (or slap him), Coriolanus stands up and gives the opening speech of this year's Hunger Games. You glare at Dr. Gaul, and she just shrugs and turns her attention to the tributes. Only now do you notice that the cameras are focused on your row... and especially on you and Coriolanus.
"Aside from our little jokes… it hurts me that you didn't show up to any of the events I invited you to." He says, sitting down again as the reaping of the tributes begins.
He rests his elbow on your armrest and leans in to whisper in your ear. You know that, from a distance, it looks like he's flirting with you. And you don't like it one bit. Especially since the lives of 24 young teenagers are crashing down at the same time.
"Are you talking about your political events?" You ask, trying to shrug him off and move away from him. He doesn't let you, though, taking your hand in his and placing his hand on your knee, pulling you closer to him.
"I'm talking about our dates, darling."
"We are not together anymore. And we are not going on any dates." You remind him dryly, with great hostility in your voice. The bastrad doesn't even tremble.
"I dare to disagree with you. I never said I was done with you." He says dismissively as his hand roams freely under your dress, tracing patterns on your thigh. You shiver, despising him and yourself for the way your body responds to his touch.
"Well, I am done with you." You say it firmly, with all the confidence in your voice.
"Are you sure? Your sister is a hell of a smart beast. What a pity if the university did not accept her due to... the increased number of applicants."
"Are you trying to bully me? Threaten?" You ask incredulously, finding the strength to push his hands away from you. He gives you a slightly offended look, but instead of taking your hint and moving away, he tucks your hair behind your ear.
"I'm asking for a little cooperation. The Capitol would see me better if I was... in a committed relationship. And now all eyes are on the two of us and the tributes. They'll disappear as soon as they stop transmitting, and then the eyes of the Capitol will be only on me and you. And because you're sitting very close to me, people will think you didn't come here alone... even if that's what you originally wanted."
"You bastard..." You hiss at him angrily, and he just smiles, half amused, half cocky.
He raises his hand and caresses your cheek tenderly. You want to move away from him, but he holds your jaw tightly with his fingers. He tilts your head up slightly, forcing you to look into his icy blue eyes. He smells of roses and cigars... you wonder if he started smoking after your breakup or for business, to increase the number of contacts during these smoking encounters on the balcony.
"Just one kiss and a smile, sweetheart. Is that so much to give to ensure your younger sister a secure place at university?"
"And what later? Will you force me to get engaged to you? Get married? Create a fictional family?" You ask him furiously, knowing full well that if you give this devil a finger, he will soon demand your entire arm.
"I'm not asking you to marry me. Just about pretending to be my date... for now. You don't want your sister to suffer just because you didn't want to place a kiss on my cheek, do you?" You sigh, knowing he doesn't leave you much of a choice.
"She will choose whatever field of study she wants." You make sure by bargaining with him before you agree to anything he wants you to do. He nods, and you can only hope he has the decency to keep the agreement.
You smile sweetly at him and place your hand on his cheek, turning his face towards you. You press a kiss on his other cheek, making sure to leave a trace of your lipstick. You hear people whistling and clapping in applause.
You pull away from him and keep a fake smile on your lips, ignoring his happy, cocky smirk and tone of voice as he stands up and says an ending speech. As did the shocked looks from your family and Dr. Gaul's mischievous smirk.
You have no idea that this is just the beginning. And even if you do, you try to convince yourself otherwise.
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You've had enough.
For a month now, Coriolanus has been showering you with various gifts, following you around like a shadow, taking you to the laboratory, and bringing you home. He forced you to get into his limo once. The next day, it took you an hour to cover the hickeys he left on your neck.
You weren't together; you pushed him away as much as you could, and he tried at all costs to get you back into his arms or bed or into your pants. But now he has crossed the line.
That's why you stormed straight to his office again, bypassing all the secretaries and security with your natural grace.
And what unnerved you the most was how the bastard had the nerve to smile in amusement as you barged into his office.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" You snap at him angrily, closing the door behind you. You walk over to his desk, the click of your heels echoing around the room as you throw your purse onto the chair and cross your arms, glaring at him.
"I have the impression that your greetings have become more and more dry and aggressive, haven't they, petal?
"My sister failed her first exam, even though I know she wrote it damn well. As it turns out, her professor is a dear friend of yours. Do you have any explanation for this?" You ask him accusingly, and he just smirks and shrugs, not even hiding the fact that he wasn't involved at all.
"Perhaps she didn't study enough?"
"Do you want to take it out on someone? Take it out on me, but leave Y/S/N out of it!" You shout at him madly, pointing a finger at him. He tilts his head at you in curiosity and stands from his chair, walking around the desk and standing in front of you.
You don't feel comfortable about him being so close to you, but there's no way that you'll show him that he's making you feel nervous and anxious.
"Calm down, sweetheart. This is exactly the reaction I needed from you." He says, his icy blue eyes piercing right through you, making you almost shiver under his intensive gaze. Even when you were in heels, he was slightly taller than you.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" You growl menacingly, crossing your arms defensively. He just smiles and gently brushes your hair away from your face, smiling softly. He is not gentle. You know about it. He's waiting for your slightest slip or show of weakness.
"I've been trying to contact you for weeks, sending letters, calling, leaving notes, and trying to start a conversation."
"You push me into a limo and molest me." You say, defeating all his attempts to make you feel guilty.
You won't have any Stockholm syndrome. He is the one who pursues you; he is the one who harasses you and won't let you move on after the breakup. He didn't even fucking acknowledge your breakup! The problem was with him, not with you. And you know he saw it fully in your eyes—the certainty that what was between you was far from a healthy relationship. And he doesn't like the direction you're going with your conclusions. That's why he resorts to heavier measures.
You hold back a gasp as he suddenly closes the gap between you with one step and places his hand on your cheek. You let him stroke it tenderly as he leans towards you to whisper seductively in your ear.
"You moaned so beautifully for me that even a deaf person wouldn't think you were forced. Admit that you miss me, just like I miss you. You'll make it easier for all of us."
He pulls away from you just enough to look into your eyes again. You decide to try and play his game and lick your lips, moving your gaze between his eyes and his mouth. You tilt your chin up and lean in, your lips almost brushing against his as you whisper.
"Listen to me carefully, because I'll only say this once. I. Will. Never. Come. Back. To. You. So take a hint and leave me alone." As you finish speaking, you reach for your bag and step away from him. You're walking towards the exit when, halfway there, you hear his quick footsteps behind you.
"Not so fast." He grabbed your wrist and turned you towards him, holding you close to his chest. His eyes turn a raging ocean colour with anger and annoyance at your teasing and mockery. "Do you really want your sister to have to take thousands of exams? Work harder because you couldn't commit one evening to me?"
"Evening?" You ask indignantly and in outrage, at which he laughs.
"Nothing dirty. Although I like your way of thinking..."
"Coriolanus." You interrupt him before he can continue the topic. He rolls his eyes at you, clearly not appreciating you interrupting his fun.
"I need a date for one evening. And after the successful show we put on at the opening of The Hunger Games, people are hungry for... well, more of us. What do you say? Will you find enough courage and willingness to accompany me, my love?"
"And you'll leave Y/S/N alone? No more creating problems for her to get my attention?" You make sure. He smiles... differently. With a strange, dangerous glint in his eye that makes you feel more uneasy than how you were since he pulled you to his chest. And you realise how close he actually is when he leans in, forcing you to look him in the eyes.
"Have I ever broken my promise to you, Y/N?"
"Surprisingly not." You answer after a long moment, trying to remember any such situation. He always did everything he promised for you. You didn't know if it was his advantage or… a more disquieting trait.
"You see. You have my word. I will fulfil everything I promised you, my little petal. Everything." He whispers softly, making you shiver as he gently takes a rose out of his jacket pocket and places it behind your ear. You knew this supposedly sweet act of his very well. It was the importance of his territory.
After his words, there is a long silence between the two of you. You hold your breath, mesmerised, as you stare into his icy-blue eyes. He was always so… composed around you. It was as if he was always able to do and say exactly what he wanted and planned. It was as if your entire interaction was just a game for him, a game he was convinced he couldn't lose. He lost his temper with you only once—when you surprised him with that break up…. but you aren't sure if he acknowledged it.
You come to your senses and out of his strange charm the moment he leans in so close to you that your noses gently brush against each other.
You pull away from him, much to his displeasure, and clear your throat. You keep your eyes on him, and in a challenge—one of the few acts of rebellion you can commit—you reach for the rose in your hair and take it out.
"When and where is this event?" You growl through clenched teeth.
"Friday evening. I'll pick you up at 8 p.m." He says it nonchalantly, putting his hands in his pocket. He acts as if nothing happened, and he was just inviting you to the party. As if he wasn't threatening your sister's future to force you to hang on his arm as an ornament for one evening... or maybe even longer.
"I'll go there myself."
"Not happening. You're coming there with me. Transportation is on me. After all, you're my date. It would look bad in public opinion if I didn't treat you like... a princess." He says it firmly, with a delicate smile on his lips—not the pleasant, warm one, but the cunning, cold one he showed when he won over his opponent. The one you were starting to get used to.
And you think while looking at him that if you were the princess in this story, then he was the dragon, keeping you in your palace or tower away from other people. To make sure you were completely at his mercy.
"I'm not sitting next to you in the limo or any car. And if you lay your hands on me, I will cut them off with those dull knives they serve to people with the dinner." He's more amused by your threat, but nods obediently. He takes a few steps towards you but stops, leaving a decent distance between you.
"I'd like to see you try. But you have to behave yourself. Or little Y/S/N will repeat her first year at university. Are we clear?"
"Yes. And I already have a dress, so don't you dare send me anything, understood?" He chuckles mockingly at your words, his pearly white teeth gleaming in the sunlight. You know him too well to be enchanted by such a sight of him. After all, the wolf seems beautiful too, until it attacks you.
"Perfectly. I can't wait to see you then." He says it in a sweet tone of voice. You shake your head and walk towards the exit. "And Y/N." Reluctantly, you turn towards him, your hand on the doorknob. "If I were you, I would have stopped ignoring my calls."
"Go to hell." You say it in an equally sweet tone of voice as his.
You smile at him and throw a rose towards him, bowing. Just like Lucy Gray. You smile victoriously and walk out, slamming the door behind you. You're glad you were able to finally throw him out of control and get him angry.
You leave the building with your head proudly held high. But the truth is that even though you try to pretend that you are controlling your situation with Coriolanus, the truth is that you are not. And you are absolutely terrified by it.
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"You look beautiful, Y/N." your sister says as you are walking down the stairs of your house. It was Friday evening, and you were waiting for Coriolanus to come pick you up.
"Thank you, Y/S/N. Revise for the exam?" You ask, walking over to the mirror and putting on your earrings. Your long silver dress hugs your curves perfectly, revealing just enough skin that you don't have to worry about feeling Coriolanus' touch on you.
"Yes. I don't have a handsome boyfriend who would take me to the Capitol Gala. I envy you so much."
"You have nothing to envy, honey. Besides, Coriolanus is not my boyfriend. We broke up." You remind her, maybe a little too harshly judging by the way the younger girl flinches. You sigh and walk over to her with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I just... don't like to remind people about it all the time. Coriolanus and I... we are just friends."
"But you were together at the Hungry Games opening ceremony! All my friends say that you two are a sweet couple and are perfect for each other." She says, adjusting the necklace around your neck, at which you smile fondly. You hug her and place a kiss on the top of her head.
"Sometimes people just… aren't meant to be together. Even if they think otherwise, remember how our parents wanted you to start dating John?" You ask, wrapping one arm around her. She winces and flinches at the memory, making you laugh out loud. You haven't laughed honestly in quite a few weeks.
"Is Coriolanus a self-absorbed idiot? That's why you don't want him?" She asks, comparing him to the boy who courted her.
"No. Not at all. He is... extremely attentive." You say it thoughtfully. And maybe other people would take it as a compliment, but to you... it was a dangerous trait. Alarming. Worrisoming.
"Well, anyway, I hope you have a nice evening. Maybe you two can talk, so he'll stop calling and sending you all this stuff. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to get jewellery from you every other day, but it must be... tiring for you if you don't love him anymore."
You smile at that. She was so… innocent; you, too, once were and believed in love. That's why you were with Coryo. He was gallant, elegant, and handsome. A true gentleman. Until he showed his true side—the side you are now afraid of. He was capable of doing many things to make sure he would get what he wanted. And now he wanted you.
"I want you to be careful..." You say, stroking her braids.
"Of what? Overworked because of studying all night?" She asks teasingly, clearly amused by your serious tone and sudden thoughtfulness.
"Of powerful men." The silence in the room after your words clearly makes your sister anxious, as does your depressed mood.
"Y/N... is everything okay?" You put on a fake smile and hug her one last time before putting your shawl around your arms and grabbing your bag.
"Of course. Don't worry about me. I'm going to have a fun night. Study. I promise it will be worth it." You say, placing a kiss on her forehead, and leave the room and house as you hear the car horn.
"Do you enjoy yourself?" Coriolanus asks, leaning in behind you and whispering in your ear as you stand at the table with alcohol and sweets.
"The champagne is delicious." You turn to look at him, to not have him behind your back, and finish the rest of your drink. You lean on the table, setting the glass down as you look at him carefully. "When can I go back home?"
"Just a few more moments, my petal." He places his hands on your shoulders, massaging them gently. You let him, leaning further into his side and closing your eyes tiredly. "Do you like it?"
"You're a poor masseur, but for lack of better hands…"
"I meant tonight. All those people who fawned over you and looked at you with respect and awe. All these women and men who wanted to fulfil your every little wish... don't you like this feeling of power? Superiority? Knowing that they will do anything to gain your favour?"
"You do it every day around me. This is nothing new." You say it dismissively and turn your back to him, taking a piece of cake from the table and eating it.
"I can stop. And I will stop if you keep pushing me away every time I try to get closer to you, every time I put my hand on your waist, every time I lean in to kiss you, and every time you push my hands away from under your dress. If you continue to insist that you are not mine, I will do things you have never imagined... even in your darkest nightmares."
"What do you want so desperately?" You ask him, irritated, putting the empty plate on the table and looking at him with an angry look as you are sick of whatever game he was playing with you.
"You." He says, taking a step towards you and grabbing your chin. He traces his fingers along your jawline, staring at your lips before returning his gaze to your eyes. "We had a good time together. You won't deny it."
"We had. And then you cheated on me." You remind him, feeling furious and hurt.
"It didn't mean anything. I told you. I'm sorry. I could have told you before it happened, let you know what I had to do… or found another way..."
"It does not matter. I don't want you anymore, Coriolanus." You tell him honestly, as you are fed up with everything that has happened between you over the past few months.
"You will change your mind."
"No. I won't." You shake your head, making his confident demeanour fall. He stares at you coldly, processing a plan in his head as he gently tightens his hand on your wrist.
"You'll do it if you still want to matter here. Do you think that if I win, I'll let you work in the lab on secret government projects? After you broke my heart so savagely in front of the entire Capitol? Do you think your family will still be willingly invited to social parties? That your family will have any future?"
"Are you threatening me?"
"I'm warning you. You can either accept me, become my wife and First Lady, or I will make sure you get kicked out of the lab and sabotage all your research for the rest of your life."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Are you sure?" You stared at each other for a moment. You sigh, angry and frustrated, and shake your head, not believing what's happening. "Let's go outside. You could use some fresh air to calm down." Before you can answer him anything, he leads you outside, his hand on your back and suspiciously close to your ass.
You sigh, feeling the cold air of the Capitol on your hot cheeks. Reluctantly, you take Coriolanus' arm as he leads you deeper into the garden to a more secluded spot.
"You wouldn't have a bad life with me. As my First Lady, you would have everything you wanted. I would fund your research. You could leave Dr. Gaul's lab and build your own, not wait for her to die, so you can inherit her legacy. You could have built your own one."
"No, Coriolanus! You can't bribe me! If you really think that I am shallow enough to agree to marry you and to play according to the illusion you have created in your head, then you are delusional. WE. ARE. DONE."
You turn around and try to get away from him. But before you can, Coriolanus grabs your hand and spins you around, causing you to bump straight into his chest.
Before you can even think about slapping him, he captures your lips with his. You moan even more in shock into his mouth when you feel him place something cold on your finger.
You somehow manage to wriggle out of his grip enough so that his hands and mouth can't reach you. You stare at the ring on your finger in shock. A big fucking diamond that probably glows in the dark and you could gouge out his eyes with if you hit him... which you really wanted to do right now.
"What are you doing?! Corio-mph!" He cuts you off with a kiss before you can get anyone's attention with your scream or really hit him.
You struggle against his grip, your nails digging into his arms, but he just groans and pins you to the tree, ignoring the pain you caused him. Before you can even realise where his hands are, he reaches back and unbuttons your dress. The material slides down to your hips, giving him a perfect view of your bare breasts.
You shiver as you watch him lick his lips and lean down to fuck the skin of your collarbone with kisses, holding your hips in an iron grip as he pins you to the tree. The cold air hits your bare skin, in contrast to Coriolanus's hot breath and tongue.
"I missed you." He whispers in your ear as his hands cup the curve of your breasts and squeeze them.
His touch is everywhere, slithering over you and clinging to you like a snake, wrapping itself around you tenderly and greedily, taking advantage of every opportunity he has. His mouth is as dynamic as his hands, biting at the tender spots of your neck, licking and sucking, marking you as his own when all he can think about is your body, pressed against him.
"I can give you everything. The whole world. For your touch, kiss, and moan when you come around me. All you have to do is accept me, me, and our future. It only takes one yes from you to make you my equal... and it only takes one no from you to make me destroy everything you love and everything you know. I will be the only one you can come to and the only person you will remember. I will destroy you if that is the price of having you, Y/N. I promise you that."
His whispered words against your skin, the hot touch of his tongue in all the right places on your neck, his hands teasing your breasts, and your quick, heavy breaths are distracting. You can't think straight, not when he's stimulating your senses, teasing your nipples, or when he's whispering his dark promises you should've been afraid of.
You come to your senses the moment one of his hands cups your abused breasts and slips under your dress, cupping your pussy. His long fingers tease you through the fabric of your panties, collecting the wetness he caused, and that's when the gravity of the whole situation hits you.
"No. Stop it. Stop! Help!" You scream, trying to push him away, but he covers your mouth with his hand brutally, drowning out any screams. You squeal as he presses his knee against your clothed cunt in an attempt to tease you.
You look at him with wide eyes as you freeze when his knee begins to rub against your most sensitive, wet (to your defeat and disgust) at his attention, part of your body.
"It ends only with me inside you, so you can either be a good girl for me or continue to be a stubborn brat and delay and deny us our pleasure. You have no idea how many times I came just from watching you from afar. You have no idea how much I want, crave, and desire you. I can't think or function normally. I can't create any plans without thinking about how wonderfully this tight pussy felt around me and how I need your soft walls to tighten around me again. So shut up and let me bring pleasure to us both, or try to keep fighting. Your stubborn struggle only excites me more, my petal."
To confirm his words, he presses himself against you, making you feel his hardness pressing through his pants and pressing against your lower abdomen. You breathe quickly, trying to think of a way out of this situation. You were in the fucking garden in the middle of a party—the gala of the year! Someone must have come here. He couldn't have just... taken you here.
"So? Will you finally accept your fate and place by my side, or do I need to break you? And trust me… I'll have even more fun."
His hands move to your hips. He changes your position, pressing you against the tree, his length rubbing through his pants against your clothed and wet core. You are trapped.
You could resist him, and maybe he would let you go... but then what? You and your family will be destroyed in the eyes of the Capitol if he wins and becomes president. You'll be finished, and your whole career will go to hell if you don't do it.
So you sigh, defeated. You close your eyes, place your hands on his shoulders, hold him for balance, and nod your head, surrendering to him.
"Look at me." You reluctantly comply, meeting his icy eyes with yours. His pupils are fully dilated, a faint blush decorates his cheeks, and you see the glint of victory and satisfaction in his eyes as he delights in his prey. You. "I need your words, my little petal." You bite your lip, furious that he's making you beg for him like a bitch in heat. As if he wasn't the one who desperately needed you all this time.
"I... please." You spit out, not looking at him. He grabs your neck in his grip and forces you to meet his gaze as his clothed body presses against your naked one, only in panties, your dress having slipped completely off of you at some point in your... conversation.
"Please what? More conviction and self-confidence, darling. Continue to be my little brat."
"Just fuck me, Coriolanus." You say it angrily, meeting his smug look. He smirks cockily, and in one quick movement, he cups the cheeks of your buttom with his hands and lifts you up, pinning you to the tree with his hips. You moan as he rubs against your clothed pussy and squeezes your ass tightly.
"Gladly." He growls, crashing into your mouth hungrily.
You gasp as he tears your panties in half, the cool night air hitting your exposed, hot womanhood. He moves his mouth to your breasts, sucking hickeys there as he teases your slick folds, making you blush with embarrassment at how wet you were for him.
He's not trying to stretch you or prepare you for taking his thick length after... such a long time of separation. The undoing of his belt and the zipper of his pants are the only warnings you get as you feel the tip of his cock with pre-cum rubbing at your entrance.
As he begins to enter you, you lower your head and bite into his neck, ignoring the collar of his shirt that covers most of his skin. Your saliva soaks his shirt as you moan into his neck.
"You know, I could have fucked you raw the day you thought you could leave me. I guess I should've done that. Put you over my knee for being a brat, give you a few spanks to remind you of your place, and fuck the baby inside you so you can focus on something meaningful. After all, your womb belongs to me, as do all of you. Although I don't know if you'd moan as sweetly and loudly as you do now… What kind of feeling is it? Having someone who you swore you despised wholeheartedly inside you? You take me too well, darling. Your smart, stubborn mouth may call me the worst names, but as long as those wet and tight down there welcome me like home, we both know what the truth is. We both know you want it as much as I do." He says, grunting as he pushes his cock into your tight pussy.
You both moan as he buries himself up to his balls inside you.
He grabs your hair and pulls your face away from his neck, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss as he gives you time to get used to the feeling of him inside you again. You mockingly think to yourself that he's waiting because he's afraid he'll finish too soon.
He fucks a line of kisses along your jaw as he begins to move. You hiss, digging your nails into his shoulders as you hold on to him. You think you've made a few little holes in his shirt with your nails, but that's your last concern now as he pounds into you faster and faster.
You both try to be quiet, trying not to attract anyone's attention, although, judging by the loud music coming from inside the building, it's unlikely that anyone will be looking for you. And hearing your grunts and moans is rather a huge challenge, but still, the last thing you want is for someone to walk into both of us...
"Mine. Only mine." Coriolanus growls into your neck; his thrusts are faster and more precise, making you bite your lip to hold back your moans, but he doesn't let you do it for long. He wants to feel and hear all of you. He wants to revel in his victory. That's why he kisses you, biting your buttom lip to the blood. He pulls away and leans his forehead on yours as he listens to the little sounds you make as he fucks the brain out of you. "Can you feel how deep I am? How well am I filling you? You will be a beautiful First Lady. Fuck. My future First Lady. My future wife. The mother of my children." He moans in your ear. You don't answer; you take ragged breaths, listening to the squelch of your joined bodies echoing around this secluded part of the garden.
You think about everything. About how perfectly he fills you, what a bastard he is, how he drives you crazy with his words and moans and touches and thrusts, and how bad it is that you enjoy having sex with him and despise what he has done. But you have some needs too...
Unfortunately, Coriolanus was the only one who could meet them and satisfy you.
"You were meant for me. Just like I was for you. We are the two sides of the same coin… WE. ARE. UNITY." He growls, making one last few hard pushes into you, making you both cum. He captures your lips in a kiss, muffling both of your screams as you fall apart around him, feeling his warm seed flood your womb.
You shake, wrapping your arms around him tightly, trusting him to hold the weight of both of you as you see nothing but white light in your orgasmic haze. You can't feel your legs, but you know you're still clenching them tightly around him. Your mind is empty; you feel amazing, electric bliss, but it is immediately followed by the realisation of what you have done.
You gave yourself to him. You agree to be engaged to him. The entire Capitol will be watching you. You will have to marry him if he wins the elections.
You're snapped out of your thoughts when he starts to move. But you don't open your eyes. You don't want to see him in his post-orgasmic state. You don't want to see his smug smirk and the twinkle in his eyes. You feel him press a kiss on your temple and slowly pull himself out of you, making you both moan.
You shiver as he sets you on your feet, supporting your waist with his hands. You feel how his seed, and your juices are lazily oozing down your thighs, reminding you of what you agreed to. About your deal with the devil.
You whine, grabbing his wrist in protest as he swipes the excess of your combined cum from your thighs and cunt.
"Don't worry, I know your limits." He says, pulling his hand away from your grip and licking it off. He gives you one of his fingers to suck, which you reluctantly agree to as he stuffs it into your mouth. "Good girl."
"Screw you."
He laughs at your hostility and zips up his pants. He reaches for your dress and helps you get back into it. After he rips your panties, you have to go without them, clearly feeling... the effects of your hot little moment.
"And what now?" You ask him as he puts on his jacket and buttons it, trying his best to hide the bloody marks you left on him.
"We go back to the party, I say goodbye to everyone I need to, and we leave. I have some rings for you to try on in my apartment. The one on your finger is only for a moment. It's big enough for them to notice it and start gossiping. You can choose which one you like more. My bed was also rather lonely and cold without you in it." He suggests, seductively, running a finger along your bare arm as he places the straps of your dress over your shoulders, making sure they don't slide down.
"Don't hope for more moments like this. I can play the doting fiancée in front of the Capitol, but behind closed doors, I'm not going to pretend that you're anything more than a pathetic, cold man who needs affection from someone who despises you with all her heart." You growl and push him away from you. You put your heels back on and take out your lipstick, powder, and mirror from your purse, fixing your appearance.
"It didn't look like you despised me when you cum around my cock just a few minutes ago." He points it out and walks over to you. He fixes his hair and yours and offers you his arm once you fix your makeup. You roll your eyes when you see in the mirror that he has tucked a rose behind your ear. AGAIN.
"Oh, shut up. I'd come around anyone. I haven't had sex in months." You say it angrily and place your hand in the crook of his arm as he leads you back towards the building and to the party.
"Same here." You snort derisively, not believing his confession even for a second.
"As if I could ever trust you again. Besides, you can fuck with Cardew and the others as much as you want. I don't care."
"I prefer to be with you, my little petal. Smile. We'll have company soon." He puts his arm around yours, pulling you closer to him as you walk down the path. In fact, Lucky Flickerman comes around the corner, talking with some women and men. They all giggle. The man stops when he sees the two of you.
"Oh... well... it looks like our future president is a womanizer." Coriolanus grimaces at his last word but is clearly happy that Lucky believes in his victory, so he smiles politely at the man.
"Quite the opposite. We just celebrated our engagement." He announces it proudly, and you hear the rest of Flickerman's company gossiping livelyly, watching you even more closely.
For the first time, you appreciate Coriolanus' strong arm wrapped around your waist. It's rather hard for you to stand after what you two did together a few minutes ago. You're glad you were able to finish before the group left for their walk.
"Oh! Congratulations! You have to come to my new show. People will go crazy when they hear about how Capitol's most popular couple is taking the next step in their relationship! And I think we are all very curious about your beginnings. And the wedding will come soon! I guess right after the election, am I wrong? Oh, it doesn't matter, lovebrids. It is indeed an amazing year for the society of Capitol and Panem."
"We will, Lucretius. Maybe as a presidential couple? Who knows... What do you think about it, my darling? Would you like an interview about us?" Coriolanus turns his head and looks at you questioningly, with mock concern and affection in his eyes. Only you can see how false his act is... or at least you think he is just pretending.
You hear one of the women gushing over the look and the way Coriolanus addresses you. The clever bastard plays the card of a guy who is head over heels in love to gain even more sympathy from society before the elections.
"It would be amazing, honey." You reply with a smile, leaning more into him as Flickerman and the others say how adorable the two of you are.
And you just stand there smiling, playing your part as the happy bride. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Coriolanus stealing glances at you, and you can't help but wonder... is he really that good at acting, or is he serious in his desire for you and your feelings?
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Coriolanus's arm wraps around your waist possessively, like a snake, as the two of you pose for photos. Camera flashes blind you, but you keep a fake smile on your lips.
Several months have passed since your... interaction in the garden. You continued to play his loving fiancée in front of the Capitol, but you remained cold and uncaring towards him. You haven't fucked in the garden since then. You made sure to push and move away from him whenever he got too close to you in private.
Luckily, you didn't have to move into his apartment, and you still lived with your parents. You managed to convince him that moving would be pointless if you were about to move into the presidential palace. You prayed every day that this wouldn't happen.
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice that he turns his head to look at you. You automatically do the same without thinking much about it. And that's your mistake. When you meet his intense gaze of icy blue eyes... you can't look away. You feel like he's holding you tightly by the chin and forcing you to look into his irises... But how can you look away when you see emotions in his eyes that they would never dare admit to you? And judging by the way it sent photographers into a frenzy as they screamed in excitation, you know you're not the only one who saw it.
You still can't figure out if it's just an act or if he actually has feelings for you. Something more than a sick obsession. Maybe you were really starting to have symptoms of Stockholm syndrome?
He pulls you from your thoughts as he leans towards you to tell you something, trying to shout over the crowd around you.
"Are you ready? Shall we go to our seats?"
You nod at him. He takes your hand in his and leads you inside the building, where the official announcement of the results is to take place. The crowd around you whistles in delight as he sees how protectively he treats you and how he guides you through the crowd while making sure you keep up with his pace and don't follow him. He has you beside him, gently distant away—enough for him to be able to cover you in case of any danger.
He leads you to a place of honour next to Dr. Gaul. He kisses you on the cheek and leaves to take his place on the podium in front of the cameras with the other candidates.
"Nice ring." The woman next to you says, a teasing smirk on her lips.
"He would put a collar around my neck with his name on it if he could. I suppose you would help him with that." You snort indignantly and furiously, at which she laughs.
"I can't deny that I'm rooting for you two." You roll your eyes at her and focus your gaze on Lucky, who opens the event.
You know very well that if he becomes president, you will lose everything. All your freedom. You will have to play the role of his devoted wife and mother to his children for the rest of your life. It is true that you will have funds at your disposal to conduct your own research in the laboratory, but will it make you happy? Could you live like that?
"But there can only be one winner…" Lucky's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You and the entire Capitol are waiting for the results. To hear the name of your new president. "And that is CORIIOLANUS SNOW! Ladies and gentlemen, let's salute our president!"
The world is dying around you. People shout and chant the name of Coriolanus; there is a huge noise of applause and joy. You won't leave your seat. You sit there, frozen, realising the harsh truth. Now, nothing can stop him. He can do anything he wants, and you know damn well that he, like all these people, has no boundaries.
"But where is he? Where is our president?" Before you can look around, you feel hands cupping your face as someone pulls you to the left. Coriolanus' lips crash against yours, and you can only moan into his sudden, passionate kiss and let him do whatever he wants. "Oh, yes, that's where he is! Where else could a man be after hearing that he had won? Of course, at the side of his chosen one, his life companion, and his beloved! This is how it should be, my friends! This is who the Capitol has chosen! A man who loves his woman above all else and shares his joys and sorrows with her. That's the real power, my friends. The power of love. Ladies and gentlemen, our president, who is heading right this way, Coriolanus Snow!"
You don't remember what happened next or what speech he made. Strangely enough, consciousness fully returns to you after a few glasses of champagne and wine. You are standing near the bar, away from the large crowd. Coriolanus is already giving another interview when Dr. Gaul approaches you.
"I warned you." She says, and you raise a questioning eyebrow at her. "When you started dating. That there is nothing more dangerous and beneficial to women than powerful men."
"You knew since then?"
"Of course. He is obsessed with power and control. He had his little songbird, but she ran away. Then he met you and you became his new... love interest or obsession. This boy is hard to read sometimes." He tells you as you both look at Coriolanus. Somehow, he feels your eyes on him. He nods at Dr. Gaul and throws you a smirk before his attention returns to the journalist.
"So... it was never true?" You ask, placing your empty glass on the bar.
"I think he cares about you... on his own way." She tells you, which doesn't make you feel any better. You sigh deeply and order a glass of vodka, which you immediately drink. "Oh, don't be so sad. That's life, my child. My husband was just like him. He was a controlling manipulator, but he had one thing that I didn't, the thing that helped me achieve greatness and be where I am now. To be a legend. An icon."
"And what was that?" You ask resignedly, focusing your attention on her.
"Money. A rich and, above all, powerful man is able to do anything if he is madly in love. And Mr. Snow is a perfect example of this. Tell me... how much money has he already put into you? How much did you get in return for the ounce of attention and closeness he so desperately craves? You didn't want to be a whore, but we women have to act like one sometimes."
"There must be another way." You argue, unable to accept such a… cruel truth, but she just laughs bitterly, mockingly.
"There is not. This is the world of men, my child. It is their pride that guides and makes all important decisions. Behind every man, however, there is a woman who... has the strength to overshadow his pride and direct him the way she wants. Unfortunately, you have to seduce him if you want to get what you want. But I know you. And I know you will be able to do it. I know that you, of all people, are the closest to following my path and carrying my legacy."
"I am not like you." You respond quickly, outraged by the ideas she's giving you and her opinion of you.
"Of course not. There are no women or men like me. Besides, you may become the First Lady. The most powerful woman in all of Panem. Take it. Accept his proposal and the ring that you think will be your prison. Use it wisely. To your advantage. It's a chance that not many of us have. Think about it."
You don't have a chance to answer her. Coriolanus approaches you with a huge smile on his face. He places a quick kiss on your cheek and wraps his hand around your waist before turning his full attention to Dr. Gaul.
"Congratulations, Mr. Snow. Or should I say... Mr. President?" She asks him teasingly with a smug, proud smirk. Eventually, her student became president.
"Dr. Gaul, you, of all people, can call me whatever you want." He responds with extreme happiness—a sight that is truly rare. You also think that he is more clingy than usual.
"I shall leave you two to celebrate then, President Snow." She says it with a smile and walks past you, giving you a wink.
You sigh, which doesn't go unnoticed by Coriolanus. He rubs his hand gently over your back and stands in front of you, leaning against the bar.
"We have to go. Photographers and papparazi are dying to take a picture of us both." He says, adjusting the necklace around your neck. You grab his hand and place it against your neck, staring at him from under your eyelashes as you lean towards him and whisper seductively.
"Don't you want to accept my... very warm congratulations first, Mr. President?"
You see that he is surprised by your behavior. He freezes for a moment in shock, looking at you carefully. He licks his lips as his thoughts race, and you casually run your hand over his vest, supposedly straightening it but actually caressing him gently, especially his abdominal muscles through the fabric of his clothes.
"What do you mean?" He asks shakily, swallowing as you intrude even further into his personal space.
"You know what..." You whisper, pressing your leg against his crotch. He hisses, feeling you rub your knee against his cock, which is hardening from your attention. He looks around the room quickly, relieved to see that no one is looking at you.
"Why such a sudden change?" He asks, quickly grabbing your hand that was getting dangerously close to the waistband of his pants as he begins to lead you out of the party and into a more… secluded room.
"There is no change. I still hate you and despise you. But what can I say... I am very drawn to a powerful man, my darling..." You mock him, calling him cute nicknames as he closes the door behind you.
You gasp, surprised, when he pins you immediately against the door. You feel his length press against your hip as he leans over you to whisper in your ear.
"You're going to fall in love with me again. I promise you this, my little petal." And with that, he captures your lips in a passionate kiss, sealing his oath.
And as he pushes his tongue into your mouth, swallowing your moan as his hands roam and tease your pussy with his fingers, preparing you for him, you wonder if even despite your dislike for him, he'll be able to do it. After all, he was a powerful man... but you were an equally powerful woman.
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afterglowkatie · 5 days
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everything will be okay | l.w.
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leah williamson x reader | 1.6k | leah takes care of you after you tear your acl
ˏˋ°•*⁀acl mentions :( i had the base of this written when i was out from basketball for a long time with an injury so it seemed fitting to turn it into a leah fic
Leah couldn’t help but feel bad as she watched you struggle to get around on crutches. She knew how it felt and couldn’t help but feel like she was responsible for you ending up like this. You and Leah were at training, running through your usual drills when you had been running after the ball trying to stop Leah from reaching it when she gave you a little bump. That little bump where you had lost your footing slightly was all it took for a sudden sharp pain to tear through your leg from your knee. You cried out collapsing to the ground while holding your knee. Having gone through this already Leah’s stomach dropped and she was quick to get you help.
Leah was there by your side the entire time, refusing to leave no matter who it was trying to tell her that she didn’t need to be there. You were grateful to have Leah there holding your hand through every scan and test that needed to happen. Leah was there to hold you and wipe away your tears while your heart sunk and the world became a blur when you were told you had torn your acl. Leah kept you grounded
This last year you had seen many of your teammates go through this injury, and with helping Leah through it, you knew how the next year was going to go for you. Though nothing could prepare you for how it actually felt to go through it. It had been about four months since having torn your acl and nothing was getting any easier. You were convinced everything was getting harder, if that was even possible. 
You hated having to rely on those around you, even if they constantly reassured you that it was fine and they were happy to help you. And to top it all off you still hadn’t figured out how to properly use the crutches you were given. Your frustrations towards your injury kept growing but Leah was doing everything she could to take care of you and make sure you were okay. You were sure that she had stopped going out as much and seeing her friends just so she could stay home to take care of you and make sure your recovery went as smoothly as possible. 
It only added to the frustration and guilt you felt. You weren’t used to being so dependent on others. Though you never complained and never wanted to seem ungrateful because you were immensely grateful for Leah’s help. Just by being her and being around you it would make each day so much better. She was the only thing that could bring you happiness in your current state.
Today was another day that drained even more of your already quite low energy and mental strength. Another day of rehab and physio and another week of being told your recovery wasn’t moving along as fast as you had hoped. You knew it wasn’t right but you couldn’t help to compare yourself to the others that had already gone through this. Comparing your recovery to theirs and wondering what more you could be doing to be at the same place they were around this time. 
In your rational mind you knew that everyone’s bodies were different and everyone took different times to repair and recover. It still didn’t stop you from feeling like you were falling behind. Every time your potential return to even just running again got pushed back it took a big toll on you mentally. Afraid everyone was going to give up on you the longer it took for you to recover, afraid that you would get replaced and not have a spot in the team to come back to. It was bound to happen soon that you would also give up on yourself.
‘Here let me,’ Leah got out of the car once you had returned to your apartment, going around to your side to help you out of the car. Taken back when you pushed her hand off of you, not used to you refusing any help.
‘I can do it,’ Your words came out more harsh than anticipated. It was the first time you had spoken to Leah since your session and her training had ended. Leah wasn’t hurt at your tone, just surprised. After all, she knew better than anyone what you were going through. She understood how hard this sort of injury can be mentally, especially on a player at the peak of their career just like you were. Finally having made your way into being a regular in the starting eleven, to have an injury to this extent where you would have to eventually prove yourself worthy of that starting line up once again.
Leah watched as you struggled to get out of the car and inside the apartment, taking a step back knowing a little bit of space is what you needed. Though she desperately wanted to help you and make your life easier. You let out a frustrated groan as you sat on the edge of your bed, haphazardly throwing your crutches down on the floor next to you before dropping your head to rest in your hands.
‘Baby,’ Leah whispered out softly while she slowly approached you, ‘talk to me, please’ Leah was concerned. You could tell and hear the desperation that laced her voice while she gently took your hands in hers and pulled them away from your face. She had been there the whole time, seeing how you had recently started to withdraw from everyone around you. Your arsenal teammates asking Leah how you were doing since they had stopped hearing from you. Leah knew you were struggling. You didn’t want to confide in anyone, feeling like you were already enough of a burden having to rely on someone now.
You knew that Leah understood how you were feeling and it should be easy to confide in her, but somehow that made it all harder for you. You shook your head and closed your eyes tight, refusing to look in front of you. Leah sighed softly, standing up to sit next to you on the bed, wrapping her arms around you and gently pulling you into her side, ‘I’m here for you,’ You didn’t know why but hearing Leah utter those words had you breaking down instantly.
‘Le,’ You cried out softly, tears pricking your eyes as you remembered what you had been told earlier that day, ‘It’s going to take longer than we thought,’ Your voice was barely above a whisper. Dropping your head so it was laying against Leah’s shoulder looking down where she was absentmindedly playing with your fingers. The softness of her hands against yours had started to calm you down, though it didn’t stop the thoughts racing around in your mind, ‘What if I never fully recover. I don’t think I can handle never stepping onto the pitch again, never getting to be back with the team,’ 
‘Oh baby,’ Leah sighed out, a sad smile on her face, thankful that you were finally talking to her about how you were feeling, ‘You’re so strong, stronger than you think. You are going to be okay. Everything will be okay. Don’t think too much about the future and try to take each day as they come,’ 
‘I’m scared, Le. I don’t want to lose all of this. I don’t want to lose the team and I don’t want to lose you,’ Your teammates at arsenal and Leah were some of the most important people in your life. You dedicated most of your life towards football and if it suddenly disappeared from you, you didn’t know what you’d do without it. What good were you to your friends if you couldn’t play again.
‘You won’t lose any of this, any of us. You’re smart babe, if you can’t return as a player I’m sure there will be another way you can still be involved in football,’ Leah smiled while holding you close to her. Her hands giving yours a little squeeze, ‘And you definitely won’t lose me,’ Leah leaned close to give you a small kiss on your cheek, one that had your frown turning into an almost instant small smile.
‘How can you be so sure?’ Turning your head to look up at Leah, feeling your cheeks heat up seeing how softly she was looking at you. Your smile takes over more of your face the longer you both look at each other. Leah was happy to be seeing the smile she loved so much again. 
‘Love, arsenal we’re like a family and you know that. Families don’t just throw each other away just because we’re injured. You aren’t the exception, everyone loves you. Though I obviously love you the most,’ Leah gave you a soft kiss on your lips, ‘You couldn’t get rid of me babes, even if you tried,’ Leah playfully squeezed your sides while you let out a small chuckle at her words already feeling a lot better than you previously had been.
You stayed wrapped in Leah’s embrace, enjoying the way she felt comforting and safe. The day had taken a lot out of you, so much you had forgotten to eat until your stomach loudly reminded you. Leah laughing and lightly poking at your stomach, ‘How does some food sound?’
‘As long as you’re not the one cooking it,’ Leah feigned hurt at your words before you both fell into an uncontrollable laughter. 
‘Don’t worry, I have my personal chef on speed dial,’ Leah held up her phone showing your favourite restaurant's name already up on her screen. You just shook your head at her, burying yourself even more into her side. As long as you had Leah there by your side you felt as though you could more willingly accept the help that Leah and your friends gave you. You’d learn that you aren’t a burden to anyone. And most importantly, no matter where you were at with recovery even if you were to never fully recover, you would be okay. Everything will be okay.
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n0ct0urn1quet · 2 years
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pov talking shit abt my sister in vc when my door is ever so slightly open and she probably heard me so now im all embarrassed to go out into the living room out of fear that she'll be like "so what were u talking about in there"
#i want to move out so bad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it here#peppr i kno ur gonna b online in 2 seconds i am having thoughts and i WILL make a gaypos in a second im just ohgh. OUghhg!#thers a lot of things i did not say in the vc but only because if i said too much my sister 100% woulda came i n n said something but'#anyways i just . oh i am so frustrated. its not kyle he isnt doing anything its just theres people in my House at all Times Now#and after living on our own for over a year my mom n i were used to it just being me n her and me being home alone all the time#but now theres people here and its genuinely fuicking with my mental state!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#its stressful. its just very very stressful#genuinely i kind of want to come n visit u just for a chance to get out of the hosue i Never Leave The House Anymore Ever#but like kitty seems to be doing . better. kitten's still a bitch n he hisses at kitty a lot but kitty seems to be doing alrite which#makes me feel moer comfy about coming to potentially see u sometime but idk it all depends on my mom and....#its. expensive! we may not be able to rly afford it honestly. but my moms making plans t go visit my brother like This Week so idk#maybe something could work out . but idk man#my mom has been moody late ly bc of rob and also because of russ (shes talking to him aain. i dont know why but i can tell that he#has a completely negative affect on her so idk why she's still trying to fucking make things work out. bc its not gonna fucking work out)#but its just . yeah. moms in a bad mood all the time and i dont think shes' gotten more than like3 hours of sleep a night so. great!#thank you robynne for making us go practically fucking broke i hope you move out soon but i fully expect you to be here til next summer.#fucking grow up lmao#anyways! sure hope she doesnt see this but if she does like the last vent i made about her on my other tumblr a few years back : sorry !#anyways im gonna gaypos now <3 i prommy im in a good mood rn i am just . oh she is just frustrating i want to move out SO bad
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prettieinpink · 4 months
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5K SPECIAL | CREATING YOUR OWN GARDEN𝜗𝜚
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This is a guide to make your mind like your own garden flourishing with plants, flowers and butterflies. Having a good mental mindset, and being in the right state of mind is essential to being the best version of yourself.
This guide is divided into four sections: mindset, self-care, mental wellness and emotional intelligence. I hope you can take away something useful and take care of yourself! 💖 
MINDSET
Your mindset can easily determine how you go through life. It influences how you feel, act, behave and your thoughts. When you have a poor mindset, it is going to be difficult to go through life, even if your life is easy. 
However, once we grow and improve our minds, it is easier for us to navigate life, improve our well-being and increase our chances of success. 
Before we get into mindset shifts, I want to explain how exactly you can implement them in your life. I feel like there’s so much talk about mindset, but no one exactly explains on how to implement them. 
IMPLEMENTING 
The first thing to implementing mindset shifts is making a conscious effort to be aware of your thoughts. If you want, practice mindful activities to improve your self-awareness of your thoughts. 
You have to be able to catch a thought in its passing and whoosh it away from your mind. If you don’t whoosh it away, those simple thoughts build each time which can soon turn into the way you think.
Secondly, after increasing your awareness, identify what exactly about your thoughts or mindset you’d like to shift, and what you would like to shift to.
Thirdly, is to completely immerse yourself in that mindset shift. The mind learns through repetition, meaning that repeating it enough will make your mind learn it. 
Set your mindset shift as your weekly intention, say affirmations, and prayer, read books on it, put a quote on your phone as your wallpaper, just make it so that mindset shift is constantly on your mind. 
Lastly, do small actionable things that reinforce that mindset shift. I recommend you do at least one habit every day for this. 
This is not the only method to implement mindset shifts, but for me, it’s the one that is highly effective. I recommend doing some research on your own, and making adjustments when needed depending on how you think. 
MINDSET SHIFTS
This whole part we’ll talk about the mindset shifts I think everyone should at least try to implement in their lives if they want to improve themselves. These mindset shifts are my absolute favourites and they improved the quality of my life. 
After each one, I’ll state a small habit you can incorporate that contributes to that shift. 
Live your life with your highest self in mind. 
This is more intentional living than an actual mindset shift, but still as important. Whatever you do throughout the day, consider if it aligns with your highest self. If not? Release it. Your highest self knows what's best for you, trust them. 
At the end of the day, reflect on your daily habits, which include all habits you did today whether they were ideal or not. What habits aligned with your highest self and which didn’t? The ones that didn’t, why? How can you change or remove this habit to get closer to your highest self?
Rejection is just redirection.
As someone who has gotten rejected from the things that they wanted and felt so lost in the pursuit of fulfilment, this mindset shift saved me. You have to stop chasing the things that aren’t meant for you if life has proved it isn’t.
While I’m not saying give up after the first try, but try to step back and assess the situation. If you are qualified and ready for this thing, then why is it still not yours? Because it isn’t meant for you. God is trying to nudge you into a different path, recognise his signs. 
To handle rejection better, look for the lesson(s) you’ve learnt, and the skills you grew and see if there is another area of life that you can apply them to. 
Keep yourself on a pedestal.
I am worthy so much to me. It sounds like a weird sentence, but you should start treating yourself like a treasure and avoid giving out that same treatment to most people because you have your soul, which homes itself in your body. Every day, you are living through this soul and body. 
So, why would you take care of someone else’s soul and body? You are never going to be the soul that lives in their body, or the body which homes their soul. Don’t neglect yourself in the priority of someone else. 
Practice setting boundaries with others and recognising when someone wants more than what you’re willing. 
You choose the life that you want.
You have choices and options every day to do things that will eventually have an outcome. Whether this outcome supports the vision of your dream life or not, all depends on how you choose to live your life now.  
I don’t have a habit with this one but keep in mind that absolutely nothing is controlling you, and your choices are of free will. Circumstances can change, but that is why we have to adapt and be flexible.
Fear is a step to success
If you’re not scared, you’re not doing it right. Fear can hold us back, but that is why we have to twist fear into a source of motivation instead. If we were always in our comfort zone, stepping back when we feel a sliver of fear, we allow fear to dictate our life and its course. 
You can’t be successful unless you do the uncomfortable. For this one, do something each day that scares you or makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, but simple things like exercising longer than usual or talking to someone who you wouldn’t imagine yourself with. Those little risks are so important. 
Embarrassment is not a real emotion 
This one is a bit controversial, but I do not believe in the concept of embarrassment. Yes, things can sometimes be awkward, but it is fully in your control if you want to feel ashamed or not. Being embarrassed only holds you back, and doesn’t allow you to live life to its fullest. 
I would recommend doing a small risk every day as well, but of things that would usually feel awkward. 
Progress over perfection/completion
Perfectionism which is allowed to be nurtured over time can create an avoidance mindset towards doing harder things in life. While we should strive for excellence in everything we do, we shouldn’t allow it to consume us. 
(the avoidance mindset is when we put off/avoid tasks that we believe to be out of our abilities, and so that completion of the task is poor quality/not done well.) 
This one is less common, but I know a few people who would not do a task if they knew it would not be fully completed in their desired time frame. However, each minute of work contributes to the results or completion of something. 
Every day, do one thing that will add up to the completion of your long-term goals. 
To welcome tomorrow, you have to let go of yesterday. 
Living in the past makes us neglect our present self. I’m not saying forget everything that’s happened, but never allow the past to consume your mind. Acknowledge that you’ve been hurt, you’re longing or you were happier. Then, release it. 
Journaling is the perfect way to stay in touch with the present. You can type it, write it, vlog, draw, or compose to journal. 
Everyone has their beauty.
This one helped me a lot with comparison. I saw beauty, not as a measure or a value of someone, but rather something that everyone has uniquely and it cannot be valued. I have my sense of beauty, and you have your beauty as well. We are two different people with unique features, traits and qualities, so our ‘beauty’ can’t be measured against each other. 
Define your beauty. You could be smart, feminine, book beauty or dark, flowers, creative beauty. You add your details to your beauty and never try to define someone else's. 
To conclude this section, your mindset is very powerful. To achieve your goals, work on your mindset. Also, don’t try to work on more than one mindset shift at a time. Implement one fully then work on the next one. It could be overwhelming if you’re doing more than one. 
SELF-CARE
The next chapter of this guide is about self-care. Self-care is important for maintaining balance in our lives and generally keeping ourselves happy. However, most people don’t understand the concept of self-care, so they just end up doing a bunch of random things and wondering why they don’t feel better.
Yes, you can coddle or pamper yourself when you want, but it is not self-care. While activities from these three things do overlap, do not confuse the terms with each other. 
Self-care is simply what it says. Taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself looks different for everyone. My idea of self-care will be different to yours.
REDEFINING SELF-CARE.
When you imagine what self-care looks like, it’s typically someone else’s definition of self-care which has been reinforced in your mind. You have to redefine your idea of self-care to match your goals, energy levels and circumstances. 
Before you do, self-care is not always about taking a break. It seems that way, however, self-care can also be having the discipline to do the things that you don’t want to, but are good for you. 
Here are some questions to help you redefine your self-care:
What does self-care mean to you? Does that meaning align with your current values and needs? 
Do you have any negative associations or misconceptions of self-care? Why?
How do I feel in all areas of my life? (physically, mentally, spiritually, professionally). What areas need more attention and how can I improve that area(s)?
What activities bring me happiness, fulfilment and a sense of renewal? 
What tasks do I have to do, which are good for me but I hesitate in completing that task?
How would I like to feel after complementing my self-care rituals? 
Envision your life if it had complete balance and self-care incorporated. What habits would you be doing to support that vision? 
My idea of self-care is completing all of my non-negotiables, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, taking somewhat productive breaks and talking to others daily. 
THE SEVEN PILLARS OF SELF-CARE 
Self-care has seven pillars, which you all need to take care of to have a balanced life. However, balanced self-care does not mean equal attention to each pillar. It means that each one is up to the same standard of self-care you’ve put for yourself. So, you need to allocate your attention appropriately. 
MAJOR PILLARS 
Physical - The well-being of your body. 
Mental - The state of your mental health, mind and emotions. 
Spiritual - The strengthening of your relationship with God while nourishing your holy spirit. 
Personal - Doing things that bring you enjoyment and fulfilment + embracing your identity.
MINOR PILLARS
Social - Connecting with friends, family or even strangers.
Professional - Your work/school life. 
Environment - Keeping your space clean and extracting anything that holds you back. 
Major and minor do not add or take away the value each category has, it just means that major pillars may need more attention compared to the minor ones which may need less attention. Of course, you may need to focus more on a minor pillar, as self-care is individual to you. 
I would’ve added a list of things that you could do for each category, but I want you to think about what you need for each instead of relying on strangers with different lives for self-care. 
Maybe you need to focus on exercising and doing your hobbies more. Or you need to create a better work/life balance for yourself. It all depends on your values, needs and circumstances. 
MENTAL WELLNESS
Mental wellness is the state of our cognitive, emotional and psychological functioning. When we are mentally well, we can cope better with challenges, develop a habit of having positive thoughts, and greater happiness and improve most areas of our lives overall.
There are a lot of things that contribute to our mental wellness, and I most likely won’t have everything here. Just a little disclaimer as well, it is completely normal to have a fluctuating mental state especially when we are going through unfavourable change. 
DIGITAL MINDFULNESS
Social media is a huge part of our lives but is also the main factor of mental destruction. I’m not going to say delete all of your social media, but I want to introduce to you a few ways to mindfully consume and rules with managing screen time. 
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION
To consume content mindfully, go onto apps intentionally and know what your purpose is when using that app. For example, if you want to find new habits that you can do, you could search on Tumblr or if you want a quick break from something stressful you can watch an episode of something on Netflix. 
It doesn’t matter what the purpose exactly is, but the action of being intentional. 
After you consume what you want, download images, and screenshots, and take notes or any documentation of what you found/learnt. This is more so the information is remembered/used. 
Manage your notifications. You do not need notifications from every app. Except for messages and phones, I do not put notifications on my device. I believe that if something is important enough, I’ll remember to check my phone later without the help of a notification. 
Only consume quality content. It is so easy to consume content that has obviously been reposted or is blatantly spreading misinformation. Only consume from people who you trust and you’ve followed/subscribed to. While yes, you can explore but be very mindful when doing so.
You should be decluttering, organising and deleting on your devices routinely.  This reduces the amount of distractions on your phone and makes it more intentional. Only keep the things that align with your needs, values and goals. 
DIGITAL BOUNDARIES
Have rooms or zones in the house in which you’re not allowed to use any devices or the devices you choose. For example, the bed, bathroom, office, when you’re eating at the dining table, etc. 
An alternative is having a period of a day when device usage is not allowed. It could be right after you wake up, right before you go to sleep or just in the middle of the day. Either, I recommend you have a time or place in which device usage is not allowed.
While I encourage everyone to keep up with socialising with their loved ones and friends, I don’t support dropping everything just to talk to someone. E.g If somebody wants to text while you’re in the middle of a study sesh, just say you’ll talk later. 
MANAGING STRESS
Stress is an unwelcome yet common feeling we all have. No matter what’s on your plate, we tend to stress a lot, especially in a society that is going so fast and makes us feel like we’re falling behind. 
To manage stress, you need to be self-aware of when you feel stressed. A lot of people actually can’t recognise when they feel stressed, and I am one of those people. Instead, I rely on mental or physical signs that tell me I’m feeling stressed out. 
SIGNS OF STRESS
Unusual lack of motivation or discipline
Feeling tired constantly even if haven’t done anything exhausting
Inconvenience impacts you more
Overthinking about small things
Trouble with sleeping
Low appetite
Focusing is harder
Crying or feeling tearful over small things
This is not the complete list of symptoms, but these are the things I feel/do when I feel stressed. Stress will look different for everyone, so you need to be able to create your own list of signs when you feel stressed. 
CREATING A STRESS MANAGEMENT PLAN
Creating a plan helps you to be prepared to effectively address and cope with stress. It allows you to be more productive and improves mental health when you use this plan when needed. 
Here are a few steps to creating your own!
Identify stress triggers. What do you dread the most? What makes you feel drained? What do you overthink about? Answer these questions to figure out what triggers your stress.
Assess your coping strategies. Notice if you have any ways of coping that are self-destructive, as this only contributes to your stress. 
Choose 1-3 activities that are fun to you and are not self-destructive. These activities do not have to be productive or beneficial, but they have to make you feel relaxed and generally feel better
Choose one relaxation technique and one self-care activity. These are up to you, as we tend to neglect self-care relaxation when we’re stressed. 
Optional, but have one person who you can talk to when you’re stressed. When we are stressed, we tend to look at the smaller picture but talking to someone else helps us gain a greater perspective on the matter. 
PRETTIEINPINK’S EXAMPLE PLAN
(If doing something that is my stress trigger, slot a time in the day to do my plan.)
Journal about why I’m stressed 
Make a cup of strawberry and mango tea
Read a nice story while drinking tea
Guided stress meditation
Eat some fruits 
Another thing when creating you plan to not restrict yourself using time. Allow yourself to take as much time as needed to alleviate yourself of stress. 
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 
Being emotionally intelligent is a skill. It is the ability to understand, process and communicate emotions effectively. 
There are times when we do sometimes let our emotions take over and they dictate our actions, thoughts and words. This is why we need to build this skill, to get that control over our emotions back. 
Thinking before you speak is an oldie but goodie. What we say can drastically influence the current situation for better or for worse. If you think that what you might say is rude, offensive or crude, don’t say it at all. 
Also, stay quiet! I am all for standing up for yourself when being disrespected, but you need to recognise when someone is trying to rile you up... They WANT a reaction out of you. Most likely to use against you. Silently exit the situation instead. 
If you are someone who gets a lot of energy from big emotions like anger, dejection, sadness, and jealousy, try to channel that energy into something that requires you to have a lot of energy and is beneficial to you. Keeping that energy in until you blow up is a no-no.
Not everyone is trying to hold you back with ill intent. People’s previous experiences can influence the advice they give to you because they have your best interest at heart. They know that their method worked, which is why they’re advising it. These types of people don’t understand that there is more than one way, but they still love you.
Avoid prolonging emotions. When you’re sad, don’t listen to depressing music. When you’re angry, don’t consume ragefuel. It’s very easy in this age of consuming to amplify therefore prolonging emotions, but it holds us back. Process it, and move on.
Stop acting on a whim. Go where your heart takes you, but reflect on it and create a plan. When you do, you end up in unfavourable circumstances. The most common one is working so hard to get to a certain point, only to realise that you don’t even like it. This is why reflection is important. 
Be kind even when you’re not receiving it. Kindness is only kind when we do it out of pure love instead of personal gain. Stop expecting people to be kind to you after you’ve been kind to them. Kindness is a debt-free action.
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linawritestwst · 7 months
Text
him taking care of you + you taking care of him (gn!reader)
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(divider link)
characters: riddle rosehearts, ruggie bucchi, jamil viper, epel felmier, lilia vanrouge, silver, neige leblanche, rollo flamme.
genre: fluff, hurt/comfort
warnings: none
hi hi!! so, uh, yeah, i'm trying to write something for this blog again. i don't think i'll open my requests anytime soon tbh, i kinda want to focus on writing self-indulgent stuff rn.
so yeah, hope you enjoy these! <3 i've tried to make them as soft and cute as possible.
riddle rosehearts.
him taking care of you:
♡ riddle is a busy man, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or that he doesn't have any time for you at all. he loves you and if he could, he would spend as much time with you as possible, but.. you know how responsible and strict he is. but again, it doesn't mean that he cares about the queen of hearts' rules more than you.. t-though it may seem like that sometimes.
♡ if he notices that you're not feeling well, like for example, maybe you're sick, he will worry about you a lot. maybe it's not that noticeable to you, but everyone else can see just how much riddle cares about you and wants you to get better. if riddle has a lot of work to do and he can't check up on you, he may ask trey for help, since he's his vice dorm leader, though he will feel terrible about it: riddle would much rather do all of that himself. he knows that maybe it'd be a more logical decision to send trey to take care of you while he tries to do everything as fast as he can so that he can visit you later, but for some reason.. no, it's obvious that riddle really wants to be there for you. 
♡ if you're not doing well mentally, even though riddle is not good at giving emotional support and understanding other people's feelings, he still wants to be there and support you. if there's something bothering you, he will listen and he will try his best to come up with the best way to solve your problem. he prefers to think about such things logically and if the voices in your head are being too loud and mean, maybe his voice can help you feel a bit lighter.
you taking care of him:
♡ riddle tries his best to work on his temper, he really does. but of course, he still can't control his anger sometimes. maybe it's because of someone breaking a rule again. maybe it's because of his mother hurting him with her words again. maybe it's because everything is just.. too much for him and he feels overwhelmed even though he'd rather deny it and say that he's fine, because what else could you possibly expect from a dorm leader? and when that happens, you are here to gently calm him down or let him express his frustration and anger, it really depends on what would be better for him at the moment.
♡ if it's the first one, you hold riddle in your arms and softly tell him to take deep breaths, in and out. you slowly pat his head as he does so and you can feel just how fast his heart is beating. his face starts feeling a bit less hot, he finally remembers where he is and what's going on and his anger goes away, even if it's just for a moment. and if it does come back, you still stay with him no matter what. you know that riddle doesn't want to hurt you and if he mentions feeling ashamed and being afraid of doing something bad to you in this state, you hold his hand and tell him that you trust him.  
♡ if it's the second one, you and riddle go to his room and you just let him do whatever he needs to let his feelings out. of course, there are some limits and exceptions and you make sure riddle doesn't accidentally hurt himself in the process or hurt anyone that dares to come in. when he finally feels a bit calmer and looks around while breathing heavily and trying to process everything, you ask him what he needs right now. does he want to be left alone? does he want you to hug him? you make sure riddle feels safe and doesn't worry about anything. if he broke something in the process.. well, he can probably just use magic to fix it, right?
ruggie bucchi.
him taking care of you:
♡ if you ever say that you feel like a burden to him, ruggie doesn't want to hear it. why? because he would always choose taking care of you over doing stuff for leona. he doesn't care about you not looking perfect today and he won't care about it tomorrow or any other day. when he hears about what you're going through, you blaming yourself for not having any energy to get out of bed or take care of your appearance, sounds so.. weird to him. how can you still say that you're the one in the wrong in this situation? he just sighs, shakes his head and ruffles your hair while saying that you should be grateful for him being here for you. he's not being serious, of course. 
♡ if you don't have any energy to do chores or you're sick, he's totally okay with doing them for you. if you say anything about feeling guilty or if he hears you trying to offer your help, he doesn't let you finish. he's doing it not because he's your servant or because he owes you something. he just loves you a lot and wants you to know that. and if making your day a little bit easier is what he can do to show his love for you, he's more than okay with doing exactly that.
♡ he can't say that he's good at giving advice or understanding other people's emotions or anything like that, but if you need to vent, go on, he'll listen. he will nod, he will act surprised, he will make funny (and not really) comments, because even if he doesn't know how to solve your problem and even if he doesn't know how to show that he cares, he wants you to know that at times like these, you can still ask him for help and support. you've saved him so many times before and you don't even know about it. let him do the same for you just as many times as you did.
you taking care of him:
♡ ruggie may act like he has a lot of requests and that he can never be satisfied, but actually, he doesn't need as much as he likes to say he does. you buying him some donuts or giving him headpats always does the trick. you still love spoiling him though and if he's tired, you're always okay with letting him lie on your lap and talk to you or just take a nap, if he wants. you like buying him gifts even if he doesn't ask for anything, you love to see his reactions too much. he always gets shocked at first, but then he gets so excited, you can't help but smile because of how cute he is.
♡ you always notice if something is wrong and if ruggie is not feeling so good, you're always there to ask what happened and help him in any way you can. honestly, you're so good at noticing him try to hide his feelings, it scares him actually. he wishes he was better at fooling you and making you believe that everything is alright, but.. of course, ruggie has his problems too. of course, his life is hard too. but you being there to listen or to just give him the tightest and warmest hug that you can give him is everything that he needs at moments like these.
♡ if ruggie needs to let his feelings out, you'll be there and support him. you'll listen to everything he has to say. if he tries to laugh it off or says that it's actually not that serious, you give him the look that lets him know that you won't let him run away so easily and he has no choice but to admit that he's been not doing great. even if it's just him being tired from running around and doing errands, you still listen to his every word and make sure ruggie knows that you care. because you know that even something as small as this can make ruggie's day or maybe his entire week.
jamil viper.
him taking care of you:
♡ jamil knows how hard it can be sometimes, so if you're having any problems, if you're going through something really bad, you can rely on him. no, you are not being annoying, that's kalim's job. you can just sit down and talk about everything that's been going on while he makes you some warm tea, but still listens to you and nods and tells you to continue. even if you cry, even if you show how angry you are, he'll listen. if you can't hold back your tears, he will hold you as you cry while telling you that it's okay. and no, he doesn't mean it in a "everything will be okay" kind of way. he can't make promises like that. but he means it in a "it's okay for you to cry and be honest with me and show your vulnerable side to me because i promise that i won't hurt you and i won't betray you" kind of way.
♡ and he really does mean it. sure, jamil is.. u-uh, not perfect. but when he says that he will never betray you, that he will never stab you in the back, that he will never use you, he means it. when it comes to doing those things to other people to protect you though- okay, okay, fine, he'll stop himself there. however, he still often feels like he has to hide some things from you because he doesn't want to worry you or make you feel sad. but he still expects you to always tell him if you need his help or if you've been struggling lately. yes, he knows it's selfish. please forgive him for that.
♡ jamil is very patient with you. you're not a burden to him. you're not a nuisance. if you think he's being too quiet while you vent to him, it's not because he doesn't care, but because he wants to let you express your feelings, because he knows how often you tend to bottle them up. your every word matters to him and he wants to hear about everything that's been bothering you. he'll try his best to come up with a solution and give you some kind of advice. if he can't do that, well.. maybe he can at least keep you company, if you're okay with that?
you taking care of him:
♡ you know that jamil can get so, so tired of everything. and you can't even blame him. you understand him so well. so you just want to be there for him when things get rough. when he feels like he can't control his feelings anymore, when he's tired of pretending like everything's fine, when he feels like nobody will ever notice or truly appreciate his efforts, you gently put your hand on his shoulder and remind him that you care. if no one else does, at least you care. and that's already enough for him, because you are the most precious person in this world to him.
♡ jamil doesn't even have to say anything. if he doesn't have the energy for that, you're completely fine with it. you can just sit next to him with your head on his shoulder and you both don't have to talk. this silence isn't scary, it isn't weird, it isn't uncomfortable. and if he wants to talk about his feelings, you'd love to hear it. he can talk about whatever he wants as you carefully unbraid his hair and nod and react to everything. he doesn't have to apologize for his ranting, it's just him expressing his feelings and why should he be sorry for that?
♡ if jamil is angry, you'll let him be angry. if jamil is sad, you'll let him be sad. he never has to pretend to be someone else when he's with you. he doesn't have to pretend that he's better than he is. and he doesn't have to pretend that he's worse. you still love him no matter what. simply because jamil is.. jamil. and you don't need him to be anyone else. if he doesn't want to do anything special or productive today, that's fine. if he kinda wants to show off and impress you, that's also fine. and even though, of course, you want jamil to be happy, it doesn't mean that you stop loving him when he shows a negative emotion. because that's still him. and you love him. 
epel felmier.
him taking care of you:
♡ oh? you don't feel so good?.. okay, who should he punch for making you feel bad? hm? it's not someone else's fault?.. o-okay then. epel is not exactly an expert when it comes to mental health problems, but if you just need him to be there and support you, he'll be more than happy to do just that. if you have the energy for it, you two can take a walk and just enjoy the sunlight, the warmth or the cool breeze, depending on the weather. you two can lie on the ground and just watch the clouds as epel points at some of them and tells you what they remind him of. you don't have to say anything, if you don't want to. but epel still hopes that you will let him know if he's doing a good job. 
♡ you know what, he doesn't care what vil has planned for today. you're not feeling good? it's your day now. epel will literally figh his dorm leader if he has to. he just wants to spend this day with you, trying to cheer you up and nothing and nobody will stand in his way.. at least he hopes so. he's okay with doing anything you want. you don't feel like leaving your room? that's fine, he'll bring some snacks and you two can just chill while he's hugging you. you don't feel loved enough? he'll shower your whole face in kisses and will hug you as tight as he can. you don't have the energy to do anything? that's fine, stuff like that happens. just tell him if you need anything. 
♡ i imagine epel to be a very physically affectionate type of person when it comes to people he loves, so be ready for many hugs, cuddles and kisses. he just has so much love for you inside and he has to express it somehow, otherwise he'll.. uh, explode or something, haha. but seriously, he wants you to feel as safe and comfortable with him as he does when he's with you. with you, epel feels like he can actually be himself, like you won't judge him and you don't have any high expectations for him. so please, let him repay everything that you've done for him. no matter how tired, sick, sad or angry you are, he still wants to be with you and tell you that those feelings are valid.
you taking care of him:
♡ epel doesn't really like admitting that he's not doing good. i mean.. isn't talking about your feelings kind of.. like, won't he look weak- okay, okay, stop pinching his cheeks, he understands, feelings and emotions have no gender, he gets it. fine, he'll be more open about it.. but only if you hug him, give him a kiss and tell him that everything will be alright! also, give him a lot of compliments. he really needs them. tell him that he's strong, tell him that he's the best boyfriend you could ever wish for, tell him just how happy he makes you. even if those compliments don't sound that special, they mean the world to him. 
♡ every single word you say means so much to him. even if it's just you telling him that he did a good job, when he's with others, he will blush and politely thank you, and when it's just you two, he will tease you about it and ask you to do it again, but you have no idea how many times he will repeat those words in his head during the day and before he goes to sleep. and if you hug him, hold his hand or kiss him, it will be even harder for him to stop thinking about it. 
♡ if he's suddenly being clingy or asking for affection for (seemingly) no reason, you can take it as a sign that something is wrong. also take it as a sign to give epel what he needs. kiss him on the forehead. hold his hands as tight as you can. give him the warmest hug that you ever gave him. even if he pretends that he actually doesn't like it or that you're being way too affectionate, don't stop. don't listen to him. give him even more attention actually. and of course, asking him what happened is good too. let him talk. let him rant about how annoying vil is, how tired he is of pomefiore or just whatever is going on in his life. he'll thank you later.
lilia vanrouge.
him taking care of you:
♡ OHHHHH HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE WILL. THIS IS A THREAT BTW. this man sees that you're not doing great and he asks you "what's wrong honey :( no, no, don't scream, this is just me-" as he's hanging from the ceiling as usual. if he sees that you're sick or just really, really tired, that's it, you will spend the whole day in your bed with as many blankets as you want. you have no choice. you need some warm tea/coffee/milk/anything else? he will bring it to you, just tell him. oh, he can also cook for you, if you want- oh, you're not hungry. oh. oh okay.
♡ but lilia really does make sure you don't waste your energy on things that he can help you with. if you don't feel like you can stand up to get something, just ask him for help and he will bring it to you. you actually don't even have to tell him anything. somehow he just knows what you need even if you don't say a word. he will fix your pillow if you don't feel like it's comfortable, he will bring you another blanket if you still feel cold and if you're sick, he will bring you the medicine you need. if you're having trouble falling asleep, he's always happy to sing you a lullaby and calm you down with his voice.
♡ if you say anything about feeling like a burden to him, he will stop you before you say anything else. he wants you to know that being able to take care of you makes him so happy because he can show you just how much he loves you and he can give you all the love you gave to him. you just can't be a burden to him because he loves helping you and he loves being there for you. you're not too much. and you're not too little. it doesn't matter how weak you think you are, because lilia will give you all the strength you need to go through the day simply because he loves you.
you taking care of him:
♡ you know that lilia's memory is not that good because of him being older than he looks, so you make sure to leave lots of notes for him in case he forgets something. and he appreciates it greatly. he loves seeing those notes because it's your handwriting!! he doesn't care how messy or how imperfect it is. it's yours and that's enough to make him happy. they're always so cute too! you also like to tease lilia about having to help him walk somewhere while calling him a grandpa and he laughs and plays along. you two literally look like the "sure grandma let's get you to bed" meme when you do that.
♡ on a more serious note, you also remind lilia that he really is a good father to silver. he's doing a great job actually. silver loves him just as much as lilia loves him, if not more. and lilia is a good person. why? well, he just has to take a look around. he just has to look at malleus, silver and sebek. lilia is an extremely important person to them and for a good reason. he plays such a big role in the diasomnia family and it's hard to imagine what could've happened to these boys if he wasn't there to guide them and support them. and he's doing the same thing for you now. and you feel loved and cared for when he's around. you're sure those boys feel the same way.
♡ you have so much love inside your heart and you will give it all to lilia if he needs it. if he feels like he's not good enough, if he feels like he's not doing enough, if he feels like he hasn't changed for the better, you will be there to tell him that he is so much better than he thinks he is. he has saved so many people, including you. maybe he's just so used to doing stuff like that that he doesn't even notice it and doesn't think too much about it. but lilia has changed so many people's lives. and you're here to change his life too. hopefully, for the better.
silver.
him taking care of you:
♡ silver loves you so much and he wants you to know that. even if he's slow, even if he falls asleep at the worst possible timing, even if he gets tired easily, he still wants to be able to protect you and help you with anything you need help with. just tell him or explain it to him and he will nod and immediately try his best to do it. he would do anything for you and he means it. maybe he's not that good with words and he's a little quiet, but he really will try so hard to express his feelings properly. if you're sick, he will get you anything you might need. if you're tired, he will help you with doing anything you don't have the energy to do yourself. he just wants to help you, please, let him do so.
♡ if he sees you falling asleep while doing something, he will gently carry you in his arms to your bed or the nearest couch and he will cover you with a blanket, making sure you don't get cold. he will softly get your hair out of your face and make sure you're comfortable before smiling at you (and not even noticing it) and sitting down somewhere so that he can watch you (not in a creepy way though! he just wants to make sure you're safe!). a-ah, he can fall asleep too though.. b-but he'll try his best to stay awake! he won't let anything bad happen to you, he promises. 
♡ please don't think that silver sees you as someone weak and fragile because he's so worried about your safety. he just loves you a lot and.. and he doesn't want to lose you. you're so precious and so important to him and he doesn't know how to express it and what to do with his feelings because they're so new to him, so.. just tell him if he's being annoying or too overprotective, okay? he respects your boundaries and if you think he's overstepping, let him know, he would never want to hurt you. 
you taking care of him:
♡ you don't find silver's sleepiness to be annoying at all. if anything, you'd say that it's kinda cute, but you totally understand why silver would worry so much because of it. you just want him to know that you still love him and that you would never hate him for falling asleep while you talk to him or anything like that. if silver has trouble waking up in the morning, you can just come to his room and wake him up if he wants, haha. o-oh, he would actually love that? okay then, you will be the first thing he sees in the morning from now on.
♡ if silver is blaming himself for his sleepiness and calling himself lazy, you will stop him before he says more bad stuff about himself. you can't just let your boyfriend do that. you know how hardworking, brave, strong and responsible silver is, there are just some things that he can't control and that's okay, that's normal, he just has to accept it no matter how painful, scary and frustrating that might be. if he needs to talk about it, you'll be there to listen. he always was there for you to listen to you talk about the things you love, talk about your day or just rant about stuff, now it's your turn to do the same for him.
♡ you're just as patient with silver as he is patient with you. and you know that even if he's a knight in training, he also needs and deserves to be protected. if you see anyone (subtly or not so) making fun of silver, you won't hesitate to call them out or even try to fight them. you also don't let people take advantage of him taking things a bit too literally and kind of living in his own world and being a more quiet and introverted person. this man is a knight, but he's still soft and gentle and deserves to be taken care of.
neige leblanche.
him taking care of you:
♡ this boy will do anything to make you happy!! he might have a busy schedule and he might have lots and lots of fans following him around everywhere, but you're still so, so important to him! just tell him what you need, okay? if you feel like you need more physical affection, he will give you as many hugs and kisses as you want. if you feel like you need some distraction from your problems, you two can go on a nice date to any place you want. or you can just leave the choice to neige if you don't know where you want to go! though he will still talk to you about it first, because even though making it a surprise sounds nice in theory, he still wants to make sure you're okay with it. and if you just need to spend some time with your boyfriend in silence, he will be more than happy to just sit with you while hugging you and not even saying anything. just being here with you is enough.
♡ if you're too tired and/or sleepy, he will get you the softest and warmest blanket and if you want, he can sing you something to help you fall asleep, again, just tell him. oh, he can also bring you a stuffed animal, if you want! if you want to cuddle, he's all for it too. he just wants you to feel safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep without any worries. even if you still have something to do, even if there's still too many dark thoughts in your head, neige just hopes he can help you forget about it at least for a moment. you getting rest is more important right now.
♡ neige would never let you think that his job is more important to him or that he loves his fans more than you. it's true, he really does love his fans no matter what and he's passionate about acting and modelling, but you are still that person that he cares about the most. there are so many things and people in this life that he loves, but to be honest, he'd probably be okay with losing some of them, but you are definitely not one of them. so let him express his love for you, okay? you deserve it. no matter how much you think you're not enough for neige, you deserve it.
you taking care of him:
♡ neige gives you so much love and affection, sometimes you feel like you don't give him enough of it back. so when you and neige can finally spend some time together, you give him as many hugs and kisses as you can and it's hard for you to let him go even for a moment. you just missed him so much.. the way you spend time together depends on how high neige's energy level is at the moment and yours as well. if it's been a long day of filming and no matter how much neige tries to hide it, his smile looks a little bit tired, you two can just spend the evening lying on the couch and talking about whatever comes to mind. and if both of you feel like it, you can try to bake something together or just dance together in your bedroom. 
♡ even if neige looks fine, you can still tell if something is bothering him and you encourage him to be more honest about it. he doesn't have to pretend that everything is fine, he doesn't have to smile all the time, at least he can be honest with you. you agree that neige is insanely talented and that he deserves all his popularity, but you love him not only for that, you love him for what kind of person he is. and he doesn't have to continue acting when it's just you two. so even if it's something small and not that serious, he can tell you. you two can just laugh about it later or actually try to solve that problem together. 
♡ if you find out that some fans of his have been acting weird in some way, like maybe they've been asking him if he has a s/o way too many times or even if they've been stalking him, you won't hesitate to do something about it. you will try to go and meet them in person, if you have to. you try not to let neige know about it because you don't want him to worry and because you know that he can be a little bit.. he forgives his fans too easily. you think him loving them so much is admirable, but also, you just really want him to be safe. you want to protect him. you know that some fans just.. don't know what privacy and personal space is. 
rollo flamme.
him taking care of you: 
♡ even if rollo may seem like a cold and emotionless person to some people, you know very well that it's not true at all and that he cares so much. if he sees that you're even a little bit tired, he will gently (but firmly) ask you to take a break. if you want, he can help you with whatever you're working on once he's free. as a student council president, he knows what it's like to have a lot of things to do and feel like you have to finish all of it as soon as you can, but it doesn't mean that he will let you overwork yourself. and if you're the opposite and you tend to procrastinate very often or you can be very forgetful, rollo will remind you that you have things to do and will try to motivate you to do them. most of the time it's just him saying that those things are important and you will most likely regret not doing them earlier- n-no, y/n, a kiss is not a proper way to motivate someone.
♡ rollo is not really good with words, it's true that he is good at things like public speaking and stuff like that or manipulating people into thinking that he's a totally normal person who is not planning to steal their magic but it's fine it's whatever, but when it comes to having actual genuine conversations, he is.. not sure what to do. however, if he notices that you're not doing good mentally, you can always tell him what's on your mind. he won't insist on it though and he thinks you should tell him about it only if you're comfortable with it. but if you do, you can trust him, he will listen to you very carefully and will never interrupt. 
♡ rollo isn't really the type to give you emotional support, but i also can't say that he's the member of the "would rather give you an advice/suggest ways to solve your problem" gang. he's more subtle about it. you know what? he'd rather solve your problem himself. or at least try to make it feel easier and not as overwhelming and tiring. you feel like your schedule is a mess and you don't have time to do anything? he will come up with different ways for you to organize everything and when you wake up, you will already have multiple different new schedules for you to choose from lying on your desk. wait, does that mean he has talked to the people who gave you so much work and- actually, maybe you shouldn't ask him that. someone has been too mean to you? well guess what, they'll be nothing but nice and polite to you now. oh, and if any magic user even tries to- okay. okay, sorry, y/n. sorry. 
you taking care of him:
♡ you honestly have no idea how rollo manages to do the student council work and take care of the belltower and its gargoyles and still pretend that everything is fine. no matter how much he tries to hide the fact that he's tired or claims that he's okay with it, you still ask him to take a break. and if he still insists that he has things to do.. man, and you were really hoping to take a nap with him while holding him and telling him that he's done well- oh? oh, he actually has some free time now? huh. interesting. well, what did you expect, this man is so touch-starved, it's insane. and it's also kinda cute to watch him try and pretend that he's not.
♡ you actually try to help rollo be more honest with his emotions. like, he has to be better than the overblot gang. and also.. it's probably for the best that we don't have another masquerade incident. so if you see that rollo is even a little bit annoyed, you still ask him what's wrong and even if he tries to cover his face expression with his handkerchief and says that it's nothing, you don't leave him alone until he confesses. and this isn't just about the negative emotions, if you see him try to hide his smile or his face that is becoming more red, you softly tell him to stop and look at you. you won't make fun of him and you won't think he's weird for expressing his emotions. you would love to see that side of him more often actually. 
♡ if rollo actually wants to talk to you about something that has been bothering him even without you noticing anything or asking him about it, you'd be so proud of him for opening up to you and you will try your best to listen to him and you will be as patient with him as possible. you know that he has a lot of problems and that his past was really sad and traumatic and even though you can't do anything to change his past, at least you can try to make the present better. if he wants to talk to you about his brother, if he wants to talk about his relationship with magic, if he wants to talk about anything, you'll be there, waiting for him. you won't leave him. you promise. 
892 notes · View notes
latenightdaydreams · 5 days
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Trucker!König x Stranded!Reader Part2 (fem)
MDNI🔞
For part one click here!
Master List
🚫Same as part one, there are HUGE TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS STORY!🚫
Please do not read if you are not in a good mental health head space or cannot handle extreme content. Your mental health matters more than a story! I have other smut and fluff with a kind and consensual König, please enjoy those instead🥰 Remember you're all amazing and deserve happiness in the world. I hope you all have a fantastic day and take care of yourself🩷
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🚫LAST WARNING BEFORE TRIGGERS🚫
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>cw: fem/afab, p in v, non-con, recording, threats, breath restriction.
3.1 word count
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With the sun in your eyes, you wake up on a groggy state; the sleeping pill having been so strong, you feel as if you’re hung over. At first your vision is a little blurry so you try to rub your eyes awake. Going to pull your hands down, you realize you can’t. Instant fear sets in as you realize your hands are bound together with zip ties attached to a bar over your head. You feel the truck moving, König is driving. In a panic you look over to him and with a trembling voice, you speak up.
“König…” you can’t control your breathing.
“Ah! Guten Morgen, meine Liebe.” König’s voice overly cheerful. He looks at you quickly over his shoulder. “That pill took you out for quite a while.” He chuckles as if this is a casual situation.
“Why…why am I tied up?” You like to think of yourself as a strong woman, but you’ve never felt this level of helplessness before.
“So that you don’t run.”
Silence lingered in the air as you stare at the back of his head. “Please don’t do this.”
“It’s already done.” He shoots you an uneasy glare from over his shoulder.
You take a deep shaky breath as your gaze stays on him. “I have friends waiting for me in Germany-”
“No, you don’t.” He cuts you off swiftly. “You said you were here alone already, remember?” He lets out a low chuckle. “You should know better than to give out that type of information from a man you don’t know Liebling.”
In your mind you begin to play back every action from taking a sleeping pill from him, getting in the truck, getting the piece of shit car, to planning this trip. All the small things that added up and left you here. Tears begin to stream down your face as true panic begins to set in.
König stays quiet and lets you have your little tantrum, smirking as he listens to your sobs. He waits for you to relax before telling you the rules. He’s a patient man, he can wait. 20 minutes pass and he let out a sigh as he hears your sobs quiet down.
“Now, I want you to listen closely please. In public, you keep your head down and don’t speak. You’ll get one chance to use the bathroom a day, so don’t fuck it up for yourself. When I ask for something, I don’t want to get any push back. You’re mine now, you have to obey.”
You stay quiet and listen to the words as the world seems like a blur around you. His voice blending into the sound of the tires on the road.
“Do you understand?” König’s voice tone snapping you back to this moment.
“Yeah…” Your voice cracks as you speak.
“Gut.” König ignores you and continues to drive. His mind preoccupied with the thought of what he recorded last night and what he will record again soon.
A voice comes in over his radio and you see a spark of hope, a way out. You watch König press down on the button and respond in fast German that you can’t understand. An idea comes to mind, if you scream for help when König presses to talk, maybe someone will hear you and track König down to save you. Sitting and listening to the men talk back and forth in a language you don’t know, the urge to do it now just overcame you.
“HELP!” You shout as König presses down to speak, “HE HAS ME TRAPPED IN HIS TRUCK!” Your voice strained from all of the crying you’ve been doing.
Panic sets in as König turns his head to look at you, you’re waiting for him to yell or physically hurt you. He doesn’t. He simply laughs. So does the voice on the other end of the line.
“I can see she’s woken up!” The voice jokes with a strong German accent.
Your heart sinks. He knows? And is okay with this? Tears burn your eyes as you feel stupid now and are scared for how König might punish you for trying to get help. Dropping your head back on to the pillow, you let out a long breath and let the tears roll down your face.
“So,” König has an air of arrogance in his voice, “how did your little plan go Maus? Were you expecting to be saved?” He mocks you.
You don’t say anything as you just lay there feeling defeated yet again. You take a deep shaky breath, trying not to cry.
“I’ll let that one slide, but next time I will have to put a muzzle on you Maus.” König shakes his head. “I have a sandwich and water for you if you’re hungry.”
You look at him, your stomach growling. Did he drug the food? Poison it? You have to eat sometime though… “I am.”
“Good girl, I’ll feed you once we get to the motel.”
“Motel?”
“Well, I have to sleep and there’s not enough room for the both of us. Plus, I want to clean you up.”
His words make your heart sink into your stomach. The thought of him cleaning you- just seeing you naked puts you into a panic. Your jaw beginning to shake as you try to suppress your emotions, not wanting him to know how much he is affecting you.
As hours pass, the sun begins to set again. König hasn’t spoken to you this whole time and you’ve just been trying to dissociate so you can avoid a break down. You look out the windows of the truck and see the sign for a motel. König parks the truck and stands. He turns to you and looks you up and down.
“Now Maus, I’m going to give you a choice here.” He clears his throat and kneels in front of you, “You can either be a good girl and walk beside me with your head down not saying a word or I give you another one of those sleeping pills.”
“I- I’ll behave…” You don’t want to be in that motel room trapped with him and not be conscious.
“You better, I’m not above resorting to violence.” His piercing blue eyes bore into yours. He left the truck, leaving you tied up, to go pay for a room.
While he is gone, you try hard to pull your hands out of the zip ties as they dig into your wrist. Pulling with all you might nothing happens other than hurting yourself. You stop once you hear heavy footsteps approaching the truck again.
He opens the door and steps inside. He begins to gather his things before he turns and looks at you. He took out his pocket knife and kneeled beside you.
“When I cut these, if you try to run, I will catch you and it will be worse for you.” He threatens.
You nod in understanding feeling a deep-rooted fear from his words. You believe him and didn’t want to push him, but also didn’t want to go into that motel room. Getting out alive is your main goal, so you do as he asks. He cuts the zip ties and yanks you up by your sore wrist. With wobbly legs you follow him out of the truck into the parking lot. Looking around there are no other cars other than another semi-truck. Feeling the warm air with a nice breeze makes you feel free, fills you with an illusion of peace.
König pulls you up to the door and opens the door with the keycard. He gently pushes you in and quickly closes and locks the door behind him. You stand there with your body trembling as he turns to look at you.
“Take your clothes off.”
You don’t move and just look at him. In his mind you’re going over a hundred different ways you could possibly try to fight him and flee, but he is massive, has a knife, and you don’t know where you are.
“Now!” He barks taking you out of your thoughts and back to reality.
You grab the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head before pulling down your leggings.  His eyes stay on you as you undress. Your hands fumble with the clasp of your bra as you become nervous before finally letting it fall to the floor. He walks to you and yanks your underwear off.
“You’re taking too long,” he huffs. “Hands behind your back.”
You put your hands behind your back as he asked. He zip ties your wrist together again, your wrist sore and in pain. He pushes you forward and towards the bathroom. He turns the shower on and checks the waters temp. His eyes looking back at you up and down, lingering on the bush between your legs.
“Get in.” He demands.
You walk to the shower and step in, the water warm as you stand there letting the water hit your body. König grabs a wash cloth and begins to lather it with a soap bar. He begins to wash your body; you close your eyes and turn your head trying to not get soap in your eyes. He aggressively washes your body. Grabbing the shower head, he rinses the soap off of you.
“Get out and follow me.” König turns the shower off and grabs a blue towel. He walks to the queen size bed and lays the towel down. You follow behind him soaking set, leaving a trail of water behind you as you walk. He points to the towel and you sit on it.
“Lay down,” he walks away back to the bathroom as you scoot back on the towel and lie down. The weight of your body on your hands behind your back is uncomfortable.
He comes back with a soapy wash cloth and a razor. You look at him and watch as he drops to his knees in front of you. He opens your legs and rubs your pubic area with the wash cloth. He began to gently shave your pubic hair. You stay as still as possible so he doesn’t cut you, you keep your eyes directed at the ceiling.
“You have a very beautiful pussy Maus.” König’s voice is full of lust and makes your stomach churn. He uses the wash cloth to wipe the hair he has shaved away. “Perfect…” he mumbles.
His hands caress your thighs before he stands and goes to the bathroom to return the razor and wash cloth. He comes back and grabs you by the shoulders to sit you up. He walks to one of his bags and opens the cooler. Placing the sandwich and the water on the small desk in the corner of the room.
“You can eat once we are done. I don’t want you to throw up.”
Going back to the bag he grabs a tripod and a second phone. He pulls the bedside table away from the wall a few feet. He places the tripod on top and places his phone in the phone slot. Taking the lamp shade off of the lamp the room gets brighter. You begin to realize what is going to happen.
“Don’t worry, this is only for me to watch.” He lies.
König begins to undress, pulling his shirt over his head revealing his scarred body to you. He pulls his belt off and tosses it on the bed before he undoes his pants and pulls them down, stepping out of them. You look forward trying to ignore his body, but it’s useless as he walks in front of you now; his erection in your face now. He grabs the belt off the bed and begins to wrap it around your neck. This causes a fight or flight trigger response and you scream and kick.
He puts his hand on your mouth and pushes you back into the bed, “If you scream and the young man at the front desk tries to come and save you, I’ll kill him. So, either save a human life, or be selfish and take him down with you.”
He phrases this as if you’re the bad guy in this situation, as if it isn’t him that would be killing the innocent man. You lay there looking at him, struggling to breathe with his calloused hand over your mouth and nose.
“Do you understand?”
You nod your head in response and he backs off of you, sitting you back up. He tightens the belt around your neck to the point where talking and breathing was hard, but you could still do it. He walked to the phone on the tripod and hit record. He held his original phone in his hand.
“Lay back Maus.” His voice husky as he begins to stroke his cock with his freehand.
You do as he says. The phone in his hand is pointed at you, you assume it’s recording you as well. You turn your head the opposite way of all the cameras to try and disconnect form this moment.
“Look at me,” he snaps at you. You do as he asks. Your eyes meet his icy pale gaze as he smirks.
König moves forward, dropping his gaze down to your sweet cunt. He nuzzles himself between your legs and began to slap his heavy cock on your clit, slowly moving himself up and down. Finding your entrance, he pushes forward. No prep as he pushes in, your pussy tight and dry as it squeezes around him pushing into without warning. He eyes watch your cunt struggle to take his enormous size through the screen of his phone. The belt around your neck muffling the pitch of your pained sounds.
“Ooh, ja. That’s tight.” He groans as he pushes all the way into you.
As your hips squirm with discomfort your walls flutter all around the length of his cock sending waves of pleasure through his body.  Slowly he moves his hips back as he spits on his cock for lubrication. You watch in disgust as he records himself pushing back in. He begins to fuck into you faster, causing the bed to hit the wall. You try to focus on breathing as you feel slightly light headed.
König begins to let out small moans of pleasure as your body begins to react, betraying you, and gets aroused. He smirks as your pussy begins to get creamy and fucks you harder. His hips clashing harshly against yours.
“I knew you’d like this, Kleine Hure.” He laughs as he speaks those words.
With his free hand he reaches up and squeezes your breast before slapping them both harshly; leaving behind red marks and making you whimper slightly. His hand moves to your throat and chokes you. Already struggling for air, you begin to squirm. After a few seconds he lets go and slaps your face lightly.
König suddenly withdraws from you and moves up your body until he is hovering above your face, his cock covered in your creamy white arousal. “Open your mouth.”
You do as he says and begins to shove his cock into your mouth, bucking fast as his balls slap against your chin. The camera in your face making sure to record your struggle. You gag repeatedly, body arching wanting to push him off, but your hands are still bound behind your back.
Finally, he pulls his dick out. A long thick string of saliva hanging from the tip. You begin to cough and spit out more globs on to your own face to clear your airways. König spreads your spit around his cock and goes back down to your pussy. He uses his knees to spread your legs apart to fit his body. His cock easily slips back into you. He lets out a low moan as soon as he feels your grip on his sensitive tip again before pushing fully in.
He bucks his hips in a such a harsh motion he is slamming again your sore cervix. He moves forward slightly to put the camera in your face and record you as you get fucked. You try to turn your head but he quickly grabs your jaw and turns your head back.
“Look into the camera.” He demands and you obey. After a while the camera drifts down your body to your breasts and then back to your shiny cunt. “Schön, I got lucky with this one.”
Not able to hold off any longer, König pulls out of you quickly and begins to jerk his cock over you, moaning loudly. His cum shooting all over your body, landing on your breasts and stomach as some drips down on to your pussy. He stands there breathing heavy as he moves the camera over you to show off his work along your chest and breast. He slaps his cock on your clit a few times, recording himself playing with the cum that dripped.
Finally, König stands up, stopping the recording on his phone. He walks over to the one on the tripod and stops recording as well. He turns to you and walks to the bed beside you. Gently he removed the belt from your neck, it leaving behind a deep mark that will most likely bruise.
“You did well Maus.” His voice oddly soft as he goes into the bathroom to grab towels and wipe you off.
Grabbing your shoulders, he sits you up and turns around to grab the water and sandwich on the dresser. He opens the water and holds it up for you to drink. He is patient with you and doesn’t rush you as you gulp the water desperately. König holds the sandwich up for you to take bites. You’re hungry but lack an appetite after everything that just happened.
“Come on, don’t waste food Maus.” König still speaking softly to you, it disgusts you. Still, you continue to eat the food not wanting to anger him.
Once you’re done eating the sandwich, he moves your body up more in the bed and pulls the covers over you, not allowing you to get dressed. Hands still bound you feel terrible pain in your wrist and arms, causing you to fidget.
“I’m sorry, I hope you understand why I can’t untie you.”
You don’t respond, just look at him. He looks back at you and walks away. He gets dressed, boxers and a blue shirt, and pulls out a laptop from one of his bags.
“Get some rest, sweet dreams.” He gently kisses the top of your head and sits on the other side of the bed.
On his laptop he uploads the videos he took of you. He begins to watch and edit the videos before putting it up for sale. You lay there listening to the recordings over and over again as he works on it. Finally, you’re able to fall asleep. Wishing to wake up anywhere but here.
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tag: @soosouyoung
184 notes · View notes
buterccup · 1 year
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GEN Z READER IN TASK FORCE 141 HC
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A/N: I saw a couple of these and I couldn't stop trying to find more, and I just love the concept of all these big men trying to understand the reader's humour but I also love how they try to watch over them even though they can easily take care of themselves. Also, do expect the codename to change if I make another one of these but if anyone has ideas please tell me. Anyways I hope this doesn't flop and please enjoy.
Warnings: Dark humour, Suicide jokes, simping, swearing, mentions of parents leaving the reader, basically gen z stuff, usual CoD violence
Character(s): Soap, Gaz, John, Ghost, Price x Gn! reader (And graves kinda-)
Codename: Daffodil
There is no thinking about it you are the youngest and probably the shortest in the task force.
When Laswell first told Price that he will have someone younger than he expected to join the task force he immediately said no, he wasn't going to babysit you.
Plus you looked way too young to be in the army
Little did he know, you got your codename for a reason.
But once Laswell said you were very strong and he could trust you to hold your own and that he had to, he didn't have much of a choice.
And as expected once Price and Laswell introduce you to the boys they were shocked too.
There was a literal child in front of them.
And Soap being Soap he let out a little chuckle earning a nudge and glare from Ghost and an "ahem" from Price
"This is Daffodil, your new rookie. And I warn you don't underestimate them just from their name. Treat them well."
At first you were very quiet and only spoke when spoken to, almost beating Ghost's stoic and quiet nature
To which the rest of 141 joked about quite a lot
but after a while, you started to open up to them which was a nice sign
But the boys did catch onto your humour pretty quickly which caused them to worry for your mental state.
You would start saying suicide jokes at 1 mile per second at every small inconvenience.
"If that happens again I'm going to jump in front of a car- I am going to hang myself- I cannot right now-"
"Kid...It's just paper work..."
"Exactly"
One time you and the group were going after a target and of the guys' men shot you in the arm. It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be but it still hurt.
While Soap and Gaz asked if you were okay you were completely hysterical at the moment. So much in fact that you shouted something so stupid before the guy met his inevitable end.
By Ghost too:D
Thanks Ghost<33
"Do you want this back???"
BLAM
"Oop, mans left quicker than my dad."
To say the least, your boys were concerned for you because of that
Even Ghost tried to check up on you every minute or two after they got the bullet out and patched you up.
You all eventually got the target in the end but your boys ended up forcing you to go get your wound checked since a, and I quote, "Crusty dusty" building wouldn't be the best place to pick out bullet fragments.
You came back with one of the doctor's pens because you liked it and claimed you finessed him when in reality he gave it to you because he noticed you staring and you were too scared to ask.
It was a LED cat paw pen
"Gaz what does finesse mean?"
"I don't really know..?"
"What do you mean you're supposed to know-"
One time you shouted slay during a mission once Ghost killed one of the targets.
To be honest, it did make him laugh but Price, on the other hand, didn't understand but he soon got what it meant. Kinda.
With that being said Gaz and sometimes Soap are the go-to when Price or Ghost don't understand what the hell you just said since they are the younger ones.
Which also means you got along better with them
And if they don't understand something they always try their best to find out and find more things you would laugh at.
Soap even goes that extra effort to make memes and send them to you.
But don't get me wrong you love spending time with Price and Ghost.
And speaking of memes you always end up making stupid gifs of Ghost and always end up sending them to the tf141 group chat that you made to annoy them most of the time or Ghost himself where you sometimes end up joke flirting with him
Mans is scrumdiliumcious if you did say so yourself
(Ahem basically the gif at the start of the hcs)
One time you called Ghost Mummy and Soap and Gaz wouldn't stop laughing while Price sighed at the little slip-up.
It wasn't a slip-up.
You defiantly burst into Price's office most of the time too when you have nothing to do.
Even though hearing Price drone on about his paperwork doesn't sound that fun it's nice to hear his voice.
And If you didn't have good parents or were absent most of your life he would never turn you away once he sees you at his door.
This also applies if you have good parents too
From the number of times he had to lecture you and your boys about how you can't have McDonald's after a mission and how it's bad for you is basically allowing him to adopt you.
Once you met Grave one thing kept popping into your mind.
Fix it Felix.
Which didn't really give you both a great start but he warmed up to you sooner or later.
And as much as an asshole he is most of the time he actually gets concerned when he hears one of your suicide jokes.
When he first heard one over coms he made sure to keep an eye on you every so often and even messaged you after the mission was over.
Don't get me wrong Graves is kinda...shitty but that doesn't make him that much of an asshole to not check up on a 'child' when they say something concerning.
And when all your boys are free and there is time you all have a movie night.
It's quite relaxing, it was nice to have these quiet moments with your boys considering your jobs.
Although one time it was getting really late and you all got through 2 movies and you almost looked like you were going to pass out so that's when papa Price came out.
"Papa, more movie."
"No the movie is over, we gotta go.."
"PAPA"
"Oh, Jesus Christ.." (💀)
"Me. Want. More. Movie."
"No Daffo-"
"YOU LIE"
"Kiddo the movie is-"
"Price what did you do-" (🧼)
Once you calmed down and Price realized what you said he cried internally.
Everything was okay in the end though and Gaz had that on camera so they can always look back and laugh at it.
Requests: Open
Part 2!
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hellcat8908 · 2 months
Text
I Need You Rhysand x Female Reader
WARNINGS: Thought/Imagining suicide, mental health, comfort
Rhys was away with Cassian and Azriel checking up on some of the more troublesome camps in the mountains. You were invited along, but you chose to stay home. The last few months of hiding your declining mental health were catching up with you. You wanted a break away from everyone, and this seemed like the opportunity you'd been waiting for. They had been gone for four days and had planned for at least another five before returning home. The first two days were perfect, you took those two days to pamper yourself with some self care. On day three, you started feeling guilty about not going with them and enjoying the luxury that being Rhys's mate provided while he slept in tents with his friends.
What started off as simple guilt quickly had you spiraling into a depressive state as all the feelings and thoughts you had repressed came flooding back. Your mind turned against you as you remembered your shortcomings in recent missions. You made sure to shield the bond so Rhys wouldn't know. You didn't want to be anymore of a burden to him than you already felt you were. You hardly slept the third night as your mind raced. The fourth day, you hadn't gotten out of bed until almost evening. You managed to force yourself to eat some cut-up fruit and yogurt while drinking some water.
You stood at the sink and started washing the dishes. Not wanting to leave a mess and have Rhys think you're ungrateful for everything he's done for you. You wash your plate and your cup before rinsing them and putting them in the drying rack. You wash the large cutting board next, accidently splashing water on the floor when you rinse it. You grab a towel and dry it up before it can cause any damage. You turn your attention back to the dishes. You pick up the paring knife and start washing it, feeling how sharp the blade is. You instantly imagine how easily it could cut you. The blood dripping from your veins, staining the water and porcelain sink.
You think how easy it would be to end it all right now. Thinking how much better off everyone would be without you. How Rhys deserves a stronger mate who wouldn't crumble under the pressure like you have. You examine the blade of the knife closely as if it calls your name. In an instant, you blink and drop it like it's scalding hot in your hand. Tears fill your eyes as you reach out to Rhys in a panic, "I need you!" You sink to the floor in a mess of emotions, hoping he's coming home.
Rhys had just gotten back to the tent with Cassian and Azriel. They had started discussing new training they wanted to implement. Cassian was in the middle of explaining his idea when Rhys's expression changed. He'd never seen his brother look so worried, "What's wrong?" Azriel and Cassian instantly on alert. "We need to get back to Velaris now! Something is wrong with Y/n!" He declares after hearing you're frightened call to him. "I can't feel the bond!" He says before they winnow back home. As soon as he's home, he rushes into the house, not sure what danger to expect. "Be alert!" He commands his brothers as they follow behind him. The sound of you crying, guiding him to the kitchen.
As soon as you see Rhys, you launch yourself into his arms, burying your face in his chest. He wraps his ams tightly around you. "What happened? Are you hurt? Let me look at you, darling, " he says, trying to check you for injuries, Cassian and Azriel search the house for any intruders or threats but find none. They wait patiently in the doorway to the kitchen. You try to tell Rhys what's wrong, but you can't stop crying long enough to get the words out. Azriel mentally tells Rhys the house is clear, Rhys nods in response, and dismisses them. He holds you close and gently tries to guide you through some breathing exercises to help calm you down.
You struggle to follow his directions as he tries to help you breathe. Your mind is pulling you in a hundred different directions, making it difficult to focus on anything. Rhys gently takes your hand and puts it to his chest, letting you feel his heartbeat. The simple rhythm helps ground you, allowing you to start focusing on breathing. "That's it. You're doing so well." He praises you as your breathing begins to even out. He continues to hold you as he feels you relaxing in his arms. Your face still buried in his chest, he looks around for any clues as to what happened. He notices the paring knife on the floor but doesn't see any blood. You try to talk but start crying again before the first word leaves your mouth. "It's okay, darling. Just rest for me. We'll worry about talking later." He says.
He gently carries you upstairs and helps you out of your clothes and into some pajamas. You move to your side of the bed before Rhys climbs in beside you. He pulls you against him, so he's holding you close. "Rhys, I'm so sorry I pulled you away from work." You apologize, feeling dumb for having called him home. "Don't ever apologize for that, darling. You're my top priority." He says softly before he proceeds with caution, "do you want to talk about it?" You answer his question with a question of your own, "Can we talk about it with the lights off?" He leans over and turns the bedside light off, "whatever makes you comfortable." He says as he settles back in beside you.
You take a couple of deep breaths before you start telling Rhys about your struggle with your mental health. He doesn't interrupt you or make any sort of sound. He lays there holding you as you tell him everything. A few times, you struggle not to cry, but Rhys just rubs your back and helps you through it, always being patient with you. "I thought after the first two days I was finally getting better, but then I started feeling guilty for enjoying the time to take care of myself while you were crammed in a tent with Cassian and Azriel. That triggered a whole new depressive state." You tell him, catching him up to what made you call him for help. You tell him the intrusive thought about the knife and brace yourself for his reaction.
Your eyes are squeezed shut in anticipation of the anger that you're sure is to come. Unsure if he'll be more mad about the thought or that you called him home for this. He feels your body tense as you await his reaction. You're surprised when you feel the warm velvet of his wings wrapping around you, providing you extra comfort and the feeling of safety. Rhys's arms wrap tighter around you as if he's afraid you'll slip away. "Thank you for being strong enough to reach out for help, darling. I know it wasn't easy given your reaction. I want you to know and remember that this doesn't change the way I see you. I want to discuss this further in the morning, though, because right now you need some rest." He says softly before pressing a sofy kiss to the top of your head.
"I don't know if I can sleep." You say quietly. Rhys gently strokes your hair, "Try to, darling. That's all I ask." He says gently. He guides your head to his chest as he rubs your back, trying to help you calm down enough to sleep. You snuggle in closer, and after awhile your able to fall asleep. It's not a deep sleep, but it's sleep none the less. His gentle caress on your back lasts all night while his steady breathing and his heartbeat become your personal lullaby. The velvet of his wings coupled with his body against yours make sure you're warm. You stretch awake, surprised to see Rhys awake. He gives you a warm smile when he notices your awake, "Good morning, darling."
You give him a smile that fails to reach your eyes, "Good morning, love." He shifts underneath you as he sits up against the headboard, "don't pretend with me, darling. You don't ever have to hide or fake your feelings from me. I want all of you, your light and your dark." He says. "Sorry, it's just hard sometimes." You reply. "I know, but I'm always here for you." He says. "Breakfast?" You ask when your stomach growls a little. "Wait here, and I'll bring it to you. " he says with a smile before getting out of bed. He returns a short while later with a tray of food. The smell has your stomach growling louder. He gives a soft laugh and is happy to see you have an appetite. He places the tray across your lap before returning to your side. Rhys rests beside you as you eat breakfast, sharing bites of it with him because he brought too much for you to eat.
Once the food is gone, he sits the tray aside, "I want to talk to you about last night." He says cautiously. You start fidgeting with the blanket as your nerves increase, "Okay." You say staring anywhere but at him. He gently pulls your eyes to his, "Before you get mad and start yelling, I think what I'm about to tell you is for the best, ok?'" He says, searching your eyes. "What is it?" You ask carefully, trying to keep your composure. "I want you to take time off from work, just until you're feeling better and we have a better understanding of your mental health. I also think it would be good for you to talk to someone." He says. Your heart sinks at his words.
"If I'm not working, that leaves the rest of you to pick up the slack from my absence. Rhys, you all have enough going on as it is, Cassian and Azriel barely have free time. I can't sit around doing nothing all day while everyone else is running themselves ragged." You respond, hating the idea of further burdening the others. "A compromise then, you continue light duty work, but you have to tell me if you need a break to take care of yourself." He says. You think to yourself for a moment before agreeing. "Remember there is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty for about taking care of yourself." He says. "I know, but I can't help it somedays." You respond quietly. "We'll work on those together when they come, and no more shutting me out." He says before pulling you in for a kiss.
You return his kiss as you try wrapping your head around everything. You know the journey is going to be long and full of setbacks, but you honestly want to try, not just for your mate and friends but for yourself. For the first time in a while, you feel like this isn't an impossible feat. "I will see about talking to someone eventually," you say, continuing before he can interrupt  but for now, I just want to talk to you, if that's okay with you." You say sheepishly. "Of course, darling, if that's what you're comfortable with." He says as he holds you closer. "It is." You reply as you cuddle into his side. "Whatever you need, darling. I'm here no matter what." He says lovingly.
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heaven4lostgirls · 7 months
Text
hope (S.R)
pairing: steve rogers x reader
warning: angst, a little bit of comfort.
summary: the aftermath of reader leaving steve gives him clarity and has them both realizing that he needs to work harder to gain his girl back.
word count: 1.6k
a/n: I am so sorry this took so long to come out, I’ve been swamped with uni work but I’m so happy you guys liked part 1, I will probably post a part 3 to this, which other characters do you ship reader with??? Steve is looking at some competition soon!
part 1 , part 2, part 3
tags: @nouk1998, @spngingerbread21, @blackhawkfanatic, @immyowndefender (if I wasn't able to tag you that means your tags don't work!)
Steve,
If you’re reading this, then you have realised I’m not staying in the tower anymore. Tony helped set me up in safe house for the next few weeks, I can’t stay here. You chose Sharon over me Steve and you must know that I can’t stay with someone who would choose another woman over me.
I need you to know that although it’s been hard for me to accept it, I understand. It’s not okay that you chose to leave without talking to me, but I understand if she is who you want okay? I am so grateful to have spent the last 3 years by your side, but I can no longer watch on from the sidelines as you look at her like how you used to look at me.
When I come back, hopefully I’ll be ready to talk, but I am asking you that if you ever held any form of love and respect for me, to give me this time to heal.
Thank you, Steve, for everything,
y/n.
Steve crumples your handwritten letter in his hand, the paper squashed in the palm of his hands as he throws back the bourbon in his glass. His eyes are red rimmed and his face unshaven. He has been a mess since you left a week ago, unable to move from his room, and spending his time rereading your letter hoping that he could find some small sign that you still loved him, still wanted him.
He was unaccustomed to this feeling of pain, when he got out of the ice, he assumed the pain of knowing that he had missed his time with Peggy was truly the worst form of torture but the agony of once having your love and affection and having it so brutally stripped from him, may just be at the top of his list.
He sighs as he uncrumples the paper to place it on his desk as he moves to lay back in his bed, he had been part of a repetitive cycle for the last week, working purely on survival mode before he’s interrupted by a soft knock on his door.
He knows better than to feel excited at the small hope of it being you however he knows that it’s Bucky and Sam checking up on him and bringing him food before they annoy him into getting into the shower. He can’t stand the look of pity in their eyes as they hand him his food, so he slams the door shut as soon as he gets it, placing it on his desk, he moves to the bathroom.
He turns the shower head all the way to cold, hoping it will bring some shock into his system, however because of his super soldier abilities, his immune system is fried and numb to the coldness of the water.
His eyes burn as tears roll down his face, sobs wrack his body as he pounds his fist into the wall in front of me which breaks at the force of his strength. He hears the door quietly open before he feels Bucky’s metal arm tugging him from under the water into a towel.
This has happened nearly everyday for the last 3 days, sometime on the first day, Steve had stopped acting like you abrupt leaving hadn’t affected him and broke down during his training session, to which Bucky had been helping him through his depressed state however all he ever really wanted was you.
“I want her back” Steve sobs into Bucky’s clothed shoulder as he feels his friend cooing and soothing him like a baby before he is gently placed on his bed. His body shakes with his painful sobbing as he feels Bucky rubbing his back. “I know Stevie, I know” Bucky sighs as he tucks Steve in after he exhausts himself from crying.
Meanwhile you haven’t been doing any better, your mental health slowly deteriorating at the acceptance of the end of your relationship with Steve. You had known somewhere deep down that throughout the past month whenever you had caught Steve looking at Sharon that this was the beginning of the end.
However now it was time for you to face the reality of the situation, you may have spent the last week crying your eyes out at sad romance films with ice-cream and chocolate  but you knew that enough was enough, you needed to talk with Steve and hear what he had wanted to say the day you left.
Running from your problems was not the best solution however you knew realistically you did not have the mental capacity to hear whatever Steve had to say and that it would only end up doing more harm than good considering how high strung you both were about the whole situation.
Now, as you step off the quinjet, you are greeted with Bucky’s genuine yet sorrowful smile. “Hi Buck” you greeted softly as you stood awkwardly, worrying if you could still hug him even though you knew he probably spent the last week comforting your ex-boyfriend. Not than you could blame him, they had been friends for far longer than the both of you.
Bucky just rolled his eyes before his smile widened as he pulled you into a tight hug, you breathed a sigh of relief and slumped into your friend. Your moment was interrupted by a loud voice chiming in from behind the both of you.
“Y/N!!!!” you and Bucky both separate, you with a look of amusement and Bucky with a look of annoyance. Peter’s joyful gaze found yours as he sprinted towards you. “I knew when you didn’t respond to the meme I sent you this morning, something was up!” he said excitedly as he spins you in a hug as a laugh bubbles out of you.
“Hey kid, yeah I was on a flight back from South Africa” you smile and separate from him before you see his joyful gaze darken at something behind you.
“Y/N.” you hear softly from behind you, and you freeze.
You turn around and place a polite smile on your face, not quite ready for the conversation ahead.
“Steve” you say and nod at him, he moves as though he’s going to hug you but thinks again and moves back and you’re somewhat grateful, you don’t think you’d be able to compose yourself.
You all stand in awkward silence for a bit before you break it, “I should uh” you gesture inside and he nods before he opens his mouth, “Can I help with your bags?” he asks nervously.
You were hoping to have a few minutes to compose yourself, but Steve is probably right to get the conversation out of the way.
As you both walk through the tower, you realise how quiet it is and make note to thank everyone for steering clear of the both of you.
As you both reached your old room since you had been sharing with Steve, you place you bag down before you turn to Steve who is standing sadly outside your room. “You can come in” you tease him and that snaps him out of his mood as he moves to sit at the desk in front of your bed and you sit on your bed.
“So” you both start before you motion to Steve to carry on.
“I love you y/n, I don’t want this to be the end, can we please work on this? I promise I’ll do better, and I won’t choose Sharon over you ever again.” He rushes out in what you assume is an attempt to stop the inevitable.
You smile at him in pity and before you can start talking you see him shaking his head as tears fill his eyes. “Steve, if you really wanted me as bad as you say you do, where was all this attention and affection this last month? Why did it take me leaving for you to realise how badly you fucked up?” you question and watch as he breaks in front of you.
The last week must have been hell for him, the same way the last month was for you.
“Please just let me try y/n, let me try please” he pleads as he moves from sitting in the small chair to kneeling before you as he grasps your hands.
You move your hands to grasp his face as you wipe his tears.
“Love, I will always love you but you need to realise how hard it was for me to sit here on standby every time you left me for Sharon, I need to choose myself for once” you confess and Steve sobs into your legs as you thread your hands through his hair as you try and calm him down.
You watch as Steve tries to compose himself in front of you before he looks into your eyes in determination. “I’m going to prove it to you” he says seriously, and you nod to placate him before he shakes his head in protest. “No, you don’t understand, I am going to prove to you how much you mean to me y/n” he says and some part of you is hopeful he tries as hard as he says he’s going to be this time.
“I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to make it up to me Steve, you’re going to have to work for it” you say, and he deflates but nonetheless nods in understanding, realistically he acknowledges that he deserved worse treatment. He just can’t stand the idea of you finding love and connection with someone that isn’t him.
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weirdgenetic-fuckup · 1 month
Note
can you write a slash fic where reader is usually all sunshine and rainbows, but her facade begins to crack and he realizes just how bad her depression is so he comfort her and just helps her do the little things like basic hygiene? <3
A/n: Love this request, loved writing it, I don't know what you're going through right now but I hope you feel better soon, I can't really do anything as a stranger over the internet but I hope this can help you feel a little better lol <3
Warnings: Angst, depression, that's all I think it's just a lot of fluff, Slash and reader have a shower together but it's not sexual.
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You tried your best not to let others know you were suffering, you didn’t want them to be burdened with your own struggles so you kept it quiet. Of course your bandmates knew you weren’t ok, they tried to help you when they could but they had their own things going on.
Last summer your band opened on a short tour for Guns N’ Roses, one of your personal favourite bands. While you were with them you got pretty close to their lead guitarist, Saul Hudson, though everyone just called him Slash. Even so, you enjoyed the nickname Sauly instead, it was cute and annoyed him so it was perfect.
When you got back from the tour you realised you didn’t actually live all too far from animal lover, this led to you visiting him whenever you felt. Slash didn’t mind one bit, you guys would just sit together in a comfortable silence and it was great. You’d watch movies together, you’d cook for his incompetent ass more than you’d like to admit. You two were happy with your little arrangement.
However, this was all just a distraction from what was going on within your band. You weren’t entirely sure what happened since it didn’t directly involve you but you knew your bandmates were arguing an awful lot. Everyone within and surrounding the band knew you guys were about to break up, it was inevitable at this point. You knew, your friends knew, Slash knew.
All of the fights, disagreements and nosy people wanting the freshest gossip was detrimental for your mental health and you stopped visiting Saul. It started out as coming by every day, then every other day, then once a week if you were lucky until you just stopped coming by all together. You hadn’t left your house in almost a month, you’d barely gotten off the couch even with the only exceptions being to go to the bathroom or get more snacks from the kitchen. Quite frankly, you were running out of food that hadn’t spoiled.
Your doorbell rang and waited for whoever it was to leave. Instead of letting them walk away your house was filled with the doorbell ringing repeatedly and loud banging on the door. You could’ve sworn your whole house was shaking.
When the noise persisted you got up, taking your blankets with you, and answered the door. Slash stood before you looking completely panicked. His eyes were wide and he sported a small pout. When he registered that you had opened the door and were now in front of him he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him.
“I thought you fucking died.” He mumbled, shoving his face into your hair and kissing the top of your head. He pulled away enough to look you up and down, taking in your deteriorating state. The bags under your eyes, your slowly hollowing cheeks. Matted hair and dry lips. You were a corpse. “Did you die?” He asked, tilting your head up to look at him.
You turned and walked back to your couch, flopping over and curling in on yourself. Slash watched as you did this, standing idly at your front door.
He walked in and closed the door behind him, now taking in the state of your house. It wasn’t a mess but you didn’t clean so everything was covered with a thick layer of dust. “Fucking Christ.” Slash muttered. He came over and crouched beside you on the couch. “Are you ok?” He asked, tucking a few wiry strands of your hair behind your ear.
“Go away.” You mumbled, hiding yourself further under your blankets.
“Fuck that, answer me, are you ok?” He repeated in a sterner tone. You didn’t respond. Saul took a deep breath and glanced around the room, thinking through his options. “Ok, um... ok, how about we start with a shower?” You shook your head. “It’s ok, I’ll be right there with you.” He gave you a moment before he stood up. “Come on, let’s go have a shower.” He waited another moment before he took you into his arms and pulled you up, holding you to keep you standing.
Slash walked you to your bathroom. He let you lean against the counter while he turned the water on, getting it to the right temperature. When he turned around you were curled up on the ground. He sat down with you and held you to his side. “You need to stand.” He said, his voice soft. “Please, can you stand for me?” He nuzzled his face against yours.
Again he waited a moment for you. Slash stood and walked out of the bathroom, returning a few moments later with a change of clothes for you. Something comfortable that you could wear out of the house. He set the stack of clothes on the counter and crouched in front of you. “I’ll get in with you, I’ll help you get cleaned up and stuff and then we can go out.” He explained to you how he wanted the day to go.
“I-I don’t want to.” You said, your voice no louder than a whisper. Slash rolled his eyes.
“Want to or not, you're doing it.” He took the blanket off of you with minimal effort, you didn’t have the energy to keep hold of it so it practically just slid off when he reached for it. Saul picked you up like a cat, holding you under your arms. “Lean on me, would you?” You did just that, lazily wrapping your arms around him and leaning on him, your head resting on his shoulder.
Slash helped you out of your clothes. You tried to help but not hard, part of you was still hoping that he would just give up on this and let you go back to your couch. He didn’t.
Once you were ready to get in the shower he stripped and got in. He held the curtain open, waiting for you to come in with him. “It’s just water.” He stated, looking up at the shower head. You stood there a moment longer before stepping in. Slash held you from behind for support.
You got used to the warm water hitting your skin. Slash started lathering you with soap, being careful around your more sensitive parts to make this more comfortable for you. When he started washing your hair he’d scratch your scalp and massage the shampoo and then conditioner into your hair. He made sure to be careful when washing it out of your hair, not wanting to get anything in your eyes.
“Are you ready to get out?” He asked, leaning down to your ear. You shook your head.
“A few more minutes.” Slash chuckled but happily stayed in the shower with you. Still holding you close he rocked you from side to side, kissing your cheek occasionally. You knew you had to get out of the shower eventually but you just wanted to stay here with him. “Thank you.” You mumbled, holding his hands as they rested on your stomach.
“It’s my job to take care of you.” He said.
“It’s not though, you didn’t have to come by.” You told him.
“Bullshit, you’re fucking mine and I take care of my things.”
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digitaldiarystuff · 2 months
Text
False Hope
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okay don’t kill me but the only reason this turned smuttish and not full on smut is because i don’t know if i can write it good so the story was supposed to be different but it’s okay right 🥺 let me know if you liked it pleaseee
————
pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N
summary: you’re close friends with Pedri and pretty much in love with him, pretending you’re not you went to comfort him but he seeks the comfort in a different way than you would’ve expected
genre: suggestive but not quite, angst
————
“Hola, Pepi?” you asked walking in the house with the spare key after ringing the doorbell for 5 minutes, you were supposed to have a chill day at his place but he didn’t answer.
You figured he could’ve been resting giving the injury he’s had and maybe he forgot you were coming over. You and Pedri were good friends, you’ve met 2 years ago and were in a friend group together but soon enough your so-called friends dumped you which caused you to be depressed for a while but even though you were never the closest, Pedri was there for you.
He didn’t have to but still told all your ex friends off and even cut contact with most of them and you were grateful for his friendship. You may also have a slight crush on him since the day he argued on your behalf, you weren’t a weak person nor needed someone else to fight your battles but seeing him stand up for you was something not even your exes did and you couldn’t help but fall for him. He was just that sweet but you knew this was a stupid crush, boys like that belonged to supermodels and actresses not law students.
You slowly made your way into his home but there was nothing, you thought about going right back out but this would be an embarrassing story to tell him later. Oh yeah I broke into your home with a spare key and snooped around, lovely but as you were losing hope you heard the shower running.
Taking a deep breath you calmed yourself down and went into the kitchen, he’d probably not eaten anything since last night and you were mostly concerned about his mental state. Pedri had a tendency to blame himself for things he didn’t have control over and it honestly broke your heart. He was always trying his best at anything and going above and beyond but sometimes life’s just like this and you need to accept reality and stop putting pressure on yourself. You started to make some pancakes, that could make him feel better.
“Y/N?” a voice came behind you and you dropped the spoon in your hand from the shock.
“Oh my… You scared the shit out of me!” you exclaimed putting the spoon in the sink.
“I’m the one whose house is broken into and you’re angry at me.” he clipped back and you got a good look at him, his hair was wet and he wasn’t wearing a shirt just sweatpants but you couldn’t even care about his perfectly toned body because his eyes were bloodshot and he had bags under them showing you he’d been crying for a long while.
“I’m sorry Pepi.” you said and lunged at him throwing yourself at his arms and he was quick to catch you.
He didn’t say anything just held you close, he looked like he really needed this.
“How are you feeling?” you asked already knowing the answer and tried to pull back but he didn’t let you. Just then you realized the state you were in, his naked and moist chest against you and you couldn’t control your body’s reaction against him, slowly tracing his back with your fingers. You knew you shouldn’t think about him like that, especially not now but his hot breath on your neck was turning your legs into jelly and his breath was getting uneven every time you got to his neck slowly caressing the hair on it.
Meanwhile his hands weren’t still either, he was stroking your sides and hips absentmindedly but he was just doing it to calm himself, right? Just then he pressed a feather like kiss on the nape of your neck making your breathing stop. He could sense it and chuckled lowly but didn’t stop. Pedri kept placing innocent kisses all along your neck and behind your ear and your hands were still holding him tightly. When he found the spot that made your knees go weak you exhaled and made a small noise.
“Pedri”
“Shh” he said and kept going, his kisses were more sensual and open mouthed now and one of his hands found your hips pulling you harshly into him. Your body was quickly on fire, his touch burning your skin.
You felt all your logic go out the window as he started sucking on your neck possibly leaving a mark but at that moment he could do pretty much anything and you couldn’t stop him. He finally stopped his attack on your neck and leaned his forehead against yours eyes closed, you knew you could’ve stopped him right then and there but your judgement was too clouded with the feelings you had for him. You wanted him to kiss you but he was taking his time so you hastily leaned in kissing his lips like you wished all this time. He didn’t even lose a second and started devouring you. His lips were made for you and you’ve never felt this electricity with any boy you’ve kissed. You wanted Pedri, you wanted more. You’ve been patient, you’ve waited for a long time for him to give you this kind of attention but in the back of your mind you also knew he was at a low point and was worried this could be bad for both of you. Your friendship was on the line.
“Pedri, um”
He kept silencing you with his movements and even went as far as unbuttoning your jeans and inching his hand slowly inside. He was agonizingly slow and too fast at the same time, it felt like a movie. You held his forearm not sure whether to pull it back or push it where you need him the most but you just couldn’t.
“Pedro.” you said with a final will, you knew if he reached inside your pants there was no going back and you didn’t even want to go back but you were also afraid of being used just for once. Were you ready to be a bandaid only used at a crisis time?
When he heard you call his full name he suddenly stopped and leaned back, you’ve never seen him like this and it took everything in you to not lean in and close the distance letting him have his way with you however he pleased. His eyes were even darker and filled with lust in contrary to how they’ve been when you arrived, his lips were plump and he was breathing heavily. He’s never looked so sexy in your eyes but as soon as he came to realize what he’s been doing he panicked.
“Y/N I’m so so sorry I don’t know what happened I…”
“It’s okay. Um, really it’s fine I mean you’re feeling bad and I was near so I understand you don’t have to…” you trailed off but couldn’t even pretend it was really okay.
For a second you thought maybe this was real and he wasn’t just into you now that you’re here to heal him but that all went away as soon as he started to talk. You put a sad smile on your face and turned back.
“I should get back to the pancakes.”
“You don’t have to” he said awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.
“No it’s fine really, I need to head out after I finish these anyway.”
“What, why? Where are you going?” he asked panicking, you knew he was going to blame himself for this too but in the two years you’ve known him this was the first time he really was to blame. You blinked back a tear in your eye and answered him.
“I just have some errands to run, maybe I’ll see you next week.”
He didn’t say anything for a while, you even thought he left the room until spoke again.
“Oh okay.”
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thebibutterflyao3 · 4 months
Text
Day 31 - Prompt: New Beginning @jegulus-microfic
December Daily Series - 480 words
<<<Previous Part OR Start Here
“Handsome, you’re just so bloody handsome,” James whispered before tracing the shell of his ear with the tip of his tongue. “I can’t believe I get to kiss you. Can I kiss you again?”
“Stop asking stupid questions.”
Regulus lifted onto his tiptoes and reclaimed his lips. He refused to hold back. This was more than a kiss, it was a new beginning. It left all doubt behind and blazed a fresh path instead.
This kiss also revealed the desperation burning in his chest, exposing far more than he ever thought he would. More than was safe to show a bloke with such a precarious hold on his heart, who could crush it at any moment. Regulus tore open his chest and gave James full access to the most vulnerable part of him, with their second kiss.
Too much. Too vulnerable. Run!
As soon as he pulled back, James’s fingers flexed in his hair. He didn’t hold him in place, but he didn’t let go either. “Please, don’t run away from me this time?”
James’s equally desperate plea broke through his anxiety. Regulus met his hopeful gaze with a shaky breath. He nodded, then closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against James’s shoulder. The sandalwood soap that lingered on James’s skin soothed his frayed nerves and eased the tension he’d gathered in his shoulders.
This is different. He is different.
James wrapped his arms around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head. “This feels special, Regulus, and I think you feel it too. I’ll prove it as many times as you need me to, but I have a good feeling about us.”
Regulus squeezed him tighter, too choked by emotion to respond. This did feel special, as well as completely mental. He couldn’t begin to explain how overwhelmed he was by whatever drew him to James. This ball of feelings that sat in the centre of his chest threatened to burst every time he let James in. Every step closer to some arbitrary “us” created another puncture.
Will it finally break me, or will I break him?
“I’m…a little broken.”
James hummed against his hair, then nuzzled in next to his ear. “I’m a very careful man when it matters, and you, Regulus Black, matter to me. I'll just hold the pieces until you puzzle them back together.”
“And if I can’t?”
“Then, I’ll be your glue.”
Regulus’s breathy laugh was equal parts relief and disbelief. James took one look at his battered heart and offered to kiss it better. He didn’t cringe at the damage or judge the state it was left in. James saw the beauty beneath the cuts and bruises.
“Are you sure you’re sticky enough, James?”
“I’ll stick around as long as you do,” James whispered, kissing his temple.
Regulus turned his head and leaned into the affection. “Then I will too.”
Part Two - Wolfstar Series
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maxiroff · 1 year
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I guess your not who I thought you were. Part 2 ~ Natasha Romanoff
Summary: How will Natasha fix the thing that meant the most to her? After all she was the one to ruin it in the first place.
I recommend you read part one here first to understand this if you haven’t already.
Paring: Popular Natasha x bullied reader
Words: 1462
Warnings: Angst but with a happy ending this time. I think that’s all.
Note: I hope this is good for those who asked for a part two even if I couldn’t fulfill all your request.
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She remembered the day like it was yesterday, the day she broke your heart. “I would never wear something as ugly as that, it's even uglier than you.” She regretted those words the moment she said them. The way she could see your bottom lip start to tremble and your eyes filling with tears. She could feel your heart shattering before her. She lost you, the only one she truly cared about, the only person she truly loved.
She tried everything, she tried calling, texting, even knocking on your door but you never answered. She knew of your mental state and if she hadn’t overheard Wanda talk about your school she would have thought you had done something, something stupid. Even the thought of never getting to see you again scares her to death. She will do everything to get you back, to prove to you just how much you mean to her, how much she loves you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again you listened to your phone ring as you laid in your bed, same name everyday. Each time it broke your heart a little more. Everything felt meaningless, getting up from bed was one of the hardest things you'd ever done. You were tired even though sleeping was all you did.
“I love you so much my darling. You are the most valuable thing in my life and I’ll wear this as a sign of that.” How could she lie so bluntly to your face? She made you feel like the most special girl in the world. Time after time she held you as cried, laughed and slept in her arms. Time after time she told you how much she loved and cared for you. Everything felt like a lie, maybe it was. Maybe you were just a bet made by her friends. It wouldn't surprise you, you were already the biggest joke in school. “I love you” you could hear her voice over and over again.
You were so stuck in your head you didn’t notice another person in the room until she was curled up against you, holding you in her arms.
“Hey love, you need to get up, it's been weeks since it happened.”
Wanda’s voice sounded almost like a void, which she noticed, trying to bring you back to reality by pressing you harder against her body.
“I know it has been, I just feel so paralyzed, I can't even look at my own phone without having some kind of flashback, how am I supposed to face her.” Even now you could feel your eyes blurring as Wanda tightened her grip around you.
“Well it certainly won't get better by laying her all day. So as your best friend and roommate I am making the hard decision for you and taking you back to school”
“No” “Yes” “No” “Yes, you don't get a say in this Y/N. You can not let this ruin the rest of your life” You know she had a point, you couldn’t just put your life on paus, that's not how it works.
“Fine, I’ll go.” “Yesss” Wandra spoke excitedly as she almost squeezed you to death.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All eyes were on you, by now the whole school knew what happened between you and Natasha. You reach back for the hood on hoodie bringing it over your head trying desperately to shield yourself from prying eyes. The floor suddenly became very interesting. So interesting you didn't notice you walked right into the person you were trying to avoid and dropped all your books in the process.
“Oh god, I'm so sorry I wasn’t looking and- “ The words caught in your throat when you looked up to see who it was. While your heart told you to embrace her and try to get her back, even though you did nothing wrong, your instincts told you to run as fast as you could. You tried to do the latter but as soon as you bent down to pick up your book Natasha did the same.
“Let me help you, it was my fault anyway.” she said as she reached for the books making your hands touch at the top of the books. You quickly moved out of the way as if her touch burned your skin. The anger burned through your body as you got flashbacks of the loving feeling her touch used to bring you. “No thanks, wouldn't want you to be seen with someone like me” you said, turning to walk away as fast as you can with the books in your arms.
“Wait please Y/N” your hear behind you as she grabs your arm tight, keeping you with her. “Did you at least get my flowers?” She sounded desperate as if you actually meant something to her. And how could you forget the flowers? She sent you a beautiful bouquet of blue and purple hyacinths, the flowers signifying constancy, regret and sincerity. She had also sent a handwritten note stating how sorry she was, how much she loved me and how she was going to fix everything. But how can you fix something that is so destroyed and broken beyond repair.
“I did” you said in a strict voice glaring at her. Your tone making her heart ache more than it already was. You had never spoken to her in such a cold way and it scared her more than anything. “And?”
“And what? What do you want me to say huh? That I forgive you just like that, because you gave me flowers. That's not how it works. How could I ever trust you again after what you did?” While Natasha’s heart broke at the tears welling up in your eyes you became even more furious at the thought of Natasha seeing you cry like some weak idiot. She took the hand that you weren’t holding the books in. Softly stroking the upper part of your palm as a way to calm you down.
“Please, let me prove it to you, that you can trust me. Please, I’m begging you. You're all I have, I can't lose you”. A tear slowly rolled down her cheek. She had already experienced what it was like to lose you once and she wouldn’t survive it again. To never be able to hold you tight against her while watching a movie, never be able to hear you laugh again, never get to kiss your soft lips again or to be intimate in any way. It was a thought worse than death.
“How? How can you do that?”
“Like this” she said as you suddenly found her lips pressed against your own, her hands finding their way to your hair and jaw keeping you in place. You books falling once again to the floor at the surprise. It was like in the movies, the sound around you from other students all but forgotten, like it was just you and her. Like the whole world stopped and no one besides you and Natasha mattered in that moment. Your tears overflowing by the overwhelming feeling of finally having her lips against yours again. Unfortunately the moment ended when you pulled away filing your lunges with some much needed air. That's when you looked around and noticed everyone looking at you with a stunned look on their faces. In that moment she showed you she wasn't ashamed or afraid to show you off to anyone, fuck them and their opinions.
“Please” Her eyebrows furrowed together and you could see the look of desperation in her eyes waiting for a response from you. “I can’t forgive you right away Natasha, this is a start but it's going to take some time.” Those words gave Natasha relief, she knew she still had a chance.
“I understand and I will do anything to earn your trust back.” Her hand trails down your arm and softly squeezed your hand in reassurance. “Do you” you said as you looked deep in her eyes. “Do you really understand? You broke me Nat and it’s going to take a lot of effort to heal me again”
“I know” You could hear the regret and shame in her hushed whisper.
“But it’s worth it. You’re worth it.” And you actually believed her this time. You could see it in her facial expression and her vibrant green eyes. They're not wrong when they say that the eye is the window to your soul. “Okej, then you can continue to prove it when you pick me up for dinner today at six”. The smile spreading across her face could light up a whole room.
“I will, thank you for giving me a second chance you won't regret it”.
And she was right. You didn’t regret it, not for a moment.
Taglist: @newawakening9 @fanfictioniseverything @username2335 @yourmamacom @wizardofstories
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lelengerine · 6 months
Note
helloo!!! I am so glad you are back again,really missed seeing you on my dash:(
also,from your mini drabble list, the arranged marriage au really caught my eye! can you please write it with jeno as the main protagonist? I don't have anything specific in mind except that I am obsessed with the opposites attract kinda trope but you can write it anyway you want! thank you in advance <3
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love, lee
pairing | prince!jeno x princess!reader
genre | royalty + arranged marriage au, jeno uses a nickname for reader (love), no pronouns are specifically used for this, lmk if there’s any i missed!
wc | 0.9k
notes | i think my love for royalty aus are really stating to show now TT this is my first jeno work and there were actually multiple entries for jeno with the arranged marriage trope so i hope this suffices for now (maybe i’ll make a part two or follow another req if i can !!) it’s not exactly the same as what anon mentioned because i tried to condense the ideas to the size of a drabble as much as possible but i love all ur brains so much LIKE TELL ME MORE 😭😭 anw likes, rbs, and feedbacks are very appreciated ;0;
this is part of my drabble req event here!
m.list
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there’s this prophecy that landed upon your kingdom just as its walls were newly established, one that spoke of prosperity if two individuals coming from royal backgrounds were to be wed under every full moon.
of course, that hasn’t come true (and you don’t believe it ever will), but both the civilians and the royal family hold onto that sliver of hope ever so dearly. though, in the position of being someone forced into the position of marriage, you can’t help but view the tradition as something simply bizarre and unnecessary.
moreover, you haven't a clue who you are about to marry. the thought irritates you to the core, and your mother’s repetitive words on how this was ‘something she experienced too’ not making you feel any better — in fact, it was dampening your already sour mood even further.
just why hadn’t this been dropped centuries ago? the answer to that question doesn’t seem to be keen on revealing itself to you.
and so here you are, behind tall wooden doors in a dress you struggle to move in — much less breathe in — that will soon reveal a banquet hall filled with your and your groom’s relatives, a plethora of aristocrats that you couldn’t even dare to name no matter how long you stared at them, and reporters who were ready to swarm you with questions whenever they’d get the chance.
“there’s no need to fear, my dear.” your mother states by your side, and a scoff is the first response she receives.
“i hope you understand that what you’ve said lacks any sensitivity for my situation.” you bitterly reply with a blank expression, not even turning to face her once. with that, she decides to keep silent, not wanting to aggravate you any longer.
the doors open, finally placing you on display for everyone to see, and the first person your eyes search for is your husband-to-be.
he stands in front of the beautifully decorated altar in a navy blue suit and fur coat that looks just as uncomfortable as the white gown you’re wearing, and you start to feel a little sympathy for him knowing he probably didn’t have any plans of marrying you either.
you were both victims in this grand scheme, after all.
a step, two steps, and before you know it, you’re meeting his gaze for the first time. he offers a soft smile that puffs up his cheeks ever so slightly, pupils shining beneath the lights that brighten up the entire hall, and for a moment, you forget how much you’ve detested this day to come.
‘get a grip, it’s definitely for show’, you mentally tell yourself as your lips return the kind gesture.
the ceremony soon starts, and the words spoken by the priest pass through your ears like static fuzz, not paying attention to the prophecy that was being retold to the audience.
“i assume you were forced into this?” you begin in a whisper, wanting only the person beside you to hear your voice.
you turn to gaze at him and he looks a little surprised you actually started a conversation. “sure.”
sure? what kind of response was that? the least he could do was respond with a decisive yes or no to not leave you hanging like this. perhaps that smile from earlier really was to fool the reporters on a loveless marriage
“could you at least tell me your name?” you try to reach out once more, “it’s laughable as is to know we are in the middle of being wed and i have not a single clue on who you are.”
“lee, jeno.” he responds, and though it technically is an answer to your question, you’re oddly left unsatisfied at how perfunctory it was. “yours?”
“l/n, y/n.” you state in the same manner as if you wanted him to feel the same as you did just moments prior. “how does it feel to get married to a stranger? because i surely find this unsettling.”
you tried to play into humor, hoping to get a better reaction out of him, but what he says shocks you instead. “we aren’t strangers though.”
“what-” you start to sputter, however the priest cuts you off at the mention of announcing your respective vows.
“i’m sure you’ll recall it soon enough.” jeno’s expression finally shifts from his icy facade to a sly smirk that perfectly exemplifies his features, and you’re not sure whether to find the sight unsettling or absolutely breathtaking. “because i’ve known you my entire life, love.”
the nickname has your mind reeling in circles, paying no attention to the vows jeno was now dictating like a memorized poem of sorts. there was ever only one person who’s called you by that name, though it could never be someone like him… could it?
you snuck out of the castle to one of the town’s bakeries back when you were younger, meeting a boy who told you he was doing the exact same thing because he swore their garlic bread was absolutely out of this world, and that’s exactly why you came in the first place. it was like you both clicked, and that meeting became the first of many. though, as you grew older, your hectic tutoring schedules made it difficult for you to frequent the bakery as much as you used to.
still, you remember he suggested exchanging letters as a means of keeping in contact, and he’s the only one who’s referred to you as love. his love.
you’re abruptly taken away from your thoughts as the priest repeats your name, “princess, your vows if you may.”
“oh um, sorry.” you quickly apologize, trying to gather yourself back up.
jeno’s gaze on you looks much more animated than before, almost as if there was a playful glint that replaced the cold ones from earlier. where was the man you met moments ago as the event started? “i suppose you remember now.”
“yeah.” you breathe out, “yeah, i do.”
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