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#horror egg adopts
starry-p · 1 year
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HORROR EGGS INFO
These Egg Adopts are $8 dollars and 88 cents
Payments will be through PayPal
Once you buy an egg, I will make a random horrific/ terrifying character for you with the colors of the egg you bought!
Warning⚠️ these specific ones will be the scariest I’ve ever made so far. I will be taking inspiration from countless horror elements.
You won’t know what the character looks like until its finished and I give it to you.
The design will be a completely random surprise!
No Refunds: if you don’t like what you get, you can sell it or give it to someone that might like it more.
NO HOLDS!: IF YOU ARE ABLE , PLEASE PAY FOR THE EGGS YOU CLAIM RIGHT AWAY!
If you claim eggs to buy / you must pay for them within 2-3 days upon claiming them.
If you can’t pay for the eggs within 2-3 days / I will re-open the eggs and put them back up for sale.
I will only work on your EGG Adopts After you buy them
I prefer it if you purchase the egg you claim right away / I will however, give you the benefit of the doubt. Do not take advantage of this though.
*
Yes you can give these away as gifts once you buy them / they make neat gifts for your friends.
Yes! You can buy more then one!
Egg 1: OPEN
Egg 2: CLOSED
Egg 3: CLOSED
Egg 4: CLOSED
Egg 5: CLOSED
Egg 6: OPEN
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scoobydoodean · 1 year
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Ironically, Carver wrote “the horrors of suburbia” way better than Gamble… though when he did it, the most horrifying parts were (arguably) an accident.
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pilfappreciator · 3 months
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Did another oopsie and accidentally deleted another ask (*bangs head on table*) BUT HOPEFULLY THE LOVELY ANON WHO SENT IT SEES THIS!!
DADZONE & Child! Reader: John Dory
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Includes: GN! Reader, Child! Reader, Adopted! Reader, accidental DILF John Dory, slight angst
TW: mention of spiders and body horror near the end (nothing too graphic but just in case)
🥽 This man doesn't trust himself enough not to fuck up another meaningful relationship ://
🥽 Personally, how I see it, becoming a father is probably the last thing on JD's to-do list. I mean he's definitely got the skills (being the oldest of five and having to raise his brothers means he's picked up a few things), and I like to think that it's something he longs for deep down, but considering how BADLY he fumbled with his brothers the last time they were all in the same room...
🥽 So yeah. In theory would be SO down to start a family of his own, but in practice?? He is EXTREMELY hesitant
🥽 THAT BEING SAID!! Chances are he probably found you as an egg
🥽 He was out one day, hiking out in the forest or exploring coastal coves or rock climbing, when all of a sudden he just… stumbles across an egg. Just sitting there in a patch of moss or nestled into a log
🥽 Ends up taking the egg with him back to Ronda, but not before an actual HOUR of confused staring? Distressed pacing back and forth?? Panicked rambling all the while???
🥽 (the fact that Ronda tried to eat the egg upon his return doesn't help at all)
🥽 John Dory spends the next month or so visiting nearby troll villages and asking anyone who crosses his path "Hey man did you drop this? 😬"
🥽 In the end he decides to take you in himself. Partly because he's gotten tired of all the looks other trolls keep giving him for trying to force an egg into their hands, and also because he… may have grown attached to said egg in the past few weeks. I mean by the end of day 3 he'd already given you a name so you know he's screwed ahsjkakaa
🥽 He tells himself he's taking you in because it's what any good citizen would do (He is a lair. He is 100% doing it for himself)
🥽 The day you hatch is LITERALLY one of the best days of his life? Like he's just making himself some dinner and suddenly he hears crackling coming from his hair?? And then there's babbling???
🥽 This man is going about his day with you nestled in his hair (basically the troll equivalent to carrying a baby on your hip lol). He's choppin trees, foraging for food, and driving his armadillo van all while he's got an actual egg sitting on his head. Absolutely talks to you the whole time, too. He has no idea if you can actually hear him but like.. this man spent the last 20 years all alone in the woods, okay, his ass is lonely :((
🥽 Yknow that thing parents do where they hold up headphones to a woman's womb and play Mozart or whatever to make the baby "smarter" or some shit?? Yeah that's JD. He's doing the same thing to his egg
🥽 no Mozart tho ONLY BROZONE 😤😤 HIS BABY HAS GOTTA HAVE GOOD TASTE AND NOTHING LESS
🥽 If he's really feeling himself then he'll sing the songs himself. And then proceed to give unprompted lore behind the lyrics and the songs "true meaning" (songs include Brozone classics such as Baby Boy Got My Heart In A Headlock Boy and Baby Baby Love You Like A Pizza But Hate You Like There's Pineapple On It Babe)
🥽 "holy crap YOU'RE SO SMALL—"
🥽 UGLY CRYING HOLDING YOU IN THE CROOK OF HIS ARM CARESSING YOUR SOFT LITTLE FACE WITH HIS FINGER
🥽 Will die if you reach for him with your tiny baby hands or just smile up at him
🥽 He's still gonna carry you around in his hair while he goes about his day and stuff ngl. Like for him, it's a signature of your guys' bond and you bet your ass he's gonna be milking it for as long as he can (definitely dreads the day you become too big/old for it)
🥽 Most definitely tries to teach you survival skills as soon as possible. He's teaching you how to fish, he's demonstrating how to start a fire with the bare essentials, he's letting you DRIVE RONDA—
🥽 "It's an important skill to have, champ, trust me!"
"...but I'm only five."
"Never too early for a learner's permit!"
🥽 Defnitely tries to reel in that controlling/perfectionist mindset of his, at least for your sake. The last thing he wants is a repeat of what went down with his brothers. As a result he's probably more lenient when you get into trouble or do something wrong
🥽 Fr tho like... you'll accidentally(?) cause an explosion and his ass will be standing, hands on his hips like "I'm not mad, just disappointed 🤨"
🥽 You thought you were getting spoon fed Brozone content as an egg?? Well congrats on being born cuz now you're getting served Brozone content for BREAKFAST 👏 DINNER 👏 AND 👏 LUNCH
🥽 JDs most definitely the type of guy to break into song whenever he's doing the most mundane of tasks (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc), and yes he fully expects you to join in and know all the lyrics helloooo?? You've basically been raised on Brozone songs at this point like cmon, don't leave him hanging!
🥽 FR THO!! If you grow up to be a Brozone stan, he's never gonna be more proud of himself <33
🥽 This man definitely has a physical collection of every song/album/cover his band has ever done (I'm mean this is the same guy who kept his brothers underwear in a frame for 20 years so ://). He treats every CD, record, cassette tape, etc. like the priceless artifacts they are and YES, HES GONNA PASS THEM ONTO YOU LIKE THEYR FAMILIY HEIRLOOMS DID YOU EXPECT ANY LESS
🥽 If you grow up to lean more towards a different genre of music or Brozone just doesn't end up being your cup of tea... JDs gonna be a lil devastating ngl
🥽 Pls assure him that he has not failed as a father
🥽 Jokes aside tho! I feel like despite his wounded ego, JD will at least TRY to see your point of view. I mean he's definitely gonna be a bit of a grandpa about it—
*while the two of you are listening to your favorite song*
"I mean, I GUESS it's okay... not nearly as lyrically genius as Brozone's hit single: Baby Girl Ur Sweet Like A Milkshake Girl But I'm Lactose Intolerant Baby 🙄"
"Dad. Please shut up."
—but rest assured that he WILL support you and your music taste <33
🥽 You want merch of your favorite band/artist? No worries he's (stealing it right off the shelf) got money to pay for it! Is there a new album about to drop? He's (breaking into a store in the middle of night like a rabid racoon) patiently waiting in line just to buy it for you! You wanna go to a concert? He's using Ronda to (break speed limits, run people over, disobey every known traffic rule) get good parking at the venue!!
🥽 SPEAKING OF CONCERTS!! I feel like he'd be able to offer solid advice on the do's and don'ts of attending a concert. Like... my guy was in a popular band back in the day and he knows first hand how outta hand concerts can get. He has SEEN some shit ajskskaka
🥽 JD definitely has a photo album full of pictures from back in the day. Some of them are snapshots of him and the rest of Brozone, but a majority of the pictures are just of him and his family— away from the stage and cameras. Just him and his brothers and grandma Rosiepuff too...
🥽 He remembers the exact moment every picture was taken, and he'll tell you every bit of context. Birthday, pranks gone wrong, holidays, first day of school— there's a snapshot for just about every milestone. All you have to do is ask and JD is more than happy to relay every childhood anecdote he can remember
🥽 It gets to the point where you eventually know just about everything about your uncles... WHO YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN MET YET AKSKSKAKAK
🥽 It's definitely something that freaks them out once you finally DO meet them
🥽 Like you'll have a conversation with Clay and they'll be like "yeah I'm not a big fan of spiders haha" and you just go "Oh that makes sense considering you used to have vivid nightmares about them crawling under your skin and tickling you to death" and Clay's just like "how the fuck did you know that????"
🥽 "Dude stop telling your kid everything about us"
"I haven't seen you guys in 20 years! I just wanted them to feel close to their uncles ;(("
"THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW I USED TO PICK MY NOSE WHEN I WAS SEVEN"
🥽 John Dory, Older Brother Who Overshares About His Younger Siblings my beloved <33
Ermmm yeahhhh this was originally gonna be one big post including ALL the brothers... but then I started writing for JD and got carries away... so yeah this ask is gonna have to be a multi-parter AJSJSJAKKA SORRY ANON I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF 🤥
NEXT PARTS ARE IN THE WORKS!!
Bruce | Clay | Floyd | Branch
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cliozaur · 15 days
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To distract myself from the horrors of reality, I've been diving into Javert/Valjean fanfics. Some are lovely, some captivating, and some just silly but amusing. I've even found several favourite authors. While I'm fully aware that these interpretations of Javert and Valjean bear little resemblance to Hugo’s characters, they provide entertainment, feature some recognizable traits, and are often well-written. However, as a historian, I can't help but cringe at the anachronisms and messy everyday details that crop up.
I can overlook most of these issues, given the specific nature of fanfics. However, one recurring detail that baffles me is the frequent mention of TEA in almost every Valvert fanfic set in the canon era. I can take it that they eat porridge and eggs with bacon for breakfast – let it be, at least it doesn’t happen that often. But TEA?! In France? In the 1830s? At home? To indulge in tea drinking during this period, one would have to be either a crazy Anglophile or Sinophile. And one had to be rich to afford it. While it's true that the French did drink tea (Napoleon himself was a fan), it was largely limited to aristocrats or wealthy bourgeois. Valjean might qualify as the latter, but he wouldn't likely splurge on such a fancy beverage for himself. And let's not forget that tea required expensive porcelain tea sets.
Furthermore, tea was typically enjoyed outside the home in fashionable salons de thé, rather than being a household beverage like it was in Britain. So, if you're writing Valjean/Javert (or any Les Mis) fanfic, please reconsider having them drink tea. Water and/or wine would be a much more plausible choice. Or at least explain why they drink tea. Even coffee wouldn't be ideal, as it wasn't yet a common household beverage at that time. It was the Germans who first adopted the tradition of making coffee at home, as it was initially considered unsuitable for women.
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fanfic-obsessed · 8 months
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Somehow Palpatine Returned
Ok I had a hilarious thought and I need to share it with all of you. I don’t normally venture into the Sequels, for all that I have been a FinnPoe and a FinnPoeRey shipper for years, or into anything close to canon,  but I want to share this with you. 
Picture if you will the moment where Poe is telling the audience that ‘Somehow Palpatine has returned’. Ponder for a moment Obi Wan Kenobi, in the Force, at that moment. The look on his face. 
We are going with, somehow, Palpatine managed to hide his real identity from the Force Ghosts so they did not know he was still alive. 
We are also, from my own personal headcanon, going with the idea that Obi Wan severely dislikes (as close to hate as he is capable of) Palpatine and has for almost fifty years at this point.  Like 90% of the horrible things that happened in Obi Wan’s adult life can be traced back to Palpatine (both directly and indirectly).
At the moment that Poe reveals that Palpatine is back, in the Force Obi Wan starts swearing. He starts swearing in every language he knows. He starts mixing languages in his swears. He starts inventing new curses and new languages to be able to express his displeasure at the news. 
Obi Wan Kenobi is about ready to materialize into the mortal plane for the sole purpose of ripping Palpatine’s arm off and beating him with it (in a way that violates all manner of physics and Force). 
Slightly to the Left of Obi Wan, Anakin Skywalker is staring at his grandson in mild horror going ‘why are you…this’. 
The Force starts manifesting people to calm Obi Wan Kenobi down (For fear that Obi Wan will break…everything). First Force Sensitives and Jedi he cared for, then Clones, then non force sensitives, even a few old enemies.  
Note 1: Maul appears at one point and screams ‘Kenobi’ for a really long time, to the point that everyone else (other than Obi Wan) looks at him. He shrugs and goes ‘I just wanted to get your attention’ then goes to sit down next to Satine so they can both score Obi Wan’s curses while splitting a bottle of Force Wine. 
Note 2: Maul and Satine have a weirdly cordial relationship for being a pacifist government official ex girlfriend of a Jedi and the Sith Warlord that murdered her in front of said Jedi, but they have found in the afterlife that they both get joy from the face Obi wan makes when they argue about something inane with him. Also they may be each scoring Obi Wan’s swears (with the occasional addition of Yoda, Dooku, Ventress, and Padme) but they are using different metrics so their scores are vastly different at all time (Maul is scoring on Creativity, Violence, and the number of organs violated; Satine is scoring on creativity, number of languages used, how poetic/rhythmic, and how well it translates into basic).
A battalion's worth of clones are arrayed around Obi Wan, taking notes. Quinlan Vos appears and vanishes in rapid succession as he helps to calm then egg Obi Wan on (at which point the Force yanks him away only to be convinced to put him back). Cody tries to calm Obi Wan down for precisely three minutes, then he realizes what has Obi Wan so steamed. At that point he goes ‘no this reaction is completely valid’ and starts discussing how one would make some of those curses a reality (as they do violate physics, the Force, and human structural integrity. Also Palpatine does not even have some of those organs) with Qui Gonn Jinn, who is deeply amused but happy to bond with his pseudo son in law. 
Plo Koon wanders through and announces that he is adopting all of the new stormtroopers both dead and living (in the mortal plane Finn, Rose, and others suddenly get the feeling that they have been absconded with and have no idea why). 
In one corner Anakin, still despairing over Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and his life choices, is having an ongoing yet supremely awkward family reunion with one or more of the following at any given point and time: his wife, whom he had a hand in killing; his daughters adoptive parents, whom he helped murder; his daughter’s husband, who he tortured, froze in carbonite, and sold to a bounty hunter; and his step brother and step sister in law that rose his son on a planet that Anakin hated, whom he only didn’t torture because he never remembered they existed; Assorted Jedi who he had been close to, whom he might of had a hand in murdering.
That one corner has so much passive aggressiveness that it is insane.  A lot of Anakin asking out loud why Kylo Ren is…like that with one or more of the previously listed people going ‘Maybe if his grandfather didn’t become a Sith, Ben wouldn’t have gotten the idea’. Which is both slightly unfair, as Anakin had been dead by the time Ben Solo was born, but also funny as anything. 
Also no one in that corner was actually discussing their elephant in the room, which was Anakin turned out to be THE PROBLEM for two decades. 
There is an ever growing parade of everyone Obi Wan has ever met being thrown at him by the Force because the Force effectively went: SHIT that is a lot of anger. Deflect.Deflect.
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isa-ghost · 1 month
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isa my bestie. do u have any tallulah and phil headcanons
Always famsquad
Other qPhil headcanons
Take one look at this man and tell me with your whole chest he's confident. NO HE IS NOT. He gets so insecure about being a good adoptive dad for her. He internalizes the full extent of it but oh my god is he terrified she thinks he loves her less than Chayanne or only took her in out of obligation or isn't good enough for her in general
She makes him laugh SO MUCH. Her dramatics, her comedic timing, the Mexican culture things/memes she shares with him once in a while. Even when she doesn't intend to, she makes him laugh so often. Genuinely she makes The Horrors more bearable for him.
He hates not being great at words bc he feels like he isn't the best advocate for her that he could be. Example: when she was wary of the new eggs. He didn't know how to vouch for her beyond reassurances she'd come around. He wishes he could've articulated himself better bc he Understands her but can't put it into words to other people to the degree he'd like to.
He will literally never look at flowers the same way again. Tallulah literally overwrote his association of them with Rose. Now his first thought is "peepoHappy Tallulah!!" Instead of Rose. Rose is now second.
Tallulah genuinely brings out a gentler side to him. This man is hardened by survival and bloodshed and at least one death in his past. He's a bit closed off and suspicious out of second nature. She brings him out of that shell so easily, he doesn't even realize it's happening.
She can see right through his bullshit and it's so fucking funny. "I'm doing fine m8" and she's just like "[cocks gun] Doubt. Bitch. Try again." She WILL cure this man of his emotional constipation.
I firmly believe she'll be the one to motivate Phil to finally build smth on a Hardcore Project scale one day. Somehow. He'd do it for her.
If he ever says he doesn't like when she acts like a little shit, don't listen to him. He's lying through his teeth. Tallulah being a little shit amuses him endlessly.
Tallulah doesn't swear a Ton, at least not as often as he does. He wishes she did, bc whenever she does it's super funny and usually perfectly timed.
Her wing hugs mean the fucking world to him they make him so ;-; every time
Tallulah has somewhat adopted Phil's over-caution. She's a bit more traumatized by The Nightmare than Chayanne is. The "abuel" sign haunts her
Phil will sing stupid songs along to her flute until she hits him for his goofy nonsense lyrics
Speaking of her flute, her playing Sweden unironically gives him nostalgia and kinda soothes his nerves. It's like his cue of "the kids are okay, they're safe and happy." The first time he heard it again after Purgatory & the eggs' recovery, he cried a little (I'm projecting)
One of the reasons he was most salty about The Reset was because it meant they can't go to Tallulah's botanical garden, her farm in the wall, or any of her other cool builds
Phil found her the purple striped hat she has in Phil's chat emote. She has it fr so she can be Just Like Papa :D
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quitealotofsodapop · 2 months
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Hi! It's me again :3, I don't know (and remember) if anyone has asked this before but I would like to know:
How did OG!MK feel when he found out that SW is his father in another dimension (I feel like Mei would say something like "See? I told you he was your dad" or something)
If it happens before S4, I feel like Mk would be a little jealous of his other self seeing that he doesn't have the problem of not knowing who his biological parents.
(The idea occurred to me when I remembered a tiktok that said MK used any type of editing app to get an idea of ​​what his parents would look like 🥲)
omg if you have that tiktok I'd love a link XD
Think i did do a post like that ages ago, but only with an earlier draft of TMKATI and canon. Now I have like three more verses to torment MK with >:)
When the Canon verse and the other verses collide, the quickest thing the MKs would notice is their appearances.
OG!MK: "Whoa!! These me's are monkey demons!" TMKATI!MK: "And you guys are... human???" SlowBoiled!MK: "Yeah, why wouldn't him- I mean me be?" CenturyEgg!MK: "I don't know about you guys - but my parents are monkey demons. Then again my gūtā [dad's gender neutral older sibling] is human, I think???" JTTWEgg!MK: "My parents are monkey demons! The coolest monkey demons ever I may brag." TMKATI!MK: "Oh no way! My parents are monkey demons too! i have a bunch of adopted siblings though. Does your dad work with Bóbo[dad's older brother] Pigsy too?" CenturyEgg!MK: "No cus Uncle Pigsy and Tang lives in the city. We all live on Flower Fruit Mountain - but we visit as often as possible! Uncle Sandy ferries us across all the time." :3 OG!MK: "Wow!! You two live on the mountain!? What's it like?" JTTWEgg!MK, shrugging: "It's cool." CenturyEgg!MK: "Sometimes feel pressured by my role as Heir to the Stone Throne - but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I really don't like having to visit the Celestial Realm though. The nobles are kinda mean about my dad cus he caused a bunch of havoc a long time ago." The Other MKs: "wut" OG!MK: "Uh... Please explain who your parents are?" CenturyEgg!MK, confused by their confusion: "Sun Wukong the Monkey King, and Liu'er Mihou the Sage of Wind??? I thought you guys were too???" JTTWEgg!MK: "Yeah, mine are too. I thought you guys knew??" SlowBoiled!MK: "No- well kind- it's complicated! Ok!?" TMKATI!MK: "Not me. My parents are normal monkey demons, dude." OG!MK: "Oh my gods the Monkey King *is* our dad in another universe! Mei is never gonna let me forget this!" CenturyEgg!MK: "Well techinically he's my mom too so..." The Other MKs: "lol wat?" JTTWEgg!MK: "lol same."
The different MKs collaborate to tell stories about themselves (and get a solid PSA on Stone Eggs) while their respective Meis are snapping photos with eachother.
The different monkeys watch on nervously. The different monkey kings are sitting politely as their Macaques hiss at eachother from across the room.
OG!SWK: "So uh... did you tell him yet?" Other Monkeys: "Tell him what?" SlowBoiled!SWK: "About him being made by Nuwa, or the fact that we were forced to abandon him?" The CenturyEgg and TMKATI monkeys: "What." TMKATI!SWK, laughing nervously: "What? Oh gods no. I thought you guys meant telling him who we are!" The Other Monkeys: "Wut" CenturyEgg!SWK: "Your MK doesn't know that you guys are... Us?" TMKATI!LEM: "Nah, we've sorta been off-the-grid ever since genius here [thumb-points at his SWK] got me pregnant with our MK." The Stone Egg au SWKs: "Hah!" "Uno reverse card, plums!" Stone Egg LEMs: *all three have varying looks of horror, indignance, and bashfulness* SlowBoiled!LEM: "I said I was sorry!" OG!LEM: "Wait... what do you mean by sorry?" SlowBoiled!LEM, looking uncomfortable: "Cus of our uh... fight under the Mountain, and me not returning to feed him, I sorta caused Wukong's body to create a Stone Egg... and then I sorta died before I found out so..." JTTWEgg!LEM: "Ooof. Glad I learned early then." CenturyEgg!SWK, to his SlowBoiled counterpart: "Oh bummer, you got left with Stone Egg all the way back then? I started up the process willingly after I had to seal away DBK. When was the little guy born?" SlowBoiled!SWK: "Little lady actually. Yuebei was born about six months ago. Our MK was crafted by Nuwa - then again I did raise him the first year until I became too weak to care for him..." *looks sad* TMKATI and CenturyEgg monkeys: "Oh no..." :( "Stone eggs are super dangerous to the people around them. I don't blame you." JTTWEgg!SWK: "Odd. I got an Egg from the mountain too - but mine was born shortly after I completed the Journey. And mine was our MK. Did losing Mihou make the process longer??" OG Monkeys: "What?" "How many of you have MK as your kid!?" (*Cue them having to make a Venn Diagram of Whos' MK is What to Whom*) OG!SWK: "Ok so! Mine and the guy with the super-adorbs baby got our MKs dumped on us." SlowBoiled Monkeys: *proudly showing photos of their Yuebei* OG!LEM: "The me in sweatpants had him cus of a comet /slash/ stone egg soul mishap." TMKATI!LEM: "Oh, my Wukong was still responsible there. He sealed the Harbringer's soul inside me after using a sealing spell. TMKATI!SWK: "I panicked, ok!" OG!SWK, pointing at the remaining universes: "Annnd you two literally birthed him yourselves." CenturyEgg and JttwEgg SWKs: "Yup." "Stone shell and all." OG!SWK: "...is there anything else I'm missing?" The other universes: (*scratching their chins in thought*) SlowBoiled!LEM, slyly: "So are you guys back together yet, or what?" OG Monkeys: "What!?" "As if!"
Laughter just erupts around the room as the canon shadowpeach pairing realises that they're the odd ones out as *not* being together.
Complete and utter chaos reigns when the parent and MK groups reunite, and they recognise some sort of connection...
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homocrafting · 11 months
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turns out whatever instinct in me makes me want to make tma aus is unstoppable and all consuming. so here's qsmp tma au focused on the brazillians:
cellbit- he HAS to be the archivist ok this man is so eye aligned it's not even funny. HOWEVER because qcellbit and fcell are the same person, Events happened to him before he became the Archivist, ala from the archives grian. local paranormal enthusiast finds dead half eaten bodies, gets arrested for it (he SWEARS he didn't eat those people), goes to prison for 10 years, goes nuts (becomes F!Cell), kills himself in the island, wakes up in his room and Felps tells him "bro you disappeared for 10 days are you ok" and he's just like. What.
Worth mentioning that he fucking speedruns the archives. also known as the qsmp. Cucurucho, who is kind of like elias but a bit less (I inagine the Host would be elias, wjoever they are), thinks "wooo new archivist I wonder how long it'll take them to find out abt the horrors" and then cellbit shows up 3 days later running on 2 hours of sleep and 20 mugs of coffee with a consipracy board connecting a bunch of statements and theorizing about entities
ALSO the web is around him like all the time. if you pay attention there's at least 2 spiders near him at all times, usually hidden because he squishes them when he sees them. he's tangled in the web of lies that is the plot I'm making for this au and his ass is NOT beating it
Felps- Stranger type of guy who doesn't even know and takes like. a year to realise something's up with him. don't worry abt it ok I don't know why he's stranger-y to me either. it's the vibes just trust me
Mike- ok so. I am Very unsure for pac and mike, PLUS I've not seen herobrine a lenda, which means I don't know all their backstory, BUT I'm thinking Lonely for Mike, so far? he kind of distances himself from everyone after richas dies with him, so far is the only person I've not seen much gay happenings happen to, tends to disappear to fuckall nowhere apparently, as one does. also the fact that, back in prison, he seemed to have the most difficulty connecting with others.
also, the Desolation hates him personally. he doesn't know why. his house has burnt down thrice. he gets burnt by the littlest things for no reason. he's banned from the kitchen. an avatar of the desolation tried to kill him once. he watched his own son die in front of him. this is based on nothing from qsmp or anything I've seen Mike do I just think it's funny
Pac- I can only think of Vast and Spiral for him tee bee eich. Leaning heavily towards the Vast because, you know. gestures to the giant hide and seek maps, and also O RAIO, even though I have 0 context for that. he just... he explores the world and made giant hole (yeah yeah holes are the buried but consider: it's big.). it's his "I can show you the world" vibes. again dude just trust me
note abt tazercraft: both of them are very, very touched by the Spiral. reason? Chume Labs
Forever- I'm thinking either the Buried (mostly the digging aspect- he's destroyed a whole mountain and dug up and entire desert), or the Hunt (his intense hunt for Phil's love, the insane grinding that could be seen as hunting for resources, the werewolf hc my beloved). Leaning more towards the Hunt bc dogboyyyyy
The plot I have in mind is very different from the tma plot, but I'm not sure of everything yet, so for now you get this little bpnus :)
[CLICK]
[Cellbit]
We've been back from the Adoption Center for about a day now. Not a timely update, but things happened, and, well.
We found... we found a weird... creature. It- he? Acts human, although he can't talk. He communicates with us through a little notebook, and overall acts incredibly childish. He sure looks like a child. One with- with some material akin to... to egg shells as skin. He has hair, despite apparently being all... eggy. It's black and curly, covers his face. He doesn't like it when we try to move it away from there, but we're working on a safe way to see what's under there.
He seems not to know where he came from, but I know he's lying. It's- there's no way he doesn't, not with what he said, I don't care if Pac and Mike or, hell, Felps believes him, He called us fucking- he called us dads! That's the first fucking thing he said! It has to be some kind of trap, some kind of spy, I don't know yet but when I find out I'm going to fucking-
Shit. That wasn't too professional. Alright, where were we.
We brought him to the Institute. Forever and I weren't thrilled about the idea, but it was 3 against 2. I can't believe Felps would- I get Pac and Mike, there's something wrong with them I'm sure of it, but Felps? I underestimated his braincells. What am I talking about, he doesn't have any.
(Soft chuckle)
We, we named him Richarlyson, he seemed to like it. We asked his name first, but all he did was draw a- (Snort) a stick figure shrugging.
The only clothes he has are a singular oversized Brazil shirt. The moços and Felps want to go buy him clothes.
I don't know how they'll justify the kid having, I don't know, pure white hard skin, but they said not to worry about it, so I guess I won't! I won't. I fucking won't.
... I'm gonna follow them tomorrow. Just to be safe.
That's all for today, I'm gonna go- I'm going to check some statements, see if there's anything even remotely related to this.
This is Cellbit, Head Archivist of the QSMP, which I still don't known what stands for by the way, signing off.
[CLICK]
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Why were there more puzzles in the abandoned adoption centre? That is what Cellbit truly does not know. It is late, and it is still not cracked - he has made another copy and, wanting to be near Forever, has curled up on the sofa with it, a pen, and a notebook.
He scribbles away, glancing up every few moments to check on Forever, making no progress and not seeing when the sun begins its rise.
Consumed by a puzzle - maybe there is more to it, perhaps he is missing something - Cellbit does not even notice the door until someone speaks.
"Hey mate. You doing okay?"
Cellbit looks up from his scrawlings to see Philza standing leaning against the wall, crumbs of hastily eaten avacado toast on his sleeve. He folds up the notebook and nods, "just a bit stressed."
"Aren't we all?"
Philza drops his bag beside the sofa, and flops onto the seat next to Cellbit. His arm is thrown across the back of it behind Cellbit's head, and Cellbit is sure the fact it could almost be considered a hug is intentional.
"He's not woken up yet, then?" Philza asks.
Thankful for an easy if harrowing topic, Cellbit shakes his head. "He's been adjusting his position so I'm not too worried he won't wake up..."
Philza's fingers creep towards his shoulder. "Just a bit worried. And about what comes after."
"I can only wait and see."
"We will," is the branch offered. And then, "and Pac?"
It only takes a brief glance to check where he is - with Mike and Richarlyson both missing, the map is never far from Cellbit's fingers. "His tracker is still at Chume Labs; I'll check on him in the morning."
"He'll be alright there?"
"It's where he wanted to be."
The brief moment of silence is broken by Forever shifting again, squirming for a second or two as he finds a more comfortable position. Cellbit watches for any sign of waking, while Philza laughs somewhat fondly. The noise has Cellbit melting a little, his head tapping onto the arm.
"But seriously," Philza asks when he finally catches himself. "You doing alright? Enough food? Sleep? Quality time with your husband?"
"Enough."
The doubt in Philza's eyes nearly makes Cellbit squirm. The arm behind him moves, forcing him into a hug at Philza's side. A piece of avacado toast is placed in one hand, and a water bottle in the other.
"I'm fine, Philza, really."
"Let an old man worry, then," Philza is not really that old, but the jokes are common enough - even moreso with Tubbo in tow. "If you need to go, I've already slept and can sit with him. Make sure he doesn't choke in his sleep or anything."
The idea, which surely must have been why Cellbit was so stressed before, only now occurs to him - unknown drugs and experimental medications and one patient who had pain but seems okay now while the other remains unconscious could really easily lead to such nightmares. Leaving Forever on the beach... It really would have been a bad plan, Cellbit realises now.
His plan could have killed his family, just when saving them was in his grasp, and he could never have forgiven himself for that. Not even for this, for nearly thinking of it.
"Is that why you really asked us to move him?" Cellbit whispers.
"Oh no, I really was just worried about his back. Realised it could be a problem about five minutes ago. So I came over to make sure he was okay." the words are flippant, but stress lines Philza's eyes.
"You can see he's okay, now, then," he tries to ease those stresslines - reassure him about their shared friend, even if there is nothing to be done about their missing children or whatever horror is lurking on the island out of sight.
"Yeah, well, I'm up now. May as well be useful, what with my eggs being gone and all," a flash of anger, twisted to something softer as soon as Cellbit sees it. "You should get some sleep. Do you want me to call Roier to get you home?"
The embarrassment never even lands; Cellbit just shakes his head. "I need to be here when he wakes up, make sure he knows what's going on and get him his warpstone and communicator back."
"I can stay with him. Bought my switch with me and everything - play enough of it waiting for the eggs to wait up, and hey this chair has cushions!"
"But-"
Philza waits for Cellbit to finish, and yet it never comes. Maybe it burnt out in the day of rescues and interrogations and enigmas and stress, but Cellbit cannot quite find the answer.
"You could take one of the other beds here, if you don't want to be alone?" he offers.
"It's fine, I've got more things I need to look into. Found this map up in-"
"Cellbit," Philza's voice drops again. "Go the fuck to bed."
Cellbit chokes slightly on the tone, usually heard turned on eggs and not himself. Philza sighs, turning so his back is against the arm of the chair and he is looking at Cellbit.
"I'll watch Forever, and keep an eye on Pac on the map. If I see him moving about, I'll get him to come over - or if Fit's up by then get him to visit. I've got this, okay? I know we rely on you a lot, but I can keep this idiot alive now he's got the drugs out his system."
"I'm just not sure I can sleep?"
"Then for my sake just go lie down over there," Philza points across the room. "Pull the curtain as you leave and you'll be able to see us."
Cellbit ignores him in favour of finally nibbling on the toast he was given.
He is... hungrier than he remembers. Thirstier too.
Philza laughs, "yeah it's the only time Tallulah ever eats it too. But seriously, mate, you need to get some sleep."
"Alright," Cellbit downs the water and finally concedes. "Roier's probably worried anyway. And Pac will look for me in the castle first."
"There you go," Philza grins at him. "You need anything, give me a shout? I'll let you know when Forever's up. Then, we'll get back to looking for Mike and the Eggs, ok? All of us. Together."
Cellbit can hear the point Philza is trying to make, the same one he himself gave Pac but a few hours ago - you are not alone. We are in this together. I'll help you.
"You can call on me too," Cellbit promises. "I owe you for today."
"Nah," Philza waves a hand. "As I said, Fit and I were already working on a few plans. You helped me as much as I helped you. Call it evens."
"Still."
"What would I even call you for, Cellbit? Finding our kids? I know you're already working on that. Codes from Luzu? I already knew you wanted them. Lavacasting the Federation? I don't think that's your style. But if Chayanne messes up my rubix cube I'll be sure to let you know, I guess."
Cellbit is about to correct him, but the grin on Philza's face... He thinks he already knows. He raises his teleporter to warp out, and the other turns away - he pauses a second, watching as Philza does turn on his switch and open a game, but also as his eyes narrow watchfully on Forever, legs swinging back as though trying to perch despite sitting down.
"If you get bored, I've some puzzles in another room. If you solve anything, write it down."
"I won't!" Philza calls back.
He might. He won't, but he might.
But more importantly than that - Cellbit can trust Philza with Forever. Even at the height of unwanted advances he was still kind to Forever, still fair, still gentle. He is used to the chaos of Forever's emotions. Philza is strong, too; even if there is a physical threat, short of Etoiles Philza is one of the most able to protect others. There are a few on the level just below Etoiles, and Cellbit has not seen them fight enough recently enough to judge them all, but Philza is likely still in the top five. No matter what, Forever will be safe.
Pac... Cellbit will make sure that Pac knows just how proud he is, just how loved he is, but in the morning. Pac needs the sleep after such an ordeal; Cellbit will let him rest for now.
He has Pac and Forever back, and with them... He is more hopeful of finding Richarlyson and Mike. It will be hard, but they can do it.
So he heads home, crawling into bed to wait for Roier, thinking of puzzles, and trust, and friends.
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starry-p · 2 days
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Scary Little Furry Eggs ADOPTS INFO:
$12 dollars each!
Payments will be through PayPal
RULES: Once you buy an Egg, I will make a random horror monster for you with the colors of the egg you bought!
⚠️WARNING: Scary little Furry Egg adopts are horrifying and diabolical creatures.
My other horror adopts are just cute little guys compared to these things.
You won’t know what the character looks like until its finished and I give it to you.
The design will be a completely random surprise!
⭐️
No Refunds: if you don’t like what you get, you can sell it or give it to someone that might like it more.
NO HOLDS!: IF YOU ARE ABLE , PLEASE PAY FOR THE EGGS YOU CLAIM RIGHT AWAY!
If you claim eggs to buy / you must pay for them within 2-3 days upon claiming them.
If you can’t pay for the eggs within 2-3 days / I may re-open the eggs and put them back up for sale.
I prefer it if you purchase the egg you claim right away / I will however, give you the benefit of the doubt. Do not take advantage of this though.
I will only work on your EGG Adopts After you buy them.
Yes you can buy more than one!
Yes you can buy these as gifts for your friends!
1: CLOSED
2: CLOSED
3: CLOSED
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robsheridan · 1 year
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Sightings of Easter Bunnies, 1990s-2000s. While popular western mythology has adopted a singular “Easter Bunny” as a childrens’ holiday mascot akin to Santa Claus, actual Easter Bunnies are in fact a diverse species of “house demons” regarded as pests in most realms (cosmically, humans are considered unimaginably vile for celebrating Easter Bunnies alongside their gods).
Foul-smelling, disease-carrying, and devoid of language, Easter Bunnies lay colorful eggs annually which they leave as “gifts,” seeking to gain an invitation into a host home. But once invited into your home, it is very difficult to get an Easter Bunny to leave. They may present as givers, but make no mistake, they are there to take: At night they rifle through your belongings, taking small odd things here and there to decorate an underground nest they spend most of the year building out of trash and their thick, paste-like bile. Easter Bunnies are filthy and mischievous demons; they are able to walk among us mostly just slightly out of quantum phase, imperceptible to the human eye, which allows them to watch you at night when you don’t realize it. They particularly enjoy watching humans in times of quiet privacy: showering, using the toilet, dressing, and especially masturbating. They are notorious panty-sniffers, and nothing attracts Easter Bunnies more than dirty underwear left out for them to smell and steal.
Easter Bunnies lay eggs filled with quantotropic matter which can assume the form of simple baubles or candies that would be pleasing to whoever opens the egg. This is a trick to win over children and gain invitation to homes. In other realms Easter Bunnies are often vicious and considered dangerous, but here in the human world their methods have been so effective that they rarely ever attack, as long as they’re left to do their business. After being exterminated from planet after planet, realm after realm, Easter Bunnies finally found a perfect ecosystem balance here on earth: We love their eggs, and they love smelling our panties.
So with their season of emergence upon us once again, remember: That shadow you could have sworn just moved in the corner of an empty room; that rattling you hear at night; that closet door left open that you could have sworn you closed; that pair of underwear you can’t find; that strange feeling that someone is watching you while you’re on the toilet… that’s an Easter Bunny.
Motion version on TikTok and Instagram
----
NOTE: This alternate reality horror story is part of my NightmAIres narrative art series. NightmAIres are windows into other worlds and alternate histories, conceived/written by me and visualized with synthography and Photoshop.
If you enjoy my work, consider supporting me on Patreon for frequent exclusive hi-res wallpaper packs, behind-the-scenes features, downloads, events, contests, and an awesome fan community. Direct fan support is what keeps me going as an independent creator, and it means the world to me.
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Loving the Kaiju AU and I have a few questions
How would yuu react to the other staffs being like a father/uncle/grandfather/brother to yuu? how would the other boys see yuu as? Will any of the staff and boys would try and communicate with yuu?
Well, for the most part, Yuu’s reactions are up to you guys since it’s meant to represent us/our charactesr as the MC just like the game. I try to keep it as open to creative freedom to inspire you guys since everyone reacts differently. >v<;
Anyway, I did discuss the Kaiju trying to communicate with Yuu in this post here, where we also learn that Grim can, in fact, understand human languages! (Yes, languages, not just English or Japanese) Despite the language barrier, Yuu will manage to learn how to replicate the sounds and frequencies they hear…including certain ones that should be impossible for normal human vocal chords. Hmmm… >.>
But! We’ll cross that bridge sooner or later. In the meantime, more “Help! I’m trapped on an island with no memories and I’ve been adopted by two Kaiju dads!!” for all of us~! >vÓ
So we know that Yuu (as would anyone in their position) was baffled and floored at the realization that Nevermore and Crewelfang adopted them, let alone the fact that the two were…gentle towards them. It was sweet…in a terrifying giant monster sort of way, and tat the moment it was their saving grace against the other creatures of the island.
And then came the rest of the “family”.
Once the rest of the staff came into the picture, Yuu and Grimfang were safely hidden behind Nevermore’s forepaws as the others investigated the duo with curious eyes. It doesn’t take long for Yuu to figure out that they’d been accepted by this group of powerful monsters that—according to MIRA—not even the researchers had been able to observe to such an extent. In a way it’s kinda nice having the extra security of their extended “family”.
Some took their new familial role as “surrogate uncle” a little too enthusiastically though. ^_^;
///
Crewel: *trying to groom Yuu* “How in the world did you get yourself so filthy walking outside the den? Hold still, pup!”
Yuu: *glaring at Grim, who bumped them into a muddy water puddle* [“Traitor!”]
Grim: “Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t know how to groom yourself.”
Crewel: “Don’t think you’re getting out of a grooming session. Your fur is a mess!”
Grim: “What?! No fair! I can keep myself cleaner than the human!”
WHUD!!!
Vargas: “Good morning!” *standing on top of a massive whale-like creature* “I’ve brought the nibblings breakfast, freshly hunted from the sea!”
Crewel: *long-suffering sigh* “Ashton…two things. One: get that thing out of my den before it starts to reek! And two: surely you don’t expect the pups to eat that whole thing in one sitting?”
Vargas: “They’re both skin and bones. If they’re going to survive in this pack, they need to build up their muscles!” *begins shredding the carcass into chunks with shark teeth* “Once they’ve finished this, they’ll need to eat eggs to help them grow big and strong—like me!”
Crewel: “That is far too much for either of them to eat!”
Yuu: *hiding behind Crewel’s paws* [“What is happening?!”]
Crowley: *outside* “Why is there a fish blocking the entrace?!”
//-------//
Yuu: *trying to follow MIRA’s instructions to build a makeshift survival “bed” out of leaves and sticks* [“I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to be very comfortable…”]
Grim: “So why are you wasting your time?”
Yuu: [“Ugh…what I wouldn’t give for a mattress. Even a sleeping bag would be an upgrade!”] *continues trying to tie the twine…before stopping with a shudder* [“…what was that…?”]
Grim: “What was what?”
Yuu: *whirls around, gasping in horror* [“AAAAA-!!”]
Grim: *turns and sees massive spider-like chameleon emerging from the trunk of a tree* “FYGAAAAAAAA-!!!!”
Crowley: “What is going on out there?!”
Sam: *fully materializes just as Crewel and Crowley come charging out* “Hello, little imps~! So sorry for scaring you both.”
Crewel: “Sam? For Seven’s sake, we thought the pups were in danger!”
Sam: “My apologies! I brought gifts for your new litter of imps—in stock! And I guarantee there will be something they’ll want in there."
Yuu: *notices something odd about Sam and squints* [“…is…that Kaiju wearing a satchel?”] *yelps as Sam dumps the contents of the satchel onto the ground, the pile towering over them* [“Wha-?!...whoa! Whoa!! Look at all this!”]
Crowley: *tilts head in confusion as Yuu starts digging around the pile, Grim joining shortly after out of curiosity* “Well, they certainly seem interested in your selection. Now, say that they do find something. What do you want in exchange?”
Sam: “Just a simple trade this time, since most of the stock is unusable to us. A few mango seeds and a crystal from your mountain nest will suffice!”
Crowley: “Deal! Such a generous offer~!”
Yuu: *has already found a satchel and a several duffle bags, filling it with small items, towels, and blankets* [“Wow. How did he even get a full shower caddy with soap and shampoo?! Score! Now I can take a proper bath!”]
Grim: *grabs and drags out a large mattress* “The heck is this?”
Yuu: *gasp!!!* [“BED!!!!”] *dives off the pile onto the mattress before bouncing off, climbing back on and sprawling out with a grin and giggling happily* [“Oh, I’m going to sleep well tonight!”]
Crewel: “They seem quite taken with that slab in particular.”
Grim: “Huh…hey, move over, I wanna try it too!”
Yuu: [“Wha-? Hey! No! Get off! You’re gonna squish it!”]
Grim: “I’m not gonna squish it! Quit hoggin’ the good stuff!” *lightly pins Yuu down under his arm*
Yuu: *squirming to get out from under him* [“Move your big butt! Nevermore!”]
Crowley: “Play nice, you two!”
Crewel: “Don’t make me put you two on the discipline branch again!”
(In the end, the two wound up sharing the mattress with Yuu occasionally sleeping on Grim’s back or belly. When he wants to be mischievous, he’ll flip the mattress over while Yuu is on it)
//--------//
Crowley: “…perhaps it was unwise for Grim and Lucius to meet…”
Lucius: “Rrreaaaarrrl!!”
Grim: “Shut up! Yer the one who stole my snack!”
Lucius: “Hissss!”
Grim: “Why you-!”
Trein: “Enough!”
Grim: “But he started it!”
Crewel: “Down boy!”
Crowley: “Are you sure you can handle them both, Mozus?”
Trein: “You forget that this is not my first time raising hatchlings or kits. They will be fine while you two patrol the island.”
Crewel: “I’ll hold you to that.”
Yuu: [“Wait, where are you guys going?”]
Crowley: “Be a good hatchling for Mozus while we’re gone. We will return at noon.”
-Several hours later-
Crowley: “We’re ba—oh.”
Trein: *the air is filled with flickering images of creatures and scenes, scales shimmering while a gentle thrum radiating from Trein’s chest as he continues telling a story to an enthralled Yuu and Grim*
Yuu: *can’t understand what Trein is saying but enchanted by the illusions as they try to piece together what the story is about*
Crewel: “Hmph…so you do still have a few tricks up your sleeve for an old dog. Well done.”
//---------//
I think it’s safe to say that Yuu has had a lot of interesting encounters with their new adoptive family members. XD But how would they feel in the end after everything is said and done?
///------------///
After everything that had transpired throughout the last few days, it was no surprise that Yuu was exhausted. Despite this, however, they found themselves lying wide awake. Wrapped in one of their new blankets with their back pressed to Grimfang’s side as they both shared the mattress, it was like they had their own portable radiator…that snores. And like a massive pair of organic walls that blocked the chill of the night, Nevermore and Crewelfang encircled the two with their heads resting on each other’s haunches. The den was filled with quiet breathing, the wind howling outside sounding muffled.
In the silence, Yuu’s thoughts swirled: ‘Who am I?’ This was a question that had been plaguing them since they were first grounded to the nest with nothing to do but think. They could remember things like what objects or fruit were called and how they functioned, or how to work with things like a computer. And yet the more they tried to remember their life before the beach, the harder it became to recall even the most basic information.
Name? Age? Easy. School? Nothing. Job skills? No clue. Friends? Family? Pets?
Complete blanks.
All they could recall was a vague feeling of warmth and comfort, that someone out there cared for them. Who, they couldn’t say for sure…and the thought terrified them more than they thought. Would…they ever remember what their life was like? Who they were as a person?...
Yuu blinked as a rippling wave of shimmering gold light crossed their vision—no, their mind—before a small drop of emerald joined in, followed by a feeling of warmth and worry not their own bloomed in their chest. Raising their head from the mattress, Yuu was met with Nevermore’s golden gaze as he watched them—a sight they’d grown accustomed to after the first night’s scare he’d had.
What had MIRA called that color phenomenon before? ‘Echoing resonance’? They’d thought it had been part of the dream the first night it happened, but ever since they’d been experiencing it from both Nevermore and Crewelfang. [“It is unique to Kaiju in that they may direct the frequency to a group or a singular individual. Researchers believe this to be an evolutionary trait designed to communicate between young offspring and other pack members akin to echolocation. Study has shown that humans may experience this from Kaiju test subjects, though no further information can be gleaned due to the rarity of the phenomenon,”] the computer had told them.
…pack members and offspring…
“…I don’t understand you at all,” Yuu told him, his ear twitching as he tilted his head in response. “I mean…you’re not even human, and yet you decided to ‘adopt’ me because of that stupid serum. Do you even know what I am? Or do you just not care?” That last part sounded more frustrated than they’d intended, but Nevermore’s expression seemed…softer than before now, colorful ripples of blue and violet filling their mind as a wave of calm washed over them. “…then again…I don’t know where I’d be if you hadn’t found me that day. And since I can’t even remember them…you’re the closest thing to a family I have now.”
Nevermore gently lowered his head to rest it next to the mattress, his eye watching them as a quiet sigh escaped.
Reaching out to pet his cheek, Yuu couldn’t help but chuckle when he began to “purr”, the sound more akin to a soft, whistling warble. “Thank you,” they whispered, their eyes heavy now as a sense of security filled them. “For everything…”
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isa-ghost · 7 months
Note
Hey Isa!! So I haven’t really been following the QSMP, I’ll admit, but I heard about the recent angst of the “Cage for a cage” situation, and I’m very intrigued! What are Philza and Wilbur’s stories in the QSMP? I’d love to know more! Also where could I find all their footage to catch up?
Well Wilbur's sorta yeeted into the void bc of Lovejoy things, so there's not much to talk about on his front. He has his egg daughter Talullah, who Phil is looking after and has adopted as his own at this point bc its been months, and that's kinda it as far as major keypoints go for Wilbur lore. That and he canonized (or tried to?) him/Phil father/son dynamics again. Haven't heard much from the community if we accepted that as canon or as a Wilbur Bit Because Of Course He Tried To Canonize That Again.
Phil lore on the other hand. OUGH. I don't know where to start, it feels like so little and so much at the same time. Which is funny bc this motherfucker is so allergic to lore despite being a bomb ass rper (I have 11+ years experience rping, this man is rp veteran approved). I get timezones exist and whatnot & he's usually 3-4 hours into a stream already by the time he gets on QSMP to begin with, but he dodged so much of The Horrors for so long. This week has been an outlier and the crows are suffering thriving.
As far as his lore (in a simplified tldr) goes: Ancient bird man wired for nothing but survival gets plopped on a weird island with other English speakers & Spanish speakers. Shit Is Weird And Continues To Be, but all the islanders make friends with eacg other. They're *emotionally slams fist on table* levels of tightknit. Phil especially is always so ready to help anyone out. Timeskip a month or so, Island Federation decides to play matchmaker and then make said matches parents. They're given a dragon's eggs because Dragon Gone ??? Phil acquires egg kid and raises them to be a careful & loving powerhouse like himself (& then later gets second egg kid who's meant to be Wilbur's) only for the island he's stuck on to throw every wrench at him they can in the form of mobs, federation people, trivial ass tasks given by said feds, and more. The longer things go on the worse they get, and ancient man's biggest weakness is his two kids who keep getting used against him. But ancient bird man is an anarchist, this federation can pound sand. Federation doesn't like that! Ancient bird man get punished. (And that's skipping chunks of things, but I have the memory of a peanut so I'll leave better summaries to someone better equipped.) Also when he's not experiencing the horrors he has at least 4 other men thirsting for him at any given time and he donowalls their advances beautifully while also playing into their flirting and thirsting at the same time because he has No /R Thoughts, Only Goddess Wife and egg children. Goddess wife also encourages his unintentional yaoi-ing.
I DO know you can catch up on QSMP lore via the official recap channel "QSMP Info" on YouTube! There's two videos out so far so the recaps aren't caught up to date yet, but they're made by the admins of the server, so they're thorough and accurate.
There's also a Phil VODs channel that's run by one of the most devoted PEGS (Philza Early Gang Society, Phil's offline chatters <3) in the crow community. I'm sure they have every single QSMP vod uploaded (but strap in, Phil's not a 1-3 hour stream andy, he's a 5-8 hour stream chad). Most times, he does Hardcore first then QSMP later (though I think a few times while playing TOTK he'd get on later too so ??? Good luck?) so realistically despite being a 5-8 hour stream chad, there's only 2-4 hours of QSMP in the vod, you just gotta skim through the last half of the vod. For reference, you'll want to search for vods from March 22nd, 2023 to now. That's how long QSMP has been going. It'd be laborious to fish out every crumb of QSMP stream time but I do genuinely think it's worth it just to see how things on the island develop and why so many people are screaming about The Horrors every day.
I'm sure you could also scrape around YouTube for like. Fanmade recaps, perhaps even Phil-centric ones, though I'd be wary of ones that have character analysis rather than just the plain ol stream content a) because they won't have every bit of footage & b) Sometimes People Are Wrong About Characters. You could also dig for clips of major moments (Phil has some on his Phil Clips YT but they're mostly funny) but that'd probably not give you the whole picture if you wanna be slamming your fists on the table and screaming like a monkey with the rest of us LOL.
There's also plenty of livebloggers who scream as streams progress, so check out some tags maybe. The main one is probably #qsmp liveblogging but that'll be any & all member POVs so it's not the most helpful resource but an idea nonetheless. You'd probably be better off looking through #qsmp philza or #q!philza or something, you'd just have to sift through creative works, memes & shitposts too.
Any crows who follow me that might have more/better resources are welcome & encouraged to reblog or reply to this and add Phil lore summaries (and your character analyses bc Phil mains are trustworthy) or more things to check out in order to get all the Good Shit Lore(TM) btw!
(Reblogging might also help this reach crows who DO have more/better suggestions or the capability to recap Phil lore thoroughly, so please do that. :] )
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quitealotofsodapop · 7 months
Note
[Netflix!SWK: "And let me tell you, sifu Tripitaka was very shocked when our Xiaotian made his presence known!"]
....So, either those two did NOT realize they made a baby until said baby was leaving its first home...or it took the kid punching innards to realize something's there?
More that Tripitaka didn't know XD
At least one elder on Flower Fruit Mountain had given the young monkeys The Talk at some point. But the two mystic monkeys hadn't cared for precaution after a fight where they almost lost one another.
And they sorta forgot that they "did things" not appropriate around celibate monks (or wise for the temple of a certain fertility goddess they were crashing at) XD
Cue a few weeks later when Wukong uses his gold vision, looks near Macaque and... whoops. They both mutually agree not to tell Tripitaka until it becomes too obvious too ignore.
It takes until the Kingdom of Women for Tripitaka to start asking questions. When he gets his own "Egg" from the river, he starts putting two-and-two together for why Wukong has been so protective of his mate recently. Tripitaka asks to feel Mac's stomach for comparision to his own tremors. Mac's stomach kicks back at him. Tripitaka faints. Wukong and Sha Wujing are a little puzzled when they get back + a misunderstanding occurs where Zhu Bajie panics assuming Mac had also drunk the river water.
Mac has Xiaotian around the time of "His" chapter. Macaque joins Sun Wukong in his banishment and they make it in time for their infant to be born on Flower Fruit Mountain. They're happy just to stay there for a while.
Then Guanyin busts the door down and warns them that Tripitaka is about to be eaten by demons at the flaming mountains. Shadowpeach take their baby with them, cus clearly Tripitaka is gonna need more than two monkeys to protect him in future.
Tripitaka is saved, and promptly faints once more upon meeting the infant monkey strapped to his diciple's back. Each of the other pilgrims vow to destroy any creatrue that dares pose a threat to their newest member.
By the time of the pilgrimage's end, Xiaotian is a teenager and has grown up surrounded by the all beauties and horrors of the world. He has no interest in enlightenment; just sharing what he's seen and might see through the arts. His parents and adoptive uncles love him very much.
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kaygee-doodles · 11 months
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Just feeding my local author here!
I have reread your Gloom and Doom fic no less than 7 times
I have a sudden urge to see if nightmares goop is flammable now because of you after what he did to dust lol
I have literally fallen asleep reading your fics and got woken up by my heavy ass phone smacking me in the face
I have downloaded a pdf file of your whole story just so I can read it offline when I don't have wifi on my phone
I desperately wanna nap with dust on top of axe/horror while watching shitty TV shows (or true crime documentaries that's always fun!)
I also now wish to know what the readers favorite sushi equivalent would be irl
I need a Snickers...
Oh right! And while Dust has always been my favorite bad sans you have only deepened my obsession with him lol
10/10 would probably make him my go to skeleton out of all the boys in the castle for some company
I now have the inexplicable urge to make pillow forts of my own every time I dare read an Undertale au fanfic and I entirely blame you
I now have issues sleeping without making my 'Ilxina Nest' of snacks and bad TV while intermittently checking to see if you updated (not rushing you I am just paranoid that I'm going to miss a chapter and be the last to know about it lol)
I have officially adopted the name 'naptime' as the 'nickname' for reader because honestly... Dude fucking same man 😩
I used to raise chickens and mine were the sweetest things (all incubated and hand raised) and I literally could walk into their nesting boxes and take eggs right out of them without them having a care in the world and your little bit of having reader help gather eggs sparked this memory (I gathered eggs in the evening since they laid throughout the day... And it was always hot in the summer lol)
I feel like killer is plotting to do something something to reader and I refuse to be told otherwise... Shenanigans and dusts murderous rage is bound to make an appearance at some point lol
Lol hope you have a good day/night, stay hydrated, and get plenty of sleep (we all know that last one is a hope in vain since you're an author but still lol) 🫀
I am nourished and fed and writing the next chapter.
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beastkeeper91 · 3 months
Text
Mattholomule
(My Hazbinsona)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Name]
•Mattholomule
[True Name]
• Matthew
[Nicknames]
• Matt
• The Crimson Ripper (Alias)
• The Fear Demon (Title)
• Maniac Matt (By his bullies)
• Sweetie, My little cupcake (By Charlie)
• Matty, Squirt, Little Nerd (By Cherri)
• Pipsqueak, Twerp, Loony Boy, Sparky, Kid, Dork (By Angel)
• Kid (By Husk)
• Kiddo, Sweetheart, Mijho (By Vaggie)
• Little Rascal, My Dear Boy, Sport (By Alastor)
• Youngman (Sir Pentious)
• Bloodthirsty Brat (By Vox)
• Blazing Inferno, Goat Boy, Homicidal Maniac (By Velvette)
• Psychotic Prick, Troublesome Little Shit (By Valentino)
• Darling (By Rosie)
• Little Fella (By Mimzy)
• Forsaken Child, Filthy Brat (By Lute)
• Fucking Dweeb (By Adam)
[Species]
• Human (Formerly).
• Sinner Demon.
[Age]
• 18.
[Gender]
• Male.
[Sexuality]
• Pansexual.
[Date of Birth]
• September 14th, 2003.
[Date of Death]
• August 5th, 2022.
[Sins]
• Wrath and Gluttony.
[Cause of Death]
•Smoke suffocation.
[Likes]
• Animals, Murder, Torture, Killing those who he deemed "guilty", The Color Red, Fire, His adoptive parents, His Friends, Pain, His stuffed bear "Teddy", Marijuana, Pizza, Sweets, Video Games, Reading, Listening to Music, Drawing, Snuff Films, Vintage Antiques, History, Halloween, Mythology, Sci-Fi, Horror, Cooking, Helping Others, Swimming.
[Dislikes]
• Loud Noises, Crowded Areas, Summer, Hardcore Drugs, Hardcore Parties, Alcohol, Gambling, Someone taking his things without permission, Innocent people getting hurt, His friends & family getting hurt, Bigots, Animal Cruelty, Bullies, Pedos, Rapists, Perverts, Pornography, Needles, Angel Dust's Pranks and Insults, The Vees, Katie Killjoy, The Exorcists, Adam & Lute, Heaven's Hypocrisy.
[Friends]
• Charlie
• Vaggie
• Angel Dust (Sometimes)
• Husk (Sometimes)
• Alastor (Sometimes)
• Sir Pentious
• Egg Bois
• Niffty
• Rosie (acquainted)
• Zestial (acquainted)
• Carmilla Carmine (acquainted)
• Cherri Bomb (Sometimes)
• Emily
• Teddy (His stuffed bear)
• Kodak (OC)
• Giggles (OC)
• Viscera (OC)
[Enemies]
• Adam
• Lute
• Velvette
• Valentino
• Vox
• Mimzy
• Katie Killjoy
• Helsa Von Eldritch
• Seviathan Von Eldritch
[Crush]
• Viscera (OC)
[Family]
• Melanie (Mom)
• Joseph (Grandpa; Deceased)
• Charlie & Vaggie (Adoptive Parents)
[Personality]
•Kind Hearted, Respectful, Polite, Generous, Protective, Sensitive, Enthusiastic, Sympathetic, Friendly, Anxious, Psychotic, Sadistic, Homicidal, Obsessive.
[Physical Description]
• Normal Form: An average and short body with light-grey skin and forty tallymark scars, curly desert sand-colored hair along with two black horns, red eyes with a white sclera, including a third eye, black-hoofed feet, and distinguished fangs that stick out from his lips.
• Full Demon Form: A slender and tall body with red glowing tallymarks all-over,dark flaming hair with black elongated horns, elongated fingers and limbs with the legs being bended back, elongated claws, a long prehensile tail, a red eye located on his chest, black spike protrusions on his body, fully red eyes with a black pupil, and a wide mouth having complete rows of vicous sharp teeth.
[Height]
• 5"11 (Normal Form)
• 10"11 (Full Demon Form)
[Disabilities]
• Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
• Schizophrenia
• Pyromania
[Occupation]
• High School Student (Formerly).
• Serial Killer (Formerly).
• Asylum Patient (Formerly).
• Hazbin Hotel Resident.
[Residence]
• Oakwood, Washington (Birth Home, Formerly)
• Spring Valley, Arkansas (Formerly)
• Pentagram City, 9th Circle, Hell (Currently)
[Abilities]
• Intellect, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Lock Picking, Weapon Proficiency, Murder Intuition, Torture Intuition, Cooking, Singing, Demonic Transformation, Hypnosis Immunity, Weapon Summoning, Typhokinesis, Hallucikinesis, Night Vision, Enhanced Agility, Enhanced Strength, Hypnosis, Pyrokineses, Zoolingualism, Telekinesis, Teleportation, Fire Breath.
[Weaknesses]
• Due to his ADHD, it's hard for him to stay focused when using some of his powers. He would easily get distracted by something he either finds interesting, adorable, or unique.
• When creating illusions, it'll slowly drain him due to the need for concentration in order to create them.
• There were times where he couldn't control his full demonic form due to either panic attacks or uncomfortable rage. To prevent this, however, whenever there were signs of him transforming, he would take cannabinoids to keep him calm.
[Other/ Fun Facts]
• Whenever in a conversation he'll sometimes bring up references and facts.
• He has a lot of favorite animals in hell, though his most favorite are Dragons.
• Despite his murderous intentions and psychotic behavior, he's actually very genuine and kind once you get to know him better.
• His teddy bear acts both as a comfort item and as a memory of his mom back in the living world.
• Has a knack for bringing in animals and collecting antiques.
• Whenever he teleports, creates illusions, and manipulate or generates smoke. The color of the smoke will be Black & Red.
• Most of the overlords, except for the Vees, developed respect for him due to how powerful he is, which they'd never seen before, not since Alastor.
• His stuffed bear is sentient, meaning he can walk, eat, and understand people. Though he can't talk, he does make cute bear cub noises.
[Backstory]
• Matthew was a very good person in his early life. He was considered to be the sweetest, kindest, and most compassionate young man anyone has ever met, but that was before he moved to Spring Valley, Arkansas, which is one of the worst towns in America. There he became a target of bullying and prejudice to the point where he would get badly assaulted, harassed, and abused every day at school or in town for being both autistic and pansexual, but then one day he finally snapped and started killing not only his tormentors, but those he deemed "Guilty". From October 31st, 2021, to May 13th, 2022, he killed, butchered, tortured, and mutilated a total of 200 people and was later arrested and sentenced to "Spring Valley Sanatorium," where he would spend the rest of his life, but that was until a horrific fire happened in August, which killed half of the patients and staff, including Matthew. When he manifested in Hell, he arrived in the "Doomsday District" of Pentagram City where he stayed in for about a year till he saw a news report about a place called "The Happy Hotel" for those seeking redemption, but that wouldn't be the only thing he would find there, as it'll also be where he will start a new life and, possibly, a new family.
(Note: Might Edit once the show progresses.)
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