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#horse boi brekker
ketterdqms · 1 year
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One of my Fav. Fav. Show scenes were when Jesper broke the 4th wall and started saying:
“if we had a book what would it be called”😭😭
THEN AT THE CUT OFF POINT “The Five Of C-
HE WAS DEFINITELY GOING TO SAY CROWS LIKE WHAHIRIFIDJ THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING
oh and how Kaz Acknowledged Nina as one of the crows help i melted.
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tragediegh · 3 months
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Tag game: 9 Favorite Characters
I was tagged by @kevin-sedai and @twicetolivetwicetodie - thank you both! <3
1. The Fool/Beloved - Realm of the Elderlings
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2. Camilla Hect - The Locked Tomb
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3. Jamie Fraser - Outlander (Show Jamie in particular)
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4. Gideon Nav - The Locked Tomb
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5. Inej Ghafa - Six of Crows
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6. Kaz Brekker - Six of Crows
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7. FitzChivalry Farseer - Realm of the Elderlings
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8. Fleabag - Fleabag
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9. Han Solo - Star Wars
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No pressure tagging @thenightisland @avacanos @spending-life-pretending @spectrum-color @soggypotatoes @khutsydoh and @everywaythatmatters
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midnight-rain-fics · 1 year
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Willow
{Part 1 - Hoax}
{Fandom: Grishaverse}
{Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader}
Summary: Y/N and Kaz have been tip toeing around each other for a while now. Will jealousy be the final push that leads to a confession or is it heartbreak that’s waiting on the other side?
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“You know that my train could take you home
Anywhere else is hollow
I'm begging for you to take my hand
Wreck my plans, that's my man”
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Love was a cheap word in the barrel.
Love wasn't some prince coming to save you on a white horse or wake you from a terrible nightmare with a kiss.
Love in the barrel was found at the bottom of a whiskey bottle or at the tables with cards in hand. Love was losing yourself, slowly but surely or quickly and in one go.
But that's all it was.
A distraction. An escape.
But it never lasted. It wasn't meant to.
Y/N never thought she would end up loving someone, especially not in the Barrel. Love had been a hard pill to swallow, especially considering who she loved.
But she was stubborn. And she knew what she wanted. And if there's one thing she knew, love would never be a regret.
She would not let it be.
"Y/N, with me" The cold rasp of his voice still sent shivers down her spine.
Y/N huffed and stood up from the chair she was sitting on, she bid Jesper farewell, and grabbed her jacket, making her way towards Kaz.
"If it isn't the boy who doesn't like cookies" Y/N mumbled under her breath, fixing the sleeves of her jacket.
"What was that?"
"What was what?"
The look that Kaz gave her told her he knew exactly what she had said. But he chose to not say anything. They walked side by side and made their way to the docks.
There weren't any ships docked at the harbour and no one seemed to be around this late in the evening.
The silence was as heavy as the mist surrounding the harbour but Y/N wasn't going to break it. She wanted -needed- him to say something.
Kaz cleared his throat, gaining her attention as they came to a stop, "The cookies were good"
"I thought my baking was aptly edible"
"You must have known it was more than that"
Y/N shook her head and chuckled, pinching the bridge of her nose, "why do you always do this, Kaz?"
"What have I done to displease you now?" Kaz's voice echoed in the silence around them, his eyes on the sea.
He could not bear to look at her. Not when she looked at him like that. He had no right to return that look, to look into her eyes and lose himself, slowly but surely.
Y/N bit the inside of her cheek, it was now or never, "I've never known you to be someone who bites his tongue in front of people so why can't you say what you what to say?"
Kaz looked at her, his heart thundering in his chest as he finally met her eyes. There was an accusation in them that was pushing past his walls, urging him to answer; to let her in.
But he knew he couldn't. He did not want her to find what lay hidden behind his walls. Damage. So much damage.
No one could look past that. No one should. Especially not Y/N.
But Y/N was nothing if not unbelievably stubborn.
Kaz took a step closer to her, eyebrow raised as his eyes narrowed, "What is it you think that I want to say, Y/N?"
Y/N scowled, crossing her arms over her chest, "Don't play this game with me, Brekker"
"Resorting to last names, are we L/N?"
"I swear to saints, Kaz- "
"You don't want this, Y/N" Kaz clenched his jaw, his eyes glaring daggers into her own.
"You of all people don't get to tell me what I do or don't want, Kaz"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know exactly what it's supposed to mean"
"No, I don't" Kaz’s gaze hardened, hand clenching on the crow-headed cane, "so, why don't you enlighten me?”
Y/N found it harder to breathe with the tension that swirled in the air around them.
She sighed and steeled her spine. She couldn’t back down, not now, “you don't even know what you want, Kaz. You shouldn’t be telling me what I want"
"You don't know me as well as you think you do, Y/N"
"On the contrary, I have you all figured out"
"Don't be a brat, Y/N"
“Don’t be an asshole, Kaz”
Y/N could see Kaz’s knuckles had turned almost white from how tightly he was gripping his cane, grasping for whatever control he could find.
Too bad. There was no control in this situation. Only the slow unravelling of whatever had been brewing between them.
"What are you so stubborn?" Kaz gritted out, a blazing inferno of anger accompanying his tone. But at who? He couldn’t quite tell himself.
Y/N would be his ruination. He had known it from the day she had stepped into his office and his heart had given that first traitorous tug.
He had spent days trying to avoid her just so he wouldn’t have to feel, but like the stubborn person she was, she had been consistent in her approach.
He had let her in, before he even knew what that feeling in his chest was, what the constant pounding of his heart meant every time she was near.
He had let her in and she had seen the damage. And she stayed, despite his best efforts to drive her out.
Stubborn. So stubborn. Stupidly stubborn.
"I think it's a rather charming quality of mine" Y/N’s lips tugged up in a grin as she noticed the resignation starting to form in his eyes.
A scowl lined Kaz’s handsome face, "Annoying more like"
Y/N gestured between them with a smug air of satisfaction, "Pot meet kettle"
A quiet sigh escaped Kaz’s lips and his eyes lost some of their previous hardness. He took a step closer to Y/N, the air around them was slightly cold with mist, "I can't give you what you want, darling"
The nickname made her heart lurch but Y/N crossed her arms, standing her ground, "What do you think I want?"
"I can't touch you" The words were poison on Kaz’s tongue but he needed to get them out. He had to say what she couldn’t. What she wouldn’t.
"I don't need you to" the surety in Y/N’s voice was baffling to Kaz. She looked up at him with so much warmth it made his heartache, "I just want you. Even with the gloves and a thousand layers between us, I'd still want you"
"Y/N-"
Y/N cut him off, glaring at him, "I could find a hundred guys who could touch me, Kaz but I can't find another guy who knows me as you do"
“Would it be enough?”
"You've ruined me for anyone else. It has to be enough” The admission stole the breath out of Kaz’s lungs. Even in her most vulnerable moment, Y/N stood tall and proud. As if the very words she had spoken were nothing short of sacred.
Kaz’s throat bobbled as he looked into her eyes, the ground might have very well swept from under his feet and her gaze alone would have anchored him.
"That was never my intention" His voice was a whisper in the mist that surrounded them. Cold and quiet. And so fragile.
Y/N’s lips tugged up in a small smile, a touch melancholic, "I know"
A knife twisting in his chest and oils have hurt less than the sadness in her smile. What was he to do now? He had no words to comfort her, no touches to bring her surety.
“It will get better. It will… I will get better....with time”
Y/N bit her lip as her smile turned wider, “I know, Kaz”
They will be fine. She knew that. She always had. Kaz had just taken his sweet time getting there. And he still had a long way to go if the uncertainty in his shoulders was anything to go by.
"Y/N, the barrel is cruel and has no place for love but if there's one thing I can promise you, I would never let anyone hurt you" Y/N smiled, those words from Kaz Brekker were equivalent of a love confession. And the closest one she was getting from him now.
"You couldn't just say I like you too like a normal person, could you?"
Kaz raised an eyebrow, his heart settling down at seeing her smile so freely, "Would a normal person be able to do this?"
Y/N watched as Kaz touched the sleeve of her jacket, being cautious not to touch her skin and raising the sleeve slightly.
Her eyes widened as she noticed the emerald bracelet on her wrist, "How did you-When did you even get this?"
Kaz smirked and took a step back, putting some much needed distance between them. He watched Y/N run a finger over the emeralds. The blush covering the apples of her cheeks was as delectable as always.
Kaz cleared his throat and took out his pocket watch, checking the time, "Let's go, we'll be late for our reservation"
"What reservation?"
"Our reservation for dinner" Kaz’s smirk turned sharper as he looked at the confused furrow between her eyebrows, wanting nothing more than to smooth it over. Maybe he will, one day. "It's a date"
"A what now?"
"And you say I am the one terrible at communication”
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mcntsee · 9 months
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I will always protect you.
Summary: One promise, and three times Kaz kept it.
Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, mentions of alcoholism, mention of alcoholic tendencies, underage drinking. Bruises, blood, stabbing, violence. Usual SOC stuff. And a little bit of ooc kaz.
Notes: Their ages go; first, 4 and 5, then, 13 and 14, after that, 15 and 16, and lastly 18 and 19. With Kaz being the oldest of the two. Also, I don’t know how little kids talk, so I tried to express their age more with actions.
THE PROMISE:
Kaz Brekker, a mischievous five-year-old boy with jet-black hair and sharp blue eyes, found himself running through the bustling streets of Lij. He was on his way to buy candy from his favorite stall when, by chance, he collided with a four-year-old girl. She had bright, curious eyes and a mischievous grin of her own.
"Oof! Sorry," Kaz muttered, rubbing his arm where he bumped into Y/N. The girl giggled and brushed herself off. "It's okay. Are you hurt?"
"Nah, I'm tough," Kaz replied, puffing out his chest. "What's your name?"
"I'm Y/N," she replied with a small curtsy. "What's yours?"
"Kaz," he answered, a sly smile forming on his lips. "You wanna come with me? I'm going to buy some candy." Y/N's eyes widened with excitement. "Yes, please! I love candy!"
Hand in hand, they ventured through the vibrant market, their laughter echoing through the air. They marveled at the colorful stalls, the fragrant spices, and the musicians playing lively tunes.
"Look, Y/N, that stall has lollipops!" Kaz pointed, pulling her toward a display of rainbow-colored sweets.
Y/N's eyes sparkled as she picked a blue lolly. "You think we can eat them all?" To the question, Kaz grinned mischievously. "Duh!"
They spent the day running from one stall to another, devouring candy and experiencing the wonders of Lij. They laughed, spun in circles, and created their own little adventures.
As the sun began to set, Kaz and Y/N found themselves sitting on a park bench, exhausted and with a tummy ache but happy.
"Y/N, I think you're my best friend," Kaz said, leaning against her shoulder. Y/N smiled warmly. "And you mine, Kaz. Forever."
After their delightful day in Lij, Kaz and Y/N couldn't bear the thought of being apart. They made a pact to meet at the same spot where they had bumped into each other every single day. And true to their word, they showed up without fail, ready for more adventures.
Their daily escapades were filled with laughter and endless games. They chased each other through the winding streets, played hide-and-seek among the market stalls, and invented new imaginary worlds where they were heroes saving the day.
Sometimes, Kaz would take Y/N to his family's farm on the outskirts of town. With excitement bubbling inside, Y/N met Kaz's older brother, Jordie, who always had a playful smirk on his face. And there was Kaz's father, a strong and kind man who welcomed Y/N with open arms.
Together, the duo explored the vast fields, chasing butterflies, and picking wildflowers. Kaz and Y/N would compete to see who could climb the tallest tree, giggling with delight at their friendly rivalry. They would visit the animals, feeding the chickens and petting the gentle horses.
As time passed, their bond grew stronger, and their adventures became even more extraordinary. They braved make-believe battles against fearsome dragons, crafted secret hideouts with blankets and pillows, and dreamed of grand expeditions to faraway lands.
One sunny afternoon, as Kaz and Y/N sat on their favorite park bench with nothing better to do, Kaz turned to her with a curious expression. "Y/N, can I come to your house today? I want to see where you live."
Y/N hesitated for a moment before shaking her head gently. "I'm sorry, Kaz. Maybe another time."
Kaz furrowed his brow, not entirely understanding why Y/N didn't want him to visit her home. "Awe, but why not?"
Y/N glanced down, her voice softening. "It's just- my da... he can be a little mean sometimes."
Kaz tilted his head, still not comprehending the depth of the situation. "What do you mean, mean? Like he doesn't let you have candy?"
Y/N's eyes filled with a mix of sadness and fear. "Sort of, yeah- it's hard to explain."
Kaz could sense Y/N's discomfort, and he didn't want to press her further if it made her uneasy. He reached out and squeezed her hand gently. "It's okay, maybe some other day?"
Y/N's expression softened, grateful for Kaz's understanding. She gave him a small smile and leaned against his shoulder. "Maybe."
Kaz smiled back, reassuring her with his presence. He knew that sometimes people had difficulties, and what mattered most was supporting each other through it all, even if Y/N's home remained a mystery to Kaz for the time being.
After a while of some more talking, y/n glanced at her old pocket watch, eye’s widening when she saw the time. “Uh oh. I need to go Kaz.” hurriedly, she stood up from her previous spot, putting her watch back in its place. While she ran as fast as her little legs could, she heard her name being called by Kaz “See you tomorrow?” Without stopping or looking back she yelled “Duh!” and just like that, she was out of Kaz’s sight.
The following day, Kaz waited in their usual meeting spot for hours, but Y/N never showed up. Feeling a mix of disappointment, he eventually headed home to find his older brother Jordie.
“Jordie, something’s wrong,” Kaz exclaimed as he entered the house. “Y/N didn’t come today. I think she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.”
Jordie chuckled softly, trying to ease Kaz’s concerns. “Come on, Kaz. Y/N wouldn’t just ditch you like that. Maybe she had something important to do.”
Kaz sighed, still uncertain. “But she always keeps her promises. I think it’s because I asked to go to her house. Maybe I pushed too much.”
Jordie’s expression shifted, a hint of unease crossing his face. “What did she say, Kaz? Why couldn’t you go to her house?”
Kaz shrugged, oblivious to Jordie’s uneasiness. “Y/N just said her da is not very nice sometimes.” Jordie’s eyes narrowed slightly, concern deepening. “She even mentioned he doesn’t let her have candy! Can you believe that?” Jordie listened attentively to Kaz’s concerns, his worry growing with each word. He understood the weight of Kaz’s words about Y/N’s father but decided not to mention it directly to Kaz, wanting to shield him from unnecessary distress.
“Kaz, I understand that you’re worried,” Jordie said with a reassuring smile. “But trust me, Y/N is still your best friend. Sometimes things come up, and she might have had something important to take care of. Don’t jump to conclusions just yet.”
Kaz nodded, albeit still a bit unconvinced. “I guess you’re right, Jordie. I just miss her, that’s all.” Jordie gave Kaz a kind smile and patted his back lovingly “Also, you’re not supposed to be eating candy either, mister.”
One day turned into three, and although Jordie kept his worries about Y/N’s situation to himself, he couldn’t shake off the unease. He watched Kaz’s hopeful eyes and felt a sense of responsibility to protect his little brother’s innocence.
Days after, as Kaz sat at their usual meeting spot, the weight of worry had settled upon him. But this time, his anticipation shifted into sheer surprise as Y/N appeared, offering an apologetic smile.
Kaz’s eyes widened as he saw Y/N approaching, and he jumped up with excitement. “Y/N! You’re here! I missed you so much! Where have you been?”
Y/N’s smile flickered, and she looked down sheepishly. “Sorry, Kaz. I had important stuff to do. But I’m done now and I brought you a lolly!”
Kaz’s joy quickly turned to concern as he noticed the bruises on Y/N’s face and body. He furrowed his brow and asked, “What happened? You fall down?”
Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head. “I’m not really allowed to talk about it.”
Kaz’s protective instincts kicked in, and he thought for a moment. “Well, my da is really good at fixing things. Maybe he can help you. Would you like that?” Y/N hesitated but nodded.
Hand in hand, Kaz and Y/N made their way to Kaz’s farm, a sense of determination guiding Kaz’s steps. They arrived at the farm, and Kaz’s father greeted them warmly.
“Da, Y/N has some little cuts and bruises,” Kaz explained, concern evident in his voice. “Can you help?”
Kaz’s father knelt down, examining Y/N’s injuries with a gentle touch. “What happened?” he questioned hoping for an answer, sadly, he got the same response as Kaz. “I’m not allowed to talk about it.”
Once Kaz’s father finished cleaning up Y/N’s wounds, he sat down with a concerned expression on his face. “Honey, I understand that you can’t talk about it, but I want you to know that you’re safe here. No one will find out, and Kaz and I will keep this as our secret. Won’t we, Kaz?” The boy eagerly nodded.
Y/N hesitated, looking at Kaz’s dad with a mix of uncertainty and vulnerability. Slowly, she mustered the courage to speak. “My ma and da are both sick.”
Kaz’s dad nodded, encouraging her to continue. “Can you tell me more about it, Y/N?”
Y/N took a deep breath, her voice trembling. “Sometimes… sometimes they talk really weird, and they walk funny.” She paused for a second to look at Kaz’s confused face. “They sleep a lot too.”
Kaz’s dad’s face softened with understanding. “They’re alcoholics?”
Y/N looked puzzled, not fully comprehending the question being made. Kaz’s dad continued, trying his best to explain in a way that a young child could understand. “Sometimes, some people enjoy something that’s not good for them, like drinking too much alcohol. It can make them act differently and cause them to hurt themselves and others.”
Y/N’s eyes widened, realizing that Kaz’s dad understood the situation better than she expected. Encouraged by his empathy, she opened up a little more. “My da is really mean to me sometimes.”
Kaz’s dad’s expression turned solemn, and he pulled Y/N into a comforting hug. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Y/N. No one should ever be mean to you. You’re a kind and wonderful girl.”
Y/N fought back tears, feeling the warmth of Kaz’s dad’s embrace and the reassurance in his words. As he wiped away her tears, he gently asked, “Would you like to have a sleepover here tonight?”
At first, Y/N hesitated, worried about the potential consequences. “I should be on my way home before my dad gets angry at me.” she whispered.
Kaz’s dad gently took her hand and looked into her eyes with kindness. “You don’t have to worry about that here. I’ll talk to him, how’s that sound?”
Slowly, she nodded, finally letting herself accept the care and compassion offered to her. “Okay, I’ll stay.”
Kaz was thrilled to have Y/N stay for a sleepover, knowing they would get to spend more time together than ever before. He took her hand and led her up to his room, eager to show her all his new toys.
Hours passed as they laughed, played, and let their imaginations run wild. Kaz's room became a world of adventure, filled with shared stories and cherished moments.
But as the evening grew late, Kaz remembered he needed to say goodnight to his dad and Jordie. He quietly made his way downstairs, hoping to bid them farewell before returning to his room with Y/N. Just as he was about to reach the main living area, he overheard his father and Jordie having a conversation in hushed tones.
Curiosity got the better of him, and Kaz leaned closer, eavesdropping on their words. His heart sinking as he heard his da say, "Her father hits her."
Shock and anger coursed through Kaz's young veins. He couldn't fathom why someone would hurt Y/N, his dear friend. Without hesitation, he quickly said goodnight to his father and Jordie, a mix of determination and concern etched on his face.
Hurrying back to his room, he found Y/N, already lying down in her makeshift bed, waiting for him. He approached her gently, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. “I will always protect you, Y/n.”
FIRST TIME:
Recently, Kaz had suffered a broken leg, rendering him immobile and dependent on Y/N’s support. Determined to alleviate their hunger, Y/N made a solemn promise. “Don’t worry, Kaz. I’ll find us food. Your job is to rest and heal.”
With a sense of purpose, Y/N embarked on a risky endeavor to steal from those they deemed as “rich assholes.” It was a desperate act born out of necessity, driven by the dire circumstances they found themselves in. Little did Y/N know that Kaz, the restless boy he always was, had decided to secretly follow her.
Kaz hobbled along with a mixture of determination and worry. He understood the risks involved, but his loyalty and protective nature urged him to be by Y/N’s side. He remained hidden, his eyes fixed on his friend’s movements, marveling at her agility and resourcefulness.
Y/N, driven by desperation, resorted to pickpocketing in an attempt to secure food for both her and Kaz. If she was lucky, she could get more money than she would by working for the dregs for a week. She managed to successfully lift money from three unsuspecting individuals, but on her fourth attempt, her lack of experience betrayed her. The merchant she targeted noticed her actions and seized her wrist forcefully, yanking her forward while unleashing a torrent of anger.
“You little thief! Trying to steal from me, huh?” Y/N struggled to break free, her heart pounding in her chest. However, the merchant’s grip only tightened, preventing her escape. “I won’t let you get away with it!” Fear gripped her, and tears welled up in her eyes as she braced herself for the consequences of her actions.
Just as the merchant leaned in, ready to strike, Kaz, fueled by a surge of protective instinct, launched himself at the man, tackling him to the ground even though the pain in his leg was killing him.
“Leave her alone! Don’t you dare touch her!” The sudden attack caught the merchant off guard, giving Y/N a precious moment to pull away from his grasp. She stumbled backward, tears streaming down her face, but relief washed over her as Kaz shielded her from harm.
Kaz stood defiantly, his eyes blazing with determination. He wouldn’t allow anyone to harm Y/N, not while he was there to protect her. “You better stay away from us, or else you’ll regret it!” With that warning, Kaz extended a hand to Y/N, offering her support. She grasped his hand, her fingers trembling, and together they quickly retreated from the scene, their hearts pounding with a mix of fear and relief.
With their stomachs growling, Kaz and Y/N made their way to the bakery. Y/N’s heart raced, but luck was on their side for what seemed to be the first time in a long while. The stolen money she had managed to gather before getting caught was just enough to buy a loaf of bread, some meat, and cheese for Kaz.
As they walked back to their dilapidated “home,” a sense of relief washed over them. Amidst the worn-down buildings and bustling streets, Y/N’s eyes caught sight of a discarded cane. Acting swiftly, she snatched it, ensuring no one would notice its absence.
As Y/N handed the cane to Kaz, a mischievous glint danced in her eyes. Kaz accepted it with gratitude, but when he instinctively positioned it on the wrong side, Y/N couldn’t help but giggle.
“No, silly,” Y/N chuckled, gently correcting him. “The cane goes on the hand opposite the side that needs support.”
Kaz’s brows furrowed, momentarily perplexed, but he quickly adjusted the cane to the correct side, a sheepish smile forming on his face. “Oh yeah, that’s way better.”
“Thanks for saving my ass back there, Kaz” Struggling to match his steps with the cane, Kaz looked at her, “I will always protect you, Y/N,” he replied, his voice filled with sincerity.
SECOND TIME:
As Y/N turned 15 and Kaz reached 16, their lives continued to be a challenging dance with fate. However, a troubling change began to surface in Y/N’s behavior. Kaz noticed that she was increasingly reliant on alcohol, far beyond their occasional shared glass after a long day at Fifth Harbor.
It became apparent to Kaz that he rarely saw Y/N completely sober. Though she fluctuated between tipsy and heavily intoxicated, the presence of sobriety seemed to elude her. Concern etched across Kaz’s face as he observed the toll alcohol was taking on his dear friend.
He approached her room, where y/n was nursing a drink, and gently voiced his concerns. “You’ve been drinking a lot lately.” Y/n, defensive and caught off guard, shrugged it off with a dismissive tone. “Pff, come on, Kaz, ‘m just having fun. What’s the big deal?”
Kaz’s expression grew serious as he responded, “It’s not just about having fun anymore, y/n. It’s becoming a problem. Both your parents were alcoholics, and that makes it more likely for you to become one too.” He didn’t intend to bring back ugly memories, he just wanted Y/n back. His Y/n.
“Oh, so now you think ‘m like the asshole of a father I had? ‘s that what you’re saying?” But alas, luck was never really on his side, was it? Kaz hurried to explain, “No, y/n, that’s not what I meant. I’m just worried-“ But y/n was too defensive to listen. Her voice rose, and she interrupted him, “Just leave me alone, Kaz!”
Frustration built up within Kaz as he struggled to make his point. “I’m trying to help you, y/n! Can’t you see that?“
“I don’t need your help!
Their voices grew louder as the argument intensified. Hurtful words were exchanged, both knowing deep down that they didn’t mean them. In the heat of the moment, y/n’s drunken state led to a physical outburst - a push against Kaz. Stunned by the shove, Kaz felt a mix of anger and disappointment. He looked y/n in the eyes, his voice laced with bitterness. “Maybe you’re more like your father than you think.”
With those words hanging in the air, Kaz turned and walked out of y/n’s room, slamming the door behind him. The silence that followed was heavy with regret and realization.
Y/n, now alone, gradually started to comprehend the gravity of her actions. She felt a rush of memories flooding back - memories of her father’s destructive behavior and the pain it caused. The weight of her actions settled in, “Saints!”
Seeking clarity, y/n decided to take a cold shower, hoping it would sober her up both physically and mentally. As the cold water washed away the haze, she reflected on the hurtful things she had said and done. A couple of hours later, feeling completely sober, y/n mustered the courage to approach Kaz’s door.
Kaz opened the door, his face still wearing a frown, unsure of what to expect. Y/n took a deep breath and asked, “Can I come in?”
Hesitant, Kaz nodded and let y/n into his room. The atmosphere was tense, but y/n was determined to make amends. With a shaky voice, she spoke, “I’m completely sober now, Kaz.”
Kaz’s expression softened, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. He nodded and replied, “Good.” Feeling the weight of her actions, y/n continued, “I never intended for it to go that far, Kaz” her voice filled with remorse. Kaz sighed and took a seat on his bed, ready to lend a listening ear. He understood that y/n needed to talk, to find a way to make sense of the chaos that had unfolded.
With a deep breath, y/n continued, “I don’t even know when it started or how it got to this point. The need for a drink just became so overwhelming, and I couldn’t seem to stop myself.”
Kaz listened attentively, his eyes fixed on y/n, offering support without judgment. They spent hours talking, unraveling the underlying reasons for y/n’s struggle with alcohol and exploring the pain and insecurities that fueled it.
As y/n poured out her heart, Kaz remained by her side, offering guidance and understanding. He didn’t have all the answers, but he knew the importance of being there for y/n during this difficult time. He could see the genuine remorse and determination in her eyes.
With a sense of gratitude, y/n said, “Thanks for always being there, Kaz.” Kaz’s gaze softened, and he replied sincerely, “I will always protect you, y/n.” He reached a shaky hand out to her, “Even if it is from yourself.”
THIRD TIME:
The crows and their stupid heists. Y/N and Kaz sat together in Kaz's office, surrounded by the other members of the crows. The air was filled with anticipation as they discussed their latest heist to steal a valuable pocket watch, rumored to be worth a fortune in Kruge. The details of how Kaz had stumbled upon this job remained a mystery to the crows, except for Y/N, who knew it came from a whisper Kaz had overheard in the bustling streets of Ketterdam.
The heist was no easy task, but it also didn't compare to the complexity of their other endeavors- like breaking Matthias out of the notorious Ice Court. This realization brought a sense of confidence to the group, as they knew they had faced greater challenges and emerged victorious. As the planning session drew to a close, the crows dispersed, leaving Y/N alone with Kaz.
Y/N took a seat opposite Kaz, her expression filled with concern. Kaz, ever the enigma, raised an eyebrow and prompted her to share what troubled her. With a deep breath, Y/N spoke up, voicing her worry about the people of Ketterdam and their reliability. She confessed her doubts about trusting anyone in this city, especially considering the clandestine nature of the whisper that led them to the heist.
Kaz couldn't help but let out an amused laugh, breaking the tension in the room. He understood Y/N's concerns all too well. After all, his experiences had taught him that trust was a rare and precious commodity in Ketterdam. But he also recognized the inherent irony in the situation—that the whisper, despite its uncertain source, had provided them with a valuable opportunity.
"You're right, Y/N," Kaz replied, a hint of amusement lacing his words. "People in Ketterdam are not worth trusting, or at least not easily. But this whisper most likely came from some drunk idiot who couldn't keep his mouth shut. We'll tread carefully, as always."
Y/N nodded, a sense of relief washing over her. She trusted Kaz. She always has. Knowing that his keen intuition and meticulous planning would guide them through the heist. “Are you sure you are ok with taking the pocket watch with you for a couple days until I figure out what to do with it?” With renewed assurance she nodded and they set their sights on the task at hand.
As the day turned into night, the crows meticulously executed their plan. Each member played their part flawlessly, their individual skills and unique abilities synergizing to overcome the obstacles in their path. Their heist was a masterclass in cunning and precision, culminating in the successful acquisition of the pocket watch. Little did they know, however, that their triumph held a secret yet to be discovered.
Unbeknownst to Kaz and Y/N, the whisper did not come from just any drunk idiot, it came from y/n’s father and the pocket watch they proudly took, concealed a hidden tracker. It had been planted there by Y/N's own father—a revelation that would soon shake their world.
After the celebration ended, Y/N bid her comrades farewell and made her way back to her apartment, yearning for a well-deserved rest. Fatigue hung heavily upon her, demanding solace in the form of warmth and comfort. She set about preparing herself a cup of tea, the steam from the kettle rising lazily in the air. While waiting she decided that she had enough time for a much needed quick shower.
Unbeknownst to Y/N, her father, driven by a sinister agenda, had stealthily infiltrated her sanctuary. Hidden in the shadows, he seized the opportunity presented by the teapot, meticulously applying a deadly poison to the water within. Satisfied with his clandestine act, he retreated to a darkened corner, waiting for his daughter to return.
Blissfully unaware of the peril lurking within her own abode, Y/N continued her routine, seeking solace in the embrace of a soothing shower. The cascading water served as a respite, washing away the weariness of the day. Refreshed and unaware of the impending danger, Y/N emerged from the bathroom and made her way to the small kitchen, intending to savor the warmth of her tea.
With unquestioning trust, Y/N raised the cup to her lips and drained its contents in a single gulp. A moment later, a chilling voice pierced the silence, causing her to startle. "You know, you ruined my life," the intruder uttered, the words dripping with venom. Y/N's heart pounded in her chest as she realized she was not alone.
Reacting swiftly, a mixture of fear and determination coursed through her veins. She instinctively reached for a kitchen knife, her trembling hand clutching the handle tightly. Slowly and cautiously, she advanced toward the shadowy figure, her senses heightened.
As the figure laughed, the sinister sound echoing in the confined space, they taunted Y/N with words that struck like daggers. "Kill me if you'd like. It won't make a difference, by the end of the night, we both will be dead, dear daughter," they proclaimed, their voice seeping with a sinister resolve.
Y/N's mind raced, grappling with a flood of emotions. Fear mingled with confusion, but beneath it all, a fierce determination flickered. With every step, she steeled herself, ready to confront the threat that now loomed before her. The room became a battlefield, a clash of wills between a daughter seeking to protect herself and the malevolent force that sought to extinguish her existence.
As Y/N launched herself forward, driven by a potent mix of rage and self-preservation, her hand gripped the kitchen knife with a determination that bordered on desperation. With a swift and deliberate motion, she aimed for her father's abdomen, piercing his flesh and eliciting a pained gasp. Yet, even in his moment of agony, he mustered a twisted laugh, taunting her with the knowledge that her own life was destined to be cut short because of him.
The realization of her impending fate weighed heavily upon Y/N as she watched her father's life slip away. With each fading breath, he served as a macabre reminder of the torment he had inflicted upon her. But despite the finality of his demise, Y/N's heart remained heavy, burdened by the understanding that her own days were now numbered.
Her eyes fell upon her father's lifeless form, his body growing cold as the minutes ticked away. In a hurried gesture, Y/N searched his pockets, her hands moving with urgency. Her search led her to an empty glass, bearing the traces of the poison that had claimed so many lives before. She knew its deadly effects all too well, having witnessed its aftermath firsthand. There was no salvation for her now, only a slim chance of surviving until morning.
Driven by a sense of urgency, Y/N hurriedly descended to the dimly lit streets of Ketterdam. Amid the shadows, she spotted Rotty, a trusted member of the crew. With a sense of urgency, she thrust a note into his hands, her voice filled with a mix of desperation and determination as she implored him to deliver it to Kaz.
"Rotty," she called out, her voice laced with urgency. "Take this note. Deliver it to Kaz. Please hurry."
Rotty, recognizing the gravity of the situation, nodded solemnly, his loyalty unwavering. Without wasting another moment, he set off on his assigned task, the note clutched tightly in his grasp. Y/N watched his retreating figure, her heart pounding with anticipation and a glimmer of hope, praying that Kaz would receive her message in time.
In the midst of uncertainty, with the poison coursing through her veins, Y/N was acutely aware that the sands of time were slipping away, but she knew what she needed to do.
Rotty’s hurried footsteps echoed through the halls of Kaz’s office as he approached the door. He knocked, alerting Kaz to his presence, and without waiting for an invitation, he entered, his expression grave. Kaz’s sharp gaze locked onto Rotty, ready to inquire about the urgency that fueled his arrival. However, before a single word could leave Kaz’s lips, Rotty handed him the note and swiftly departed, leaving Kaz alone with the cryptic message.
Kaz’s eyes widened as he unfolded the note, revealing a simple white paper with a solitary lollipop drawn on it. To an outsider, this might have seemed perplexing, but to Kaz Brekker, it held a hidden significance. A sense of urgency surged through him as he recognized the unspoken message encoded within.
Kaz’s heart pounded in his chest as he raced to Y/N’s apartment, his mind racing with a million possibilities. The gravity of the situation only grew stronger with every step he took. When he finally arrived, he wasted no time and barged into the apartment, his senses on high alert.
The sight that greeted him was chilling—a man sprawled on the floor, surrounded by a pool of his own blood. Kaz’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the scene, the implications of what had transpired sinking in. Before he could utter a single word, Y/N emerged from her room, her face pale with a mixture of relief and anguish.
“My father,” Y/N whispered, her voice laced with a complex blend of emotions.
Kaz approached Y/N cautiously, his gaze locked onto her. He could see the fear and exhaustion etched across her features, the toll of the night’s events visible in her eyes. Her face drained of the color it usually had, hands and body slightly trembling. “What happened.”
Kaz listened intently as Y/N recounted the events, her voice filled with a mix of exhaustion and raw emotion. He could sense the weight of her words, the pain that laced every syllable. As she spoke, he noticed the omission—the crucial pieces of information she chose not to share.
“Y/N,” Kaz began gently, his voice laced with concern, “How did he find you.” Y/N hesitated for a moment, she knew. Of course she knew the stupid watch had a tracker, she knew the whisper wasn’t just any drunk asshole, but she couldn’t tell him. “I don’t know Kaz. Maybe I wasn’t careful enough.”
Y/n’s hand extended towards Kaz, holding out the bottle she had found in her father’s jacket. Kaz took the empty bottle from Y/N’s trembling hand, his gloved finger slowly swiping over it. Realization hit him and he knew, he knew he was about to loose his best friend. “I can’t die like this, Kaz. Not because of him.” Kaz’s face pales as he comprehends the gravity of the situation. He knows all too well that this poison means certain death, and he knew what y/n was asking, but the mere thought of being the one to take her life was unbearable.
“I can’t,” Kaz says, his voice filled with desperation. “I can’t do that y/n. Please.” Please. He was begging his brain to think of something else. To find a solution that wouldn’t take her away, not now, not ever.
She understands the pain it causes him, but she needs him, needs his strength and protection more than ever. With a flicker of determination in her eyes, she implores, “Please, Kaz, protect me one last time.”
Her words strike deep into Kaz’s heart, shattering it into pieces. He made a vow years ago to safeguard Y/N, and he never intended to break it, not now, not ever. With a shaky hand, she hands Kaz a dagger, its blade sharp enough to tear through her heart.
Kaz’s mind races, desperately seeking a way to keep her safe, to find an alternative. But the reality of the situation crashes down on him as y/n crumples to her knees, clutching her chest tightly. In that moment, he understands that there are no potions, no saint, no saving her from this fate.
Gently, Kaz sits on the cold floor of the apartment and scoots closer to y/n, carefully cradling her against his chest. He knows she doesn’t want to die at the hands of the man who tormented her for years.
With a heavy heart, he takes the dagger, holding it as delicately as he can, his hands trembling as he positions it on top of her heart. He wishes there was another way, a way to spare her this pain, but in this moment, protecting her means granting her final wish.
“I will always protect you, y/n.” And with a final kiss to her sweaty forehead, the dagger went right through her heart, forever stopping it.
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alltheworldsinmyhead · 3 months
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ain't no mountain (high enough)
Summary:
There is a wedding on a farm two towns over from Lij. Everybody talks / or, no trauma au
#no trauma AU #everyone is alive AU #Jordie Rietveld Lives #Family Drama #Wedding Fluff #Alternate Universe - 1950s(but very vaguely)#POV Multiple #POV Outsider #Kaz Brekker gets to have a mom #Inej Ghafa gets to be a blushing bride #awkward dinnertime conversations #cottagecore au #everyone is ooc because they are happy and mentally healthy #mentions of human trafficking #Culture Clashes #heirloom jewelry #all comfort no hurt #Happiness because they deserve it
LIJ AND TWO TOWNS OVER
The wedding is to take place on the Rietvelds' farm, two towns over from Lij. The banns are read in church a month before the set date; when the names of the bride and the groom are announced, a collective gasp spreads through the congregation like wind through a wheat field.
Soon enough, a small Suli caravan arrives in horse-drawn wagons, intricately painted in yellows and reds. Their women wear veils on their heads and their children are dressed in all manner of colorful clothes that the quaint Kerch countryside has never seen before. Ilke, the miller’s daughter, falls out of her window in her attempts to get a better look, getting a broken leg for all her efforts (but then again, Karl, the shoemaker says to anyone who would listen, she was never the shiniest apple on a branch, if you know what I mean). They set up a camp by the forest edge, on the border of Rietvelds’ and van Graafs' fields. The children sneak in closer to gawk at them and their parents pretend that they don’t notice it.
It is said that the younger Rietveld boy met his bride in Ketterdam, during his studies at the University, but what the girl was doing there no one knows and the tongues waggle feverishly.
There is, of course, a leading hypothesis, because what else could a Suli girl be doing in a big city, but the voices hush wherever even a strand of hair on Theresa Rietveld’s head shows up. Everyone and their mother knows she is very protective of her younger son and she doesn’t tend to hold her words back whenever she feels his character is judged unfairly (and she feels so fairly often, according to the general opinion of her neighbors. Insufferable woman. But who could blame her for placing all of her hopes in Kazimir, after Jordan– )
Whoever she is and whatever she did back in Ketterdam, there is one thing everyone can agree on when it comes to Miss Inej Ghafa:
She’s so pretty, the little girls sigh and their fathers nod and their mother shake their heads.
The bride-to-be rides in the wagon leading the procession down the dusty country roads, all dressed up with ribbons and paper-mache lanterns and flowers. Sitting underneath the garland of red geraniums, she is as radiant as the sun, a light-yellow veil spilling down her dark hair and a sheer scarf around her shoulders. She doesn’t rouge her cheeks or lips like the bolder local girls do and she doesn’t wear curls. Her beauty is a quiet, intriguing one, not drawing attention but making it hard to pull one’s eyes away once they find her. She watches everything, wide-eyed, and Lij watches her right back.
She meets their stares, openly. Boldly.
************read more on ao3**************
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ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes · 11 months
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The Phoenix and the Crow
part eleven
pairing: (hinted) kaz brekker x fem!reader
genre: netural
el's thoughts: this was the hardest part to write... and the shortest haha but it's here and done so there ya go. please remember to comment and reblog :)
masterlist
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The wind made Y/N’s hair dance wildly around her as she leaned her hip against the side of the ship. She had heard all about the uprising privateer’s flying ship but had never got the chance to be abroad. Her eyes closed as she relaxed at the feeling of the cold wind around her. She felt free and untethered while in the air, the same feeling she had felt the first time she rode her horse across the palace grounds. 
She circled around to look across the deck of the ship, mentally doing a head count of everyone on board. Nina stood beside Inej listening to whatever the suli spoke of with much interest. Jesper and Wylan were glued to each other's sides while they looked out at the water, pointing every once in a while to a fish they saw. Toyla stood at the wheel while Zoya paced the quarter-deck before waving her hands every so often to push the ship a bit faster. Kaz sat on the steps up to the quarter-deck with his leg stretched out in front of him, they made eye contact for a moment before Y/N smiled gently and looked away.
“Catch me!” The small voice was heard over the strong autumn winds that blew around them as the young child threw themselves into Y/N’s arms. She laughed and spun her brother around the best a ten-year-old could do to a six-year-old. 
“Oooh a stowaway on my ship?” She bounced him onto her hip to keep him up. He shook his head fervently as peels of laughter fell from his small pink lips. “You know what I do to stowaways?” She spoke in a loud voice making it deeper to fit the character she acted out. The little boy laughed louder, “No! No! Please!” 
“I’m sorry, young man, but it must be done!” She giggled as she tossed him into the giant pile of leaves their father gathered that morning. They both laughed louder as she threw herself down next to him.
The familiar clicking of a cane sounded from behind her and dragged her out of her memory. She didn’t need to turn around to feel him stand behind her. 
“You look better.” His voice was clipped but still seemed kind. Kind enough when coming from the bastard of the barrel that is. 
She scoffed, “What did I look bad before?”
Kaz shrugged, and the corner of his lips quirked upward. “You look healthy.”
She turned bashful now knowing the fact that he noticed her lack of strength the last few days. “I feel better… Must’ve been the hallucination, honestly.” 
“What did your toxin trip reveal to you?” He leaned closer on his cane, hardly noticeable but her sharp eyes caught it—the curiosity in his eyes. The same tiny spark of hope that she felt in her chest reflected in his eyes. But before she could give in and tell him what she saw in the hallucinations the Darkling’s voice echoed in her mind again. And instead of sharing and being open, taking the same step he did, the words that tumbled out of her mouth were the words that had been repeated to her all throughout her years at the Little Palace. 
“Hope is dangerous. Clouds your judgment.”
She didn’t tell him what she saw, how could she? She hardly knows this man despite the fact that her brain thought otherwise. She knows more about him than he knows of her. She’s pieced together some of his past and her heart ached for him. Life wasn’t fair and it was obvious in both of their lives. 
Y/N turned to look up at him as he leaned on the railing beside her. The need to tell him had come back and only grew stronger when she noticed the same curiosity across his face. “The Darkling. That’s who I saw.” It wouldn’t hurt to share some of it. “Reminding me of everything I could never have despite my childish wishes and dreams.” 
“From where we stood it looked like he reminded you just how powerful you are as well.”
She shook her head, “He reminded me of the monster he made me.”
“The Phoenix is hardly viewed as a monster. From what I’ve heard you’re just as much a Saint as the sun summoner. The most powerful inferni to walk the earth.” Kaz didn’t look at her as he spoke, only kept his eyes trained on the sea below them, his voice was almost teasing.
“Yeah, but I don’t want to be known as powerful because of my gift or- or because of the Darkling, or because of fear. I… I want to be powerful because I moved forward despite the odds. If people were to fear me, I want them to fear the name I built for myself.” She squeezed the rail under her hand. “I envy you for that reason… if I were to speak honestly.”
This caused him to look down at her, confusion swam in his eyes.
“You created a name for yourself, a name that brings people to their knees.” The pair smirked at the memory of the Dime Lions’ gambling den. “Literally.” 
A warm feeling grew in Y/N’s chest at the easiness of the conversation. There was nothing strange or awkward about talking to him, she felt like she could tell him anything even though she knew it was best not to. She wondered if he felt the same ease of the conversation or if it was all just in her head, but from the look in his eyes and his relaxed shoulders, it was safe to assume he felt it. 
“It’s fake.” A dark look flashed over Kaz’s face as the words fell from his lips. “My name, it’s fake.”
Y/N only nodded, moving so her back was against the handrail. “Kaz is a fake name?”
“Brekker.” His eyes met her’s for a moment before looking away. “Brekker is a fake name.”
She hummed, “We all do things for reasons only we know.” Twisting her fingers around each other, she sighed. “There are plenty of things I’ve done that if I had taken the time to actually think it through… I wouldn’t have made those choices, but in the end I’m standing here today and I wouldn’t be if I hadn’t made thoes choices. So, I wouldn’t change anything.”
“I wouldn’t-” Kaz was interrupted by Toyla shouting that they made it. Inej, Nina and Zoya all walked to one side, waiting for Y/N. 
The inferni gave Kaz a tight smile, “Well, I’m off.” She pulled her shoulders back as she walked to where the other girls stood waiting. 
Kaz watched in astonishment as the girl with whom he had just carried an intimate conversation with slipped back into the formal behavior that came with being a soldier. It was as if she had put back on a stoic and formal front, slipping back into her all too familiar mask. It was as if Y/N had only allowed herself a short break from such a pretense for those few private moments with him.
~*~*~*~
taglist:@rachelcarroll1819 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @khaleesihavilliard @simrah1012 @foulkryptonitepeanut @astridyoo15 @queenofshinigamis @peakyispunk @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @winstonthecow22 @lee-says-things @bunneex @writingmysanity @sleepynightchild @madnessinwrighting @romanticvampire
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whitedemon-ladydeath · 5 months
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I feel like Rhys would be more interesting for me if SJM made up her mind on what kind of character he is supposed to be. If he's the "ideal man" then why write him performing textbook acts of abuse. the "ideal man" who is the pinnacle of Healthy Relationship Material cannot really mesh well with grey morality
part of being a morally grey character is,, the fucked up morality that "normal" characters would be like "dude wtf" which you can see with characters like Kaz Brekker and to an extent Damon Salvatore. Their grey morality is tied to their actual personhood and their actual sense of morality. they're not haunted by their actions. it is *within their morality* in their own ideals of what they consider right and wrong
Rhys' "grey morality" is tied to that of his "mask" and then he gets so tortured by how he just has to hurt all these people for the "greater good" my good dude that's not morally grey. a morally grey character is going to see it as worth it and not blink an eye bec it was what needed to be done- see Kaz literally ripping out that dudes eye and not blinking about it while everyone else was like what the fuck
Rhys is written closer to a character similar to Stefan who is just so tortured and the narrative and the people around him (and by extension many of his Stans™️) will go out of their way to completely forgive all the problematic shit he did bec he "has a pure heart" or "hes an addict tho" or whatever and it's easier to excuse when he's standing next to Damon, who is outwardly fucked up and problematic in such an obvious way (Rhys next to Tamlin or even Nesta)
she Wants him to be a morally grey bad boy but he's not *written* like one. he's not allowed to be problematic the way morally grey characters are problematic. Morally Grey characters are inherently toxic and problematic and often to the point where they can be/are abusive
but also, it's the fact that he just,,, doesn't have any real character growth outside of MAF. he becomes stagnant. his characterization doesn't really change. he keeps lying to Feyre. His actions don't really change bec the narrative doesn't challenge him to bec he's "the ideal man"
Hell Rhys taunting Tamlin in TAR was interesting and entertaining for me to read but when we get that in later books from his POV with Tamlin literally just beaten down and having had given up there is nothing to gleam from that. it's beating a dead horse, it's kicking someone while they're down. it's not taunting, it's not entertaining where someone can snap back, it's just demeaning and cruel at that point like fuck just leave him alone and maybe stop trespassing
I'd probably view Nesta and Rhys' beef differently if he didn't abuse political and magical power over her- if the narrative itself didn't immediately side with Rhys as objectively in the right despite lying and abusing his power over her. and maybe to an extent I'd forgive it if we had more scenes with them where they, more or less, buried the hatchet and let their relationship actually develop and build nuance
he gets boring. no one pushed back against him in a way that actually challenges the plot or Rhys, outside of Maybe Nesta when she told Feyre about the pregnancy but even then that went out of its way to vilify Nesta and not Rhysand for putting the gag order in place in the first place
like maybe if SJM committed to a Side with Rhys or actually got the plot to challenge him and give him actual growth I'd be more interested in his character. Right now he's just boring. and he's a dick. and not in the way I find very entertaining in characters
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fave-fight · 9 months
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ROUND 1: FIGHT!
I’m keeping the order a surprise. :) I’ll update as each poll is posted.
This tournament is Round Robin, which means EVERY CHARACTER WILL GO UP AGAINST EVERY OTHER CHARACTER! So, don’t worry when you’re voting. Your blorbo will be here for every round. You will get to vote against Elon Musk every round.
Master Post
Rounds
Harry Du Bois vs Obi-Wan Kenobi
Cutting an onion vs Plato
Kirby vs George Costanza
Spiders Georg vs Medic
TBH autism creature vs fave-fight
Archibald vs Candace Flynn
Oliver vs Cecil Palmer
Diogenes the Cynic vs Kokichi Oma
Utatane Piko vs Jonathan Sims
Kaz Brekker vs Isabelle
V1 vs Jerma
Goose vs Arven
Magikarp vs Jesus Christ
Proinsias Cassidy vs You, the Voter
IT’S ME BOY IM THE PS5 vs a lot of spiders
Kanatsune Ame vs Nana Hiiragi
Elon Musk vs Groundskeeper Willie
Reigen Arataka vs Vi
Inigo Montoya vs Franziska von Karma
Little Mac vs Volo
Yuzuki Yukari vs Dick Grayson
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz vs Rainhaze
Elaine Benes vs Harley Quinn
Alejandro Burromuerto vs Stanley Pines
Wheatley vs johnsonofdonut
Dr. Coomer vs Floyd Leech
Your mom vs vFlower
Kiryu Kazuma vs Minamoto Tiara
Perry the Platypus vs Inej Ghafa
Jughead Jones vs Finfin
Alex Louis Armstrong vs Howard Hamlin
Apollo Justice vs Connecticut Clark
Cave Johnson vs Ea-Nasir
prinxe-with-no crown vs The Knight
Peridot vs Susie
Ace Trappola vs Kanade Yoisaki
Guzma vs Mr. Rogers
Kim Possible vs JJ McGermanotta
Gomez Addams vs Fukase
Half Light vs Miss Piggy
L Lawliet vs a horse
Peri Dubois vs Sam Vimes
Sakurai Haruka vs socks-wizard-money-gang
Chuuya Nakahara vs Kevin
David Xanatos vs Light Yagami
Odysseus vs Miette
Duck Newton vs Mei Dragon
Nino Lahiffe vs Goose
“Me” The Aspiring Anime Character Puncher vs Sunny
Conan Edogawa vs Domovoi Butler
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not-a-big-slay · 1 year
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Cruel summer
Kaz Brekker x gn!reader
I'm drunk in the back of the car
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar
Said, "I'm fine, " but it wasn't true
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you
And I snuck in through the garden gate
Every night that summer just to seal my fate
And I screamed for whatever it's worth
"I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"
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summary: it was always complicated with him, but when alcohol starts to question your situationship, you decide to let it all out...
warnings: alcohol, drunk confession, mentions of blood (non- violent)
a/n: did you know im obssesed with writing fics to taylor's songs? anyways, i had this idea on a long car ride, listening to this song and i wanted to write this for the longest time. its super similar to my fic jigsaw, but what can i say, im a sucker for drunk confessions. i made it gender neutral, so its told like "you did this" ,"he looked at you" etc. also, why tf did i think that gn reader means goodnight and that it means something similar like SFW. my first post in 2023, enjoy :)
Your blinking was slower and slower, eyes focusing on your floppy feet that tried to gain balance with every step. You thought you did a good job with not falling, thinking of it as a miracle, yet you entirely ignored the gentle force on your hip, navigating you outside. "When you said we should get a drink, I thought of one, not...several" Jesper with his hand on your side stopped mid-sentence, thinking about the number of drinks you talked him in to, but failed due to his own drunk self. His voice had a surprising echo, and you soon realised so did the other noise around you. Strangers' laughs entered your ears repeatedly, as if they were worried you wouldn't hear them the first time, horses' hooves stepped in front of you and their impact with the stone ground rang like church bells at midnight.
You were so taken by the magic sound that you didn't process Jesper pushing you up into some dark room and almost didn't feel the smooth hands pulling you in. Unwillingly, you fell down, but luckily sat on something soft. You noticed Jesper sitting down next to you and in a moment you were on the move. Oh, carriage, you thought. You adjusted your eyes and looked at the person in front of you, noticing the familiar long straight hair. You smiled and mumbled: "Hi, Inej.". She smiled a little at your drunken face, but was quickly filled with concern. "Whose great idea this was? I swear only you two could get this wasted." she sighed and her hands reached under her, pulling out two bottles.
"Thank you." said proudly Jesper and Inej rolled her eyes. Excitment filled you upon seeing her hands streching to you with the bottle grasped between. You accepted it and brought it to your lips, thinking of the bittersweet taste you drank at the bar, but it was dissapointing when your mouth tasted the cold blunt liquid. Water. You closed the bottle, setting it next to you and said to Inej: "You wouldn't be mad if you were with us. That's on you."
"You should be thankful that I'm even here at this hour." she toughened her voice, but didn't raise it. She knew it was enough to woke up some sense in you. When you two were silent, she continued: "So? Which one of you idiots had this idea?". Jesper didn't speak, however his eyes did when they shot at you. A few hours ago, you met him outside on his regular night door-watching and convinced him- very easily- to grab a drink with you. You needed a distraction in the chaos surrounding you. After a while of trying to shake their gaze off you, you sighed in defeat. "Fine," you exclaimed, "it was me. I just needed to clear my head, and hang out with Jesper, it's been far too long." you crossed your arms and winked at the boy beside you, but a scoff from Inej made you look at her. "Please, we see each other all the time, even Wylan is getting sick of him." she spoke truly, watching Jesper getting offended, but redirected her eyes on you.
She knew of your situation, how could she not when she's almost invisible and nosy. You and Kaz were far over inconspicuous looks and light touches, but boldly flirting at any moment. It wasn't Jesper's style of flirting, but just fearless remarks or answers that made you blush and fastened your heart. It also threw you into overthinking and uncernity of your bond with him. Sometimes it made you think the flirting covers more serious feelings, but often it sang with a friendly banter. It drove you crazy, took many hours of your sleep, and you knew it wouldn't matter if your stupid heart didn't fall for him. When you witnessed Wylan and Jesper's cat fight, you thought it was obvious for both of them that they like each other and they just were afraid to make the first move- even though that didn't go as planned, according to Jesper- or just enjoyed their wordplay. Now you weren't so sure, but you refused to ask the sharpshooter. He would only make fun of you or wouldn't take it seriously. "You seriously fell for him? This must be a dream" you already heard him say and his laugh caused goosebumps on your skin.
"I'm fine." you told her slowly, trying to convince her of your lie and subconciously wrapped your coat over you. Before visiting Jesper, Kaz stopped you in the hallways and was interested in your way outside. "I just thought of getting a drink with Jes." you said and quickly added "or anyone that would like to join." after realizing the Zemeni boy is supposed to be working. He didn't seem fazed by your answer though, probably used to Jesper disobeying orders, and just nodded in understandment. You weren't in the mood to talk to him, the redness in your eyes caused by your regular overthinking was still visible and you wished he would fail to take notice, so you smiled at him and continued your way down, then he stopped you with your biggest weakness.
Him saying your name.
You turned to look at him and noticed his reached out hand holding a coat. You realized you forgot yours in the bedroom when you went to complete the idea of getting drunk. You took it carefully, as though it was a bomb sensitive to touch. You put it on and thanked him shortly, trying to get down the stairs with your shaky legs.
No, you weren't fine.
Inej seemed dissatisfied with your answer, but didn't push. You smelled the scent again, the same thing that made you ordering shots. The smell of leather, gunpowder and his perfume. If the world ever ran out of oxygen, you were sure this would keep your heartbeat going. You wanted this scent to cover you, to soak in your skin and to flow side by side with your blood. Maybe that was the alcohol, but you needed this to happen, right away if possible.
A plan started to form in your mind as the carriage came to a stop and Inej helped you out. She grabbed your hand and placed it over her as she placed her other hand over your hip on the stomach, making her way into the Slat. Jesper walked along, he wasn't as wasted as you and capable of getting in his bed. Once inside, you wished goodnight to him quietly, wondering why Inej beside you flinched and every person still up looked at you weirdly.
When you were upstairs, you stopped Inej before Kaz's door. She looked at you and then in the direction you stared intesively in. "This isn't your room." she explained and tried to continue walking, but you stayed glued on the floor. "I need to do this." you mumbled and looked at her as if she knew what you were talking about.
She sighed: "Can't you do it tommorow? Sober?". You just shook your head. Tommorow you would be fully aware of everything and probably would talk yourself out of it, while right now, you wouldn't feel the consequences fully and could say what you truly feel. Inej stood silent for a moment, thinking whether she should let you fuck up or violently get you to bed. Joy filled you when she just sighed loudly and whispered "whatever" to herself. You waved her and she returned that action in a form of shaking her head and a frown. You took a deep breath and brougth your fist up.
After knocking and regaining balance because of the knocking, the door gradually let you see inside. Soon you were looking at the face of the man you cried for, all confused. "What are you doing here?" he said, but didn't stop you when you pushed passed him to get inside. You needed to cover your tears that already, without saying a single word, treatened to show. You wondered if you could do this. "Are you hurt?" he asked, obviously concerned. He's right to assume this, not every day someone knocks late at night, eager to get in.
"Yes." you admitted and turned to him. He noticed your tired eyes and a fazed out expression. "You're drunk." he observed, his tone did not sound angry or dissapointed, you could only hear the concern he was filled with and that was slowly tearing your heart apart.
"That's irrelevant" you waved your hand, blowing the fact away, so it wouldn't get in your way when talking. He leaned back on his table, supporting himself with his hands and streched out his bad leg: "Of course it is.". You hated this position, it made your knees weak. "What's important is who hurt you." he explained again. You giggled silently, shaking your head, and looked down. His protective trait was one of your favorites. It either made you feel loved or mocked, but right now you felt none of those options. After a moment you looked up.
"Guess."
Kaz sighed: "Y/N, I won't play some stupid game when you're in pain." His annoyance could be heard in the Crow Club and yours could be more visible than your drunkeness. "I'm fine!" you said harshly immidiately after him, "Now guess.". He sighed again after your repetetive plea. He studied you for some time, giving in on your request. "Come on, it's not that hard." you cheered him on, "I supposed someone like you would get it easily.". He can improvise based on little clues about a person, guess and threaten them with their secret he only assumed they had, yet he cannot see his own damage.
You growled impatiently. "Forget it, of course you wouldn't know, you don't even know what you want!" you yelled and started to walk around, surprisingly stable. What you said though wasn't true. You knew what you wanted and still didn't do anything to get it. You were both at fault for your pain and cries, it wasn't fair pinning it on him. Kaz calmly watched you go a few rounds around his room and waited 'till you slow down. "Go to sleep." he said when you finally stopped due to tears announcing their arrival. "No." you whispered, not knowing if it's to him or to your watery eyes. He still spoke: "You're wasted."
"Yet I'm still aware of my feelings! Whiskey didn't help, unfortunetly!"
Concern filled his eyes again upon seeing the tears drowning your eyes. His back straightened, but he didn't step closer to you. You laughed and allowed yourself to cry. Hands wrapped you tightly into Kaz's coat. "I love you, you prat!"
A thing about you when you're drunk is that sometimes, you say things you only think about, without even realizing it. The two of you were taken aback at the same time. Your eyes widened, making eye contact, both of you couldn't believe what you just heard. You were the first to react and laughed, bending forward and back. You looked at him again, a small smile on your face while your gaze took in every detail.
"If this ain't the worst thing you've ever heard." you said. Exhaustion creeped up on you, you knew that sooner or later you will fall asleep, no matter where you are. Kaz was looking down, his expression unreadable. You blinked slowly for a moment, trying to fight the fatigue. It was harder than closing them, but you managed to open your eyes and glanced back at the man, also looking like he fell asleep on the spot. You watched him, mouth opening to say something, when you spotted it.
A smile.
No, a grin. A wide, evil grin appeared on the cold, numb face. Fear suddenly rushed into you. You saw Kaz smile just once and it was before he violently murdered someone. Not a good sign, you thought. Any courage of saying words was gone, you just waited what he will do next. It was like watching a deadly animal, just standing in front of you while you tried not to disturb it. You almost flinched when he looked up, his grin smaller than before yet still shameless. You held your breath, afraid to trigger something invisible in the air, and waited for his voice to reach your ears.
"You should go to sleep."
There it was, the goal of your plan, the dream of your longest nights. You exhaled, surprised but relieved. Eyes found his and you could read him like an open book, finding the mutual feeling you longed for a long time. You smiled and nodded at his words, but when adrenaline left you, the exhaustion filled you completely. You fell back onto his bed, unaware it was there in the first place. He walked over to you, so close you could see the real details on the cane, and gently lifted up your head by the chin. Your eyes were closing, all of your power tried to keep them open. You decided it was time to stop Kaz from studying your dozed off face.
"Can I sleep here?" you weren't sure if you would made it back to your room now, so without waiting for the answer, you laid back and closed your eyes. You heard Kaz walking and a chair shifting. His scent was all around you, sinking into your skin, hopefully flowing in your veins by now. You grabbed the coat and squeezed it onto yourself tightly. Kaz's wide grin was the last thing on your mind before falling asleep.
He looks up grinning like the devil.
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therealwylanvaneck · 1 year
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you know the way people at school will search your name on google? Yeah when you search up mine you find horse boi brekker.
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ketterdqms · 1 year
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Jesper: KAZZLE DAZZLE
*Kaz giving the side eye hes been serving all szn 2*
Kaz: Jesper if you are to utter those words again i will-
Jesper: *protests* But it’s perfect! It’s literally the best nickname. I know you get jealous when Inej calls me Jes
Kaz: I will seriously show you the consequences of your actions if you don’t shut-
Inej: Kazzle Dazzle, It’s okay calm down
Kaz: *faintly smirks* (clearly loving the nickname)
*Inej and jesper share a knowing look*
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Placing different characters into TWST
Gonna merge characters from different books I’ve read into twst wonderland not even disney shit i dont care ( FT: howl pendragon, chrestomanci, wizard derk, melkor, feanor, sauron, maeglin, ezra squall, Prince Talithan, zaknafein, jerricho barrons, runaan, aaravos, viren, kaz brekker and the rest of the Crows, low key lothaire)
Howl Pendragon would be someone from another world who purposefully found some way to get through the mirror and become an NRA student. Every time for holidays he either hangs out to do research or spends his time back home in Wales lying his ass off about his college to his sister. And yes in school he uses his fake name he would at first be in Scarabia but later transferred to Octaniville. He’s also in the Spelldrive club and will absolutely join in the championship against RSA. He would go to RSA pretending to be Silvester Oaks and have this double life just to get as much shit as possible. 
Chrestomanci / Christopher Chant, he came here from another world (his own) he’s trying really hard to get back and is also lying his ass off about being a student and absolutely no one notices except for Professor Trein. He would be in Heartslabyul, makes friends with Howl since Howl seems to know a lot about dimensional magic. He would be around investigating everything and getting into everyone’s shit so that he could get closer to his goal of leaving. He definitely gets into hijinks with Howl to perpetrate Crowley’s office and living quarters. He’s very vague so Riddle gets pissy when he acts like that but he has very little against him since Chrestomanci knows all the rules and just uses as many loopholes as he can find. If we put Chrestomanci as his attitude when he’s an adult he’d be in Pomefiore but for teen Chrestomanci its absolutely Heartslabyul. (from the chronicles of Chrestomanci he’s not the main character not until the third book but he is an all powerful enchanter that had nine lives)
Prince Talithan, he’s an dark elven prince who is a little murder happy, loves pegasi, he’d be in Diasmonia because he’s an immortal all powerful elf. He doesn’t mind doing what Malleus says so but he definitely does not like it when Sebek bosses him around, has no opinion on Silver, at first didn’t like Lilia but Lilia schooled him and now he has massive respect for Lilia. (btw this is an elf from Dark Lord of Derkholm his role in that story was to lose his mind over a baby pegasus and to kill people). 
Wizard Derk, Ignihyde absolutely, he wants to live a quiet life and just goes along with the flow but he manages to be friends with Talithan because they’re both in the Horse riding club and Talithan is just blown over with how great he is with horses. He should have been in RSA but managed to get in NRC and he’s stuck here now. A very good boi all things considered has a girlfriend he’s devoted to and she’s very badass in his eyes. I want him to accidentally be friends with Malleus and now they just vibe together with Malleus going on about Gargoyles and he’s just like listening politely while wondering if he can make a gargoyle come to life or an animal that resembles a gargoyle. (he’s from the same story as Talithan and in that story he likes making hybrid animals with magic and giving them human sentience also he makes friends with the king of the dragons AND the king of demons) 
Ezra Squall, THIS BITCH would be in Scarabia. He’s is a conniving motherfucker and Jamil is stressed with his existence low key wants him to move to Diasomnia because he’s stupidly strong in magic. Very studious kinda full of himself joins no club because he’s off doing things on his own that no one really knows about. He would have taken over Scarabia but he saw what went down with Jamil and decides to think more on it later. (from Nevermoor by Jessica Townsend he is the main villain for the series and i haven’t read the latest one yet. He wants the main character of that story to join him and be evil and powerful and to fight some other evil force and also he used to be really hot so yeah)
Melkor, Diasomnia no question. Hates Malleus being the housewarden and challenges him pretty often, he’s actually almost on par with Malleus and gets really salty about not winning and talks on and on about might as well making his own dorm and being generally disruptive. Malleus is just there like oh well good game u did what u did. Melkor is also very intimidating so him and Malleus both have a infamous background but with him it makes more sense and its far more risky to talk to him. Spends his time trying to convince Mairon to either join in his idea to make up their own dorm or help him take over Diasomnia. (in my eyes he will be the rebellious teenager of Eru and created heavy metal and goth in fact he’s also literally called Morgoth to which my brain will attribute to More goth. if u didn’t know he’s from the Silmarillion written by jrr tolkien)
Mairon, is in Scarabia he’s very similar to Jamil except that he doesn’t really care for Kalim and his shenanigans. Ezra has tried to get him on his side but he’s already dealing with Melkor so he has no time to even bother. Very studious and is the only reason Melkor studies at all. He kind of likes the idea of a new dorm wouldn’t be so bad for the Great Seven to have a new addition wouldn’t it? I personally dont want him to be good at spelldrive skskksksksk. I want him to struggle on a broom dont ask why. He’s favorite teacher is Crewel I don��t know where i got this but I just FEEL IT. (sauron this is sauron )
Feanor, he’s also in Scarabia. Tells Melkor to fuck off regularly also tells Ezra to fuck off regularly. Studies a lot and is so pissed that Riddle is top at everything. It’s a one sided competition. Dislikes Azul’s study guides, he wouldn’t be part of the spelldrive club but in the vs RSA i think he’d try out because he would ya know. (silmarillion made many bad decisions he’s an elf, had a lot of hot sons)
Maeglin, he would be in Ignihyde. Idia is scared of him, Ortho thought he was pretty normal and doesn’t mind him too much. he’s got some kind of shit going on for some reason he got moved to RSA and it went BAD for everyone involved it went TERRIBLE. and then he dropped out of school never to be heard from again. (also silmarillion has an evil sword that says evil stuff to him also an elf but his dad is like evil or something)
Jericho Barrons, I’m including him because I feel like he’d be a villain anyway and also he definitely should die at this point like this bitch should not be alive for many good reasons. He’d be in Svanaclaw like no question, used to be one of Leona’s former vice housewarden but challenged him and didn’t win. which is GREAT because I get to humiliate him everyday with his failure heheh. He helps jack but he does it in an asshole-ish kind of way even WORSE than Leona but Jack is just like THANKS MAN and it throws him off. He thinks Ruggie is an opportunistic floormat so they don’t get along but Ruggie doesn’t give a shit about him lmao. (he’s from the fever series by karen marie moning)
Zaknafein, Svanaclaw this guy packs punch but is very low key doesn’t mind Leona that much helps Jack out with training and shit gives him tips and then goes off to be alone. I love him very much but man I bet he’s tired of just women in general because they’re kind of the biggest reason he’s got a lot of issues so being in an all boys school helps. He’s kind of in it for himself probably joins some kind of self defense club where he’s ridiculously good at. (this is the father of Drizz’t Do’urden he dies in literally the first book its called the Legend of Drizzt by RA Salvatore) 
Runaan, also Svanaclaw vibes with Zak they don’t do much and they do as they’re told. Definitely takes a distanced mentor role to a lot of the freshmen. (he’s from the dragon prince)
Aaravos, Octanivelle, vibes well with azul kinda doesn’t like Diasomnia and takes issues with Sebek but he doesn’t show it. goes along well with Azul but azul definitely thinks SOMEthing is up with him. Jade and him get along on the surface but deep down its a passive aggressive war. Floyd doesn’t care about him. Runaan already dislikes Octanivelle because of Azul and his shenanigans with the tweels but Aaravos just makes it worse ya know. 
Kaz Brekker, Octanivelle absolutely he’s definitely gunning for that house warden position and he’s plotting. Jade is the only one who suspects his intentions but he keeps it in because he thinks this could be interesting. Azul thinks he’s okay and he’s very business smart aa good and reliable member of Octanivelle. He hates Floyd because Floyd always breaks his personaly space and triggers him and Floyd thinks its funny. Help kaz somebody-
Jesper Fahey, heartslabyul that’s his general vibe would get along well with Ace and Deuce, is pretty chill with Cater but he doesn’t always follow the rules so gets in trouble with Riddle a lot. He’s friends with Kaz and Inej they hang out together a lot and does as Kaz tells him to. 
Wylan Van Eck, was in Pomefiore moved to Heartslabyul, he is a mess fails the rules not on purpose so he gets a lot of flack for it from riddle. He’s definitely friends with ace and deuce and trey just kinda lets him hang about because he feels bad for Wylan. Wylan manages to join in the group through Jesper and does his best.
Inej Ghafa, I was going to just do guys but I dont want to break up the crows so I’m putting her and nina here. She’s in Octaniville with Kaz but she was in pomefiore and was miserable so she and wylan connect over that. Kaz helped her move into Octanivelle and she helps him out with his stuff like distracting Floyd and he decides to plague Kaz. She’s on good terms with Jade and Azul since she doesn’t do anything bad but she never works on the floor she’s always on the back of monstro lounge. Jade thinks its hilarious to watch Inej and Kaz because he can tell they like each other but they dont act on it.
Nina Zenik she’s in pomefiore and enjoying herself she just blends in there very well and is okay with Rook. Nina helps out Epel from time to time. Vil doesn’t take issue with her unless she specifically doesn’t listen to him. She and Matthias got into trouble together and they managed to get themselves out of it but she had to throw him under the bus to avoid an even worse outcome which Matthias hasn’t really forgiven her for. Azul almost convinced her to take a contract to help her with Matthias but Kaz managed to sneakily give her a better proposition and one that doesn’t involve sacrificing her unique magic so she takes him on his request.
Matthias Helvar, he’d be in Svanaclaw he would be in the spelldrive club. Leona is far too laidback for his liking, Ruggie is okay but he’s wondering how he gets on in Svanaclaw, jack is a friend he hangs out with time to time. He joins in with Kaz’s group of people who are trying to one up the octrio in secret because Kaz helped him out of the trouble with Nina although it takes him a really, really long time to forgive her and become sensible. im too emotional to put anything further in here i have not moved on.
I was going to put in my favorites from the IAD series but all of them would be in Svanaclaw so im not even going to bother lol except for Lothaire he’d be in Diasomnia and he wouldn’t give a shit about anyone. 
I’m not gonna put every one I want to because there would just be so much and this list would be wayyyyyy too long. 
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frost-queen · 1 year
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Hii I hope you don’t mind me requesting a Kaz brekker x reader fic that would be about the reader being Grisha including being Darklings sister but kaz,Inej, and Jesper don’t know that and the readers really afraid that kaz will see her as a monster so she hid her powers until one day she has to show them to protect kaz,inej, and Jesper while fighting some people the reader has the same powers as Darkling and as they take out all of the other enemies the readers realizes that her brother would be alerted because she used her powers and she’s in tears and tells kaz that’s she’s sorry for being a monster while Jesper was giving her the “that was wicked” look kaz takes the reader away to a more private area to talk and he tells her that he doesn’t see her as a monster and that he will never cause he likes her so they share a kiss but they start hearing horses and carriages and the reader tells kaz that he and the others need to hide and that she’ll handle things with her brother who she hasn’t seen in for awhile as she’s by the carriages darkling gives her a worried look and asks “you haven’t used your powers in so long why now?” And the reader explains that she had to protect her friends darkling then starts convincing her to come back to the little palace but before she can say anything Kaz comes out and starts talking being like “the reader is one of us she can stay with us” while holding her hands and darklings surprised because he can obviously tell the tension between the reader and kaz so he backs down and tells the reader to take care of herself as her brother snd the grisha leave the reader immediately kisses and hugs kaz that’s interrupted by Jesper whistling at them
OMG Kaz would totally be that loyal kind of person. Once a crow, always a crow no matter what happens. <3<3<3 I love this, it has so many great emotions I can play around with eek not to mention I love writing for my Brekker boy
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femboykaz · 2 years
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Safe
In honor of trans day of visibility, I present a Nonbinary Kaz drabble. (I meant to write for the other crows, too, but this is all I was able to get done today soooooo another time for the others) cw: Kaz’s backstory, mentioned familial deaths, mentions of injuries, dysphoria, mentions of unintentional misgendering, denial of identity(???)
Kaz learned early that there was no such thing as safe.
Their father tried. He tried in everything: keeping up with the farm, maintaining the house, ensuring there was food on the table every night, raising his two kids. But even in the very beginning, he couldn’t protect them from everything. Kaz never knew the comforting warmth of their mother’s embrace – or, if they did, they could never remember it – because she passed before they could meet. And from the moment Kaz could stand, they were surrounded by danger. The barn cat might turn and scratch or bite at any moment. (They were only five when they learned that lesson, the scar along their right knuckle a permanent reminder.) The oldest horse would eventually spook, rocks and dirt were bound to give way beneath their feet as they climbed a hill, a fall could scrape a knee or break a bone.
A plow might overturn at any moment. A plague might hit with little warning.
Kaz has known, for as long as they could remember, that with life comes risk. Heartache. Pain. But it goes beyond accidents and death and the con artists, thieves, murderers, slavers… It goes beyond bruises and blood and broken bones. Hurt could come from within, too.
Rietveld – and, for years, Brekker – had never understood why a single glance in the mirror could leave them wanting to crawl out of their own skin. Why some words could cut like a knife.
‘Son, brother, boy, young man.’
‘He.’
They didn’t understand it, but they knew they had never been a boy and they knew being seen as one hurt. Rietveld knew they lived in constant fear. Brekker knew that in a world where danger lurked around every corner, not even their own body was safe. Easier, then, to just keep it all to themself. Don’t tell anyone how to hurt you. It’s a rule that the Barrel didn’t need to teach them; one they’ve followed since crawling out of the harbor that night. And what did it matter if everyone called them a boy? They called Kaz a demon, too, and that was no more true.
There was no such thing as safe. It was up to Kaz to protect themself. From knives, bullets, beatings. From loss. From pain. It was up to Kaz.
Was.
But Rietveld never thought they’d have anyone besides Jordie, and Brekker never thought they’d have anyone at all. They never thought they would see this day, have what they do now.
Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Inej.
A fire glowing in the hearth of the Van Eck mansion.
Reassurances, kind smiles, and open arms.
Kaz hopes Rietveld can hear them now – if only to learn that safety does exist and it looks like this. Sitting, on a cold winter night, with a cup of hot chocolate held in ungloved hands, surrounded by friends and hearing the word ‘they’ fall past their lips – as easy and certain as any other.
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wesper-ao3feed · 7 months
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Glass Against Fire
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Ulu9ZHy by Skatergirl29 Jesper always called Wylan his Star because that's exactly because Wylan was a star kept hidden away for most of his life by his father until Kaz found him. A week after returning to Ketterdam and Jesper is preparing to Marry Wylan the love of his life, and with Wylan's father gone the manor becomes Wylan's. On their wedding day Jesper and Wylan made a promise that they would tell each-other everything, and for Jesper that meant telling Wylan about Dima the stable- boy he'd once loved. Words: 2666, Chapters: 2/7, Language: English Fandoms: Shadow and Bone (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Categories: F/M, M/M Characters: Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Nina Zenik, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Tamar Kir-Bataar, Jan Van Eck, The Crows, Pekka Rollins, Dima (Shadow and Bone TV) Relationships: Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa Additional Tags: Bad Dreams, bad memories, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Christmas, Dom Jesper Fahey, Fireworks, Horses, Kissing, Magic, Marriage, Mpreg, Slow Dancing, Sub Wylan Van Eck, True Love, Wedding Night, Bondage, Gags, Bruises, Past Child Abuse, Threats of Rape/Non-Con read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Ulu9ZHy
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This casts friendship and chemistry>>>>
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"Its insufferable. He keeps taking photos of me"
-Freddy Carter, 2021 for Kit young
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