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libraryofloveletters · 3 years

Text

More Days, Fewer Words

Eddie Diaz x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader

Category: angst

Word Count: 4.2k

Author’s Note: based on my failed talking stage so this was self indulgent :) also thank you to @hotchsdarling for her help :) <3

-----

Cold.

The word that describes the current state of your relationship with Eddie. He sat across from you in your bedroom, his shoulders hung as he slouched in the chair. Your foot tapping against the floor was the only continuous noise echoing through the room, ever so often Eddie glanced at you before directing his attention back to your tapping foot.

Today was supposed to be a nice day, sunny and hot in El Paso, as were most days but not today. Today was gloomy, grey and raining. The wind that blew through the cracked window was cold -cold enough to cause goosebumps. The words that were spoken lingered in the room although nothing was being said.

“I think I should go” he pipes up, his voice quiet and soft, as if he spoke louder he would break you more than he already had.

“Okay” a whisper left your throat, barely.

Eddie pushed himself up out of the chair and headed towards your door. He stepped out, looking back at you now laying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“I-”

Silence.

He sighed, shutting the door. His steps quieter as each went. His voice back to normal as he said goodnight to your parents. The tear rolled down your face, the back of your hand wiping it away when you stand. Eddie stood out in the rain in front of your house, you watched as he looked at your bedroom window. He stood there for a moment and you opened the window. He waited - waited for you to shout for him to come back into the house, for you to do something, anything.

You didn’t.

Shoulder slumped and now rain soaked, he turned and walked the other way.

How did you end up here? Never did you expect him to leave. He was always the constant in your life, there through the good and the bad, as you were for him but something changed. People change and people drift apart. Some things things were just meant to happen the way they happened.

----

Last you heard, Eddie had moved after his wife left. You had seen him at the store and he saw you too. An awkward moment of eye contact was had and you both went your separate ways. His mother was the one that had told you about his move, she kept up with you even after the falling out. She always stopped and spoke to you if she saw you, still sent you flowers for your birthday until this day. She had really started telling you that Shannon had left to take care of her mother, but of course, Eddie was an angel in their eyes so Shannon was left to take all the blame.

Not that you knew Shannon personally nor did you know the ins and outs of her relationship with Eddie but you had heard enough from friends to know that things weren't good. She had commitments, one to take care of her mother and of course, she had one to take care of sweet Christoper but you could understand why she left. It’s hard raising a child when your partner is gone and when he returns, he’s just there with no sense of what’s happening. You would never blame Eddie but you couldn’t exactly blame Shannon either.

So as anyone would, you went to see Eddie’s mom before you left for LA. there was nothing left for you in El Paso, most of your family had moved. You didn’t want to stay there by yourself with all the memories of your past.

It was time for a fresh start.

Imagine your surprise when Mrs. Diaz goes “that’s where Eddie is too!” She had known the two of you stopped talking but she didn’t know why. Neither of you spoke about your feelings and that was part of the reason why the friendship ended to begin with. She told you he had become a firefighter when he moved, he had just gotten a job at station 118.

Something you loved about her, she always told you what you wanted to hear without asking.

She wished you good luck and promised to visit you when she and Ramon came out to see Eddie and with that, you were off.

The entire time, your mind wandered back to Eddie. Surely, he had moved on. He did with Shannon, you couldn’t have given him what he wanted. Stability, a marriage sometime in the near future, a child after that, all things you weren't ready for at that point in your life. Truthfully, you still weren't sure if you were ready now, but maybe and only maybe, would you consider it for the right person.

LA was new and fresh, a clean stale for you to try things and meet people. Right now you were just focused on getting settled in with the new place and the new job. Lauren, the woman whose desk was next to yours asked you to join her and some of the others for drinks after work to celebrate the account the team had gotten earlier. Being new to town and all, you had no other plans so you agreed.

9:30 on a Tuesday night and you were at a bar not far from your workplace.

Lauren and Matt, who you now realized was her boyfriend, were telling everyone about this new fancy restaurant they went to for their anniversary. You smiled and nodded, but truly you were zoned out. Eyes wandered through the bar, from groups much like yours, to couples, some men and women sat at the counter and then a group of people by the pool table. You watched as a shorter man with black hair hit the ball into the pocket, another man, this one blonde and tall, patted his back and then took his turn. Your focus was on them until Lauren called your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“What do you think about that ?”

“About what ? Sorry, I missed what you said” smiling apologetically at her.

“The restaurant, isn't that crazy ?”

“Yeah it totally is” Lauren hums at your response and carries on with her conversation. Gaze drifting back to the pool table at the other end of the bar, you excuse yourself from the group for a moment. You watch the blonde man miss yet another shot as you walk towards the bathroom. Not that you needed to go, you just wanted to have a better view of the game. Your back was up against the wall, the man with the black hair hit another ball into the pocket and surprise surprise, the blonde man missed again.

“He's totally kicking your ass” stepping forward, your hands resting on the edge of the table. The blonde man looked offended while his friend laughed.

“I am, aren't I ?” he asked you, smiling in amusement.

You nodded, he introduced himself. “I’m Howard, but you can call me Chimney. My friend here is Buck.”

“Chimney ?” your brows raise, he shakes his head, “long story.”

“You are ?” Buck asks, “y/n” you smile.

“Okay, y/n. Think you can do better than me?” he asks, holding the stick out for you. Smiling, you take it, “definitely can do better than that” as you lean over the table, Buck steps to the side and watches as you line the shot up. One hit and the ball rolls into the pocket.

“Yeah, she’s got you beat Buckaroo” Chimney laughs, “Buckaroo ? How cute” you smile, Buck rolls his eyes.

“Don’t listen to him” he says, nodding to Chimney. “Your go man”

Buck lets you take his turn for him, Chimney missed the first one but gets the second one in. Just as you lean to line the stick with the ball, you hear him. His voice still brings chills to your spine. He hadn’t noticed you yet, you can hear him talking to Buck, you glance up ever so slightly to make sure you heard right.

What are the odds that the two of you lived in the same place your entire lives and never run into each other but not even 2 weeks into your move to LA and you see him?

Pushing the feeling and thoughts of Eddie from your mind, which wasn't the easiest considering he's right in front of you, you hit the ball and it rolls into the pocket.

“Good shot y/n!” Buck calls from his chair. You wince, hoping Eddie wouldn't look back but he did. The two of you looking at each other like you were the only people in the room. All the feelings from that day returned, the heavy tension weighing you down. Eddie’s reaction made you want to run, far and to never return, to somewhere you’d never see him. Yet, you were stuck, froze and fixated on him.

“I think I should go.” you hand the stick to Chimney who’s now exchanging confused glances with Buck. “It was nice to meet you guys. Enjoy your game.” you smile at the two men, one last glance at Eddie before walking away. You say goodnight to your friends from work and apologize for just disappearing on them. Lauren and Matt offer to give you a ride as you came with them but you decided you’d walk.

----

Eddie follows his morning routine per usual. Up at 7, wake Chris up, breakfast, shower and get ready, out the door by 8:15 the latest, drop Chris off at school for 8:30 and at work by 9.

As soon as his bag hits the floor, Buck comes running in, Chim hot on his tail. “Good morning” Buck smiles at his best friend, taking a seat on the bench across from Eddie’s locker. “Morning Eddie, how’d you sleep ?” Chim asks, Eddie turns and looks at Chimney, “how did I what ?” Eddie’s face twisted into his typical scowl.

“Sleep, how did you sleep ? Friends ask that don't they Buck ?” Chim faces Buck, his back against the wall across from the lockers. Buck nods but Eddie ignores them, he goes back to changing for work. The room is quiet except for Eddie’s tumbling through his bag and locker and Chimney throwing a tennis ball at the wall across from him and catching it. Buck being Buck, decided to ask the question they had actually gone in there to ask.

“So why did our new friend just up and leave after you showed up?”

Eddie didn't answer, Chimney kept bouncing the ball and Buck asked the same question over and over again in different variations, hoping to get an answer. Finally Eddie turns to face them, the locker door slamming shut. Buck and Chimney’s heads perking up at the sound.

“What do you want to know ?” Eddie asks, Buck opens his mouth but Eddie cuts him off. “You can only ask one question each. That's it” the two men nod, Chim joining Buck on the bench. “Do you guys know each other from your past life or something ?” Buck asks the first question.

“She was an old friend.” Eddie’s simple answer didn’t satisfy the curiosity that Buck and Chimney had.

“What happened between you two ?” Chimney used his question, earning him a sigh from Eddie.

A loss for words wasn't a common thing for Eddie, sure he didn’t confront every problem verbally, that was usually the last option he chose but he looked for the simplest terms to put what happened.

“We drifted apart”

“Oh c’mon! There has to be more!” Buck looks up at his friend who was in no mood for questions, the look on his face was enough to get Buck to stop but did he ? Of course not.

“Eddie, come on. It's us. You can tell us what happened”

“What I say here, ends here. Understand ?” his friends nod. Eddie sits on the bench beside them.

“We were friends back in El Paso. Grew up together our whole lives, everyone thought that we'd get married,” he chuckled at the thought, “but obviously, didn’t happen. It was right after we had graduated, we had feelings for each other but neither of us said anythi- well that’s not true. We admitted that we had feelings once but nothing ever happened. She went off to college and I was still figuring out my life. After I told her I enlisted, we drifted. Hung out less, the calls became shorter and eventually they stopped. The only time we saw each other was if one of us showed up at the other’s place. I told her that I couldn’t have a relationship like this, with nothing happening. I wanted a life together, to get married, to have a kid and she said she didn’t want that, she ‘couldn't give that to me.’ We stopped talking after that. I left and when I came back, I met Shannon, we got married and had Chris.”

“So that’s that. Anyone want a smoothie ?” He stands and waits for an answer, both men shake their heads and he walks out like he hadn’t just told them all of that. Buck and Chim sat there, staring at Eddie walking away. He had this great romance and it ended because they had shitty communication skills ? There was no way Buck and Chim would let this slide, they’d hatch a plan but one that Eddie would know nothing about. Only to figure out how they can get the two of them together in one place.

---

A routine fire drill for an office building was a normal day for the 118. Bobby coordinated with the team from outside. Hen, Chim and Buck all inside the building, they went through various floors checking to make sure they were clear while Eddie was in the lobby.

This was their first shift back after their 24 hour shift as was it the first shift back since the Eddie “I had a friend that I loved but did nothing” bomb was dropped. The team took their sweet time clearing the building, they were supposed to be in and out as fast as they can be because they were supposed to be acting like it was a real fire.

You on the other hand, were now arriving to work. You had a check in with your doctor and called in to say you’d be late. You find your way through the crowd outside of the building and spot Lauren by a corner.

“Hey!” she smiles, you smile back at her. “What’s going on?” you ask her, turning to look at the crowd forming by the door. “Fire drill” she informs you, nodding towards the 2 big red firetrucks parked in front of the building. You hum, the side of the truck had big white numbers that said 118. Why did that feel so familiar to you ?

“He works at station 118 now” Eddie’s mother’s words ringing in your head.

No no no no no, not again. God I hope he isn't working today.

Everyone reenters the building and there he was again. You couldn’t help but look at him. He had grown since you saw him that day at the store, you didn’t know what you were expecting. He stood there, his coat undone and his helmet in his hand, his typically well kept hair was wavy and messy from the helmet. He looked cute, but you wouldn't dare to tell him that. Not then, not now. You look away before he sees you. Making your way up the stairs, you were searching through your bag for your phone when you bumped into someone. Their hands on your arms, “sorry about that” you mumble before looking up.

Buck smiled at you, “it’s okay. I didn’t know you worked here”

“Yeah, started a few weeks ago”

“Hey, why don't you come out with us tonight ? Chimney will be there and my sister Maddie, plus Hen and her wife are coming. She works with us, you’ll really like her” Buck gave you a smile, his eyes pleading for you to join them. He didn’t mention Eddie but you’re sure he would be there. Oh what the hell, you co-existed in El Paso for years, you had the same friends there too, what difference did it make here?

“You know what, sure. Where and when ?”

Buck reached into his pocket for his phone, giving it to you. “I’ll text you the details” you type your number into Buck’s phone. HIs radio went off, someone was looking for Buckley which you assumed was him and it was, he shouted that he’d text you as he ran off down the hallway. Chuckling at the man, you wondered how someone as joyful and sweet as him stayed so joyful and sweet doing a job like his. Surely, he had seen some messed up stuff, there was no way he didn’t. Nothing thinking much into it, you head into work for the day.

----

Buck didn’t take long to text you a name of a restaurant and a time, he also told you to ask for Buckley when you arrived. Work kind of flies by when you have something to do, soon enough you were at home getting ready. The place was 20 minutes from your place, you arrived on time surprisingly. The man at the front smiled at you and led you into the restaurant when you gave him the name. Just as you were walking in, your phone chimed.

From Buck: Okay don't be mad but Hen and Karen can’t make it. Chimney and Maddie are having a date night in and I’m sitting on my couch but have fun

From Buck: But drinks tomorrow I promise, if you’re not mad at me :)

Did he send you here to have dinner by yourself ?

When you looked up, the man had just stopped in front of a table, had you not looked up you would have walked into him. Eddie sat at a table for 2, you look at him and he looks at you. The man excused himself as the two of you are looking at each other like you’re the only people in the place once again.

“Buck ?” you ask him

“Buck.” he answers, you hum.

You pause for a moment. “Well, I can leave. We don't have to st-” “no please, sit” Eddie says, your brows furrow before you sit across from him.

“I didn’t-” “When did-” the sentences cut off each other. Gesturing to him, “you first” your attention on the man in front of you. He takes a sip of water before speaking. “I didn’t know you moved to LA” he says, you hum. “I didn’t know you moved either.”

“Yeah after Shannon-”

“Left. Yeah, your mom told me.”

“How did Buck get you here?” Eddie looks over at you. “Bumped into me during the fire drill. He asked me to come out with the team tonight, to meet them.”

“He told me that he wanted to get dinner and help me plan Christopher’s birthday party”

“Chris has probably gotten so big”

“Yeah, he did” Eddie pulls his phone out to show you a picture. Eddie and Christopher sat on the couch next to Eddie’s grandmother.

“Awe, he’s grown so much. How’s your Abuela ?”

“She's good, she's been helping me out with Christoper since I moved here.”

Your eyes drifting back to the phone that sat on the table, it seemed like a recent photo. The cake on the table read “happy birthday” and Christoper’s arms are wrapped around Eddie’s waist. Chris is laughing with frosting on his cheek while Abuela feeds Eddie a piece of cake. The picture was from Eddie’s birthday, it was from last weekend.

“oh my god, it slipped my mind.” you look at him, Eddie’s brows furrowed and his head tilts slightly. “What’s wrong ?” he sounded concerned.

“Happy birthday Eddie” smiling at your friend- if you could even call him that. Eddie returns the smile. “Thank you”

The waiter returns to the table, asking if you were ready to order. Eddie looks at you, unsure what to say to the waiter. You speak up, “No thank you, I think we’re going to get going.”

“Is there any way we could get you to stay ?” the waiter asks, you smile politely and shake your head. “Thank you but the babysitter called, our son isn't feeling too well so we’re going to head home” now smiling sweetly at the waiter, he nods and leaves. Eddie’s eyes are on you, you could feel them on your from the moment you say “our son”

Getting up, picking up your purse. “It was nice seeing you Eddie”

“Wait! Let me walk you out” he gets up from his seat, he follows you as you make your way through the tables and out of the restaurant.

“No thanks, I’m more than capable of walking myself out” you say with a hint of annoyance in your voice. You’re out on the street walking towards the direction of your car when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist tugging you back slightly.

“I know you’re capable, but please. It’s the least I can do” he gives you a pathetic look, a small pout on his face.

“God, stop it. You know I hate that stupid face” pulling your hand away, you continue towards your car. “What face?” he shouts, jogging behind you as he follows you to your car.

“That stupid pout of yours. It always got me to give in” turning around, you hadn't realized how close behind you Eddie was. His chest against yours, his hand on your waist instinctively when you bump into him. Eddie had no clue what you were talking about, a pout ? He had never pouted a day in his life. Clearing his throat, he relaxed his face as best as he could.

“Can we talk, please ?” you shake your head, moving his hand from your hip. “Eddie, what more is there to say ?”

“I love you.”

The 3 words you had been dying to hear since freshman year of high school. The 3 words that would have been the glue to hold your relationship together all those years ago.

“Eddie, what-” you breathe. You were at a loss for words. Why now? Why not all those years ago?

“I know” he takes a step back.

“Why now? Is it because you already got married ? Because you have Chris ? Because you don’t need me to give you those things, you just- why ?”

“Y/n, it was never about those things with you.” he reaches for your hand, you pull away.

“But it was. It always was about the future we would have built together. You wanted to get married, you wanted to have children and I didn’t. I wasn’t ready. I still don't know if I am. So please, if you’re just going to leave again, go now before I fall in love with you again.” admitting your feelings to him in the middle of the street.

“I got married, I have a kid - and you’re right. I don't feel the need to do those again because I already have. It doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. It doesn't mean a day hasn't passed by that I didn’t think about you or that I didn’t want to call you.” he sighs, his heart on his sleeve. Eddie wasn’t only one to talk about his feelings, ever. It meant a lot to both of you that you had your feelings out in the open.

Eddie’s hands grabbed your waist, your body pressed against his. “Eddie, please don’t. I can’t do this. We’ve both moved on-” his hand cradled your face, his lips on yours ended your sentence.

Your heart pounded in your chest, you could only focus on how Eddie’s lips felt against yours. You had been dreaming for another moment like this since he left you that day in your bedroom, it felt as if time stopped and it was only the two of you while the world melted away.

Eddie’s eyes had ever so slightly opened, taking the beautiful women in front of him. Taking in the moment just to make sure he wasn’t imagining what he had dreamt of and for the first time in all those years, he didn’t feel sad when he thought of you, he saw the one he had been waiting for.

“Ed-” “Y/n, I love you.”

“Eddie I-”

“No, it’s you. It's always been you.”

“Oh my god, Edmundo! Shut up, I'm trying to tell you something” you groan, Eddie bites back a smile.

“What is it?”

“I love you too.”

----

Yeah I got lazy, but happy ending :) Just assume they worked things out and are happy now :)

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @mikaelson-emma @beth-winchester21 @averyhotchner @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling

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