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#housework compensation
dykedragons · 1 year
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i love making things for my friends!! i love it when my friends enjoy the things i make them!!!!!
#ramblies#i just appreciate them all so much. its the little things- the pins ive made them on their bags‚ the art ive made them as icons on socials#maybe its not much to them but its everything to me to know that the little things ive spent a little time making are worn#like badges of honor. its so special to me.#like‚ generally now i just feel so valued. my relationships are natural and reciprocal.#its like... finally!! THIS is what ive been fucking missing this whole time!! this ease!!#i dont need to prove myself‚ to compensate‚ to ask for reminders that im valued. they show me all the time. i never have to ask.#i dont know what happened. i dont know what changed from high school to now. i became a better person‚ i met better people? both.#i dont care how long it lasts or if its not this good forever. im just happy to be here. i finally feel worthy of this‚ without question#ive only known them for a few months but its the most secure ive ever felt.#maybe im oversharing!! i dont know!! i cant tell them outright ill overwhelm them!! its my blog and i can overshare if i want to!!#i dont know. im just grateful.#in other news i cleaned up my room a bit too‚ did lots of housework. always feels really cleansing.#after a stressful day yesterday this is what ive needed. a self care day. i have a lot of stuff to do but... it can wait while i rest lol#idk its just. so special to feel like i finally dont have to be the ''best'' or whatever to be loved. im loved as i am.#no arbitrary comparisons. its not conditional. i dont need to compete‚ i always feel like theres room. i hope we all thrive.
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kiefbowl · 6 months
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Ohhh okay because it seems like sometimes femininity gets reduced to "things men like = bad, and things men hate = good". And it's like...many men hate BBLs so does that make them good?
No, femininity isn't that simple.
Femininity is a mythology, foremost. It's the mythology that supports the sex hierarchy. The sex hierarchy is the system of oppression that subjugates women to men. Feminine Ideals are ideas for and about women that our culture(s) largely believe in despite not being scientific. These ideas are varied and can be contradictory because they don't represent a logical truth, they only exist to continue the sex hierarchy.
Often times, sophomoric feminist analysis tends to focus on the aesthetics of femininity. This isn't not important, it's just superficial in a lot of ways. Think of two mothers in vastly different places in the world, whether it's America & Afganistan, or France & China, or Ethiopia & Japan...these mothers will likely be wearing vastly different clothing from each other, but all recognizably the "uniform" of woman for their communities, and all of them serving the role of "mother", likely doing the majority of the housework and childcare without compensation. The idea of how women should provide free childcare and housework to men is as much of a part of femininity as the clothes you're expected to wear.
Men don't need these ideas of femininity to be anything but self-serving, so they'll make up whatever narratives they want to benefit them. You mentioned in your last anon the look of the "insta-baddie." Let's take that for example...let's say guy number 1 doesn't like the look of the insta-baddie, so he crafts a narrative that insta-baddies are vain, stupid, uninteresting, etc. He doesn't have to come up with ideas about the insta-baddies that are beneficial to the insta-baddies. Let's say guy number 2 thinks insta-baddies are the hottest women in the world, but he can't pull one. He's going to come up with the narrative that insta-baddies are hauty, selfish, have better-than-thou attitudes, slutty. Now let's say guy number 3 thinks insta-baddies are the hottest women in the world, and he can pull one. He's going to craft a narrative that he's such a macho man, and that his woman is the hottest object in the room, and she does all that work to look hot for him and to make everyone else jealous. And he's also not going to be very happy when she can't keep the fantasy up 24/7. You get all 3 of these guys in a room chatting, they're not going to disagree with each other. They all have different narratives that suit them, but ultimately that overall narrative is this: women are dumber than men, superficial, and are here to be objects for men to possess. Whether men like what they see or don't like what they see doesn't really matter, because they have the power to morph the narrative to whatever will suit them that day.
I'm glad you're thinking about this, I know it can be difficult if this is the first time you've seen femininity talked about this way.
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elusive-mayfly · 11 months
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If Vash was reverse-isekai-ed
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There was something in the night sky. A bright light. Was it a star? No, it couldn’t be a star, it was too bright and… getting bigger? Was it safe to get closer? But get closer how? How does one get closer to the sky? How was no one else seeing this? You felt like you should be scared, at the very least more cautious. This was potentially a supernatural event and you were at the centre of it. The hair on the back of your neck stood upwards. Someone else might have taken that as a sign to run, but… it felt like something was calling to you. Something was there and you had to see what it was, no matter what
When Vash appeared in this world, it was like he was brought here on a falling star. A mysterious light in the night sky that kept growing and growing and growing until it fell to earth and landed with a large impact. It was a miracle no one else was around to see this phenomenon.
There would be a moment of disbelief. How can this be the real Vash the Stampede? He's a character. But the supernatural falling star and the prosthetic arm are enough to convince you there was more to this person than what you could see on the surface.
Vash was entirely disoriented. He was screaming. Panicking. It took a second to realize he was not where he was just minutes ago. A few minutes ago, he was fighting his brother as they plummeted back to No Man's land. There should have been an explosion, Vash right at the center, but instead he was here.
He'd have a lot of questions, a lot you wouldn't be able to answer.
But it's a no brainer that it would be easier to talk things over in a secluded and safe environment, so when you offer to take Vash home, he follows. Besides, where else would he go?
Accepting that he was in a new world where he was safe took a long time. He didn't have to be looking over his shoulder for danger every few minutes. He could finally relax and not have to worry about what he thought was the inevitable: destruction around every corner that he was desperately running from.
There would be nights where he would try to sneak off without a goodbye. Whether it was because he felt like he was being a burden or because he still hadn't accepted he and the people around him were safe, he would try to leave a few times in the first few months of him being around. It took a lot of patience and compassion to convince him he could stay without consequences.
Having him stay was hard, though. He had no identification. He couldn't get a real job. He would do as much housework as he could to try and compensate for his living expenses, but there was only so much he could do. What if he got sick? What if something happened? There'd be a lot to work out and a lot of backup plans upon backup plans that you two would discuss.
It became a strict rule to not leave the house with his prosthetic attached. That kind of tech doesn't exist in our world and would draw too much attention if seen by other people.
It also became a rule of how many doughnuts he could have in one day. Doughnuts are cheap. You don't equate the price of doughnuts to the price of bullets in this world. You can get a half a dozen for less than six dollars depending on where you went. And so, you almost felt like a bartender making sure your customer didn't overindulge. One doughnut per day.
There was something so satisfying about watching Vash expand his interests. He had time to do things he thought he'd never be able to do, and there were many things he had enjoy that would never have been accessible to him in his own world. With expendable money, you both would often attend classes to learn or expand on different hobbies such as playing sports, baking, or making handmade crafts. One taste of freedom and Vash wanted more, he wanted to experience everything the world could offer to him at least once just to know what it'd be like.
He was enthralled with your world. Animals and nature all around were something he hadn't truly experienced before and he was enamored with it. He'd often go out just to sight see or people watch just to get a glimpse of what he could be and what he could enjoy.
It took him a tremendously long time to accept he was dancing on the edge of being real and not. He definitely was real, he was there and that was a fact. But he came from something not real, a fictional world.
He'd often watch the show he came from and would read online the manga that it originated from. It was interesting to him to see the scenes from his memory play out in a different perspective. It was both painful to revisit the crux of his existence, but soothing to hear the voices of people he missed. He would play scenes of him, Rem, and Nai over and over again. This window to his world was so close but so far.
Vash came to his own conclusions and found his own way to cope with it. He learned to accept that his world was very real to him even if it wasn't real to anyone else. But there's this faraway look he gets when he thinks about home, a place he may never see again with people he may never know again. That never went away.
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molsno · 24 days
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when I read about the potential future of housework in women race & class I was kind of surprised that I hadn't even considered the solution angela davis describes as a possibility before. because yeah actually the way housework is currently done is really primitive when you get down to it, and there's no good reason for it other than to keep women occupied with tiresome, thankless work.
housework could be a public service where trained professionals go door to door and use specialized tools to clean more effectively in a fraction of the time. capitalists don't even invest in creating the kinds of tools that would make housework more efficient because it's simply not profitable in most cases, and even when they do exist, they're too specialized for the average person to justify spending the amount of money necessary to buy one for their own use (just look at the price of roombas for example).
in any case, any communist movement needs to seriously address structural misogyny so that women are no longer forced to do intensive and repetitive manual labor for no reward. the solution should not be financial compensation for women, it should be freeing women from the burden of housework altogether!
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cloudypinkblink · 1 month
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you know sayuri kinda looks like she has the dead mom hairstyle, kinda
so time to give masaru (and chika) some angst
aka sayuri dying and Masaru drops out of school to get a job and raise his sister, over working himself and having bad habits of caring more about others health than his own
Chika worries about her brother and the changed that happened to him since their mom death
Satsuma didn't know that sayuri died and when he finds that out plus masaru joining DATS he tries to be a parental figuur to him (like a dad or uncle)
I'm so glad someone finally mentioned this bc I've always thought that abt her hair LMAO Anyways I will give u my perspective w/ Sayuri's death, tho it's a LIL different from some of what you suggested, but I like the idea a lot and have thought about it before.
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Firstly, I think Masaru and Chika do get financial support; Sayuri is a stay-at-home mom with two kids in the anime; I'm assuming DATS gave her money in compensation for Suguru's disappearance, especially considering Captain Satsuma and Suguru were friends, as well. So with her death (I'm just chalking it up to illness), the financial support fell to the kids- they get to keep their house and I think they both stubbornly want to so when Dad comes back, he knows where they are (bc mind u canon masaru is only 14; he's still just a kid, and is bound to have some childlike hope/logic) Masaru does drop out and start working- for two reasons. One - His temper and behavior is pretty bad in school- he struggles dealing with his grief, and eventually just can't deal with it anymore; he's getting into more serious fights and hurting other kids, and it has a negative effect on Chika so he just drops out. He was also failing because he almost never studied, just too stressed. Two - Part of him is afraid of what will happen if he doesn't provide or take care of Chika on his own; yes they've got the money, but what if it's limited? Furthermore- he wants her to have nice things. They're given enough to survive, but after losing both their parents, he wants Chika to be happy. Sure, he can't spoil her, but he likes being able to buy her nice things when he can.
He works a few odd jobs- I think the last job he really worked before he ended up meeting Agumon and getting to DATS was at his friends shop- the one there is an episode about? But when it closed he lost it, and was inbetween work. He meets Agumon and Satsuma does recognize Masaru; he is aware of his situation, as Sayuri had asked him to make sure they're taken care of, but I guess he didn't realize how bad things had gotten on Masaru. Instead of Yoshino going to seek Masaru out, the Captain does personally, and tells him a bit about his dad and his relationship with Sayuri. He outright offers a job for Masaru at DATS, and it only gets solidified after Masaru is able to get Agumon to evolve. Satsuma also does this personally to allow Masaru to keep his privacy; it's his choice if he wants the others to know his personal situation. (Masaru doesn't outright talk about it, but he doesn't keep it a secret, either. It is what it is, but he does appreciate being able to tell them on his own)
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(I believe in giving Masaru different hairstyle supremacy)
Masaru ofc takes it because he's able to work, and the pay is ggood enough that he feels a bit better about spending more time at home. Satsuma gives him mornings/early afternoons off, allowing Masaru to do housework, cook, etc., Masaru is also very grateful to Agumon- and instead of being hungry af for Sayuri's fried eggs, he obsesses over Masaru's. The companionship and someone to chat with while he does stuff helps Masaru, and he doesn't get nearly as restless anymore given his fights with Digimon make him feel more fulfilled. (There is a part of him that's terrified of something happening, leading him to leave Chika behind; I think he's very much more hesitant about going to the digital world, and needs her encouragement before he goes. As much as Masaru the son wants to find his dad and have a parent, Masaru the brother doesn't want to abandon Chika. I also don't think he goes to the digital world at the end of the series; sure their dad is back, but Masaru's been Chika's main parent figure. I don't think he has it in him to leave her.) While I didn't draw her, Yoshino is definitely really sympathetic, and often buys Masaru and Chika snacks, and gives him rides to places if she's not busy. It becomes a little routine for her and Masaru to go grocery shopping together, and Lalamon often points out how much better Masaru is at housework than Yoshino- obviously to tease and fluster her. She also tries to be there when Masaru has his off and down days- but they all kinda learn pretty quick to just... let him simmer for a bit, and he comes around on his own. Masaru is probably depressed, and it manifests as quiet, slow days, or in angry bursts where he doesn't understand his sadness. Touma and Masaru of course buttheads at first, though Touma is fairly shocked and surprised when he hears Masaru say he takes care of Chika himself because his parents are gone. Masaru doesn't beat around the bush, saying Mom passed away and Dad went missing. Of course they kinda butt heads still when the ever proud and abrasive Masaru doesn't like pity, but Touma, I think, opens up a bit and explains his "pity" is empathy, because his mom died, and his little sister is sick, so he gets it. While I definitely feel thats information Touma doesn't give lightly, I think it's because Touma is rather caring towards Chika too, and at least he had others to take care of him and take care of Relena in his absence. Satsuma does enlist in Touma's help in tutoring Masaru- it's soemthing they'll do in quiet evenings, though Yoshino often has to butt in to get Touma to tone down his genius speak to something a bit less overwhelming. This will be dubbed orphan AU in tags. I will definitely come back, but please ask/prompt more as well hehehe. I definitely want to explore Masaru's relationships w/ some of the adult figures in his life- Satsuma, Yoshino. And ofc how Ikuto would be different given it was Sayuri's motherly affection that had a big effect on him.
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worriedvision · 1 year
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(Character of your choice) gets a new pet and reader petsits for them once in a while. They become closer and are practically co-parenting at this point.
Doing this with Heizou! Gender neutral reader, he gets a dog.
--
When Heizou told Kujou Sara he thought a dog would assist him in solving cases faster than he already did, she should have realised he was bluffing. In the moment, she thought he would get onto the mounting caseload he seemed too boring to solve.
Unfortunately, the opposite happened. He actually kept the dog healthy, not asking for any more mora for compensation with dog food, as well as the various dog items he bought.
One day, he got a particularly difficult case, one where the dog would most likely be harmed or taken by the enemy, so he asks for a dogsitter. When you show up, he feels an instant connection. He trusted you with the dog, and he liked that you didn't seem at all intimidated by the fact the dog was technically a working dog.
When he comes back home, he is pleasantly surprised that the dog was very well rested. Well, the dog was sleeping on your lap which was quite funny considering it was not a small dog. You lift up a finger, motioning for heizou to be quiet and to take a seat. He does so, and he observes how clean the place was. Sure, he wasn't messy, but you seemed to do a really good job at hoovering up the place.
"He sheds." You whisper, Heizous mouth forming an 'o' at the explanation.
--
The dog always ran up to you in public the moment it spotted you, Heizou trying to keep up with it and thinking there was a clue at the end of the route. You land up bumping into each other, laughing it off before having a conversation and the dog conveniently trots over to a ramen stand, a couple's offer happening to also be there.
"Looks like he's trying to tell you something." You laugh. "Well, I should get back to my housework. I'll see you later!" You call out.
Before you can walk away, however, the dog barks in protest before running over, stopping between you and Heizou.
"Is your dog trying to get us together?" You ask, finding the whole situation kind of funny. "Not that I'm complaining. As long as you're paying today."
--
The night he confesses, it was actually the dog outing him to you. He somehow found Heizous Diary, flipped to the page talking about how he kept thinking of holding your hand, hugging you, kissing you. He was planning on making a move himself, but he kept backing out because of nerves.
"Oh, what's this? Evidence?" You ask, Heizous eyes widening as he recognises the letter. Looking down at the dog, he can't get mad with how it's smiling and wagging it's tail.
Heizou was ecstatic when you returned his feelings, and he wished he could be a good enough liar to say he made the confession intentionally.
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one-vivid-judgment · 3 days
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hey! how about dating headcanons for the judgement gang: yagami, kaito, sugiura and higashi please? :)
Finally got around to writing a request for the Judgment boys, whoo!
Yagami Yagami
The most interesting conversationalist. His job comes with the perks of always having some interesting and/or bizarre story to tell, and they never fail to make you laugh or get a smile out of you, even if you’re having a bad day.
If you are a cat person, you’ve hit the jackpot. It’s like cats gravitate towards him: they approach Yagami on the street, invade his office and always fall asleep on his lap. He’s started stacking up on cat food lately, too. You wouldn’t have to insist too much if you want to adopt one of the kitties with him.
Please, let this man into your house. God knows when the last time he slept on a proper bed was. His back is suffering and he’s only thirty-eight. He will compensate by cuddling you to sleep every night. Please, he’s a good cuddler, he promises. Please.
Masaharu Kaito
Gives the best hugs you’ve ever been given. Big, strong, and yet he’s so soft and warm. Literally the human embodiment of a teddy bear. He’s a slut for cuddles too, so it’s literally the perfect triangle.
The most whipped man on planet Earth. He already screwed things up with Mikiko before, he’s not making that same mistake twice. PDA is always on the agenda, unless you explicitly tell him it’s not your thing. Yagami and Higashi like you, but they are so done with him constantly talking about you.
You may have to take care of him if he drinks too much. Unless you can handle your liquor well and are down to go for drinks with him, you’ll have to take care of him when he’s hungover. He’ll apologize and promise he won’t drink so much anymore, but you already know he promised that the last five times and it has never happened. Alas, that’s the Kaito you fell in love with.
Fumiya Sugiura
Does the “guess who” thing where he comes up behind you and covers your eyes every time you meet up for a date without a fail. He knows it’s super obvious and kind of cheesy, but he doesn’t care, he’ll do it anyway.
Arcade dates are a very recurring thing. Sometimes Charles, sometimes other places. He especially likes playing on the crane machines and getting you every plushie he can. And he is good, yeah, but not that good—else, your whole house would be bursting with stuffed animals.
Very familiar with the rooftops of Kamurocho. If you’d like to go stargazing to the Stardust roof one night, he’s more than up for it. Hell, he’ll even teach you how to properly parkour your way around the city so you can follow him.
Toru Higashi
Does things for you just because. You’re busy with work? He’ll make you some tea or buy you your favorite snack. You procrastinated on doing housework for too long and now it’s all piled up? He will nag a little, but he’ll help you. You’re too tired to make dinner? No, no worries, he’ll take care of that. He’s making your favorite food too.
A bit shy when it comes to PDA. He’d rather keep it all behind closed doors. Hand-holding and some other tamer stuff are okay, but anything past a cheek kiss is a no go in public. Kaito calls him lame, he calls it being professional.
Unlike with Yagami, he’s always happy to see you at Charles. You are even allowed to go into his office to hang out. He won’t be able to stay for long, since he has a job to do and all, but he likes having you around regardless.
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lucivinyl · 2 years
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imagine thoma forgetting to give you the routine good luck kiss in the morning, then feeling on edge for the whole day because he just can’t figure out what it is that he has forgotten.
he does the chores around the kamisato estate absent-mindedly, the feeling that something fundamental is missing eating away at his attention. ayaka notices the unease plaguing his expression and, after learning about his worries, suggests that he retrace everything that has happened starting from the moment the sun rose.
so he starts conjuring his memories up : waking up, getting dressed, making breakfast for everyone, waking you up, asking you about your agenda for the day, seeing you off…
he gasps- the good luck kiss! that’s what he forgot. no wonder you looked kind of bummed out when you left.
despite being aware that he has quite a lot to do, he feels that he must make it up to you as soon as possible. he knows he shouldn’t be superficial, but what if something bad actually happens during your adventures? what if you’re so hung up on the fact that he forgot to give you the kiss that you accidentally get yourself hurt? now that’s something he can’t allow happen.
so screw housework (for now), he puts off his list of work for the day and races to where you mentioned you would be, not only to somehow provide compensation but also to make sure you’re unscathed.
the shock on your face is apparent as you turn to his voice. just what could he be doing here when he should be running errands and working his butt off? you’re only more taken aback when he ignores his strained wheezes from all the sprinting and pulls you into a brief kiss.
“here you go, a kiss for luck.” he says with a sheepish smile.
“did you serious run all the way out here just to do that?”
“yea… otherwise i wouldn’t have been able to focus on anything else.”
though you shoot him a playful glare, you’d be lying if you said thoma’s spontaneity doesn’t make him all the more endearing.
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casper-spills · 2 months
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Hello, how are you? I wish everything goes well for you. I wanna join the free reading. I hope I’ll get a reply 🎀
I want to ask about my future. Will I have a good family? I always wanted to get married and be a mother (I wanted to have children). I’m worry about whether I will be a good wife/mother.
Can you tell about me in the future? Job/marriage/or maybe about my husband and children. I also a lil bit lost right now. I wish I can do everything well until I meet the one & started my own family.
I hope I can still get an answer from you. Thank you very much. 🙏🥰
Hello! I am doing well thank you! I hope you are too <3 Thank you for following and reblogging! And I'm so sorry for the really late response ♡
Discaimer: Tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only and should never take the place of professional therapy or professional legal, medicinal or financial advice.
Cards: Queen of Cups, The Tower, Seven of Swords, Nine of Coins, Knight of Cups (reversed), The Empress, The Fountain, Six of Swords, Four of Cups, Ace of Cups, The Sun (reversed), Queen of Coins, Two of Cups, The Hierophant
The job you will have: The kind of career you might expect is a profession in hospitality, wine tasting, counseling, care or therapy.
The kind of wife and mother you will be: You will be a very loving mother and wife and you will have a very strong connection with your family. You may feel that when you were young, you were emotionally neglected or generally didn't have the best parents, so you will want to compensate for that and swear to yourself to do better and set a better example. You will be a very compassionate and nuturing mother while also being very practical and wise. You and your husband will have a wonderful connection. Your love will be unified and the attraction will indeed be mutual. You will have equal roles in the family meaning you both will be working parents and equally splitting housework between each other. You will also be aligned with religious beliefs or values and you both might be very traditional people. Your husband will love you for your creative, energetic nature and your intellect. He sees you as someone very smart and beautiful ♡
Details about your husband: Appearance: Gentle features, delicate nose, curcy lips, bright eyes, round or oval face, resting bitch face, average height, lean & strong, prone to blushing Traits: Prudish, eccentric, unpredictable, inventive, unique, adventurous, social, sensitive, compassionate, caring, intuitive
Details about your children: There is possibly 5 children in your future! ♡ Your oldest: Appearance: Unique facial features, half smile, inquisitive eyes, intimidating, very tall, high forehead, broad shoulders Traits: Clumsy, energetic, couragous, passionate, enthusiastic, impulsive, masculine, impatient, direct, rowdy, ambitious, chaotic Your 2nd child: Appearance: Big or long hair/lots of volume in hair, hair will be the most noticable about them, elegant movements, tall, tanned, bright smile Traits: They will remind you of your husband, eccentric, rebellious, unpredictable, unique, wild, inventive, adventurous, moody, outgoing, strategic, financially independant Your 3rd child: Appearance: Soft & round face, fine hair, large eyes, flashy shoes, might wear anklets Traits: Daydreamer, good dancer, lucky, optimistic, abundant, interested in philosophy, influential, passionate, curious, generous, responsible, imaginative, tolerant Your 4th child: Appearance: Very beautiful, round full face, soft features, high cheekbones, emotionally expressive, gentle face & demeanour, heart shaped figure, may look identical to you (or the father but I get a strong feeling that its you) Traits: Feminine, creative, hopeless romantic, arty, materialistic, foodie, elegant Your youngest: Appearance: Big or long hair, elegant movements, tall, tanned, bright smile, broad shoulders, possibly transgender Traits: Self aware and of those around them, intuitive. imaginative, spiritual, innocent, naive, kind, forgiving, lucid dreamer, empathetic, optimistic, abstract thinker
Messages for you: 'Where are you being called to journey to?' 'A fiery climax appraoches!' 'Have you answered your deepest calling?' 'You are a warrior!' 'It's time to heal' 'Things are changing'
I hope this reading was helpful to you and I hope you enjoyed it ♡
All feedback is appreciated.
Sincerely,
Cassy the friendly ghost ♡
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overtlydinosaurian · 3 months
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As we get closer to Christmas eve, I hope everyone thanks the women in their lives for making it happen. For cooking the feats, for cleaning the house, organizing and buying the presents, reading and considering your wants and needs, and decorating. Yes men might sometimes do this too but let's be real- for the most part, they most certainly are not.
Below is the article (not sure if paywalled, either way it's easier to just read in app). All emphasis added is my own.
https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/christmas-is-a-feminist-issue-who-does-all-the-menial-emotional-mental-labour-1.4095802
Christmas is a feminist issue: Who does all the menial, emotional, mental labour?
It is time to strike – You never know, you just might get a Christmas miracle
My family is blessed. We live in a house with a self-cleaning bathroom. What’s that, you ask? Well, it’s a bathroom that regularly replenishes itself with clean towels and full tubes of toothpaste. The loo roll automatically replaces itself and the small bin under the sink empties itself when full. The hot press is refilled with clean bed linen, and clothes in the laundry basket somehow get themselves to the washing machine and back to dry by what seems like magic.
Mea culpa. I tell a lie. My family used to live in such a wondrous place until last week, when I went on bathroom strike. For five days I stopped doing all the necessary chores associated with the bathroom, and yes, even though I am very, very far from being a house proud or tidy person, I found it difficult. But in the service of feminism if not sanity, I bit my lip at the empty loo roll holder, the dirty towel still on the handrail and the toothpaste stains smeared all over the handbasin, until eventually I could stand it no more and I informed the other people I share a home with that there was no magic elf and if they wanted the bathroom cleaned they would have to do it themselves.
Cue shock, horror and disbelief; dear Lord, you would think I’d told them that Santa himself doesn’t exist.
Fortunately, however, we know that not only does Santa exist, but Mrs Santa will send her elves to earth to do all those chores that need to be done in every household before Christmas. You know the ones I’m talking about: the ordering gifts online and ensuring they are delivered on time: The gift wrapping of the pressies that need to go under the tree (has anyone seen the sellotape?) and purchase of all those itty-bitty gifts needed for Christmas Stockings (the dog needs one too) that hang over the fireplace.
There’s the extra decorations that make the house look properly festive – don’t forget a new wreath for the front door, they’ll be sold out before December 15th! – All this in addition to the necessary house cleaning, food buying and meal cooking that must be done before we ring in the New Year.
Oh sorry. There I go, lying again. Because whatever about Santa, sadly there have been no houseworking elves in my world since I left the Mammy and moved into my own home. That is when I discovered that there are three types of unpaid labour that women are expected to do, without thanks or recognition let alone financial compensation.
Firstly, there is menial housework, as in the aforementioned bathroom and sitting room and repeat ad nauseum. I am talking about all the repetitive, boring stuff we have to do so that Health and Safety doesn’t stage an intervention. This is the work that is done primarily by women – and when the men do it, they expect a reprieve from all menial jobs for at least a month as well as a huge clap on the back while a Greek chorus plays “Isn’t He Wonderful” behind them. (Obviously, I’m talking about the majority of men here. There is a lot of empirical evidence to back me up, so please don’t email, text or tweet me saying you’re a bloke that does housework and I’m a nagging, ball breaking, feminazi. I get lots of communication like that already thank you.)
Second, there’s mental labour, which includes the planning of dinners, school lunches, kids clothes, dental appointments. It’s lying in bed figuring out play dates, present buying and how on earth you’re going to get the dishwasher repaired while picking up the groceries, visiting your Granny and working a full time job. It’s when you nag at your spouse or kids about having to do it all solo and they roll their eyes and say, “make a list” or “just tell me what needs doing”.
This drives me crazy because in the workplace, recognising and organising what needs to be done and then delegating those tasks is called management. This is a respected job which is rewarded with appropriate remuneration and status. When a woman does the same at home, it’s called nagging. There is no reward and no appreciation of your managerial skills. There is definitely no status associated with it. Except the status of skivvy and martyr.
Third, there’s emotional labour, which involves ensuring that everyone stays happy, included, cared for and satisfied.
Arlie Hochschild, the sociologist who introduced this phrase, defined it as work (paid and unpaid), where you “induce or suppress feeling in order to sustain the outward countenance that produces the proper state of mind in others”. Bluntly, it’s putting a smile on your face as you serve Christmas dinner when all you want to do is tell the world to feck off and then lock yourself in the sitting room with the dog and a large (bottle of) gin to watch reruns of Poirot (me, pretty much every Christmas Day).
You don’t have to be a feminist to resist doing the three types of work I mention above. You just have to be a man. Because, to answer Caitlin Moran’s question, “Are the boys doing it?” in the vast amount of cases they most certainly are not. They will leave the cooking and cleaning to you but assume they are doing their fair share if they fill the dishwasher after Christmas dinner and wash the odd pot.
It is the biggest mystery of all time. Why – despite all the advances of feminism - do women still do the lion’s share of housework, the second shift? Why, in 2019, does the latest ESRI study show that women spend double the time of men on caring and more than twice as much time on housework? The simple answer is that most men don’t want to do all that stuff. Why should they – it’s thankless work. And while women continue to cook, clean for them and pick up their dirty socks, they don’t have to.
Ladies, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time to strike. And then wait to see if Mrs Santa sends those house elves to visit. You never know, you just might get a Christmas miracle. And if not, at least you’ll have a less stressful one.
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nagumoan · 7 months
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Yandere Sampo driving you into financial ruin so you have to come to him for help
You're a clever little thing so you'd never fall for his schemes but he's a man with many connections.
Suddenly your rent goes up and it's hard to pay with the salary from your little side gig. You're a struggling Student after all. Suddenly you've caused damage to someone's belongings after running into them and it just so happens that it was a collector's item or a gift by their grandma. Paying for it to compensate is a given but it leaves you without much for yourself.
Little things like that pile up until you're at his door, asking if that offer he made you a while ago still stands. If it'd be okay to crash on his couch until you find a new place, until you save up some money to do anything, really.
And of course he lets you in, you poor little thing. You tell him about what you got yourself caught up in and he frowns, patting your leg and tutting you softly, telling you that he could just take care of you andnlet you live with him while you focus on your studies. You could pay him by doing housework for him. It's such a generous and kind offer, way better than working three jobs that you'd be a fool not to accept. As sneaky as Sampo is, he's showing you so much kindness when you're at rock-bottom
It doesn't occur to you that it's difficult to escape his grasp without any financial means to your name
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ahiddenpath · 2 months
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Life Update
Just checking in.
It's been going... mixed, lately? Nothing terrible, but I have a lot on my mind. I feel in flux, like I'm at an indiscernible turning point and need to make a huge decision.
Work and Life Choices
My work stress levels are on the high end, recently. I'm bringing a new assay to the company, and that's been difficult because... I can't ask anyone for help. No one has the knowledge, lol! My first trial run was a huge success, and I'm a bit blown away. Basically, work keeps asking me to do novel stuff with little support, and I just... Keep?? Delivering???? And I realize this sounds braggy, but like- No one is more surprised than I am, believe me.
Meanwhile, I was asked to help with selecting a lead candidate for a project, which is totally new to me and was always the responsibility of folks one, two, or more "steps" above me in the company hierarchy. I've never been given this opportunity, but also... The only reason I made headway is because a senior colleague kindly helped me. HOWEVER, my manager asked me to meet with him before showing my plan to the project co-lead, since I'm new to this. AND THEN HE PEACED OUT TO A CONFERENCE FOR A WEEK AND LEFT TWO DAYS EARLIER THAN EXPECTED. So. That really stressed me out! I still don't really know how to handle it, but you can only maintain that level of stress for so long. You eventually enter the universe of, "I cannot be fucked. I am unfuckable."
Although as an asexual bean lol-
The good news is that it really benefits me to gain this knowledge- it's within my wheelhouse, but it's always been considered above my pay grade until now. Contrast this with bringing new technologies to the company and working with new formats. Folks keep asking me how to use the machine that can purify mAbs (basically the most... simple/common antibody format used in biotech), and I keep telling them... I've never been assigned mAb work, so I have no idea. I'm over here working with VHH and IgA and weird multispecifics exclusively.
I got another email on Friday where my boss assigned me more novel stuff I've never done. I can't exactly argue when he's in a conference, but... I am... Unsure... How I can get all of this done, lmao???
On the other hand, I dove into my work benefits to figure something out, and I realized that... Um, my total compensation package is... Well, it's a lot better than anything I've had before, in terms of money. It's... Uh, it's a mixed feeling. Obviously, it's great to be paid better than I ever have been. But it also makes me feel more locked into this career and this place, because... It's finally "paying off." My husband and I have been talking about starting a family, but I told him that I don't see myself having children in a household with two working parents and no support.
This is deeply personal, and obviously income plays a role, too. Many American families cannot afford two working parents, because daycare costs more than one or both parents' salaries. In our case, I make less than my husband, but after taxes and contributing to retirement, daycare would cost about 45% of my remaining take home.
However.
On Friday, I asked a colleague who I just met how she was doing. She had dark bags under her eyes- the kind of thing written about in novels, but rarely seen in real life. And she replied, "Well, I haven't been able to stop working long enough to eat for a few days. I came home and my children were needy and we have a new puppy who was wrecking things and I just went in my room and shut the door and sobbed."
That was a bit intense for a first ever "how are you," but regardless... This is so many women I know, including my mother. I absolutely have seen involved and loving husbands/fathers, but I've seen more who work and then vanish into the mancave the rest of the time. I have a teammate who purposefully works from 1-7 PM to avoid his kids and inlaws, leaving childcare, food, and housework to his wife (and frankly, he made me do his work for half a year until I cracked and told my boss to remove me from working closely with him). My husband is a gem who frankly takes care of me more than I take care of him, so I don't have to fear this, but...
Well, we don't have support. It would be us vs the world with a baby, and my country offers nothing to help families out. And, as we all know, the costs needed to live (housing, healthcare, education, food) are drastically rising.
I really do not know what the next steps in my life are, and I'm already at the point of "geriatric" pregnancy (mid thirties). Do I keep up with this challenging, interesting career that pays well, but is incredibly stressful? Do I have a child and give up the career? Do I try to do it all (two parents who work full time and a kid)? Will I end up like my colleague if I do that? Will giving up my job make me feel unfulfilled? Will the loss of income wreck me someday?
Stress, Creating, Self Care
So, like... I've been stressed, as you might notice. My ear started ringing, with varying intensity and pitch, so I couldn't sleep on Thursday night. Thankfully, it stopped after about 24-32 hours, because I was losing my mind! The internet listed stress as a cause, and... Yeah, I'm thinking it's that.
On top of this, my husband was away for work from Wednesday to Saturday, so I ran the house by myself and was on my own. I was slammed last week and did not have any mental juice to spare.
I haven't done much creatively in February. I can't get my brain to do it, but I'm also not really trying? Usually, when I'm not creating, Bad Things are happening. I'm not sure if I'm there or not, or if I just have other things going on right now? I am getting the sense that I need to do more for myself. I'm not... Sure... What that is, though.
I'm thinking exercise. I gained weight over the pandemic, and lately I feel physically and mentally lethargic. So... Eating better and exercise are probably what I should focus on right now?
I can never seem to keep the mental health, physical health, work, relationships, and chore balls in the air. I tend to drop the physical health ball most readily, which goes about as well as you'd imagine.
I'm hoping to figure out what fun stuff my husband and I might do this year. I need something to look forward to, because it's been so easy (tempting, even?) to feel overwhelmed by all the scary and uncertain things.
I have not been creating, and I have not been online much. Apologies for that. It's one of those "my cup is empty" periods, but I'm not in trouble. I'm just sort of... Looking at the empty cup and going, "Hmm. I should fill this, but, uh... How?" And also, "What kind of cup do I want in the future?"
I truly hope you're all taking care and holding on and finding ways to flourish. It's hard, man. I'm wishing you wellness, kindness, love, growth, support, and well-being. Thanks for caring about me <3
Love,
Hidden
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creepy-crowleys · 1 month
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It kind of comes down to what you want to do with your undead construct.
If you just want something to help with housework or chores (and you don't want a less morbid construct for whatever reason), ethically sourced components are fine. Animal components work perfectly well, relatively peaceful ends make for calmer constructs, and gentle treatment in life can be passed on and reflected in the formation of the construct.
But if you want a guardian of some kind or an undead army, suffering makes for more aggressive constructs. Painful deaths, abuse of remains, and souls torn from their rest builds into resentment of the living. The constructs tend to be stronger, more violent. Easy to lose control of though. Hatred builds power faster than many necromancers can compensate for, the constructs get smarter, they learn how to best hurt their creator, exploit the limits of their bindings. It usually ends in disaster for the necromancer and anyone around them.
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holywarrascal · 1 month
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First gen trio messed up and they will have to apologize to their wives. Quan shrunk Ethlyn's new sweater in the washer, Eldigan accidentally shattered Grahnye's floral plate, and Sigurd forgot to properly lock the car and Baby Seliph climbed into the trunk and fell asleep. What do you think they will do to convey how remorseful they are and how?
Quan is a stubborn soul, unwilling in most situations to concede much of anything, but his wife is made of sterner stuff. He is soon a victim of the omnipotent silent treatment, an onslaught of cold glares, blank stares, and overall aloofness. Gremlyn's mental warfare is strong enough to bring a grown warrior, the bearer of Gae Bolg, to his knees, until he's begging for mercy for his crimes against fabrickind. Only after performing dramatic repentance can he be forgiven.
The Lionheart is much more easily swayed without the need for guerilla warfare on the part of his wife, and instead opts for a sulking apology, grumbling out his sorrys and promising to repay her "whichever way would please." Instead of monetary compensation, Grahnye demands his attendance for her couples' activity/class of choice, much to his dismay.
Sigs is a puppy husband. On seeing Deirdre's concern once she finds out about his "grave mistake", he becomes the unmatched househusband, undertaking all of her typical responsibilities to make up for it. Cleaning, cooking, hands-on babysitting (as she watches with the most intense expression), the works. Poor sap feels so guilty, and is easily forgiven once he fumbles his way through the housework. Deirdre's too taken with him to punish him for long.
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ambercast · 3 months
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❧ Name: Abigail Cromwell ❧ Nickname: Abby ❧ Age: 25 ❧ Gender: Cis woman, she/her  ❧ Orientation: Bisexual ❧ Relationship: Single  ❧ Occupation: Dog Walker  ❧ Residence: Town ❧ Role: Hunter ❧ Title: The Advisor ❧ Faceclaim: Katie Douglas
❧ Personality -
Friendly / Empathetic / Responsible / Loyal Impulsive / Blunt / Nosy / Overprotective
❧ Introduction -
Abby and her twin sister Wendy were raised by a teenage single mother. She did her best and Abby always admired the woman and how strong she was. She wanted to be that strong.
As the older twin, she took on more responsibility, allowing Wendy to stay a child for as long as possible. She was the one to help her mother with the cooking and cleaning and housework, and though she never complained about it, it did lead to frequent burnout which she compensated for by goofing off with Wendy or hooking up with various friends to blow off steam. She didn’t regret any of it, though. Wendy deserved the childhood their mother never got, and Abby was determined to make sure she got it.
This did sometimes lead to some frustration and resentment, however, as Wendy never seems to take anything seriously, even now as adults. Abby gets it. She really does. She wishes she could be as carefree and childish as Wendy. But she can’t. She has to be the responsible one. The protector. The second parent. But it’s fine. It’s fine. She’s fine.
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gothhabiba · 1 year
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again I understand that this is also pushback against the idea that housework is uniquely fulfilling to Womanly Nature and that there are differences in how housework & "work" work are compensated--but what kind of absolute gall does it take to be like "don't be stuck in the same house every day doing nothing productive... instead go and be stuck in the same workplace every day, also probably doing nothing productive"
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