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tessenpai · 3 years

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Chika and Satowa: Skinship

I absolutely love Chika and Satowa's relationship, to the point, it's probably the one I like most in manga. There are several reasons for that: The respect they have for each other, the understanding, the deep care... The way Amu-sensei has developed it over the years makes it one of the best slow-burn romances I've ever seen, one in which it never feels like it's dragging you along. No, they are not an official pair as of yet, but the process and the growth we witness as readers is so beautiful in itself, so inevitable, that you just enjoy every second of the ride.

This topic has come up recently in the Discord KOT server, and I must say it was such an interesting conversation that I had to write a post organizing my thoughts about it.

Skinship is something that any romance fan swoons about. We all love a hug, a caress, a sign of affection when we see our OTP. Skinship is especially important in Chika and Satowa's relationship, and it is something that has developed splendidly while revealing some other complicated stuff.

Going back to chapter 2, Chika and Satowa's first impressions of each other was... not ideal. They fought all the time and didn't seem to see eye to eye. That of course changes throughout the manga, as we all know. However, the skinship between the two, and the meaning of touching each other also changes dramatically.

In the early chapters of Kono Oto Tomare! neither of them seems to feel like touching each other is much of a big deal, yes he notices that her hand is small, but what really interests him is how her hands show her hard work. Touching her, at this point, doesn't really hold any romantic feelings on either side. He even takes care of her fever and stays over at her place, and it was no biggie!! But then a change commences happening.

The first one to change is Satowa. She starts to get to know Chika better, and learns about his kindness and his dedication to Koto, as well as how caring he is towards his friends (took care of her when she was sick, told her she could talk about her family situation whenever she was ready, pushed her to have lunch with her school friends...), Satowa starts being aware of Chika as a man. Things that before wouldn't face her, now feel completely different for her

Chika, on the other hand, still seems fairly unaffected by physical contact with Satowa at this point. He is not a guy that goes out of his way to touch people and is not a touchy-feely person anyways. However, when Satowa falls on his arms and very much reacts, Chika doesn't know what to make of that and mistakes her reaction with anger/embarrassment. When Sane comes through the door and sees them in that position, he scolds Chika, but Chika isn't really listening to him and instead is trying to understand the reason for her reaction. In the end, he concludes he must have touched her breast on accident and decides to receive Sane's punishment in silence. Because for him there is no other reason for her to react that way... it was a very innocent exchange on his part after all.

It all changes after The Incident. Yes, it requires capital letters and bold cursive letters, because when Chika's lips end up in Satowa's brow, a huge turn is made in their relationship. It was a very innocent accident. No real meaning behind it. But at this point, Satowa, who was doing fine in ignoring the awareness and keeping Chika as only a friend and clubmate, is unable to do so any longer. She didn't expect it, and she did not know how to react to it. For her, it was not only physical awareness anymore. And she had no way to ignore the feelings that were developing towards him.... although she gave it an honest try there, much to Chika's dismay, who couldn't understand why Satowa was suddenly avoiding him.

Let's take a moment to remember Chika is a kid that grew up with a parent that blamed him for everything that went wrong in his life, he was blamed for the trashing of his grandfather's shop, and he carries a lot of self-blame for his gang days when he used to hurt people on the daily with his fists. So of course, the only reason he can think for Satowa's sudden avoidance is that he must have hurt her. Tetsuki, an innocent bystander, tries to be a supportive friend and recommends Chika to give her time.

You see, ever since he first heard Satowa play the koto, Chika has had as a goal to be able to stand by her side. For him, there is no one above her in the koto world and, the way I see it, Chika believes that if he can be acknowledged as fit to be a koto player by her side, then without a doubt he has earned the right to play it. After all, if he caught up to the person he most admires, anyone who said differently was not worth listening to. So when suddenly Satowa pushes him away, not only is he surprised, but he is hurt and lost.

After the school festival, Satowa is able to put in order her feelings. Hiro does this by "turning her feelings into her strength". Satowa's way leans more towards "the competition is near and I can not be distracted by these feelings. I don't even know what they are and I don't want to think about it. Koto and club come first anyways". Chika is giddy that their dynamic is back to normal. She has "forgiven" him and is not avoiding him anymore.

As with music, Chika is a step behind Satowa when it comes to the milestones in their relationship. While Satowa was very much aware of Chika as a guy, he just admired her as a musician. But The Incident not only was a turning point for Satowa in realizing her feelings... But for Chika as well to start being very much aware of Satowa.

It is interesting to see the difference in this awareness compared to Satowa's. I believe Chika's feelings go hand in hand with his admiration towards her. The more he admires her, the more she observes her, and as a consequence feelings develop. But with that comes one thing Satowa did not have: the urge to touch. Satowa was always aware of why she was flustered and of course, would not willingly put herself in a situation where she would not be able to handle her feelings (by touching him). Chika on the other hand does not really understand the why of his sudden impulses, but he is VERY aware he has them... Because he needs to control them or otherwise Satowa could start avoiding him again.

He becomes acutely aware of wanting to touch Satowa all the time because he fears her rejection. He fears he can no longer be by her side if he gives in to his impulses. And we see several examples of this happening.

Chika, in fact, believes him touching her makes her scared/uncomfortable with him. So any time he does end up touching her, he is very scared he has hurt her or scared her because he was careless.

In this second incident, Satowa for the first time assures him that she is NOT scared of him. Granted, she was surprised, but not SCARED. "We spend all the time together, I am not scared of you in any way". And the relief Chika feels by her words is so sweet! He did not hurt her or scare her in any way, and she is not pulling away!! But of course, this was just an accident, not Chika actively giving in to his impulses. So he STILL has to control himself.

This second incident lets us know where Satowa stands where skinship with Chika is involved. What she says while running IS significant: "When you don't even know how I feel---". The problem is not Chika touching her (even though hugging/cuddling in bed might have been a little too much too soon for her), but the fact that that touch does not mean the same for him. From Satowa's perspective, Chika is still unaffected by the physical touch, while SHE IS IN LOVE WITH THE GUY and can barely contain her feelings as it is. Little does she know Chika does think touching her is a huge deal. To be clear, boy can barely keep his hands to himself half of the time. And only because the other half his hands are busy playing the koto.

And then, The Third Incident happens. It is so huge it shall be referred to as TTI. Yes, it gets it's own acronym:

There is so much to analyze here. Oh boy. I'm going to give it my best attempt.

First off, this scene is parallel to the first time they touched (the first pic in this post). We have come a long way since then... They were two strangers at that time... In fact, they didn't really like each other. But now... They VERY MUCH like each other now. While Chika only knows he wants to touch her so bad that he has to stop himself from doing it because he does not think it would be welcomed, Satowa is aware of her own feelings and Chika's and does not find his touch unwelcome per se... is just that it would be better if they were on the same page as of what it makes her feel. What a catastrophic combination, because as a result Chika pushes her hand away, and Satowa thinks he is rejecting her. And when they are at granny's it all blows out.

Satowa is unsettled because he is suddenly physically rejecting her. Chika is once again scared of having hurt her. And he says aloud what his problem is: "It's for me, so I don't put my hands on you all the time".

Satowa... didn't really get his meaning. We all collectively facepalmed with Hiro and went together to scream into the void when Satowa said "Don't lie, you are not the kind of person who hits girls". But she DID get what he said afterward, or more like, what he did NOT say. When Chika apologized and stated he was "the germ", Satowa was absolutely heartbroken that her attitude made Chika apologize and think he had done some terrible thing to her. So the next day, and after reflecting on what to do with her feelings to not hurt him nor the club anymore, she tells him that he didn't do anything wrong that the TV program put her on edge and she dumped it on him. That he has never made her feel uncomfortable, not at all.

While, as an audience, we tend to focus more on Satowa in this scene, and how she is going by what Hiro went through when she tried to suppress her feelings for the sake of the club, this is a deal changer for Chika. And it's EVEN MORE of a deal changer after going to Satowa's house.

Remember when I said Chika is always one step behind Satowa?

Well, it's still true:

These panels have so much significance... Chiharu asked Chika what he thinks of Satowa... And we can follow Chika's train of thought and how he derails it. He can only think about her when she received that flower, that moment when he could barely contain himself from dragging her to him... and then the "Win the Nationals" club poster flashes through his mind. Chika is not exactly the same as Satowa here. Satowa knew in a way what was going on with her but didn't want to acknowledge it. Chika on the other hand absolutely cuts that train of thought as soon as it goes in that direction. Is not that he doesn't want to acknowledge it... It's that he won't even allow himself to think about it. And it's to be expected from a guy who struggles to see himself as fit to play koto besides her... how to allow himself to openly be in love with her?

And somehow, Satowa gets it... Not that he is cutting the train of thought that leads to "I am in love with her", but the fact that he sees himself as below her. And she understands the only way for them to be together is for him to feel like they are on equal footing: "You have to catch up to me by Nationals. Catch up."

You see, in the same way The Incident made Satowa realize very real feelings were getting involved while for Chika it made him be aware of her physically, TTI let us see Satowa really wants Chika to be besides her... not just following behind her, while for Chika, is his moment to realize very real feelings are involved. See? One step behind. Hiro pushes Satowa even further when she helps her treasure those feelings instead of suppressing them.

But back to skinship... What did TTI do for their skinship? Well, after TTI Chika allows himself to touch her, and we can see him being more open on his protectiveness and how touching her, or her touching him brings him calm:

And post-TTI/conversation with Hiro, we have a Satowa who is very aware she is in love and fully embraces those feelings as something beautiful. Uzuki's incident has even pushed her to STOP letting go of Chika's hand, physically and metaphorically. This is not the Satowa who would cower because she could not handle her feelings when he touched her... this is the Satowa who will grab Chika's hand no matter what. And following the theme of "Chika being one step behind", I wouldn't be surprised if one of the conclusions of the current arc is Chika acknowledging the fact that he is in love with Satowa. Letting himself feel it, without derailing that train of thought.

That theme is also the reason I believe Satowa will be the one to confess first, pushing Chika on the final step for them to be on the end line (or start line depending on your perspective). But it could also be Chika the one to confess, representing him having caught up to her... Symbolism, symbolism everywhere.

BONUS TRACK: While rereading the whole manga to put in order my thoughts for this essay, I just find hilarious how Luka hugged Satowa out of nowhere and Chika went: "Oh heck no, I have to control myself all the time and this dude comes and does WHAT?". Then, Luka referred to Satowa without honorifics, and Chika was downright IRKED (Chika, you don't use honorifics for anyone sir...). Is worth noting Satowa uses honorifics for absolutely everyone except Chika. To be fair, everyone uses honorifics with her, except Chika.

BONUS TRACK 2: Tetsuki the innocent bystander. Whenever Chika feels insecure about touching Satowa or having hurt/scared her? Ask Tetsuki, he has the answers. A true BFF.

#kono oto tomare #kono oto tomare!#kot #kot!#sounds of life #chika and satowa #houtsuki and kudou #kudou and houtsuki #kudou chika and houtsuki satowa #kudo chika and hozuki satowa #chitowa #chikawa #essay #analysis #tessenpai-kot-essays

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