#how CRASS

[run-with-the-wolvez]

Is this anything to anyone.

#i Might delete this later. #HOW CRASS #chip revvington #not going in the main tag.

[see-arcane]

Dracula 99% of the time: What’s up, mortals, I’m here to drink and terrorize you

Everyone: D:>

Dracula going to the zoo: Hello, Mr. Zookeeper, I like your wolves :)

Thomas ‘Gives -10 Shits About Rancid Vampire Vibes’ Bilder: Fuck off

#NOTE: We're going to see in a much later chapter that Dracula is weirdly flummoxed by one thing beyond garlic blossoms and crosses #and that thing is surly workers whose flight or fight response to fear was replaced by the 'Fuck Off' response #I wonder if it honestly just baffles him out of doing violence #he's so used to humans being scared or playing valiant hero against him #he has no idea how to deal with wholly average crass folks telling him off #kind of love it #dracula #thomas bilder #dracula daily

[butmakeitgayblog]

Oh we're gettin fed good tomorrow

#oh my #not to be crass on the lord's day but I want her to fuck the absolute dogshit out of me and idk how else to say it #look at her #she's so high fashion now #girlie living her dream

[phoenixphire24]

About a month ago @crayonturtle posted a doodle of Zolf that was just so shaped, I asked if I could make a cookie cutter out of it. I did and now the cookies have been made!

Hamid and Oscar got into some baking shenanigans while Zolf was out for the afternoon. Zolf is both impressed (Oscar didn’t burn the kitchen down) and horrified. They sell out almost immediately.

#rqg #rusty quill gaming #zolf smith #baking #cookies #obviously Oscar made a crass joke about how Zolf tastes #they’re maple flavor #in case you were wondering #I thought about taking a photo of a cookie with both of its legs bitten off #the CtL server has decided these are called Zookies

[thottybrucewayne]

I don't mean to sound mean but at some point you have to grow up. Like...the way niggas refuse to mature and think about the world around them for longer than two seconds is so frustrating. It's one thing to be an angsty teenager flippant about everything other than the things that interest them, but yall will be 38 years old running a fandom blog talking about "My desire for escapism and entertainment supersedes the wellbeing of others and the safety of the spaces I create." 24/7 365.

#thotty speaks #thotty rants #like...I see anime fans in their 30s making the same crass bigoted jokes they were making in high school and its like... #are you not embarrassed? this is really embarrassing! #I don't excuse bigotry/misogyny/gross jokes from teenagers either mind you but it makes sense why a teenager would say and do those things #because that's just how they are but yall big big over grown ass niggas? #at your ripe age of 30 and above acting like this and saying these things is so... #and you wonder why youre single????

[fictionadventurer]

I know I just said that we shouldn't categorize people in history, but when it comes to the presidential podcast, I do find myself sorting presidents into "good" and "garbage" piles based on how they treated their wife.

Good

Ulysses S. Grant gets top marks here. I'm not crazy about his wife, but he was, and they're cute together. She was sunny and upbeat enough to boost him through a lot of years of struggle, and he was devoted to both her and the children.

Theodore Roosevelt was a loving husband to both his wives and a ridiculously devoted father to all his children.

James Garfield starts out in the garbage pile because he married her without love and had an affair, but the way they both overcame that to fall deeply in love is a pretty beautiful redemption.

Woodrow Wilson seems to have had a pretty good relationship with his wife. I know less about them so this is a tentative classification, but she was willing to basically help run the country after his stroke, so it suggests there was something good there.

Garbage

Warren Harding reigns in the garbage can. Multiple unrepentant affairs with long-term mistresses.

FDR was already on pretty shaky ground in my mind, but once I learned he had an affair with Eleanor's secretary, and then Eleanor stayed with him through polio, and then at his death he was with this same secretary while Eleanor was away, he lost a lot of points.

Middle Ground

Lincoln and his wife had a pretty rocky relationship, but from what I can tell they tried to make it work and were planning on taking steps to improve things before his death.

Chester Arthur's wife hated that he was constantly away on political business, which gives him a lot of bad husband points, but also she did want that high-class, high-status lifestyle, and from what I can tell he did love her and had a lot of regrets after she died.

#history is awesome #presidential talk #i've got inklings about some of the other guys but can't say for sure #and i recognize that things are about to get worse and worse as we head deeper into the 20th century #one thing this podcast has done is make me lament even more the death of romance #some of these letters people wrote in the 19th century are wow #you don't get that level of emotional openness anymore #there is so much flowery language #so much emotional openness even from men #men waxing poetic about all the things they love about their wives #and then we hit warren harding and they specifically mention how modern his letters to his mistresses feel #because he's being blunt and crass #and the people are like 'on one level it's relatable and kind of cool to see that they're people like us' #but i'm just like 'in what way is this an improvement?' #we've lost so much respect and decency and devotion and instead settle for cheap crass 'honesty' #i'd much rather make men live up to the higher standard

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Pls, Vince! Bring him some Latte, although he told you to shut it.❤️

Follows directly after this one

(also, @yet-another-heathen asked for heart palpitations for Jameson)

-

At some point he dozes back off. He's not sure when - he's sitting there hating himself and his stupid bullshit fucking legs and hating every single moment from the second Nanda had stopped short, looked at him sort of startled and said oh and then slumped sideways and gone down the stairs and... and it had all gone wrong, ever since, every single goddamn day.

Even when he'd thought it would get better, it didn't. He feels worse right now than ever.

Still.

He dozes off. Trash Cat lays down beside him, upside down with her ilttle paws bent in the air and her soft belly showing. Then she gets up and leaves again, padding silently down the hallway to go have violent daydreams about the birds in the trees outside.

He doesn't dream - he's not quite deeply asleep enough for that. But he's trapped somewhere at a distance from the pain, and it feels so good to even have that small slim barrier between him and his legs that he could cry from gratitude.

There's a time when maybe he slips totally under the surface.

The next thing he knows, there's a hand on his shoulder.

Jameson's eyes snap open.

Before he can even take into account what he sees, he's already throwing the punch with one hand. The other is under his pillow, closed around the handle of the knife.

His fist clocks Vincent Shield right over his left eye, sending him stumbling backwards into a small dresser, his arms pinwheeling, but he just slams back-first into it and then hits the ground. "Shit!"

It's his voice that brings Jameson back to reality. Wide-eyed, he sits up in bed with the knife brandished in one hand, the other aching with the aftermath of the hit. "... Vince?"

"Mmmf. Yeah." Vince's face is white, his cheek already turning bright red where Jameson's fist connected. His chest rises and falls rapidly, and he looks... terrified... of Jameson.

There's a necklace Allyn likes to wear but forgot on their last visit. It fell off the dresser and it currently lays draped over Vince's head like some kind of weird tiara, the pendant resting over his forehead.

Vince's voice shakes when he speaks. "You don't pull your punches, huh?"

Jameson's whole chest is cold. He swallows, hard, thinking of how Jake had fallen with a knife in him, the look on his face when Jameson had come back to himself and realized what he'd done. His heart stops - maybe beats slightly out of time - and he hitches a trembling inhale that feels like it whistles down his throat but stops somewhere before his lungs. "Oh fuck," He whispers. "Oh fuck. I'm sorry, oh shit-... fuck, Vince, shit-"

Vince's eyes go to the knife, but he doesn't move to run or even to get up. He just stays sitting right where he is. His hands are shaking, just a little. Jameson is reminded that that Owen Grant asshole used to knock Vince around, too.

Still.

The millionaire movie star inexplicably getting sober in Nat's house manages a smile. Slightly appeasing, a little bit scared. "You, uh... you good?"

"... no. No, I'm not. I'm not. Shit. Fuck! I could have stabbed you!"

"Didn't, though. Could you... put the, uh, the knife down, please?" Vince takes a deep breath, and then another. With every moment, he looks calmer - and Jameson feels increasing guilt edged with panic.

"Uh. Fuck. Yes. Yes, yeah, of course-" He slips the knife back under his pillow, and closes his eyes against the tears that threaten there.

"Besides," Vince says, groaning a little, "This one's probably my fault." He rubs at the back of his neck, picking the necklace out of his hair and setting it down on the floor beside him. "I'm the dumbass who woke a sleeping rescue without, like, calling from the doorway or something first. That was dumb. Damn it, Nat talked to me about this!"

Jameson feels... so much worse. Nat had to warn Vince about him? Of course she did. Because he's already stabbed somebody once. He almost hurt Nat, too, when he thought she was Robert. He could do it again, at any time. Any moment now. To anyone. His heart skips again and he coughs, it feels like the weird flip goes right up his throat. "She-... she did? About me?"

"What? No, not you specifically. When I first started coming around, like... a decade ago. She told me not to wake anyone up like this. Jesus, I'm an idiot."

Jameson is still trying to catch up to the waking world, and his legs are trying to drag him back down into the ache. He fights to stay present, here and now. "Why... why did you wake me up?"

"Uh. Well. Seems stupid now but..." Vince gestures over at the side table beside Jameson's bed. "I got you some coffee."

"You... what?"

"You wanted to go out for coffee, but then when I came by earlier it sounded like you were having a rough time, so I thought... you know. I'd bring some back. For you."

Jameson looks over, and sure enough - there's a thermos there, and when he leans down, he can smell the rich coffee aroma wafting up and out. "... I am such an asshole."

Vince considers that. "Sometimes."

"I yelled at you this morning."

"You did, yes."

"I told you to fuck off."

"A couple of times."

"Then I punched you in the fucking face when you brought me coffee-"

"No, you punched me in the face because I put my hand on you when you were in a dead sleep, knowing that people putting hands on you when you didn't ask for it is like half the reason you live here now." Vince smiles, and it's smaller and more tired than his magazine-photoshoot smile, but it's far more sincere. Jameson likes it more. "I'm sorry, Jameson. I didn't mean to scare you. God, I want a drink so bad right now. I was trying to drink coffee instead. Got stuck in kind of a cycle thinking about-... you know, Owen, this morning, and I thought coffee would help, but really what I want is a drink, you know?

"Yeah, I kind of do, except for me it's usually that I want a really good deep dicking-"

"Aaaaaand the sweet moment of bonding is gone." Vince turns a little red and gets to his feet, carefully, using the dresser for balance. He leans over to pick up the necklace and put it back where it was before. "Please never say the words 'deep dicking' in front of me again."

"What, you never want that?"

Vince closes his eyes, but he's still smiling, and so is Jameson. Some of the tension is gone, and some of the guilt and anger twisting inside of him goes with it. "Jameson-... Some days, there is literally nothing else I want in the whole world than to let someone in my bed again. But the idea of anyone touching me like Owen did makes me feel like cutting all my skin off."

"... oh. I've never felt like that. Even after Brute and Robert, I still like fucking. I guess that's the whole... like, natural slut thing-"

"I swear to God, you sound like Kauri used to sometimes, when I'd overhear him when I came by."

"I mean, we were both the same Designation-"

"... you know what, drink your coffee. I'm going to go put ice on my eye."

Jameson is struck every time by how utterly normal Vince looks, until he puts on the Vincent Shield Face, changes his posture, morphs into Celebrity Actor Millionaire Man. But you'd never know that, looking at this tired-looking man in his late forties just wishing life would stop throwing punches.

"Vince, I really am sorry."

Vince shrugs. "Me, too. But hey - I look more rugged and manly this way, right?" He disappears out the door, and Jameson shifts to get himself braced against the headboard and his pillows, one leg twitching with nerve pain, but at least the other has calmed down to the usual dull ache he can handle.

He picks up his coffee and takes a sip. It's still hot like it's freshly made, and he exhales slowly, closing his eyes.

How long will it take to stop being ready to throw a punch when someone wakes him up after he falls asleep alone?

What if it never stops?

What if he throws a punch at Allyn?

He drowns the fear in hot coffee and hopes it stays away long enough for him to drag himself to the bathroom for a shower.

#whump #jameson bb #vincent shield is not a hero #escaped whumpees #recovering whumpees #traumatized whumpee #box boy universe #bbu #box boy #brief reference to alcoholism #crass language #derogatory language #but Jameson uses it towards himself #you can see how Vince and Kauri have a little in common here

[seal-berry]

another semi prominent twitter artist has weighed in on hazbin and i gotta say my least favorite hazbin take ever is "angel dust is the only salvageable character but i only like him when hes not saying swears and sex jokes" because its like. oh you mean the sex jokes he specifically uses as a litmus test for judgy assholes that you wouldve just failed?

#angel dust #hazbin hotel #very i support survivors but only those who cope in ways i like #people who hate swearing and sex jokes in media i will never make anything for you #i think the crits from the uwu types are the worst because this criticism boils down to #how DARE you depict a hypersexual and crass abuse survivor #noooo dont make the gay character make sex jokes we need to be pureeeee #people rly dont get his character which isnt surprising but its funny to see them pull the “baby please this isnt the real you” #baby please stop making popsicle dick jokes youre limiting how much i can view you as a perfect victim!!!

[pocketgalaxies]

"APPARENTLY HE WAS TAKEN BY CRICKS!"

"can we call them kryn please? that's what they actually are."

"APPARENTLY HE WAS TAKEN BY KRYN!"

#something important to say about how jester cares about these things and will nudge the party to care too #bc the party by default leans a little crass just because that's how they are #but they respect each other and it's so easy for one of them to set them all on a slightly better course #1h49m c2e49 #text #critical role #cr2 #cr lb #jester lavorre #beauregard lionett #ship: beaujester #r: mighty nein

[matchbet-allofthetime]

My god, I NEED Lord Raiden to bend me over a table and just-

AKDKFJFJFJFJFHDH I need this man to pin me down and KEEP me there FUCK

#i am so down bad for lord raiden... #never a day in my life will this change #loved him since i first played a single mk game years and years ago 😭 #he's everything #and very very hot #how dare he not be in my bed rn #lord raiden #lord raiden fuckers come get y'all juice ❤️ #I'm never going to be sorry for the crass shit i say #i have a mighty need #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat #any version of lord raiden idfc #i need him so badly #lightning daddy #thunder dilf #djdjdkfj god he's hauntingly beautiful

[mwagneto]

apologies for the extremely crass post i'm about to make but it's absolutely wild to me how the gomens fandom treats genitals and gay sex like even disregarding the weird ass "making an effort" thing, the fact that "one of them has a dick and the other has a pussy coz it makes sex easier/more convenient/whatever" is a take i see relatively often is ? fucking insane ?? like even just beyond the obvious extremely strange anti-sodomy homophobia of literally saying piv sex is better than anal sex it's like. do people just assume gay men have anal sex coz they wanna have piv sex but lack the hole for it so they have to make do ??????? like you guys realise gay men have anal sex coz they like being fucked in the ass right? you guys are aware of this right

#LIKE IT'S SO CRAZY ????? SORRY ??????????? LIKE HUH? WHAT♥ #it's soooo . bonkers how homophobic this fandom is like ohhhhhhmy god #like mf. maybe examine why you think one thing's superior to the other😭😭😭 bruh #it's a thing i see in all fandoms but it's specifically weird in this one coz they make it Even Weirder #but in general when fandoms write/talk abt trans men and it's alwaayyyssssss p1v w them bottoming #like . i honestly don't even really have an argument like this feels so obvious idek what the hell to SAY #IT'S SO WEIRD. WHY DO YOU HATE GAY MEN SO MUCH... #good omens #gomens #ask to tag idk what to tag this i hate being expl cit or crass but this drives me crazy 😭

[monkshooded]

So sick of the "independent and feisty" hermione characterisation... this is a woman who smells her crush in love potions, sees him in magical mirrors of desire, calms down at his scent, and threatens to kill him if he even considers divorce

#i think its so funny that ron was like omg we've been married for soooo long 🥰 and hermione was like so u want? a divorce?? #why would that be your first conclusion!! #hint: it's because she's mad at him for marrying padma patil in a different parallel universe #hermione is definitely the kind of person who has a terrible dream about ron kissing some other broad #and then gives him the cold shoulder for a week #which. ron was also this person. #look i rlly do think they're just a SMIDGE toxic during their school years bc of how BAD they are at this being in love with your bff thing #but god. its so fucking FUN #get worse! throw up on the street bc she kissed someone else!! commit aggravated battery bc he got a girlfriend !!! KISS WITH A FIST DOT MP3 #theyre so monumentally possessive about each other u can tell they just want to. live inside each others ribcages. #sorry for being crass. but you know they fuck nasty after the war.

[glitchtricks94]

Yeah, the Hashira are cute, but have you seen Gyutaro? He's just utterly deranged, spiteful, mean, and I dunno, I wanna kiss his pretty face until he can't think straight.

No one can blame me for having a taste for deranged men, I've pretty much always been this way towards people I can tell just need a pair of soft hands to gnaw on while they get snuggles. That and I don't really care, I love my deranged pond scum man 💜💜💜💜💜💜

#glitchrambles.txt #gyutaro #gyutaro rambles #He's in my brain again and he won't leave #Like yeah I got a thing for Kyo #But sadly his bright eyes and cute smiles just can't top the shark teeth and insanity Gyu has #There's just something about him #I can't resist #He's just so alluring with his crooked and cruel smile and crass mannerisms #Like #I love digging into his mind you know? It's a fascinating dissection and study of how those around someone shape them #Makes me wanna be a big sister to Daki because I would love another sibling #Like I already have a bunch online why not add another lol #And I wanna cradle Gyutaro's head to my chest and pet his hair and trace that marks he has and- #I just need to coddle him for awhile #It's a need at this point

[originalartblog]

Shut up for one minute, ok? Let me say something. Je t'aime aussi, bâtard de maquereau momifié. Je t'ai toujours aimé."

My first entry for the SKK Big Bang 2022! I was paired with Sylana (writer) and GrilledCheezy (beta) for Sylana's post-dark era fanfic Cold Weather! <3

#the french says ''I love you too mummified mackerel bastard. I always have.'' #we had to change 'bandaged' to 'mummified' to avoid some uuuuh crass meaning in french lol #protip: don't trust automatic translators and don't use ''bandé'' it will not come across as you want it AKDSJHFKJD #anyway this was a challenge and i'm quite pleased with how it came out! <3 #especially chuuya's face i peaked there #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd fanfic #skkbigbang2022 #skk #soukoku #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #nawy's art #how to regret working with a big canvas for once in your life: try to upload it on tumblr #scars #to be safe

[spotsupstuff]

What happened to suns?

NSH: This man has done irrepairable damage to my mental facilities. That's a crime, y'know?! Messin' up an Iterator's noggin cogs??? They are a *filthy* criminal.

serious answer: a sequence of unfortunate events, basically. idk how long you've been here so i'll start from the beginning

Suns is a very early Gen 2 Iterator. the jump between the 1st n the 2nd Generation went physically very smoothly, but when it comes to the more subtle aspects of a person, it went worse. early Gen 2s r known for bein bad with emotions (the other Iterator that is like that that shows up is Fish. he's rather emotionally crass and unwieldy)

Suns scored the worst possible lottery result while spinning the early Gen 2 emotion capability wheel and their emotional skill and ability to produce the stuff in the first place is in the single digits. they are very conscious of this fault of theirs and instead of doing something more productive with it more often, they rather spend their single digit emotion capability on bemoaning and despising this fault

they do come to Nish for help with it, basically have therapy sessions with him (Nish is the most emotion-capable Iterator in like... Ever) and they do put up a front of this cool, chill, amazing guy persona around themselves to get better accepted by the other Iterators (all of them except Gen 3s know that this cool guy thing is a ruse though. they appreciate the effort however). so they kinda awkwardly fake emotions n go on through their life. this persona is who Pebbles ultimately decided to look up to as his mentor btw. it was never really the real Suns, only maybe some glimpses of it

next unfortunate event shows up first mentioned in my old big headcanon post for the canon Iterators:

(Suns is built quite close to the south pole, though the summer months can still get stupid hot)

at some point i started headcanoning that my Suns has very slow processing time. like absolute Shit reflex time. like

this is canon ☝

n then i put these two headcanons Together ✨ so basically: because of the lack of emotional capability, Suns feels a big need to compensate for stuff. even though the Solis colony is one of the sweetest and kindest colonies out there, they felt like they need to give More. so they started running hotter for the sake of their citizens. but yanno, periodic basically overheating is going to cause damage to hardware shit, not to mention the poor fauna that makes up an Iterator Hivemind. and that's how Suns damaged their processing speed

now as to why i say Suns would go offline in the post-mass ascension off string au: they are falling apart at the seams. torturously slow, but terribly. they are rotting alive- but not in the same way as Pebbles, it's not THE Rot. it's just... a rot. natural decay, not godly cancer. their nickname in DMs between me n shkiki is literally mr. Decay cuz of this

because of a combo of their slow processing time, their location (snowstorms + changing temperatures that go into extremes on pretty much both sides of the spectrum) and their pre-occupation with Pebbles related matters, Suns got yo normal booboo and didn't treat it and when they finally directed attention to themselves, a good portion of them has already decayed including the puppet

yes, they are That wigged that they didn't notice one of their most important parts rotting alive while even using it. this whole thing i refer to as hot girl summer arc btw

after Spears' campaign (they notice they have an infection during the slug's journey back to them) Suns is so fucked up over everything that they just go "Fuck it. why try anymore. i won't fight this. at least i feel *something* rather than nothing, i suppose. i deserve this." and allow their condition to only worsen and don't tell people about it

in the time of the Hunter's campaign i can imagine that they'd be so caked in all of this shit, all physically, emotionally and mentally, that they just wouldn't try at all to save themselves

and fact is, the others will try to help them. especially Wind will. but at some point a person needs to recognize that nothing is going to go anywhere if the other party refuses to put in any effort into getting better too and only drags the innocent one down right along with themselves

#spot says stuff #rw #ask to tag #ill be honest when it comes to suns i keep forgettin n ignoring their apology pearl for some reason gkjsdlcklmmckdsl #all i have on mind r some of the broadcasts... but Mainly the vanilla dialogues -waves- hi pre-DP bitch here #so my characterization stems a lot from those with vague DP stuff sprinkled in- Suns is a pessimistic piece of work that means well but- #-only manages to drag other people down with themselves. thats how i had them 2 years ago n im content stickin to my guns for the most part #readin the spears pearl... like idk suns feels very mechanical/logical/crass for smth as sensitive as this. kinda arrogant #certain things that Suns canonically says Makes Me Uncomfy and Bristly

[estradasphere]

i cant post the audio here because my internet is being shit, but it tickles me so much that esphere once played for a group of elementary schoolers

#it's very cute and also very very funny considering how crass they can be. john is trying to teach them about music and being like #''i'm gonna ask our friend GEORGE our PROMOTER OF LITERACY to help us with this song ^_^'' #''we also have a VIOLIN which is like a BASS but a little bit smaller right? ^_^'' #god imagine being in like 4th grade and these long-haired weirdos come to your school and play super mario jazz medley for you #just blows your head clean off #estradaposting