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#how can you not
junodoom · 2 months
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behold, my favorite part of scum villain (the AMOUNT of headcanons let me tell you)
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Astarion & Scratch: Compromising for Tav Affection
This idea is entirely from @nairil-daeris and it's so cute!
~
Despite what some may have believed, Astarion wasn't that against associating with animals. He was actually a fan of a few of them, cats mainly considering their penance for cleanliness and independence. Not to mention they were admittedly adorable. And stood as the one type of beast that Astarion never feasted upon.
So no, he didn't hate animals in principle. He only hated a select few, with reason. Like the type that could rip him apart with their claws and fangs. Or the ones that thought that rolling around in their own filth was a worthwhile pastime. All and all, creatures that Astarion didn't have to deal with on the regular. Or at least not until now.
But here he was, stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere, with his ragtag group of merry weirdos. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate his own acceptance into your little group. He did, immensely. By the look of things out here in this hellscape, he probably would have been murdered ten times over if he had remained alone. Or gods forbid, become a goblin's chew toy.
So while he had no intentions of leaving, he was still frustrated. Especially with the pretty little druid that quickly became their de facto leader. Astarion had been vaguely aware that druids had an intense love for nature and all of its creatures. But that hadn't prepared him for how unreasonable that love could be. It felt as though you would take literally every opportunity you had to speak to any lowly pest on the side of the road.
Not to mention your insistence on taking care of a damned owlbear cub, which was an objectively stupid thing to do. Something that he should have fought you on harder but... he wasn't made of stone. The thing was objectively adorable. Even if it was almost certainly destined to grow up and try to kill you all, Astarion kept his mouth mostly shut.
But then came the dog. That god-damned dog. How a singular mutt could make his life so damn difficult, Astarion wasn't sure. But he did know that he was trying to enact a well-thought out plan. Seduce you, foster a protective affection that was strong enough for you to always want him alive, perhaps use you to defeat Cazador if the parasites proved strong enough, and then effectively abandon you for a new life of freedom.
It was all very simple, and he had gotten a great head start. You had spent the last few weeks flirting with each other, always staying close. You gravitated towards each other, a fact that felt more natural than Astarion would have liked. But... he had found himself enjoying his time with you, genuinely. Not that it mattered, but it was definitely a plus for his plan. Being with you was far from unbearable. You were attractive, sweet, a little angel just begging to be corrupted. A job that Astarion was growing excited to start.
He had been so, so close to fully propositioning you, completely confident that you would agree. And then Scratch happened. He hadn't thought much of it when you came across the little mutt. Maybe it would stay with the corpse of its owner or it would be another hanger-on like the owl bear. He hadn't had a horse in the race either way.
But then he did show up to the camp, looking so sad and dejected that even Astarion couldn't be bothered that his arrival completely interrupted his first attempt at asking you to bed. He had watched you pet and whisper to him for the rest of the night, providing a comfort that only a druid could.
Which was fine. Or at least it had been for that one night. That one night that kept repeating. Because suddenly, that damned dog was everywhere. The quiet nights the two of you had together by the fire, talking about anything and everything with your thighs pressed together now included Scratch squeezing himself into the middle.
The orchestrated moves he would do to make you blush, like removing a non-existent speck from your cheek with his thumb or leaning in close to remove a leaf from your hair, were getting harder and harder to pull off. The damned mongrel was always there, and any attempts Astarion took to get close to you Scratch used as an invitation to jump all over him. If he had it to wash his face of dog slobber one more time from the crime of trying to hold your hand, he was going to go ballistic.
And there was zero reprieve. The thing went with you everywhere, even in the most perilous of situations. Worst of all, it actually proved to be useful. Astarion had no idea where the thing was trained, but it was incredibly smart. Smart enough to serve as a perfect distraction when needed, while being clever and fast enough to never get himself killed. He could even function as a spy, considering how you could make sense of all of his whining and barking. And worst of all, the little beast was amazing at thievery, with nothing more than his mouth. No one suspected the adorable dog to be the one stealing your coin purse right off of your belt. He was completely inconspicuous, perhaps even more so than Astarion. A fact that... was not sitting well.
How on earth was he being outclassed by a fucking dog? One that he had no valid arguments to leave behind at camp.
And to top it all off, you even slept with it. You slept with both animals, usually huddled up in a pile beneath the stars. How you managed to not stink of dog breath and owlbear saliva in the morning, Astarion would never know.
How was he supposed to make you fall for him like this? In the past two weeks since you'd attached yourself completely to the thing, doting on him constantly. He had only managed to sleep with you once. The night of the celebration over the goblin slaughter, and what a lovely night it had been. But that was only because Scratch and the cub had been sufficiently distracted by all of the enamored tiefling children. The next night it was back to the same.
And Astarion was not willing to let the night you had together go as a one night stand. Maybe it wasn't necessary. It had become clear that you cared for him, you cared for all of them. Enough to put yourself in danger for every party member's protection. A strong friendship would probably do him just as good as a romance. But... that didn't feel like enough. He didn't want it to be enough. For reasons that he was not going to start examining now.
No, for now he was just focused on getting past your slobbery bodyguard. But he knew better than to bring it up to you directly. You were far too infatuated with the pup to see his side of things.
Gale had made a singular comment on a slight frustration over having to wait around for Scratch to sniff nearly everything he came into contact with, and that had ended in you giving him a half-hour lecture on the importance of understanding one's surroundings. Shadowheart had mentioned, once, just once, that perhaps it was time to start looking for a more appropriate family for the dog, and that had led to you giving her the cold shoulder for days.
No, if he was going to get more time alone with you Astarion would have to try other means. Which had led him here, swinging back a Potion of Animal Speaking with a grimace. It tasted oddly grassy, like he had just swallowed blended up lawn shavings. But he didn't have time to grouse over the taste, not when you were thoroughly distracted with talking about druid mythology with Halsin, Scratch left conveniently alone to dig holes in the back of camp.
And that was where Astarion was going. Because if he couldn't reason with you, perhaps he could reason with the mutt itself.
Part of him could not quite believe that he had to resort to speaking with a dog to further this relationship, but here he was.
Astarion stopped in front of him, swallowing back a grimace at how the thing was digging dirt directly on his shoes. Instead, he smiled down at it, his voice only slightly strained when he asked, "Can you understand me?"
Scratch stopped his digging, opting to sit and stare up at him, an oddly humanoid voice answering, "Yes."
Huh, so that's how this spell worked. It was a little disconcerting to hear a human voice from a dog's mouth, but he would make do. Astarion cautiously sat next to him, perching on a nearby log as he tried to keep a pleasant smile on his face, "Good. How are you?"
Scratch stared at him, his head cocked, "The dirt tastes good here. I like that."
That was... Astarion didn't know. It was his own fault for trying to make small talk with an animal. He cut straight to the point, "That's great to hear. Now, would you mind doing me a favor tonight?"
Astarion had never had a dog narrow its eyes at him before, but that's exactly what Scratch did, "What is it?"
"Nothing serious," Astarion tried to reassure, "I was just hoping that perhaps you and the cub could sneak off for a night so Tav and I could spend some time together-"
"No," Scratch interrupted circling the ground three times before laying down, his eyes still on Astarion.
"Excuse me?" Astarion shot back, his true annoyance shining straight through his voice, "It's not exactly much to ask for! It's one night-"
"I don't trust you around them," The dog said simply, "I think you're going to hurt them."
Well that was just offensive. Ever since this little brat's arrival Astarion had barely had a chance to drink from you. And the times he did he was perfectly in control. Not including the first time of course.
"I'll have you know that not every vampire is some hellish demon with no self-control," Astarion bit out, only the slightest bit amused at himself for being reduced to defending his own disgusting kind, "And why pray tell, would I hurt one of the only reasons I'm still alive."
Scratch shook his head, one eye closed like this conversation was boring him, "Not that kind of hurt. The inside kind, that makes people cry. I don't want them to cry."
That was-Astarion didn't-how in the hells could a dog see through him that easily?
"I have no intention of hurting them," Astarion lied. Or at least he thought it was a lie. It felt... uncomfortably true when spoken allowed, "I just want to have a little fun, that's all. Don't you think they've earned that?"
"Not with you. You don't like them enough," Scratch sighed, "I like Gale more. Or Wyll. Karlach too. They can have fun with them instead."
That was it. Astarion was going to wring this little shit's neck. But before he could give into his more violent impulses, he could hear your voice, calling out to the current root of all of his problems.
Scratch bounded up, his tail already wagging as he started to trot over. But before he fully did he turned around, giving Astarion a once over, "If you can prove you like them, then I'll consider it."
And just like that he was off, running to your side while leaving a stunned Astarion in his wake. Did... did he just get verbally annihilated by a damn dog? How was he supposed to go on after this? Not to mention he was actually thinking about what the creature said. It sounded like a challenge, one that Astarion was suddenly pissed enough to take up.
If the little shithead wanted sincerity, then he would get it. And that's how Astarion found himself willingly opening up more. Even if it had to be in front of the damn dog. He told you more about Cazador, the horrors and tribulations he had endured through centuries. He told you of his regrets, the things he missed the most about being a mortal. He even told you the truth about that first night that you let him drink from your neck. That... that you were the first. How good it had felt to have what he had been denied for so long. And he was rewarded with his honesty. He got to learn more and more about you in turn. Your family, your home, where you incessant love for nature derived from. He was starting to slowly become a Tav-expert, suddenly hungry for every bit of information that he could procure.
They were long conversations, long enough to last well into the night. And for Astarion to be exhausted enough to just... fall asleep in the first available location. Which just so happened to always be in the pile of creatures you liked to sleep with. Though, Astarion had to admit after experiencing it himself, it was oddly pleasant to be surrounded by the warm, furry little headaches.
As for the two of you, things were slowly progressing in regards to his plan. A plan that he continually kept conveniently forgetting about. You were together now at the least, even if Scratch hardly ever let you have a night alone. But you cuddled and kissed, called each other pet names and the like. And... it was nice. Perhaps even too nice. Because Astarion was starting to... feel things that he'd prefer to not.
He was getting too attached, too close. The idea of sex didn't even seem to matter anymore, let alone the idiocy of trying to convince a dog to help him in that department. He was knowing too much of you, and the fact that he seemed to adore everything he saw only made it worse. And then the two of you managed to kill that demon, getting more and more information about Cazador. You risked so much for him, and were willing to risk so much more. He couldn't take it anymore.
He had told you the next night, everything. His plan, his past, how easy it was to revert back into new tricks. But he didn't want that with you. Maybe he never did. He wanted something real, and by the gods above you wanted the same thing. He had half expected you to dump him completely after that little speech. But... you didn't. Instead you hugged him, comforted him for trying and failing to betray your trust. It was a kindness he didn't deserve, but one that he would gladly accept.
Everything felt easier after that. Yes there were still countless horrors hanging over your heads but... he had you. And with you he was starting to think he could get through anything.
Even Halsin's insistent flirting. He was watching you both now as you helped him nurse a dying sapling to health, his eyes tracking Halsin's every move as he pretended to read. While he trusted you more than anything, fully aware that you would never stray, it didn't stop the paranoia. Just one other aspect of being in a real relationship that he hadn't seen coming. Turns out, it involved being terrified of losing it all. Especially to handsome, bulky elf druids.
But before he could fret over it any longer, he felt a tugging on his pant leg. He glanced down, his brow furrowing when he saw Scratch there, his tail wagging and his tongue lolling out.
"What the hell do you want?" Astarion asked, his words completely unmatching his actions as he scratched him behind the ears. Don't get him wrong, he still at least semi-loathed the creature but... he's also not quite sure he would have gotten to this point without his intervention. So a reluctant appreciation for his existence it was.
Scratch continued to paw at his leg, a low whine in his throat as he cocked his head to the right. Astarion followed the motion, only getting more confused when he realized he was trying to point to another potion.
Astarion sighed as he picked it up, “What? You want me to understand a new dressing down speech?”
Scratch continued to wag his tail, letting out a happy bark as a confirmation. As much as Astarion would prefer to not spend an evening getting lectured by a dog, he was more than a little curious to see what he had to say. 
He swallowed it down, grimacing at the taste as he wiped his mouth, “Okay, out with it. What do you want?”
"I like you now," Scratch said excitedly, prancing back and forth in front of him, "And they like you too. Do you like them?"
In moments like this, Astarion really did wish he had the heart of stone that he pretended to carry. Because the unexpected approval from a random pup was suddenly making him feel almost teary eyed. Or it was the bitter taste of the potion, but either way the innocent words were making his heart ache pleasantly. 
Astarion swallowed, smiling down at him, “I like them very much. More than anyone before. And I’m starting to think you might not be so bad either.”
Scratch sat in front of him, resting his head in his lap as his tail wagged, a goofy smile on his adorable face, “It’s because I’m a good boy. They tell me so all the time. Are we friends now? We are right?”
“Yeah,” Astarion smiled as he ran a hand through his white coat, his eyes drifting over to you. You were watching them, grinning ear to ear with a hand over your heart, nearly moments away from swooning. He looked back down at the dog, his smile only widening, “We’re going to be great friends.”
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bluarlequinno · 1 month
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It's kinda funny to me that Husk mentions that Charlie is trying to fix others because she's avoiding fixing herself but I don't see lots of people talking about it (or about her in general) and even the show itself makes a very clear indication that Charlie's motives and actions for helping people aren't just because of pure altruism, don't get me wrong I do believe she has good intent and genuinely wants to help, but I personally what I interpreted, I feel it comes to the fear of her being unwanted and A LOT AND I MEAN A LOT of characters treat Charlie so shitty, but Charlie always bottles it up and treats them back with kindness, (at least until she can't no more and explodes), there are very few characters to which she responds back with violence being (Valentino, Lute and Adam (rightfully)), but in general she is extremely optimistic to the point it almost seems self damaging and I really wish it was talked more enough because it opens up a whole level of complexity to her character not many people give her, she isn't your typical altruistic good protagonist, she's extremely good to people out of her own fear of rejection, look how she behaved when she realized she damaged more than she helped Angel dust, yes it is normal to feel overwhelmed when you know you've harmed a friend, but Charlie's reactions although played for laughs, go to an extent of over compensation out of fear of being rejected and not receiving the benefit of the doubt to be forgiven, (also because it faces her face to face with her own flaws), just like how she always tries to do the same with others to the point of probably putting herself at harm, I'm not sure how conscious she is of it herself, but it's obvious she over compensates to anything to make sure people won't leave her, because as much as the show says she's got daddy issues, I feel more overall she's got abandonment issues in general, because literally both her mother and father left her at a point in her life and even when Lucifer comes back she's hesitant as to when is his staying going to last (I have problems with how quickly their issue was resolved but that is a discussion for another post).
My main point is that Charlie's issues with herself are so fascinating to me because I love characters who seem like the perfect altruist hero but actually unknowingly to themselves, have more emotionally "selfish" motivations, obviously I'm not saying Charlie has any ill intent, but she's literally an over protected princess of an exploited, unfair and exploitative system who has a very shielded and naive view of morals and goodness and badness.
I know this is fuckin Hazbin hotel, but I srs have so much brainrot.
I know critics of the morals of heaven and hell ain't anything new, but there is genuine good commentary in my opinion, not by any means perfect, but it definitely is doing insistent questions on the nature of a religious morality and using real life politics systems to somehow drive it further and connect it more with reality, of course modernizing it and treating it as a modern, tumblr version of so, but it's really good and the songs are amazing.
The point is, I'm really hoping they will explore more of the character of Charlie and how she transforms to her "demon" form when she is more emotionally unstable that could do a lot of commentary too if used right, but maybe I'm just projecting my own headcanons and ideas for her lol.
Actually I have no previous knowledge of any other media of the creator outside of Hazbin Hotel because I watched it some days ago in Amazon prime so yeah I just really like media and edgy media I'm sorry I liked this show, with it's problems and all I did like it, maybe it was too obvious for most, but I'm really new to the fandom so forgive my rantings
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jackolanternteeth · 8 months
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Fnaf artists PLEASEEEE look at 80s and late 70s sewing patterns you won't regret it I promise you, imagine Elizabeth Afton in these (1982 patterns I found on pintrrest)
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moodysnowflake · 1 year
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Something has been screeching in my head since episode one, seeing Vash's haircut.
Then, it finally hit me.
For those who know Bungou Stray Dogs, if you didn't think about this
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You're a freaking LIAR.
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nightkorio · 10 months
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Inspired by @artofshiroginko's "New outfit + Reaction"
Because really now... IS CLIVE NOT YOUR TYPE NOW CID
I haven't drawn in I dunno how long but FFXVI HAS ME DYING
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The eyes have it
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charlotte-of-wales · 11 months
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the spanish royal family be like: radio silence on major holidays, birthdays maybe a new picture for Christmas if we’re lucky and then BAAM selfies of the family at Leonor’s graduation taken by Letizia as if they didn’t have a professional photographer with then
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kuroichi-93 · 11 months
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These are my favorite at the moment 👀😍
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squash1 · 2 years
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just found out some people don’t like adam parrish. smh. what has the world come to?
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watermelontangmo · 2 years
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Wouldn't it be interesting if Dream agree to let Corinthian eat his eyes but with one condition; "I will give you my eyes, if you can handle this, little nightmare" then he gives him a drop of blood. Which send Corinthian to full body shatter, his leg give out. Dream have to catch him and hold naive little nightmare that cling to him like his life depends on it, crying and sobbing. Corinthian could feel everything , the air shifting, every human thought hit him all at once, the Dreaming and it's citizens. He feels how Dream feel for everything, and how he feels for him. Emotion rum deep with passion, filled with possessive thought, disappointment bitter on his tongue but soothing with desire to change for the better, fixing what broken between them, together.
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per1w1nkl3 · 3 months
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sometimes I think about the fact that pippin is pretty much the kid that has to stay next to the teacher at all times because he might Do Something. like when he asks gandalf what is he doing in gondor gandalf literally says "to keep you out of mischief. and if you dont like being here you can remember that you brought it on yourself."
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moorishflower · 10 months
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Honestly just wanted to extend my deepest gratitude to you and your phenomenal brain—your fics have changed so many things for me. Ways I’ve viewed myself, my inner voice, things that matter to me, the way the universe works. The Sandman realm feels alive and within reach in the fics you write and I don’t quite understand why I’m so profoundly touched by them but by god am I grateful. Your works on Archive of Our Own are my solace and I frequently re-read many of them, having just come from Maybe Sprout Wings, I feel gutted but in a really good way. Hopefully (I’m praying) I will find the time and the patience to write up a comment that expresses just how much gratitude I have for those slices of heaven—irregardless, you are a genius and felt the need to say that directly 🖤🫶🏻🤎 thank you, endlessly
From MF:
Hey there my dear <3 Every time I get comments and submissions and messages like this one it makes me feel like I can do anything for a while. This is a sort of magic, you know? That I can help people realize things about themselves, change how they think, that I can touch them somehow and that carries with them to new paths in their life...When I was young, I thought about being an author a lot. I never thought I'd be able to manage it, because historically I've had a lot of anxiety about my writing, and comparing it to other people. The Sandman really DID unlock me in some ways, because before this I hadn't written in a very long time, and now it feels like it doesn't matter so much what my writing is like as long as I'm having fun and at least one person is enjoying it! So thank you, for being that one person, for seeing something in my writing that I very often do not, and for coming forward and saying it <3 It means so, so incredibly much to hear it!
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feetbelowthesea · 4 months
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absofrutey · 2 years
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it is not enough to watch Ozark I need to be eaten by marty byrde
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sixpigeonz · 7 months
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anytime sapnap gets all snuggly and sleepy laying down I wonder how ppl resist the urge to cuddle him like a massive teddy bear
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