#how does my age opinionate me not standing up for abuse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arcadia345 · 1 year

Text

Astro observations🌺

FYI I’m not a real astrologer, just my observations :) TW🔞

The cancer moon men I know are pretty chill and laid back + funny, but the women are so bitchy and moody😭 with a big sweet tooth

Every twin I know either has Gemini or Pisces placements

You ever meet someone and their neck just stands out for some reason added points if they smell good, most likely they’re a Taurus rising/ mars. Good example is Megan thee stallion her neck is so cute to me hehe

Aries in the chart can show you the things you were introduced to at a very young age, the early memories that you think of and say ‘That was wild lol’

3rd: could’ve started learning way before you started school(like flash cards and things) siblings and cousins, music, having access to electronics early

4th: erratic home life, the woman around you could be go getters

6th: could’ve got a lot of injuries when younger, probably couldn’t have a peaceful day even if you tried, bad experiences with animals

7th: domestic abuse, might have seen people having affairs, lots of disagreements between couples

12th:paranormal events, you could’ve had a lot of deja vu moments without even knowing, tend to have strong spiritual gifts,people having ill intentions towards you

Aquarius moon or degree/ moon in the 11th tend to have a “second mom” a person that treats them like their one of their own children, sometimes even better than their own mother does. 🌚

The people with mars in the first house I know have so many battle scars on their body

Moon/cancer in 3rd love changing their voices, and they have a bad habit of not telling the whole truth / white lies

Water sign on the descendent- people are always wondering what you’re up to, no matter how much you show them they’ll still wanna know what you’re hiding

Your first house correlates to how you came into this world, I have Chiron (ruled by Virgo) in my 12 conjunct my ascendant, uhm she said she almost d*ed having me😀 and I was a C-section baby. And the hospital did her so dirty(you know much they hate black women) they didn’t even stitch her back up correctly or drain her fluids and to this day she still has problems. The also gave her extra dosages of drugs just cause she’s a plus size woman- honestly I could go on and on but it really correlates with my cap rising and Neptune/Uranus in 1st

Mercury ☌ Sun, these people voices are just💋💋 they sound so sensual and unique ugh hard to explain it but 🥴 ex. Jungkook , Tupac

Gemini/ Libra in 2nd love collecting things like figurines makeup clothes candles plushies, could easily be a borderline hoarder tho

Ives noticed that sun in 10th have a strained relationship with their father, but their later years in life their relationship gets better, or not could really go either way, also could have money issues in their early years but ends up climbing the corporate ladder. It may take you a while to tho but just know it’ll be worth it in the end :) also they always stand out at their work place in some way, the coworker that you’re glad to see clock in at rush hour cause you know they gonna handle shit

Venus- mercury positive aspects love giving out nicknames to their favorite people 🥺if they’re always calling you cute names just know they really care about you lol

Sag moons and degrees have no chill😀 like calm down bae sag anything tbh🚬

9th house ruler in the 11th could go to the same college with their old friends or could become very popular in the area they’re in, I think they’d make good bloggers

Air signs or degrees in 5th are trend setters.

Aquarius you inspire people, they could take things and make it into their own like art

With gemini here people will “copy & paste” ur looks. But no matter what it just looks like a knockoff version of what you did lmao it just never look as good as yours

Libra here people are very opinionated on how you express yourself either in a good way or bad, neither less you guys get a lot of compliments on your style

Every time I see a Capricorn rising with Neptune in the 1st it’s like their skin is see through and fragile😯makes sense tho since caps rule the skin and Neptune fogs things up. A good example is Ariana Grande her skin looks so delicate

Pluto/Scorpio in the 11th/11th house ruler in 8th, your friends could hate each other🤺 also they could have a rough life/childhood, trauma bonding or just experiencing traumatic events together is common here

Chiron in Aries (honestly any Aries placements it just depends on where it is), most people didn’t pay attention to them in their childhood in some way so they learned to be independent because of their lack of support cardinal things fr

That’s all for today! Give me a follow if you enjoyed💕

2K notes · View notes

ratboydefenselawyer · 2 years

Text

This is my first and probably last post I will ever make. I’m here to consume the content, not necessarily create it.

I see all of you fighting the good fight for Billy and his story. And I wanted to add my thoughts into the ring.

As someone who works with children and adults from abusive backgrounds EVERY SINGLE DAY. I can tell you that Billy checks every single box for being in his survival state 24/7.

I have had extensive trainings about trauma, how to recognize it and the effects it can have on a person and how they act. Personally I have endured a lot of trauma myself and had to unlearn a lot of unhealthy behaviors and ways of thinking because of it.

With that being said: someone who is in a state of survival constantly is not capable of thinking rationally, the only goal is to…survive.

Billy Hargrove was an abused child. A CHILD. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Does this forgive his actions? No. But it explains them. Gives us a deeper insight into the “why?”

Neil hit his son, he insulted him, called him a slur and then reminded him that Max, his younger stepsister’s well-being is in his hands. That’s a lot for a 17 year old to go through. Then he goes to the Byers residence where he’s insulted and lied to. His sister (who’s well-being is in his hands) is alone with 5 boys, one of them is his age? THEN to top it all off, Steve punches him? All that built up rage from what just happened with Neil comes spilling out. Oh and to make matters worse, he gets sedated and Max MIRRORS Neil’s abuse by making him repeat himself. Keep this in mind, while all this is going on Billy has absolutely no idea what is going on. He still doesn’t know what Max is doing with all of these boys in this house.

Moving forward- Billy gets possessed by the mind flayer, he still has no idea what is going on and loses control of his own body. He had to watch as his hands take the lives of many people to feed this creature from his worst nightmares. Then this group of children lock him in a sauna, he is FINALLY able to beg for help and sobs. Even then NOBODY tells him what’s going on, no one really makes an effort to help him. It’s only in the final episode of season 3 that El breaks through to him, she see’s his past, his mom leaving, the abuse. Even standing up to the mind flayer Billy has no idea what he’s up against, he’s still in the dark. All he knows is that it’s him or this child that showed him how to come back to himself. It’s him or Max, and as we already know Max’s well-being is in his hands. Nothing is more terrifying than Neil’s wrath. And in his dying breath he apologizes.

For my fellow Billy Stans- Please never let anyone bully you about what characters you can and can’t like. Your ability to see deeper into the characters and push past the hate is needed in this world. Not just in fiction, but in the real world. If you relate to Billy as I do, from past trauma, I am so sorry. I am so very sorry that you have to fight, explain and rationalize your love for him every time. For whatever reason you stand behind Billy Hargrove, it is valid. And unlike Billy’s story, I hope that yours doesn’t end in tragedy. My inbox is always open for those who need to talk.

Now, for the Antis- I want to say, good for you. You managed to take a broken and deeply complex character and reduce him to a heartless villain in your minds. Think what you want about him, it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is how you act to the people who do relate to Billy. The name calling, the hate, the wild assumptions about real people!! It’s so insane to me. I hope that turning into the bully to make a point was worth it. How other people relate to a character doesn’t affect you in any way at all. Somehow many of you have managed to put people down and make them afraid to express their love for a character. It’s not something to be proud of.

I am not willing to argue with anyone on this, this is just my views and my opinion. Dacre Montgomery stated that he worked hard to humanize Billy Hargrove. Seeing his character be dragged through the mud and continuously be turned into the irredeemable monster by the Duffer Brothers and the fans is just really sad.

Billy Hargrove means a lot to me. For a lot of different reasons. He deserved so much more than he was given. He deserved a chance to redeem himself and to tell his side of the story. He deserved a chance to apologize for everything he did in his survival state. He deserved the chance to finally be happy and be surrounded by people who actually cared for him, who wanted to help him.

Just keep going everyone. ❤️

#billy hargrove #billy #harringrove #billy hargrove deserved better #billy hargrove stan #billy hargrove gifs #billy hargrove is alive

3K notes · View notes

my-head-is-an-animal · 8 months

Text

The Climb

Summary: You're a scientist, an engineer to be exact. Called to a meeting you had no real right to be at, Optimus Prime takes an exclusive interest in you, but you can't help but ask yourself at every turn, Why?

Rating: 18+ 🌹🩸🍆

Story Masterlist

Chapter 1

I’d never seen an Autobot up close before, never with my own eyes. Sure, I’d seen parts of dead ones, watched plenty of video footage, but I’d never actually stood in the same room as one before, let alone, Optimus Prime himself.

He was so big, so powerful, such a force to be reckoned with, no wonder he was the leader of the Autobots, he was incredibly commanding on sight alone.

I had been called upon along with a variety of other scientists to try to solve a problem, one that would inevitably be solved by some physicist, they always got the glory. I studied Space Engineering, these days it gave a much more secure career path, but it didn’t come with a lot of recognition.

A meeting between Optimus Prime and the President’s spokesman was reaching boiling point, I couldn’t remember the man’s name, but judging from his attitude towards anything alien, he might not have lasted very long.

‘Your planet will be destroyed-‘ Optimus implored.

‘And who’s fault would that be?’ The man snapped back. ‘If you shared some of your technology, we stand a chance against this thing.’

‘Your capacity for war amongst yourselves does not fill me with confidence that you would not abuse any technology we give you.’

He had a point there.

‘That’s not your choice to make.’ The man took a breath and I turned to my friend Theo.

‘Of course it’s his choice to make,’ I said. ‘It’s his technology to share.’

We chuckled quietly, suddenly noticing the quiet that had blanketed the entire hanger. I looked up to see both the president’s man and Optimus Prime staring down at me, one with annoyance, the other with a curiosity in his eyes.

‘And anyway,’ the man continued, I should’ve remembered the echo in the building and not said anything at all. ‘If a ship is about to plunge itself into our planet, I think we’d all appreciate a few weapons to defend ourselves with.’

Optimus hadn’t stopped looking at me the entire time the man spoke, not until he went to reply. The argument went on for ages and I decided to try and get back to work while it did, but all I could see in my minds eye was Optimus Prime’s blue eyes staring down at me. I felt so small.

Eventually, the scientists were called upon to speak, I wasn’t the spokesperson for my department so was grateful that I wouldn’t have to put myself in the spotlight again, but I didn’t necessarily agree with everything we were presenting.

‘You disagree.’ Optimus’s low voice echoed throughout the hanger.

All the speakers had been sent up to the balcony so that they were eye level with the Autobot, I stayed down below with Theo who was also grateful that he didn’t have to speak. Both of us believed that organics would remain undetectable by the alien ship heading towards Earth, so it stood to reason that a human could go in and sabotage the ship to prevent it from harvesting our core.

Optimus’s attention was never on the spokesperson for our department, in fact the second she stepped forward to speak, he looked down at us. I turned away unable to maintain eye contact any longer and never realised that he kept his gaze on me especially.

When I didn’t answer his question, Optimus descended onto one knee, and I felt my heart racing.

‘What is your name?’ He asked, his deep voice somehow quieter, as if he knew how intimidating he was.

Theo nudged me to stand, and I did, feeling my mouth go dry. I awkwardly shoved my glasses up my nose and stuttered. ‘Uh, I, Harding. Dr Jane Harding.’ I finally managed to get out.

‘Dr Jane Harding.’ Optimus repeated and it was strange to hear him say it. ‘I would like to hear your opinion on the matter.’

‘Um, excuse me.’ The president’s man interrupted. ‘She is not part of this presentation; her opinion is being put to you by her spokesperson.’

Optimus quickly turned to the man and snapped. ‘You have had your chance to speak, you will allow others their time as well.’ He turned his attention back to me. ‘It is clear that you do not agree that my Autobots could penetrate the ship’s exterior and destroy its controls, so what do you think is best, Dr Jane Harding?’

I cleared my throat, my eyes flickering towards the angry looking man still glaring down at me.

‘I…’ I cleared my throat again, this wasn’t the time for cowardice, the fate of the world was at stake and if my opinion was what saved us, then I shouldn’t have been intimidated by one alien. ‘The ship looks to be of a similar origin to Cybertron,’ I started, trying hard to be brave. ‘It stands to reason that it will detect you the second you make your way towards it, but there’s a good chance it will not detect organics in quite the same way. We could send a man inside to sabotage the controls.’

‘A human?’ Optimus thought for a moment, that was when Lennox stepped forward.

‘Are you saying we could send a team inside that ship, dismantle its control system and get out without being detected?’ He asked, curiously more than thinking the idea was ridiculous.

I pushed my glasses up my nose again, the sweat causing them to slide. ‘Well, it wouldn’t be quite as simple as that.’ Lennox almost laughed, knowing it was too good to be true. ‘Like I said, the Autobots would be detected long before they even reached the ship’s hull, and we don’t currently have anything powerful enough to blast a hole in the side of it.’ I swallowed, nervously. ‘Anything electronic would be detected, someone’s going to have to climb up and find a way inside.’

Lennox stepped forward. ‘Climb? You know that’s at least a thirty thousand foot ascent maybe more?’

I swallowed again. ‘Yes. But there are ways it can be done.’

‘We don’t have anyone capable of that.’

‘Then you’ll have to train someone.’ I took a breath, feeling the pressure starting to alleviate. ‘Look, we have six months before that ship is touching down on Earth, we have to use that time wisely. So you can build all the weapons you want, you can beg the Autobots for whatever technology you think will help, but that ship isn’t here because of them, it’s here because our planet is a hot bed for radiation and that’s what it feeds on. If the Autobots weren’t here, you wouldn’t think my plan was so ridiculous, we wouldn’t have many other options. At least this way, it limits the number of lives lost.’

The room was quiet, I wasn’t sure why, but both Lennox and Optimus were considering my plan.

‘Do you believe one human could do this?’ Optimus finally asked me.

I looked up at his blue eyes, noting the complexity of his face and no longer feeling as intimidated as I once did. ‘Yes, I do. There’s no limit to what a human being can endure. It’s mind over matter.’

Something in the Autobot’s expression changed, but I couldn’t tell what it was. Lennox and the president’s man, who I now knew as Smith, began arguing about the riskiness of the plan as well as the impossibility, but Lennox was able to convince him to keep it in reserve, a plan B. I caught the look Lennox gave me which indicated he had no intention of keeping it in reserve, as far as he was concerned, it was Plan A.

The meeting concluded and Lennox approached me as I gathered my folders up, taking me to one side.

‘You really think we can send a team into that ship undetected?’ He asked, still feeling shaky about the idea.

‘I do, but the ship has advanced capabilities to adapt to its surroundings, it would almost certainly adapt to detect organic life if there was enough of it penetrating its shields. So, a team? No. But one person would stand a much greater chance.’

Lennox let a tense breath go. ‘You realise what you're asking?’

‘I do.’ I felt the guilt in my chest. ‘But if it saves the world, isn’t it worth it?’

Lennox just chuckled, nodding. ‘If you were a soldier, I’d nominate you to make the climb. You got some guts.’

‘Thanks… I think.’ I frowned, pushing my glasses up again.

‘You should talk to Optimus before you leave, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.’

‘Oh, I couldn’t, I doubt he’d want anything to do with me.’ I shook my head, feeling the nervousness wash over me once again.

‘Dr Harding, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Optimus Prime, it’s that not every human being captures his attention like that.’ Lennox smiled. ‘I don’t know what it is about you, but if he can see something in you worth listening to, then I’m behind him all the way. If you need anything, call and I’ll see it done.’

Lennox nodded once and left me standing in the corner of the hanger, grasping my notes to my chest. I took a deep breath and tried to psyche myself up to say thank you to the great Autobot leader. What I, once again, didn’t notice, was that he was watching me from the same spot he’d stood for the entire meeting, it was like he knew where I was at any given moment.

I took another breath and walked over to him.

‘Um,’ good start. ‘I… wait.’

I suddenly realised that I should’ve been up in the balcony to make it easier for him to see me. I tried to climb the stairs quickly, but there was a lot of them and by the time I got to the top where people were still working away on computers, I probably could’ve said thank you and left.

‘Hi.’ I panted, not exactly sure of why that was my opening line.

‘Hello.’ Optimus chuckled a little.

I took another deep breath and pushed my glasses up. ‘I… I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the chance to speak. I know you’ve got a lot to deal with, so I appreciated the opportunity. And good luck for the mission.’ I nodded, having said what I wanted to say and went to leave.

‘I look forward to working along side you, Dr Jane Harding.’ He said as I was about to make my way back down the stairs. I looked at his hugely complex face and frowned. ‘I have requested that you be the one to lead the search for the human who could make such a climb. I will accept no other liaison.’

My heart was pounding so hard I thought I might have had a panic attack. ‘Me? But, I… I’m just an engineer, I’m not what you need.’

‘On the contrary, I have witnessed your actions in this room today, your compassion towards my kind, your bravery to stand up for what you believe. and your unwavering faith in your race. I have deemed you the only one capable of carrying out this task. I would be honoured to work along side you, Dr Jane Harding.’

I wasn’t sure if time, my heart or the world had stopped, but something was slowing down before going into overdrive.

‘You want me?’ I asked, suddenly hating that that was the first thing that came to mind.

‘I do.’ Optimus nodded.

I didn’t know what else to say, all I could do was nod and move out of the way of a soldier trying to get passed me on the balcony.

I descended the steps and felt those blue eyes on me the entire way out of the hanger. I turned back to see Optimus still watching me, he raised a hand in farewell and once again the air of intimidation was lifted. I smiled and headed toward the minibus taking the scientists back to our accommodation.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!

#optimus x reader #optimus prime x reader #optimus x ofc #optimus prime x ofc #transformers

151 notes · View notes

sankatsuka · 4 months

Text

Shinsuke Takasugi Character Discussion PART 1 - Putting a Name to the Irrationality, that is Love

I recently finished watching Gintama and I really, really needed to talk about my current opinions on Takasugi's character. I'm absolutely blown away by the writing that I really, really need to put into words my emotions about it.

Warnings:

I think there are many ways to interpret Takasugi's dialogue given how ambiguous his choice of words tend to be. This is just my own personal interpretation that hits me best.

THIS INTERPRETATION HEAVILY IMPLIES TAKAGIN. Gintoki has always obviously been the most strongly connected to Takasugi's character. Platonic or romantic, I don't think there will be someone they can come to love more than each other. I know, implying a romance in a Shounen Jump series that's normally queerphobic? But it just makes sense to me (//shot).

Takasugi's attachment is pretty much obvious and evident from the very start, with how deranged he had become from the tragedy of the war and was acting out so as to not let go of Shoyo to live an ordinary life. It's interesting to note how Katsura was swayed by Gintoki to change his ways, but Takasugi wasn't. His childhood does somewhat explain why: until he met Shoyo, he seemingly had not a single thing to live for. As compared to Katsura who was loved by his grandmother, Takasugi was born with nothing - his parents were abusive and willing to kick him out at such a young age. It's no surprise he became unapologetically rebellious, while Katsura found his way as the Runaway Kotaro thanks to his grandmother. But because the meaning of life was so intertwined with bushido, that his parents would have loved him if he was a Samurai, a path was something Takasugi couldn't live without.

So meeting Shoyo, who saw him as a Samurai for the lost punk he was, was like being told there already is meaning - a bushido - in his present impulses. Their repeated encounters and exchanges cemented Takasugi's place at Shoka Sonjuku, and it makes sense for Takasugi to become attached to Shoyo who gave him that home. But as we hear more and more from Takasugi's perspective and his realizations with Kiheitai, it made me feel there was a distinction between his feelings for Shoyo and Gintoki - it wasn't Shoyo he was obsessed with, it was Gintoki. Gintoki represents the vague path he found as a Samurai.

And Shouyou's values simply allowed for that half-hearted, meaningless path.

When you're in the deepest depths of despair, as shown in many instances in Gintama, the love that pushes you forward is from the people who want the best for you. In Katsura's first taste of despair from losing his family, it was his grandmother's love for him that kept him going despite being ostracized for his status. But there was no one like that in Takasugi's life for him to keep going, which is why Katsura's criticism on how Takasugi was 'ungrateful for his chance at a good education' stands out. Takasugi only knew how to use his body to fight and gain power - likely from his hostile, unforgiving home environment where one would have to dissociate to cope - that it was the only thing he took seriously in life. But there was no name for that obsession. And for that Takasugi who couldn't think about anything else other than becoming powerful, Gintoki was the first and only one to respond to that violent spirit.

As much as any other child, Takasugi wanted to be loved, but because he grew up in a hostile environment, he knew nothing about expressing emotions normally. And so that desire translated into physically acting out as reason would only further harm you in a toxic environment. In Takasugi's depths of despair where the only thing he knew was to grow stronger and stronger, Gintoki was there, refusing to lose to him, even telling him to come back after his first victory when all other kids just ridiculed him. For the first time, Takasugi wasn't alone. And this stays true even in the present: Gintoki knows he has to stay strong for Takasugi to keep taking his anger on until he stops.

Naturally, when you find someone important to you, you want to be closer to them emotionally, you want to mean something to them. But the problem is that Takasugi's only way of expressing emotions is through violence, and Gintoki is probably the least open person when it comes to his own emotions. Because of this, although their scores were already matching up, Takasugi still felt as if he was chasing after him. So, more than anyone, Takasugi cared about the one thing Gintoki clearly held close to his heart: Shoyo. This is evident in how even on the brink of death, Takasugi made it a point to make Gintoki to promise to save Shoyo no matter what, even if it meant running over his corpse.

And when Takasugi takes out his anguish on Gintoki over Gintoki's 'choice' to pick Takasugi over Shoyo despite everything, not a single word is mentioned about Shoyo's emotions - all of his venting is just questioning why over and over again, focusing more on how the choice didn't make any sense.

The answer should have always been clear, that it was because Shoyo wanted to protect his disciples and Gintoki simply upheld this. Even Oboro tells it straight to their faces that their teacher granted them their lives. Katsura never seemed to ever question Gintoki's choice himself probably because it was too obvious. But Takasugi couldn't see it for some reason, and it bothers him so much from just not understanding why. This further goes to show how important understanding every fibre of Gintoki's being is to Takasugi.

And Gintoki is more aware than Takasugi of the very reason why Takasugi can't see it - because, in Gintoki's shoes, Takasugi would have done the same, but is unable to discern the reason why he would do such an irrational thing (hint: because he doesn't understand love, duh). This means a lack of self-discipline that doesn't follow Shoka Sonjuku's teachings and he is apparently no longer living by Shoyo's values. It's always been important for Takasugi to be a Samurai in some right. So as punishment for abandoning Shoka Sonjuku's teachings, he would have to kill the very person his body wanted to protect more than his teacher who was the rational choice. And Gintoki knows, because it's probably easy to tell when someone is obsessed with you.

Even in the very first episode Takasugi appears in the entire anime, his criticism of Gintoki's 'carefree' lifestyle reflects the lack of self-discipline he believes he has too. If he chose to kill Shoyo, he wouldn't have anything honourable to fight for anymore, and it would leave an even more bitter taste to live a carefree life on top of all the corpses he piled up after he abandoned their original goal of saving Shoyo. Takasugi hates that his choice would mean trampling over the dead bodies of his comrades. And seeing Gintoki live a peaceful life despite that 'selfishness' further fuels Takasugi's bloodlust to motivate his own self-punishment, despite also wanting him alive.

These beliefs Takasugi projected onto Gintoki actually come to fruition when Bansai is killed. Now that Takasugi is no longer blinded by his self-hatred, he can clearly see the corpses of the comrades who believed in him that he's been stepping on to get this far on his half-heartedness. Takasugi is the type who strongly wants what he wants (Gintoki, translated in wanting to win against him), but is also an emotional person who strongly cares about people - so walking down his selfish path is difficult with no scapegoat (Shoyo) to justify the horrible consequences to other people or another emotion to blind him from realizing it (self-hatred). As Bansai says, Takasugi is a weak man who anguishes about the corpses that pile up underneath him. Of course it haunted him thinking his body would selfishly save Gintoki instead of Shoyo in that moment and abandon the wishes of all the corpses of his comrades (supporting Takasugi to save Shoyo). Not only was he dishonouring Shoyo's values, he was also abandoning the people who believed in him.

This explains why Takasugi couldn't move on from the past like Gintoki and Katsura did. Katsura can be swayed by Gintoki because he knows nothing will bring back the dead and the best thing to do is to move on for their sake. Takasugi can't be swayed even knowing this, because of the self-hatred that whispers in his ears that he would never be doing enough to honour the souls of his fallen comrades and Shoyo. And it is a self-hatred born from witnessing Gintoki's 'choice', a constant reminder that he would choose Gintoki's life over Shoyo. When that wasn't what his fallen comrades or maybe even Shoyo (because they've come all this way for his life) would have wanted.

And in their next encounter on Rakuyo, Gintoki seems to even straight up joke about Takasugi's obsession with him. Cryptically, of course:

Gintoki did nothing to save Takasugi's life in Rakuyo, it was all Kiheitai. So in other words, it may not even be about their current situation, Gintoki is insulting Takasugi as a whole - Takasugi needs to rely on Gintoki's existence to have a reason to live, as Kiheitai sees him. This is because Gintoki was the light in his despair, like he was to Kiheitai (Spoiler: Kiheitai helps him see himself of course). And that is what torments him as he has to come to gripes with the lives he's willing to put aside for Gintoki.

Continued in Part 2 because Tumblr has an image limit. 😭

#gintama #takasugi shinsuke #shinsuke takasugi #sakata gintoki #gintoki sakata #takagin #gintaka #character discussion

24 notes · View notes

fluffypotatey · 2 years

Note

God, watched "Sins of the Father" last night and I. Just. Love. How the writers were like, "Ah, yes, let's finish out this episode with the most violent upheaval of Arthur's relationship with Uther. There is no need to mention this again."

Like, yeah, I get it, Merlin lied and stopped Arthur from killing King Cunt, but STILL. It happened. Arthur and Uther have had disagreements before, but those were small potatoes. Arthur challenged his father, the King, to a fight to the death. He was actively trying to kill his father. And that....had no effect on him? Or Uther?

Arthur doesn't always agree with Uther, and he does disobey him when he has to, but I don't think he ever would imagine himself capable of hurting his father, let alone killing him.

And Uther, being the manipulative, abusive piece of shit he is, was probably 100% certain Arthur would never turn on him, the same way any abusive parent is confident in their power over their victim.

But it happened.

And that's just........not important?

bestie.....are you sure you want the open that can of worms with me

------

NO BECAUSE LISTEN I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT THIS

imma holler @nextstopparis because they have bombass posts and meta about exactly this

anyway

yes bestie so true, we have seen in s1 and s2 that arthur is capable of having a little rebellious streak but not enough to truly slight his father because (despite his shitty and abusive uther is) arthur still loves him. arthur has craved uther's approval since day one. all he gets from uther is stunted shoulder pats and "you're my son" kind of affection. which, you know, explains SO MUCH about why arthur is emotionally constipated, compensates his emotions into hyper-masculinity, and a grade A jock.

we know arthur seeks uther's approval and just wants uther to be proud of him. motherfucker (uther) literally in episode 2 of s1 "stops by Arthur on his way to the stands and speaks to him in a low voice" about he "trust [Arthur] will make [him] proud" like bitch???? way to stress out your child.

tips on how to emotionally abuse/keep your child wanting you love

always makes sure you pressure them into making you proud

place conditions on your love (trust = love = pride for son = no longer disappointed = no longer sees arthur as the cause of ygraine's death oop did i type that)

move them away and speak in a low threatening voice because self image matters and your child would never risk that

undermine your child's worth to exterior factors, aka things your child never had a say in (being a captain/high ranking knight at 15, being the son of your dead wife, telling them to grow up when they literally are acting their age)

enforcing patriarcal ideals such as only encouraging stoicism for arthur because feelings are for weaklings and dismissing morgana's opinions for 'outbursts'

howdy folks! welcome to the uther sucks club and why the hell did bbc just ignore arthur's very understandable anger towards uther in s2 ep8

we will not touch arthur's self loathing blame for his mother's death because i will derail from this post

what happened in s2 ep8???? i'm so glad you asked

it is revealed that uther pendragon's reason for committing genocide for over 20 years boils down to a highly dangerous spell that he forced the high priestess nimueh to cast on his wife (who wasn't aware of the spell in the first place) so she could become pregnant and grant him an heir.

uther, the caricature of the british empire himself, caused the death of his queen then turned around and blamed a whole community of innocent people because "magic is evil and shouldn't be trusted" and "when you know one sorcerer, you know them all"

arthur, daddy issues galore, is understandably pissed and enraged. why, you ask? because for years he believed it was his birth that led to his mother's death

ARTHUR I'm so sorry. YGRAINE You have nothing to be sorry for. ARTHUR It was my birth that caused you to die.

ok so we are actually gonna discuss this

FOR 20 YEARS THIS MAN BELIEVED HIS FATHER'S GRIEF WAS HIS FAULT

AND YOU KNOW WHAT

UTHER NEVER CORRECTED HIM! UTHER NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO CONTRADICT ARTHUR'S INTERNAL STRUGGLE!

WHY YOU ASK????

BECAUSE THEN ARTHUR WOULD STAY LOYAL TO HIM, BECAUSE THEN ARTHUR WOULD DO EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO PROVE THAT HE COULD 'right this old wrong' EVEN THO IT WAS NEVER HIS FAULT!

ahem

and then arthur learns the truth. arthur learns that ygraine's death was never his fault. ygraine's death was all because uther pendragon "was so desperate for an heir". that was all uther cared about.

ARTHUR This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them.

ARTHUR How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?

ARTHUR You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

do you think....after arthur learned the truth, he remembered all of morgana's old arguments that went ignored by uther? he could hear her voice, filled with self-righteousness and selfless anger about how uther always placed the blame on others, projected fear and hatred to those who were innocent. do you wonder if arthur thought of morgana as he spewed those words to uther?

and then he is told that morgause lied to him. that the ygraine he saw was actually an illusion meant to divide camelot. arthur is told that the ygraine he saw who told him that holding him was "the most precious" moments of her life was nothing more than a lie.

so, what does mean for arthur? does that mean that it truly was his fault that ygraine died? does he go back to blaming himself?

is there still that doubt of his father's ruling that lays restless inside of him? does he watch his father more closely and how he reacts to magic crimes compared to non-magical? does he begin to confide in morgana more because she, too, understand this kind of anger he feels nestled inside of him?

but we don't get that

what we get after this is a week or maybe more of a time skip where gwen is kidnapped and the show tries to further the arwencelot love triangle (and i mean, i'm not against the love triangle, it's just...timing my dude)

it just goes ignored by the show like it wasn't a big deal that arthur was ready to commit regicide (unlike morgana), like it wasn't a big deal that merlin lied to arthur like that and didn't feel conflicted, like it wasn't a big deal that uther's Purge began because of misplaced anger.

no, instead, arthur is back as his snarky and uptight self who never again thinks back to what happened when some big plot is heading his way. and so the show never dives back into that. mentions of arthur's mother don't come back until s4 but that's with agravaine and i do not have the time for that man.

this episode really seemed like it was supposed to lead to a shift in arthur's character, and yet it didn't. it was just...never touched on again and i will never forgive them for that

#long post #excuse me while i go off #i brought receipts (transcipts)#bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #uther pendragon #anti uther #we do not stan that man in this household #not to mention that this is the ep where arthur doubts his father's views on magic bc morgause is granting him this chance to see his mom #he has already doubted his father's views on class (lancelot) & duty (going to help merlin even if his presence could cause war w/ Essetir)#and then he learns that his father LIED #uther lied about magic users for 20 fucking years and didn't care #all he cared about was that the spell didn't work the way he wanted and decided that a whole community of ppl deserved to be wiped out #arthur is devasted bc you know what that means??????#that means that when arthur raided that druid camp all those years ago as a young captain of the knights its purpose was never moral #arthur aided his father and his father LIED ABOUT IT #the sins of the father #s2 ep8 #2.08 #i'm not sorry but also i am sorry that the post is a little long #merlin meta

245 notes · View notes

itariilles · 2 years

Text

The Elves From Episodes 1 & 2 Of The Rings of Power

On the 30th I was lucky enough to attend the world premiere of The Rings of Power. This means that I've had some time to sit down and process some of my thoughts regarding how certain thematic elements were addressed in the show, from the adaptation of textual themes, to the altering of themes to better fit the narrative the show is attempting to portray.

Specifically, how the elven characters were portrayed. The breakdown of my thoughts have been included below the text break with commentary and context from various texts. I've limited myself to the published Silmarillion, LOTR and The Hobbit, and Unfinished Tales as I don't have the capacity at the moment to delve into additional contexts from Histories of Middle-earth.

Disclaimer: this is my opinion, and my opinion only. While I am trying my best to be fair in my critique, one has to remember that this is a show produced and streamed on Amazon with a 1 billion dollar budget — the highest of any TV production in history. I am also basing my critique on the first two episodes only, meaning that there is much more to come, but I still believe that there are themes worth talking about that were established in the first two episodes that will likely reoccur over the duration of Season 1 if not the whole show.

@silmarillionwritersguild makes an excellent statement on the ethics behind consuming Rings of Power, and the labour and human rights abuses by Amazon.

Galadriel's Motivations

"Finrod was with Turgon, his friend; but Galadriel, the only woman of the Noldor to stand that day tall and valiant among the contending princes, was eager to be gone. No oaths she swore, but the words of Fëanor concerning Middle-earth had kindled in her heart, for she yearned to see the wide unguarded lands and to rule there a realm at her own will." — Of The Flight of The Noldor, The Silmarillion

The prologue briefly depicts a two minute summary of the Darkening of Valinor, Flight of the Noldor, and War of Wrath. We are shown Galadriel presiding over Finrod's corpse which bears scratch marks and a brand of the eye of Sauron which can be assumed to be after his infamous duel with Sauron during their duel in Tol-in-Gaurhoth.

While it is extremely likely that Galadriel will bear personal animosity towards Sauron for the murder of her brother, it does feel odd to me that the choice was made to establish the avenging of her brother as her primary motive in remaining in Middle-earth.

Christopher Tolkien's note in Unfinished Tales on the passage above is interesting in that:

"Most notable however in the passage just cited is the explicit statement that Galadriel refused the pardon of the Valar at the end of the First Age." — History of Galadriel and Celeborn, Unfinished Tales

This seems to fall in line with her established motivations in text with her desire to rule over a realm herself, as up until this point she has only aligned herself with rulers of other realms (Thingol and Melian in Doriath, Círdan in the Falas, etc.)

In the context of Rings of Power, Galadriel is portrayed as being "rewarded" a return to Aman by Gil-Galad as an honour which she too refuses for the sake of continuing her altered show motivation of avenging Finrod and hunting Sauron.

"She did indeed wish to depart from Valinor and to go into the wide world of Middle-earth for the exercise of her talents... and she felt confined in the tutelage of Aman. This desire of Galadriel's was, it seems, known to Manwë, and he had not forbidden her; but nor had she been given formal leave to depart... Galadriel, despairing now of Valinor and horrified by the violence and cruelty of Fëanor, set sail into darkness without waiting for Manwë's leave, which would undoubtedly been withheld in that hour, however legitimate her desire in itself." — History of Galadriel and Celeborn, Unfinished Tales

The issue with this change of primary motivation is that it makes no sense with regards to her imperialist incentive in crossing over to Middle-earth which is something that is core to her character.

"Galadriel laughed with a sudden clear laugh. 'Wise the Lady Galadriel may be,' she said, 'yet here she has met her match in courtesy. Gently are you revenged for my testing of your heart at our first meeting. You begin to see with a keen eye. I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired to ask what you offer[.']... She stood before Frodo seeming now tall beyond measurement, and beautiful beyond enduring, terrible and worshipful. Then she let her hand fall, and the light faded, and suddenly she laughed again, and lo! she was shrunken: a slender elf-woman clad in simple white, whose gentle voice was soft and sad. 'I pass the test,' she said. 'I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.'" — The Mirror of Galadriel, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

The completion of her character arc is when she rejects the one ring when it is offered to her, and with it she relinquishes her desire to rule. It is only then she willingly makes the journey back to Aman as she rejects her ambition and rule, and when that happens Lothlórien begins to fade, and with it the last of Noldorin imperialism in Middle-earth.

I must reiterate that while I take no issue with the idea that pursuing Sauron as a means of avenging Finrod's death is a motivator for Galadriel, it should not be her primary motive as has been portrayed so far. It is unclear whether or not at this early stage in the show if she has come into contact with the elves of Lórien, but this is something to keep in mind when she interacts with Amdir and Amroth later on if they do appear in this adaptation.

It is also absolutely crucial to acknowledge the complexities and nuances of Galadriel's imperialist narrative, and the settler colonialism of it all. I could go on for literally an entire essay's worth of points, but I'm saving that for a paper later on.

"In the Second Age their king, Oropher... had withdrawn northward... he resented the intrusions of Celeborn and Galadriel into Lórien." — Appendix B: The Sindarin Princes of the Silvan Elves, History of Galadriel and Celeborn, Unfinished Tales

While the text does seem to portray her imperialist ambitions either positively or neutrally, there are also characters who are shown to be critical of Noldorin imperialism.

"'You are of the house of Eöl, Maeglin, my son.' he said, 'and not of the Golodhrim. All this land is the land of the Teleri, and I will not deal nor have my son deal with the slayers of my kin, the invaders and usurpers of our homes.[']"

"'I acknowledge not your law,' [Eöl] said. 'No right have you or any of your kin in this land to seize realms or to set bounds, either here or there. This is the land of the Teleri, to which you bring war and all unquiet, dealing ever proudly and unjustly... Your father commands you. Leave the house of his enemies and the slayers of his kin, or be accursed!'"

— Of Maeglin, The Silmarillion

@skyeventide has an excellent thread on Twitter analysing Tolkien's specific choice of Eöl as the narrator for his critical commentary on the Noldorin settlement of Beleriand and in-text bias favouring narratives of settler colonialism.

Additional links and sources:

Galadriel and Ayesha by William H. Stoddard

Fantasy Racism Against the Elves

The first time we are introduced to the fantasy racism element of the show is when a man from Tirharad launches a tirade against Arondir venting his frustrations over the elven presence in their lands, calling him "knife-ear" which is a slur taken straight out of Dragon Age. It feels cheap and delivers less commentary and insight into the power dynamics the show attempts to suggest with the elven garrison guarding Tirharad on orders from Gil-Galad.

When approaching racism as a concept, one must remember the dynamics of power and disenfranchisement, in which the group(s) that wield power exert and abuse their power over another group for gain and profit in one form or another.

Textually, there is an element of cultural hierarchy and supremacy judged by a Quendi group's proximity to the West with Calaquendi (most notably Noldorin in a Middle-earth context) hegemony on the top of that pyramid, closely followed by the Sindar. While this deserves its own essay, I think the fact that Arondir is a Silvan plays into the uncomfortable "lowly Silvan elf" narrative that was introduced in adaptation in Peter Jackson's Desolation of Smaug (2013). Any review that claims fantasy racism is a "new" element to Tolkien adaptation in Rings of Power is inaccurate in this regard.

This is also made all the more uncomfortable by the fact that Arondir is played by Ismael Cruz Córdova who is Black and Puerto Rican, and is so far the only elf to be portrayed by a non-white actor. This, coupled by the fact that he is also a Silvan OC highlights a bunch of in-universe, and productional issues with regards to the way in which racism and inclusion are handled.

“[Wood-elves] differed from the High Elves of the West, and they were more dangerous and less wise. For most of them… were descended from the ancient tribes that never went to Faerie in the West. There the Light-elves and the Deep-elves, and the Sea-elves went and lived for ages, and are fairer and wiser and more learned, and invented their magic and their cunning craft in the making and of beautiful and marvellous things, before some came back into the Wide World… Still elves they were and remain, and that is Good People.”

— Flies and Spiders, The Hobbit

While there are definitely more nuanced ways to handle the element of inter-Quendi cultural dynamics, hierarchies, and conflicts, I don't think that establishing it using one-dimensional cheap commentary from a throwaway Tirharad man is the best way to go about it.

There are implications of Eldar holding power over men in the First Age, with men being portrayed as vassals in a feudalistic system under the Noldorin princes. In the Second Age there is less of this implication with the establishment of Númenor as the new mannish cultural centre, but it would have been better handled in the Tirharad context if there were points made about power dynamics with the Tirharad men treated as second-class citizens of their own lands or vassals of Eldar power and hegemony over their lands for the sake of their interests.

A line said by a Silvan soldier reasoning their station over the men of Tirharad as "descendants of those who served Morgoth" is uncomfortable as it plays into the established trope of South/Eastern men being inherently evil which links into Orientalist ideas of the East being percieved as fundamentally Other. This is an established trope in Tolkien which some of my links from my race in Tolkien masterpost linked below regarding the portrayal of Easterlings by Tolkien and in adaptation explain in more detail.

"The Silvan Elves had invented no forms of writing, and those who learned this art from the Sindar wrote in Sindarin as well as they could. By the end of the Third Age the Silvan tongues had probably ceased to be spoken in the two regions that had importance at the time of the War of the Ring: Lórien and the realm of Thranduil in northern Mirkwood."

— Appendix A: The Silvan Elves and Their Speech, History of Galadriel and Celeborn, Unfinished Tales

There is also a soft imperialism and cultural assimilation aspect to Sindarin settler colonialism in the Second Age, and while we have yet to meet the major Sindarin players of the Second Age (namely Oropher, Amdir, and Amroth), it may yet hold implications for Arondir down the line.

It feels rather strange that Gil-Galad is implied to hold dominion over Silvan elves, as it feels reductive of inter-Quendi dynamics from textual material. Unless Arondir and the other Silvans garrisoned at Tirharad are Silvan elves of Ered Luin or of the forests that fall within Lindon, there is no reason they should answer Gil-Galad's orders, much less recognise Gil-Galad's authority over them as a people group.

It is also strange that Gil-Galad appears to hold the more imperialistic narrative, rather than Galadriel who is explictly depicted as having imperialistic motives in Middle-earth. I question how this aspect of his character will be handled in the show, but I'm not holding my breath given how fantasy racism is often handled poorly and with little nuance in Tolkien fandom, adaptation, and fantasy as a genre.

The second instance in which we are shown the theme of fantasy racism is when Galadriel is rescued out of the water by human castaways. Halbrand reveals her ear, and the woman on board who had previously showed her kindness in offering water, turns on her and shrieks at the elf.

We do not know which people group(s) the castaways belong to, but Halbrand claims to be of the South.

The undertones of fantasy racism falls onto Galadriel's shoulder, who once again in adaptation is played by a white woman. I have written a thread on Twitter criticising fan responses to Morfyyd Clark's instagram posts, and how the Rings of Power fandom has ascribed to the actress the role of a white saviour in which it feels as if the conversation of racism is again being centred on whiteness.

Additional links and sources:

Please check out my Race in Tolkien masterpost for more links on the topic. I've last updated it 02/09/2022.

The Neoclassical Aesthetic Given to the Noldor and its Unfortunate Implications

Elves in their Roman mid-first century legionnaire-esque armour designs battle amongst the chaos against legions of orcs, and a mound of helmets as a symbol and testiment to the mighty dead. Galadriel adds a galea to the mound in sorrow and grief.

The scene shifts to Lindon in an unspecified time during the Second Age. A male elf crowned in golden laurels plays the lyre, and the female servants clad in their sleeveless Doric chitons linger in the background of shots.

As I mention above, the proscription of a neoclassical aesthetic to the Noldor exacerbates existing textual favourtism and cultural superiority, made all the more uncomfortable with recent discourses regarding the whiteness of the elves and the knowledge that real life facist and white supremacist groups have a habit of co-opting Classical Greek and Roman imagery. One need only look to Benito Mussolini and Identity Evropa as examples.

It feels less coincidental when considering the Classical Greek and Roman imagery and white actors the show has deliberately chosen for the Noldor.

This is a complicated and nuanced subject, with the popularisation of Ancient Greece and Rome as inherently white societies being a recent invention popularised in the 18th century by scholars such as Johann Joachim Winckelmann.

I brace myself and wince for the inevitable far-right white supremacist co-option of the neoclassical Noldor from the Rings of Power. It feels as if all my arguments against elves being inherently "white" are all for nothing, as in the past I have come face-to-face with white supremacists who have used the Peter Jackson film portrayals of Galadriel and Arwen as the pinnacle of white feminity to further their incentive to keep the elves in adaptation as white as possible.

Additional links and sources:

The whiteness of the Rings by Sean Redmond

Whitewashing Antiquity by Imara Ikhumen

Why the alt-right loves ancient Rome And Greece, too. by Sean Illing

#rings of power #the rings of power #lotr on prime #racism in tolkien #tolkien meta #tolkien adaptation #finrod #galadriel #arondir #gil galad #rings of power critical #not really a review per se but just some opinions and analysis

319 notes · View notes

aspd-culture · 8 months

Note

So I noticed that the criteria states that the symptoms have to show themselves before 15. However, I feel like I've developed my empathy has lowered in the last 5 years or so. Stealing and some purposeful manipulation is all I can really think of as things I did as a child, other than that I was a pretty sensitive kid. But after every traumatic event I feel like a part of me shut down my feelings, and I remember losing some of that automatic emotional tug reaction to things. However, it's only recently that I went through a prolonged period of isolated emotional agony for basically years on end. Ever since then I've been feel pretty irritated at people's emotional displays and don't feel any instinctual pity. I've been having trouble not getting straight up angry. I did still cry when my cat died, and I still feel some emotions, especially with fiction. I wouldn't torture an animal for no reason, but I often think about harming others physically. I'm agonizingly bored all the time, and I feel like my "normal" reactions to things, like acting really sorry, have just become habit more than anything else. Idk what I'm asking for here tbh. Thanks anyway.

Upon re-checking the DSM criteria for this ask, I believe what it is saying is that some marked symptoms of ASPD (aka non-age appropriate antisocial traits not otherwise attributable to normal development and/or other known issues), not that you have to have every symptom that would lead to diagnosis before age 15. Technically, it actually says there must be “evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years” which has much different criteria than ASPD does. Stealing and manipulation, if done frequently enough, could very likely qualify for that criteria, depending on the opinion of the professional doing the evaluation. I could be wrong, but that is how I am reading it, and I think it would make more sense that way.

Even if you were in the process of developing ASPD as a child, the reason that it can’t be diagnosed before 18 is that it, for the most part, is said to be able to be avoided before that age, even in a child with antisocial traits, if they are given adequate support. In children who go on to develop ASPD, these antisocial traits worsen over time rather than get better, and solidify into a true personality disorder as the brain moves past the developmental stage where it could be avoided. Therefore, it stands to reason imo that the symptoms would likely continue getting worse and potentially have entirely new symptoms begin to show up later in life. After all, one of the symptoms of ASPD is substance abuse, and while many teens engage with substances, it is far more common to see that symptom pop up well past the 15 year old limit.

In the presence of new/extended trauma post-age 15, I would honestly be more surprised to find a pwASPD whose symptoms *didn’t* worsen in response to that. The more our maladaptive worldview is confirmed - such as through experiencing further trauma - the more our brains double-down because it has been proven right. When that happens, it can justify reacting more harshly and putting up more solid defenses against the danger that evidently may show up at any moment, as far as our brains are concerned. At its core, ASPD is a response to trauma (at least the *vast* majority of the time), so the more trauma you add, the greater that response may be.

Plain text below the cut:

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

37 notes · View notes

rippedstitches · 8 months

Text

I’m gonna try to explain The Dad Stand-In Matrix and make some sort of sense, here we go. And don't take this seriously if you disagree, I don't know what I'm talking about and it's just based on vibes.

The Roy kids receive both affection and abuse from Logan, wrapped up in a fucked little package they all call love. Power, control, domination, this is how you love, and this is how you are loved. The expectation is that the siblings become Logan, so they learn to emulate his behavior, but they also are locked in to a pattern where they must have a “Logan” in their lives to give them that specific kind of "love,” especially when they aren’t in the good graces of the real Logan. In their sibling relationships, these dynamics show up, each sibling existing in relation to Logan, either as his stand in, or as his child.

More under the cut

Roman/Kendall - This is the only relationship with a straightforward, unchanging hierarchy (unless, of course, Dad relationships overshadow this, like in Too Much Birthday). Kendall as Logan, Roman as the child. The person Kendall is with Roman is everything Logan respects, and person Roman is with Kendall is everything Logan despises. (tw csa & cocsa) Strictly headcanon territory here, I believe that Ken was sexually abused by Logan (more for another post I think because it’s not super relevant) and in turn sexually abused Roman during the dog pound game, which contributes to this and further complicates/solidifies their adult relationship. (end tw)

Roman/Shiv - Two children, most of the time. There is a slight conflict, but it's childish, because neither believes the other is serious. Roman wants (subconsciously, none of the sibs are aware of any of this) to be Shiv's Logan, which is where the petty insults and sexually demeaning comments come from, but he just can't go all the way. Because of this, Shiv doesn't ever feel dominated by him, but she also doesn't feel compelled to wield too much power over him either. She likes the banter and the relative lightness of their relationship. She does look down on him though, and this becomes more apparent when she's working with Ken. Despite all this, they're the youngest children, likely close in age, and they grew up together in Kendall's shadow, both having things about them that made them "unworthy" of the top job. I think this is the reason twin theory is so popular, they are very much two siblings.

Shiv/Kendall - Here's why, in my opinion, Shiv and Kendall have the most complicated & hard to pin down relationship of all of the siblings. They see each other as Logan stand ins, but need to become Logan themselves. This creates a constant push-pull, not only between them, but internally. They both want to be on top, and will say and do the most awful things to each other to get there, but they’ll always make up, they’ll always come back. They both want affection and approval from each other, but giving it is seen as weak, and so is accepting it. It’s a dance: Who’s leading? Who’s winning? How can I get the upper hand? Listen to me. Do you want me on your team? Do you think I’m vicious enough? Do you wanna play bitey?

There’s more to be said about the non-sibling relationships, how the actual Logan affects things and where Connor fits into this but you get the idea I think

#succession #roy siblings #fawn

28 notes · View notes

hopepaigeturner · 1 year

Text

An Offer From and Avid Reader: 'Bridgerton No.2' & 'The Maid'

So as a fandom we all know the whole ‘Sophie sees Benedict as Benedict not Bridgerton no.2’. And I do love that, but also, I think it is slept on a little how Benedict does the same for Sophie.

The crumbs are there in the book, but I think the show could really highlight how Benedict is the first one to see, know and love Sophie. Not Sophie-illegitimate-child-Beckett. Not Sophie-the-maid-Beckett but just Sophie. Benedict loves every iteration of Sophie. And more importantly, Sophie never has to prove herself to Benedict.

Once again it would mean not merely treating Sophie’s trauma as a drama device but allowing that storyline to actually develop…

One could argue that due to Sophie’s upbringing, Sophie has this subconscious desire to prove her worth. Some researchers argue that as individuals, particularly children, we strive for ‘positive regard’. AKA, we crave validation/love about our achievements from a caregiver. And this could be the reason why Sophie is so clever, polite and ‘meek’—because she tried to do anything and everything to get her father to smile at her, for her father to believe that she was worthy of being his true daughter.

And yes, Araminta abused her, but initially, due to her very young age, I suspect that Sophie still tried to please her and prove she was worth being Araminta’s daughter by being the perfect submissive daughter and sister.

Then if you combine this with Araminta’s emotional abuse, tearing into Sophie’s self-esteem, coupled with Araminta neglecting Sophie’s very existence—all of this would set Sophie is a vicious cycle.

She feels unworthy-->tries to gain validation--> Does not receive validation-->unworthiness deepens--> increases effort for validation…over and over again. A downward spiral that the show could emphasise in flashbacks and when she arrives at Bridgerton house…

Not only does Sophie try and be the perfect maid for the Bridgertons, because she is terrified of being punished, but also because she feels the need to prove herself worthy. Especially, because she did not earn her place—Benedict pushed her into it.

Therefore, throughout her entire life, Sophie has put on a mask, a persona—the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect maid—all to please others rather than express her true self.

And then we have Benedict.

Benedict who fell in love when Sophie wore a silver dress, on a night when Sophie was nothing but herself.

Benedict who fell in love when she walked around in breeches and connected through poetry, art, comfort and loss at My Cottage. Even when she mocked him, scolded him and argued with him about the correct way to chop an onion or his opinion on the working class. A time where Sophie was allowed to be herself—even encouraged to be so.

Benedict who fell in love with her even when she returned to London and they became Sophie-the maid and Benedict-the-gentleman.

Benedict who she actively had to discourage from pursuing her. Benedict who went out of his way to prove to her his worth—not the other way around.

And then (in my S4 version of sofa scene), she reveals her past in a shouting match, showing (in her opinion) all the ugly, horrid things about her. And, unlike everyone else in her entire life, Benedict steps towards her not away from her and says…

“You are Sophie. You are a woman who is kind and compassionate even after a life of hardship that would bow or break the strongest of men. You are a woman who stands by her convictions no matter how many people try and sway you, no matter how many lashes you endure, nor whether the other road is easier. You, Sophie Beckett, are brilliant in mind, heart and soul. I am inspired by you; I am humbled by you, and I am honoured to be in your presence and awed by every facet of your being. That is who you are, Sophie….That is who you are to me, Sophie.”

Benedict still loves her and has always loved her—the Sophie who likes to make up stories, who likes swimming in lakes and cares deeply about others—just as she loves him, Benedict, who has the soul of an artist, hates Byron, and will spend his soul to ensure the people he loves are cared for.

Sophie has never had to actively try with Benedict, not to gain his respect, companionship or love.

So…while yes, Sophie is the first one to see Benedict as more than Bridgerton no.2., Benedict is also the first one to see Sophie as just Sophie, not Beckett, not Gunningworth, not Penwood. Just Sophie.

And if the show manages to capture that…well, I’ll be like...

#an offer from an avid reader #an offer from a gentleman #benophie #soulmate parallels #benedict bridgerton #sophie beckett #the potential is there #the potential is so just there #benedict x sophie #adaptation #bridgerton #s4 speculation

85 notes · View notes

twothpaste · 10 months

Note

For the meme!! Duster :D

First impression: I remember liking Duster a lot when I first played M3. The way the game gets you into his perspective at the start of Chapter 2 is really impactful… Wess shouting at him and degrading him, while he just loyally stands there and takes it without a fuss. And the care with which he's animated - always limping (even in his Pigmask disguise), takin' a deep breath before using Wall Staples, spinnin' his bass around when he performs - was endearing & impressive from day 1. I don't recall having any profound thoughts or headcanons about him, but I was glad to play with such a unique party member!

Impression now: I fuckin' love him. A man of such humble highs and lows. He goes from being a cooped-up undersocialized abuse victim to a rockstar celebrity to a world-saving hero, and does it all in the most gentle unassuming manner imaginable. What I think is most special & sad & remarkable about Duster is how painstakingly selfless he is. Dude who will drop literally everything on the spot to do what's asked of him, to help a neighbor in need, to look after a kid who needs him. Putting everyone else first, to such an admirable extent - and to such a dramatic fault. He was denied any sense of self worth growing up, which creates this fascinating & tragic double-edge. He doesn't know how to be kind to himself, but by god, he'll do right by others even if it kills him.

Favorite moment: When he plays with DCMC one last time at New Pork City. It's loads of fun, and so fucking sweet. His bandmates are overjoyed to see him, Lucas & Kuma are delighted to hear him perform again, everyone's gathered to listen. OJ tells him afterwards they could never replace him - DCMC's not complete without its bassist. I imagine he starts to realize here how genuinely loved he is. That he's not just a vessel for positive action, but a crucial part of the communities he loves! And a beloved & worthy person in his own right!!

Idea for a story: There is something very existentially haunting about how Duster's the only Tazmilian who's had his memories wiped twice. Dude's lived three separate lives - four if the post-amnesiac epic adventure Duster we play with from Chapter 5 onwards counts as another. I gotta wonder how he reconciles his identity, especially after (presumably) recovering his White Ship memories sometime postgame. I like to imagine he's content to settle down as a musician first n' foremost, donning his stage name when he performs. But god knows what kinda horrors he witnessed, growing up in a world on the brink of apocalypse. And how he might convey this to his bandmates, who must have their own wild timetravel backstories to grapple with. And how he settles back into a village where he used to be a total black sheep. And how he carves out a new life for himself as an independent adult, after Wess deprived him of agency for so long. Just seems like there's a quite a few disparate Dusters for future Duster to sort out!

Unpopular opinion: My man is thirty or forty years old. Can scarcely fathom him younger. I put him at 37 post-timeskip, myself.

Favorite relationship: Hard to place which is my favorite, so I'll do a few. His situation with Wess makes me ache so bad. Some folks interpret Wess more charitably, which I can see & respect, but I personally read him as pretty explicitly abusive. The fact Wess does have commendable traits too, though, and that he & Duster do seem to care for each other deep down, complicates things in such a realistic way. Duster's not the sorta person to write off his aging father, despite how badly Wess has hurt him and let him down. Wess does love his son, but might be too stubborn to truly change his ways. Where do they go from there? Who's to say, but it makes my chest hurt. I love to imagine the way Duster treats Lucas & Kuma is in stark contrast to his upbringing. That he's endlessly patient with these kids, even at their weakest and worst. 'Cause he knows exactly how it feels to be berated & chastised for failure. I also think his time with DCMC feeds into that. Like, they taught him to play bass n' perform n' everything - surely it didn't come easy for an amnesiac with no prior social skills or musical talents. He learned patience and care from them. The thought of his new friends treating him gently for the first time, and Duster not remembering any other life, is so fuckin' sweet to me. Agh.

Favorite headcanon: He likes wearing Hawaiian shirts. He's dating OJ - let these gay men be mundane, middle-aged, and schlubby as hell. His postgame hobbies include sailing and, yes, again, smoking mad pot.

#thank youuuu #ask tag #2thtalks

22 notes · View notes

hellcheer-heaven · 11 months

Text

Thoughts on Hellcheer:

What I love about Hellcheer is that while technically it is a “good girl/bad boy” relationship, there was a chance for the show to break away from that formula. The “bad boy” is a huge dork with a good heart. The “good girl” has complexities to her.

What I will share here centers on the small amount of canon from the show. As well as headcanons and my opinions. Please feel free to check it out and agree/disagree as well. I’m open to listening to what you have to say as well.

Eddie Munson

When I went back and watched the forest scene between Eddie and Chrissy, he doesn’t try to demean or manipulate her.

He doesn’t try to make a whole speech explaining that he hurts her because he loves/wants to protect her.

Instead Eddie fake stabs himself in the heart and acts like a doofus on purpose because that’s who he is; and it makes Chrissy laugh.

An actual genuine laugh that she probably hasn’t made in quite a while; she smiles to the point where her nose and eyes crinkle up.

When Chrissy admits that she doesn’t remember who he is, Eddie plays around and is on a role with his comedic timing.

He never insults her or makes her feel bad for not recalling who he is (he redirects to himself, “I wouldn’t remember me either Chrissy!”).

When she does remember, the boy is absolutely ecstatic and she’s just as excited.

Even when he says, “You’re a freak,” it’s in a humorous manner.

I also like to think that if Vecna never went after Chrissy and she tried out the substance, Eddie would have stayed beside at her side the whole night.

Speaking to her about what was going to happen and holding her hand as it started to kick in.

While I don’t know how she would have reacted to the ketamine, I have a feeling Eddie would have never taken advantage of her in such a vulnerable state.

While he’s familiar with the effects, I think he would be really scared of how she’d react to the drug during and after it’s over.

He’d help her get better and regret what he’s done.

Even though she did ask for something stronger, Eddie would wish that he never gave anything to her.

Chrissy Cunningham

Regarding Chrissy’s “good girl” status, the show is really able to give us an idea as to who she is and what her life is like based on the hallucination scenes.

She’s someone that has experienced terrible trauma at the hands of her mother.

Constantly being demeaned and called awful names because her mother is controlling and she forces Chrissy to fit into a box based on harmful standards of beauty and femininity.

If the show gave Chrissy more time, we could have seen the way she acts around Laura: Standing up straight, being reminded to look into her eyes, ordered to speak louder, and constantly being reminded that as the eldest sibling she needs to set an example for her brother.

Yet as soon as guests arrive at the Cunningham home, Laura is completely different person: Warm, inviting, and welcoming to everyone.

Laura would be the kind of person that knows exactly which mask to put on when people are around vs. being surrounded by her family.

Assuming her mother is starkly religious, Chrissy could have also have religious trauma (maybe not to the point of what Margaret White does to Carrie, but still just as terrifying).

Chrissy was taught and forced from a young age to be a “good girl” based on her mother’s beliefs and to also avoid being abused.

She learned to listen and obey, to never raise her voice in anger or frustration, and to never stray away from the assigned path that has been laid out for her since childhood.

Chrissy’s smile is a mask that she wears to hide her pain, pain that she feels guilty for because her mother would gaslight her into believing that she’s selfish.

“You don’t know what real pain is Christine. You should be lucky that you have a roof over your head, clean clothes on your body, and food in the fridge.”

Chrissy’s whole perceived self isn’t just, “good” for the sake of “being good”, she’s someone who has to play that part for the sake of survival.

If given the chance we could have learned more about who she is, watch her make mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and see her grow.

I’d like to believe that she could have had a scene where she stands up to her mom and rightfully tell her to stop treating her so horribly.

That all her life she’s been made to feel awful for simply existing and that she’s had enough.

And perhaps even tell her dad that he was never there to stop the abuse.

When they’re together

They would still be a bit shy around each other, but those feelings would start to dissipate as they slowly become a little more comfortable.

There could have been scenes where they reminisce/wince over middle school.

There would definitely be more moments of “You’re not what I thought you’d be like” as they start to open up about themselves (at least what they’re comfortable talking about).

Typical things such as glancing at each other from down the hall, leaving notes in the other’s locker, and yes getting paired up for a project would have happened.

Eddie would have given his guitar pick necklace to her.

Chrissy would have given her green scrunchie to him.

He would start to open up about himself, telling her about his childhood and how difficult things were for him growing up.

She would talk about her life as well, which would surprise and anger Eddie that she’s been treated so cruelly.

He believed that coming from money meant having material possessions which in turn should have made her happy (it’s the 80s, remember “Greed is good.”).

All of the money in the world doesn’t mean much to her, sure the financial security is important, but there isn’t much love going on in that house.

Then you look at Eddie and how he doesn’t have much himself financially, but he’s rich in life thanks to Uncle Wayne, his friends, D&D, Hellfire Club, music, and his guitar.

Now having Chrissy in his life makes the world much more brighter.

Still that won’t pay the bills for the trailer, and who knows if Corroded Coffin will ever get discovered.

In a sense these two characters would be able to connect because they’re openly talking about their childhoods and their struggles.

In doing so they learn to truly see past what’s on the surface.

A friendship would blossom and perhaps something more.

Also Murray would have a blast shipping them together: “Hey I get it, couple of young high school sweethearts against the world.”

Chrissy and Eddie would fumble their words as they tell him that they’re not together.

The gears in Murray’s head would be turning faster: “Oh I see, Basketball Star Ken (Jason) is out of the picture. Looks like Cheerleader Barbie found herself a new boy toy: Trailer Trash Ken!”

Closing thoughts

Stranger Things could have really taken the “good girl/bad boy” couple and given us something really meaningful. We could have seen two characters that fit into their retrospective groups and watch as they break away from the mold of the “mean and scary” cheerleader and metal head. As much as I like to believe that they would have be a wonderful couple, they would have had their moments of anger and misunderstandings with each like most couples do. They would both learn to unlearn their preconceived notions about themselves, each other, and their affiliating groups. In the end, they would have been voted Hawkins’ most unlikely couple that actually made it work out.

#hellcheer #eddissy #munningham #eddie munson #chrissy x eddie #eddie x chrissy #chrissy cunningham #thoughts on hellcheer

27 notes · View notes

cosmic--dandelion · 9 months

Text

So I have a fairly unique take on Kakyoin's backstory in my own writing. I wrote his parents as straight up toxic, psychologically and sometimes physically abusive, and neglectful. My version of Kakyoin ran away from home years before he met Jotaro, spent some time in a mental institution, and instead of being stalked and kidnapped, deliverately sought Dio out on his own.

Quite a departure from the more commonly accepted "Kakyoin has nice, normal parents who just didn't understand him" interpretation, huh? So why did I write this (other than the fact that I graviate toward angsty backstories) and how does it fit what we know about Kakyoin?

Kakyoin's most obvious feature is his intelligence. All of his friends, who are (mostly) brainy guys themselves, acknowledge that he's the best, most reliable strategist in the group, and a good portion of his dislogue is info-dumping. As expected of an honor student, he's very prim and proper to contrast Jotaro's delinquent image. Yet he's also weird, socially awkward, brutally honest, and emotionally distant. I've heard him described as having no setting in between "uncomfortably polite" and "rude bastard", and damn if that doesn't fit him like glove. In battle, he's probably the scariest, most ruthless crusader and is perfectly capable of straight-up beating the shit out of his closest friends, even if he's also capable of bring the bigger person and forgiving them. Friendship and bonds are everything to him. He's caring and empathetic but has balls of steel and takes exactly zero shit from anyone. He's quite familiar with other cultures' customs and traditions, implying he's an experienced traveler. Kakyoin is very independent and has skills, knowledge, and confidence you wouldn't expect a normal kid his age to have.

I wrote a little about Kakyoin's backstory in the second fanfiction I ever wrote, "Facets" and then in great detail in "In Water". If you haven't yet, please go check them out! They are, in my opinion, quite a bit more interesting that just hearing me talk about them. Now onto spoilers, for both the manga and my own work.

So this is Kakyoin's canonical backstory. All of it. The anime isn't canon, the fighting games aren't canon, the Josuke and Hol Horse spin-off isn't canon. Only this is, plus that 19 page backstory Araki wrote for him thirty years ago that will never see the light of day.

This is it. There's a blurb on his character profile that mentions that his parents are alive, they think he ran away, and they're either "shocked " or "very worried" depending on the translation. Then he dies, and in typical Araki fashion, Kakyoin is never seen or referenced again.

The sheer amount of angst Kakyoin had over no one being able to see his stand, even compared to other born stand users, makes me think there's more to it.

In my version of his backstory, Kakyoin's parents are poor. His dad is a rather unimpressive, unambiguous office worker who's made several bad business decision, escalating tensions between him and his wife. She hails from an upper middle class background and is generally a bit snobbish and image-conscious. Kakyoin's birth just adds fuel to the flames. In addition to being another mouth to feed, he has inexplicably bright red hair and violet eyes. (In my version of the jjba-verse, born stand users just have weird hair and eye colors sometimes.) The husband decides that this means his wife cheated on him with a red-headed foreigner.

Kakyoin is a problem child. He's exceptionally bright and imaginative in a school system (remember, it's 1970s Japan) that doesn't know how to handle gifted children, and he's non-neurotypical with a troubled home life to boot. That conversation with his teacher probably happens around this time. He self isolates, but he's not causing trouble on purpose, and the other kids are intimidated, but not hateful. Yet.

Then his parents have a their worst fight yet, and Kakyoin loses control of Hierophant due to stress and almost kills his father. The man is traumatized (as you would be if you were possessed by an invisible tentacle monster only you son can see and control) and abandons his own family. The mother knows Kakyoin did *something*, but she doesn't know what. Her resentment deepens, and they continue to drift apart.

Kakyoin's relationship with his mother reaches its nadir, and now he *is* getting ostracized. He's angry at the world and starting to lash out. By age 10, Kakyoin has started seeing counselors. He is misdiagnosed as having a whole host of scary-sounding mental disorders and is forced to take powerful mood stabilizers and antipsychotics every day. After all, he spends all his time playing with someone they can't see and drawing a weird green thing that looks like a cthulhuloid abomination. The mother reaches her breaking point and surrenders him to a combination group home/"special school". This experience defined him probably more than any other event in his life before this point. It's incredibly violating and humiliating, and Kakyoin develops a complex about always having to be seen as the smartest guy in the room.

At around age 14, he runs away, desperate to find more people like him. On his travels, he hears rumors about a mysterious, beautiful man in Egypt with strange powers. The entire "family vacation" to Egypt was a lie he made up on the spot because he didn't want to admit that HE sought Dio out, not the other way around, and that he's a runaway with a checkered past.

So what about his parents? My version of Kakyoin doesn't hate them and would have at least tried to bridge the gap between them if they'd both hasn't so thoroughly cut him out of their lives. He feels guilty on some level for not being a good enough son, and he wants to believe that they still love him on some level. Hence the "I'm sorry for making you worry" line.

Are they worried? Probably. They're shitty parents, not monsters.

(The "mom has dad and dad has mom" line? The former Mrs. Kakyoin had a revolving line of boyfriends and lovers, so Kakyoin started to think of 'dad' as a temporary position in her life rather than a singular person. Growing up in a dysfunctional family with no socialization with peers who had normal ones, he has a warped view of how families are.)

So what about Dio?

This one's pretty easy. In my version, Dio acted like a friend at first, lulling Kakyoin into a false sense of security. He was a little intimidated, but not full on terrified. Dio didn't want to risk destroying Kakyoin's brain, finding it quite useful, so he basically tried to groom him so the fleshbud wouldn't be needed. Then once Dio realized that Kakyoin was going to be harder to control than his other minions, he implanted the fleshbud. Dio being Dio, he decided to scare the shit out of the poor kid, savoring his pain and horror and sense of betrayal.

I think I would probably feel differently giving Kakyoin this amount of baggage if I ever wrote anything canon-compliant. I also didn't add it to make him more of a wobbie or break him so Jotaro could fix him with the power of yaoi.

It means something to me that (my version of) Kakyoin went through all this shit and healed from it and went on to lead a long, happy, successful life.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #noriaki kakyoin #stardust crusaders #meta #my writing #child abuse #ableism #neglectful parents #backstory #character study #in water #facets #spoilers #long post

11 notes · View notes

drdemonprince · 1 year

Note

hi devon! i recently binged all your medium articles, your writing hits so close to home and has opened so many doors of self-reflection for me, thank you. one of your latest ones was about porn and autism, i have some differing opinions on porn itself, but i enjoyed your perspective on it.

i would love to hear your thoughts on autism and hypersexuality in a broader sense. i’m someone that’s recently realised how much my premature exposure to sexuality and porn in childhood made me hypersexual in a way that really stunted my personal growth and had me traumatising myself with my own compulsive sexual behavior. as an undiagnosed autistic adhd kid i was just grasping after any form of stimulating and self-soothing behavior, but also looking after ways to make myself more interesting and appealing to peers and most importantly boys (because interest from men = value as a human i learned early on). i think i could’ve figured out gender and sexuality stuff a little earlier and avoided my comphet phase had it not been for how obsessed i was with sexualising and objectifying myself in my tweens and early teens tbh. i hope to see more people talking about autism and sexuality. my heart breaks thinking about how so many demonise kids with problematic sexualised behavior when they’re literal children trying to figure out this having a body thing and there’s usually grown-ups around them standing idly by doing nothing effective to help.

Hi there! I love hearing from people who don't share my perspective completely but can still get a lot out of my work.

I alluded to this yesterday, but I don't believe hypersexuality or hyposexuality are a thing. Where do we draw the line where it becomes pathological, and why? Clearly humans have varied in how much they desire and think about sex since the beginning of time, and while we still have not figured out a respectful, appropriate way to cope with the fact of it, children also sometimes have an interest in sex and masturbation and a curiosity about it that is completely value neutral. It's just a thing that happens because children are living human beings.

Unfortunately we inhabit a paradigm where this is supposed to be either ignored or punished and discouraged, and anyone who does bring it up is viewed as having some ulterior motive beyond the liberation of children from abuse. And so if a child is curious about sex or driven to explore it in some way, they only means they have of pursuing that interest is by consuming adult material, which a lot of people look back on having done with a variety of different feelings. It sounds like you saw a lot of porn from a young age that really gave you unhelpful expectations for yourself and others and that it really hurt you, and I'm really sorry to hear that.

I consumed a lot of adult content as a child and a teen, not just porn but also real life gore and jump scare videos and elaborate, violent sexual stories, and of all those experiences, the only one that seemed to scar me was the jump scare videos. Seriously, newgrounds fucked me up, and not because I was playing games like Orgasm Angel. It was shit like kikia that fucked me up. The potential that my most beloved friend, the computer, could start screaming at me and showing me dead babies at any moment meant I was on edge and obsessively read all the comments on every video I ever viewed for like... seven or eight years. Even if a friend or classmate wanted to show me a youtube video, I forced them to read through all the comments and convince me it wasn't a jumpscare video first. For like years.

It might be that the only reason I was able to watch and read and play a lot of porn online as a kid without any real adverse effects was because I had a really specific fetish, and so most of the content I was able to view was of an obviously fictional and fantastical variety or was made directly by the people who starred in it. As I wrote in my essay, I'm glad that I started watching brainwashing gifs on weird websites and masturbating to them as a kid. It helped me feel less alone in my fetish and it didn't scar me, and provided a sexual outlet that was actually pretty safe and private and didn't put me in contact with any adults. It was a really nice pressure valve, a way to stim and zone out and regulate my breathing and get off, and finding content like that helped me to realize there was a whole big wide world out there where freaks like me could be okay.

THAT said, I can understand your experience! Porn didn't fuck me up as a kid, but I did learn some really pernicious sexual norms as a teen, because I had abstinence only education at school and I obsessively read Dan Savage's advice column Savage Love as a replacement for having any kind of credible sex ed. I used to worship Dan Savage. I met him for pancakes once, you can read about my whole complex relationship to him and his work in a very old piece I wrote pre transition here:

Dan Savage's work was really influential on me and on a lot of people of my generation. From his stuff, I learned that I should be good, giving, and game for just about anything a partner wanted -- which meant I pressured myself to do things I didn't always want to do. He normalized a kind of casual, unarticulated nonmonogamy among people of my age group including everyone I dated -- and so being open without really discussing what that meant was the norm for me from age 19 until about age 23.

Dan Savage wrote that blowjobs come standard and that any model who is not equipped with them should be returned to the lot -- thats really how he described women who didn't do oral. As broken cars. Dan Savage said that asexuals should only date other asexuals and probably werent real anyway. He said vaginas looked like canned hams dropped from great heights. He said a gay trans guy who couldnt take T for health reasons was 'delusional' for wanting to date fellow gay men. Reading Dan Savage fucked me up, and it's not even his fault -- he was just an outspoken faggot with an advice column that was always clear in reflecting his biases and agendas, and I was just a horny confused kid with no sex education and no where else to learn about sex other than porn and the back of the local alternative mag.

So, this is all a very long and meandering way of saying that I'm sorry you also got attached very young to untrustworthy sources of sexual information and that they also scarred you and left you pressured to be something you were not. I was there. I think many of my generation were and some still are. and not just the Autistics. I know so many people who got swept up in the messages that conventional porn and writers like dan savage had to peddle -- straight people, queer people, poly people, disabled people, everyone. The sad part is that Dan Savage for all his faults was still a lot more progressive than where many of my peers turned, which was sites like efukt or the predecessors to the chan sites and shit. It was brutal out there.

It's also the case that many of us Autistic people are prone to intense fixation and rumination and obsession, by neurotypical standards, sometimes to our detriment, sometimes in a completely neutral way that would cause us zero harm if it weren't for all the societal stigma and judgement. and that can mean that, especially when we are lonely and closeted teens, that we retreat into a lot of damaging digital messages and imagery, and I think a lot of bad, sexist straight porn unfortunately played that role in a lot of people's lives. My version of that was instead compulsively reading pro ana livejournals (as a teen) and then later terf detransition blogs (in my 20s). So again I don't think it's necessarily a phemoneon of porn per se, but obviously there is a lot of really toxic shit out there that has warped a lot of people's viewpoints around sex and relationships, I can't deny that.

I wish I knew what the solution was to help prevent future generations of kids from going through the kinds of damage you and I went through, but I think we are so far from being prepared as a culture to have this conversation that most attempts to broach it end up making things worse for kids in all kinds of scary new ways -- parents heavily monitoring and controlling their kids browsing habits for example. That sure as hell isn't going to help a closeted queer kid who is exploring themselves in most cases. Instead of building a world that is more liberatory and supportive to kids, we just keep trying to control them more and more, and impose more and more strict standards on them, which always hurts the weirdest and queerest among us the worse. It fucking sucks. Shit. i really am going to have to write about about child liberation one day wont i

36 notes · View notes

flamingtunapictures · 10 months

Text

Throne of Glass - Series Review

tl:dr - A true-to-genre series that delivers no ground breaking concepts but provides a marathon of enjoyable mental cardio

I recently finished reading the Throne of Glass series per a recommendation from a friend. I listened to the first 4 books and then read the remaining 4. Tower of Dawn was my favorite book from the series purely for Hasar’s line in how “she needed a fatter ass for her lover to grab at night.” I will not expand. My favorite character was probably Lysandra because she was so viciously competent and felt like the most well-rounded “human” character.

The story felt well paced with enough intrigue to keep me reading (even in the face of great irritation at the audio-book cadence*). It continuously delivered on action and visceral drama and climaxed with a satisfying conclusion to the epic 5000 page tale. The characters and world were robust and communicated effectively, albeit not entirely original.

This is probably my greatest criticism of the series. Throne of Glass digs its heels hard into almost every trope YA fantasy has to offer. A few of the author’s personal favorites became very apparent simply by their frequency (enemies-to-lovers in some form or another applied to well over 70% of the main romances in this series).

There was everything starting with the impossibly beautiful, dark, mysterious and deadly main characters, who: everyone falls in love with, is near-never outsmarted, and always has a lifetime of trauma before the age of 17 (including murdered parents and abuse by whipping [why is it always whipping?]). Relatively generic magic systems of bursting elements; main characters “discovering” their magic then becoming immediately competent and disproportionately powerful; larger-than-life dark lords; threats of worlds plunging into darkness; prophecies; a pantheon of (revealed to be false) gods; and a generic Christmas reskin, are just a few of the tropes ToG features. Most importantly however, we mustn’t leave out how almost every character of significance is beautiful beyond reason, hot, sexy, incredibly competent, and always outfitted with either the most alluring curves, or hardest muscle known to the genre. Oh, and why is that fantasy heroines are always sluts for chocolate? What is that?

The heavy presence and soon-forged expectation of these tropes allowed me to skim guiltlessly over large swaths of the story. I could tell I already knew the gist of most plot points without actually having to read them.

Now I don’t have anything truly against tropes however, or the use of them in storytelling. Nor do I think the absence of them guarantees a good narrative. However their overuse can make it difficult for a work to really “stand apart” from any others in the same genre. This is the case for ToG. It is a very engaging world but there is nothing truly original in it. I think a reader’s steadfast allegiance to this series will largely depend on if it was the first of its kind they read.

Besides suffering additionally from little YA genre stylings, such as the overuse of the word “shit,” (specifically in this case the phrase “all went to shit,”) and a variance of dramatic transitions loosely summarized as “all faded to black,” ToG delivers an excellent, cohesive, and engaging story worth the time of any reader looking for a YA fantasy book.

*Now let’s talk about the audiobooks. My opinions on the audiobook performance does not impact my overall sentiment to the content, as laid out above. BUT! To put it bluntly, I could not stand the audiobooks. The inflection, cadence, and overall delivery dripped with an arrogance and haughtiness (which, to be fair, were all very fitting for the main character) that ultimately oozed an unpleasant “pick-me”/”middle-school cringe” energy. (Look at me! I’m so dark and mysterious and cool. I’m an ASsAsInnnnNNNN *fweu* *fweu* [as I toss imaginary knives at my friends on the playground, promptly run up the steps 3 at a time and lift an entire chair over my head because, I’m so agile, and strong])

Okay, that’s all. Bye bye.

#throneofglass #throne of glass #tog #YAfantasy #fantasy #book review #review

12 notes · View notes

colorful-white-ideas · 9 months

Note

Funny how Mortox is trying to give the impression of everyone being the same person. Be serious! I get it, people have burner accounts (as if she doesn’t. She has been closing and reopening new accounts every second month. All to be “not” traceable and “not” to be held accountable) She is just trying to fuck up your credibility. As always with no proof. We all saw her “blooper” on facebook.

When she mentioned me , not so long ago , she said that my account being another Simon's acc was "pretty obvious " I made a post proving how terribly wrong she is.

I doubt that anyone with 2 cents of intelligence could still believe her delirious rants

Now my own take about all this Simon theories is : I don't really give a flying fuck if she is a female or male, if she is middle aged or a super model or a gay male or perry the platypus.

The magic of having a Tumblr account is that you can choose to keep your identity anonymous, does your gender really matter if you want to give an opinion about bill , his career and the shit show of personal life he has ? NO.

Mortox let the popularity she gained in the past get to her head and thinks she is the only one with the voice of reason. And She is basically dragging every blog she doesn't like or that goes against her narrative, cause she can't stand the idea of others living at peace , no one comes to hate on me or the rest so harshly like in her case cause we don't really force people to think like us ,we don't abuse of the Bill Skarsgård tag... We don't take the Alida and Bill subject as some kind of personal mission to solve and save him.

There are Anti Alida blogs out there that are getting more popular than her or that never lost public like Simon. And I bet she hates it.

Now about the Facebook thing I would have loved to have seen it live but -happily- I don't have more acc about Bill outside of Tumblr . I leave a like here and there with my personal acc after seeing some updates but that's all. I spend most of my free time watching memes and reels 🤷‍♀️

I don't know how she has the time and mental capacity to create profiles in almost every social media that is out there ... One of these days she will have another blooper that's for sure.

#mortox #alidamortox

9 notes · View notes

nonobadcat · 1 year

Note

I literally adore the way you write shiggy and I've gotten obsessed over that little crusty. You write all bnha characters amazingly and that's why I'm very curious about your dabi ban. Just out of pure curiosity why not dabi despite you'd write him amazingly? I mean to be honest there's million good reasons to leave that melting ass on his own but which did you pick ? Thank you for your amazing content all the same and you're the best!

Oh that. Long story short - I have daddy issues. (・・；)

TW: alcoholism, death, child abuse

So... part of the reason I'm so awol on and off for these last 6 months is my father died of his alcoholism and alcoholism induced dementia in Dec.

My childhood was a mixture of two types of memories:

A loving, supportive father who was super proud of me to other people (and many times, to my face).

A: Showed up to every childhood play, project, band concert even if it meant being penalized for taking off work B: Damn near punched a female gym teacher who told me to "suck it up and stop pretending" when my endometriosis left me so anemic I was blacking out. C: Raised me to learn that my opinion was valued and of equal weight to the adults in the home when making family decisions. As a result, numerous adults told my parents "It's so weird. Your daughter looks me in the eye and speaks to me like an adult even though she's so young". D: Supported my mom through multiple college degrees by handling my brother and I, the cooking, the bills, the mail and anything else she didn't have the emotional energy for. E: Being a life line to numerous friends with PTSD from military service, dangerous marriages, etc. When it came to protecting others, my father never backed down from a bully even if it put him in danger for his own life.

A red faced, frothing mad, perfectionist who screamed me out of the house over the following things:

A: The dishes being in the wrong place in the dishwasher (the "correct location" changed weekly so it was impossible to do it right) B: Being unable to spell words which were far below my reading level despite having perfect grades in every subject and a vocabulary large enough to pass the English component of the GRE at 12 years old. (Turns out I have dyslexia. Found that out at the age of 25.) C: Telling him I was too scared to drive with him because he was unable to stand up. We now know that, for him, that means his BAC was over 3.0%.

There is much more to it then that, but this is what I am will to talk about on the internet.

As to my fathers death: he got black out drunk, injured himself, had multiple surgeries to fix the injury, had been detoxed for 3 months, was literally coming home in 12 hours, and died from a massive blood clot to the lungs (while on 3 blood thinners) as my mother was walking through the threshold to his hospital room.

So... what does this have to do with Dabi? This basically:

Don't get me wrong. Unlike most of tumblr, I do not hate Endeavor. I think his character is well done, the Todoroki's varied reactions to the abuse are horrifyingly realistic, and the way he projects a public image and a private image is spot on. Honestly, in many ways, he's the opposite of my dad's sweet, soft sober personality, but the abuse resonates perfectly except for two things:

Endeavor canonically regrets what he did and tried to change (it'll never be enough, but he's trying).

My father couldn't remember, so there was neither regret nor acknowledgment of the abuse nor any attempts to change it.

As to which of the BNHA children I feel best represents me: it depends on the day. When I can recall the kindness, I'm Fuyumi. When I recall the heated arguments about how he was going to die of liver failure, I'm Shoto. When I recall how my mother had to spend her entire marriage being his "handler" at every social event, I'm Natsuo.

I when I recall all the times I hid with my cat in my room as he shrieked at me through the door... well...

However, unlike Shigaraki, I will never get closure for my abuse.

Where does that leave me?

I just can't bring myself to be romantic about the worst parts of myself. I want to forgive, if for no other reason then this hatred will eat my soul if I do not. However, my feelings are just so raw that Dabi hits too close to home.

#badcatasks #tw alcoholism #tw dabi #tw endeavor #tw child abuse #shit got real fast bro #I'm too much like Dabi #I wish I was more like Shigaraki

14 notes · View notes