#how i feel now

[brickwall1yrics]

7 Years - Charli XCX

#7 years #Charli xcx #how I feel now #lyrics #music #songs #albums #bands #song #album #art #artwork #folklore #my edit #sad #aesthetic #all caps #artists on tumblr #celebs #concert #emo #fashion #glow #all caps lyrics #typography #film #landscape #mine #midnights #my post

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

#i often wonder about how many things would be considered classic or high art had they only received the marketing #how many short films that were made for class could have been the most powerful thing you'd ever seen? if you'd seen them? #“you know the greatest films of all time were never made” etc etc #but like. these works of art ARE being made. it's just enjoyed by a smaller audience with equal impact though #i think about this one furry i used to follow on insta who had the coolest worldbuilding ever. it's been years. #thought prompted by that sketch of nimona from ten years ago that was just for a character design #posted to the creator's tumblr and now it's nominated for best animated feature film at the oscars #and by the genuine emotional reaction a fan comic made me feel. how much work had gone into it. how beautiful it was to me. #idk what to tag this but i hope whoever needs to hear it does #writing #writer #fandom #fandom culture #artist

[hamletthedane]

I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.

What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.

What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.

What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.

The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.

And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.

But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.

I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.

#shut up e #long post #Saturday thoughts #this has been in my drafts for a week haha #also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong #forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong #because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation #even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it #unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???

[nonebinary-leftbeef]

DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

#i've been listening to icarus by bastille #and for some reason my brain fills in 'this is how it feels to take a fall' as 'this is how it feels to take off all your skin' #and like fuck man #and I KNOW that’s technically not a misheard lyric but my post my rules cope #anyway my line now #also probably phrased this poorly but its ok #im allowed to be incomprehensible #as a treat #and then fuckin #from we sink by of monsters and men #the original line was 'please look away dont look at me' #and i kept hearing it as 'please learn a way to look at me' #anyway #shoving this post in the queue but please be aware that i am writing it very late at night #q

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

#marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!! #like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive #the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence #evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved #ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost #on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation #the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!! #also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood #in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?) #ruporas art

[inktho]

sometimes

#sometimes it be like that #i just locked myself out of my twt account so this is how i feel now #anyway happy week 5. i guess!!!! AUGH #screaming #dungeon meshi #chilchuck #full illust

[catshinji]

hmm.

#STOP WITH THE GREENDAY JOKES IVE HAD ENOUGH #internet #old web #old internet #was thinking about how 'lurk more' used to be a common phrase so people would learn forum etiquette before posting #but now.. #the fact that the phrase 'netiquette' has died out entirely says a lot i feel

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!! #I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁) #it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (: #and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

[creative-clawmarks]

Just outside the [ANGEL]'s line of sight,

two puppets recognize each other.

#my art #deltarune #kris #spamton #im not sure how in character this is but it made me sad when i thought of it so now you all have to feel it too #im so sorry you two i wish i could save you #but when i look away you stop existing so the only mercy i can grant you is a gentle hand on the crossbar

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

#the bad batch #tbb #star wars #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb hunter #mods art #mods draws #my art #YAYYYYY ITS DONE #i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think #just on and off #whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this #it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭 #but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool #very self indulgent but!!! whatever #i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol #okay byeeeeee #ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD #okay bye fr

[chaiaurchaandni]

have humans developed a language that can accurately describe the intensity of this grief?

#this is beyond words #i cant imagine who alone this person feels right now #and how alone all palestinians must feel #completely abandoned and forgotten by the world as your body is ripped to shreds in broad daylight #by 65k tonnes of bombs #this feels like the end of the world to me. i cant imagine anything beyond this #free palestine #palestine #gaza #glory to the martyrs #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #long live palestine #long live the resistance #death to israel

[ikpwecanfly]

Something I haven't seen discussed yet is not only did buck and Tommy kiss, but they JUST kissed. Tommy kissed him once, just communicating that "okay is this what you want us to do?" And then he set up a real romantic date where he's going to pick buck up at 8 and everything.

Buck who has a shit load of trauma from partners wanting him for nothing more than his body. From always having to be the person adding the romance into every relationship to convince people there's more to him then sex.

Baby boy just got asked on a wholesome date and got promised romantic helicopter flying lessons and he won't even have to drive and goddddvdhebusjabsjsjdnxns

#don't get me wrong #buddie #will always be my endgame #but i have a feeling tommy has the ability to be exactly what buck needs right now. #sweet and curious #and romantic #with someone who seems to actually know how lucky they are to get the chance #911 #911 abc #9 1 1 abc

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[egophiliac]

roll out the red carpet guys we're going to the SHAFTLANDS

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #tapis rouge #i have nothing else right now i'm sorry i just got excited by that vil hairstyle #(and i got REALLY excited for a second because i thought red carpet = movie premiere and i always love it when vil gets to be an ~acteur~) #(but 'luxe couture' makes me think fashion show instead. ah well.) #anyway it's time for the vil hometown event!!!! or...travel event at least? #are we gonna get to meet eric or is it gonna be someone else 👀 👀 👀 #like i would love to see eric but i kind of think it won't be him since he had that little main story cameo #(as portrayed by Generic Man Silhouette with some hair drawn on) #but feel free to prove me wrong twst! show us how much more glorious his hair has gotten in the last ten-ish years

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional #because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life #the dissatisfaction #the hoping for something more #something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work #it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us #and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out #exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see #there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper #I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well #😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters #and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist #when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them #to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well #Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too #I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult #my art #fanart #adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna the human #cake the cat #simon petrikov