#how long

[gracieheartspedro]

Crave

Part 3 of "How Long"

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

find part 1 and 2 here!

dedication: @jenispunk <3 I love you sm jen. thank you for always supporting my writing and being the best wife a girl could ever dream of. you make my heart so happy. thank you for helping me edit and being the first to read this and encouraging me no matter what! love you love you love you!!!

description: a weekend escape with joel and sarah, kinda. the bed situation is a little confusing. luckily you and joel make it work. when sarah's not around, of course.

word count: 5.5k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING AGAIN, dirty talk, daddy kink (aha), hotel sex?, begging? lmao I think that's it.

author's note: finally. it's here. I feel like I've been staring at this doc for 7 years. thank you all for your patience. I want to continue this series but I have to sit down and really brainstorm what I'd like the next parts to be. let me know your thoughts! THANK YOU FOR READING!

“My favorite Millers!” 

Your face was beaming, seeing Joel hop out of his truck with Sarah in tow. The truck was still running, the diesel engine chugging louder than any truck you had been in before. Joel always had a nicer, newer truck. He made great money and he was always having to go into construction zones that needed an all terrain vehicle. They always got pretty banged up with dirt and rocks, but he took excellent care of the interior. 

Joel grabs both of your bags, taking them to the backseat where Sarah would be crammed in with all the luggage. You give him a nod, silently thanking him. Sarah wraps her arms around your waist, giggling with excitement. 

“I’m so happy you’re coming with us! It’s going to be a great weekend,” She explains while you two walk over to the tall truck. You always found climbing into a truck unnatural and awkward yourself, but it was hot watching Joel hop in with ease. You agree with Sarah, all the while opening up the door for yourself. Sarah springs up to her seat, and you struggle to crawl up into the cab. It makes Joel chuckle. 

“I’m making you lift me into this thing next time,” you joke, easing back into the fabric seats, “Especially since you think watching me struggle is funny.”

Joel looks back in the rear view to see if Sarah’s paying attention, “‘s no problem at all, darlin’. I will gladly help you next time.”

You knew he was flirting. It makes your stomach bubble with excitement. He makes sure you two are buckled and starts on the two and half hour journey to Houston. Once you leave your neighborhood, Sarah taps your shoulder and holds out her new CD player. It’s purple and covered in sparkly stickers. 

“Looks like your Dad is supplying you with all the ways to listen to music,” you observe, glancing over at Joel. He’s just watching the road, one hand on the steering wheel, the other propped up on the shifter. He looks younger, the dusk sky the perfect back drop for his pronounced nose and beautiful eyelashes. You couldn’t help but stare, even as Sarah’s talking your ear off. He just nods along to her, making sure she knows she’s heard. 

“Think I’m gonna listen to my Kelly Clarkson CD this time,” Sarah explains, putting her earphones over her voluminous curls, “So don’t try to talk to me!”

You and Joel giggle, shaking your heads at her comment. It’s not like you were the one’s talking before, you both think. 

It gives you both a moment without a kid’s ears nearby. 

“How was the rest of your work week?” He asks, tapping the shifter to the soft hum of the radio.

“Boring,” You mumble, “Think one of the guys in marketing has a crush on me and he’s making it impossible to avoid him. I can’t even go to the break room without him bothering me.”

You didn’t know why you felt the urge to tell Joel about the situation. It wasn’t even a real situation, it was just an annoying thing happening in your life.

“Hmph,” he ponders for a moment, “Want me to kill him?”

His tone is serious, but you know he’s just messing. You grin, nudging his arm with your elbow gently, ensuring it doesn’t move the steering wheel. 

“My hero,” You comment as you watch a smile crack across his face, “No, thank you, though. If it starts to get to stalker status, I will call you.”

“Seems like stalkin’ already, baby girl.”

The nickname makes your stomach flip. You purse your lips, contemplating his words. Sure it was creepy, but the guy was scrawny and you could probably snap him in half with two fingers. He had nothing to really worry about. Right?

Joel steals a glance over at you. 

“Maybe, but I’ll handle it.”

You wanted him to think you were strong enough to deal with unwanted attention, but to be honest, you weren’t sure how to say no to most men. You only ever had Tommy and he scared everyone away. Now everyone around town knew you were on the market, and men were drawn to your natural beauty and somewhat sassy attitude. 

Little did they know, you were hung up on the other Miller boy. 

“You let me know if you need me to talk to him,” He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, just reaches his right hand out to rest on your thigh, “Man to man.”

His hand is so warm, you feel it through your black leggings. He was almost always like a furnace, but it was okay, because you always ran cold. But every time he touched you, you felt that warmth trail up your arms and legs. He made you feel different. Every fiber of your being became electrified when he was around. It was a sensation you never noticed when you were with Tommy. You begin chalking it up to just being nervous because he was older and larger and… well, hotter. 

“Again, my hero,” you respond sarcastically, letting your hand rest on top of his. It makes him more confident, gently massaging that area. You watch as his hand creeps closer and closer to the crack between your legs. You practically gasp at the contact, but you catch yourself before you do, remembering there’s a child behind you. 

So you smack his hand away, shooting him a glare. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothin’ just… sorry.”

You didn’t want him to pull away, your leg already missing his touch, but you knew what would happen if you did stuff like that in front of Sarah. She’s a teenage girl. She’ll talk. It’ll find it’s way to someone’s ears. 

You wanted to act like you didn’t care if Tommy found out, but deep down you knew it would be a disaster. You didn’t feel like being the talk of the town. You didn’t feel like explaining yourself to Tommy. You didn’t feel like watching Joel deal with the flack from his family, especially his mother. 

If you two wanted to continue this… game… you would have to keep it secret. That included keeping it away from Sarah’s eyes and ears. You and Joel would just be friends. You would just be her aunt. That’s it. 

“Don’t apologize,” You whisper, “Just not here.”

You two let the radio take over the rest of the trip, occasionally chatting about a song or what the newscaster says about the weather. Once you get into Houston, it’s already 8:30 at night. Joel pulls into the parking garage to the Marriot and you already start craving the bed that awaits you inside. 

-

“I call the bed near the window!” Sarah throws her stuff down, jumping straight onto one the huge queen size duvet. The room was nice. A large television set catches your eye immediately, proving that this was probably an expensive room if they were giving you free cable tv. The curtains were open, giving a beautiful view of Houston’s skyline. 

One thing you notice, too, is the fact that there was only two beds. You knew this, but it still made your stomach sink a bit. 

You realize you three hadn’t discussed the sleeping situation. You didn’t care where you would sleep, honestly. You just knew Sarah was a restless one, having slept next to her in a tent when she was 9. Family camping trips entailed you, Tommy, Joel, and Sarah sharing a 6 person tent and being absolutely miserable the whole entire time. Between Tommy’s snores and Sarah practically flailing all around the tent at night, you remember not getting a lick of sleep. 

“Go get a shower, Sarah. We will figure out who’s sleeping where.”

She groans at Joel, like usual. 

“Dad!”

“Shower,” he throws his bag down on the ground near the dresser, “No arguin’.”

Sarah sulks, her bag in hand, straight to the bathroom by the front door. You don’t say anything. You just start following Joel’s lead by putting your bags down next to his. You stand a bit too close to him, waiting for him to say where you’d be sleeping.  

He clears his throat, “I will take the recliner, if you want the bed.”

“Of course I want the bed, but I don’t want you to have to sleep in the recliner.”

It makes him laugh, how matter-of-fact you are. 

You hear Sarah start up the shower. You wouldn’t have to fear she hears you and Joel talk about the possibility of sleeping with one another. Again.

“It’s not a big deal,” He explains, unzipping his bags to grab his pajamas, “Sleep on the couch all the time.”

“But you have a nice plush couch,” You gesture towards the hard and structured looking recliner, “That doesn’t look comfortable at all.”

For a girl who didn’t want Joel touching you in the car, you were practically begging him to sleep next to you in the big comfortable hotel bed. 

“So, where do you want me to sleep?”

“Just take the bed.”

“But you want the bed.”

You swallow, not even looking up at him, “We both can have the bed.”

He’s silent, gripping onto his sweatpants and t-shirt. He slowly looks down at you, his eyes carry a curious glint in them. You cock your head, giving him a mischievous smirk.

“You and Sarah?”

“No, you and Sarah.”

He groans, “You are a fuckin’ tease.”

You giggle, watching him brush pass you to position himself close to the closet. He opens the closet door, slipping in like he’s looking for something in there. 

“What are you doing?”

“Changin’.”

“In the closet?”

He grabs his shirt from the nape of his neck and pulls it off smoothly. You can’t peel your eyes away, partially seeing his right peck from how he’s standing. It was like the morning after having sex with him. Your eyes were glued to him, his tanned skin practically asking to be touched and licked. 

You horny bitch. 

“Joel, get out of the closet.”

He chuckles, “Why? You want me to give you a show?”

Why yes, I really do, Joel. You think to yourself. You hum a response, peeling your eyes away. You needed to find your pajamas, a pair of Nike sports shorts and a black tank top. Lately, you’ve been sleeping completely naked, but that was obviously not an option here. 

Sarah finally leaves the bathroom as soon as Joel slides his pants up. She has her hair wrapped in a towel, which makes you smile. She looked so grown up, it’s hard to believe you met her when she was 6 years old. You wordlessly walk into the bathroom, beginning to change your outfit for your sleep wear. You splash some cold water on your face, your cheeks still blushed from seeing Joel shirtless. 

You hear the door outside open and close. You peak out, your traveling clothes wrapped up in your arms. Joel stands in the middle of the room, fiddling with the remote for the TV. 

“Where did Sarah go?” You question, packing your clothes back into your duffle. 

“She wanted to go get ice from the ice machine,” He grumbles, “Said she wanted to see if any of her teammates were awake or nearby.”

“Is her whole team staying here?”

“Yeah, pretty much every team gets a floor. Last year it was a like a huge sleepover. Fuckin’ nightmare,” Joel mutters, flicking through different channels, before landing on some westerns. You smirk, deciding to plop down on one of the beds. As soon as you lay back, Sarah comes back in, bucket in hand. 

“Can I go stay in Amelia’s room? Her mom is there, just two doors down.”

Well that solves the bed problem. 

Joel rolls his eyes, you can tell he’s already annoyed. “Is Amelia’s mom okay with that?”

“You want to go talk to her? I promise Dad, we will get up at 5:30 like we need to. Pleas-”

“Let’s go talk to Amelia’s mom.”

You hear them leave the room without saying anything else. 

You were tired from a long day at work and the long drive. But some excitement blooms in your stomach when you realize it may just be you and Joel, all alone in a hotel room. 

Before you have time to ponder all the wonders that may be in store for you, Joel comes back with a frustrated huff. 

“She staying over there?”

“Yeah, Amelia’s mom said it was fine. Then she started askin’ who you were. Guess they saw us in the hotel lobby.”

Your stomach twists, nervous at what his response was.

“And?”

“Told her you were Sarah’s aunt. She gave me a weird look.”

“Great, now the soccer mom’s will be oogling me tomorrow.”

“Well they will anyway,” Joel responds, finding a spot next to you on the edge of the bed, “Single ones won’t leave me alone.” 

You know he’s really just seeing if you’ll get jealous. But you don’t play into his little game. You just let out a loud hearty laugh. 

“The ladies just love a Miller.”

He grumbles something inaudible, nudging you with his elbow. “You do, don’t ya?”

“Sure do.”

His face softens, his eyes flicking down to your lips. 

You grin, “She’s 14 and super goofy. Loves to play socc-”

“You’re truly testin’ me today, ain’t ya?”

You can’t help yourself at that point. The way he’s flirting only gives you more reason to taunt him. 

“Is Sarah seriously going to be gone from the room all night?”

“Yeah,” He nods, leaning back on his palms. He acts like he’s watching TV, ignoring your not-so-subtle hints that you want his eyes on you. 

“So, I can finally ask you why you think it’s okay to tease me in the car?”

“Don’t know what you’re on about, darlin’,” He smirks, he knows.

You tilt your head to the side, finally lifting your hand onto his lap. You immediately start toying with him the same way, your hand creeping towards his crotch. His eyes peel away from the TV. He watches you closely, his eyes trailing from your gaze down to your fingers dancing on his pant leg. 

“You put your hand on my thigh and started inching closer and cl-“

“Are you tryin’ to make a point or pose a question?”

He was getting annoyed with the games already. But you’d only just begun. 

“I’m just trying to explain how you can’t do things like that to me in front of Sarah,” You remark, flicking your eyelashes up to his glare, “Especially when you can’t finish it.”

“Who said I ain’t gonna?”

You huff, “Well here we are, all alone in a hotel room. No kiddo in sight. Still not touching me.”

“Don’t think you deserve it cause you’re a tease.”

“How am I a tease, Miller?”

“You exist and that’s enough. Walkin’ around in a tank top,” He gestures to your chest, “Just beggin’ to be touched.”

Your skin is set alight. The words go straight to your core. 

“Joel-“

You’re cut off. His hands work quickly, pulling you by the nape of your neck, right to his eager lips. You begin to realize you had been longing for this moment for so long. He couldn’t resist anymore, his whole body buzzing at the fact that he finally has you again. 

His lips are soft and slow as they make their way around yours. His hands eventually trail down to your butt, his hands cradling both cheeks. He lifts you forward, sliding you up and onto his lap. 

“Been wantin’ this for months, baby.” 

Butterflies erupt in the pit of your tummy. You can feel them travel up to your chest as you look down at him, his eyelids heavy and his lips pursed.  

He waited for you to respond to his calls, knowing you needed time. He needed to be patient. You would come around, he knew it. After months, here you are. 

He thinks back to every time he was touching himself late at night, he would imagine the night you two shared. Your soft curves and needy dripping pussy. It drove him wild imagining you like this again. 

“I think it’s been more than wantin’, Joel,” You grind down on his prominent bulge growing in his sweatpants, “Think you need it.”

He grins, finally getting out of his own head.

“Such a little tease, damn it.”

You lean down, mindlessly speckling kisses behind his ear and neck. Your boobs rest right in front of his face, and you’re right, he needs it. His hands leave your behind, reaching up to the straps of your tank top. He tugs them down your biceps, allowing your cleavage to spill out more. 

Your hands find his dark peppered curls at the nape of his neck, pulling downward. You needed him closer and he obliged. He starts to kiss your collarbones, wandering down to the swell of your breasts. You can feel yourself staining your sports shorts with anticipation. 

You rock your hips, craving more. He takes the hint, reaching back down to lift you from your ass. He switches spots, laying you on your back on the plush white duvet. He’s leaning over you now, which gives you a great view of how spent he looks already. His gray sweatpants are hanging lower, tenting where his cock has grown hard. 

He smirks, taking off his shirt the same way he did earlier. With one hand, it slips right over his head and onto the floor. 

“Jesus,” You huff out, using the time to remove your top, “I need you, Joel.”

The smirk never leaves his lips. He leans down, pushing your legs apart with his pointer and middle finger. You open up for him, wanting nothing more for him to dive into you in every possible way. You watch as he slides his fingers up your thigh, past the openings of your shorts. 

He realizes you aren’t wearing underwear. He sighs as he swipes the pads of his fingers across your wet slit. 

“I know you do,” He drawls, watching you writhe under his touch, “You need me as much as I need you.”

He practically tears off your shorts, not wasting any time fighting with the fabric. 

You adjust how your laying to accommodate him laying between your thighs. He lays down on his stomach, bringing your hips close to his mouth. You watch as he kisses your inner thighs, his breath hot fanning against your skin. 

You remember the last time you were in this position. You spent night after night remembering the best head you’ve ever gotten, from the one and only, Joel Miller. And you could tell Joel was not going to go another moment without making you cum on his tongue. 

When his tongue hits the top of your slit, you whine at the contact. He presses his face in, diving deeping into your lips. As soon as he finds your clit, he puts all his attention there. His nose is pressed against your mound as he hums against your sensitive bud. 

“Joel,” You cry, reaching down between your legs to grab the crown of his head, your hands lacing into his locks, “Right fuckin’ there.”

He continues his movements, only increasing in speed in which he flicks his tongue. He wraps his lips over the swollen area, sucking and lapping your sweetness. He pulls away, the slick between your thighs missing him instantly. He brings his fingers up to his mouth and wets them with saliva. He glances up at your completely dazed face. 

“‘M gonna fuck you with my fingers first,” His voice is deep and hushed, “Make you cum. You gonna cum for me like a good girl?”

You don’t even know where it comes from. But you say it with your chest.

“Yes, Daddy.”

You never expected the moan to come out of his mouth. It’s deep and guttural. He couldn’t believe his ears, and he can’t believe the words came from your mouth. His good girl? That fuckin’ flithy?

He slips his fingers into you without resistance. His mouth finds it’s way back to your core, fucking you in unison. 

You reach up to your chest, cradling your own boobs. Joel’s still only in sweatpants but they are riding low on his hips. As he’s giving you his all, he’s grinding his hips into the bed, trying to get whatever friction he can. Watching the motion alone is driving you wild, sending your hips rotating on his tongue. You knew the release was coming, you could feel it in your fingertips. 

And when it comes, it’s like fireworks inside your stomach and chest. You lurch forward, crying out his name. You knew it was probably way too loud for the thin hotel walls, but you couldn’t help yourself. The orgasm sends stars speckling across your vision. 

Joel fucks you through the comedown. You are the hottest thing he’s ever laid eyes on, he thinks. When your body rests back, you’re panting, trying to ground yourself for a second. Joel pulls his fingers out and sucks each digit. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” You mewl, reaching out for him. You just need to touch him. 

He shimmies his sweatpants down and off his legs. He’s sitting back on his knees, smiling down at your desperate eyes. He crawls on top of you, his dick prodding at your thighs. He leans down, trapping your lips into another longing kiss. His hands trail down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pulls back after a couple seconds, gazing into your eyes. 

“You still on that birth control?”

You hum in response. 

“Need me to pull out still?”

You smirk, lacing your arms around his shoulders, “No. Need you to cum inside me.”

He shakes his head, sitting back to line himself with your entrance.

“My dirty girl,” He runs his cock head between your swollen red lips, triggering your hips to move closer to him, “You drive me insane.”

“Come on, Joel. I’ve been waiting for ages for you to fuck me. Need you. Now.”

He chuckles darkly, still not giving you what you want. “Waiting ages, huh?”

“Joelllll,” You beg, smacking his chest, “Please.”

“Mmm,” He pushes forward just enough to relieve your ache, “Love it when you beg for it.”

He practically splits you open when he snaps his hips. You both groan simultaneously, unable to hold back this sick fantasy you’re both playing into. You feel more full than you ever did before. You don’t remember it hurting this good. 

“Holy fuck,” you whine, “So fucking full, Joel.”

He slowly pulls back, “You tell me if it’s too much, ‘kay?”

You shake your head, throwing your head back as he sets a cautious pace. He’s watching all your facial expressions, making sure he’s not hurting you. You wince when he starts to pick up the pace, which causes him to halt completely. 

“No,” You plead, “More. Faster. Please, just please.”

He says nothing, just pushes up your thighs so the back of them are flush with the front of his. He leans over you, his elbows on each side of your head. He grinds into you while his dark curls fall into your face. You tilt your head up, finding the crook of his neck again. 

His cock felt so good dragging in out of you. You felt like you could stay in this position forever. You molded so perfectly around him. He treated you like this beautiful mural, taking his time with delicate strokes. His hands wrapped around the back of your head, holding you in the curve of his body.

You latch your lips onto his neck, peppering lovebites everywhere. You didn’t even think about if they could be seen later. In the moment, you only thought of him as yours. He was yours and everyone would fucking know it. 

He’s starting to get more greedy. He pulls back, his warmth moving away from your perked up nipples. His upper body the best view you could get, so you couldn’t complain too much. He grabs behind your knees, using them as leverage as he starts to pound into you. 

Your eyes meet and for fuck’s sake, he’s perfect. You never knew you could see Joel Miller like this. Like someone who fucked you so good, but also cared so tenderly for you. He wanted to see you in the throws of pleasure, not even worrying about when he’d get his rocks off. He got his rise out of seeing how much you enjoyed yourself.

His ravenous drive to bring you to the edge is causing the headboard to slam against the wall which each stroke. He brings his left hand up to your bouncing tits, grabbing your nipple and tugging on it. He knew what touching your boobs did to you. He remembers watching your visceral reactions to him toying with them before. It brings a smile to his face. 

“I’m gonna-”

You don’t even finish your sentence, you just gasp as you feel his cock head hit the deepest parts of you. A place no other man has made it to. 

“I don’t want anyone else,” He musters out, his teeth clenching as your pussy restricts around him. He means it. He may be drunk on you, but he feels those words down to his bones. “I only ever want this.”

It was never just about the sex. Joel cared for you. Fuck, maybe he even loved you. 

You swallow, propping yourself up on your elbows. You glance down, watching his cock slip so perfectly, in and out of you. 

“I’m yours, Joel,” You manage to peep out before the orgasm you’ve been holding back builds to a maddening point, “I’m yours.”

The words make his cock twitch. He can’t help himself, he needs you to cum right this very moment. He doesn’t say anything, just unhooks your legs and uses his right hand to put pressure on your clit. Tears start to prick in your eyes as he lazily rubs circles, humming in satisfaction. He feels you tightening up, he knows your close. 

Your vision goes white. You body starts to vibrate, the pure bliss he’s sending you into takes you to a whole other dimension. You want more. More. More. More. 

As he watches you seize up, he can’t resist his own orgasm. The explosion sends him into a moaning mess. He fucks into you, painting your walls with his cum, not letting a drop go to waste. 

He collapses on top of you. You don’t even care, you feel like jello anyway, he could melt right into you.

He rolls off after a minute. 

You always miss him when he’s not near you. 

You stare at the ceiling, pondering the right words to say to him. Nothing comes to mind. He gets up, walking naked to the bathroom. He grabs a rag from the shelf above the toilet, running it under some warm water. 

When he returns, you let him clean all around your body. You make sure he doesn’t wipe away the wet kisses he left all over you, though. 

“You okay?”

You finally look at him. 

You want to say yes, because you were okay. Physically. But your heart wanted to pulsate out of your chest. 

“I will be,” You state simply, “Just tired.”

He slowly starts grabbing all your articles of clothing off the floor, dressing you once he collects all of them. He’s careful with you. Gentle. 

“Do you want to sleep in the same bed?”

The question rings in your ears. Of course you did. 

“As long as you get up at the ass crack of dawn and move before Sarah comes in.”

He chuckles, pulling his sweatpants back over his waist. He doesn’t even bother to put on his shirt.

“Will do, baby.”

-

When you wake up, you realize the overheard light flickered on. You contort your sleep dazed body, Joel’s upper body practically laying over you. You try to blink the haze out of your eyes, but your tired mind is completely shocked when you see an outline of a girl. 

Shitshitshitshitshit.

You fling your body upward, rattling Joel awake. He’s startled, his arms flinging off of you. 

“I knew it!” Her voice is piercing. “I knew it! Holy shit!”

“Sar-”

“Are you two dating? Or are you just… wait, ew!”

She’s rambling, her words clashing together in confusion. Your heart is about to hammer out of your chest. 

“Sarah, we aren’t dating,” You declare, your voice shaking. 

“But you’re sleeping together?”

You could cut the silence with a sword. It’s so thick and awkward. 

A 14 year old girl shouldn’t know you’re sleeping with her Dad. Let alone walk in after you spent all night tangled up in him. 

“Sarah,” Joel’s voice is buttery and raspy after he wakes up. You hold the comforter up to your chest. You had your tank top on, but it hangs so low on you, you don’t want to risk anything. “Grab your uniform, get dressed. We can talk about this later.”

“Does Uncle To-”

“Sarah! Stop!”

It scares you since it’s so close to your ear. His voice changes so abruptly, it makes you cringe a bit. 

Hearing the question from Sarah’s lips makes you feel queasy. Having the girl who you always considered your niece ask if her uncle knew you were sleeping with her dad... God what a fucking mess. 

You watch her storm across the room, grabbing her backpack and race to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

Joel groans next to you as he slams back into the plush pillows. 

“She will be fine. We will talk about it later,” Joel says under his breath. 

You open your mouth but nothing comes out. 

You hadn’t thought much of this through. Ever since you and Joel first slept together, you pushed your harbored feelings to the side. Sometimes they creep in, which would send you into a panic. Because deep down, you knew you felt something for Joel. Something you hadn’t felt since you first started dating Tommy. Maybe even ever. It was exciting. He made you feel special. After everything he said to you last night, you knew he possessed some similar emotions and feelings.  

You felt crazy for believing this could work. 

You knew this would be complicated. Now Sarah is involved. How do you explain these emotions to a child? You don’t. 

You think about all the horrible outcomes to this situation. Tommy wanting to fight Joel. His mom never accepting you back into the family. Who knows, maybe Sarah gets so upset at the situation, she never treats you the same again. 

But then you think about Joel. How he’s a night and day difference to what Tommy was to you. He wore his emotions on his sleeve. He wanted to protect you. He wanted to take care of you every chance he could. 

You start to think back to the times when you were still with Tommy. Joel defended you when you two had a blowout fight. He always made sure to have a watchful eye on you when you all went out to bars. He was even there when you graduated college, giving you a bouquet of beautiful daises he swore up and down Sarah picked out. But you knew the truth. Joel loved daisies. He even had his Mom plant some in his front yard last year. 

You were just so scared. You didn’t want to be hurt again. You did not want your feelings to be wrong. 

You glance down at him, your back still turned. He could read your face, he knew you were overthinking everything. Your mind was working overtime, trying to muster up some excuse to run away and forget everything that happened between you two. There was nothing normal about this situation. 

But fuck, you both really wanted it. So bad. You couldn’t keep lying to yourself. 

His hand creeps up your back, resting a reassuring palm on your aching shoulder. 

“Stop thinkin’ for a minute,” he whispers, “You don’t need to make any decisions right this minute. We will just take it one second at a time. Ain’t no way ‘m lettin’ you go. I want you here.”

You didn’t know if he meant here in general or in the figurative sense. 

He meant it both ways. 

Maybe it was crazy, but that feeling was deep in your chest. This palpable inkling that this could evolve into you being his. 

This being more than sex? More than a crush?

Being Joel’s sounded like a fever dream.

He wanted nothing more but to wrap you up into his arms, hold you and kiss your head, reassuring you that you two can figure it out together. But instead, Sarah walks out in her soccer uniform, squashing the moment. She stands in front of the bed, finally making eye contact with you. 

“You guys gonna get up and watch me kick ass, or are you gonna to lay in bed all day?”

You smile at her. You silently prayed this girl would stay in your life forever.

“I know my answer.”

Joel smiles, “’s go kick some ass.”

-

again thank you for reading!! let me know your thoughts!

find part 1 and 2 here!

#how long #joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller the last of us #the last of us #pedro pascal #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #gracieheartspedro #joel miller tlou #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #joel tlou #tommy miller #joel last of us smut #joel the last of us #tlou gifs

[soubi122]

How Long? - Part 5

Warning! Manipulation, mentions of pregnancy, thoughts of baby trapping, fear, angst, anxiety, possessive Ran.

Three more chapters left!

Last Flight

Sitting on the cold floor reminded you of how much you hated this feeling. The feeling of falling, the feeling of fear, panic and helplessness. “Pack your things…” Ran repeated his words with less enmity. It was supposed to be a relief but he made you feel just the opposite. You didn’t know whether or not he’d lose it again. 

Packing a carry-on with the essentials, you bid your home a silent farewell, not sure if you’d even make it back alive. This was the one place you thought no one would find you. On the complete opposite end of the country, in a small town and away from the city - you were free. Free to live your life quietly and peacefully, away from the blood, turf wars, drugs and sleazy men and women. It was a good two and half years.

The drive to the hotel was quiet, as much as the scene was to die for, you couldn't help but feel anxious. Ran kept his hand on your thigh, almost as if he was afraid that you’d jump out of the car at any moment. A little paranoid, no? 

When you arrived at the hotel, you could see the woman at the front desk straighten up and unbutton the top two buttons of her blouse. She had no idea what this man was capable of. Her pretty smile dropped when she saw you come up from behind Ran. “Welcome back sir. Did you find what you were looking for?” She asked while fluttering her expensive lashes. He waved her off and proceeded to call the elevator. Ran didn’t even look in her direction and it made the woman pout. If only he could have been like this to all the women when he was taken. Perhaps you should have let her take him, he might have actually proven you right - once a cheater always a cheater. 

Opening the door to his room, you were met with an abundance of papers and maps. This looked like the room of a serial killer or a conspiracy theorist. He proceeded to throw away all the scattered materials and packed his belongings. While waiting, you built up the courage to speak. “Ran, I will book a hotel when we land.” You say with hopes of him understanding. “No, it’s safer if you stay with me.” He said without even looking at you, he was adamant about not letting you go. “I think it’s best not to draw any attention, I don’t want anyone to start investigating and potentially endanger Bonten.” It was a valid argument, with Bonten being under constant surveillance and with you being dead, it made sense to stay away temporarily. “I don’t care, you’re not-” He began to protest but you cut him off with two reasons that made his blood run cold. “I’m dead, remember? Besides, Mikey will really kill me if Bonten gets involved in my murder investigation.” Shit, you were right. You were always right. With a heavy sigh, Ran drooped his shoulders in defeat. “Promise me you’ll let me stay somewhere else.” It was hard to say yes to that question. He wanted to keep you with him, what if you decide to run away again? What if someone recognizes you? However, you evaded him and everyone else for 3 years - you must already know how to avoid detection. “I promise.”

After checking out of the hotel and dropping off the rental, you and Ran were waiting at the airport for the flight to commence boarding. Many couples strolled by, many were on their honeymoon or returning from a family vacation and had kids with them. Seeing and hearing how these couples interacted with each other, it made you nauseous. Especially while sitting next to the man that single handedly destroyed your life. This could have been you and Ran if he wouldn’t have cheated on you. The thought of having a child with him broke your heart. Biting back the tears in your eyes, you looked down at your cell phone, pretending to have gotten a notification or some sort. You knew what life was like with him, but how would have it been if he stayed loyal, would you be raising a child now or would you be the wife of a man who has several mistresses? The thoughts were eating away at you and Ran could tell that you were beginning to fidget in your seat. 

“Now boarding flight 757 to Tokyo. Now boarding flight 757 to Tokyo - Narita Airport.” The woman on the intercom said. Thank goodness - you couldn’t stand a second more of this awkward silence between you and Ran. The flight was about 3 hours long, luckily Ran had gotten decent seats but oh how the gods love to fuck with you. A couple with a baby was seated in front of you, the baby looked to be about 1 year old and their chubby little cheeks made your heart melt. They were considered a lap passenger so the baby was in the couples’ arms at all times. You could tell that they were first time parents.

The plane was in the air and your journey back to Tokyo began. During the flight, you remained quiet and avoided any conversation with Ran or the flight attendants. Mid flight the baby began to cry, however, the mom was not there. The flight attendant returned to inform the father that the wife was in the bathroom pumping. You could kind of see the panic in the father’s face as they weren’t used to having the baby cry. He would turn around and look back to see if the mother was coming back but she was still pumping in the bathroom. The neighboring passengers were getting a little irate about the baby’s continuous cries. 

“Remind me to get first class tickets next time.” Ran mumbled under his breath, he too was getting annoyed. Of course, those who have never dealt with children will have zero patience with them or anybody else. Seeing how he would grip his thighs or message his temples - he was slowly losing it. As someone who had friends that were nursing, you knew pumping could take 15-20 minutes. Just as Ran was about to open his mouth, you stood up and crossed over him, surprising him - just what the hell were you doing?

Lightly tapping on the man’s shoulder you asked if he needed any help with the baby. “Oh, she’s just hungry - her mother should be back shortly.” He said sheepishly, but you could see the pink blush on his face from being flustered and embarrassed. He didn’t know what to do. The baby’s sudden wailing made the father even more flustered. “May I?” You asked and extended your arms for the baby. The man handed the baby over to you, you positioned the baby against your chest and had their little head rest on your shoulder. Softly patting the baby’s thigh and setting them - the sound of your heartbeat and rhythmic movements helped to calm the baby down. The soothing patting went in sync with your heartbeat. It’s all about the angle and rhythm - “T-Thank you so much. ” The father said and smiled. It was the first time he'd seen someone other than his wife put the baby to sleep. 

The movements and patting was also soothing to you. For a moment, you forgot where you were and who was by you. Ran's eyes never left you, he saw how you handled the baby so gently and just how powerful a woman could be in moments like this. The smile on your face was warm and delicate like the morning sun. That baby in your arms was lucky to be held against your chest, to be held in the arms of a loving and beautiful woman. 

Warmth began to blossom inside of his chest. Seeing you like this, with a child in your arms… It made him want to plant his seed, let it take root and grow in your womb. He knew you'd nurture and care for it, a beautiful little boy or girl would be born out of love. They'd be surrounded by two loving parents and uncles who would treat them like one of their own. Ran was starting to imagine how you'd be while decorating a nursery with a swollen belly and a smile on your face. A real smile… 

"Umm…excuse me." The sound of the mother's voice snapped both you and Ran out of your little bubbles. "Oh, I'm sorry - it just looked like he really needed help." You say softly. Once the mother handed over the pump and bottles to her husband, you began to hand over the child to her. "Here's your little one back." She smiled and thanked you for helping them. You excused yourself and took your seat next to Ran. The flight attendant came over to thank you for stepping in and also to thank you on behalf of the other passengers. It doesn’t really take much to be kind.

Ran slowly tried to reach out to hold your hand but was reminded of the very hands that were wrapped around your neck. He stopped himself midway before you could notice. The solemn look on your face made him regret his actions. If things didn't pan out the way they did, perhaps you'd be leaning against his shoulder and touching your belly - signaling that it was time. He truly wanted to be happy with you. Perhaps there was a way to keep you here with him, permanently...

The flight continued in silence between you two. Once the plane landed and passengers were allowed to exit, the couple turned around and thanked you once more. The baby made cooing noises and smiled, she looked happy. Such innocence and bliss - it made you subconsciously rub your belly. This didn't go unnoticed by Ran. Maybe there was a chance to change your futures after all. Just maybe he can try to smooth things over with you after you meet up with everyone, they might just welcome you with open arms and - wait…that’s not how they’d react. Reality hit him square in the face, you faked your death and went into hiding with help of Bonten’s leader. Traitors were subjected to severe punishment. Negotiating the terms of punishment will be his priority. He will still try his best to make this work, you said you loved him after all, right? Did you really mean it?

Stepping foot back into Tokyo was hard. You’d grown used to the quiet and sounds of the ocean, it was much more soothing than the sound of cars, trains and people. Putting on a face mask, you hid your face from the crowds - remember, you're dead after all. 

You and Ran made your way through security and headed to the parking lot where his car was. When the garage attendant greeted him, he paused for a brief moment, blinking and taking a second look at you. “What space is my car parked in?” Ran asked with a curt tone, the fact that someone else was staring at you made him rather irate. “Oh, space 13 sir.” The attendant bowed and handed the keys over. Ran took the keys and didn't even say thank you as he walked away, you bowed to thank the man and followed Ran. "You're in a pissy mood…" You pointing out the obvious wasn't needed. 

As he drove down the highway, you began checking for hotels that had availability, you didn't want to stay in the same living space with Ran. "Can you drop me off at this hotel? I want to rest before meeting everyone." For a moment everything went silent, you were a fool to think that he would let you stay somewhere else. "You're not staying at a hotel, you're coming home with me…" He chuckles and places a hand on your thigh. This was not part of the agreement. "You said-" You began to protest when he cut you off. "I can't let my wife stay somewhere else when she has a perfectly good home to come to." What the hell did he just call you? "I'm not your wife, Ran." You corrected him, you never signed papers or said 'I do' to each other, he had no right to call you that. He squeezed your thigh a little, his fingertips were starting to dig into your skin and make you flinch. 

"Please, just stay with me…" The importunate tone made you uneasy. Ran was beginning to crack. Sighing in defeat, you nodded your head and muttered an 'ok'. He was quick to put a smile back on his face. It was rather naive of you to expect him to keep his promise. It was hard not to think of all the things that took place in the city you once called home. You wondered if home was going to look the same or if he changed everything. Did he keep your things, throw them out, sell them or give them away to his playthings? There was no use in thinking about it, it’s been 3 years. His tears and sincerity hinted at him truly regretting his actions. “Ran…I need you to be honest with me.” You begin to say as you stare out the window. He hummed in response. “Do you truly love me or do you hate the fact that you lost me? That you were not the one to end things? Or that I didn’t bend to your will?” The question made him slow down the car, just enough to drag out the drive home. Why the sudden bombardment of questions? 

The harsh questions swirled around his head like a maelstrom. Was it his ego that was bruised and not his heart? No…he loved you, he truly loved you. Ran remained silent, he didn’t know what to say in order for you to believe him. His silence spoke volumes to you, you knew he was struggling to find the answer. “Can I show you when we get home?” He said while keeping his eyes on the road. If he’d turn around to face you, he knew he’d stop the car to claim you. Perhaps Ran had a fetish for your love, regardless of his actions - you pushed him out of your life and he came right back for you. When you spotted the building that you once called home, it made a knot in your stomach - you hoped to never see this place again. 

Parking his car in the underground parking lot, he cut the engine and turned to look at you. He could see that your hands were trembling, this place brought back bitter memories and he was the cause of them all. “Let’s go, my love.” Ran said with a sickening warm tone and exited the car. Once he closed the door, you inhaled deeply, pausing for five seconds and exhaling, preparing yourself for what awaited you. 

Taking the elevator to the top floor, you felt your knees almost give out. The scent of hydraulic oil made you nauseous, there is nothing quite like home, huh? The sound of the elevator dinging made your heart beat faster. You were getting closer and closer to the hell hole you were living in while he did his deeds. Each step taken felt like your feet were in quicksand, your legs felt heavy and struggled to keep up with Ran’s long legs. 

Once Ran opened the door, the faint smell of tobacco and sandalwood perforated your nostrils. You were surprised he kept it clean, since you were the one to pick up after him and clean the house - he’s never done housework before. Walking in, you take a look around and notice that he’s changed everything. The walls were painted, the furniture was different, the dining table was gone and even his dishes were different. “It um, looks so different.” You whisper and set your things down by the entrance. “Rindou tried his best.” He said while scratching the back of his neck.

When you were gone, Rindou threw all your things out against Ran’s orders. He couldn’t handle seeing his older brother lose himself over a dead woman that he claimed he felt nothing for when he was out cheating. Rindou hired interior designers to renovate Ran’s home. However, he was unsuccessful with renovating the master bed and bath. The interior designers were threatened with a pistol to their temples if they even walked into those rooms. Aniki…you need to fucking let it go. Rindou would say it over and over again, but Ran refused. 

This didn’t feel like home and you were glad, it was a stranger’s home afterall. “I shouldn’t be here.” You say and take a step back but Ran wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. “Come on, let’s rest and then we can go see everyone else.” He whispered in your ear. It gave you chills, this felt like a trap. 

“Ran, please…I can’t.” You whimpered and felt the tears well in your eyes. Trepidation began to rattle your nerves. Everything began to get blurry as your heart pounded in your chest. He began to guide you to his bedroom while still holding you from behind. When he opened the door and your eyes scanned the room, you felt a pang in your chest. The bedroom remained the same. Your once shared bed, the dressers, nightstands and photos remained the same as the day you left. “Welcome home, (Y/N).” 

END

Tags:

@rinrinfoxy @mor-pheus @no-signal  @namelessnikki2 @gabi-moureira @spookys-s @slvtmeow @jinii-desu @mmmaaannnsssiii @3xchooo @kokotakeomi @no-name-jack @barriesandcrem @reidsmexyconverse @waterfallsdown @1980losersliveinme @gabytodd @simp4ren @fffsksixj @whatsonthemirror @jcrml @reiners-milkbiddies @unr-u-1y @bakugosgf2005  @whoisneth  @bluephoenix908  @asmosslut @laurenzitaa @uniqueeggtoast @arlertsbaby 

#tokyo revengers #tokyorevengers #ran haitani #bonten ran #bonten ran haitani #angst #ran angst #ran haitani angst #haitani ran #haitani ran angst #angst fanfic #tokyo revengers angst #how long #fanfic #tokyo revegeners fanfic #how long part 5 #almost over

[starfirexuchiha]

Happy Shuake 2/2 day 🥲

I made an MMD video for it. To see the full video with audio, watch it in youtube below! ⬇️

#MMD credits are all in the youtube video #shuake #akeshu #goro akechi #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #persona 5 royal #p5 royal #2/2 #帰ろう、僕らの現実に #Youtube #MMD #mikumikudance #how long

[finleyforevermore]

I want to cover musical songs with my friends!!! :D

Only problem: I don't know...how to...do...that-

#hadestown #how long #chant ii #chant (reprise) #chant reprise #ride the cyclone #rtc #rtc musical #the uranium suite

[preposterousgreen]

Canonically, Angeal is a firm believer in leftovers. Food waste is a terrible thing and should be reduced wherever possible. His freezer is a veritable shrine to the idea of cooking up a big batch of food and portioning it out for reheating when needed. The thought of the compressor dying and taking that hoard of edible treasure with it scares him...

But nothing makes him break out in a cold sweat quite like Zack mentioning that he ate or is going to eat leftovers.

#how long has that been in your fridge zack #HOW LONG #shitpost #headcanon #angeal hewley #zack fair #crisis core #final fantasy vii

[kelppsstuff]

I think I know how I want to end this series but you guys play an important roll in how this will end. I love involving you guys in my works and I thought this would be a great way to involve you guys!

Also I have people wanting to be in the tag list for pt2 so if you’d like to be in it please comment and let me know.

With love kelp 💛

Part one

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #masterlist #adam hazbin hotel #adam is actually hilarious #adam x reader #x reader #hazbin lucifer #lucifer #how long

[saturnisscreaming]

Realistically how long do you think it would take you to realize you were in a time loop?

#cryptic #cryptid #cryptidcore #monstercore #weirdcore #time #time loop #questions #hypothetical #weird core #strangecore #strange core #a question #how long #time loops #horror #mild horror #horror content #horror concept #weird vibes #im curious #i think it would take me a very long time. #like three weeks in and id be all wow ive had a lot of deja vue lately #also i never remember what i tell people so i couldbt even rely on that #what about you? #creepy #weird questions #curious #please tell me #i want to know so bad

[endlessmidnights]

Do you ever wonder how long it’d take someone to find you?

#tw sui talk #tw sui ideation #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw sucidal ideation #mentally drained #mentally fucked #anxitey #sorry for being depressing #i hate me so much #depressing shit #mental problems #mental health #imma kms #time to kms #how long #please let me kms #mentally exhausted #mental breakdown #please let me die #i wish i was kidding #i wish i was dead #i wish i was making this up #i want to disappear #tw depression #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #tw sui implied #suicudal #tw relaspe

[yeisythebear]

Shopping?

#welcomehome #welcome home puppet show #welcome home #art #digital art #welcome home oc #welcomehomeoc #poppy partridge #How long #I havent posted- #I been reading stuff and getting distracted #ahahhasdkah

[musicalresolution]

Round 1 H Match 4

Propaganda under the cut

Vivre Á En Crever

um so mozart is dying and he decides to sing a gay duet with his supposed arch-enemy while his wife be standing there

gay transgneder sparkles. also just really pretty idk i don't have anything intelligent to say

How Long

it's hard to stand out in hadestown, with its incredible soundtrack, but the more i relisten the more i love this song.

seeing it in person is when i understood what this whole 'power of true names' thing was about. those actors were evoking something more than each other and themselves when they sang to each other. gave me fuckin goosebumps.

This song is *earth-shaking*. Please listen to it.

#round 1 #musical theater #mozart l'opera rock #hadestown musical #hadestown #vivre á en crever #how long

[anxiousdragoncollector]

How long?

How long were people gonna let me live my life thinking the line was

"You can dance, you can die, having the time of your life"

How long

When was somebody tell me it was "Jive"

I only know this now because of subtitles

#abba #dancing queen #how long #i feel lied to

[i-hear-a-sound]

pov you’re paula toledo 20 years ago

#paula toledo #how long #how long will it take #hlwit #lostwave #ugly cried to this on a first listen btw.like. till it hurt bad

[soubi122]

How Long? - Part 3

Hello everyone, it's been awhile but I am finally putting part 3 up. I hope you enjoy it! :)

This part takes place when Y/N asked for permission to leave Bonten.

Warnings: gun, mentions of murder, alcohol, smut, self harm, hurt to comfort, MDNI!!

Love Fool

Mikey pulled the pistol away from you and cupped your cheek, tilting your head up to see your glossy orbs - he was having a hard time deciding what to do. “You deserve better, angel.” He said as he swiped his thumb over your cheeks, wiping away your tears. Hearing those words and the display of sincerity made you break. You began to sob uncontrollably and clutched your chest. The throbbing pain of heartbreak was wrecking you mentally and physically. It was an image that Mikey couldn’t get over, he recalls a friend who bawled his eyes out in front of him several times. Those who show you their true feelings are worth protecting. He was the only person who provided some sort of comfort, though it’s minimal, it was enough to make your heart ache. Mikey placed a hand on your shoulder, “If you want to disappear, I can help you but it will take some time - you’ll be set free. Are you willing to do everything I say without question?” You were surprised at his response. Bonten had a strict policy about letting people go without repercussions, but to think that Mikey would bend the rules for a woman? It was unheard of. Your desperation made it easy to say yes. 

That same night he brought you to his home and you were only allowed to leave the room at night - when there were no prying eyes or ears. He was often dropped off home by Sanzu but never had company stay longer than an hour or two. “Mikey, do you have an extra futon?” You asked as walked you to his home. He lived in a one bedroom condo and had only one bathroom. “You’re sleeping on my bed, I will sleep on the couch - I’m rarely here anyways.” Setting your duffle bag on the floor, you got on your knees and bowed to him - “Thank you for everything, Mikey.” The light chuckle that escaped his lips made you look up, confused plastered all over your face. It’s the first time you’ve heard him laugh. “It’s ok, enough with the gratitude. You’re my guest. Anything you want, just ask me.” You didn’t ask for much, your needs were basic, food, water, shelter - nothing more and nothing less. In the upcoming weeks, you spent the days roaming his bedroom, tossing and turning - trying hard not to think about Ran. But when you are left by yourself, your thoughts tend to wander and never fail to go back to him. It was difficult not to think about him when you had spent years living with him, sharing the same space and sharing the same bed. Often, Mikey could hear your snuffles behind the door at night. You tried to not be more of a burden to him by keeping quiet, the last thing he wanted was to hear someone crying over a broken heart. There were times where your skin would feel Ran’s touch linger and it made you sick. Baths were long, trying to wash him off your skin felt like trying to erase a tattoo with soap and water. He was still there, the itch and burning sensations wouldn’t cease no matter how long you sat soaking in the water. Mikey turned a blind eye to you wearing baggy clothing with long sleeves almost everyday, even when the condo was warm enough to roam in shorts. 

The days and nights were hard when Mikey wasn’t home. He was your only distraction from the world and a distraction from Ran. Though he rarely spent days in, you were grateful when he spared the time to talk to you and check up on you. On a few occasions you had to hide in his room when Sanzu or Kokonoi would come over to discuss business. Hearing their voices made you want to cry. Recalling the night that they were all there with Ran, it made your chest hurt. Sanzu would sometimes be a little too loud about certain affairs. As much as you tried not to pry or eavesdrop, it was almost impossible when Ran’s name was mentioned. Mikey knew what he was doing - he wanted you to know what Ran was up to. He wanted for you to stand firm and not falter in the future, to grow and move past Ran’s affairs. He wanted for you to see that it was a mistake that you were lucky enough to rid yourself of before tying the knot. It would have been much worse had you two exchanged vows and taken his name. Though it was hurting you, Mikey was doing this for your own good. After Mikey’s guests would leave, he would find you curled up under the blankets, with tear stained cheeks and soft sniffles. Something about seeing you in this broken state made him ease up on his plans. He didn’t want to push you too far.

“Are you ok, angel?” He would say and place a hand on your head. Softly petting you and soothing your broken heart. “I don’t know how long I can do this Mikey…when he comes to mind, I feel like I’m going to lose it.” Those words were enough to send shivers down Mikey’s spine. You were teetering on the edge - just the slightest touch would be enough to push you over the edge. “Just one more month and it will be ready. Are you prepared to start your new life? No matter what the cost?” His question made you sit up. Those eyes that looked like an infinite void began to show a glimmer of light. “What do you mean?” You asked him while wiping your tears. Mikey explained the plan to you, the cadaver, the cover up, the news outlets that would report on your so-called death. Everything was perfect, he just needed one more month to find a woman who resembled you. 

“Mikey, I can’t let you do that.” You say and cupped his cheeks. The sudden action took him by surprise. He was not expecting you to get this close, he was not expecting for you to come to him, though it was to try and put a stop to his carefully calculated plan. “You agreed to do as I say…your hands will remain clean.” The entire night you spent going back and forth with him, in the end the pros outweigh the cons. He was right, you had no other choice but to die in order to escape Tokyo, to escape Bonten and more importantly…to escape Ran. To keep you distracted from the guilt, he allowed you to roam his condo at any time with no restrictions. He gave you access to his credit card to buy whatever you wanted, an account that was not under Kokonoi’s supervision. Though you refused to take it, he still left it with you so that you could take it with you when you leave. Visits were no longer made to Mikey’s home by the other executives/admins. No one questioned him, it wasn’t odd for him to refuse company. 

Little by little, you were finding things to do on your own time with his permission. An interest in baking and making coffee bloomed within you after watching too many DIY’s and creative food videos. You begged Mikey to buy an espresso machine for you to tinker with. The glow in your eyes was impossible for him to ignore. What more could he ask for? You were starting to stand on your own two feet, your aborred feelings for Ran were starting to nullify and you were numb to the sound of his name. 

The strong smell of coffee perforated his nostrils when he reached his front door. Often Mikey would come home to a mess in his kitchen, there would be cups and mugs everywhere on his kitchen table. Trays of baked goods lined the counters and sandwiches would also be lined up for him to taste. He couldn’t help but smile knowing that you were behind that door waiting for him with a cup of coffee or espresso in hand for him to try. As much as he disliked coffee - he’d grown fond of the taste and associated with you. You both were opening up a little more to each other. Mikey was getting used to your presence, he was getting used to your laugh, your smiles and your warmth. Often you would lay your head on his lap when you were feeling down. He would pet your head and it eased your thoughts, putting you to sleep as if you were a puppy or a kitten. It was a dangerous game he was playing, would he really be able to resist your alluring nature? Many times he would sleep in the office to avoid getting too attached to you. The threads were slowly fraying and he was finding it hard to balance mercy and desire.

One day when you were steaming milk, you weren’t paying attention and ended up getting burned by the steam wand. Your yelp caught Mikey’s attention and he dashed towards you. “What happened? Are you ok?” He asked as you showed him your hand - it was red and tender. “I burned myself, but I’m ok.” You said as he takes your hand runs room temp/cool water over the injury, making sure not to irritate it. Without a second thought, he brought your hand to his lips, giving it a light peck. Your face went bright red, your brain short circuited and you bit your lip. “I was always told that kisses make the other person feel better.” The innocence in his words made your heart skip a beat. What was wrong with you? Why is he making you feel this way? He holds your life in his hands, he can end it at any moment and you were fawning over an innocent gesture? “T-Thanks Mikey…it feels better already.” You say while looking down and taking your hand back. He brought you some ointment and lightly applied it over the burn, him touching your hand again was making your chest sting. 

A few days after that incident, you were careful not to get too close to Mikey. Though you missed the warmth and welcoming aura that Mikey gave off, something changed and he noticed it. Thinking that he overstepped his boundaries, he stayed out a few nights. You called but he only responded saying he’s busy. On day four of his absence, you texted him from the burner cell he provided you, but instead of texting back - he called. Bonten was out on a company dinner and there was a lot of background noise. “Hey Mikey, are you coming home soon? I have a few things I’d like to-” You were cut off by a loud laugh, his laugh. You could hear Ran in the background with another woman, they were all there - it felt as if he really had no remorse or regard for your absence. “Sorry angel, you were saying?” Mikey said quietly but the line went dead. 

You ended the call and felt a sharp pain in your chest, you began struggling to breathe and it felt as if all those times where you were in misery - he was in heaven with other women. Ran continued his affairs with no ounce of guilt. Collapsing to the floor, you began to sob uncontrollably. The sound of Ran’s voice echoed in your ears, though it was close to three months of no contact, you were starting to forget what he sounded like…until now. You felt sick, the sensation of his touch began to feel like an itch that wouldn’t go away no matter how much you scratched. Running to the kitchen, you began frantically searching for something, anything that would take the edge off. When you found the hidden liquor cabinet, you dove head first into a bottle of whiskey that burned like acid as it made its way down your throat. You drank from multiple bottles, yet the sensation of his touch still roamed your skin - making it unbearable. ‘Fuck…fuck…fuck! It’s not enough, please make it stop!’ You say to yourself as you scratch your arms and legs. Images of him riddling your skin with his kisses flashed in your mind, the way he would look at you, haunted your very being. Anywhere he touched, it felt like fire and you wanted it to stop. Hearing his voice again triggered you. Sending you spiraling into a maelstrom of emotions. 

Everything was spinning, you were stumbling from room to room as you held the bottle closer to your chest. “Stop it…stop it!” You yell to no one in particular. The condo was empty but yet you felt as if Ran Haitani was standing here, staring at you - laughing at your pitiful state. More images of him kissing you flashed in your mind. Those images began to turn dark and ugly, now you began to picture him from that night. Kissing those other women and touching them as if they were his trophies. ‘You aren’t worth my time, you aren’t worth anything…you were just a placeholder…’ Ran’s voice echoed in your ears and you lost it. 

Mikey came home within the hour, there was a sinking feeling in his stomach that he could not ignore. When he opened the front door, he thought that someone had broken into his home - there was glass on the floor and droplets of blood in various places. “(Y/N)!” He yelled but no one answered. Dashing towards the bedroom, he was met with silence and no one was there. The sound of the bath water running snatched his attention. He ran towards the bathroom and kicked the door in, he was not prepared for the site in front of him. You were in the bathtub, bare, your skin was red and bruised. You kept scrubbing your skin almost raw with the loofa, and you didn’t even notice as he stood by the door. Slowly, he made his way to you, a look of regret reflecting on his face. “I can still feel him…” You whispered to yourself as you kept scrubbing. When you tore the skin, Mikey immediately stopped you and turned off the water. “Angel, what the fuck?!” He says as he cups your cheek and makes you look up at him. Your eyes were empty, it’s as if the person in front of him wasn’t you. “It won’t stop…” You whisper to him. “What won’t stop?” Mikey asks as he tries to get you out of the bathtub. “Ran…he won’t stop, I can still feel him…” The words that rolled off your tongue felt like a ton of bricks. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t erase him - it hurts…it hurts so much. Please make it stop…”

This whole time you were trying your hardest to forget but hearing his voice felt like someone ripping the stitches out of your heart, those frail stitches that were barely keeping you together. For once, Sano Manjiro didn’t know how to react - nor what to do. These things were usually taken care of for him by the other members. Though your body was on fire, Mikey picked you up and took you to his room and wrapped you in a towel. He noticed the daze you were in and the smell of alcohol that lingered on the tip of your tongue. “Make it go away…Mikey-please…” You begged and cried your eyes out. He couldn’t take it anymore, the suffering, the ache, the desire…

Cupping both your cheeks, Mikey closed the distance and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. It sent a jolt of electricity down your spine. When he felt your lips move, returning the kiss, he deepened it. “I’ll take your pain away…just say the word.” The low tone in his voice made you reach out and wrap your arms around his neck. “Mikey…help me.” Your words were almost a whisper, it was enough to have him lay you down and climb on top of your still naked form. His tongue explored your mouth with such ease, the warm and wet muscle was dancing with yours, both of you began to pant. Your taste mixed with alcohol was making his head spin. Hungry hands roamed the valley of your chest, lightly pinching and massaging your nipples. You couldn’t help but arch your back to his touch, his hips were between your thighs and rolling on to your bare pussy. The bulge in his pants was rubbing against your entrance, to feel someone else for the first time in a long time made your legs quiver. The liquor in your veins was making you numb to the burning on your arms but it was making a mess of your lower half. Mikey pulled away, locking eyes with you as he removed his shirt - the stars in your eyes made him smirk. For once he got a wish come true, he wanted nothing more than to replace him.  

Despite the state you were in, he found you beautiful. The red and purple marks that were noticeably painful and light trickles of blood were like rubies that decorated your skin. You can only self-destruct, you refuse to take anyone else down with you and wallow in your own pain. He lowered himself and planted gentle kisses on your neck and made his way down to the valley of your chest, leaving open mouthed kisses on the area above your heart. “He didn’t deserve you…” Mikey says as he placed your nipple in his mouth. His touch was tender and made your heart feel like it was going to beat out of its chest. Who knew the most notorious man in Tokyo could have such a loving side to him? Lithe fingers traced circles on your hips, making their way down lower to caress your plush thighs, though it was his first time exploring your body - he was so familiar with it. The gentle nibble on the hardened bud made you mewl and run your fingers through his silver hair. Honey began to pool between your legs as he teased your inner thigh. Mikey latched on your other nipple, giving it the same loving treatment. “You’re worth more than anyone could fathom…” He said as he bit a little harder and made you moan from the pain and pleasure. The way he moved slowly down your body, trailing kisses and leaving light pink marks had your mind muddled. You knew it was wrong but at the same time, the carnal desires that blossomed when he showed you his affection made you let go of the doubt. He was diving down the deep end with you. 

The room was spinning as he spread your thighs open. Mikey basked at seeing how your walls clenched around nothing, how your honey was dripping and begging to be tasted. He slid a finger between your folds, collecting your slick and rubbing circles on your clit. “Ngh…Mikey.” You moaned out his name and it made his cock throb beneath their restraints. He smirked against your skin as he kissed your inner thighs, inching closer to your core - his pulse was racing and the urge to take you was clawing away at him. She needs more… He thinks to himself as his tongue glides between your folds, tasting your sweet essence. Never in his life would he have ever thought to taste something so decadent in his life. What a fool…he gave her up for what? A cheap whore? The thoughts were running wild in Mikey's head. Ran Haitani soon became the center of Mikey's ire. 

A single digit slid into your core, teasing and testing out the stretch for your cunt. You shifted your hips slightly to bring him deeper. Your warmth was everything to him right now, to try and pry him away from your honeypot would be suicide. Your walls clenched as he curled his finger in a ‘come hither’ motion, his touch felt like heaven. More thoughts invaded his mind. Fuck… she's this tight even after him… Mikey added a second digit, curling them to hit that sweet spot that made you moan loudly and fist the sheets beneath you. The sensation of him lapping your every drop kept making your legs quiver, he was gentle yet firm with his movements. Be it the alcohol or lack of human contact, you were on the edge of bliss when his mouth latched on to your bundle of nerves. “W-Wait…Mi-mmm…” You were about to call his name but the sounds were replaced by your moans and gasps. His pace didn’t falter, if anything he made haste and your vision was beginning to go white. He began to rut his hips into the mattress, his cock was painfully hard and in dire need of attention. A wet patch began to form from all the pre that was leaking from his tip. That unique tingle that ran down your spine had you gripping his silver hair and rolling your hips. Hearing him pant and groan was bringing you closer to total bliss, as quiet as he was during meetings and gatherings, he was so vocal now that it felt like he was a different person. 

The tightly wound up coil in your belly was on the verge of snapping. “Come for me, angel…” Mikey’s words were the final push you needed. Your legs quivered as your orgasm came crashing into you like a tidal wave, you were babbling incoherent sentences and a string of curses escaped your throat as he lapped your juices and held your hips in place. Your eyes began to water as you came down from your high - the intense emotions and affection that was displayed made your chest sting. When Mikey pulled away from your core, he could see how your legs were quivering and how your body slightly spasmed as his fingers continued to plunge in and out. “You’re so beautiful like this…” His tone was heavy and it echoed in your ear, it made your walls clench and suck in his fingers even more. A coy smirk bled across his lips as he withdrew his fingers, your whine of protest made him sit up and lower his pants along with his boxers. The way his cock sprang free and twitched at the cool air hitting the tip made you roll your hips onto nothing. His tip had beads of precum that dripped down his shaft. Every vein was defined and he gripped his member, stroking it - teasing you with it. With every stroke you could see how the droplets fell from his tip and onto your folds. 

Your breath hitched when he positioned himself between your legs and he rubbed the red flushed tip through your slit. Mikey lowered himself to capture your lips, he could feel your arms wrap around his neck and pull him closer. Your lips were plush and slightly swollen from the earlier kisses. How they parted for him when his tongue glides on your bottom lip had him aching for more. The vibrations of his moans could be felt on your chest as his member pushed past your tight ring. For someone who has a small frame, he not only had length but he had girth as well - the sensation of him stretching you out made you run your nails down his back. The light red streaks on his back burned but Mikey didn’t care, he wanted to remain buried inside you and fill you to the brim with his seed. When he bottomed out, you could feel him throb inside you and broke the kiss, he rested his forehead on yours - Mikey screwed his eyes shut at your muscles contracting and sucking in him. He thought he was going to lose it. “(Y/N)...f-fuck, you need to stop clenching like that - you’re going to me cum…” He chuckled as you squeezed him tighter in response to his words. As he slowly reeled his hips back, you felt his hand wrap underneath your thigh, hiking your leg up higher and getting a better angle. When he slid back in, you dug your nails into his back, the pressure between your thighs was immense and you knew he was going to leave you sore. 

"Ngh…feels s'good…" You said between moans and gasps. "...don't stop…" Mikey sat up and watched as your breasts bounced with each thrust of his hips. His eyes trailed down your body, it was so perfect, so beautiful and all he could think of was making you cum in his cock. When his eyes landed between the space that connected you two, he was in a daze. He even slowed his pace so that he could watch his cock pump in and out, gazing at that white satin ring that adorned the base of his cock. With pride swelling his chest, he slung your legs over his shoulders and proceeded to lean forward - making him go deeper. Your dulcet moans got louder as he fucked you all the way to heaven. You could have sworn the bedroom light casted a halo above Mikey’s head. "Oh god! Manjiro!" That mind numbing sensation began to ravage your core and your legs were shaking as your orgasm clawed its way out. You screaming his name threw him over the edge, his pace became sloppy and his hips stuttered as his coil snapped. That unmistakable sensation had you twitching and quivering, your honey and his seed dripped down your slit. Your greedy cunt milked him dry, he was almost sure you were going to be dripping for days. Slowly, he pulled out and basked at how that milky white liquid would drip from your hole. With his finger he pushed it back inside and watched as your pretty little cunt would push it back out. 

He was savoring the image before him, you were laying in his bed, naked, panting, covered in sweat with his seed dripping from your core - was a sight he etched in his memory. If this is what it takes to make you forget, to keep you happy - I’ll do it over and over again… Mikey thinks to himself as he lays next to you and pulls you into his chest. The sound of his heart beating was like a lullaby that put your mind at ease, your eyes felt heavy and his sweet nothings were fading in and out. 

**back to the present**

Soft moonlight trickled into the bedroom as you woke up in your apartment. You were too dazed to notice the heavy figure next to you but the moment you felt a pair of arms being wrapped around your waist - your heart sank. The person laying next to you was Ran Haitani. That’s right, he found you this morning and fucked you until you couldn’t think straight. “Stay…” His sleepy tone had warmth creeping up on your cheeks. “...let me make us something to eat, it’s late and we haven’t even eaten anything.” You say softly as you kiss him on the forehead and slowly wiggle out of his hold. He nodded and went back to sleep.

You wrapped a robe around your still naked body and headed for the kitchen. With your cellphone in hand, you stepped outside and made a call. The phone rang and rang, the longer it took for your call to be answered, the more anxious you felt and you began to pace back and forth. When the call was finally answered, “Is it done?”

END PT 3

Tagslist:

@rinrinfoxy @mor-pheus @no-signal  @namelessnikki2 @gabi-moureira @spookys-s @slvtmeow @jinii-desu @mmmaaannnsssiii @3xchooo @kokotakeomi @no-name-jack @barriesandcrem @reidsmexyconverse @waterfallsdown @1980losersliveinme @gabytodd @simp4ren @fffsksixj

#tokyorev smut #tokyo revengers #tokyorevengers #tokyo revengers smut #tokrev smut #tr smut #tokyo rev smut #bonten #ran haitani #bonten ran #manjiro sano #bonten mikey #mini series #how long #tokyo revengers angst #angst fanfic #Tokyorevengersangst

[fooltofancy]

arrive at work

dink around for ten minutes

walk into break room

SINK JUST ON FOR SOME REASON

#we are animals #HOW LONG

[cokowiii]

When/if mikey’s arms start shaking again and all that jazz overall gets worse, will anyone catch on that the vaping was suppressing that, or will they assume that withdrawals just caused him to stop taking care of himself (which to be fair, they probably did so they wouldn’t be wrong in that regard) so he got worse? Now I will expand on the idea they do start shaking again because i’m waiting for my class to start. He’s on house arrest and basically stuck to his old habits to keep busy. I saw someone once mention that it messes with his taste, which would make his food taste slightly off, and hearing that would probably make him at least somewhat upset because he never had that problem before, and his hands shaking definitely wouldn’t help in cooking or baking, because of all the moving parts. Next is drawing. I’ve been told by a few people I know it can cause a sort of lack of creative ideas/executing them properly (i don’t remember the phrasing they used but IT WAS SIMILAR TO THAT!) so he might already be upset about not being able to put his ideas into motion right, but now not only can he not even put them down right, his hands make things worse now because they won’t hold still! Overall, this poor boy is going to have the breakdown of all breakdowns because of this.

Someone is definitely going to notice his shaking hands returning. Won’t say who tho >:)

Baking, cooking, drawing is all he’s going to be able to do but it’s also what’s gunna lead to that big meltdown despite those things usually being what brings him joy. Now it’s just a matter of how long will it take for this meltdown to happen?

#mikey vape au #asks and replies #how long #will it take

[boba-foxy]

Paula Toledo-How Long? stimboard by me!! (creds to all gif owners!!)

🤎🐾🏖

🧸🎶🧸

🏖🐾🤎

[GIF 1: Someone playing with brown fur (END ID)]

[GIF 2: A person showing off some fursuit paws, they are brown/cream in colour with cream claws & light purple pawpads (END ID)]

[GIF 3: A GIF of some waves crashing through rocks on a beach (END ID)]

[GIF 4: A person petting a plushie of the San-X character Rillakuma (END ID)]

[CENTER IMAGE ID: The cover art of How Long? by Paula Toledo (END ID)]

[GIF 5: A person petting a brown teddybear (END ID)]

[GIF 6: A GIF of some waves flowing through a beach (END ID)]

[GIF 7: A person showing off some fursuit paws, they are brown in colour with multicoloured claws & toebeans with Playstation symbols on them & the pawpad in the center looks like TV static (END ID)]

[GIF 8: Someone stroking some brown fur (END ID)]

[IMAGE: The Kirby character Daroach on a yellow/red gradient background with white text w/ a blue outline reading: “Please read my pinned post/DNI list before interacting! Thank you! with small text in heavily stylized pixel font next to it reading “by boba-foxy on Tumblr!” with a small dark red border around the image (END ID)]

#mod boba #paula toledo #how long #lostwave #stim #cute #kawaii #colours #stimboard #board #stim board #former lostwave #brown #beige #sand #fursuit paws #beach #teddybears #plushies #fur #obscure music #banger song #rare music