#how many times have i linked the alexander moment? i don't even know at this point. those 40 secs are so fucking insane

[sanstropfremir]

hi!! i've been reading up on your blog for a while now, and i'm sorry if you've answered this before, but i've been wondering who in your opinion would be the top tier idol dancers nowadays? and maybe performers as well, since personally i think a skilled performer doesn't really have to be all that great of a dancer. thank u for sharing ur insights with us!! they're very interesting :]

hello!! i have sort of answered this before (don't worry it was almost a year ago) with my top dancers post, and there's also this post where i discuss which idol dancers could keep up with professionals, of which there is some obvious crossover. as far as active idols who are skilled performers not exclusive of dance ability (all of these people are good dancers though):

junsu, whom now has both years of idol performance AND musical theatre performance and it shows. i wish he hadn't dropped pit a pat at basically the same time as taemin dropped idea because it slipped my radar at the time but i genuinely do not want to shut up about the choreography because holy SHIT. key, because we all saw bad love. changmin, because if chocolate and being the other half of tvxq for ten years hasn't convinced anyone the horrible disarming preacher act of devil surely did. kahi and sunye, thank god for mamadol + wooah hip (kahi white sunye red) and giving them a second chance because i missed them and we need more active second gen idols. dawn, because money is one of my all time favourite performances from an idol and frankly all these new boys could stand for a little more weird victorian waif in their vibes (here's a live version). utterly predictably: hongjoong and san, and yes this is the point where i plug the only fancam ever. and also: donghun. i don't always expect much of a main vocal, especially in a performance heavy group but donghun always delivers no matter what he's doing, whether it's a dance cover (nirvana shirt) or just a vocal stage.

#i'd also put yonghoon and dongmyeong from onewe here but they're not technically idols #and i have to cut it off somewhere because even though i complain about model faces there are a lot of good performers out there #i feel like i miss people constantly bc my memory is trash #i could have also used maniac but devil is SO clearly a different and more subtle character for changmin so it's much more illustrative #even though maniac has more obvious bombast #i really should just make a tag of 'these are all my best/fave x' posts alskjdf #kpop questions #fave posts #literally how are we supposed to go on while donghun is enlisted. how. who is holding up the fourth gen vocals. #how many times have i linked the alexander moment? i don't even know at this point. those 40 secs are so fucking insane #he did that for NO ONE!!! THERE'S NO MAIN CAMERA ON HIM!!!!!! #again. i need to express. ALEXANDER EGOT WHEN #text #answers #i hope you had fun reading my backlog! i've tried organizing it but it probably could be better. i can't believe it's been a year now wtf

[halfway-happyyy]

Random but I was about to be an aunt. My sister in law was 3 months into her pregnancy but it had to be interrupted... As I'm grieving I wish I had Alex to talk to. This is dumb but I think I'm in dire need of softness. Being listened, being cared about/for. Idk if this is even an okay request or if you're comfortable with it, but I was wondering if you could write something? Idk, I'm sorry. Please don't feel pressured to do so. I'm also sorry to dump this on you, just needed to say it. -A🖤

Hello sweet A. I wanted to start by saying that I am truly sorry for what you’re going through right now. Such a heartbreaking situation to be in, and my heart goes out to you (and your family) so much. Please don’t ever be sorry or afraid to drop something on me- my inbox is literally always open to anyone (I may be a little slow to respond) but I see you guys, and I appreciate you all so much. I want my blog to be a safe space for anyone here, because I think it’s important. I am putting what I wrote beneath a readmore because it contains some pretty heavy subject matter. If you are uncomfortable with it at all, please let me know, and I can remove it. I am honoured that you chose me to share with, and I am around if there is anything else I can do for you. Much love, friend.

tw: miscarriage 

“Close your eyes and remember this moment forever.”

Occasionally, there were fragments in life that begged to be committed to memory. She had not experienced very many of them to date, but the night that she met Alexander, he had whispered that very sentence to her and she had never forgotten it. Three and a half months ago, she had been seated adjacent to him at one of their favourite brunch haunts downtown. God, if she just closed her eyes, she could still see everything so clearly- as if it had happened yesterday and not over a hundred days ago. She could still hear the muted classical music floating in on the warm breeze from the restaurant, and the cacophonous clatter of ceramic plates and metal utensils as waiters bustled by in the background. She could still see the half empty glass of orange juice in front of his empty plate, the opaque flecks of pulp pasted to the rim of the glass. Of all her favourite views in the universe, closest to the top had to have been Alexander. And he could be doing anything, really. Whether he was seated cross-legged at the kitchen table, his blue gaze scanning the weathered pages of a coffee-stained script, or whether he was next to her at a concert, the live band loud, and the deep crinkles next to his eyes telling of his palpable happiness. It did not matter what he was doing, she was simply grateful to have someone to touch, to look at, to love. She could still feel the buzz of the phone next to her, signaling an incoming message. She had glanced down at the name on the screen and frowned to herself, running a finger over the glass and opening the text message fully. She peered down at the cellphone in her hand for what felt like hours, the words on the screen finite but still somehow otherworldly and slightly hard to believe.

“What is it, kid? Everything okay?” Alexander had asked.

She swallowed hard; a small smile pulled at the edges of her lips. “They’re uh… they’re pregnant, Alex.” She lifted her gaze to his, her unbridled happiness utterly contagious, and soon his elation matched that of her own. There had been no need to ask who the joyous news belonged to; her partner had known the moment that she uttered it, but even he could not know how her heart skipped a beat at the thought of the role she was about to play in a little one’s life.

“You’re going to be an Auntie…” Alexander had murmured, his voice breathless with joy. He held her to him that evening, as she spoke at length of the plans she envisioned for her future niece or nephew. She had drifted to sleep hours later with her much smaller hand entwined with his own, and to his soft, whispered voice saying,

“Close your eyes and remember this moment forever.”

And then one evening about a week ago, while she was at a private function with Alexander, she received a series of phone calls. She had managed to miss the first two, the collective chatter from the people around her had helped to drown the sound of her ringer out completely, and she only noticed the missed calls when she excused herself to use the washroom. The third call came in while she was fixing her dress, and she answered on the second ring. “Hello?” Something unbearably painful lingered in the silence. She pressed a finger over her ear to hear better. “Hello?” She asked again and heard only muffled sobbing in response. “Please try to calm down, I can’t understand you...” She implored the person on the other end of the line. Finally, a single sentence was uttered over the crackle of the phone wire, and her phone fell from her slipping grasp, landing in the sink below her with a resounding clank. Exiting the safety of the washroom, she stumbled back out into the heavily crowded room; her gaze was blurry with saltwater as she searched desperately for Alexander in the mass of bodies. She found his imposing figure at the bar, awaiting a drink, and tugged on his cuff-linked sleeve wordlessly.

“Ah, there you are kid. I was just about to send-” His voice faltered as he took note of her stoic figure. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

She swallowed hard and shook her head. Tears were moments away from breaking free of their dam and cascading down her face without pause. “We need to leave, Alex.”

His blue eyes widened in worry. “What is going on?”

She shook her head again. “We have to leave. Now. Please.” Her voice was pleading, and instead of waiting for a response from him, she turned on a heel and made for the exit. Once outside, she hugged her arms tight to her frame and slid down the side of the brick wall, resting her forehead against her knees. She tried to take deep, measured breaths to keep from hyperventilating and shivered only slightly in the balmy, mid-October air. Alexander joined her moments later, both of their coats slung over his forearm, a look of extreme concern etched across his features.

Crouching down in front of her, he placed a warm hand over her bare shoulder. “Will you tell me what’s going on?” She had been about to say something when a car horn blared in the distance and their taxicab pulled up to the curb before them. “Come, love. Let’s get you home.” He held her to him as she cried nearly all the way home, his warmth like a weighted blanket around her. “What happened, kid?” He whispered when there was a momentary intermission in her tears.

“She lost the baby.”

Those words hung suspended in the air above them like a dark raincloud. She had weathered storms before- but never anything remotely close to this magnitude. “Oh, my sweet girl…” Alexander held her tighter to him as he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head. “I am so sorry.” She stayed like that for the remainder of the ride home, her head tucked firmly beneath his chin, tears flowing freely down her now-raw cheeks. When the vehicle glided to a halt in front of their home fifteen minutes later, Alexander handed over a wad of cash and told the driver to keep the change. If she had to think back on it now, the time between when she exited the vehicle, entered the house, and made her way to the safety of her bedroom, was totally blank. It could not have taken more than ten minutes but try as she might, those ten minutes had dissipated for good with no hope of ever recovering them. “Let me help you…” Alexander had murmured when he joined her moments later in their room. She stood motionless in front of their expansive mirror, her eyes bloodshot and exhausted. He stood behind her and reached with warm fingers for the zipper at the base of her neck. He made quick work of undressing her and watched the expensive material pool at the bottom of her feet. Wordlessly, he unclasped her bra and hung it over the back of the chair adjacent to them. “One of mine?” He whispered.

She nodded her head. “Please.”

Alexander turned and made for the walk-in closet, to his clothes that were hung to the left of where hers were. He felt around for the familiar material of one of his worn t-shirts and produced it from the middle of the rack, returning to where she was still stood. “Arms up,” He whispered, and watched as she did as she was told wordlessly. He fitted the t-shirt down over her body, watched it settle just above the top of her knee. He closed the distance between them and wrapped his warm arms around her waist, his chin resting softly in the crook of her shoulder. Their eyes met in the mirror and he asked her, “Would you like to talk about it?”

Her gaze fell from his and she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, the familiar prickle of tears stabbed threateningly behind her eyes. “Not tonight.” She was not yet sure if it was something she ever wanted to talk about- it was a grief so intense in measure that she felt she lacked the proper words to describe it. To have something so tangible ripped from your grasp without warning… she could hardly bear it. “I want to lay down.” She pulled away from his embrace to stumble over to the bed. It had yet to have been made from that morning still, but she hardly cared. She climbed into it wordlessly and pulled the weighted blanket up over her body, hoping that sleep would come for her soon. She felt his side of the bed dip under his weight a few moments later, heard the rustle of the blanket as it was pulled back to allow him to slide in.

“May I hold you?” He asked, quietly.

She swallowed hard; her throat had been scratchy from the onslaught of tears. “Yeah.”

He shimmied up behind her and folded his long legs up behind her own, and together they laid like that for what seemed like hours. When she continued to stir against him, he whispered to her a folktale in his native tongue- something he had been in the habit of doing whenever she had had a rough time getting to sleep in the past. It worked. She had been able to drift into a fitful slumber, but 6:45 am came early, and with that consciousness came a tidal wave of despair and she did not have the energy to fight. She cried until she could no longer breathe through her nose, and resorted instead to taking deep, gulping breaths. She closed her eyes and tried to will herself to get a proper breath in, as Alexander stirred behind her. “Woah, woah… it’s okay, kid.” His voice was raspy and bore the heavy weight of recent sleep. “Come here, you.” He whispered and reached for her, scooping her up into his arms and falling back to rest against the solid oak headboard.

“It hurts, Alex…” Her fragile voice teetered precariously on the edge of breaking.

He held her head to his chest as he cradled her in his arms and rocked her back and forth in a slow, steady motion. “Shh, I know, baby. I know it hurts,” He kissed the top of her head tenderly. “You just feel everything you need to feel, hm? I’ll be right here with you.” He caressed a warm palm to the apple of her cheek and swiped stray tears away with the pad of his thumb. “I’ll always be right here.” He held her like that until morning dawned, and an October sun had begun to pour in through the crack in the linen curtains, shining beams of light over pieces of her disheveled hair. Alexander rubbed reassuringly circles into the soft skin of her arm and placed a series of feather-light kisses over her neck and shoulder. “I won’t let you bear the weight of this alone, my love,” He let the silence collect between them before he cleared his throat. “And I won’t force you to talk about anything you don’t want to, but I need you to know that you are not in this alone.”

“Close your eyes and remember this moment forever.”

And she would. She figured that she would remember the precise feeling of the pain for the rest of her life; how it felt so much like literal heartbreak, that she was scared she would succumb to it at any moment. But she would also remember the immense amount of love that she felt for Alexander; for the immense amount of love that he poured into her, and how grateful she was just to have him around in some of the darkest moments of her life.

#tw: miscarriage #asks #alex sstuff

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

Can you talk some more about this FMA-in-TMA-'verse AU? If you don't want it on this blog, then I'd be fine with something on your other blog, so long as you send me the link to the post (because I wouldn't otherwise see it prolly).

I’m fine with it here!

Okay there’s two versions. 1) Non-Archivist version. The journey is the same but there’s a statement at best. 2) The version where in his research to get his body back to normal, Ed ends up at an Institute possibly even The Magnus Institute or at least, the German branch of the Magnus Institute (bc Amestris is based vaguely on Germany), where Ed ends up as a researcher and then possibly as an Archivist. 

Either way the backstory is the same:

Ed and Al are very young when their Father leaves them with their mother left behind. Hoenheim was a strange man, memorable, but still, every strange. He had this gaze, not unkind, but it seemed far too long and far too sharp, and as far as anyone could tell, at the very least, Pinako would say, he seemed as old as he was the day they met him. But some people just age differently…right? Right. 

Either way, Trisha raises Ed and Al alone, and the two are free to explore their house…and eventually their father’s study. In there, they find various odd things. Books especially, some of which say from the Library of Jorgen Leitner…? 

Trisha finds them before they get a chance to read too far. 

But their interest in the supernatural is peaked, and in the little research they saw, they found a fascination with the power it could hold, but to use and to be wary of. They don’t go far, but they look into little things, ghosts, Leitners, even vampires, and with it, they gain knowledge that children shouldn’t have at their ages. 

And then Trisha dies.

Now, they know ghosts exist. They know powers beyond their imagining exists. They’re children, and they love their mother…so they try to bring her back. 

From here, idk the exact series of events. Maybe they still would go learn from Izumi (which since this is probably modern times, it wouldn’t be as okay to take children, but she probably would send them info. She probably would be Slaughter or Hunt aligned, I’d think? Maybe Beholding, but Hunt seems the best of the three). 

I think they’d try to research End specific things and a little bit of Flesh…and of course, it goes wrong. Their mother…she doesn’t come back.

Tbh, I would find it most interesting if they accidentally created a creature..and it lived. A weird combination of Flesh and End, not really living but living enough to have a heart and be made from the ingredients of what makes “people”. There wouldn’t be a door or Truth… just the End and the Flesh mixing and Al and Ed paying the consequences of it. 

I can’t think of a way where Al’s soul could be bound. I just can’t. The only way it could work… if we go FMA canon, where Al is in the body of the creature they made… but instead of dying the moment it was created, Al is just stuck in it. Ed meanwhile loses a couple limbs, but more importantly, he’s marked by the End and the Flesh….maybe gaining ability from the End in its mark. 

From here, Ed probably journey’s his brother. Al can’t come along because of the new monster form, so Ed would be alone. 

If Ed becomes an Archivist and researcher…well, he’s already marked by the End and the Flesh, he would make for a good Archive, no? 

I’m gonna go a little bit on the first one, not too much. But just imagine Ed, Roy, Riza, and all the others being stuck in a room together in an Archive with ED as their boss. Or or or, Roy was being trained as an Archivist bc he was marked by the Slaughter and later Desolation, and Ed being put with him as a back-up Archivist/researcher. 

King Bradley is probably the head of the Institute, with Father being a Web Avatar with a bunch of other avatars under his beck and control (all based off different powers. Envy: Stranger. Lust: Web or Hunt. Gluttony: Flesh. Greed: Vast Bradley: Beholding but with Slaughter tendencies. Sloth: Buried with a side of Flesh and Lonely. Pride: Dark). Father put Bradley there on purpose in order to keep an eye for any good contenders. 

Hoenheim and Father were twins years ago. Father manipulated Hoenheim into being a part of a Web ritual, and ended up making him an avatar in the process. The ritual, of course, failed, and Father after years of observation realized that bringing one person wasn’t enough, he needed many. 

Hoenheim left Trisha for similar reasons as in canon: he wanted to become human for him family. He just ended up being too late. 

Quick fire things in no particular order:

- Moral conflict between Ed and the others. He is a character who’s main thing isn’t killing in a killed or be killed world, so he’ll have to deal with that.

-Riza’s dad was probably involved in some desolation shit, and as a result, Riza got a fire tattoo on her back to which Roy burned off for her. 

-Listen I want Olivia in this but idk how, but she’d be marked by the Slaughter just by how hardcore she is. Alex Louis Armstrong might be a member the Archives as well, or he might just be a random dude? Hmmm. Maybe he would join the Archives later. 

-Hughes is def a part of the Archives. He realized something was fishy about this whole Institute business, but he got killed before he could tell anyone the details he found. 

-Nina and Alexander is part of a Flesh thing, and it’s just as horrific as canon. 

-Ed has HIGH empathy for all monsters, even the worst ones because of Al’s state. As a result, he nearly gets himself killed a lot trying to see the humanity in avatars that don’t want to be human anymore. 

-Al is at home getting used to his form. Possibly if there’s a scene where they have to hide or at the very least, get away from the Institute, they go to their place, and everyone in the Archives realizes what Ed’s been fighting for this entire time. Al is in fact, coherent in his new body, if in constant pain, and can barely speak. I feel like he does a lot of research while Ed is gone, in a different way. 

-Pinako and Winry are physical therapists. They help Al in whatever way they can. 

-Oh! When Ed first loses his limbs, they don’t bleed. They just cut off perfectly, so he doesn’t bleed out. He gets prosthetics. 

-Baby faced Ed says he’s 18. Keep in mind, he probably tries to join the institute when he’s 12. He is somehow let in to the bafflement of everyone and his own smugness. At 14, he’s moved down to the Archives. 

-Idk if his crew would lead to the end of the world, but it could easily lead to the end of the world with the Web at its center. 

#pomrania #the magnus archives #tma #fma #fma:b #body horror #long post #THIS GOT WAY TOO DETAILED #ask the void