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#how much it parallels Buck's view of himself
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"Time & the Trickster"   A Loki/Doctor Who crossover
by ijuststareatstuffhereok89
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Chapter 1: A Birthday Surprise
After getting a call from your mischievous brother asking you to bail him out of jail (again), you meet a curious man who claims to be from another reality. But getting him home from jail is just the beginning of your woes.
CHAPTER WARNING: none
Previous Chapter (Prologue) - Next Chapter MASTERLIST
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He didn’t know it was possible before now, but Loki’s headache was even worse as he came to again, immediately finding himself in a new, startling situation. 
Loki lay on his back, spread-eagled on a frigid concrete floor. The hot-pink fleece throw was laid strategically over his privates (as if it did anything!). The ceiling was the same bland hue as the floor, but the shadow of a wall of steel bars fell over his face, complicating the view. Two of the four walls of this cold room were made of bars. The other two consisted of solid rock, littered with graffiti and etchings.
It was a prison cell.
“Of all the nerve!” Loki muttered bitterly, sitting up as quickly as his migraine would allow. “What am I doing here? Guard? Soldier?” 
“Hey, what’s your story?” 
A diminutive man with tanned skin and wearing a baggy black muscle shirt underneath a denim jacket four sizes too large, sat on the only bench in the cell. In his panic, Loki hadn’t realized that he wasn’t alone.
“Where am I?” Loki asked for what had to have been the hundredth time that night. “Please, just answer me.”
His cellmate shrugged. “They brought you in already knocked out, huh?”
“I…suppose they did, yes.”
“You’re in the tank, the police station off Clinton Square. You’ll be out once you call someone and make bail.” 
“I…I have no one to make bail for me,” Loki said sadly, rubbing his forehead. “At least I don’t think so. I’m beginning to get the feeling I’m alone on this plane.”
The man looked sympathetic. “Maybe when my sister gets here she’ll get you out too. You just got into a street fight. Can’t be more than fifty or a hundred bucks for you.” 
“Sister?” Loki asked. 
“She always says its the last time she’ll have my back, but when you’re all the other one has, I guess that’s always up for negotiation,” the man reasoned. He got up and removed his large denim jacket, laying it over Loki, who gratefully laid it over his lap. “What can I say? I love a good bar scrap!” 
He stuck his hand out at Loki, who paused before taking it. “I’m Joey, by the way.” 
“I’m Loki, pleasure to meet you,” he mumbled. 
Joey snickered and rolled his eyes. “Oh, okay, I was gonna bring it up, but you already know how much you look like him, but maybe you still have vodka on the brain. The cops here won’t buy the ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’ thing, you know. Trust me, I’ve shared a cell with Hugh Grant, Barack Obama, two Jesus Christs and a Chris Evans.”
“Look, Joey, I really am, I mean, I need to find someone--”
“--Just keep your head down, bro. I bet my sis will be here any minute with her wallet full of freedom.” 
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It always rained on your birthday. Every single year.
Here it was, ten o’clock at night, and you weren’t even at the bar with your friends or trying to pick up a date. Instead, you were angrily running down the wet sidewalk that ran parallel to Clinton Square, holding an umbrella that did fuck-all to keep you dry in the downpour, on your way to bail your little brother out of the drunk tank. Again. 
There was a reason everyone who knew your family called him ‘Jailbird Joey.’ It seemed like his run-ins with the beat cops in towns were becoming more frequent with the years putting distance between you and your parents’ untimely deaths. Granted, he was never run in for any charge worse than public intoxication, but it was still an embarrassment. You were hoping that he would’ve given you a break for your damn birthday, though. 
If he weren’t your only family, and if he weren’t really just a diamond in the rough, you would’ve thrown him out of your apartment by now. Sometimes, you thought if he could just get out of the city and see more of the world, perhaps he’d find something to motivate him to set a goal or explore a new life path. 
As if, you sneered to yourself, walking up the steps of the police station. Nothing ever changes.
It was such a typical event for Joey to call you for bail that the receptionist at the front desk of the precinct nodded and mouthed your name while listening to whoever was engaging her on the phone. You were getting to know everyone at the station so well, at least one of the cops was thinking of inviting you to his daughter’s bat mitzvah.
“Hey Martha,” you sighed. “Can I go back?”
She nodded silently and pointed to the right, down a long white hallway. You walked right down, not even bothering to sign in like you should have. 
You reached a second desk near a heavy, locked steel door. A familiar face, large and red, greeted you with a knowing nod. 
“How much for him today, Jim?” you asked, as if you were asking for a cut of beef instead of your brother’s freedom. 
“For both of ‘em...two-hundred.”
“Both?” you asked. “I’m sorry?”
“Joey said you’d spot his new pal, Naked Jake,” said the cop, shrugging casually.
“Oh come on, Jim, it’s my birthday, can’t you cut me a deal? I didn’t ask for--”
“--sorry, judge sets bail,” he said harshly. 
“Well, I’ll pay his, but as for his mooch friend, he can rot,” you said angrily, digging into your wallet and throwing down a hundred dollar bill. “Not sure where he got the idea that I’m made of money, anyway.”
“Very well,” Jim mumbled, prodding a large red button with his index finger. After a loud buzz that made your brain vibrate, the heavy iron door behind Jim opened, letting you through. As you went through the doorway, he called down over your shoulder: “Hey Curly, Y/N’s back, but just for the one!” 
Another guard further down the long hallway of barred cells and heavy doors shouted back in affirmation, “Thanks! Hey, Y/N, they’re down here!” 
Your feet walked in tempo to the bitter, annoyed rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ you were sarcastically humming as you approached the cell.
Joey was sitting with his legs folded and back straight against the wall. Next to him, his lap covered with Joey’s jacket and a fluffy pink throw across his shoulders as if it did something to keep him from being affected by the chilly air in the room. He was otherwise naked, and was instantly recognizable to you. 
“Whu…what the hell?” was all you were able to say, your eyes glued to the naked stranger next to you. “Is that….no…Joey, explain!” you continued babbling. “What is Tom-fucking!-Hiddleston doing in a jail cell in Syracuse New York with my dingus brother? IN THE BUFF??”
“Who?” asked the naked man. 
Joey shrugged and mouthed rather indiscreetly, “He’s tweaking.” 
You were a naturally jittery person, and the building anxiety about seeing your jailbird brother being chummy with one of the most dignified, prolific actors on the planet was already making you confused and flustered (as well as sweaty). “WHAT? I…Joey…” 
“He, uh…” Joey got up and met you at the bars for more privacy. “He thinks he’s actually Loki, and he seems really torn up about it.” 
“Where did you find him?” you asked. “Was he just waltzing around Armory Square reciting a Hamlet monologue? Or..?”
“He was here when I got brought in.”
You leaned to the side to get a better look at the guy. Strange, his hair was dyed and styled in the way he typically wore it when he played the role, but nothing indicated any Loki-centric projects were in production at the moment (you knew, you kept up). “He’s not…dangerous, is he?”
“Sis, think about it,” Joey reasoned, “He’s HOW famous? He does something weird, it’s all over Page Six in the morning, right?”
“...yes? And your point?” You blinked, twisting your lip with skepticism. 
Joey made an impatient gesture with his palm. “So, maybe we rescue him and get some kind of compensation and finally pay off all our debts--”
“Compensation?!” 
The strange naked man hopped to his feet, ignoring that the jacket and blanket fell to the floor. You jumped back reflexively as he stumbled forward at the bars, Even Joey had to scramble aside. “I can offer you anything if you help me get back. Anything!” He sounded desperate. 
“N….no…” you said, still nervous. 
“Sis! C’mon!” 
“Miss--”
“--Y/N--”
“Miss Y/N, I promise you, I really am who I say I am, and once I can offer you proof, I shall,” he said, trying somewhat successfully to lower his voice into a calmer one. “If you can get me back to the TVA, I can reward you handsomely.” 
“What’s that?”
“Time Variance Authority,” the naked prisoner explained to you, though it all came across as gibberish. “I think I’ve been separated from my friends in a time of dire crisis. The Timelines are fraying!”
You looked at Joey and raised an eyebrow, and he responded with an identical gesture (it was the ‘family brow’, you and your brother could speak volumes with your eye expressions alone).
“Sure they are, Captain Amnesiac,” you quipped. “Joey, I’m not spending my last hundred on this looney toon no matter how famous he is.” 
“Look,” Loki managed to grab your hand through the bars. It was surprisingly warm, or perhaps his natural body heat only stood out in contrast to the cool air around you. For whatever reason, you felt your shivering skin still. Your heart slowed. Was he casting some spell on you? Or were you just flattered that such a famous, rich actor would be so bold as to touch your commoner’s flesh?
It was his eyes more than anything that spoke the truth to you. They were both desperately pleading and hopeful, large and blue. They were a bit bigger than all of the photos and films you’d seen him in, and you didn’t quite expect his jaw to be so sharp. 
There was something else about the man that was more humble than you’d expect from Tom Hiddleston or anyone in his class. The actor was dapper, polished and refined from decades in the business. You knew this without ever meeting the man; his poise was always evident in every interview he gave. Meanwhile, the man before you had been through some real shit in recent days…perhaps even recent hours. The hair wasn’t shiny but greasy and disheveled. He needed a decent meal and a twelve-hour deep sleep. He needed clothes. He needed a hug. 
And suddenly, light a bolt out of the blue, you believed him. 
“Do you have somewhere to stay?” you asked quietly. “Until we figure out what your deal is?”
He looked at you hopefully. “No, but I won’t be any trouble if you’d give me somewhere tonight while I figure out what to do, please!”
You rolled your eyes at Joey. “Oh yeah, no trouble at all. That’s so Loki!” you snarked, pulling your hand carefully out of Loki’s grip. 
“Yes, it IS Loki! I swear it,” said the prisoner. “Why do you doubt me?”
“I…uh…oh god, he’s so far gone, Joey!” you couldn’t help but remark. 
“I know, but mind if we hurry it up? I’m late for work,” he answered. 
“LATE FOR WORK?” you suddenly barked, causing even Loki to jump, startled. “What do you mean late for work??” It’s ten at night! What were you doing three hours before work that got you in here?!”
“Fighting.”
You looked horrified. Loki looked almost amused in spite of the circumstances. 
“Where the hell were you fighting?!” you asked, taking on a maternal tone as you scolded your baby brother. 
Joey looked down and shuffled his foot with exaggerated sheepishness. “...at work.” 
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The rain was only coming down harder as the three of you left the station twenty minutes later, after Joey and Loki signed their release forms. Half the precinct had been invited in to witness what, to them, looked like a very famous man wearing holey castoffs from the station’s lost and found bin, signing a release form after being booked for public intoxication. 
You opened your umbrella just as a cab pulled up in front of the precinct’s stoop. “That’s my ride, sis!” 
“Joey, I’m kicking your ass when you get home,” you warned. 
He smiled and wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Maybe our new friend can do it for you,” he whispered mockingly in your ear. “He’s kinda hot, you know…”
“Joey!” You giggled and stepped back, glad for the small bit of tension-relief before Joey took off for his bartending shift. One thing you promised one another after your parents died was that you would never go your separate ways angry, even if one of you was only going to the mailbox. 
You waited until Joey drove off in the taxi before firmly grasping Loki’s arm. “Alright, it’s a bit of a hike back to our place. Can you at least walk in a straight line?”
“I assure you, Miss, I’m not drunk,” Loki said slowly, looking you in the eyes again without blinking, as if he could drill the skepticism out of you if he stared hard enough. 
Joey was right. The stranger was handsome. He looked disheveled and silly, not an ounce of dignity on his person in that moment. Even so, the wear and tear of his life before now added a layer of something to his countenance you couldn’t put your finger on. You were always a girl attracted to experienced men. 
Back off, girl, you told yourself. If he’s really Tom Hiddleston, he’s not available. That was the way of it, though. No one that well turned out had the right to be single. 
“Let’s just go before we drown out here,” you said, bitter and tired, wishing you could just go to sleep and forget the miserable birthday you’d just had. 
Loki was much taller than you, so he took the umbrella while you pushed the pedestrian walkway button on the corner. Unfortunately, as you walked out of the downtown area, the rain only got heavier. 
You and your brother lived in Little Italy on the north side, above a small pizza shop that always reeked of greasy pepperoni and whatever else was left under the heat lamps for too long. Even in the dead of night, the red ambience of neglected neon signs from the windows downstairs leaked up into your bedroom. It was a twenty-minute walk from the precinct on a sunny summer afternoon. By the time you and Loki made it to the back entrance of the apartment, it was nearly 11:30pm. 
“You live inside of a restaurant?” he asked. 
You shook your head. “Not what you’re used to, I expect. But that's all I’ve got for you tonight.” 
“Then it will do splendidly.” The rich, low baritone in his natural voice was beginning to grow on you. It was lovely and steady when it wasn’t begging you for bail money. 
Both of you were both strung out and exhausted, so you kept the tour of the tiny one-bedroom flat brief, showing Loki that you had the single bedroom to yourself. Joey slept on a ratty recliner in the walk-in closet off the main room. 
Your room was small and cluttered with the things you enjoyed: half-completed knitting projects, several bookcases both free-standing and mounted on the wall, figuring from your favorite action films, and sketches of different characters you admired. Underneath piles of folded-but-still-loose laundry (which you unceremoniously shoved into a corner), your futon sat, unfolded and unmade. 
“It’s strange,” you said out loud, a thought occurring to you suddenly. “Maybe there is something to all this.”
Another being came to mind: one that couldn’t initially avoid the rounds of memes, press, and social media posts when he was first spotted. Granted, by all accounts he’d practically leapt on top of everyone he met when he’d arrived, but the situations seemed a little too similar to you to ignore. Perhaps it was something to bring up in the morning after Joey got home. 
“What makes you say that?” asked Loki, sitting on the futon. 
“You…you’re not the first man to claim he’s a fictional character who came to life in recent weeks, you know,” you said. 
Loki went oddly pale (which was saying much, considering how pallid he always was). “Oh?”
“A crazy guy in London says he’s…you know what?” you stopped short, observing just how worn out your new charge appeared. If he was truly who he said he was, perhaps this news would be too much for him at present.  “Never mind. I can explain it more in the morning. You don’t seem up for it right now.”
“But--”
You leaned down, taking a risk in lightly laying your index finger over his moving lips, stilling them with a “shh! I mean it. I’m only letting you stay here if you can behave, ok?”
“Are you scolding me like a boy?” Loki asked, sitting up straight and knitting his brows, taking a defensive position.
You looked away, a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I get like that sometimes. I had to grow up kind of young.”
He relaxed. “Oh?”
Nodding, you indicated around you. “Our parents owned this building, and the shop downstairs. They were killed in a plane crash. Joey and I survived it. I was fifteen and he was eleven.” 
Loki bit his lip. “I’m sorry,” he said weakly. 
“Our aunt owned it for a bit, but she sold it before retiring,” you continued to exposit. “Luckily, she was smart and had it in the lease agreement that whoever takes ownership of the restaurant had to let us stay in this apartment at a fixed rent.” 
“How wise of her,” said Loki with a touch of pity.
“Yeah, but even fixed rent is rent to be paid, y’know?” you sighed, looking around you at your tiny room. “Anyway, let’s not worry about it now. I want to see what you’re like after you’ve slept a bit.” 
“There’s no time,” he growled in protest. “Reality is collapsing!”’
“Well, if it does, at least I won’t have work tomorrow,” you chuckled, forcing the first smile out of Loki that you’d seen. Even his teeth seemed a little too perfect for a human’s mouth. 
Meanwhile, there was something to your own jokes and openness to sharing your story that brought his guard down piece by piece. You had a similar cadence to Mobius, only perhaps a bit more dynamic. You carried yourself similarly, painted your words with the same sarcasm. Yet you also carried an extra layer of matronly authority that didn’t quite suit your youthful years. Loki would never admit that he was slightly aroused when you’d shushed him with your finger just now. Now was not the time for that nonsense anyway. 
“Now, go to bed if you can,” you said, getting up. “I don’t have work until two tomorrow, so I should be here. If I’m not, Joey will be.” 
Loki leaned back against the pillow, finally beginning to relax in your presence. “May I ask what your occupation is? Out of curiosity?”
You smiled. What an inane question, given the scenario you found yourselves in. “I work in a bookstore, up at a small locally-owned place in Liverpool. That’s the village at the north end of the lake.” 
He smiled a little wider. You felt warmer. “Somehow, though we’ve just met, I feel that suits you perfectly.” 
You shifted your stance awkwardly. “I guess it does. Or, at least it has for the past five years. Goodnight, um….Loki.” Saying the name felt like an admission of belief, and it made you feel weird to say it.
For his part, Loki was finally settling in and accepting the situation at hand, and that nothing could be done about it before morning. “Pleasant dreams, Y/N…and thank you.” 
“No problem.”
You turned out the lamp by the door. Before leaving the room, you quickly thought of something. On your way out, as you walked by your bookcase, you quickly swiped a ten-inch figurine of Loki in full battle armor, poised to strike with scepter in hand, off the top shelf, praying that he didn’t notice it as you quickly shut the door behind you. 
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sevensoulmates · 13 days
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Buddie Meta 7x04 Part 3 (of 4)
Click here for part 1, part 2 or part 4.
Onto gay scene number four.
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This is ONCE AGAIN a direct parallel to 2x01. Ya know, the gym scene where everyone was like "why is Buck puffing his chest and trying to look hotter and stronger than Eddie"? Tim Minear would have us believe it's because he was threatened by Eddie, but those of us with our third eye open all know the man was attracted to Eddie, and Eddie was attracted right back.
Even down to putting the extra weights on the lift machine, it's almost beat for beat the same Buck trying to get Eddie's attention, only this time they have six years of love and devotion under their belt. This peacocking isn't about trying to prove Buck is better than Eddie, and it's most definitely not about Tommy. Tommy isn't here, neither is he mentioned. The object of Buck's attention is purely Eddie. Buck wants Eddie to look over and notice him without a spotter and come running over to be his partner, and maybe he also wants Eddie to notice that Buck is also strong and capable and sexy. Y'all ever seen those mating rituals where the male tries to prove he's big and strong and interesting so that the female will choose him? Buck is trying to make himself appear sexier than Tommy, and in my opinion, there's no other way to read this scene than that.
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He keeps looking to see if Eddie is noticing him, and when Ravi offers to be Buck's spot he shoos him away. What's also interesting is the framing of the camera. Eddie is positioned in the background between Buck's spread legs and his open arms. I'm not a filmmaker so I don't really know 100% what that means, but I just think it's an interesting choice to have Buck purposefully putting his crotch forward for Eddie to see, and keeping Eddie constantly in view only through Buck's spread arms and legs. Idk, it's givingggmmmgaysex. But what do I know?
Also keep in mind we (and probably Buck too) don't actually know who Eddie is talking to on the phone. We're meant to assume it's Tommy, but it could be Marisol, right? The last time Eddie had this kind of giggly little phone interaction it was in 6x18 with Marisol. But the show wants us to believe it's Tommy and to connect all of Eddie's actions with Tommy to being potentially romantic.
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Buck specifically has a basketball delivered to the station instead of, you know, his home, in order for Eddie to notice that Buck is suddenly interested in basketball and invite him again to play with them on Thursday. And again, I don't blame Eddie for missing the signs here. Buck has made it clear multiple times in the past that he does not want to play basketball with the other firefighters. So why would Eddie suddenly assume he's interested now? Plus he's distracted on the phone, so he might not have even really fully processed what Buck said or the insinuation of wanting to play basketball on Thursday. Buck sits down completely rejected because his latest attempt to gain EDDIE'S ATTENTION (not Tommy's) has been foiled. But thankfully Chimney comes along and provides Buck another access point.
Even Chimney is confused as to why Buck suddenly wants to play basketball. His excuses are weak, and Chimney instantly clocks that Buck isn't really there to play basketball with him but because he's trying to get in with Eddie and Tommy. Whether or not Chimney knows that Buck's trying to do it for Eddie's attention is unknown. We know that he was partially around when Buck was blabbing to Maddie, but he may not have caught the full context.
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Again, Buck is witness to how easily Tommy and Eddie touch, even though this in particular is much more "bro-y" than anything Buck and Eddie have ever done before. It's interesting that even though the episode is trying to show that the Tommy/Eddie relationship is similar to the Buck/Eddie relationship, there are still pointed times like this where the show still frames Tommy/Eddie as very very different, platonic-only, much more "bro-like" friendship.
This time however EDDIE is the one who calls Tommy "his boy!". Now we're finally getting the reversal of Tommy in Eddie's possessive. BUT this doesn't shift Eddie out of Tommy's possessive just yet. Instead, it is a mutual claim in conjunction with the rest of the scene that follows. So now it's not just a fear that Buck has that Eddie would choose Tommy over him, it's metaphorically come true. Now Tommy is Eddie's boy, and if that's the case, where does that leave Buck?
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Eddie, as lovingly oblivious as always, is shocked to see Buck here and subtly showcases his own jealousy. It's not anywhere near on the same level, but it does show Eddie noticing that Buck never says yes to him to play basketball, but somehow Chim got him to come? It does show that Eddie is still thinking about Buck here and thinking about what Eddie wasn't able to do to convince him.
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This little exchange shows yet another little way in which Tommy is encroaching on Buck's place with Eddie. The trope of "battlefield boyfriends" aka the two of them against the world. Tommy is extremely confident that he and Eddie will be able to beat Buck and Chim, and that rubs Buck the wrong way. Because up until now it's been BuckAndEddie against everyone else, and now it's TommyAndEddie. They're each other's "men". They're the team against Buck. Now it's become something hostile.
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This is a poke at Buck because he figures out he's bisexual at the end of the episode. But it's also funny because back in the day there used to be a lot of talk around Eddie in particular having beards. Beards can be both a conscious or unconscious choice on the part of a queer person. For some people, they don't know they're using someone as a beard because they're still deep in compulsive heterosexuality. In my opinion, this description fits Eddie and Marisol best at this point in time. I'm not saying that this Chim line is about Eddie, but it does bring up the question of beards in canon and who/what might be considered a beard in the current storyline.
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Buck, honey, Eddie was paying you so much attention here. He was trying to have a fun game of basketball game here, but Buck couldn't even let himself enjoy it because he couldn't get it out of his mind that Eddie wasn't on his team, that Eddie's playing against him, with Tommy.
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Eddie says an interesting line here to Buck: "You ain't getting past me" and it's so true, Eddie. Buck is probably not ever gonna be able to move past his feelings for you, regardless of who he dates in the middle.
And then we have yet another directorial camera shot that mimics the same dynamic at the end of 7x03. Eddie is running forward, Buck is desperately following behind him, and Tommy's running behind both of them. This could be foreshadowing again how no matter how much Tommy might try, Buck will always be chasing after Eddie.
Something else interesting to me is how the Buck/Eddie body slam is similar to the Eddie/Tommy body slam. These "intricate rituals" queer men will have in order to find socially acceptable ways to touch each other. It also takes me back to earlier in the meta where I talked about men using fighting/physical violence as an excuse to touch each other, hence why wrestling is a homoerotic sport. I don't know what was going through Buck's head, but I do think he was trying in some way, to force back that physical touch with Eddie, and take it away from Tommy. And in a way, it does also feel like a punishment. Like Buck's trying to make Eddie feel bad for being this physical with Tommy. And yes, Buck was in the wrong here. He let his hurt and jealousy get the best of him here and hurt Eddie in the process.
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I've seen people wonder why Buck wasn't freaking out about Eddie the way he has in the past. Well, one, this isn't a life or death scenario, and two, this is the first time it's ever been Buck's fault that Eddie's hurt. I think Buck's in shock. He's probably stunned and disgusted with himself and his desire to help Eddie is being hindered by extreme guilt, hurt, shame, and a whirlwind of other emotions he probably can't process in the moment. And that leads him to just stand still and watch instead of trying to help. He likely also thinks that Eddie wouldn't accept his help at this moment either. Buck does try to be the one who takes Eddie to the hospital, and likely would've apologized along the way. It could've been a good time for them to talk, to confront and work out the issue, but Tommy (once again) swoops in to be the one to help Tommy, effectively cutting off Buck's last chance to prove himself to Eddie.
Now, Buck's lost the last thing he can provide to Eddie over Tommy: safety, having his back, and being the one person he can always trust above all else. Buck probably thinks he's broken Eddie's trust and will lose him to Tommy for sure now. That's the kind of catastrophizing I can see him leaping to at this point in time.
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Buck then does what he does best, and pulls away. Not because he doesn't care about Eddie, but because he's already accepted that he's lost Eddie.
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Buck admits that this was a backward way of punishing Eddie, and Maddie rightfully puts him in his place for that. But then again, Maddie is speaking from a place of knowing what it's like to be physically abused (not saying this is abuse but it does still inform Maddie's perspective). Buck however is acting not from a place of an abuser or actually wanting to hurt someone, but from a place of living his whole life only knowing one way of getting people's attention. And for the longest time, that method involved hurting himself. And this time when hurting himself wasn't an option, it ended up coming out as hurting Eddie. Again, I am not trying to condone or excuse Buck's actions, but I am trying to provide a reason so we're not out here writing a million think pieces and fics about how Buck is suddenly a horrible physically abusive person (we're NOT having a repeat of the way y'all treated Eddie after the streetfighting arc). He made a mistake and obviously, he's going to apologize to Eddie and sincerely understand his actions were absolutely not it in the next episode. So, just like we're giving Eddie some grace here, let's give Buck some grace too. Moving on.
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Maddie does have a point, and she's right in a lot of ways, however, she, as a (as far as we know) straight woman, is coming at this from the perspective of being "friend-jealous" which we all know is disproven for Buck less than 10 minutes later. This talk with Maddie does give Buck good advice, but at the same time, I do believe it's likely confused him further. Because now he believes that the way he was feeling was normal best friend jealousy feelings when they really were not. Her advice is solid but doesn't really push Buck to think deeper about why all of a sudden he felt like Eddie making a new friend was the end of the goddamn world. And she can't really know to push him in that direction because she's operating under the assumption that Buck is straight. But he's not. They're both missing fundamental information here and without that, Buck still cannot truly process the depth of his feelings. I think this is a large part of why when Tommy comes over and kisses him in the next scene, Buck finds it very easy to glom onto the "out of nowhere" notion that the reason he was acting this way the entire episode is because he wants Tommy. It's very well true that Buck could've been experiencing physical attraction and an infatuation/crush on Tommy, but now, with Maddie's misinformed permission, switches targets and projects all of his big bi feelings onto Tommy.
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Buck is surprised Tommy came over, the audience and Buck both expect Eddie to be standing on the other side of the door. Tommy seems like a very observant character. He picks up on Buck's queerness (and likely Eddie's) and picks up on why Buck has been acting out of character the whole episode. Buck owns up to his actions and admits that yes, Tommy and Eddie can be friends and Eddie can have more than one friend.
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We then get an acknowledgment from Tommy that actually when he spends time with Eddie and Chris, the two of them talk about Buck a lot. Eddie isn't specifically mentioned, but it's implied that Eddie has told Tommy a lot about Buck if Tommy already knows that Buck is an irreplaceable part of both their lives. It's also funny because the last time someone said this, it was Buck trying to reassure Christopher that none of his dad's girlfriends would ever replace his mom. This once again firmly places Buck in the category of an irreplaceable parent for Christopher.
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This is another callback to season 3, the last time Buck and Eddie fought over the lawsuit, and Buck "making it about himself". This is a consistent character flaw in Buck, and at least now all of the characters can recognize it for what it is. It's also a callback to the 3x09 scene "You're gonna make it about you? again?" But see the thing is, I don't really think Buck was making Tommy and Eddie's friendship about him. I think he was hit with a rush of fear of missing out on what he and Eddie could be, and because he still didn't have the words to explain what exactly that meant, it came out in the only way he could think to communicate it: through trying to get Eddie's attention like a little kid pulling a girl's pigtails. It's unhealthy, yes, but it's all Buck really knows at this point.
Tommy admits that he was also jealous, not exactly of Buck and Eddie, but of the 118 and how they've built an unbreakable family bond that only came to be right after he left. Tommy wanted to be a part of that, and oh boy, if that's something Buck can relate to. The specific black hole craving to find a family that accepts you.
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And I absolutely believe that Buck is curious about Tommy, does want to be his friend, and does think he's super cool and probably thinks he's super hot and attractive as well. But the vibe I'm getting here is that Buck is seeking out in Tommy what he craves from Eddie.
Go to part 4 for the last part I swear!!
Part 4. Part 1, Part 2.
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pigtailedgirl · 19 days
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Oh @diabolicalfiend you mentioned you hadn't seen people parallel Ray and Caroline Fraser before. I know it was in my old flist but maybe wasn't as mainstream.
So I gif!
Also I get it's very sub-textual, in say comparison to the Bob and Buck, and friendships or partnerships they use for both Rays.
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Scene setting: Fraser freaking out about driving the Riv and all flustered. Cause Ray's got himself in trouble and in danger going to prison alone. Fraser has the opportunity to transfer back to Canada, has told no one, and which by episode's end he rejects BTW. Bolded Caroline section.
Robert: So we're off then. [he looks at the transfer papers] 
Fraser: Do you mind! This is private. 
Robert: I don't know about you but I could use a change of scenery. 
Fraser: What possible difference could scenery make in your condition?
Robert: Well I always liked a good view. 
Fraser: What? Barren rocks and snow? 
Robert: You used to climb those rocks. 
Fraser: I still do. 
Robert: Well let's choose one then [pulls out a map] 
Fraser: Dad, I don't have time for this. I'm in the middle of a case. 
Robert: Oh. Lord Nelson. Your mother and I had a cabin. One bedroom with stove and all the coal she could carry and 360 degree view of the strip mines. 
Fraser: Sounds attractive. 
Robert: Three months and your mother was a raving lunatic. Then we moved on to Nelson Port, Nelson House. The names alone drove her around the bend. We finally ended up in Rat River. Oh I have fond memories of the Rat. Your mother didn't.
Fraser: I can imagine. 
Robert: Gotta look ahead son, not back. 
Fraser: I haven't left yet. 
Robert: You will. 
Caroline doing all the heavy lifting lifting you say? "Why do I always have to be the fulcrum?" and North Ray Vecchio lol. Hating the names? The difference between Tuktoyaktuk and a Runamukluck? Was that downtown Inuvik? Bindlestitch Benny? Or just how much Ray insults Fraser's apartment lol.
BUT BEST is traffic tease. They do it in small doses all the time. "That was a stop sign Ray." two second later "That was another stop sign Ray."
Robert Fraser:: I arrested your mother once. 
Fraser: You did not!
Robert Fraser:: Honest to God... I gave her a speeding ticket. 
Fraser: You knew it was her car and you pulled her over anyway? 
Robert Fraser:: No I was sitting right there in the passenger seat. 
Fraser: Get out. 
Robert Fraser:: She was doing 45 in a 30. 
Fraser: Mum? 
Robert Fraser:: I kept telling her I was going to do it and every time I did she kept speeding up. Made absolutely no sense. 
LOL.
And then heartbreak reference.
Muldoon: --Your Mother was a pretty woman, Benton but when I shot her, she dropped like a big old sack of potatoes.
*A literal one minute later*
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tawaifeddiediaz · 11 months
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tbf some of us are complaining about this feeling like eddieana/bucktaylor again because it feels like an unoriginal rehashing of those storylines, not just because of love interests per se
but is it? is it really?
before i say anything, i want to preface by saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about things, and that being disappointed with how the season ends is a valid feeling to have. except the way that this has spiraled through fandom with all these comparisons indicates that no one's really understanding the use of these storylines to begin with. that no one's taking it with any amount of grace, between the constant negativity, review bombing, etc etc and that's why it's frankly annoying.
yes, there was the whole thing about this potentially being the series finale, and if that had happened, it would've sucked, but it didn't. there are still many stories to tell about this whole thing, why not focus on that?
back to your ask:
eddie, this whole season, has spent time fretting and spiraling about not wanting to be alone, now that he's actually in a place to move on from shannon - who, as we've found out this season, has potentially been his only partner before ana.
think about the way that it is only this season that pepa starts to set him up, and that it's only this season that he even considers it, even if it's for his aunt's sake and he wasn't initially happy with it. think about the way he's been going to frank to unravel some of these feelings, that he and chris are talking more openly about shannon, that eddie is allowing himself to feel his grief so he can carry the weight of it better.
marisol, regardless of how anyone feels about her, comes in front of him and he feels a spark of connection with her at the hardware store. and this time, christopher himself encourages eddie to call her, ending the conflict we saw at the beginning of the episode where he was trying to text her.
eddieana and eddiemarisol are very different just on the basis of how he reaches out to her. it remains to be seen how they intend to continue it, but for the purpose of his arc this season, he's taken the step, his son is on board, and he's moving towards a relationship where he feels less of the grief of losing shannon. those are three securities that eddieana did not have, because eddieana was how eddie was trying to move on from shannon's loss, while eddiemarisol is what he's doing now that he already has.
as for bucktaylor - natalia, whether we like it or not, gives buck something that no other character on the show gives, just by virtue of not knowing him. him dying isn't a tragedy to her the way it is to everyone else, and for buck, who's still grappling with the loss of his life and all, that is a big thing for him to find somewhere.
it's easy for us to sit here and say "eddie sees him" or "how does someone who's known him for 3 seconds know him better than all his friends" or "she sounds too fascinated" but buck does not get afforded the same view that we do. he is an unreliable narrator, going through the things that we see from a bird's eye view, almost.
yes, there are multiple parallels between bucktaylor and bucknatalia but again, those are things we see, as viewers. they're not things that buck is going to notice right off the bat.
that ending scene with the couch - if we absolutely must with this specific interpretation of the theory - ali and taylor both came with couches. this is one where he's taking an active role in purchasing it for his apartment, an active role in pursuing something that'll make him happy. will it pan out? who knows. but where his story stands right now, it's miles different from where buck and taylor where at the end of s4.
and if it's buddie goggles that we're trying to view this through, then i absolutely do understand the disappointment, but with s7 coming up, and so much more for them to flesh out (because 911 does sometimes spread storylines across multiple seasons), there's going to be a lot more to come.
anyway this got very long, but my point basically is that i don't understand how this feels like they're rehashing storylines because when i take a look at the path towards the decision they made with ana and taylor vs marisol and natalia, it couldn't be more different.
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moonstonediaz · 2 years
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before you read, yes i’m making all of this about eddie.
so i just rewatched 5x09 and the beginning with gabi and chloe was always very loud in terms of buddie parallels. but now that we know eddie is returning to texas—a place he essentially ran away from—i thought this was interesting:
gabi to chloe - “bad breakup. she said i was weak and didn’t know how to face my problems.”
this has so many delicious parallels. gabi’s comment can be paralleled to eddie’s breakup with ana and the extremely rude way she pointed out eddie’s panic attacks “you’re fine, right? not gonna pass out?” it can also parallel eddie enlisting in the army and going for a second tour after christopher was born. eddie always brushing everything off, and not facing his problems.
chloe - “you did the right thing—moving out here. whoever she was, she’s in your rear view now.”
and chloe reassures gabi that she did the right thing by moving out here, leaving her past in the rear view which is what eddie did by leaving texas and finding a new family in LA.
so in this episode, cleverly titled “past is prologue”—a phrase that basically means that history sets the context for the present—we see clive and toni reunite after 30 years. but hen meets clive first and he had this to say about toni:
clive - “you catch enough shrapnel and eventually you don’t want to leave any part of yourself exposed.”
the use of the word shrapnel is extremely interesting here because it immediately makes me think of eddie and his military background. (war being the most common place to risk getting hit by shrapnel). and also this whole statement is extremely eddie-coded. eddie very rarely lets people inside with him to get close to him and christopher. he’s very protective and always seems to have his shields up. but anyway hen and clive’s conversation continues:
hen - “so, if you knew my mom back then, you probably knew my dad too.”
clive - “he was the shrapnel.”
the father in this scenario is the shrapnel, the person that’s causing the pain. the person that’s standing in the way of ultimate happiness. and in 5x17 eddie travels back to texas to try and reconcile with his father i— ramon diaz i am screaming at you
so later on, when hen is telling buck and eddie this story, eddie’s eating it up. he says his abuela would love the story, but it’s clear he’s interested too. it screams that eddie loves a good love story and, deep down, wants that for himself. he does love a good telenovela
a few days later when hen is talking to toni about clive and pressing her about why they didn’t get together, we get these lines from toni:
“the past is the past for a reason. it’s best just to leave it there.”
“he asked me to run away with him. when clive talked about the future we could have together, i saw it. and i wanted it with my whole heart.”
that last line absolutely destroys me because it’s so clear how much she wished she could have that life with him (honorable mention of heart!) but then she found out she was pregnant and backed down. so she gave up her romantic love for the good of her child.
“i was willing to leave my husband. but i couldn’t walk out on the father of my child.”
and isn’t that the eddie parallel of the century. of course, we don’t know who eddie was before christopher or who he was before he married shannon, but make no mistake. there was a life that eddie saw for himself that was ultimately changed by having a child.
and in this same conversation with toni, hen says:
“maybe the future that you glimpsed back then,maybe is now. and all you need to do is step into it.”
hmm, haven’t we heard something similar before. maybe...idk…the advice bobby gave buck when abby was struggling with her mom:
“what she needs is for you to step inside with her”
and we’ve seen buck stepping inside with eddie, breaking down the door during eddie’s breakdown, and several times since then.
so if the surprise wedding in 5x18 is indeed between clive and toni…and toni finally gets to have the life that she dreamed of after 30 years…and eddie finally realizes what he wants his future to look like…and buck finally understands what he wants in a relationship…do i need to say it?
bonus:
if i remember correctly, buck is still going to push eddie to talk about the shooting before season 5 ends. chloe and gabi parallel the shooting a LOT in this episode, but at the end, chloe wakes up in the hospital and gabi is still there. in which gabi is buck and chloe is eddie:
gabi - “i’m not sure what you remember…”
chloe - “you saved my life.”
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littlespoonevan · 1 year
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I posted 7,036 times in 2022
993 posts created (14%)
6,043 posts reblogged (86%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@finduilasclln
@fraddit
@stationoneeighteen
@hattalove
@buckactuallys
I tagged 7,036 of my posts in 2022
#0 - 5,554 posts
#evan buckley - 2,691 posts
#eddie diaz - 2,515 posts
#buddie - 1,800 posts
#911 spoilers - 1,122 posts
#parallels - 676 posts
#asks - 669 posts
#the 118 - 527 posts
#chimney han - 495 posts
#henrietta wilson - 473 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#'they do of course – arms brushing together with each step they take – and buck thinks to himself that this is the way it’s supposed to be.'
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
knowing the 118 do four way calls like a bunch of sixteen year old girls in a 90s teen movie has brought me more joy than i can ever possibly say
782 notes - Posted November 29, 2022
#4
something struck me rewatching buck begins that i don’t think i ever really noticed before: when buck tells the team about daniel and the ways he used to put himself in danger to get his parents’ attention eddie’s immediate reaction is, “This explains so much about you.”
and like, he says it in a joking manner and the others definitely echo the sentiment but there’s something about that being eddie’s first reaction and then him specifically being the one to say he understood why buck stayed behind in the factory fire later on in the episode
because the thing is, eddie always knows what buck is thinking. he knew what buck needed in 3x01 to get him out of bed. he knew buck would be spiralling and blaming himself in 3x03 and how to make him stop. he knew why buck was acting the way he was in 3x18 when it came to trying to save sam. he knew in 4x04 why buck was so upset with his parents and what to say to validate his feelings. he’s always known buck, has always been able to guess his motivations and his reactions better than anyone else on the team - it’s why they make such good partners
but it’s not until 4x05 that this further context slots into place and changes things because he’s always known buck but now he understands so painfully clearly just about every single facet of who buck is as a person. and the fact that this carries on throughout the season, the fact that it ends in the will reveal, is so??????? there are so many people in buck’s life who have either unwittingly enabled or misjudged his self destructive tendencies. his parents missed the cry for help over and over again. abby and taylor both unconsciously reinforced the notion that people only care when he’s in danger/sacrificing himself. even the 118 who love and cherish buck so dearly don’t always understand the full extent of why he acts the way he does
but we’re shown over and over again that eddie gets it???????? and listen i’ve said it ten million times but the way s4 contrasts “you think you’re indestructible but you’re not” and “you’re not invincible” with “you act like you’re expendable but you’re wrong” is forever going to make me lose it
three sentences, all basically holding the same sentiment on the surface, but the word choice in all three so clearly demonstrates how the other characters view buck. and the only one that’s right, that gets it, that knows is eddie
i think with everything in s5 i sort of forgot just how much of buck and eddie’s scenes in s4 consist of eddie quietly observing buck. sandwiched between the kind of scenes we got in s3 and s5 it’s certainly a more subtle approach to their dynamic but god, there is something so fucking special about the fact that s4 buddie is just an ode to, “To be seen, to be found, isn’t that what we’re all searching for?”
904 notes - Posted August 15, 2022
#3
it’s like. yeah, we exaggerate in fic. yeah, we take throwaway lines or scenes and run with them until we’ve made them into a Thing
but there’s something about the, for lack of a better word, hints 911 gives sometimes.
“chim invites maddie, maddie invites buck, buck invites eddie”
“this is eddie’s house, i’m not really a guest” even though we’ve only seen buck there once prior to that episode
chris calling buck to overhear eddie finding the hildy coffee maker, letting us know at some point they conspired together without eddie knowing
“Probably just as well, after you told him that little thing about the kid in the rotisserie” “That was not a story that was a cautionary tale” 
chris going to buck when he’s mad at eddie
chris’ complete non reaction when buck shows up in his room in 4x14 like it’s so normal to see him there that it takes a minute for chris to notice something is wrong
buck making the very correct assumption that chris would be more comfortable/happy staying home with him than going anywhere else while eddie is in hospital
buck coming to greet christopher at the firehouse and picking him up/hugging him in the exact same way eddie does
“he takes christopher there [the zoo] all the time. got the place memorised” even though the last time we’ve seen buck and chris doing an activity on their own was the tsunami episodes
buck at the diaz dining table eating with such ease and familiarity like he doesn’t even need to make conversation because they do this all the time
it’s just. it’s all small stuff, y’know? but it hints at a closeness and a familiarity and a comfort far beyond what we will ever see on the show and it bowls me over sometimes bc in a way it feels Bigger than all the #important moments bc it’s just an accepted part of the narrative. it exists to paint a picture for us. to tell us they’re a unit. they’re a family. and it’s not once, not ever, been questioned since s2 and i am on the Floor
961 notes - Posted March 24, 2022
#2
me watching camila mendes stare straight into the camera and say “peaking in high school is cringe anyway” while brutal by olivia rodrigo blares in the background: now that’s cinema!
2,086 notes - Posted September 25, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
what, in your opinion, is the best onscreen kiss of all time??? not so much in a ‘this is my otp so i love their first kiss’ kind of way. as in, what’s the kiss you look at - whether it be bc of the soundtrack or the setting or the outfit choice or the leadup or the symbolism - and you think, that is a Damn good kiss?????
4,986 notes - Posted January 27, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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mintedwitcher · 1 year
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Look, I'm not saying that I want Buck to suffer more, we all know that boy has been through enough trauma, but I'm just saying, he's been steadfastly in denial for way too long, he hasn't actually addressed any of his more recent traumas (most notably, the shooting) and I just need him to like.... break for a minute.
I need him to have his breaking point. Eddie had his when he found out that his convoy, the people he saved, are dead. He's had his breaking point and he's been healing from that. Now I need that for Buck.
Sure we could say that Buck learning about Daniel and the fact that he's a saviour baby could be that point but I don't think it is.
I think Buck's breaking point is going to be about the sperm donor arc. We know that the Buckleys have a family history of leukemia, we know that it's prevalent enough that Maddie was worried about Jee inheriting that gene.
So this is what I want for this arc: I want there to be some revelation of defects in Buck's sample (either due to the leukemia gene OR due to the fact that Buck was abstinent for WAY too long (recommended time frame is 2-7 DAYS, not 4+ weeks)). I want there to be a decision made, either by the clinic or by Connor and Kameron, that the sperm can't/won't be used. Knowing everything we do about Buck, he's going to take it personally. He'll see it as a personal failure on his part (which, tbh, the abstinence IS kinda a personal failing on his part bc there's no way that the doctors involved wouldn't have warned him about the ideal abstinence period, if his sample is rejected for genetic reasons, that's not a deliberate failure but Buck will still view it as one) and that will be his breaking point.
Because, as he sees it, he exists to help people. He was literally born to save someone's life, and he failed. He has based his self worth, his sense of self, on being in a job where he saves lives. It's why he celebrates the calls that have no casualties, and why the losses hit him so much harder. Buck wants, at his core, to help people. It's why he agreed to be a donor in the first place. See a need, fill a need. We've seen that exact pattern from him over and over again right from the start.
So to be told that he can't? And that it's not something he can fix, but something so inherent as his own genes? That, I think, will break him.
Compounding that with his other unprocessed traumas and how he views them, how he heaps blame on himself to spare others the weight, this will very easily be Buck's breaking point.
And when Buck breaks, my only request is that we get a parallel scene, with Eddie being the one to jump into Buck's mess, the way Buck jumped right into Eddie's.
I just need Buck to progress past his denial and move towards healing, because the longer it goes on, the worse it's going to be.
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romegaketh · 2 years
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hello! i'm currently obsessed with "oh lord, it really brings me down" - the whole fic is constructed so nicely and i love the supernatural take on what adam page is going through, as well as the allocations of adam to buck. are there any moments that you wanted to write into it, but ultimately decided not to?
ah, anon, this is so kind! i love that fic very much and am v proud of it: i am thrilled it has managed to also mean something to you. under the cut i will ramble a bit but i also wanted to say i do not bite (unlike adam cole) and i am always thrilled to have people in my dms <3 u are totally welcome to pop in anytime u like <3
firstly cannot let a comment about the structure go without rhapsodising over the efforts of ao3 user eggshellseas who truly saved me!!! i was like "please help me" and she was like "ya, here u go" and then like. it all made sense. her mind!!!! incredible stuff. i am breathlessly, desperately, on tenterhooks (no pressure tho) waiting for her to write some kenny/adam page w gloating vampire adam cole, which is, to me, the platonic ideal of Good Soup.
ok, so. i think the strength of that fic is how strongly anchored it is in nick's point of view. it's a good pov and nick's repression carries a lot of the horror beats because his denial is a solid 1/3 to 1/2 of the creeping unpleasantness in there! like ya adam cole is a vampire eating people but also, what the fuck is up with nick? nothing good, (baybay). however, the exclusivity of nick's pov and his desire to Not See Anything Bad Ever means we really only see a construction of adam that nick is building for himself - until the very end, obviously, when that construction falls apart, and nick is reminded, unpleasantly, that adam is a real person and he has a Real Agenda, he's not just a space upon which nick can localize his ~desire and then avoid it.
the nature of kyle and bobby is a big one i left out, just because nick doesn't care about them! he's not interested! he's interested in if/when they are dangerous to adam/him, but otherwise, he's busy. but i did think about them (and talk about them!). they're not vampires and adam thinks they are in thrall to him because they drink his blood, but they came out on their own and they hang out with adam because they want to. though he probably does have some influence on them, and he wouldn't, like, be totally helpless or without recourse if kyle tried to turn on him. he's got leverage.
i would say the other big one is that nick never makes it explicit that he like, Sexually Desires Adam Cole. and how much adam knows that. (parallel to the depth to which matt desires Adam Page, and the ways in which they have partitioned off desire and allowed it to be separate in that way.) i love repression i think it's very interesting narratively and i think it is an interesting component of the way the bucks present themselves! in this fic the bucks are like pretty carefully tacitly policing each other and allowing like, certain kinds of affection to be made tactile and acceptable whereas other kinds are not. i feel like adam cole knows and thinks it's funny and adam page doesn't know or reads it as something that's a joke about him instead of like, matt sincerely being into him and refusing to accept that about himself.
eggshellseas would probably say how much kenny knows! i think kenny knows a bit more than he's letting on. i like the idea of the bucks thinking of themselves as grandmasters and being super super politicking and proactive, but sometimes they forget that other people are able to move in that way too - the same way they sometimes forget that they're separate people with separate agendas (and separate adams, lmao). kenny i don't think is quite as unaware of whatever it is adam is doing to him as they think: he's also, phantom thread style, comfortable with taking a little damage to make everyone else happy. (especially to let the bucks take care of him. they gotta!!! they love him!!!)
oh also adam is definitely doing a lot of murder. like, they caught him eating a guy one time and that guy was fine? no. he is doing flirt w closeted guys then eat them, and he is doing it En Masse. he's just not doing it at work anymore.
if there's anything in particular you are curious about please feel free to ask! mm, vampires.
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kitkatpancakestack · 3 years
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This post by @yramesoruniverse really got me thinking about Eddie's self-image.
I mean, we talk about Buck having self-worth issues, but Eddie? Good God. It's tragic in an entirely different way. I am not discounting Buck's character at all, let me be clear, and I have written metas about how beautiful and important it is, but Eddie's deserves a little love, too.
Buck is able to be a bit more loud with his insecurities, a bit more obvious. Eddie gets to hide behind his son. He gets to smile and talk about how much he loves his kid and rock the whole single dad thing and completely distract from the fact that none of this love is directed inward. Christopher is the mediating variable of Eddie's worth. In Eddie's eyes, Christopher confers a value on his life that wouldn't otherwise exist. Eddie is only palatable to the world by extension of his son, and so we have thus far seen all of his major plotlines circle around Christopher. I'm not saying this is bad, because he's a single parent and that's a huge part of his character's identity, I'm just saying it reveals a lot about him.
There have been god-tier metas out there about Eddie's relationship to his body, which I think also plays a huge role in this. His clinical approach to physical maintenance is driven by necessity. Keep himself in shape enough to be there for his son, to provide for his son, to not let his son down. None of it is self-care. None of it is selfish. None of it is for him.
I don't know where they plan to take Eddie's character, but at least from what I've seen during season 4 (especially the end), it feels like a shift inward. I can't think of a better story for Eddie than him allowing himself to exist in the world as a person who can ask for things. Who can need things, for himself, separate from his son. Who can reflect on his family and think what does Chris want? and then follow it up with What do I want? Something about him and Buck and the will scene just drips with insinuation. I think granting Buck permanency in his life was a huge, telling step in this road for doing things for himself. He held that information for a year, yes because he didn't want to burden Buck, but also because it was a purely selfish action he did for himself, one that was so unaligned with his existing perception of himself, and he probably needed the series of events from mid-S3 to the S4 finale to come to terms with it.
Idk man. Idk. I just love this stupid man so much. What a character. S5 better treat him well.
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sugako · 3 years
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my roommate’s toys
kuroo x f!reader
sum: after listening to you, his roommate, get off on her toys most nights kuroo comes home early to accidentally find you when you weren’t expecting
cw: 18+ mdni, nsfw, smut, slight voyeurism (dub/non-con, kuroo listening to you masturbate), mentions of male masturbation, female masturbation, toy use (dildo, vibrator), oral (receiving), size kink, creampie, some aftercare, roommates to lovers
wc: 2.4k 
a/n: i just had a teeny tiny thot and suddenly it was like 5 pages long, but mostly all just pure smut 
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If by some miracle you had been able to hear the front door open, you still probably wouldn’t have stopped. You knew he might be home late. That was what he said at least the night before, work was busy and he might be home late. Might, in your opinion, was a strong word that turned out to be a complete, accidental lie. 
Kuroo really had thought he was going to be home a little later than usual, only telling you because he knew you wanted to watch some movie with him that night. Instead, he got even his extra work done all before he had to punch out. When he walked in, the house was a little quieter than normal. You weren’t in the main room of the apartment, the television wasn’t on, the shower wasn’t running, there was nothing for only a moment. The second he got his shoes off he heard you. 
Pitchy moans barely quieted by the thin walls of the apartment hung heavy in the air. This wasn’t the first time he had heard you, of course. Sometimes late at night or in the bright hours of the morning, he would hear your quick breaths, muted vibrations, and occasional wet slaps. His hand would snake down to hold onto his remarkably hard erection, driven solely by the thought of you. The first time he had regretted it, felt awful after he came all over his stomach to the sounds of your sighs, but now it felt like part of his routine. 
Now felt different. He longed to hear you and see you, to really see you. It would be an accident, he decided, feet already padding toward your door. Ever so slowly, he dragged a knuckle down the surface just above the handle, but the subtle noise didn’t alert you. 
He had said “might”, which you had taken as “would definitely”. This was why you were backed up against the wall above your headboardless bed with a dildo hilted in you, rocking back and forth on it, grappling for your vibrator, knowing you needed to finish soon before he got back. 
“Hey, I saw-!” His voice cut off at the sight before him, so much more than he had imagined. Parallel to his frame of vision, he got the perfect view of you being split open by a dildo suctioned to the wall behind you. It was a light pink, almost clear, completely coated in your slick. 
The moment was extremely brief as, within the next tenth of a second, you rushed to cover up with a blanket, kneeling with your back flush to the wall. The blanket you had recklessly tossed over yourself barely covered your back or ass, but it was worth the try. 
“Tetsurō!” You squealed, motioning to the door. He was motionless, mouth gaping like a fish out of water. “What are you doing?! Go!” Your entire body burned in pure shame and embarrassment, completely unable to look at him but knowing he was still right there. 
“I… what if…” he cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. He had practiced these silly cliche words time and time again in his head, always imagining it would come down to this, but not knowing his dream would turn into reality tonight. “I can help you.” He said with as much cool confidence as he could muster. 
“That’s not funny. Just… just go so we can pretend this never happened.” You stumbled over your words, tears welling up in your eyes as you tried to imagine this wasn’t real. He took careful note of how you were trembling, nerves melting away.
“I’m not joking.” He said evenly. “I hear you all the time and now I come home to you basically screaming while you fuck yourself on a dumb, little toy. I want to help you.” 
Finally, you looked at him again. His eyes were hardened, stuck exactly on you with a steely expression. Your chest heaved a little faster and you were suddenly acutely aware of how naked you were under the plush blanket and the toy still tucked inside of you. 
It wasn’t difficult to admit to yourself that he was handsome and you had certainly thought of him other than a roommate in the past. The words were stuck in the back of your throat like putty, “Um, I…” 
“Yes or no?” He kept his eyes straight on you, never wavering. The answer was simple you just had to get it out. 
“Yes.” You finally said with a small nod. Kuroo couldn’t begin to hold back his small grin as he closed the door behind himself and advanced toward the bed. It dipped with his weight when he sat on the edge, forcing you to shift around the toy. 
“Why don’t you start with taking that blanket off?” He trailed the back of his hand down your cheek, watching your teary eyes clear up as they filled with want rather than embarrassment. 
“Yeah, just let me,” you gulped, trying not to wince while you pulled yourself off the fake cock. 
His throat went dry when he realized what you had just done. Before the blanket could slip past your shoulders, he grabbed you and forced his lips against yours. It felt so natural, you cursed yourself for not having tried anything months ago. Tongues met each other in a messy, impassioned war, that you ultimately just let him win for the sake of his ego. 
When he leaned you back on the bed, you had almost forgotten all about the toy still suctioned to the wall until it bumped the back of your head. Kuroo held back a chuckle but pulled it off the wall anyhow. You opened your mouth to tell him where to put it, quickly stopped by the cool, damp tip pressing against your lips. 
“Think of this as a warm-up before the better and bigger things.” He purred while he pressed it deeper and deeper into your mouth, watching the pink plastic slip inch by inch into your mouth. Sucking lightly, you cleaned it, greedily tasting yourself, while he slowly and shallowly pumped it and out of your lips. 
At last, when he pulled it away and saw the pornographic string of spit that connected your lolled, panting tongue to the narrow tip, he thought he was going to lose it. The next words you said didn’t help either. 
“Bigger?” You whined quietly, concern and excitement etched onto your face. Groaning into your neck, he carefully tossed the toy toward the bottom of the bed. 
“I’d say so, but you can be the judge.” Needing to unbutton his pants to relieve some pressure, he sat back up, making sure to pull the blanket completely off of you. “At least you’re a little prepped, but I think I can do more.” 
In less than a moment, he had slinked between your legs, spreading your thighs wide with your knees draped over his broad shoulders. The first, hurried lap against your folds made you twitch against him involuntarily. Your hands immediately found his messy hair and grabbed on to steady yourself as he found your clit. 
“Mmhm, you sound better in person than you do behind a wall.” He mumbled against you before he went back to lapping you up. 
“Why…ah, why were you listening?” Too blissed out to feel embarrassed anymore, you barely felt a twinge of shame at his comment. 
“Wasn’t listening, you’re just too fucking loud. And these walls are thin.” Kuroo rolled his eyes, trying to keep his focus all on how you were squirming under him, hips bucking against his face as you chased release. 
Eyebrows knit, you tug a little harder on his hair, forcing a deep groan out of his that vibrates against you. “Should’ve told me,” you gasp when he gives your clit a hard suck, “told me before.” 
“And not get this show?” Is the last quip he mutters back at you before his tongue flashes across your clit, forcing the growing coil in the pit of your stomach to snap. Completely out of your control, your hips grind and tremor against his face even though he has a tight hold of your legs. 
While you struggle to recuperate under his, he’s tearing away the layers he still has on. His tie is somewhere near your side, button-up tossed on the floor, pants and boxers shucked to the foot of the bed, threatening to slide off. Blinking away the haze, you finally get a good look at him. The look is more than good. 
Your eyes rake down his build, slim but obviously very fit for someone who works in an office. It’s obvious that you’re not being conspicuous, but you can’t help it, especially not when he was being honest about his ‘warm-up’ comment. 
“My eyes are up here,” he chuckles before engulfing you and pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “How do you want me?” 
“Huh?” 
“This is all for you, so how do you want me? Want me to fuck you like this?” His eyes flickered up and down your close bodies. “Or do you want to be on top? I could pick you up. Maybe from behind like you had that dumb, little toy stuffed in you?” He watches as your breath silently hitches at the last comment. “Tell me.” 
“Y-yeah, want you, um, behind.” You choke out, feeling his hard cock brush against your thigh as he sits back on his heels again. Before he can instruct you, you’re already on your hands and knees, chest pressed into the mattress. 
He’s glad you can’t see the way he slowly blinks at the sight of your pretty ass and the curve of your back. It almost doesn’t feel real. His perfect, cute roommate all splayed out, drooling cunt exposed and begging to be fucked by him.
Soothing a hand over your lower back, he pulls you back by the hips to line himself up, eliciting a little squeak from you as you’re jostled across the blankets. He presses his tip to your entrance, fingertips digging into your ass, as he slowly presses himself in. When he hears you whimper, clenching around him when he’s only halfway in, he pauses, letting you settle. 
“Shh, it’s okay, you can do this. Relax.” He grunts, gently easing in another slow inch. 
You’re so wet you’re already dripping cum along your thighs and down onto the sheets, but it isn’t enough to quell the stretch he gives you. 
“Just so big,” you cry, trying to focus on relaxing while he splits you open. “Feels so good though.” 
“I know, I know.” 
He’s grateful that you’re holding your body so well, otherwise, he was worried he might just collapse on top of you now. Finally, he’s bottomed out, heavy balls resting against the top of your plush thighs. 
“Please…” You sputter out, gently moving your hips back against his. “Want you to fuck me hard, please, Tetsu.” 
He can’t say no to that. He also can’t say much of anything, transfixed on the way you’re creaming around his cock, pretty white ring already settled around his base before he gets more than three strokes in. The first few times he thrusts against you are light, he’s still easing you in, but by the fifth or sixth he’s slamming against you and picking up speed with each second that passes. 
You’re whimpering and moaning in the sheets, going slack as his hands work in tandem with his hips to pull you off of him and bring you right back so he can slam in even harder. The front of his thighs slap against your ass, the smack echoing in the room along with the slick squelches from where your bodies meet one another. 
“Like being fucked by a real cock?” He grunts out, hands grappling through the sheets for something he saw earlier.
“So good, yeah,” you whine, words barely stringing into a coherent sentence. “A lot better.” 
“Wanna cum on a real cock?” 
The loud whir of your vibrator makes you clench around him and whimper out some more nonsense. “Ye-eah, wanna cum. Wanna cum on your cock. Want you to cum in me.” 
His entire body flares at your words, but he keeps up his bruising pace and reaches around to press the vibe to your swollen clit. “Don’t worry, I’ll fill you up with everything I have, baby. You just gotta cum first.”
The latter part is easy. Already so sensitive and so full now, the vibrator makes easy work of you, forcing you up and over that ledge once again. Your pussy flutters around his length, holding on so hard it nearly forces him to still, but he pushes through. He turns the vibe off, letting you settle before he really starts pounding into you, so close to his own release.  
Your torso is slack, hips only held up by pure will and his hands that drag you along his cock like a ragdoll. A slurred string of praises to him, how good he feels, how good you feel drip out of your mouth like honey. You’re not even sure if he can really hear you, but you keep going until you feel him twitch inside of you and hold your ass flush to himself before strings of his cum splatter against your insides.
There’s so much filling you up, you feel hot, sticky drips trail down the inside of your thigh. Kuroo, a panting, flushed mess behind you, watches when he slips his softening cock out of you and his white cum slowly leaks from your still quivering entrance. 
Daze finally breaking, he reaches up and grabs some tissues beside your bed and gives you a rough clean-up before he does himself, throwing the messy tissue toward the small bin in the corner of your room. 
You let yourself fall to your stomach, lazily rolling over and pulling the blanket over your chin, motioning for him to get under as well. He complies, with a small, goofy grin, and snuggles close to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to hoist you closer. 
“Good?” He asks quietly. 
“Very good.” You grin, taking his face in your hands to push his stray hairs out of his eyes before you press a kiss to his forehead. 
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matan4il · 2 years
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I'm not gonna lie last night I actually felt just a little gross after that episode. But the few positives I got from it is I didnt really realize how much resentment in defense for Buck I still had for when he was blocked from coming back. The fact they are revisting it with Eddie and dear God please let him tell Buck, it gives me the feels. Like I hope Buck goes to bat for him.
Also the clear parallels between Madney and Buddie and also so evident. Tbey are both still on the same journey and Eddies comment about how Buck didnt know more then Chimney about Maddie seem way more relevant now. Because we know that Buck will be with Eddie.
Even on a small side note. The Red momemt came full circle. After the rope rescue Buck tried to get the crew to go out and he ended up alone. This time after the big news worthy moment there was a group but it wasnt what he really wanted or needed.
Basically this is gonna be a full circle beautiful story. Or I will want to light a dumpster on fire by the end of it.
And one final note. I see some posters trying to call out Bucky fans about the cheating. Listen, it honestly made me pissed and sick. I hated it. But I'm not excusing it or saying it was ok. I honestly had to view this episode as Taylor and Buck and what was happening with Buck and Eddie. In this episode Buck was the one person who was trying with Eddie and wanted to see him, he didnt do anything bad to him. The cheating Hopefully just breaks up B&T faster because it is a toxic relationship.
Hi Nonnie! I feel you, it was rough watching Buck and Lucy at the pub, but then I believe it was meant to be, so I guess that's the show doing its job well...
Oh, Eddie's comment regarding Madney about how a romantic partner knows a person best while he and Buck know each other better than anyone (which was THE THEME in both 504 as well as in the recent 511) was just SO FUCKING LOUD.
And God, yes. Plus back then, in 316, Buck was left alone while Eddie tried to invite him along, and in contrast in 511, Eddie was on the outside despite Buck trying to tell him that he belongs on the team...
I think Buck needs to get to be the one who leaves for his own sake during this r/s with Taylor, see it's not working out and choose himself. I guess the direction 911 decided to go in is showing that despite the insights he's reached in the past, he's still not in a place where he can walk away from someone who wants him, even if he's unhappy. The cheating and lying about it will force the issue, so he can see the damage that does to himself and to others.
Thank you so much for the ask, I enjoyed it very much, I hope you enjoyed my reply, too! xoxox
(HEY, if it takes me a moment to reply to an ask, it's 'coz I'm juggling work overload and medical stuff. If I got it, I will reply to it! You can always check my ask tag. Thank you for understanding! xoxox)
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strappingyoungbuck · 3 years
Text
just the fact that. since the start of the show, a major part of buck's storyline relates to romantic and sexual relationships. the fact that he recognised constant one night stands weren't healthy for either party so he made the conscious effort to change. and it paid off! he had a good thing with abby, he matured for her and emphasised his best qualities in putting her first, being responsible and kind. and it gained him stability and, briefly, a home! he felt so comfortable he was very quickly practically moving in with her.
and he recognised that he needed a solid foundation to build up to a relationship like that. the fact that he held back, spent all that time talking to her on the phone, helped with her mother. they knew each other before their relationship really began and that's why he was so content with her.
and then abby had to put herself first. which she could have handled better than just leaving buck alone in her apartment but really. was buck actually fully oblivious to the end of their relationship or was he just hanging on to a good thing after it was already gone?
and then there's ali. i don't know how much there is to say there but i think it's key that she was never around for extended periods. buck had just finished a very emotionally intense relationship, probably his first serious relationship, so it seems the way he and ali started dating does make sense for him. but like. what really stands out for me is that he moved into his apartment For Ali. she pushed for him to stop living like such a bachelor and have his own space, only it was meant to be a space with her in mind. so, i don't think anyone really should have been surprised that he's so lonely. he's literally living alone in an apartment meant for a couple.
and so we see buck grow from someone completely reckless, irresponsible, living in a shared house to a man intentionally getting his life together not just for his sake but for the sake of the people around him. he's someone who can provide a sofa for people to sleep on, instead of relying on chim or maddie. he goes to therapy because he wants to be better, for his own sake. he steps up.
and then there's eddie. who is simply the logical culmination of buck's romance arc. there's that initial reckless jealousy, some remnant of buck 1.0 that rears its head, which switches in the course of one episode to complete loyalty and unfailing support. he meets christopher, he loves christopher, and he almost kills himself trying to keep christopher safe. he provides eddie with the support to put christopher in a good school, with someone to look after christopher whilst he works. they barely know each other and buck helps with the person most important to eddie, it's not exactly a subtle parallel to the beginnings of his relationship with abby.
and they're best friends! (oh my god they were best friends.) it's like everything with abby amplified by a thousand, because they know each other intimately, they risk their lives for each other. buck feels comfortable at eddie's home ("i'm not exactly a guest").
and the lawsuit is awful but. it's like watching a break-up where neither party realised they were in a relationship. it's like how ali couldn't handle the risks of buck's work so she left in case one day buck didn't come home, but eddie lived through that. buck wasn't there and eddie lost his co-parent and his confidante. but eddie forgives and buck sees how much he's really hurting and they can talk about it because buck Sees eddie.
abby left because she didn't know who she was after giving so much of herself away, and following both eddie begins and buck begins, both the characters and the audience understand about as much about eddie and buck as we're ever going to, really. there's a solid sense of self, lots of personal progression, and it is literally only logical from buck's point of view to end up with eddie, who knows ("i know you did") that buck has to take the risks he does, and who won't ever up and leave him (he was the first the run in and grab the rope!).
and buck has proved time and again he is a capable and worthy co parent for christopher ("there is no one i trust more"). he consistently steps up for christopher and for eddie. shannon left because she needed time, because she feared being married to eddie made her a worse mother. with buck, being with eddie makes them both better parents and better partners. they have each others backs!
like. don't do it for me, fox. do it for the narrative.
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buckys-black-dress · 3 years
Text
a fine line, part five
a/n: pushin this baby out fast as shit cuz i made yall wait like 2 weeks for part 4, and bc i’m in a writing kick rn and i’m trying to make the most of it... so here i am feeding you, my children. eat up! love you all, xoxo -ali <3
wc: 2.7k 
warning!!! there is smut in this chapter: oral (f receiving) !!!
-
Your head felt fuzzy, like you were underwater or like you were up in the sky floating.
That’s what looking in Bucky’s eyes felt like.
“You okay, Y/N?” Bucky’s voice was muffled in your brain. You nodded numbly at him, like you weren’t even present in the current moment. 
“I-I’m fine.” You give him a gentle smile, reassuring him that you were alright.
“You sure? Think I lost you there for a minute...” Bucky’s grinning, because he knows you were lost in your own world for a moment there.
“Yeah, yeah, all good.” You say again.
You were leaned into his side as you two sat for a bit longer and looked at the city, continuing to talk about anything that came to mind.
Your body felt heated, like you were being warmed from the inside out, and you knew it was because of your current situation. Sitting under the stars with Bucky, after eating a full meal and drinking maybe a little more wine than you should’ve, but this was the only place you’d want to be.
“Should we head out soon? I think it’s getting a bit late.” Bucky says, rubbing you arm with his hand that he had around you.
“Yeah, I think it is getting pretty late. Let’s clean up.” You tell him, and he places another peck on your lips, and then another on your forehead before standing up and putting away the items he’d brought.
The giddy smile never wiped off your face, and when Bucky finished packing up and putting the things away in his bike’s compartment, you sat behind him-- no hesitation this time. 
As you hugged Bucky’s torso, you feel the breeze biting your skin, another shiver runs through your body. Bucky feels it before he can even start driving, and before you could say anything, he pulls off his own leather jacket and pulls it through your arms, allowing you to be surrounded by his scent. 
You give him a grateful, shy grin, and he returns it with a sly one while he turns back around to start the bike. 
The drive home was chillier, and you were extremely grateful for Bucky’s jacket around your shoulders. 
-
Soon, you see your apartment building come into view, and as Bucky approaches it, his bike slowly comes to a stop and you feel the engine die as you slowly peel yourself from him. 
“Thank you for tonight, Bucky. I really enjoyed it.” You tell him as he holds your hands in his large ones. 
“Of course, angel. Anything for you.” He says, lifting your joined hands and kissing the tops of yours. You can feel the blush creep up your neck all the way to your cheeks.
You look down in bashfulness, but Bucky’s hand comes to lift your chin up once again, and you get all but sucked into his blue eyes when he comes in to give you another deep, slow kiss.
When you finally pull away for air, what you ask him even shocks you after it comes out of your mouth.
“Would you like to come inside?” 
Silence lingers in the night air, and you feel so dumb for asking the question as his eyes are searching yours.
You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and it was scaring the crap out of you.
“O-or not, I understand if you don’t want to-” You were letting your thoughts take over, immediately trying to take back your suggestion.
But Bucky was kissing you again, effectively shutting you up. 
“I do want to come inside.” He simply says and you nod, turning around to lead him into the building.
The elevator dings and you’re on your floor, Bucky’s hands are still on you. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, but in a good way, when his hands were on you. Wrapped around your waist, holding you flush against his side. 
You reach the door and unlock it, unravelling from his body to search for your keys and slowly shutting it behind you. Lucy was perched upon the the arm of the couch, watching outside the window waiting for you to return, but perked up at the sight of Bucky.
She waits for him to greet her, as royalty does, and he comes to rub his hand over that spot on her head she loves. As she purrs, you watch with affection gleaming in your eyes. This was a sight to be seen. 
“Do you want a drink? Water, tea, beer, wine?” You ask, breaking the silence while moving into the small kitchen.
“A tea would be good, doll.” He tells you, not moving his attention away from the black furball in front of him. 
You quickly put on your kettle and wait for the water to heat up, and you prepare two mugs with green tea bags. 
Bucky sat himself on your couch, making himself comfortable while he waited for you.
You two sat and chatted a bit more over the tea, but you just wanted to be... closer to him. 
You gently placed down the mug on your coffee table, and nudged the remote into your hands.
“Wanna watch a movie?” You ask, and Bucky smiles.
“Sure you’re not gonna fall asleep on me, angel?” 
“I’ll be fine, Buck.” You roll your eyes and smile. The movie plays, and you do something you would’ve never done a few months ago. You scoot closer to Bucky’s frame, allowing for your thighs and arms to be touching. Your heart feels like it’s going to fall into your stomach.
And then, Bucky puts his arm around you, letting you nestle further into his side.
You’re convinced you’re going to die.
Bucky’s hands come to your legs, pulling them over his lap.
Okay, now you’re actually going to die.
“Is this o-okay?” His voice rumbles, and you turn to look at him.
“I- Yes, it’s perfect.” You manage to breathe out. 
You both watch for a while, letting Bucky occasionally kiss you again, and the last kiss gets you more heated than you felt before.
His hand is still around you while the other one runs up and down your side, effectively making you shiver while he moulds his mouth against yours. Your breath is short and you feel your heart trying to escape from your chest. 
Bucky’s hand moves from around you to pull you off his other arm, and he moves you onto his lap. He’s kissing down your neck, finding that sweet spot that makes you let out a moan you’ve never even heard yourself make.
At the sound, Bucky groans, sliding down further in his seat and letting you finally sit down with both legs on either side of him. The only thing separating you from Bucky was your tights and underwear, and that made you nervous.
Very nervous.
He continues his was down to your chest, sucking marks further down where they wouldn’t be visible. One of your dress straps falls down your shoulder, which you don’t even register because Bucky stands up, holding you on him.
“I don’t think we should do this out here... where’s your room?” He asks, gently.
“Right down the hall, on your left.” You say breathily.
But then as he walks and kicks open the door, then shutting it with you against it, it hits you.
Bucky probably wants to have sex with you, right now. And you don’t know if you can handle that, but you don’t want to stop him right now.
He places you on your bed, and right now you’re just thankful you’ve cleaned your house in general this week.
Bucky’s hands move to take off his shirt, and he pauses, catching you staring at his built frame.
“You doing okay?” He asks, and you nod. “I need words, baby.” 
“A-actually, can I... can I tell you something?” You question meekly.
“Of course, Y/N.” Bucky softly tells you, slowing down his movements.
“I- I uhm... I haven’t had sex in a... long time. A-And the last time I did, it wasn’t very... good.” You emphasize the last word, trying to tell him in the simplest terms. 
Bucky remains silent, just watching you, and you don’t know what he’s thinking. 
He probably thinks you’re a prude, y’know. One voice in your head tells you this.
But he did sort of go all out this week. Was that only because he wanted to sleep with you? Another reasons, but plants a new doubt in your head.
“That’s okay, sweetheart.” Bucky interrupts your thoughts before they could get even more intrusive. “Does... does that mean you’ve never...?” He trails off, but you know what he’s asking.
“Uh, n-no, I’ve never had an...” You feel like a child, not even being able to say the word.
“Say it, Y/N.” Bucky says to you.
Your mouth opens and closes like a fish, and you can feel your face becoming hotter.
“C’mon, sugar.” He soothes you, moving your hair from your face in a manner that makes you melt.
“I-I’ve... neverhadanorgasm.” You say in one big breath, and you shut your eyes in embarrassment, your hands coming to cover your face. 
“Y/N, doll, look at me,” Bucky lifts your hands from his face, and he’s laying parallel to you on your bed. His voice is like honey to you, and you’re genuinely not sure how you ended up in this predicament.
“Look at me, hey,” you finally open your eyes and are met with his soft ones, “I don’t care how much or little experience you have. I just want you. And if that means that we go slow, that’s alright.” He explains to you, and you can’t believe that Bucky is even real, sitting here being so patient with you.
“T-Thank you, Bucky. I do, I really do want to, but I just... wanna go slow, for now?” You hated the way you sounded, unsure, and like a teenager with no experience.
“That’s just alright, babe.” You could tell he was being sincere, and your heart swelled at the sight of him.
You are so lucky.
“But, if you don’t want to have sex, I can still make you come.” The dirty smirk returns to his face, and you feel heat pooling between your legs again.
“O-Oh?” You ask, and you weren’t trying to flirt, but it came out in a way that made Bucky harder than he already was before.
“Do you trust me?” He asks, moving to hover overtop you.
“I- yes, I do.” You stutter, suddenly feeling self-conscious. 
“Do you give me permission to eat you out?” 
Your breath catches in your throat at the vulgar question, and you begin coughing into a fit, not believing what you’ve just heard.
“Wh-what?” 
“You heard me.”
“You want to do that? To me?” 
“I wanna make you feel good, so... yeah.” He tells you so simply.
“I- Okay...” You say reluctantly, but letting Bucky do what he feels is right.
“I’m gonna undress you now, okay?”
“O-okay.” 
He’s standing in front of you now, pulling your tights down and motioning for you to sit up.
He pulls off your dress and reveals the soft baby pink lace set you had on, and although you weren’t wearing it with the idea of anyone seeing it-- Bucky lets out a groan that had you breathing harder.
Of course, your first instinct was to cover your stomach. You’ve never been the most confident about your body, and your tummy was just one part that you always continued to struggle with.
“Don’t cover yourself up, bunny. You’re so beautiful.” Bucky moves your hands, looking at the set and your body.
“Bunny? That one’s new.” You say to mask just how nervous you are. 
“Well, you’re cute, like a bunny. Especially in this.” He motions to the bra and panties, and you blush again. He then removes your bra with the utmost care, placing it on your chair next to the bed.
“Now, lay back.” Bucky pushes you down gently, allowing you to fall back and leaves you staring up at your ceiling. 
Your chest was moving at an extreme pace watching Bucky move further and further down your body, his hands stopping at the sides of your panties.
“Can I?” His voice is hoarse, and you think you’re going to melt.
“Y-Yeah.” You respond, and you feel the fabric slide down your legs. You feel your hands shaking, and you grasp the sheets when you feel Bucky spreading your legs apart.
“Fuck, bunny,” Bucky moans at the sight of your wet folds, gently kissing the insides of your thighs.
Your breath becomes more and more uneven as he gets closer to your core, and you have to keep reminding yourself that this is Bucky. You trust Bucky. 
He’s mouthing closer and closer to where you need him, but you can tell he’s taking his time. 
“Bucky, please.” Your voice comes out as a soft whine, and you can feel Bucky growl against your thighs.
“Patience, princess. I’ll give you what you want.” He tells you simply, like you’re not laying underneath him, panting like an animal.
“For fuck’s sake Bucky, I’m begging you.” You tell him in a way you’ve never heard yourself speak in before, but you were getting extremely frustrated. 
And before you could even try to get another word out, you feel Bucky’s hot mouth move to your wetness.
A gasp leaves your mouth as soon as he starts working you with his tongue, and you feel like you’re in heaven. 
Your hands are grasping at Bucky’s hair, trying to find some sort of reprieve from the way you’re feeling right now, and it’s killing you that you can’t see his face right now.
So, naturally, you prop yourself up onto your elbows; and the sight does not disappoint.
Bucky’s arms are both wrapped around your thighs, holding your legs apart and effectively making you throw your head back with a moan. His tongue is working wonders on your clit, and all you can feel is the building in your core that’s about to snap.
“Oh, Bucky!” You can’t even muster words at the feeling of him working you so well, and you don’t think you’ve felt this kind of pleasure in your life. 
This kind of pleasure, the kind that’s making your head spin and your legs shake. You’re sure that when the time comes for you to stand up, you’ll be having quite a bit of trouble.
You look back down again, only to see his eyes looking right back up at you. You register a finger prodding at your entrance, and Bucky slides it in, only to feel you clench around it. 
This leads to him moaning right into your pussy, making your back arch up at the vibrations.
He keeps his eyes on you as he moves his tongue in ways that make your eyes roll to the back of your head, your orgasm taking over your whole body. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and you feel your mind go completely blank at the feeling. 
Your body is limp against the bed, the only thing that you can focus on right now is trying to breathe.
Bucky only moves up to lay beside you, and you instinctually lay your head on his chest.
“How do you feel, angel?” Bucky questions, petting your hair and making sure you’re still alive.
“Wow. That was... amazing, Bucky.” You breathe out. You can’t muster anything else, but he understands.
“I’ll be right back.” He gently moves your head off of him, and your heart drops in your chest.
“W- where are you going?” Your voice is small.
“Relax, baby,” he kisses the top of your head, “I’m just gonna clean you up.” 
Bucky disappears into your hallway for a moment after he pulls his boxers on, and you hear your bathroom door creak open, then the tap running.
A few minutes pass, and he’s back with a small towel in his hand.
When the rag meets your sensitive folds, you flinch at the feeling, but Bucky shushes you and gently continues his work. When he’s done, the rag is thrown into your hamper and he holds out his t-shirt for you to slip on. After, you both find your ways under the warmth of your comforter. 
He’s hugging you close to his body while you lay partially on top of him, your head back on chest. You hear the beating of his heart, and you hear him say something, but the feeling is lulling you to sleep before you can register what he’s telling you.
That night, you dream of Bucky Barnes. 
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calpalirwin · 3 years
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Ocean Currents
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A/N: Trying out a prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting​ in which “Person A doesn’t want to be rescued by Person B, because they’re a lifeguard themself, but at a swimming pool and to tell a fellow colleague that they misjudged the pull of the ocean is just too embarrassing” with a few tweaks.
Word Count: 1.7k
And away, and away we go!
__
Eyes hidden behind your sunglasses, you carefully watched the group of friends set up camp just to the left of where you were stationed. You didn’t let your gaze linger long, quickly sweeping it across the rest of the beach, but there wasn’t much to see. The water was extra choppy today, evidence of a storm expected to roll in in the next few days, so most families had cleared out hours ago, leaving just the most adventurous of surfers, most of whom were regulars you recognized.
But this new group wasn’t here to surf as out of all their belongings, there wasn’t a single surfboard. Friends looking to soak up some rays and frolic around in the shallows, you hoped, and with enough in their group, you weren’t expecting too much trouble. Until one of the men pulled off his shirt to lather himself in sunscreen. Broad and well-defined muscles in his back and shoulders you recognized as the trademark of a swimmer. Swimmers, you had come to learn, were fucking idiots. Overconfident in their abilities and a complete disregard for understanding that pools and oceans were vastly different beasts. Almost as dangerous as the negligent parent to a wandering small child with their sneered “Isn’t it your job to watch them as a lifeguard?” as if this was the local community pool rather than the literal fucking ocean.
Thankfully the idiotic parents had left for the safer waters of those said community pools, off to antagonize some other lifeguard, who was probably just some high school or college kid hoping to pick up girls and make a couple bucks. Leaving just the surfers, you, and Swimmer Boy and his friends. Well… at least he and his friends were easy on the eyes, each one looking like they belonged on the cover of a magazine. You actually laughed to yourself, deciding you wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if a camera came out and a photoshoot ensued.
“Beautiful day out, ain’t it?” someone asked, and you turned to find Swimmer Boy staring up at you, shielding his eyes from the sun with one of his hands, giving you a nice view of the tattoos that decorated his skin.
“Always is right before a storm,” you replied.
“Oh, it’s supposed to storm? Damn…”
“Not today,” you assured him. “It’s a few days out.”
“Feel it in your bones?” he laughed, dimples indenting his cheeks.
“Ha-ha,” you deadpanned. “Do this long enough and you learn to notice the patterns, that’s all.”
“I see. Well, I’m Ashton, by the way.”
“Y/N.”
He opened his mouth to keep making conversation, but one of his friends came running up behind him, clapping his shoulder. “Stop flirting with the lifeguard, and let’s go! Hey, I’m Cal. Did this idiot at least tell you his name?”
You laughed as Ashton’s cheeks colored and he muttered something under his breath. “Nice to meet you both. Careful out there, alright?”
“If we’re careful, then you can’t rescue us,” Cal winked at you, walking backwards back towards the main group.
“Calum!” Ashton scolded, his cheeks now brick-red. “Sorry about him,” he offered you a quick apology before dashing off himself.
“Men…” you chuckled to yourself with a roll of your eyes.
~~~
Twenty minutes later, some of the surfers had called it quits for the day, but Ashton and his friends were still in the water, getting pushed around by the waves, the water only about up to mid-thigh. Nothing alert worthy, but still you kept a watchful eye, especially when the girls retreated back to their spot, and the boys waded further in, the water now striking just above the hem of their swim trunks. “Hey!” you called down to the girls, who turned their heads towards you. “Just a heads up, but your buddies probably shouldn’t go out much further than that.”
“Oh, thank you!” one of them smiled, while the other whistled loudly to get the boys’ attention, waving her hand at throat level in a “No more,” gesture, getting a thumbs up in response. Then a, “Wait… Do you see Ash?”
“No… Michael! Where’s Ash?!”
A blonde cocked his head to the side, then spun around in the water, mouthing something to the other two with him, Swimmer Boy Ashton lost in the shuffle somewhere.
“Son of a bitch…” you muttered, hopping down from your station and breaking into a run towards the water, the girls’ screams of “Ashton!” morphing with the boys’ cries of “Ash, this isn’t funny!”
You splashed your way into the ocean, the water hitting you square in the chest by the time you reached the three men. With the next wave, you ducked under water, letting the current pull you, the salt water burning your eyes as you forced them open, looking for Ashton.
You popped to the surface in a break between waves, scanning frantically for the man, finally spotting a splash and a hollered “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“Stop fighting against it!” you scolded. “Try to find the bottom, or let yourself float! Fighting’s gonna exhaust you! I’m coming, just hang on, and stop fighting!”
“I’m fucking trying! But it keeps pulling me!”
“Yeah, that’s the current! Here, grab this!” You threw the life preserver towards him.
“Ow!” he yelled at you as it bounced off his arm.
“Oh, shut up and hang on!”
You watched as he wrapped his arm around the life preserver. “Now what?!” he sputtered, wiping at his face with his free hand.
“Now, we use the waves to push us back to shore. Kick. Hard!”
“This is so fuckin’ embarrassing…” he groaned as a wave helped carry you guys back a little ways.
“Swim to the left,” you directed, feeling the pull of the current. “Parallel to the shore.”
“Okay, I feel sand. I can stand. I got it from here.”
“Cool. Some of us aren’t as vertically gifted, and in case you forgot, I’m trying to save your ass.”
“Mission accomplished,” he grumbled, still keeping pace next to you, as your own foot connected with sand.
“What happened?” you asked, as you started walking up the surf with him, the life preserver hanging rather uselessly from his arm.
“I got knocked off my feet. It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?!” you screeched, gesturing between the two of you and up at his friends who all stood a hundred feet away on the shoreline, worry written across each of their faces.
“Well I wasn’t expecting to get sucked out!”
“It’s the fucking ocean!”
“Real professional, berating your victim. You scold the five year olds too?”
“Nope. Just the twenty-five year old man child who thinks he knows what he’s doing.”
“I’m twenty-seven for one thing. And for another, I’m not a know-it-all.”
“Could have fooled me. Fighting against a fucking current… Rookie mistake.”
“I misjudged it, okay?!”
“Just admit you have no experience in the ocean, pool boy!”
“Pool boy?!”
“You’re a swimmer, are you not?”
“I used to be…”
“And I’d bet good money that you misjudged your own swimming abilities, didn’t you?”
Ashton narrowed his eyes, growling low in his throat, and you knew you were right. “Fine, I made a stupid mistake. Happy now?!”
“No! Look, just do me a favor and don’t go out in the water higher than your shorts, okay? Better yet, call it a day like everyone else was smart enough to do.” With that, you yanked the life preserver from his arm, and stalked off back to your station, pausing by his friends to give a clipped, “He’s fine. Stupid. But fine.”
“Mate, if you wanted to flirt with the lifeguard, there were probably better ways,” one of them, Calum, you remembered the voice, joked lightheartedly.
“I wasn’t flirting!”
“I thought you were a swimmer…” one of the blondes wondered aloud.
“And weren’t you also a lifeguard?” the other blonde inquired.
“It was an accident!” Ashton hissed through his teeth, accepting the towel one of the girls offered, wrapping it around his shoulders and trudging up the beach. His friends shared a glance, shrugged their shoulders, then followed Ashton at a few paces behind.
You tried not to laugh as Ashton sat down in the sand in a huff, still intent on pouting about his misfortune while his friends started to pack everything up. After about ten minutes of sulking, and a whispered conversation you couldn’t make out, he stood up and walked over to stand under your station. When you didn’t acknowledge his presence, he cleared his throat loudly. “Scuse me?”
“Yeah?”
“I was reminded I’m supposed to be a man with manners. So, um… thanks.”
“Just doing my job.”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have had to if I hadn’t made a dumbass mistake.”
“And which dumbass mistake would that be? Underestimating the ocean, or panicking when it started to kick your ass?”
“Make that two dumbass mistakes…”
You laughed. “You’d be surprised how often that happens. It’s no swimming pool, that’s for sure. And brains have this nifty way of shutting down at the worst times.”
“Still doesn’t stop me from being completely embarrassed. And unfortunately when I get embarrassed I act like a cunt. You were just doing your job. Sorry if I made that more difficult than it needed to be.”
“I could tell you at least 10 more difficult cases that would make your head spin.”
He winced in sympathy for you. “Well, thanks again. And sorry.” He gave you a small awkward wave before turning to walk off.
“No worries,” you called out to his back. “But, hey.”
“Yeah?” he asked, looking at you over his shoulder.
“What your friend said earlier. You seriously didn’t pull the ‘fake drowning to flirt with the lifeguard’ bit, did you?”
He laughed, giving a shake of his head. “Nah. Wasn’t a flirting bit. Just a dumbass bit.”
“Good. Cuz you know that doesn’t actually work, right?”
“Mmm, and what about asking you to dinner as an apology? Does that flirting bit work?”
“I dunno. I guess you would have to ask and find out.”
“Can I take you to dinner to make up for you having to rescue a dumbass who should have known better?”
You glanced at the clock in your station. “Meet you at the pier in a half hour?”
Ashton grinned.
__
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charming-charlie · 4 years
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Like Father, Unlike Son
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Title // Like Father, Unlike Son
Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader
Warnings // Mentions of absentee parents. Mentions of sex. Maybe some other little triggers, especially toward our man ☹
Summary // Buck’s parents are in town. Are you sure you want to meet them?
Word Count // 2.7k
Prompt // Hey! Hope you're doing good! I don't know if you ccurrently do requests or not or if this is where to ask for them but I have one in case you do take them. Evan Buckley x reader where his parents come to town and they are really passive agressive towards him, complaining about his work and that he's "not as nice of a boy as he used to be" but he doesn't tell them to stop. Eventually they remark on his birthmark, hitting an old insecurity and reader comforts him? Thank you for your time! <33
Author’s Note // Okay listen writing this broke my heart. Someone fix it by sending me cute little Buck gifs <3
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“What are you doing?” you asked your boyfriend, firefighter Evan Buckley, as he pranced around his loft apartment. Armed with a duster in one hand and a broom in the other, you would’ve made a bet with Maddie that he was dressing as Cinderella for Halloween. It was a weird sight to see because he was cleaning. The man was actually cleaning and you could not get over it.
You took your phone out and secretly snapped a few photos of Buck. He was dusting the top of the fridge and it just occurred to you… is that an area people are supposed to clean?
This was getting more and more strange.
You sent the photo to Maddie, who instantly replied, ‘all he is missing is an apron!’ with a few laughing-crying emojis. You smiled at her response, letting your brain picture the sight of Buck prancing around in an apron, holding various cleaning tools, like some 1950s housewife. You would’ve hung onto that ridiculous thought if Buck didn’t decide to speak up just then.
“I told you. My parents are coming. This place needs to be spotless,” Buck started dusting the undersides of the kitchen cabinets and you continued watching him. Your face was scrunched up as you followed his hand movements. Did Buck ever clean like this before?
For as long as you’ve known him, he never really mentioned his parents and that was not something you wanted to ask about unless he brought it up. Maddie mentioned a few things to you, in order to prepare you for the day, but it wasn’t much. Both Buckley parents were absent in their children’s’ lives, forcing Maddie and Buck to rely on each other while growing up. This would be the first time you’ve met them, and the first time Buck has seen them in who knows how long. This was a big deal. You thought you should be the one who is nervous. This would be the first time meeting the boyfriend’s parents and you needed to make a good impression. But Buck… he was acting like the world was going to end if the spout of the kitchen sink wasn’t properly polished. He was nervous enough for the both of you. Your job, which you were trying to settle into without overthinking, was to be calm and level-headed enough for the both of you.
That still didn’t stop the butterflies from moving full speed in your stomach.
When Buck started to pull out all the Tupperware containers and begin rearranging them in a new, organized, and super unnecessary way, you decided to intervene. Standing up, you made your way to your boyfriend and you slipped your arms around him, essentially hugging him from behind. Your head rested between his shoulder blades as you just held him in a comforting way.
Buck froze for a second and you could feel how tense and stiff he was. However, he instantly relaxed in your arms, like a weight had been lifted and you could sense a grin that splashed onto his face. He turned around in your arms, facing you while you hugged him at the waist.
He was taller than you by a good foot. Even if you stood on your tippy toes, you would not reach his lips, and damn did you want to right now. It was a good thing he knew you well enough to read your mind because he was thinking the same thing. He leaned down, much to your happiness, and placed the sweetest, softest kiss upon your lips. It was perfect, the way he dangled himself in front of you, leaving you wanting more and knowing you couldn’t reach him. He teased you in a way that made you both frustrated and excited.
“I know I’m acting crazy. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you,” Buck said as he captured your lips with his one more time.
The second kiss caught you by surprised, but you welcomed it. You leaned into him and your fingers instantly tightened and gripped his white shirt. You tried to let go, knowing his pressed white shirt and black blazer were for show and he wanted to make a good impression on his parents, but if you didn’t hold onto him, you were going to melt into a puddle of goo.
Imagine Buck trying to clean that up.
You grinned into the kiss as the new image that popped into your head, but it was short-lived. There was a knock on the door, five concise raps in a row. Buck instantly pulled away, and you caught a small, tiny look of fear in his eyes. He masked it by putting on a brave face but you knew him better than that.
“Go get the door, I’ll clean this up,” you told him with a gentle smile. You firmly nudged him toward the door and Buck reluctantly went to open it. You hurriedly put all the Tupperware containers back in their original cabinet, with organization going out the window. The door opened just as you shut the cabinet door, and you turned around on your heels and leaned against the counter, trying to act calm and casual.
You could hear the greetings and see the hugs before you saw the people. Buck’s parents appeared into view, smiling at their son, who you would’ve guessed they haven’t seen in such a long, long time.
First, you saw a woman. Her hair was tightly pulled back into an updo and she dressed in a business suit, paralleling her son in a semi-formal way. Following her was an older gentleman, dressed nearly identical as Buck. Apparently, looking proper was part of the Buckley charm. You must have missed that memo, since you were wearing jeans and a nice shirt, more casual than the Buckley family.
“You must be the one my son is so smitten with,” the woman replied with a smile. She made her way across the living area and into the kitchen, pulling you into a weird and awkward one-armed hug.
“I didn’t know firefighters could afford places like this,” the older gentleman said as he looked around.
You looked at Buck, who’s smile seemed to twitch with slight offensiveness. You knew he was proud of his job and you remember telling him that he loved his job more than you. Naturally, Buck denied that but played along and said his job kept him satisfied in ways that you couldn’t. You took it as a challenge and the two of you had mind-blowingly incredible sex that night. However, you were now cursing at your brain to abandon this train of thought at the station. You didn’t need to think about your sexual life with Buck while his parents were right there.
“I’m doing well for myself,” Buck said with a proud smile.
You nodded in agreement. Buck was doing good. He had a semi-stable job, he was healthy (especially after those blood clots in his leg that gave everybody a scare), and he was happy. Life was pretty good for him, and you could see how he was taking things all in stride.
“I thought you would have made something of yourself by now, Evan.” His mother spoke up. She was standing right next to you and it took every ounce of your strength to pull yourself together and not flash her a ‘what the hell did you just say????’ look. Instead, you kept your eyes on Buck, showing an obvious emotion of confusion.
Buck was certainly caught off guard by his mother’s words and seemed to be rendered speechless when his father chimed in with agreements.
“Firefighting is not a career, you know. I thought we raised you better than that,” his father said so casually, like he was making normal conversation and not offending his son by his choice of employment.
You felt a sense of dread swirling inside. You were longing to meet Buck’s parents and now you could not wait for them to leave.
“He does a very good job as a first responder. He saved countless people. Maddie also helps. It’s pretty great seeing the two Buck siblings take on the world together,” you said, trying not to cringe at how pathetic you sounded. Buck wasn’t speaking up, which meant that you had to take the reins and defend him. He deserves to be treated better than that.
“And to go so long without a phone call, or a letter, or even an email!” Buck’s dad was rambling as he walked around the apartment, staring at how immaculate Buck tried to make it, “would it have killed you to let us know what you’ve been up to? Seems like you just dropped off the face of the earth!”
If that wasn’t disgusting enough, the laugh that Buck’s dad gave shortly after sent your blood boiling. Was he finding this funny, calling his son out like this?
“You used to be such a nice boy,” Buck’s mother said as she approached her son, “but now it just feels like you and your sister enjoy ignoring us.”
How Buck was still standing was impressive to you. If it were you, some deep-rooted anger would have shot out right now and slapped his parents across the face. Buck told you bits and pieces about his parents. They were never there growing up. Their careers were more important than their children, leaving Buck and Maddie to sort of raise each other and look out for one another. It was not an ideal situation, and it broke your heart when Buck told you. He was visibly upset when it came to sharing details about his parents and you didn’t ask further questions.
But when Buck received a phone call from his mom, saying that both mom and dad will be in Los Angeles for a conference, you saw how excited he was. Hell, he was waltzing around the apartment, cleaning and tidying things up all week, after his mom mentioned that she would stop by for a visit with his dad. What was it all for? To be continuously kicked while he was already down?
“And this thing,” Buck’s mother said as her face scrunched in disgust, “you should get this removed. You would look much more handsome.” Her hand brushed against the birthmark on Buck’s face, and Buck instantly pulled back at the touch.
If you weren’t paying attention, you would have missed the part where Buck’s father actually nodded in agreement without having said anything. Your hands were shaking, and you stuffed them into the back pockets of your jeans, trying to keep your nerves in check. These people were Buck’s parents? This is how parents act toward their children?
Buck’s jaw clenched as he inhaled deeply, sending the worst disguised smile in his mother’s direction. “I wonder what’s keeping the food. I’m gonna check, be right back.”
He left the apartment, and you immediately felt like you were swimming in awkwardness. With Buck gone, they might pick on you next, and you were not going to let that happen. Racking your brain for an excuse, you settled with a simple one.
“Shoot, he forgot to grab the money to pay for lunch. I’ll be right back,” you flashed a friendly yet passive-aggressive smile in their direction and took off after your man, who was outside in the fresh air and taking deep breaths with his eyes closed, like he needed to practice meditation in order to calm down.
“Hey,” you said, grabbing him by the arm gingerly. He pulled back quickly, and his eyes popped open, but once he saw it was just you, he relaxed. “Sorry.”
He shook his head at your little apology. “Don’t be. Are you glad to have met them now?”
There was anger laced in his voice and, while you knew it wasn’t directed at you, it still stung a bit to be talked to like that. He could see it on your face and his features melted into pure apology as he reached for your hand. You let him take it, and he slowly tangled his fingers through your own. You let silence wash over the two of you, because that was what was needed right now. Sitting through lunch with those two people was going to be hell, and you wanted no part of it, but you needed to be there for him.
“You know,” you said, leaning into him a little. You couldn’t help it; he was like a magnet that always pulled you in. “You don’t need them. You have a loving, supportive family at the firehouse. Bobby and Athena can be your new parents. They already act the part.”
Buck let out a soft, sweet laugh. The fact that he found your little quip to be entertaining was music to your ears. “You don’t regret dating me, do you?”
You stared at him, unsure if he was being sarcastic or not. The look on his face told you everything you needed to know. He was really asking. Apparently, his parents verbally beating him up made him question a lot of things. You frowned, thinking at how just a fifteen-minute conversation with Buck’s mom and dad could change almost everything about him, you, and your relationship.
“Of course not,” you responded evenly, without even having to think about it, “I love you for you. You can sometimes be dumb, you know this, but you have a true heart of gold. And honestly, Buck, you are hot as hell.”
He laughed again, this time deeper and genuine. He let go of your hand and pulled you into a sweet hug, holding you tightly against his chiseled physique. “I needed that, thank you.”
You pulled away from him just enough to look at his handsome face. “I mean it. You are perfect. Your parents haven’t seen you in years, they haven’t seen how much you’ve changed. I see you every day. I’ve seen the progression. I’ve seen the pain you went through to be who you are today, and I love you so much for it. Let’s just get through this lunch and send your parents on their way, and you never have to think about them again.”
It wasn’t the greatest speech, but it comforted him. His smile never wavered as he looked at you, soaking in the words as they left your mouth. He nodded in response, feeling a newfound sense of bravery seeping inside. “I’ll do it if you are by my side.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be,” you said, knowing exactly how cheesy that sounded. But you didn’t care.
Buck leaned in, claiming your lips against his own in a welcomed surprise. You went back to leaning on him, his arms snaking themselves around you as he kissed you. Your heart was beating erratically as adrenaline pumped through. Your head was slowly filling up with fog and you were losing all sense of direction. If he wasn’t holding you like he was now, you would have no way of knowing which direction was up. Everything was blurry and out of focus, and it was a state of euphoria that you loved being in.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for the Buckley residence? I have eighty dollars’ worth of Chinese food here,” someone’s voice squeaked into your thoughts, taking root much to your annoyance.
You pulled away from Buck’s lips, looking surprised. “Eighty dollars’ worth of food?” you couldn’t help but ask in shock.
“Okay listen, I was planning ahead,” Buck retorted with a smile. He shrugged like he did nothing wrong, like he was not guilty of spending so much money on a Chinese feast.
“Planning for what?’
“You and I aren’t going to leave the apartment for a couple days. The food is to help us replenish our strength.” He winked at you. Since when did he start winking at you?
“Are we working out or something?”
“Yeah, in bed.”
You slapped his arm with a gasp as he laughed and went to the deliver driver to collect the food. God, he was so good to you, and you had to smile at how happy he made you. The two of you could do this. You could both get through one afternoon with the Buckley’s because afterwards, it would be just the two of you again. No worries, no stress, no fear. You wanted that more than anything.
Despite a rocky start, you had a newer outlook on his parents. After all of this, there was one thing you knew for certain. Evan Buckley was not like his parents and you have never been prouder of him.
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kweebtrash · 4 years
Text
Streamhearts Timestamp 12:47am
Title: Nakie Stream
Pairing: Camboy!JohnnyxCamgirlOC (Rem)
Word Count: 4.2k
Genre: Smut
Features: recording sexual acts, daddy kinks, pet names (good girl, bunny, etc), Soft(ish) dom Johnny, use of sex toys, blowjobs, some finger sucking, anal/vaginal fingering, teasing/whining, shy sub OC, anal fucking, choking, swallowing/messy cumshot
Synopsis:
Though Rem is a smart business woman she hides behind a computer screen all day designing websites for large companies. However, when her day is done she’s still behind a computer screen but now showing the world how hard she can cum. She never wanted to be a camgirl but when financial duties called she took it upon herself to make it. The spotlight (and money) got to her and she expanded to showcasing her nerdy side; livestreams, lewd cosplay photoshoots, let’s plays, subscriptions, review, vlogs, tutorials, you name it. Her streams catches the attention of a fellow cammer, Johnny, who on a whim decided to message her. Both aren’t the sexed up dolls they pretend to be in the online life and instead ease their way into a relationship with not so perfect sex, mistakes, and total confusion.
A/N: This used to be on my Kofi which im closing down and just putting everything up on here. This isnt continuing.
Masterlist     Johnny Only Masterlist
~~
"It's time for Nakie Stream!" I giggled as I looked into the camera hooked up to my computer. Dozens of people had already logged on and the number was slowly creeping into the hundreds. I blew kisses and greeted the new arrivals as I showed off my boobs and bounced them a little. Even as I stood around and posed I was getting a few tips. This was all I did it for. I didn't really enjoy it nor did I want to continue doing it for the next ten years of my life. But for now it was another addition to my finances.
I slipped on my pink kitty headphones and connected the bluetooth. The ears lit up, twinkling neon. They were my favorite and I spent some time talking about the specs. Many people would rather just watch me fuck myself but some were actually interested in the fact that I was a "gamer girl™". I hated that title but whatever sold the aesthetic. The truth was that I was indeed a nerd. I had a master's degree in computer sciences and web design, I created websites for companies under an alias and different VPN so nothing would be connected to my other life. The other life, this camgirl/cosplayer/social media influencer/let's player, was my home. I wanted to travel across the country to show off the cosplays I engineered and get my foot in the door to speaking with video game companies through my let's plays. I could sail on that life and would never have to step foot in a retail store or office space again. I would have my own freedom.
I signed softly as a saw a drop in viewers and stopped talking about the headphones. This was the hardest part, being the stupid sex doll for the ones who were only interested in getting off. I turned on the video capture and started up the game so I could properly start my stream. I was just about ready to sit in my gaming chair when I felt warm thighs beneath me. I jumped up and turned quickly, surprised by my boyfriend. He pulled me into his lap, a poised erection parallel to his stomach. He had helped me gain confidence in performing on camera and he was my safety net when we made videos together. I was much more comfortable and relaxed when he touched me. "JJ is joining me today." It was his stupid online nickname because he couldn't think of anything else. "Hope you don't mind. He challenged me to a bet. If I win a few rounds while he's fucking me he will buy me whatever I want, no matter the cost. If I cum or get distracted too much and fail then I get punished in anyway he wants and he'll upload that on his page. I think I can win though. I've spent days awake during releases and playing games straight through so this is nothing."
Johnny scoffed. "You say that now, but just you wait." He set his hands on my hips and turned me away from the camera and let my ass be the center of attention. I bent over and cupped his face gently to plant kisses over his lips while his hands shifted to spread my cheeks apart and show off the heart shaped gem of the butt plug that was nestled inside me. He grabbed a hold of the gem and pulled the plug out slowly, not all the way but just enough to work up some thrusts. I moaned softly, the headphones capturing the sound loud and clear so I could hear it as well as the viewers. The familiar ping of a notification that I received a tip racketed one after the other and Johnny smiled before whispering under his breath. "Blow me for a bit. That'll stall us and give a chance for more people to log on."
I nodded, following his advice and kissed down his bare chest until I reached the junction of his happy trail to the hair above the base of his cock. He turned the chair slightly to adjust the view from the camera and used the small remote beside my computer mouse to move the lens and zoom in more to focus on my face. He was an expert on camera mechanics and even helped me get better equipment for my set up and I had seen my following grow substantially.
I lowered myself to my knees as he spread his thighs apart. Grabbing the base of his cock, he tapped the head against my lips a few times, chuckling on the outside but both of our eyes showed annoyance. We hated doing certain things for the camera but sucked it up anyway. He found the motion stupid while I found it to be a turn off but with my attraction to him outweighed all our discomfort. I parted my lips and slipped his head into the heat of my mouth. The soft moan he let out was definitely a real reaction and I instantly flicked my eyes up to his. His own had closed and his head leaned back against the chair. Gripping what I couldn't fit, I held him steady as I bobbed my head. I swallowed around him and tightened my throat as a slight buck of his hips moved him deeper.
Another moan came, this time from me that was muffled by the invasion. I upturned it into a drawn out exaggeration to add to the stream. Johnny set his hand on the back of my head and kept me close, forcing me to breathe through my nose. "More, baby girl. I know you can do it." He encouraged. I furrowed my brow and tried to calm my gag reflex as I wiggled down more of his shaft. "That's good." He groaned. "That's my good girl."
My cheeks tinged with rose colored fire at the compliment. I held on as he pushed his hips up, dictating a rhythm I was forced to follow as he fell into controlling the situation. I was at his mercy and he knew how to test my limits without going overboard. Deep throating was just another thing we were trying to check off our list but I still struggled to take down his length. He was so perfectly thick and long, nothing over the top or short of disappointment. It was enough to challenge my small body without me crumbling under intense pain. Our size differences, both in height and ratio of his cock to my hole, drove him absolutely stark raving mad. There had been plenty of times where he had to reel himself in before he devoured me completely in a rush of brutal thrusts. But that was exactly what I wanted.
He pulled out of my mouth just as I felt the first drop of precum fall on my tongue. I licked my lips to disconnect the saliva from us-another thing I hated but knew sloppy blowjobs were another aesthetic cash grab. "Get the lube." He commanded with a hard spank to my ass that made me squeak. I trotted away from my desk and rummaged through my nightstand drawer to get the large bottle of lube I had. "And your favorite toy." He added.
I smiled to myself as I pulled out the elongated orb shape of a vibrator that Johnny could control through an app on his phone. He disappeared from the camera view to retrieve his phone before taking his place back in my gaming chair. He guided me to sit on his lap, resting my feet on the armrests so I was spread open. I hid behind my controller a bit as I was too shy to be so splayed out with everything visible. Johnny shoved the controller down right away though, not letting me hide for even a second. I pouted and looked back at him, glaring. He only returned the stare, adding a "what did i tell you?" kind of expression. I exhaled through my nose and pressed start reluctantly. As I was flicking through the menu and character selection I found Johnny's long fingers creeping towards my mouth.
"Open." He demanded and my jaw lowered to accept him again. During a loading screen he thrusted his fingers, pinching at my tongue and stroking the sensitive area at the back of it. My toes squirmed as i wanted to gag but he pulled his fingers forward just before the sensation could worsen. A few more thrusts and he removed them completely, showing off the now glistening skin. He moved between my legs, stroking along my slit and just barely circling my clit. Small tingles started to form in my legs but i was able to concentrate as my battle started. It was nothing special as of now. He just wanted to work up one hole before the other so by the time he was shoved deep in my ass i would be more relaxed. The vibrator always helped in that aspect.
He squeezed a single digit in inside me, his honey eyes looking over me to gauge my reaction. My breath had sped up a little but i kept playing even when his tender lips began decorating my neck in the softest of kisses. I loved when he destroyed me but when he was so gentle it drove me more crazy. His kisses gave my tummy butterflies and I tried to squirm away. His finger only plunged deeper and his other hand gripped a fistfull of hair to keep my head straight, making me wince slightly. My eyes widened and brows furrowed just after as I dodged an attack that almost depleted my character's health. I grew irritated at my lack of assistance from the online players. "FUCKERS!" I shouted. "Do I have to do everything myself?!"
"You're so cute when you're irritated." Johnny chuckled.
"Oh piss off." I scoffed. I wasn't cute, I was dead set on capturing the target come hell or high water.
Johnny didn't seem to like my response as he shoved in another finger quickly. He curled them and fucked me faster then he had been and i almost dropped my controller. I swallowed back a moan and tried not to close my shivering thighs. He would hate that even more. "Make noises." He said into my ear. "Remember what I told you."
"Y-y-yessss!" I hissed. That wasn't faked at all. His fingers were magical and I dug my nails into my controller, scratching into the rubber hand grips.
"What was that?" He smirked as the sound of my wetness started to grow louder alongside the tip notifications. "Use your words."
"S-stooppp." I whimpered and paused the game as I squeezed my eyes shut.
"Giving up already? I've barely just started."
I shook my head quickly and renewed the game,keeping myself determined at the sudden reminder. I thought about what I wanted him to buy me, my end goal and reason for this stupid bet. "N-no. I-im not! I'm not giving up!"
"Oh?" He scooted the chair closer to my desk, still making sure to keep the camera poised perfectly. Reaching for the bottle of lube i had collected, he dabbed a little onto his fingertips. I barely noticed his movements until the cold gel was being circled and pushed inside me. I continued to command myself to ignore it. I had to. I exhaled slowly in an attempt to steady my breath but it hitched as soon as i felt the pressure of the vibrator slowly sink into me.
He didn't turn it on right away. Instead he wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed me tight while he buried his face into my neck. It garnered more kisses and occasional nibbles that gave me just a few moments to get back to the game. Slowly, he moved his hands to cup my breasts, giving them both a good squeeze before capturing the nipples between his thumbs and index fingers. Gently, he tugged them into stiff peaks and rolled his fingers over the raised flesh to send small jolts of electricity down my neck. Quiet noises were held in by my lips pressed together though Johnny impatient at the fact i wasn’t letting them out. "You're still not making noises." He growled lowly.
"I can't help it! Im not loud!" I nudged my elbow back into his ribs, trying to squirm away as much as I could. He gave a light tap to my clit and pinned his arm around my waist again. I wanted to move now and I was too afraid to as i saw him make a grab for his phone. The familiar graph like control screen popped up and Johnny pressed his thumb to it. A cursor appeared beneath the pressure and at first he kept it low. That was simple enough for me to handle. He faced his phone to the screen, showing what he was doing to the audience. He chuckled as he read through some of the comments in the chat box.
"Even they think youre gonna lose." He said. "You're doing such a shit job, Remmy."
"Shut up! I'd like to see you try it! Maybe you should be the one trying to play while i fuck your ass." I pouted and crossed my arms as it took longer for my dead character to respawn.
"You're always wanting to fuck my ass." I felt the vibrator increase the intensity and my stomach clenched tight. "Maybe we could do another bet and that could be the stipulation but i don't really see you winning that one either."
"It's not over yet! I can still win!" I said with slight uncertainty.
"We'll see, bunny. I'm gonna take the plug out now." Johnny warned as he wrapped his fingers around the gem base. I nodded and leaned into him, begging for a kiss. He satisfied my craving as he slowly pulled the plug out of me, leaving my gape to flex around the emptiness. He tossed it onto the desk with a hard clunk before gripping my chin firmly. My jaw dropped open as he intensified the kiss, forcing his tongue to fill my small mouth completely. I held onto his shoulders to try and support myself as I got light-headed from the lust clouded thoughts that were spiraling in my head. He parted from me with a quick bite to my lip then reached for the bottle of lube again. He repeated the same motion of swiping it inside me as his fingers worked to stretch me even more.
I could relax around two fingers but he soon added a third which stretched me farther than the plug had. With his clean hand he increased the speed of the vibrator on his phone and I yelped helplessly. I saw him smirk through the video feed on my computer and wanted to wipe it off his face. With shaking hands I gripped my controller and resumed my pathetic attempt at playing the game. The vibrations would send sharper shocks throughout me every once in awhile as Johnny made sure i would feel comfortable taking his cock.
My bottom lip was starting to swell as my teeth kept digging into it. My toes were curling against the armrest and my controller vibrated with each bit of damage i was taking. The toys' own vibrations increased and I was nothing but a squirming mess on his lap. "Are you gonna give up, bunny?" He cooed in my ear. "Are you gonna give up and let daddy win? Please be a good girl for me, ok?"
"N-no! That's not fair! I d-dont wa-wa-nnghh-!" I clenched my teeth tightly as I felt a sudden urge to cum wash over me. He was being relentless with his thrusts now, plowing faster and making lewd sounds as the lube squelched against his fingers.
He made the vibrations spike again and I tossed my head back onto his shoulder, begging him to just slow down a bit. He nuzzled against my cheek and kissed my neck. "Look how loud you're getting for me." He turned my head to the computer monitor as he swiped his thumb across my clit. "Show the viewers how pretty my baby is when she wants to cum, hm?"
I flicked my eyes to the screen, embarrassed but wanting to comply so i could cum. If not i'd be stuck in this hell forever. Hundreds of comments were pouring in and i was able to see a number in tips i had never seen before. I swallowed hard and looked at Johnny. "It's going so well." I whispered.
"See what happens when you listen to me?” I nodded, upset that he was right but at least I could pay my bills with the money we earned. “Are you ready for me?”
I swallowed hard as my heart rate escalated. “I..um..” His erection pressed harder into the center of my back. He felt so swollen and even though I wanted to stay strong, the sub in me wanted to take care of my daddy. I nodded and felt his fingers slid out slowly. With his hands on my waist he was easily able to hoist me up with enough space to guide him towards my hole. Carefully, we worked together, me moving down while he thrusted upwards, to have him fill me entirely. My game kicked me back out to the menu screen as I had died again and it questioned if I wanted to continue. It stayed in limbo, not receiving my decision as my ass had touched the top of Johnny’s thighs and his lips had overcome mine. He scooted down in the chair, giving himself more ease of access to thrust.
The first few motions were careful, paired with a plucking of my nipples and an occasional clit rub. It wasn’t until I started grinding back on him did he increase his speed, pulling out almost completely before shoving himself back inside with a harsh speed. Our whimpers and groans were muffled by our tongues colliding over and over. In between the warm presses of his lips, his tongue would slip out to lap at mine or he would place love bites against my bottom lip. With dreamy and heavy lidded eyes I watched the small contortions of his facial features as his pleasure increased. When his mouth would drop open slightly to release nothing but a strained sound or when his brows furrowed with the intensity of my grip around him, i would drink it in, in love with everything about him.
As I squeezed my walls around him tighter, his hand ascended from the softness of my belly, to between my breasts, and finally to wrap around my neck. My muscles went rigid and my breath strangled. His fingers were formed into a grip that was growing tighter and tighter. I dropped my controller, letting it fall to the floor and found solace in dragging my nails into the plush pads of the armrests. The sound it created seemed to echo in the headphones as my mind transformed into lusty swirling thoughts. The dull burn of his girth inside me started to disintegrate but my stomach still churned with the fantastical feeling of his cock shoving against my insides. “Roll your hips.” He commanded me.
I couldn’t nod but showed my submission by moving my feet onto his thighs and lifting my body slightly. I circled my hips around the head of his cock, concentrating all the strength I could muster into the most sensitive of places. “Fuck, that’s good, angel.” His head fell back and his fingers pulsed their strength around my neck, giving me moments to hiccup in tiny breaths. My thighs burned and my knees buckled as my hold on the armrests made my knuckles splatter with the white color of straining. As he saw my body buckling he wrapped his free arm around me and hauled himself onto his feet. With the hand on my neck he tossed me into the gaming chair, making it skid across the floor a foot or two.
My eyes watered as i looked up at his; darkened and dilated with the idea of ruining me further. The veins in his arms dispersed beneath his skin, deepening into a soft blue hue as he clenched his fists around the armrests now, keeping the chair in place. He pulled the chair forward allowing him to slam back into me. The sound I left out was a mix between a squeak and a scream giving the satisfaction of me being loud on camera like he wanted. Ignoring the way a few tears streaked along the tops of my cheeks from the overwhelming stimuli, he rolled the chair backwards, repeating his motions of dragging me forward to fall into a pattern of ruthless thrusts. I had never regretted getting my gaming chair until this very moment. How he found the simplest household items to torture me with I’ll never know but he sure knew how to make sure I wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. I held onto his arms as my back arched and body squirmed and I was unsure if I could hold back any longer. “Give up?” He chuckled darkly. “Just say the word. You’ve already barely played a round and kept dying so I think it’s a given that I’ve won.” he taunted.
If this was the torture during the bet I feared what his punishment for me would be later on. It was too late to change the way I felt and I was already falling into a subspace that needed to be filled with his cum. “D-daddy…” I cried softly.
“Say it.” He worked in another rushed thrust. “I wanna hear you say it.”
I pressed my lips together and clawed at his forearms. My stomach clenched harder and my toes curled, pulling the tendons taught and shooting cramps up my legs. “Fine! Fine! You win! Please let me cum!!!”
Johnny turned to the camera and stuck his tongue out, adding a peace sign, in victory. “Guess you guys get a little punishment video soon.” He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss. “Go on, bunny. It’s okay.”
I let out a small sigh of relief and imagined he would continue his thrusts but instead he reached for his phone one last time. He turned the vibrator up on full strength and I gave in then, growing louder as my cum showered the seat of the chair and onto the carpet below. The tense contractions of my orgasm caused the vibrator to crash to the floor, the buzzing rattling against it. Johnny shut it off completely and waited until i was curled up and suffering from aftershocks to grab a fistful of hair and pulled my head up. “Ahh.” He said.
“I want it in-inside.” I shuddered.
“Nope, that’s for girls who win bets. Open.”
I reluctantly opened my mouth, unhappy with his choice, and watched his large hand stroke over his heated skin just above my tongue. His fist worked faster and faster and his eyes fell shut. He kept my head in place and the sweet heat of his cum covered my tongue, sliding down my chin and dripping onto my chest. I swallowed and licked up as much as I could, even lapping at his slit to make sure he gave me everything he had. Once he relaxed, my hair was let go and i sat back in the chair. I swiped my finger across my chin and licked the last bit of cum that I missed. My legs fell as my body slumped; I better get a bath and cuddles after this, I thought, a pout sprouting on my lips. Johnny made up some quick exit greeting and shut off the cameras and bright ring lights. “You ok?”
“I’m sleepy and sore and want cuddles and a bath.”
He smiled and picked me up from the chair, wrapping my legs around him. “I will make you a bath and give you all the cuddles you want, okay?” I nodded and buried my face in his neck as he walked us to the bathroom. “But to be honest, you were such a good girl today. I’m proud of you for being louder and showing your face more.”
I squeezed my arms around his neck, trying to hide as much as I could for my cheeks were burning crimson. He could be rough but also sweet and docile when he took care of me. I loved him so much it almost hurt. “Can you say thank you?” he asked as if I was a child that had forgotten their manners.
“Thank you, Daddy.” I mumbled against his skin.
He rubbed my back before setting me down on the toilet seat cover. “I’ll let that one slide. I can tell you’re sleepy.”
“You’re gonna stay the night, right?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but with you.”
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