soooo much of the modern conception of gender is based around products and consumerism that people can’t even identify actual misogyny anymore. People reply to posts “It’s sexist to hate on something so many women enjoy” and that something would be a Stanley cup
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Traits I’ve Noticed in Confident People
Disciplined - if a target is set, it is achieved
Speaking - Can speak multiple languages. Can express thoughts clearly even if vocabulary is limited. The listener understands their point.
Strong extroversion socially - can approach and talk to new people with ease, but also make them feel comfortable. Good at following up, asking questions and inserting little stories about themselves without exposing too much
Strong general knowledge / industry knowledge. They know what they’re talking about
Hard to please but not arrogant about it. They won’t readily accept a fact or opinion, even if the majority agrees - they’ll debate with it, think over it, play the devil’s advocate
Good posture
Strong set of principles and self control. There’s no shame in wanting to say, help someone, choose not to drink socially, buy a coffee for a poor person on the street; they don’t hesitate to do good deeds
Hygienic. Clean, groomed, well dressed, well maintained.
Observant and proactive at the same time. Can pick up on body language relatively easily - can sense discomfort or unease in someone and do something about it.
Have a strong sense of self identity. Can be opinionated but open to challenges.
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the curse of local theatre is that a show can change you forever and there is no recording of it anywhere at all and after a few years all you have are scattered memories and the knowledge that you were different before.
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Am I the asshole for getting my best friend killed?
I swear to God, it was an accident.
My (27) BF (34) has a reputation for getting himself out of any jam you can imagine; and at first it was just a fun little thing the friend group noticed: there goes Oily J wiggling his way out of trouble again. but as the meme evolved in the group, it got to the point where we'd loykey started getting him into situations just to see how he'd get out of 'em, and he akept getting out of em. He was having fun with it too same as us. "Oh you guys," he'd say, "getting me into situations again," before laughing it off and getting out of it, so it was enrichment for our shared enclosures, and as time went on, the situations got more intense.
The trouble is, it turns out that putting a man in too many situations eventually gets the police interested. And not local hobsknockers cops either; they was like, proper three-letter FEDs. They put out a bounty on any information pertaining to his capture and everything. It was good money too so I thought, hey why don't I put J in another situation he can wiggle out of like always (and he'd wiggled outta worse before, so I thought this one'd be relatively mild), and at the next boardgame night (cause it was too late to do anything special for this one) we can buy some extra strong booze and get absolutely blitzed while having a giggle about the situation.
Boardgame night, and we were playing some social deduction nonsense or another and he says: "One of you is gonna betray me tonight." and I can't help but think, looking back on it, that he knew. It's stupid, I know he was talking about the game, but the way he said it, it was like he knew. We all felt it, and we had a big round robin round the table taking turns promising that we'd never betray him. And I said it so easily cause I thought it was true. Sure, I was gonna talk to the feds about a bounty; but, I fully expected my big beautiful oily boy to wiggle his way out of the trouble I was 'bout to cause, and that's not a betrayal. I wasn't lying. I didn't think I was lying.
My big beautiful oily boy didn't manage to wiggle his way out of it. They killed him and I got my blood money. He's gone.
He's gone and I'm devastated, crying, mourning. I loved him so much. We all did. And I can't stop thinking that it's my fault: that I'm the reason he's gone. and it is. and the guilt is eating me up inside. and I just need to talk to someone about it. So, I tell the rest of the group what happened in the group chat, hoping they'd understand that I didn't want this. I didn't want the government's blood money. It was supposed the be a prank. some joint enclosure enrichment. He was supposed to wiggle out of it like he always does... did, i mean.
They call me, among worse things, the asshole and kick me from the group chat. And, I know it's my fault he's dead: I know that. If I didn't do what I did, he wouldn't be dead right now. But, I didn't mean it for it to end up this way. He was supposed to be okay, damn it. I loved him. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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Random writing tips that my history professor just told during class that are actually helpful
Download all your sources or print them so you can turn off your wifi
Give your phone to someone
Just. WRITE. Writing is analysing, you’ll get more ideas as you write. It doesn’t need to be perfect, for now you can just blurt out words and ideas randomly. You can fix it later.
Create a skeleton/structure before writing.
Stop before you get exhausted. It’s best to stop writing when you still have some energy and inspiration left, this will also motivate you to get started again next time.
Make a to do list
Work in bite sizes. Even if it’s not much, as long as you put some ideas on paper or do some editing.
Simple language =/= boring language, simple language = clear language.
Own your words. If they are not your words, state this clearly in the text, not just in the footnotes.
STOP BEFORE YOU GET EXHAUSTED. Listing it again because it’s easily one of the best tips a teacher has ever given me.
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During yesterday SAG-AFTRA press conference a journalist asked:
“What do you say to the fans and consumers that aren’t interested in the strike and just want to see their favourite tv show?” (or something along these lines I don’t recall the precise words)
And Fran Drescher responded with:
“Well, what makes you think they are not interested in what’s happening here? I think that they have an allegiance to all of us because we bring joy and entertainment to their lives […] so I don’t think that your assumption that they don’t really care about anything but being entertained over the summer is the bottom line” and proceded to say how this corporate greed can extend to all fields of works and how we understand that
AND WE DO UNDERSTAND AND WE DO CARE!
I love her so much for this! It makes me sooo mad when the assumption is that, as a consumer, I don’t care about people who make something that I love, because I do, we do! I know for a fact that people in fandoms care so much about the people involved in the creation of every aspect of their favourite piece of media.
Stop infantilising the audience! We are not whiny children and we understand the complexities of this moment. I am sooo happy that she recognised that.
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Do you think you speak too fast/ too slow?
Here is what I learned from a speech coach.
warm up:
start this exercise by taking a deep breath and saying “aaaaah” - try to extend this to 30 seconds. Now if it doesn’t go till 30, that’s fine. Aim to work your way to that. If you can work it up to 30, go for 45/60 seconds. Do this 5 times.
next.
Download an app called Metronome beats. It’s basically what singers/ musicians use for beats.
Settings:
keep beats/bar as 1,
clicks/beats as 1
start at 90. It will start with a click sound and continue “beeping.”
Match your words to the beep. One beep = one word. Now slowly, increase the beat by 5 till you reach 110. Increase it at your own pace but try to spend at least 20 seconds on each number (90 for 20 seconds; 95 for 20; 100 for 20….) That’s when you stop.
either start by reading something out loud and matching the beat, or select a topic and speak freely.
do this every single day. This will help with your breath, if you’re speaking on a topic it will help you think better and improve over time. The best way to further complement this exercise is to improve your vocabulary. Try to learn 1-3 new words a day and incorporate it in your vocabulary.
This is a great tool to use when learning new languages too. You can practice your speaking skills and see how fast you can remember/ read words.
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