#how to deal with rejection

[saintastaeroth]

2/3 Here's another curse for you - may all your bacon burn.

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Howl: Me!

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#how to deal with rejection #howl's moving castle cosplay #howls moving castle #howl's moving castle #howl pendragon

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet #a core part of fabians character is that he is so deeply afraid of rejection that he is never going to pursue the people he actually wants #i do think he likes Maezy a lot but i think he only knows how to pursue hot toxic women that will discard him at a moments notice #which in a way protects him from ever actually dealing with heartbreak #is he a gay man dealing with comphet? ehh maybe #i could see that #but I think the vibe i get is more about how he has these platonic friends he completely adores and is fully devoted to #and then in another category he has the people that he does not have any actual attachment to that he will allow himself to pursue #and crossing the boundaries in between those two categories or allowing himself to pursue someone he really cares for #would require a level of vulnerability he is in no way prepared for #in his home life he has an emotionally detached mother who is well liked but kind of floats through interactions on a surface level #and a father who is extremely concerned with fame and glory and attention but doesnt seem to have ever stopped moving in his life #genuinely fabian does not know what a safe loving partnership would look like #and we see him constantly oscillating between emulating his mother and his father in relationships #but just beneath the surface is a little boy who wants so badly to cling to his loved ones so tight and be squeezed right back #with no way of knowing how to even ask for that if he wanted #and riz is his best friend in the world and he knows on some level that riz is simply not interested in having that kind of relationship #not on the level fabian needs #but that also makes riz a safe target for these feelings of devotion #theyre just friends! just besties! fabian never has to reckon with his own loneliness or harmful patterns #if he channels all of his yearning for closeness onto his best friend #anyway! this boy needs therapy #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fabriz

[gottagobackintime]

I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.

Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.

Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.

And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).

But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.

So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #colin hughes #trent crimm #I saw someone on reddit saying that this whole thing with colin being scared of coming out was a bad storyline in 2023 #because it's not a big deal #and I was baffled #thankfully some people called them out on that #because colin just wants to live his life #he says he doesn't want to be a spokesperson but that's what he'll become if he comes out whether he wants to or not #because he'll always be the first active gay premier league player #and it's also arrogant to say that it's accepted to be queer in 2023 so it's not a big deal #when queer and trans people are stripped of their rights and their right to express themselves in the US for example #and queer and trans people are killed all over the world simply because of their sexuality and/or gender identity #and even if you live in a fairly accepting country like I do for example #it's still the fear that YOUR OWN family and friends will reject you #because to quote monty python ''we're all individuals'' #it doesn't matter how accepting society at large is because society are made up of individuals who has their own beliefs #so no the world isn't as accepting as people are led to believe and that's what I mean when I talk about straight people #no matter how well-meaning they are they will have a hard time understanding #nicole watches stuff

[lesbianpegbar]

and i think what really gets me about it is how grounded in reality this is. he likes a kids show. he’s horribly embarrassed and hates himself for indulging in something so seemingly stupid and childish and he should grow up and be presentable and be an adult and leave that stuff behind and it’s like. he just enjoys a kids show. idk smth smth about this feeling like a very real and honest portrayal of something that seems silly but in reality hurts so bad when it actually happens

#bc like. having your interests made fun of isn’t ever really seen as THAT big of a deal #esp if your interests are smth silly or immature #but to be rejected in that way and deny that part of yourself feels so so awful #and i really appreciate takamatsu treating this like a serious problem #showing us how even if in the grand scheme of things #kazakami being told he’s being childish and hiding his interests isn’t THAT bad or anything #it still deeply affects him and has altered how he presents himself and interacts with others #and he probably will always have to work on not feeling ashamed #anyway. guy who got viciously made fun of for their interests to the point that it was #extremely traumatic voice. i don’t care #stl spoilers #skip and loafer #mine

[intermundia]

there's a very specific kind of impotent despair you feel as an autistic person when you get rejected for yet another job, and find out later that while the hiring committee thought that you gave excellent answers to all their questions, and they believed that you could do the work well, you still weren't hired because you didn't make enough eye contact

#like i literally tried #i made eye contact with each questioner when then asked a question #i tried to follow all the little rules and games you're supposed to #but to still somehow fail the 'vibe check' #and be rejected is just like #it's heartbreaking and idk how to deal with it #actually autistic

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

you ever think about how Osiris “grouchy old bastard recluse who rains down flaming death from above” was mentored by Felwinter, and we only recently discovered Felwinter was Rasputin, and therefore Osiris may be just now coming to the uncomfortable realization that there’s more of the Warmind in him than he’d like to admit

#Destiny 2 #this post brought to you by me laughing over him inadvertently quoting Rasputin to Clovis #because like yeah #that is something both Rasputin and Osiris would legit say #'Phoenix of the Dark Ages' is a very Rasputin title #and now Osiris is having to deal with 'I learned about how to be a Guardian from the fucking WARMIND' #'...it does explain some things.' #I feel like if the Iron Lords were alive and they found out about Felwinter #Felwinter is terrified they'll reject him or hunt him etc. #but I feel like their main reaction would be 'you know that does explain a few things' #and then just endless computer jokes at his expense #I really REALLY want to know how Saladin dealt with finding out about Felwinter #we have been deprived of this for TWO YEARS #HOW DID HE REACT #just give me one loretab on it please bungo #this is the wager of existence

[dayurno]

omg reverse riko au is making me feel so ill..... please let us know if you have any more thoughts abt riko kayleigh and kevin legend.....

I DO my idea is that its around the same age kevin and riko met in canon so tetsuji kicks the bucket when riko is 7/8 and riko is (very forcibly) removed from the nest and sidelined to kayleigh as a new moriyama asset from the main branch takes over the nest. riko struggles a lot with the change because he is very young and very scared and he’s used to horrible things at tetsuji’s hand, which means that he doesn’t trust kayleigh and finds kevin entirely too weird. it’s honestly really cute because i think at this point obviously 7 year old kevin wants to befriend him but riko is such an anxious ball of anger that most of their interactions are like

baby riko: what do you WANT from me. go AWAY!!!! NOW

baby kevin: (heavy irish accent) nothing i think. do you want a bite of my sandwich?

anyway i think riko and kayleigh do get along but he never really considers her his mother or even godmother, for a long time he thinks of her as his Benefactor until the child therapy starts hitting and she becomes Aunt Kayleigh and then after a few more years he can be loosely convinced to refer to her as auntie once or twice a year. his second son syndrome never really leaves him; in the upcoming years riko struggles with the idea that he’s anything But an add-on to the days and still overworks himself to death trying to be acknowledged by kengo, but it’s leaps better just from being outside the nest and having people to look out for him

riko and kevin have some rough patches, especially during riko’s first years with the days. because kevin is an easy target and riko is afraid of kayleigh he ends up letting a lot of that anger out on kevin, though obviously at this point they are children and riko’s anger manifests in some mild bullying and name calling. i think kevin doesn’t even understand it most of the time 😭 riko has been around grown ups his entire life so his adult level insults make no sense to kevin’s seven year old mind. nevertheless after kayleigh tells him to stop picking on kevin riko does respect it (first out of fear, then later because they actually get along) and they go on to become brothers with only a slight tendency towards antagonism. riko’s jealousy of kevin is still a big part of their relationship and i think even more so when college applications roll around, and he’s even more worried when wymack comes into the picture, but it never culminates into anything as horrible as hand breaking because riko has an actual outlet and a support system :) it’s mostly a yelling match that eventually turns to getting scolded by kayleigh for acting like barbarians

#i know kayleighs sermons go hard kevin and riko are sitting there head bowed like yes maam….. #i havent yet decided where they both go to college in this au #but i think for one that the nest still exists and jean still gets sold to the moriyamas but it’s the main branch now #however without riko there jean’s experience in the nest is. Hard but not brutal #anyway i think riko would apply to edgar allen but he would be rejected on the account of being second branch raised by foreigners #but how horrifying to think about jean in the nest bossing riko around right. kind of a slay though #i think kevin goes to palmetto still Because he wants to reconnect with wymack and riko is very divided but ultimately chooses usc #because they’re the best and he doesn’t want to play second fiddle to kevin and his father #also i imagine his time in usc sucks a lot for the first months because it’s so different LOL #and he’s never been alone before like this with kayleigh and kevin so far out of reach #but :) hed make friends. maybe even… captain jeremy knox….. whos to say? #! #meanwhile kevin (a normal boy at this point) has to deal with the foxes being a trainwreck and the new serial killer dad recruit #he’s got a lot on his hands #ANYWAY this is entirely unrelated and indulgent but i want this kevjean to meet so bad #riko on the phone: we played against the ravens that jean moreau is a scoundrel and a monster and he almost broke my arm kevin: woaw #he’s gonna be so pissed off three years down the line when jean moreau shows up at christmas dinner with the days #you think theres any worse dynamic for jean and riko than master and slave? of course. Brothers in law #wouldnt you just kill to be a little fly buzzing around that christmas supper #asks #riko #kevin&riko

[kyouka-supremacy]

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#This is about the last thing I could have imagined happening to me but. #A girl just slid what pretty realistically is a love letter under my door and. I really don't know what to do about it #God. I like her a lot but I also really just love her as a friend?? #I don't. I have no idea what to reply because on one hand if I said something like #“yeah every second we spend together is precious to me too I love you <3 ” I would probably. Definitely come across wrong #But at the same time I can't just reply coldly I don't want to be rude. I do enjoy the time we spend together. #I just feel that if I don't reply with the same love and dedication I will come off as rude and make her sad and I really don't want to #But also I'm like. 100% sure I'm not into her romantically #It's just. The way she talks to me in the letter makes me feel... Odd in the bad way. #She spent words of admiration on me I really feel like I can't own you know. #She seems to look up to me a lot and I don't think I should be looked up to at all. #“You're a wonderful‚ very strong‚ and intelligent person” HOW DO YOU EVEN REPLY TO THAT. #“Uh I disagree but you're entitled to your opinion”... ? #Thank you? #This is. Ugh. I'm really not fit for this kind of stuff. #I LOVE exploring characters being in love and putting them in awkward ridiculous situations that make them miserable. #I HATE to be in such situations #As if exams weren't enough. How do I deal with that #Posting this just in case anyone has genuine advice btw. How do you reject a girl you actually like a lot #And how should I even write her back. Because she said to and I'm the WORST at writing back #Sis this is stressing me off so much. I want to dig a hole and disappear in it. I'm not getting out of my room for the next six months. #(For context we live in the same students dorm) #random rambles #I'm so distressed right now this is the absolute worst. #Like I was pretty fine with where we were at but now I feel like I really don't want to spend time with her again for a long time. #Deleting this soon hopefully

[bonefall]

Big question I have for the Tallstar kitten, where does Jake go at the end? If they are co-parenting, then does this child get separated from one of its parents? Would shake come visit? Did Tallstar and Jake have a messy breakup? It would make a very interesting parallel for Onewhisker, Tallstar proudly returning to the clan and claiming the kit as his

The child would very much get separated!!

Tallstar’s Collapse heavily involves the infamous BB!Heatherstar, and the death of tunnelling as she sacrifices it to advance the war with ShadowClan. Kitten or no kitten, the entire book is a lot more bitter as a result.

Tallkit grows up in a Clan that is a community. Palebird is loved and helped through her depression, Tallkit learns from all sorts of different cats. There's issues-- the war and Shrewclaw-- but this is home.

At the same time, he watches Sandgorse and the Tunnelers grow angry and desperate, realizing that Heatherstar is killing their tradition to make more fighters. It's likely that she, or one of her supporters, encourages Tallkit's fear of tunnels and division with his father.

Jake is freedom. He's a paw to offer him an escape from the drama and politics. To see that he does not have to live that way.

But the tragedy here is that Tallstar can't leave it behind. He loves his mom, his half siblings, Woolytail, his mentor, his friends... the moorland is home. Doesn't he have a responsibility to it? To serve WindClan and to fix its problems instead of running away?

WindClan is home. It's family. And Jake is family too but...

Without a kitten it ends here, basically. Tall decides to go home at this point. If he DOES have the kitten...

Then the kitten is probably adopted from parents who died, and that causes Tall to have a bit of an existential crisis. The idea of that is ALIEN to him, there's always someone in a clan to care for the kittens, community is the core of Clan life.

Even at its worst, even when Palebird couldn't take care of him, there was no question that he was loved and valued.

But here's kittens with NO family. If him and Jake and the Nomads hadn't found them...

He can't stop thinking about WindClan after that. The lessons he was taught, the gorse and the heather and the bounty it provides. Palebird and his new siblings, Heatherstar and her aging deputy. How this child he's raising would never know a trip to the moonstone or see its grandmother.

And most importantly; Talltail believes there is value in serving a Clan, and being put to the Stars in death. Where will he go? Where will Fly go??

But Jake does not want that life. He can see that his mate is growing unhappy, but he would be equally unhappy if he went with him. They love each other like a breeze loves a stone; try it might, the wind can't lift the rock.

So they have to part ways.

I think Jake visited for a few years after that, but abruptly stopped. The war grew more intense and it wasn't safe to visit anymore, especially as tensions between Clans got even worse. Tallstar chose his destiny, and Jake chose his.

#loving the idea of a parallel #where Tall did the right thing and took the reputation hit but worked his way back up #and Onestar rejected his kitten completely when it got too real #Though to be fair I think this redux doesn't really have clear answers and I'm fond of that #whos to say Fly wouldn't have had a perfectly fine life with those nomads? #but if Tallstar has a religion and culture that makes him value his clan above all else #Even though he tried to break it #it's even more interesting to think about Tallstar this way considering how the war ends at the end of this era #with Tallstar trying to negotiate a peace deal and Brokenstar killing his own father to reject it #better bones au #Tallstar’s Collapse #symbolically you could say the ending is a collapse as well #the breakdown of the dream of escaping clan culture's problems

[leixinyus]

Five times Danis felt rejected or himself refused care and the one time he didn’t

#jang you sung #park young woon #park jung woo #the director who buys me dinner #korean drama #manydramagifs #kdramaedit #the abandonment issues are strong with this one and i am NOT having a good time #it's true i'm not immune to characters who have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms #and tend to run away from (or straight at) the affection and love that they desire and yearn for like nothing else #because they've never known care or love or felt like they had that #so the vastness of everything that they're desperate to have envelops them completely #and the only way they know how to deal with that all-encompassing feeling is to try to avoid it or hold on to it #and danis has always opted for the former #until now #like look at how soft he is in the last scene i-!! #first his eyes wander in dongbaek's #it's almost like he's waiting for the rejection that usually comes #but it never does #instead dongbaek helps him to calm down #and as danis sees and feels his genuine concern and care #he slowly but surely finds that place of serenity #away from the anxiety that was drowning him #and for that one short moment #he lets himself (consciously or subconsciously) experience the kind of unconditional love that he's always wanted #and although there are still two extreme reactions of which either may ([[spoiler alert]] did) happen when the weight of it all really hits #he's still gotten to see first-hand the goodness that is still in the world and that dongbaek has shown him to be worthy of #and it's so so beautiful and bittersweet

[quibbs126]

I think it would be neat if we had a story in where like, the ninja all get separated into different places (my best excuse currently is the Merge), and Lloyd ends up somewhere now powerless and all alone, and the only thing that he could rely on to survive and fight is his Oni form, and so he has this journey where he has to rely on his Oni form, and throughout this journey he grows to accept it

I don’t think I worded it the best, but basically what I’m getting at is Lloyd being forced to acknowledge his Oni form, and thus his heritage, instead of rejecting it in favor of his dragon side (edit: okay they don’t really mention him being part dragon ever, but I mean that he only deals with the good side, always rejecting his Oni side), and through this learning to accept it, and likely control it

(Also I think it would be cool to see him use his Oni form after this journey, and while it’s not his main form of attack, he’d use it somewhat regularly and has far more control over it than just be a raging beast. I mean, maybe he doesn’t talk in that form and it is still generally destructive, but he can go in and out of it whenever he wants and won’t attack his friends)

#I dunno but it kind of irks me how Ninjago in general talks about there being a balance #but every time they reject the evil side in favor of total good #like the Oni and Dragons are meant to be a balance #but the Dragons are pretty much always cast as objectively good while the Oni are objectively evil #(with the exception of Mystake but the show doesn’t really acknowledge her) #and Crystalized kind of has Lloyd just ignoring the problem instead of dealing with it #when it comes to his heritage I mean #I want him to learn to accept it #I’d also accept a time skip where Lloyd uses his Oni form and has made peace with it offscreen #and then later on we could see how this happened #but Dragons Rising doesn’t seem to be going that route #this was more in my head before the new trailers came out #but I still thought it was neat #ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #random stuff

[saintastaeroth]

Three days into my querying journey and I've already had my first rejection 🙃 😅 how do you deal with rejection so it doesn't hurt as much?

#writers block #writer #writing #my writing #writers #writers on tumblr #writblr #how to deal with rejection

[sneez]

various fairfaxes and a drawing from my english civil wars hiking au which i never posted :-) [id under cut]

[image description:

the first image is a digital drawing of a group of men on a light brown background. they are all wearing hiking-appropriate clothing. from left to right: a young man swinging from a tree; arrows pointing at him read ‘weirdly passionate about hiking’ and ‘like 15′. a man leaning against a tree; arrows read ‘grumpy’ and ‘only here for family bonding with father-in-law’. a man with a cane and one arm in a sling, leaning over to read a map; arrows read ‘has injured himself on every hike so far’ and ‘designated driver’. a man reading a map with a serious expression; arrows read ‘annoyed about everything except hiking and sometimes also hiking’ and ‘only one who can read a map’. a man with his hands on his hips looking at the viewer; arrows read ‘arranges hikes and then doesn’t go on them’ and ‘good at arguing’.

the second image is a collection of four digital drawings of thomas fairfax, a man with long dark hair, a moustache, and a beard. he is wearing seventeenth-century clothing. one is a full-body coloured drawing of him sitting in a chair facing away from the viewer with his legs folded and his hat on his knee. the other three are uncoloured: two are headshots of him as a young man and an older man, and the third shows him sitting at a table reading a piece of paper with an expression of concentration.

the third image is a coloured digital portrait of thomas fairfax as an older man. he is clean-shaven and has long dark hair and a scar across his cheek. he is wearing a dark doublet and a large white falling band, and is looking to the left of the image with a serious expression.

end image description.]

#artwork #fairfax #and others! theres a bunch of blokes in the hiking one #basically the concept is it's the english civil wars but instead of having a civil war they are rival hiking groups. and they compete with #each other over hiking trails and such. i never drew the royalist group but i was imagining them to be the Official hiking club and the #parliamentarian one started because there was drama in the royalist club so they started their own #and now theres drama between both of them. hiking drama. #ANYWAY thats from last year i cant remember why i never posted it but here it is now :-) #the other ones are much newer (for the most part) i did the coloured sitting fax yesterday #the last one is based on a portrait i came across recently which may or may not depict fairfax in 1664 (the identification is questionable) #and i still havent made my mind up whether or not i think it could be him or not but i was So excited about finding such a late portrait #i knew i had to draw at least something inspired by it. i cant even tell you how i excited i was i almost exploded #for context the latest portrait we have otherwise is from 1650 so if it is actually him it is a Very Big Deal #but i dont think we will ever know because the identification has been rejected by the metropolitan museum of art :-/ alas #of course it could be raised again in the future but i dont know if anyone would care enough to do that. i would obviously. but otherwise #oh for the first one from left to right it's lambert ireton fairfax cromwell pym #i dont know if the writing will be legible given how much tumblr crunches images but We Will See #i hope you are all doing well my dear friends :-) it has been so nice to get around to answering messages today i have missed you terribly #edited to add image descriptions! sorry i didnt do that earlier my apologies

[sapphicsnzs]

im so grateful for this corner of the internet where i can just get my frustrations out

#self obs #i will delete this later but i just need to get it out #i told my two best friends about how i got rejected and they both were just like move on lol #like i don’t think they realize how awful i feel right now like literally that was my dream and im scared im never gonna be able to do it #i also somehow have to tell my parents and that’s a whole different problem #my parents are already up my ass about me quitinh my job for no reason #well basically i think they’re trying to get me to move home for the summer which doesn’t make sense to quit my job i’ve been working at #for almost a year to come back and get a job for a month #but like i can’t think of another reason that my parents would randomly want me to quit my job #so i’m stressed about that and now i also have to tell them i got rejected and now i can’t start the part of my degree that i need for my #fucking job and fuck i’m so stressed and don’t know what to do #and im just like so embarrassed and everyone is acting like its not a big deal even tho like if i apply again i probably won’t even get it #because i didn’t even make it past the interview phase and anyways im just so upset with myself and everything #i like actually thought my life was turning around and i was gonna be happy finally but nope #anyways this is just me sobbing and trying to let out my frustrations because no one will actually listen or validate that i’m upset #whatever im gonna go drink some wine and probably pass out on the floor of my room

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

my uni literary journal is accepting submissions 👀 do i do it

#i've thought about it before but they usually have themes and i didn't have anything that fitted #but this one doesn't #urgh #i kind of don't want anyone ever reading my poetry ever #but like. what if it's good.... what if it's good and i treat it like some shameful little thing #but what if it's not and i get rejected lmao idk if i can deal with that #i also haven't written a poem in forever and it kind of feels like cheating to submit a really old one #should i try writing a new one and see how it is? #hmmmm #🧃

[andrewblurmoved]

remembering that i can be clingy and annoying is literally a breath of fresh air

#andrew.txt #once i learn how to deal w rejection its over for everyone