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#how to make dick join things be a redhead have freckles or be a great parent or have shitty ones
adhdslugcrimes · 2 years
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Don't keep secrets au
Slade: Nightwing really losing his touch on keeping secrets, now tell me what do I need to do to get him to join me.
Wally: got red hair?
Slade: no.
Wally: freckles?
Slade: no.
Wally: are you a great dad?
Slade:... Questionable.
Wally: shitty parents?
Slade: sorta...
Wally: we ain't got a lot to work with here man.
Slade: I did Batman once, does that helps?
Wally:
Slade: well?
Wally: you don't want me to answer that.
Slade: so... With all your have said I'm not going to get him to join me willingly.
Wally: or forcibly either.
Slade: he's not going to save you he's off planet.
Wally: yeah, and arsenal is busy with the outlaws stuff but I have others who worry about my safety.
Slade: I know how all the bats fight, and I'm not worried about league members coming after me.
Wally: I know but I wasn't talking about them.
Slade: *snorts* then who?
Wally: Gotham's siren's, and adding the black eye, busted lip, and a tetanus wonderland of a wearhouse you chose to tie me up in, I say you got six broken bones headed your way. Thank god you didn't kill me though.
Slade, worried: and if I did?
Wally: Nightwing and arsenal will have your head. Joker killed second Robin with a crowbar, he killed joker with the same murder weapon and arsenal is not above killing people at times sooo.
Slade, started untie Wally quick: shit shit shit-
Cat woman: ah good, doing the work before the fun starts.
Slade: *high pitched screams*
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marcoacesabo · 5 years
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I just adore your Pizza Pie for my Eye AU!!! Please tell me theres a part 2! 😆
Marco returns to Spade Pizza at least once a month.  Once in a while, he goes bi-monthly because Ace moves around and gets a little closer to the Moby Dick that a quick fly would get him there on time.
He’s favorite is Pineapple Pizza, especially when Ace adds in stuff crust. Marco has tried everything on the menu, but he finds himself falling back on this order despite himself. 
Thatch had been right, this place food was worth the trip. Even if he wasn't bewitched by the owner he would still attempt to find time to come here just for the pizza.
 It’s gotten to the point where as soon as the staff sees him, they have his seat at the bar ready and his order being sent to the kitchen before he can even sit down.
Ace had joked he and Tobi were his most loyal customers since they were the only ones willing to keep track of where the restaurant went. Marco laughed nervously, terrified he meant he didn’t like him following and put off his bi-monthly trip twice just to be safe.
“Hi, Marco!” Ezra says. She doesn’t grab his menu from her little stand. “Go on ahead. No one in your seat but Tobi already here”
She gives him a little teasing wink edge with just enough ruthlessness it’s both playful and frighting. 
The teenager of seventeen, having joined Ace three islands into his journey back when she had been but a mere twelve-year-old. Of course, at the time she was just tagging along with her older brother who had been twenty and Spade Pizza’s second chef but she remained working ever since.
She also, finds it hilarious when people pin after her boss/second older brother. Apparently, in all the time Ace had sail not once has his attention been captivated by hopeful suitors. Ezra likes to watch fail and fight over him. 
Marco thinks she would make a terrifying pirate.
“Thank you yoi” He says refusing to let her see how much it upset him that Tobi - who’s real name is Sabo! He hasn’t forgotten- had already arrived before him. 
Ezra’s grin is all but feral. She waves a dismissive hand, turning to the family that just walked in. Spade Pizza is dock on a new island today, one with various size villages at a walking distance between each other. 
News of the exciting new pizzeria had spread fast. Marco heard three different people on the walk along, suggesting Ace’s restaurant. No doubt this has made Ace very happy.
Marco smiles just thinking about the glee that must be painted on that freckled face. 
 He follows the familiar path between the tables. It’s become all too familiar by now, but he likes taking the time to look at the decorations. Ace had told him once the restaurant was based off a bar he grew up in which makes it very important to notice all the little things. 
 The small details are what tells him the most about Ace. And Marco wanted to know everything about him. From little things like his favorite color to bigger ones such as his deepest fear.
Marco’s good mood- always brought on by any thought of Ace- suddenly evaporates when he spots the eyesore of fake red hair. Haruta- who once came with him- had said it looks natural but Marco knew better. 
There was no way Tobi-Sabo was an actual redhead. 
The man in mention turns his stole glaring at him from the corner of his eye. Marco meets the intense stare with one of his own, turning up his nose as he passes.  
Tobi-Sabo humphs then takes a large sip of his cup. Marco watches him do so because while the guy made his teeth grind, he did have a fantastic jawline. Marco’s own was covered in short stumble but it’s more round then define like his. 
Sometimes he was jealous others he wanted to reach out and trace the jawline with his fingers. It didn’t make any sense to him on the way seeing that this guy was his love rival but Marco chalked it up to him being very gay and left it at that.
“Hi, Marco” Ace says going over with a bright grin. In one of his hands, he’s carrying a mug which the pirate is sure carries his sweet tea. His steps are graceful without any wasted movement. 
Marco loves that. It’s a sign of a good fighter, and although he has yet to see Ace in action, he can tell it would be brilliant. 
“Hello, Ace.”  Hoping he came off as casual he leans, on one hand, making sure to give him a lopsided smile.  It’s one of his best moves and he’s rewarded with the way freckle cheeks flush just a bit. “Been busy these last few weeks?”
“Oh yeah! We get mostly families now. Adding that kid play area was a great idea.” Ace chirps placing the cup in front of him. His eyes are shining and suddenly Marco is frozen in his seat. “I’m thinking of adding a ball pit soon. Sea knows my baby brother loved those things so any good kid would too right?”
“Of course yoi” 
Ace beams at him. One thing Marco had notice was Ace’s love of his baby brother.  Score one for him!
“Hey, Ace. Look what I have!” Tobi-Sabo says suddenly. The two turn to find him waving a wanted poster at them. On it, Strawhat Luffy’s grinning face is flashing a new bounty.  “Your brother just got his bounty tripled!”
Ace rushes over, his expression between proud and worry. Marco watches him go with a sneer aimed at the very smug-looking redhead who is the only one about to see the blond’s look. “What did that idiot do now?” 
“He declared war against the World Government.”  Somehow Tobi-Sabo sounded a bit proud himself. He hands the poster over, smiling up at Ace with a piece of hair between his eyes. Marco knows he’s going to reach up and push it behind his ear the moment he has Ace’s attention- the  Pizzaiolo was too caught up inspecting his brother’s poster- and then lower his eyes lids.  
It’s a move he’s seen Tobi-Sabo do over and over again, in his attempts to flirt with Ace. It’ offense him on both the account that he’s flirting with Ace and that it makes something flutter in Marco’s stomach whenever he does.
Stupid amazing jawline bastard.
Ace makes a happy sound that has both pair eyes snapping to him and the blonds jaw’s drop at the absolute affection on his freckled face.  “Luffy! I’m so proud of you!” 
He looks up from the paper shouting for the whole restaurant to hear.  “Put this up immanently Ezra!”
“Right away boss!”
Ace is all but glowing in glee. He turns the pair of men.  “Dinner is on the house.” 
Then he does something he’s never done before. He winks at them. Tobi-Sabo makes an odd choking sound and Marco’s throat drys like a desert. Attempting to hide this reaction he reaches for his drink just as Ace turns around with a quick “I’ll make your food now! The usual for both of course” over his shoulder.
Marco is so busy staring at him, he completely misses the straw and ends up licking the air with his tongue in an ill-fated attempt to grab the utensils. He ends up spilling half the tea onto himself.
Tobi-Sabo snorts.  “Smooth”
“Go flutter your eyelashes at someone else Tobi yoi” 
“I do not flutter my eyelashes!”
Marco meets his glare with a mocking chin tilt. “Oh sure, you don’t. Maybe you just have something in your eyes each time you look at a guy then?”
Tobi-Sabo flushes then sneer back  “Maybe your neck gets so stiff all the time so you have to tilt your chin up all the time. You're old.”
“You take that back yoi!”
“Never!”
Ezra appears then carrying a tray with refills.  “Boys boys, you both pretty. Stop it already, table nine is complaining about the noise. We wouldn’t want my dear old boss to learn of your less than honest work would we?”
Both males freeze. Yes, Ace is proud of Luffy’s pirate career but it seems the freckled male couldn’t stand any other lawbreaker all that much. Marco wasn’t sure how far but he’s heard from his various brothers who all stop here at one point, that Ace firey temper mostly erupted when pirates or revolutionaries made a mess of things on the island. 
Besides wasn’t there that rumor of his grandfather being in the Marines? What if Ace got offended that he regularly injured those idiots?
“Behave” Ezra crackles. Flouncing away with chippy little steps. That brat.
“Truce.” Tobi-Sabo offers. It’s not overly surprising. They have been calling little truces for a few weeks now after that one terrible time Ace had caught them mid bickering battle and looked utterly devastated.  Marco never wanted to see that expression on his face ever again.
“For now yoi”  
Tobi-Sabo grimaces at him.  “Old man.”
“Lying wig wearer.”
“For the last, my hair is real!”  
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superprincesspea · 7 years
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The Honey House, Chapter 18
The Lion Tamer
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MASTERLIST
The matchstick fort was just as Negan had remembered, except of course for the frost that glazed the blades of grass and topped the wooden beams to remind everyone that winter would soon be here. He drove right up to the gate and climbed out of the car, leaning one hand on the door frame while the two guards trained their rifles in readiness. He’d never spoken to either of these women but he could see the recognition slowly sinking into their eyes as their lips spread into easy smiles.
“Ladies,” he nodded with a panty dropping grin, or at least that's what he liked to think, when he turned up the charm, not that is charm had been working too well in these parts the last time he was here.
Without another word the women scrambled from their post and the gates began to creak open wide enough for him to drive inside the walls. The planters weren’t as green as they had been but it was still just as beautiful and it still had the same feeling of magic whistling between the long rows of washing lines.
Negan climbed out of his car for the second time, spotting Zuzu darting between people and planters in pursuit of one very unhappy looking chicken. Her little legs were clad in long wellies over thick socks and her bobble hat was desperately clinging to her head with every bounced step. She stopped when she saw him, her eyes growing wide, her attention suddenly undivided allowing the chicken to make it's great escape.
“Hey kid,” Negan held up his hand in a half formed wave before turning to retrieve the cardboard box that was nestled in his passenger seat. When he turned back Zuzu was still there, the look on her face just as curious.
He kneeled, dropping the box to his feet and opening up the flaps to reach inside. One hand wrapped around a child sized pitcher's mitt while the other grabbed a baseball as he began to  wonder why the hell he was kneeling before a kid with a box full of presents. He couldn’t remember exactly what had been going through his head when he’d picked these up on a supply run but he supposed it didn’t matter much now, people were watching, he needed to make his move or look like a fucking idiot.
He stood with his gifts in hand and threw the ball in the air to catch it behind his back. “I figured someone oughta teach you how to throw a curveball like a badass.”
Zuzu cocked her head to the side, the bobble hat finally losing purchase on her head as she half took a step forward, changed her mind and scampered away without looking back. No mitt, no ball, no hat, no chicken.
He’d shot, he’d failed and he felt surprisingly deflated standing like a prick with his little girls baseball mitt outstretched and unclaimed.  
“I think it's a sweet gesture. I’m sure she’ll come around,” a sing song voice cooed over him as a waft of sour milk tinged his nose. He turned to see Carly with her baby strapped to her chest and a enthusiastic smile of big teeth.
Sweet. Jesus Fuck, it was like a dirty word and he didn’t want to be anywhere near the fucking thing. “Of all the things I am darling, sweet is definitely not fucking one of them.”
“You keep telling yourself that Negan but I call it as I see it,” she stroked the soft baby hair or her papoosed kid and flounced away like mother earth as he caught sight of two more women giving him lopsided smiles. The whole thing left a bad damn taste in his mouth. He wasn’t being nice to the kid for altruistic reasons, fuck that, he was being nice for his own gain. That was his story and he was sticking to that mother fucker like a barnacle to the hull of a sinking ship.
He threw the mitt and ball into the box with a miserable grunt as the door of the house swung open, the movement catching his attention. He looked up to see Grandma Ellie and his smile returned although it wasn’t exactly matched by hers. Her lips were pressed in a hard line, her eyes crinkling into a disapproving frown as she dried her wrinkled hands on her bright yellow pinny. “She’s gone,” she said, her voice empty of any emotion.
Maybe it was the way she said it, the way she was looking at him or just all of Negan’s deep buried fears were suddenly realised but his stomach plummeted right to the bottom of his feet, a place it never usually rested. “What do you mean she’s gone?” he demanded, half certain he was being paranoid yet too paranoid to give a shit.
Grandma Ellie crossed her arms about her chest giving him a pointed look, the sort of look that told him ‘watch who you're talking to with that tone’. His Grandma had the same look, it was a look that came with the back of her hand upside his head and he’d been on the receiving end of it almost every time he saw her. Almost every time he spoke to her. “You’ve been gone a long time Negan.”
He abandoned his cardboard box, taking long strides to the bottom of the porch steps where his hand gripped the wooden rail, “where is she?”
Grandma stared him down, her eyes a faded moss version of Rae’s bottle green. Negan blinked, letting her win the unspoken competition they’d entered into and she rewarded him with an answer. “She's out.”
Negan inhaled a heavy breath, relief plastering a smile on his face as he tried to smooth the furrow that had creased concern into his brow.
Her arms fell easily to her sides, her voice was now as carefree as a summer's day, “she’s checking bait traps with Tim.”
Bait traps with Tim. That fucker. He squeezed a little tighter to his handrail and memory joined forces with his imagination to flash an image of Lucille saying a thirsty hello to the side of Tim’s head.
“But you were worried,” Grandma’s face cracked a knowing little smile peeling at the corners of her lips and twinkling in her eyes as she stood all high and mighty on her porch steps as if she were God. “That's good.”
Negan snorted, “well I’m glad I have your fu- approval. Whats next? I have to jump through a ring of fire or bring you the heart of a mountain lion?”
Grandma’s smile only widened as she looked him up and down like he was a dog come home covered in mud, “I suppose you’d better come in.” At that she headed back inside, reminding him “boots at the door - this isn’t a barn.” Then she looked back over her shoulder with the laser point stare that also belonged to both Rae and Zuzu, “I never said you have my approval.”
Negan bit back his smile, watching her walk away before he hopped down the porch steps to grab his cardboard box. He set it by the front door and unlaced his boots as he laughed to himself in private. He’d forgotten how being here was going to make him feel. Like he was just a man. Like he was back to a time where he still gave a damn what people thought about him. A time before he’d ever killed a person or seen a dead man stand up and keep walking.  
He left his boots and his box next to the door then headed in the house to find Grandma Ellie sitting in her parlor with a pair of glasses perched on her nose as she mended the knee of some well worn trousers.
“I’d offer you tea or coffee, but we’re fresh out of everything,” she said without taking her eyes off her sewing.
Coffee. Negan made a mental note. He’d brought a few things with him but not enough to make a dent in the supplies needed for an entire community. Even as King Dick he couldn’t remove too many supplies from the stores without a shit tonne of questioning, or at least a shit tonne of people whispering behind his back that he was taking supplies somewhere. He didn’t need that kind of hassle, he couldn’t exactly break all his own rules even if he was the one sitting at the top. “I’m alright sweetheart,” he crooned and Grandma made a noise that was both approving and disapproving at the same time.
He watched her pull the needle through the trousers a couple of times before walking to the window that faced the front gate and peeling back the net curtain with one gloved finger as the clock ticked silently in the background. He hadn’t exactly expected a grand entrance but he’d at least expected Rae to be here. He never had to wait for his wives, they were always there. like vultures circling a dying animal and he supposed that wasn’t really a good thing.
He let the net swish shut and turned back to the parlor. There was a piano in the corner, just like in Rae’s apartment. Behind it there was a brass plaque that had once belonged outside, it read ‘Mrs Honey’s Piano School.’
“Sit down Negan, you’re setting me on edge with all your loitering,” Grandma Ellie ordered as he reached his hand out to twitch at the curtain once more. He clenched his fist and laughed under his breath before ignoring her request and walking over to the sideboard that held a collection of photographs in tarnished frames.
There was a very young looking Grandma Ellie, probably younger than Rae was now, she reminded him of Maureen O’Hara in all the Western’s he’d watched as a kid and even though the print wasn’t colour he could tell she’d been a red head. Another goddamn fireball redhead, he might have known. “You were a knockout Grandma Ellie,” he said, smiling to himself.
“Were?” she peeked up from her sewing, her eyes almost sparkling now and he bet she’d been the kind of girl that had all the boys jumping through hoops of fire and taming mountain lions for a chance at a kiss.
“Are,” Negan corrected as the telltale creak of the front gate caught his attention.
He was on the porch in time to see Rae returning with Tim by her side and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t piss him off. It did fucking piss him off. He wanted to be the one setting traps or whatever the fuck they’d been doing. Except that was a lie too. He didn’t want to be setting traps with Rae he wanted to be counting every last one of her freckles with his tongue and seeing exactly what sound she made when her legs were quivering in pleasure. She was a musician so he’d imagined that she’d make a great sound, the kind of sound he’d want to play on an endless loop.
Negan was hard just thinking about it, he’d done nothing but think about it. Every night, every morning, hell every afternoon since he’d been here he’d been thinking about her. He adjusted the crotch of his jeans and stepped off the porch, taking a lean against his car and just watching her.
She was more real than he remembered. Every fantasy he’d fantasized hadn’t done justice to the long lengths of her legs or the deep red of her hair as it caught every ray of clouded sun.
She spotted him and when their eyes locked his heart stopped beating, but in a good way, the kind of way that told him there was something very special about Miss Rachel Honey. The kind of special that made a man wonder where he could find a mountain lion and a ring of fire.
///
Rae hadn’t expected to see Negan yet there he was. Tall, dark and handsome with his leather jacket and devilish smile as he leaned against a cherry red car that looked like it belonged in the 1950’s, all white walled tyres and chrome bumpers. His hands caressed along the bodywork, his eyes never looking away from her.
“I was hoping we weren’t gonna see him again,” Tim grumbled, slamming the gate closed with an unnecessary bang.
“He said he’d come back.”
“That didn’t mean I wanted him too,” Tim stood directly in front of her, blocking her view of Negan as his hand toyed with the strap of his rifle. She stared at his chest, trying to avoid eye contact but he demanded her attention by calling her name, “Rae!”
She looked at him, her jaw tightened with annoyance. Since she’d kissed Negan, they hadn’t spoken about it like she'd suspected they might have done and she’d been grateful. They’d settled back into the easy ways of their friendship and she’d avoided any situation or any conversation that might have led to the way he was looking at her right now. “He didn’t come back for you,” she said, sidestepping him and his disapproval.
“He doesn't care about you Rae, if he did he wouldn’t have been gone so long.”
Tim’s words were just loud enough for her to hear and they poured salt in the wound that had opened up over the past few weeks as she’d told herself the exact same thing. Her giddy excitement burned down to a simmer that even Negan’s smile couldn’t reheat as she put one foot in front of the other.
Tim might not have wanted Negan and his Saviors to return and Rae might have had her own reasons but everyone else, even Margo, had been talking a whole mountain of gossip about when they would come back. With this many women all clumped together with nothing to do but chores and chatter it was to be expected. It didn’t hurt that Negan had what seemed like a honeypot of good looking men who had, as Carly had put it, “saved them all.”
Negan had been put on a pedestal by some of her people. Of course almost everyone had only seen Negan from afar, they’d never had an up close and personal meeting with his very large ego. They hadn’t kissed him either. She licked her lips remembering the way her heart had raced. Despite all doubts that had convinced her Negan was a bad idea, it was racing right now at just the thought of his hands on her waist and his body pressed against hers. She could almost breathe in the scent of his skin all wrapped up in soft leather and the faint metal tang of blood.
“You missed me Red?” he spread his arms out wide, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a soft smile that betrayed the brutal way he could kill a man.
Of course he wouldn’t say ‘hello’, he was probably expecting her to dive into his arms. “You almost seem familiar...” she toyed with his overzealous ego.
His smile faded, “it's been a while.”
“Almost 4 weeks,” Rae blurted, springing his smile back to life.
“You’ve been counting the days baby doll?”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear in a motion she hoped was enough to hide the blush that spread as quick as her smile. She wouldn’t call it counting up the days, she’d call it ‘noticing’ them. And if she was trying to make him feel bad or trying not to lose her head she was failing miserably.
Negan began to step closer and her heart hammered even harder than it had been since she’d first spotted him.“I had unexpected difficulties but I definitely didn’t forget about you, your freckles or any other parts.” his gaze swept down her body, she was clad in a parker, jeans and a thick flannel shirt but she might have been naked with the way his eyes devoured her.
Rae cleared her throat, “I should take these to the house.” She held up the two rabbits which happened to be her biggest game haul to date, not that the meat from two little cottontails would spread far with twenty four mouths to feed.
Negan looked at her hands, distraction giving her the opportunity to escape and regain composure rather than blushing and smiling like a juvenile. She turned on her heel, taking purposeful strides to the safety of the house and she almost made it. In fact she got further than she thought before an iron clad grip held her elbow, locking her into place on the porch.
“You running away from me Red?”
“Just walking,” she answered just like she had when she’d first brought Negan here.
He chuckled, spinning her around and moving so his body was an inch from being flush with hers. His thumb brushed her cheek, the leather of his glove smooth and warm, uncontrolled instinct had her face nuzzling against his hand and soaking up the familiarity of him. Then right on the porch, where everyone was watching, his hands cupped her face and he leaned in for a kiss.
Rae pulled back, her heart fluttering with need but her head filled with reluctance and fully aware of all the spectators. “You’re practically a stranger,” she insisted, despite the fact that everything about the way Negan was making her feel was telling her otherwise.
“That's not what you said last time you kissed me sweetheart.”
“That was different,” she straightened up her spine, “you’ve been gone for weeks and…” his smug look pissed her off, no matter how she felt she had her principles - not that those principles had worked out too well with Jacob but that only made her more vigilant, she wasn’t some floozy he could come and fuck, “just because I kissed you once doesn’t mean it's gonna happen again.”
She stepped into the house, away from prying eyes and with Negan in hot pursuit. If she thought he was letting her walk to where she wanted to go she was wrong. He held her waist, manhandling her into the broom closet.
He pulled the light cord, the bulb warmed up a hazy glow that filled the space that was so consumed by Negan and his wolfish grin. “You’re right Red but you’re also fucking wrong. You’re mine no matter how many times you kiss me and you want this just as fucking much as I do.”
Rae sucked her bottom lip in a motion that didn’t go unnoticed by Negan as his gaze focused every ounce of attention on her mouth before slowly creeping back up to her eyes. When she’d told herself Negan was a bad idea she hadn’t remembered how good it made her feel, or how alive.
“Let's reacquaint.” He yanked the rabbits from her hands, dropping them to the floor before his lips crashed into hers in a desperate frenzy. His body pinned her against the shelves filled with canned apples as his hands snuck into her winter coat to explore. She couldn’t breath and she didn’t want to, she wanted him to consume her until there was nothing left but tingled electricity.  
“Has anyone seen my granddaughter?” Grandma’s voice filled the hallway in tune with footfalls.
Negan stopped their kiss, his forehead pressed to hers.
“She’s probably with him,” Tim replied and Rae could almost picture the agitated way he would be adjusting his wiry glasses as he said, “I don’t think he can be trusted alone with Rae.”
Negan laughed, his hand snaking between her thighs as he whispered, “he’s not fucking wrong, I'll give Timmy that.”
Grandma’s response was faded and their footsteps retreated as Negan stood back, giving her room to collect herself. He dug into the pocket of his jeans and for a fleeting moment she thought he was going to pull out a condom and fuck her right up against the tinned fruit. Instead he pulled out a set of car keys, “red for Red,” he purred in a deep husky whisper.
“The one outside?”
“Let's take her for a spin,” he placed the keys in her palm, “and it's not a request baby doll. I didn’t drag my ass here to help Grandma darn Timmy’s trousers. And from the look on your face that's not what you want me to do either.”
Of course he was right and that only made Rae want to prove him wrong, “you’re so obnoxious.”
“And you love every fucking minute of it,” Negan spanked her so hard she yelped as she tried to casually slip from the closet. Luckily nobody was there to see it.
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