#how we break

[tojisun]

this is how we break!toji in the au where he left a preggo reader and unborn baby himari ALONE 🗿 foul evil man

OH MY GODDD ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE HOW WE BREAK BXJSJDJEN CRYING AT THE ACCURACY OF THIS??

(this aint even hwb!au. this is canon toji 😭)

#anon #ask #how we break

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[xandrikart]

The most beautiful thing about Drawtectives is that you can choose any combination and you will be right. But no way I'm ignoring a beautiful garb next to York.

#iiii overworked my wrist and had to take a break from drawing #now I'm trying to remember how to hold stylus #Kids... do stretches #I was trying to find the original meme and did not succeed #ALSO I SPENT TWO DAYS NO KIDDING TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IS IT “WE HAVE” #“WE'VE GOT” OR “WE GOT” AND I JUST GAVE UP #drawtectives #drawfee #art

[lostlegendaerie]

there's something deeply gutting about being a writer right now. watching studio execs brag about starving people like you out of your very house just to not pay you anything above the pennies you currently make. watching some people cheer over AO3 being targeted for a DDOS attack. the complete lack of profitability of writing commissions or writing in general in transformative spaces, especially in contrast to fanart. the pivot of so many social media platforms to be video and image based near-exclusively.

I don't know. it just makes me sad to know that the hobby that kept me alive while growing up homeschooled with dial-up internet and local antenna TV... is only ever gonna be a side job with minimal engagement. I know this site is good about supporting libraries and the concept of books but, do me a favor? Reach out to a writer friend you know. Leave a comment on your last five read stories on your favorite website.

Tell us you care.

#maybe that's why I've been so stalled on my novel #I keep trying to convince myself there's a POINT to it #but I look at how BRUTAL the publishing industry is and how I can't even consistently break ten reblogs on writing I post here #and I just. it hurts. and I have other hobbies I could fall back on!!! I could do art and cosplay and cater to the immediate engagement!! #but writing is my LOVE and my PASSION and I just wish. I wish the current climate CARED about us #TALKED to us the way we talk to cosplayers and artists and the chocolate guy #UGH. Wednesday blues hitting me NASTY today

[novelconcepts]

The defintion of hell is knowing a show is incredibly well-received in its first season, but if people don’t become machines churning out tweets, content, and rewatching 24/7, there’s no likelihood it’ll get a chance to tell its whole story. This shit is madness. Shows in different genres shouldn’t have to pit-battle for dominance. First seasons are MEANT to be baselines establishing worlds and characters, not complete storylines. The idea that this golden age of television has turned into “get it done in one or get out” is revolting.

#the sandman #paper girls #some of the hot takes on Twitter are breaking me #‘why don’t we know the whole story? it’s bad writing if you don’t have a complete story in the first season’ girl WHAT since WHEN #how many excellent shows were weak as fuck in S1?? and here we’re getting shows with incredible first seasons fighting for their lives #like fuckin Christ dude the idea of long form storytelling is allowing your story time and space to spread out #otherwise we would only make movies #i am so sick of this edge of my seat fear that any new show I fall in love with will get axed because the higher powers don’t care about art #this has to be a bubble right? this has to pop at some point and go back to shows valued on what they are #and don’t even get me started on creators having to beg for good reviews to balance out review-bombing from shitheads #if every one star review is clearly bigoted from the comments? why is anyone taking them into account?? #why is there no way to manage this shit aside from creators being like ‘please help us”’

[divorcedfiddleford]

hold shifty gentle like hamburger

#desperately trying to break out of my art block with the guys #anyway happy friday #gravity falls #stanford pines #fiddleford mcgucket #fiddauthor #if u want #i still am disappointed w how the journal handled the shapeshifter. very underwhelming imo #we couldve had a fucked up parental relationship between these guys and their weird homicidal son #or the identity crisis implied by 'am i me? is he me?' #we could've had the thing (1982) but with a much smaller and gayer cast #but instead they just put fiddleford in a box and had him be scared again. lame #artwork of the damned

[buzzingroyalty]

which one of you mother fuckers was going to tell me he put an Our Drawings by Calobi Productions aka the beatboxing puppy movie reference in here

#unless calobi got it from somewhere else and I’m just now hearing about it #how the fuck do we get here #hlvrai #bbvrai #??? is this the tag for it let me double check #brbvrai #brbavrai #wrtv #rtvs #breaking bad

[spicyraeman]

Lae'zel doodle with some post zaith'isk hcs

#bg3 #lae'zel #nice TBI hows the whole traitor to your people thing goin btw #we just... do not talk about how this girl can get holes punched in her brain in act 1 #and the only way to fix it is slurp down one of the worms #yknow the thing that laezel is the most resistant to doing #she has the worst day of her life and then when she goes to do the thing she was explicitly told to do in this situation #it just gets even worse #she just cant catch a break

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT! #look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !” #cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

[tojisun]

Hi, I don’t know if you’re still writing for how we break, but I was wondering if you could write a blurb or one shot about what it’d be like if reader ended up with nanami instead? and what if yuuji was their son (reader and nanami adopted him) and that’s how megumi and toji found reader again? anyway this was just a question so don’t feel pressured to write it or anything, have a nice day!

OMG!!! wait this got me scratching the walls???

unfortunately i dont write for how we break anymore sweetheart :((

how we break was written at the time when i was soooo into gojo (aside from toji) but now??? it feels like nanami is my the one that got away 😭

he wouldve been such a good partner; such a good dad. the way reader would still move on slowly, but idk. with gojo, there was a whole lot of gojo distracting reader from her heartache. but i think with nanami, he’d let her embrace her heartache and be there for her when she, uh, breaks.

gonna scream actually, my mind is envisioning and restructuring the whole series rn 😭

but also i butchered the jjk universe to make that fic make sense :(( yuuji n megumi were childhood friends in some parts; yuujis parents are also alive (bc dear gods that boy deserves a happy life)!! so idk if itd make sense for nanami to adopt yuuji hhhhhd

thank u sm for this food for thought and food for soul, nonnie <33 take care!!

#anon #ask #how we break

[kazz-brekker]

the book ice court heist has big group project involving people who don’t like each other vibes but the tv version is just going to be forced couples counseling via trying not to die together

#obviously some of the crows in the books have plenty of history #but the show version will be like. kanej who managed to break up without every dating #wesper who will have progressed past the honeymoon stage into some possible distrust due to the van eck thing #and helnik being helnik which is a Whole Issue on its own #shadow and bone #six of crows #kanej #wesper #helnik #i reeeally want to know how wylan concealing his past will affect things with jesper #and kaz and inej on a job together after she left…oh boyyyy #fingers crossed we get that renewal and spin off

[humming-fly]

Just like Justin Mcelroy's callbacks to the chilean miners I have once again emerged to deliver this, More Team Greed Nonsense, this time featuring stupid questions ed asks to get out of work

ngl drawing this is the most clear headed I've felt in weeks if i go longer then seven days without drawing greedling I start going through withdrawl

to that end have a second bonus:

Team Greed Doodles Masterlist

#slapping this out right before i have some outdoor adventures of my own #also tumblr's new post editor wants me dead specifically i see #moving images is So slippery now jeez #playing with breaking up the text a bit since i sort of have 2 bonuses and wasn't sure how to play that lol #fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #greed #greedling #ling yao #edward elric #team greed #comic #doodles #my art #oh and we've gotten rid of the preview on blog button too now haven't we great #time to draft more feedback forms! my favorite!

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #gallagher #i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU #and then blade constantly just being blade as usual #its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but #i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary #but the amount of times blade was the recipient...... #i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just #get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better #so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle #funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still #but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me #so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ? #i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway #one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys #also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out #i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool #and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher #so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought #(no i am not but we can pretend)

[sandflakedraws]

so i'm readin various stuff on the xray cause this silly film is my current source of joy and

wait

hold up.

what...

WAHT ??? WHAT

XRAY CAST DESCRIPTION????

YEARS???

xrAY dESCRIPTION eXPLaIN!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FLOYD WAS HELD CAPTIVE FOR YEARS, WHAT SECRET INFO DO U HAVE ACCESS TO???

#joey babbles #trolls band together #trolls floyd #I. don't know what to do with this random snippet #to be fair - #each description of the brozone bros expands a little bit further than the films do (ex. clay being a prankster) so is this. is this canon? #no? yes? half? #did velvet and veneer have him for years and only recently explode on the scene cause they got like. a big break? #some financial backing? a viral video? spotlight on spotify? #were they just experimenting with the best way to harvest a troll's core and only recently hit the jackpot method? #we never learn how the spritz bottle was made in the first place #my brain is bungled . #y. years....?

[in-my-loki-feels]

I can't stop thinking about pairing this guy:

with this guy:

Just something about the absolute goofball energy of the first, running into the megalomaniac energy of the second. I feel like President Loki would be all "I am here to rule and nothing's going to stop me!" and the Mobius variant would be confused but on board and also distracted by a dish on another table: "Oh yeah? Cool, cool, tell me more. Hey, are you going to eat that?"

ETA: I ended up writing a short thing for this idea. Adding a link here in case the one in the reblogs isn't obvious.

There is now a 4+1 expanded version up on AO3!

#president loki #mobius m mobius #lokius au #originally i was just thinking about how owen is at the start of the skit #dentist turned janitor turned influencer #but we can take it a step further and make it about indianapolis bones #president loki showing up with an entourage to some swanky dinner where dr bones has been cornered #all hell breaks loose when the 'interested parties' bring out weapons because loki's men think it's an attack on loki #in the chaos dr bones hooks an arm through loki's and runs out to 'save' him #loki is obviously confused and outraged and possibly interested in this strange fedora-wearing man? #that's all i got #stop thinking of new fic ideas challenge failed #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #lokius

[steviesbicrisis]

Okay but I need more of comedic bits with new-to-upside-down-shit Eddie and way-too-comfortable-with-trauma Steve.

Like, imagine them sleeping together, for the first time, in the heat of the moment and then there’s a sound from downstairs and Steve takes half a second to grab a fucking nailed bat seemingly out of nowhere?? And Eddie being like okay that’s it I’m gonna die, I just slept with a serial killer wow

And Steve is like what?? Why would I use this on a human

And Eddie, forgetting for half a second that monsters exist, being like WHAT DO YOU USE THIS ON???

#Steve: I cannot believe you’d think I would use it on you #Eddie: ahahha right I’m so dumb #Steve: unless you break my heart you have nothing to worry about #Eddie: … why is this a turn on for me??? #steddie #figuring things about themselves in the most unhinged ways ✨ #and that’s how we love them #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve and eddie #stranger things #steve x eddie #sbc writes