#however do i care about a little girl and the embodiment of jesus doing fucking nothing but walking? hell yea

[bitchykuromi]

*looking at my interests* why do i hate romance

#it never means anything to me lmfao!!! #tried to watch 5 centimeters apart and im like. do i give a fuck about this straight couple #the answer was no #however do i care about a little girl and the embodiment of jesus doing fucking nothing but walking? hell yea #angel.txt

[pure-kirarin]

Slow & Steady [P2] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)

Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy

A/N : This is really different from my usual writing style but I am experimenting. Please tell me your thoughts and don’t hesitate to ask to be added to the tag list :) AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/31877203?view_full_work=true

In the last chapter --  «-Enough playing now, you're going to sleep. -B-but ! This wasn't what I asked for....You're really a coward after all...You virgin... » He carried you to his room, putting you on the bed and sitting next to you. «-I'd love to prove you wrong. However, it would be better if you were in a state where you'd be able to recall how good I am. If you want me to fuck you this badly then maybe ask me when you're sober.

Part I - Part II

Part II  -Yeah yeah...Pff..You're no fun Sabo. Things were finally getting interesting ! »

He smiled seeing that you were now calmer. You started to yawn and bury your face in his pillow. He loved to see you getting so comfortable in his room. He really needed a cold shower after your little show.  -Goodnight (Y/N). I'll sleep on the couch. You can get comfortable. -Are you crazyy ? You gonna leave me alone like this ? Let's sleep together~ -Come on (Y/N), you're a big girl. You could sleep alone for one night, would you ? Translation : I don't want to spend the whole night with a semi. And you're dangerously flirty, and I have wanted you for years and now I have to abstain.

-Pleaaaase. You said looking at him with puppy eyes. He rolled his eyes placing a hand in his hair. God.damn.it.

You won again. Like every time. * * *  You opened your eyes hardly next day, feeling something hard against your thigh. You looked at the ceiling

Oh...I am not in my room...Where the fuck am I ?

you turn around only to discover the embodiment of Adonis to your side. A light beam was lighting up Sabo's face. He looked like an angel as his beauty couldn't be that of a human.

Was he always this handsome ?

You didn't know, in fact, you have never had the occasion to wake up in his bed. Wait, in his bed ? This realization came slowly as your head was still foggy from yesterday's consumption.

You looked down, the thing that was pressing against your leg was indeed :

his thing.

You frowned, blushed, pulled away, put a hand on your lips repressing an internal scream, all of this in around three seconds. You then tried to calm down, telling yourself that it was very normal for a man to experience this kind of morning unconviniences, and that Sabo was a man, after all. Even if  you have always seen him as a bestfriend, he was still a man that is capable of physical attraction.

Now that this internal monologue was done with, you felt a bit calmer, but that didn't answer your question. You got out of bed, trying to recall what happened after going in the bar. And it came back. All of it. Without any mercy for your feelings.

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Your only wish was to disappear which meant : calling Nami. You headed out of the house, not even having the courage to face your bestfriend.

« Namiiiii -Uh ? What's the matter ? -I fucked up. I fucked up really bad. -Oh yeah ? Tell me about it. -Wait, why do you seem excited ? -O-oh I'm not excited. Come on tell me. What else could you have possibly done ? -I asked Sabo to fuck me. -Wait what ? You could hear Vivi ask Nami about what happened and her answering « She asked Sabo to fuck her ». -Nami ! Don't go on telling everyone about this. I'm on my way. -For starters, Vivi isn't « everyone », she's my girlfriend. And I'm here waiting for you to tell me what happened. -Wait, I'll come at your place. This can't be discussed over the phone. »

You hung up on her. Ten minutes later, you were at her place. Extremely confused. Nami was painting her nails bright red on the bed while Vivi was sitting comfortably on a chair. You let your whole body weight fall on a lounge pug, tourmented.  «-So tell me how you and Sabo ended up fucking. She emphasized the last word in a way that made you almost choke on air.  -We didn't actually. Nami and Vivi both sighed in a synchronized « Ah » of disappointment. -So hmm...I don't remember clearly. I was really drunk-- well that you're aware of and...And Sabo didn't want to leave me alone so we went to his place. Ace was at Thatch's so we were alone. We hugged and he comforted me. Then I started teasing him, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I kissed him, and then I asked him to fuck me. -Wow that escalated quickly. Said Nami as she continued painting her nails.

-Well, I was heartbroken, I needed something, someone, and he was there, and you know Sabo, he's a good guy ! I don't know what's worse, the fact that I asked him to fuck me or the fact that he said no.

-Oh god I'm so so sorry

- Nami please don't make things worse for me.

-No offense, but you're so dense. Sabo has always been into you. Do you want him, or do you not ? I know that going right into a relationship after a breakup is a bad idea. But honestly it's worth giving it a shot. He's a really good guy. Try dating someone nice for once.

-I don't know, he has something unsettling about him. Like « almost too good to be true » you know ? Added Vivi.

-Ohhh~ I see. Honestly, I always thought that he was a bit prude and hella vanilla. I mean, yes, he's my best friend. But he has never talked about girls to me or about sexual stuff. So I just assumed that. I never thought that he'd be packin' like that. You said as you popped a lollipop in your mouth.

-Ah ? Was it really that impressive ? asked Nami, genuinely curious.

-Yeah. On a scale from 0 to doflamingo he's a solid eight point seventy five. (*)

-Oh gosh. I understand why you're so worked up now.

-That's really...precise. Added Vivi, a bit horrified.

(*) [ The dear reader might need this clarification ; Doflamingo was Law's uncle, he sometimes came to pick him up after uni with his luxurious lamborghini. He wore extremely tight pants that left little to the imagination. And he was most known among your clique for having a nine incher. It was a running joke wether to know if Law got his uncle's genes. Needless to say that this joke wasn't to Law's taste. Now back to our adorable Y/N. ]

-So. I really don't know what to do. I am still heartbroken. -And horny. Added the ginger. -Yeah, that too. I'm afraid of ruining our friendship. -Listen dear, said Nami as she was closing the nail polish bottle, if you're not going for it, someone else would. And trust me, that girl Koala is upping her game. She's going to steal him right in front of your eyes, just like this - and she snapped her fingers. -Oh, and then, you can forget about being « best friends ». Said Vivi adding fuel to the fire. -Yeah, once he's gonna start dating, he won't have too much time for you-- and then, that Koala girl, my god, she seems extremely possessive ! -No way, your voice was detached, trying to act is if you weren't worried, Sabo has never dated any girl before.- -Yes but he seems to get along with that girl. And to be honest, she's kinda cute.

-Nami ! Vivi pinched her forearm playfully, pretending to be jealous.

-That hurt ! And don't be jealous, you know that you're my only one~

-Hmm...I prefer that. Vivi laughed. You started caughing reclaiming for their attention.

-Attention please ! We're discussing my dick-appointment here.

-Jesus you're really annoying, (Y/N), just go for it already.

-How much did he pay you to tell me this huh ?

-What ? He didn't pay me ! You're just always getting your heart broken. I'm just trying to be a good friend.

-Say that you are trying to get rid of her~ Jokes Vivi.

-Vivi, don't expose me like this- Nami plays along while laughing.

-I hate you girls ! You say as you throw a pillow on Nami. The ginger starts complaining that you messed her Nail polish, and the whole scene metamorphosed into a pillow fight.

* * *

You spent the whole day with the girls, chit-chatting about boys and girls and playing stupid games. You felt way more comfortable now, less ashamed. However, you were surprised because you didn't get a message from your bestfriend. You wondered wether he was mad at you, it wasn't in his habits.

You decided to message Ace [click for conversation] [ (Y/N) : Heyy amigo is Sabo ok ? Did he tell u smth abt yesterday ? Ace : Ouch, your hurting my feelings, </3 Only talking to me to ask about my brother~ Yea hes okay why tho ? (Y/N) : Ooo kay. He's home ? Ace : He is. Why don't u directly text him ? (Y/N) : Don't tell him I asked. Btw I didn't forget about those 10 bucks you « borrowed » from me. Give it back.] He didn't answer. You sighed and decided to go see Sabo to settle things down. It was the first time that you were embarrassed to see your best friend. You dressed up in a black skirt and t shirt. You didn't usually pay attention to your looks when you went to hang out at Sabo's, but you were really stressed out and what the girls have said about Koala made you scared of losing him. After all, you had some abandonment issues. You had to settle this down once and forever. You arrived at the guy's place, it was an apartment not so far from your own student flat. You knocked on the door and Ace opened : -Ohhh, (Y/N), he whistles, lookin' like a girl today huh ? -What are you implying you dumbass ? Where's Sabo ? -He's in his room with Koala.- -Wait what ? Koala ? What is she doing here ? Ace raised an eyebrow then said amused ; -I don't know, go ask him yourself. -You're useless as usual. -Always so sweet. You on your period or something ? -I didn't forget about my twenty bucks by the way. -I said I'm goin' to pay you back alright ? Now go talk to Sabo. You and Ace were always teasing each other in a brotherly way, but in reality, he really cared for you, it was just your usual way of communication. But it was true that knowing that Koala was in Sabo's room put you in a bad mood. You knocked on the door with a knot in your stomach. Did they start dating ? Was Sabo interested in her ? These ideas were torturing you. But why did you care anyways ? It was none of your business. He could date whoever he wants. You opened the door but there was only Sabo relaxing on his bed, still fully clothed. « - Sabo ?-Oh, (Y/N), what brings you here ? -Why ? Do I need a reason to see my best friend ? He sits on bed looking at you. He doesn't fail to notice your cute outfit, it was different from your usual sweatpants and hoodies, the way it complemented your figure was almost too much for him. Just that sight was driving him insane, but his face didn't betray his emotions, like always, he acted friendly, not an ounce of lust in his dark ebony eyes. You took place next to him. He smelled good, you thought. The same fresh minty smell as last time. Did he always smell this good ? -(Y/N) ?Huh ? Is everything okay ? His voice seemed concerned.He cared for you. And you had those stupid immature and posessive thoughts. Get a grip of yourself, (Y/N), you thought. -Oh yea-- wasn't Koala here ? Ace told me you were with her.

You tried so hard to act like you didn't care, but he knew you like the back of his hand. But still, he played along. -Hmm..Yes. She just left. I was going out as well. He says with a sweet smile, looking at his watch. You couldn't help but make a disappointed face. -But Sabo I wanted to - I'm really sorry (Y/N), let's talk later. He ruffles your hair and you close your eyes as he does so. You felt stressed out. What happened exactly ? You felt intimidated in his presence for the first time. You wanted him to stay and talk this out. It was a bit awkward for you now. You never thought too much. As he was going out of the room you held the fabric of his coat tight in your hand ; -Sabo- -Hum ? Need me to drop you somewhere ? -N-no. You let his sleeve go, realizing what you have just done, I'll stay a bit then go back home. Don't worry about me. -Alright then. See you later ? -Yeah. See ya. ]

You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn't the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn't even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo. But why ? He didn't do anything. He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.

He didn't even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.

A few days have passed and you didn't get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn't feel ready.

Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.

Who were you exactly to him ?

Maybe you took him for granted.

As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo's ringtone ! ----- Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)

#one piece x reader #one piece imagines #one piece scenario #revolutionary sabo #sabo x reader #sabo x you #sabo #one piece scenarios #one piece sabo #one piece sabo x reader #nami #vivi #doflamingo #donquixote doflamingo #trafalgar law #nami x vivi #portgas ace #ace

[taliaquinn]

Why Me!? Chapter 14

Marinette was bundled up in her blankets on her very expansive bed and was focused on the screen in front of her. An irritated Chloe Bourgeois, an impatient Aurore, and a glaring Kagami, who was sharpening her saber, were staring back at her. Marinette made a quick mental note to ask her how many sabers she has. Juleka had confiscated her saber, unfortunately, it seemed like Kagami had spares. 

“-then Alya had the nerve to ask the committee to reinstate your plans, of course since I’m on the committee I immediately shot down that idea, She of course immediately threw a tantrum and was almost kicked out, later she had a live stream ranting about how being class president is so difficult” Chloe said making air quotes. 

“Of course at this point, she had only 30 viewers, most of them from Bustiers” Kagami added putting away her saber. 

“How is it that Alya only had the job for LESS THAN A WEEK and is already stressed, meanwhile we both had the job for over a year and yet we never cracked” Chloe ranted. 

“Some people are just unappreciative,” piped Aurore. Chloe snorted, that was the understatement of the year.

“Anyways talking about her leaves a bad taste in my mouth, Marinette when are you returning to us?” Aurore asked she missed the bluenette.

“Probably in a year,I’m getting enrolled in some school in Gotham”

“Are your aunt and uncle okay with you staying for the rest of the year?” 

Oh right Marinette forgot that was her cover story. She hated lying to her friends even more. But She was scared of how the others would treat her if they found out her parentage and if she would be able to tell the difference between the honest people and the fake gold-diggers, the Alya’s, Alix’s and Nino’s so to speak. 

Now It was getting harder to be able to video call her friends in a spot that would get her privacy and doesn’t look too extravagant.

Her new room was far bigger than her room in Paris, which took Marinette some getting used to. Of course, Mr.Wayne made sure to give her money to fill her room up. Although a spool of thread does not cost triple digits, at least the thread that she uses. She already has an area dedicated to her sewing business. 

Tim has been gracious enough to be hmannequin until hers come. Marinette finds it unfair that someone like Tim can be sleep-deprived and coffee-addicted and still look like that. Unfair.

Marinette already finished Ms.Kyles' dress and she’s going to give that to her next time she comes to the Manor. 

“Yeah, they’ve been very uh accommodating, and great actually!!”

“It shows, you look way less stressed and more relaxed” Kagami noted

“The wonders of having a decent sleep schedule” Marinette quipped. Seriously she didn’t have school yet and didn’t have to worry about class duties anymore. It was awesome.

“Oh and great news, We’re going to Europe in a few weeks,” Marinette added excitedly

“WAIT!!!! Exactly when” Aurore asked. 

“Two or three”

“EXCELLENT” Aurore blurted out, “That means that you’ll be able to attend the school dance”

Suddenly all lightbulbs seemed to click on in all the girls.

“That was exactly the final piece we needed” Kagami nodded

“ Yeppers, now all we need is Ladybug and then we’re good” Chloe added.

“Waitwaitwait Final Piece to what?” Marinette asked

“Revenge” All three girls responded in unison.

“Oh boy, you guys wanna clue me in on it? Or is it that type of situation where I want as much Plausible deniability as possible?” With those three you never know.

“Probably best for you to not know anything yet” Chloe chimed sweetly.

Thank god That Marinette can now afford bail

Suddenly she started getting a video call from Dick

“Sorry guys I got my er-cousin calling me, I'll talk with you guys tomorrow,” Marinette said, Receiving a chorus of goodbyes and one whine in response. Marinette hung up and quickly answered Dick.

“Hiya Maribug, sorry I wasn’t able to call you yesterday things are pretty busy around here” Dick greeted. Marinette noticed that the poor guy seemed exhausted, he had dark bags under his eyes and kept on yawning.

“It’s fine Dick, What’s going on?” Marinette asked concerned.

Dick sighed. “It seems that Penguin and Black Mask have set up base here in Bludhaven, unfortunately, the two aren’t playing nice, so now we seem to be on the brink of a gang war,” Dick said tiredly. Both Officer Grayson and Nightwing were busy trying to stop the city from falling into a gang war, of course, that was exhausting.

Gang War? AND HER BROTHER WAS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!? Having a cop brother is stressful enough but having a cop brother in Bludhaven is something else, 

Seriously Bludhaven makes Gotham look like a resort destination and that’s after Nightwing has made his debut. Mr.Wayne told her that Dick was regarded as a good cop who’s been helping root out corruption in the BPD. Which of course puts the idiot in EVEN MORE DANGER. Jesus Christ. Now she can understand why Everyone always seems to mother hen the boy. She’s joining the crusade soon. 

“But you’re not going to be too involved are you Dick?” 

“Sorry Maribug, right now I’m involved, but don’t worry your brother can take care of himself” Dick quickly added with a wink.

“Uh Huh Sure, those eyebags say differently, Go Sleep” Marinette ordered.

Dick Barked out a laugh. “Oh alright Maribug, Night Night” 

“Nighty night” Marinette responded and hung up. She turned over and shifted in a comfortable position and let the darkness overtake her.

Batcave, Wayne Manor Gotham City, USA 8:50 pm

“Damian Marinette is going to start school at Gotham Academy in a few days, I need you to keep an eye on her and help her” Bruce informed Damian

“-tt- of course, father, But I am afraid we’re going to have to come up with a believable cover story”

“No cover story, people are bound to find out soon anyways, but she’s going to be enrolled as Marinette Dupain Cheng so people won't probably make the connection”

“Yeah demon-spawn and if people do get curious as to why you’re being decent, just say she's your cousin or something” Jason added oh ever so helpful

“-tt- Very well”

“We’re going to introduce Marinette in a few weeks anyways, we have a business trip to London so she’s going to make a pitstop in Paris and get her stuff in order before we announce her to the world” Tim piped up upon entering the Batcave.

“Jesus being the Child of Bruce Wayne is going to be stressful enough, imagine how wack it's going to be when she finds she’s the daughter of Batman as well” Jason noted

 “Speaking of which Bruce are you sure we shouldn’t tell Marinette about our little side job, I mean shes noticed that we aren’t exactly normal,” Tim said, while typing away on the batcomputer, right now he was busy trying to track down a few escaped convicts from Arkham and figure out any last known locations of Black Mask and Penguin.

“Yes father she is not an imbecile unlike you Drake”

“Why you little br-”

“We can’t do that” Jason cut in before insults started flying. “She’s a normal kid, She isn’t a secret superhero or nothing, she’s the embodiment of sunshine and happiness, which reminds me Bruce are we sure she’s your kid?” Jason asked

“Yes, I’m sure” Seriously what was it with people questioning it. He wasn’t that gloomy, was he? “She has her own business that has already gained attention and recognition, plus she was a class president in her old school, she had to get that from me” Bruce retorted.

“OH COME ON, we can’t loop her in, She was fucking president of her class, that’s as normal as you can get, Plus right now her sunshine counterpart dickface isn’t here to balance things out anymore” Jason finished. At that reminder, Bruce slightly grimaced. Dick had to go back to Bludhaven for his job. As a Cop. It doesn’t matter how many years it’s been Bruce still worries about his oldest and his choice of career.

“Fine we don’t tell her, what’s going to happen if she’s ever in danger she doesn’t exactly have a panic button that we could give her without arousing suspicions” Tim added.

“Dupain-Cheng isn’t an idiot, she shares fathers blood she’s going to figure it out eventually”

Finally, Bruce made up his mind.

“We can’t risk her life, much less your sister’s life, by revealing our secret for no reason. We aren’t going to tell her-, For now” Bruce quickly added before Jason could make his protests. Taking a quick look at his son's faces it seemed that it was the decision that everyone could agree on, thankfully.

“This is going to totally gonna go wrong isn’t it?” Tim muttered.

It probably will.

Authors Note:                                                                                                     I hope that you guys liked my Infinity War Au. I am definitely going to continue that story line, however I have other one-shots saved to my drafts so yeah keep an eye out for those :). I will be making a taglist for those so just ask. Stay safe and Healthy <3

Hope you guys enjoy today's chapter.

Taglist:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @kass-is-weird @another-fan-of-anotherplan @damianette-is-life @amayakans @parallelparabox @miukiiu @valeks-princess @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @thezestywalru @dreamykitty25 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @mochinek0 @shamefullove @mochegato @souleateralicestein @thestressmademedoit @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @aestheticnpoetic 

#miraculous ladybug #mlb au #maribat #batfam #Marinette deserves better #Damian Wayne #dick grayson #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #bruce wayne #class salt

[caiuscassiuss]

Bandages (Skater Boy AU! NCT Jisung)

y o u n g  v e r.

Description: You swore to god, that attractive boy who kept on coming to the nurse’s office was going to kill himself at this rate. (featuring nurse assistant! you and rebellious skater boy! jisung)

Genre:  fluff | romance | comedy WC: 5.3k Warnings: swearing and some serious roasts

masterlist | requests | updates

(A/N: I hope you enjoy! Please like and reblog~)

______________________________________________________________________

The silence of the nurse’s office was a great contrast to your loud, bustling high school outside. You were glad you got this moment of respite for 2 hours everyday, away from gossiping teenagers and the general chaos of high school.

The nurse was out for a quick break, so you were left to your own accord for a short period of time. You were her assistant of sorts for a few days of the week, selected out of many, so she trusted you in the office. You hummed to yourself as you stocked the cabinets above the sink, a little tune you heard on the radio. You put the antiseptic there, the cotton buds in a jar, and so on. Your thoughts drifted to the never-ending stress as you did your menial task; you had a biology paper due in a few days that you haven’t even started despite being assigned weeks ago, a Calc test coming up, and an anatomy extra credit assignment due that would really boost your grade. It seemed all your time was being claimed by school, school and more school, to be honest. You sighed and wiped a few stray hairs that came loose from your ponytail. All this to become a doctor.

The door creaking and loud chatter from outside broke your anxious thoughts. You told whomever that had entered you would be would with them in a minute as you quickly put back all the stuff and washed your hands. The person hummed in acknowledgement and sat down on own of the beds of the office. You turned around with a smile, only for it to be replaced with a frown.

Park Jisung.

Rebellious Skater Boy extraordinaire.

His dyed blonde hair created a messy halo above his face as he looked up at you with a sheepish smile. His eyes were sparkling and he toyed with the metal chain hanging on his neck.

“Hey Y/N, how’s it going?”

“You’re here again?”

Jisung put on a mock hurt expression and grasped his chest like you had stabbed him.

“Oof! You don’t want to see my handsome face anymore?” he grinned.

You sighed and put your hands on your hips. “What kind of injury have you afflicted upon yourself this time, Jisung?”

Jisung sheepishly held up his bleeding hand and you gasped.

“Jesus Christ! Have I not told you to be more careful?” you nagged as you got out your recently stockpiled antiseptic and swabs.

He leaned back and shrugged. “No pain, no gain, I guess.”

“Gain? Landing that front flip thingy?” you scoffed, taking out the gauze from the closet.

“It’s called a frontside Y/N,” Jisung said, exasperated.

“Front flip, front side, whatever; same thing. Either way, you come into my office looking like you just lost a fight with the concrete!” you shook your head as you bent down beside him to soak the cotton in the antiseptic. So focused were you in this task, you didn’t notice Jisung look at your visage admiringly, appreciating your beautiful features and liking the way your hair fell in front of your eyes.

“Lowkey kinda did— ah, fuck! What was that for!” Jisung exclaimed as he snatched his injured hand away from yours.

You rolled yours eyes and grabbed back his hand. His hands were warm and slightly calloused, however, marred by the many scars he had gotten from skateboarding. You ignored the little spark you got from touching his hand and went back to what you were doing.

“You big baby. A little antiseptic never hurt.”

“Well yeah of course it doesn’t, but when you just press it on my hand without warning, it stings like hell!” the teen whined as your dotted the cotton swab around the wound, cleaning the blood up and the cut.

Your rolled your eyes for the nth time and a comfortable silence fell between the two of you. When you finished cleaning his hand, you reached for the gauze and Jisung broke the silence.

“Did you finish that bio assignment Mr. Allen assigned yet?” he muttered, blushing from the prolonged contact (not that you could see).

Despite fully fitting the rebellious skater kid stereotype, Jisung was actually pretty decent at school. He took some of the same honors classes as you, and mostly got B’s while you strived for A+’s. He was always unfocused in class, unfortunately, and when he got randomly called on by the teacher and he didn’t know the answer, you shook your head disappointedly at your front seat.

“Um… kinda?” you fibbed while you carefully placed the gauze on his hand.

Jisung scoffed. “You haven’t even started it, have you?”

“Well you haven’t either!” you defended.

“Y/N, Miss A+, the greatest and most examplenary student in this school,—” he exaggerated, while you pouted, “—procrastinating? Wow, the world must be ending!”

You hit him playfully on his shoulder, momentarily letting his hand go. He laughed.

“Shut up!” you said, unable to respond to him wittily while you both blushed.

______________________________________________________________________

“You, sir, are whipped as hell,” Jeno squinted at Jisung, pointing a ketchup-covered fry in his direction.

Jisung was shaken out of his thoughts by his best friend and looked away from some point in the distant he was staring at.

“Huh?”

“This proves my point, idiot.” Jeno said, as he took a sip of his coke.

“No really, what?” Jisung asked confusedly.

“We were just stating some facts. I like EXO, Haerim is totally cheating on Yoonsung, and you have the biggest crush in the world on Y/N, you love-struck fool,” Haechan jumped into the conversation savagely, all in a matter-a-fact tone.

“Holy shit, Haerim is cheating on Yoonsung? With who?” Jaemin put his bag down at the table and sat down.

“Whom, Jaemin. Not who. With Eunhyung, actually, but that’s not the point,” Haechan narrowed his eyes at Jaemin, who rolled his eyes and dug into his pizza.

“Shut up Haechan.” Jisung pouted, while discreetly checking you out.

“I mean look at you! Everytime we go to lunch, you have to sit at this spot so you can gawk at Y/N for a solid 30 minutes. You look like a fucking creep,” Jeno exclaimed.

“I-I just can’t help but notice! Y/N’s really pretty and nice and smart and—”

“The reason you purposely slam yourself into an extension when we’re at the skatepark?” Chenle slyly added as he looked up from his book.

The whole group laughed uproariously, drawing many gazes to the notorious Skater Boys’ table. Jisung covered his red face with his hands, his embarrassment keeping him from making his usual savage comebacks. When it came to Y/N, Jisung turned into mochi mush.

“T-That’s because my wheel popped out!”

“Oh? What happened when you couldn’t stick the landing after the flatrail?” Haechan crossed his arms and raised his pierced eyebrow.

“I—”

“You’re one of the best people on the flatrail I know, bro. The one time my skateboard came out from under me you kicked me while I was down, so don’t give us that bullshit.” Renjun accused.

“Well, it’s not like it’s purposeful or anything, but, uh, like—”

“Shut up Jisung. Work up your courage to confess to her, it’s not that hard!” Jaemin offered, while sending a wink to the group of girls passing by their table.

“Says the boy who gets, like, a gazillion confessions a day. Bro, she’s out of my league! Ugh.” Jisung exclaimed and slumped dejectedly to the lunch table.

______________________________________________________________________

“What is it now?” you asked, not even looking up from your desk.

“Uh, my leg?”

You sighed and swiveled around on your comfy office chair, one of the perks of being a nurse assistant.

Jisung was wearing a neon yellow track jacket and some black skinny jeans today, some blue checkered vans adorning his feet. Your eyes zoomed in on one of the rips of the jean, placed on the knee, and it was bloody and bruised.

“Christ,” you muttered.

Again, you took out the cotton swabs and the antiseptic and the gauze while he sat down on one of the medical beds. You put the materials on the bedside table and he lifted his knee up to his attention.

Luckily was the wound was superficial and not that deep, so it would be easy to heal, but it sure as hell would probably hurt for a long time.

“So… how’s the, uh, campaign trail going?” he asked awkwardly after a moment of silence.

“You know about it? Ah, well, it’s going pretty okay, actually. We’ve drummed up alot support from the arts kids, but not as much with the athletes,” you murmured, surprised he knew that you were running for student body president. You wiped the antiseptic over his knee and his leg gave an involuntary jerk, and he gave a sheepish smile.

“Yeah, your posters all over the school.”

“Oh yeah, that,” you blushed, slightly embarrassed you didn’t notice that glaring fact in front of your slight crush. He looked so handsome today, unlike your usual clean-guy type. He looked wild and rebellious and fun all wrapped up into an attractive package.

“Well, I’m really busy nowadays. I never have time to do anything that’s mildly entertaining, like reading a good book or drawing,” you lamented.

“You call that fun?” Jisung snorted. You pouted and slapped him on his shoulder.

“Hey!”

“No no no I don’t mean it like that! It’s pretty admirable that your straightedge and everything. But… is that, like, all you do?” he frowned shifting closer to your scent.

You nervously put ointment over the wound, unnerved by his proximity.

“Well… yeah?”

“That sounds… yeah. Hey, erm, do you wanna go out with our group, one time?” he nervously twiddled his thumb as you momentarily paused.

“Why? Because I’m so boring?” it was said aggressively, but the twinkle in your eye and the slight smile gave away your mischievous intentions.

Because Jisung was Jisung and he became the living embodiment of mush around you, he didn’t notice your signs and inwardly panicked.

“No! Uh, I just thought you’d like to try something different I guess,” Jisung stuttered, flailing for some grounding around his crush.

You stared at him, hard and direct. Jisung didn’t look like he had ulterior motives. He looked back at you in the eyes, a blush still on his cheeks because of his embarrassment.

“Sure. When and where?” you smiled brightly at him, and he sighed in relief.

“I’ll text you.”

______________________________________________________________________

Honestly, you never expected you find yourself in this situation.

It was 10 at night, you weren’t studying, and you were somewhere, in the city, in a near deserted skatepark.

Your parents were going to kill you.

Well, if they found out.

“FUCK YOU, YOU THOT!” you heard a voice shouting.

You look over to see Haechan yelling at Mark, who was laughing and speeding away on his neon green skateboard. Haechan quickly sets down his orange skateboard and runs after Mark, arms and limbs flapping wildly.

On the other hand, Renjun and Chenle were playing tag around the skatepark, completely ignoring the skateboards they had brought with them. Their skateboards seemed to lie pitifully on the ground, unused while Chenle was screaming loudly. Someone was going to trip over that shit.

Jeno and Jaemin, however, were leant up against a streetlight and drinking… capri-suns? You did a double-take and looked closer. Yes, indeed they were drinking silver Capri-Sun juice packets; Jeno holding a grape-flavored one while Jaemin was slurping on a strawberry kiwi one.

Update: Someone did trip over the skateboard. RIP Haechan.

Haechan starts screaming at Renjun and Chenle, who start laughing at his disheveled appearance. Not gonna lie, you jumped a little when Haechan suddenly put them in a headlock, and the Chinese boys were looking like they were about to choke.

You hear a big sigh to your left and you turn to see Jisung facepalming in the fluorescent lamplight. He held a neon blue skateboard with green glow-in-the-dark lines etched onto the deck, still vibrant and colorful despite it’s wear-and-tear.

“Why are they like this?” Jisung sighs again.

Jaemin hears Jisung’s complaint and raises an eyebrow.

“Why do you have to be so emo, Jisung?” Jaemin taunts, the silver of his juice packet flashing as he takes a long sip.

Jeno snorts and in turn spits out some of his grape juice. The rest of the group notice the flying liquid out of Jeno’s face and start laughing at him.

Jisung, after chuckling at Jeno’s mishap, turns back towards you.

“Welp, these idiots happen to be my friends, and they’re fun... I guess.”

You chuckle softly and hug your cardigan closer to you. It was getting chillier as the night progressed, and you were admittedly, totally unprepared. You had come straight here after school clubs instead of going home, so you had nothing but your light brown cardigan to keep you warm.

Jisung sees you slightly shivering, and frowns.

“Hey, are you alright?”

You smile slightly at him.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

Jisung tilted his head and pursed his lips. “No you’re not.”

Before you could do anything, Jisung sets his skateboard down roughly and shakes off his windbreaker. You opened your mouth to protest, but the blond-haired youth just threw it at your head

“Just take it, Y/N,” he huffs.

Because of your blocked line of vision, you don’t see Jisung blush heavily and then pout cutely. You carefully take it off your head and clutch the fabric in your hand, confused why he was doing this.

“Just… just think of this as payback for all the times you treated me at the clinic, o-okay?” Jisung stuttered, raising his now-bare arms and scratching the back of his head. His head was turned slightly away from you, so only some parts of his face you could see.

“I… thank you, Jisung.” You grin widely up at the tall boy and slip on his neon windbreaker. It was, of course, quite large and hit you mid thigh, and the sleeves gave you very extended sweater-paws. However, you could smell his deodorant faintly from the fabric and you wanted to die in a hole.

The neon yellow of the jacket reflecting in the lamplights attracted the attention of the other boys, and they start jeering loudly.

“Damn, Jisung, it’s only the first date and you’re already giving her clothes to wear?” Mark shouts at the two of you, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“FUCK OFF!” Jisung took off running towards Mark while you covered your red face in your hands.

______________________________________________________________________

It was currently… 12 AM right now and you were confused as fuck.

The group were still energetic and high even after 2 hrs at the park, frequently exchanging high fives while passing each other on their skateboards. They all performed dazzling tricks in the artificial light and it had turned into some competition on who could impress you more. Chenle did a cool grabby thing with his board, while Jeno did a stellar flip on his and they all looked to you to see who you were impressed by.

Except, you eyes were captivated by one.

You were staring dumbfounded at the blond-haired boy who seemed like he was flying on his skateboard. JIsung looked like some character in a 90’s teenage movie, rebellious and unrestrained fun written all over his neon clothes and his gleeful face. He seemed much more in his element here, at the skateboard park, unlike school where the walls couldn’t contain his thirst for life; Jisung was so much more free.

However, you couldn’t ignore the glaring fact that Jisung was much better at skateboarding than you thought.

Okay, so you knew he wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t very good either. He comes into your office like… what, 2-3 times a week? By those statistics, Jisung should’ve been tripping over his board and currently in the hospital by now, but no, Jisung was nimbly doing tricks and runs on his skateboard. He slid down the flatrail with ease and landed perfectly before rolling to the bowl, in which he jumped and flipped his skateboard. This, clearly, was not the skating of a untrained and clumsy newbie; this was the skating of someone experienced and who doesn’t get hurt all the time.

You looked at the time on the dim screen of your phone, of which was at 19%. Despite it being the weekend, you wanted to get home quickly.

“Jisung!”

The boy’s head snapped towards you and he quickly halted his lap around the park.

“Y/N are you alright?” Jisung asked concernedly while the other boys in the group paused in their tricks.

“Yeah I’m all good! It’s just it’s getting a bit late now, I’m gonna go home!” you shouted, still clutching his windbreaker around your body.

“Wait, let me accompany you!” Jisung picked up his board and walked towards the bench you were occupying.

“Hey, morons! I’m gonna get Y/N back home, okay?” Jisung turned back to the rest of the boys.

“OOOoooOOOooOOhhHHHh sPicY!” Haechan laughed at Jisung.

“Yeah yeah we’ll follow you up as soon… as soon as we get Chenle out of this bush,” Jaemin stared, desperately trying to contain his laughter at Renjun and Jeno trying and failing to get the poor Chinese student out of the bush after his board had slipped out from under him.

“BYE THOT!” Jisung put the skateboard under his arm.

“BYE, ROMEO!”

The pair of you walked in a semi-awkward silence back to your house, the usual noises of a suburban neighborhood surrounding you.

“Uh… you got through the primaries for pres position?” Jisung asked, breaking the silence.

“Yup… after completely crushing those underclassman,” you grinned up at him, the streetlights casting shadows upon his face.

“Eyyyy nice.”

You two easily lapsed into light-hearted conversation, discussing the teachers that you hated and the gossip around the school.

There was a pause in conversation, and you took that opportunity to ask Jisung something that had been on your mind all night.

“Hey, uh, if you don’t mind me asking… how are you so good at skateboarding?”

A momentary flash of panic struck across his face, which quickly settled itself into to feigned confusion.

“Huh?”

“Like… erm, you know how you always go to my office a lot for your injuries? I just thought…” you floundered, trying to get information without somehow insulting the skater boy.

“Oh, I’m usually much worse than today,” he waved it off.

“I guess today was my lucky day, probably. I think I just perform, uh, much better in front of company?” Jisung eyes roved, searching everywhere but you.

“Ah.” It fell silent before you broke it.

“Jisung… I had a really fun time tonight. And I wanted to thank you for that,” you said, lucky that your blushing cheeks were covered by the darkness of nights.

“No problemo Y/N! I think everyone had a bit more fun with you here… you can always go out with us, if you want, you know… yeah.”

“Sure, I’ll hit you up,” you fingered with the buttons of your cardigan in nervous because of Jisung’s close proximity to you.

Pretty soon the two of you stopped near your house and you looked at each other awkwardly.

“Yeah… again, thank you for taking me out,” you stuttered, wondering whether you should hug him or not.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good.”

Fuck it. Let’s carpe diem this shit.

You extended your arms to the boy and a brief look of shock and panic crossed his face before he, too, extended his arms to your waist and pulled you closer. He had to bend down a little to your height, and you too held each other for a few seconds. In this brief few seconds or so, you buried your face into the crook of his neck, while he settled his head on your shoulder. Jisung was warm and comfy, and while you were initially tense, you relaxed in his hold.

You released each other and you ran to your doorstep.

“Bye Jisung! I’ll see you Monday!”

“Yeah, uh, bye!”

You entered your house quietly, before tip-toeing to your room. As soon as you sat down on your chair, you realized you had forgotten to give back Jisung’s jacket.

Shit.

______________________________________________________________________

Jisung stared at your door for a few seconds, trying to figure out whether the last few minutes was a dream or not. His body still felt warm from the time you had touched him. He must of looked like a straight idiot or a stalker, staying and staring in one position for an extended amount of time.

However, he was in a daze of confusion and happiness. Holy shit, had he just hugged his crush of the past 2 years? And… she initiated it? Holy fucking shit. Alsfskfhaslfdjsjfs.

Jisung turned to walk back to his crew and it was only a few steps until he suddenly fist pumped and jumped in the air in joy. He was getting closer.

______________________________________________________________________

“Thank you!” you had thanked the bus driver, a old sweet lady, and she smiled a red-cheeked smile at you in return. You stepped off the bus and made your way to your classroom, kind of nervous of what you were about to do. You were going to give back Jisung’s jacket.

Many people greeted you in the hallway with hello’s or good morning’s because of your popularity as soon-to-be class president, and you waved back or acknowledged them. You entered your classroom to set down your bookbag, the early morning light nearly blinding you from the windows.

“Hey Y/N!” your classmate Soora greeted you from her perch atop her desk, in the midst of talking to her friends.

“Hi Soora! How are you?” you smiled at her as you pulled the neon windbreaker from your bag.

“I’m fine! You?”

“All good!” you sent her a thumbs up.

“Say, whaddya got there?” she jumped off her desk and leaned closer to the neon object hanging of your arm.

“Oh, yeah, um, it’s someone’s jacket. I need to give it back to him,” you waved off, knowing Soora was nosy as hell.

“Hold the phone; HIM? As in the singular pronoun of the male gender? XY chromosomes? H-I-M?” she gasped loudly and as a result, several people turned their heads towards the disturbance.

“Shhhhh! Soora!” you softly scolded, looking suspiciously around and smiling at everybody so they could get their attention off of you.

“Well who is it?” Soora crossed her arms across her chest, a small pout on her tinted lips.

“No one you know,” you replied, walking out of the classroom. Unfortunately, the gossipy brunette followed you out, cutting herself out of her group’s conversation.

You took a quick pace, sneakers tapping across the floor loudly, in hope you could lose her or she would give up. No good; Soora just upped her pace to keep in line with you.

“Y/N! Tell me something!” she whined to you.

You rolled your eyes.

“You’ll find out soon anyway,” you replied as you turned a corner to Class 5275; Jisung’s Lit classroom.

The door was open, thankfully, and you quietly went in, however, people saw you as soon as you entered.

A chorus of hey’s and hello’s were given to you and you acknowledged them. You looked around the classroom to see a mop of blonde hair; aha! You could see Jisung by the window talking to a few friends, his face contorted in a laugh as Jeno cracked a joke. The sun was shining on his face and reflecting off his hair, so he looked hella handsome today.

“Jisung!” you called out. Jisung’s head snapped to you, as did many other’s.

“Y/N?” Jisung said confusedly as he got out of his seat.

“Hey Jeno! Hi Chenle!” you waved to the group of boys near him.

“Hey Y/N!” they called out and snickered as Jisung neared you. Jisung turned to glare at them.

“Uh, hi?” he greeted you as he stood in front of you.

“Jisung! I’m so sorry I totally forgot it on Saturday; here’s your jacket!” you smile as you hand him the neon windbreaker on your hand.

His eyes widened in recognition as he took it out of your hands.

“Ah! So you’re the reason I was freezing all weekend!” he smirked at you.

“Shut up! You offered!”

“And you forgot.” You slapped his bicep in retaliation, a mock-hurt expression on your face and you both laughed.

“Well anyway, thanks. I’ll see you later, I guess?” Jisung looked down at you.

“Yeah, yeah. Bye!” you patted his forearm and turned towards the doorway.

“Oh wait; don’t forget to vote for me!” you looked back at him.

“I will!” he waved back at you.

As you stepped through the doorway, you realized how semi-quiet the classroom had gotten. Most conversations had died down and all of Class 5275’s attention were on you and Jisung, eyes wide at the unexpected interaction.

Soora was waiting for you at the doorway, her mouth open in shock.

“Park Jisung? You were giving a jacket back to Park Jisung, the low-key emo skater kid who happens to be hella hot????” Soora loudly said.

“Uh, yeah? I forgot to give it back to him,” you leaned away from the eager girl.

“Wait wait wait, hold up, I’m so shook right now. First, how did you get the jacket? Where did you get the jacket? Second, how do you know Park Jisung? And his group of friends? Do you know how many people are crushing on him—”

“Calm down Soora! I was hanging out with them and I was cold so Jisung gave me his jacket, that’s all-”

“PARK JISUNG GAVE YOU HIS JACKET?!” Soora burst out in the middle of the hallway. Suprised faces turned to you, growing even more shocked when recognizing who you were. Loud whispers and conversations started up as you facepalmed at the girl’s idioticness.

______________________________________________________________________

For the next few weeks, you were bombarded in questions about your friendship with Jisung. It was a bit unexpected, you supposed; the skater kid is friends with a preppy smartass. However, the gossip surrounding you and him made you more popular, so it was beneficial to your campaign at least.

You, Jisung, and the rest of the kids hung out more as time progressed. You got together during the weekends at the skatepark, you sat next to each other in class, and shared inside jokes and memes on the groupchat you were added into. You got closer to all of them, but you were just naturally more attached to Jisung.

As the two of you hung out more, Jisung and you had become very close. He was now not some annoying skater kid who went your office nearly every other day to get his injuries treated; Jisung was a friend who you could confide in one moment, and roast in another. He was amazing and scarily, you found him more and more attractive.

Park Jisung was giving you feelings you’d never experienced before. You got butterflies in your stomach when you spoke to him, you sometimes stuttered when you were close to him, and your face was always red when you hugged him. He was funny, he was charming, and really, really fun. You couldn’t believe you never noticed him before when you were in his chem class a few years ago.

Jisung still visited your office with suspiciously less injuries since you got closer. You would chat with him while helping other patients. You asked him if he was skipping class, but he always denied it and said it was his free period so “he might as well hang out with someone he could tolerate”.

Because of your close friendship, many people asked both you if you were dating, which made it worse. You both always denied it, unaware of the longing gazes you two would send each other.

It all came to a point a few days later, when the presidential elections were announced. You had won (by a landslide it was rumoured) the position of student council president for the next school year and were in the midst of a flurry of congratulations when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N?” Jisung’s voice rang out.

You turned towards him and an immediate smile crept up your face.

“Jisung! It’s nice to see you!” you greeted, turning your attention away from your other classmates.

“Congratulations on your election!” he held his arms out, and you stepped into them so you could hug each other.

“Thank you!”

Jisung suddenly grew a bit nervous, and he scratched the back of his head.

“Uh, could you come with me for a moment? In private?” he asked.

Needless to say, you were a bit confused.

“Sure!” you waved goodbye to your friends and walked with him.

His long-legged gait led you both to the courtyard. It was sunny today, and as a result, Jisung just wore some skinny jeans and a Supreme t-shirt while you were in a floral sundress.

During the walk there, you had an inward debate with yourself. These feelings had been going on for quite sometime, and since it was nearing the end of the school year, you might as well let it out. You decided, uncharacteristically impulsively, that you were going to to confess to Jisung.

He took you under a tree and paused there.

“I have something to say,” he intoned seriously.

You took a deep breath.

“I do to.”

“Huh?” Jisung frowned.

You could do this. It was the perfect time to do it, anyway.

“Park Jisung… I like you. Like, as in more than a friend kind of like,” you let out, looking down.

It was silent for a few seconds, the only sound was the leaves rustling in the breeze.

“Well shit. Holy shit.” he breathed out in amazement.

“What?” you asked, your heart pumping from the nervousness of your confession.

“I… I like you alot too. In fact, I was going to confess to you before you said it. Wow, this is great, like, holy fuck I can’t believe this is happening.” he ran his hands through his hair.

“Really?” You jumped up and circled your arms around his neck and giggled. He hugged you back tightly.

“If we’re on the subject of confessions, I have something else to confess.” Jisung whispered in your ear.

You leaned back from him for a moment, high off the joy that your crush liked you back.

“Y/N, I have liked you since our chem class 2 years ago”— your eyes widened—” and… um…” he mumbled the last part.

“Sorry, what?”

“I may have... went to the nurse office alot so I could see you.”

Your brows came together, until your mind worked out what he was implying.

“Wait a fucking minute! Did you deliberately get injured so you could… so you could…” you sputtered, bewildered from this new information.

“Yeah?”

“Your confession is rejected, you little shit! Do you know how much supplies you took up? Also, did you keep in mind what you could’ve to your body?!” you nagged and slapped his chest and he laughed.

You two settled into comfortable silence, luxuriating in each other’s presence.

You reached up and pecked his cheek.

“Just kidding, I like you a lot, you idiot,” you smiled up at him.

Your blissful moments were interrupted by loud cheering from the bushes. You both turned to see the squad cheering, Chenle fake-sobbing into Renjun’s arm dramatically as Jeno and Jaemin spun each other around, giggling.

“My son… my son has grown up from a skateboarding little shit into a skateboarding little shit who has a girlfriend!” Haechan wiped a fake tear as he stood in front of you.

“EVERYONE! PARK JISUNG AND Y/N ARE DATING NOW!” Mark shouted to the rest of the school.

“MARK!” Jisung shouted.

Many people shouted their congratlations and cheered, while you buried your face into Jisung’s chest.

In the midst of Jisung threatening to break Mark’s board in half, he hugged you tighter.

#nct imagine #nct #nct jisung #jisung imagine #nct dream #nct dream imagine #skater boy jisung #nct 2018 #nct fluff #nct mark #chenle #haechan #jeno #jaemin #renjun #sk8er boi #nct comedy #kpop imagine #kpop fluff #kpop

[punkcherries]

get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

#shut up sombre #drama / #heres to hoping this is the last thing i get abt this bc this is jus really dumb and im tryna move on over here #ask to tag / #submission

[picturesinlove]

London Film Festival 2017 or: the real world sucks just watch films for 2 weeks

I feel like I’ve spent my entire student loan seeing things at the London Film Festival, which ran over the last few weeks.

Was worth it.

#1: MANIFESTO, directed by Julian Rosefeldt, 90 mins

- Originally a critically acclaimed multi-screen video installation in which Cate Blanchett plays 13 different characters, ranging from a school teacher to a homeless man, performing artist’s manifestos in 13 different scenarios. Part of the financing deal was Rosefeldt had to cut a 90 minute, linear version of the piece for a cinematic setting. Provides some super interesting results.

- Clearly a translation, but an interesting one. Making the viewer watch it beginning to end highlights the flaws in that translation from installation to cinematic setting (can get too much to digest sometimes), but when it works, it *really* works. 

- More than anything, made me think about the cinema as a space- question the realms of it and what we’re putting on a big screen. 

- CATE FUCKING BLANCHETT!!!! i am convinced no one could have pulled this off like she did. She’s running on adrenaline and pure bravery. She makes interesting choices at every twist and turn. A masterclass.

- You HAVE to be fully, super awake and willing to give this your full attention from the start. It’s slow and beautiful and wonderful... but it is slow. 

- Genre hops from scenario to scenario perfectly... from Clio Banard-esque social realism to Rachel Maclean-like cartoonish sci-fi. 

- Some things Julian Rosefeldt and Cate Blanchett said in the talk afterwards that seemed interesting (lots of paraphrasing): - The white cube is a prison... talking to people who already agree with you... Cinema has a bigger audience with more coincidental audience members-  Cate Blanchett fans from the new Thor film mayyyy see this... - Ask ‘would anyone be interested in seeing this?’, NOT ‘will anyone like it?’ - ‘If I could say what everything means, I should stop doing art.’ - ‘Your brain attends to things differently when watched linearly’ - ‘Art’s role isn’t educative- it’s provocative.’

4/5.

Opens November 24th.

#2: BATTLE OF THE SEXES, directed by Jonathan Dayton & Valarie Faris, 121 mins

- True story of 1973 tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs.

- Rousing good fun. A real crowd pleaser. I saw the Gala screening at the Odeon in Leicester Square... the perfect way to watch- with lots of people, all feeling the Hollywood-ised, over-dramatised, over-sentimental beats together... and super enjoying it. 

- It’s less subtle than MOTHER! (2017) about what it’s saying, but has a shining, naive optimism to it that you just kind of have to smile at.

- Emma Stone and Steve Carrell as King and Riggs hold all the moving pieces together. They add weight to potentially weightless, throw-away moments.

- All supporting performances great too- Sarah Silverman the MVP. Andrea Riseborough continues to be a chameleon, effortlessly embodying everything about who she’s playing, and it doesn’t even look like she’s trying. And hey! it’s super nice to Martha MacIsaac back on screen with Emma Stone! Their first time together on screen since Superbad (2007).

- The romance between Billie Jean King and Riseborough’s character Marilyn Barnett is easily the most engaging aspect of the film. The only time it leaves Hollywood feel-good territory. Something so magical watching them drive the sun-kissed California roads together listening to ‘Rocket Man’.

3.5/5.

Opens November 24th.

#3: OUR TIME WILL COME, directed by Ann Hui, 130 mins

- 1940s Japanese occupied Hong Kong. Fang Lan, a young primary school teacher, gets involved in the resistance movement and rises to become a legendary figure in the fight for freedom.

- STAKES. Really, really gets how to set up stakes for the characters. It’s a film about all the small things, the little fights in a war that will eventually add up to victory. Not assassinating all the leaders of the opposing army, just stealing a map that’s been put in a bin in an enemy outpost, hoping perhaps it helps. It’s a section of a larger painting. EVERYTHING feels dangerous. Every character is in danger at every moment, and is always punished for making the smallest mistake. Gives the sense that the oppressive State is ALWAYS watching. It demands you never become de-sensitised to the violence which leads to that immediate sense of danger.

- Had a restrained cheapness to it which I actually quite liked. Every now and then you get some goofy looking VFXs and some badly dubbed ADR, but the restraint keeps everything feeling grounded and human.

- Runs at it’s own pace/abides by it’s own structure, which may be too slow/anti-climactic for some, but I liked it for the most part. Playing by it’s own rules and truly being what it wanted to be... which sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t.

- The moments it steps out of the main story and does a docu-drama thing... just why? Came across so half-baked. Similar to the 3 time scales in Nolan’s Dunkirk (2017), there was never really a moment of release, an ‘oh! that’s a really interesting decision to do that!’ moment. Just left me kind of baffled to why?

- Genuine moments of magic that I wouldn’t dream of spoiling. Seriously some of the most creative, inspired scenes I’ve ever seen.

- Some guy (wearing a BFI lanyard??) sitting a few seats away kept repeating phrases from the film outloud in a strange voice? Why would you do this??

3.5/5.

UK release date unknown, probably some time in 2018.

#4: LAST FLAG FLYING, directed by Richard Linklater, 124 mins

- 2003. A Vietnam veteran recruits his two oldest buddies, who he served with, to accompany him on a journey no one should ever have to take.

- Richard Linklater continues to prove he can effortless hop between genres like no one else, but the film is still packed full with ideas he’s played with before.

- Performances are uniformly and predictably excellent. Bryan Cranston’s Sal is like the crazy friend of your parents who’d show up every few years in a beaten up old car and give you a pack of smokes for your birthday. Laurence Fishburne says ‘praise Jesus’ every 2 minutes and it’s amazing. Steve Carrell has a quiet dignity to him that’s really special. 

- Linklater knows exactly what he’s doing with his camera (water is wet), but it kills me to say it felt visually bland like his films never have. 

- Features the best ‘characters uncontrollably laughing’ scene since The Intouchables (2011).

4/5.

Opens 3rd November.

#5: THOROUGHBREDS, directed by Cory Finley, 90 minutes

- Two rich-kids from small town Connecticut hatch a plan together.

- Ugh, just.... what’s the point? It’s not boring, but every frame just had me thinking ‘why is this happening?’ So disappointingly transparent. I could see the director sitting planning the movements and cuts. Painfully ‘first-feature’ like. Should have been a rich, twisted delight, but was just so vapid and empty. 

- Olivia Cooke is one of my favourite rising actresses. Has one of my favourite performances ever as Rachel in Me and Earl and The Dying Girl (2015), and dammit I cry every time I watch her in it. In this... she does a good job with what she’s given. Anya Taylor-Joy is fun too.

- Badly costumed?? So rarely actively think that.

- Music was fun but as empty and ultimately weightless as the rest of the film. Felt like an afterthought to spice things up.

- Anton Yelchin’s character was the only person in the whole film I cared about. Brings a greyness to such a black and white film. What a fucking loss to the world man.

2/5.

Opens 9th March, 2018. 

#6: CALL ME BY YOUR NAME, directed by Luca Guadagnino, 130 minutes

- Somewhere in Northern Italy, Summer 1983, Elio’s life changes.

- Sun-drenched Europe, the smell of warmth and twirling cigarette smoke, deep blue sky- pure, breakfast with a glass of apricot juice and an espresso, the sound of bike spokes spinning lazily. 

I wish I could live with these people.

‘Later.’

4.5/5.

Opens 27th October.

#7: THE SHAPE OF WATER, directed by Guillermo del Toro, 119 minutes

- 1962, Cold War America. A mute cleaner at a government research facility, Elisa, strikes up an unlikely relationship.

- Del Toro just *knows* what he’s doing. It’s all so effortlessly confident. So rich and fulfilled. Such commitment to everything. 

- The first half is fantastical and brilliant. The second.... loses something. Still has moments of genius, but too much plot. Fizzles out in a disappointing way.

- Reminded me in a lot of ways of Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver (2017). Both are clearly projects the directors have wanted to make for a while, both have amazing first acts then don’t quite know what do with themselves. However, Shape has pure heart that carries it through any rough patches. It feels like it’s actually about something, not just an exercise in style for the director.

3.8/5.

Opens 16th February, 2018.

#8: LUCKY, directed by John Carroll Lynch, 88 minutes

- The swan song of Harry Dean Stanton. A 90-year old atheist’s life as he wanders his desert town, drinking, smoking and speaking to old friends.

- Pure magic all the way through. Plays at exactly the speed and tone it wants to play at.

- One of the most engaging ‘but nothing happens!!’ films I’ve ever seen.

- Everyone hits perfectly. David Lynch appears playing a character that has a pet tortoise called President Roosevelt for fuck sake.

- Bleak, but finds immense joy in that bleakness. Whenever I feel like I’m about to face the void- I will remember the smile of Harry Dean Stanton.

- 3.5/5.

Opens January 2018.

#9: BAD GENIUS, directed by Nattawut Poonpiriya, 130 minutes

- Thai Heist-Thriller about students cheating their exams.

- WHAT A FUCKING RIDE!! More stakes in this than most ‘end of the world’ superhero movies.

- The filmmaking is so good it makes you forget plausibility is sometimes being pushed. Amazing set-pieces. Expertly choreographed.

- Whimsical, but painful and genuinely emotional when it needs to be. 

- Every character is so rich and textured in their own way. So fully realised.

- Why do the last 2 minutes of this film exist??

- 2 years time, there will almost certainly be an American remake of this... and it’ll suck so hard. 

- SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM.

4/5.

Opens some time in 2018.

#10: THE FLORIDA PROJECT, directed by Sean Baker, 115 minutes

- In the shadow of Disney World, 6 year-old Moonee and her friends spend the summer playing around the Motels they live in.

- Pastel bright colours. Every person has survived a storm. Explore the wasteland of failed corporate America. Become a child again.

- Baker continues to masterfully blend fiction with reality, wrapping one in the other.

- Doesn’t ask you to like the characters. Doesn’t need to. One of the very best films of the year.

4.5/5.

Opens 10th November.

#11: INGRID GOES WEST, directed by Matt Spicer, 98 minutes

- Ingrid moves to California to become Instagram famous.

- An enjoyable, fun Saturday night film. 

- Elisabeth Olsen as ‘photographer’ Taylor Sloane is note perfect. Could so easily have slept-walked through it, but didn’t. Her relationship with brother Nicky is so, so good. Idea of this Instagram famous rich girl with her crazy, pill-junkie, roid-monkey brother who she knows is terrible but loves him and is sort of as vapid as he is- just knows how to hide it better. And man, he is SO evil. Haven’t hated a character as much as I hated him in a while.

- Plaza holds it together. Her and the film trust you to realise how mentally ill she is without reminding us too much.

- 1st half is superbly played... loses it somewhere in the middle of the 2nd act but picks up again at the end.

- Music was terrible?! Suggested some weird criss-cross in tone of the film.

- I GET IT! THE INTERNET IS BAD!

3.5/5.

Opens 17th November.

#12: You Were Never Really Here, directed by Lynne Ramsey, 85 minutes

- Gulf War veteran Joe is known for the brutality he inflicts on captors of the children he’s rescuing.

- Deeply troubled. Beautiful. Precise. Scatter-brained. Focused. A violin strung too tightly, then played by a madman. How can something so stripped down and raw feel so symphonic and wholesome? I feel like I’ve been repeatedly smashed in the head with a hammer... but enjoyed it.

- Jaoquin Phoenix. Lynne Ramsey. Johnny Greenwood.

- There are things in this that will play on loop in my head for the rest of my life.

4.5/5.

Opens in early 2018.

#13: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, directed by Martin McDonagh, 115 minutes

- A mother takes desperate steps to pressure local law enforcement to find her daughter’s killer.

- Perfectly woven and layered characters. I fucking hate the phrase ‘the character arc’, but if I were teaching a class in it- I’d show this film. 

- A film about relationships, and every relationship between every character or creature or inanimate object is perfect.

- McDonagh loves theatrical sensibilities. Nobody does grand, rich set-pieces quite like him... makes highly stylised situations feel real in the world he sets up.

- I could have watched hours more of these characters interacting.

4/5.

Opens 12th January 2018.

STRAY THOUGHTS:

- Felt spoilt in the audiences I had the pleasure of watching these films with. Always respectful.

- Every time Clare Stewart (head of festival) came on stage to present a film, I just couldn’t help but smile. Bumped into her after a screening and told her my student loan situation. I don’t think she knew what to say.

- DON’T WATCH THE TRAILERS OF ANY OF THESE FILMS. THEY SPOIL SO MANY OF THEM.

- I am consistently shocked by how enamoured I am with celebrities. Some weird conditioning in my brain. Am glad I didn’t queue up to get a picture with anyone. Saying that, this screenshot from a random interview I saw online where I’m juuuust to the left of Emma Stone will live on my wall forever.

ughhhhhh i’m a loser ughhhhh

[seosamhmooney]

My Top 10 Favorite Musical Movies

I love top 10 lists for no legitimate reason, and I really don’t understand why they’re a thing other than the fact that they’re somewhat pleasing in some inexplicable way. So here’s one of my “Top 10s” lists. Enjoy

10. Into the Woods

Honestly, this one just makes this list because I enjoy shitting on it. Although it was decently cast, I’m still not sure what Johnny Depp was doing as the wolf (or even why the wolf was present? Does he actually serve a purpose to the ultimate story? Didn’t think so). Anna Kendrick is always charming, and frankly, her “On the Steps of the Palace” song was just fabulous. And sure, intertwining fairytales sounds like a cool or innovative idea, but seriously, it’s been done so many times (re: abc’s Once Upon a Time, Cornelia Funke’s Reckless books, etcetera)--and perhaps Sondheim did do it before it became a “thing”--but the movie comes across as tacky, boring, and generally pointless. Next.

9. Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Also known as, What Happens When Tim Burton Directs a Musical. It’s almost so gaudy it works, but not quite. Helena Bonham Carter does some good work in this one, but certainly not her best. It’s almost a shame to see someone who has done such beautiful movies as A Room with a View and The Wings of the Dove fall into this constant cycle of playing these borderline goofy characters (see Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Dark Shadows, etc.--none of which I did not enjoy, by the way; I absolutely loved all three of these mentioned films, but HBC plays such one-dimensional characters it’s f r u s t r a t i n g. Johnny Depp was actually nominated for a Golden Globe for this movie, which I don’t think was necessarily called for, but did he win? Nope. Wasn’t going to. When the kid and the mostly mute prison girl are the best parts of the cast, something isn’t working right. Plus, the movie was just so gray. I get it, London is no pretty city, but--oh, wait, yes it is. London’s beautiful, shut the fuck up.

8. La La Land

Oh, La La Land. So right, but so, so damn wrong! I adore this movie, although it took me three times to watch the full movie to get to this point of appreciation. When I first left the cinema, I was livid. I had gone with my aunt and uncle for my birthday, and we all left just frustrated. Damien Chazelle had given us such a visually stunning and cinematically innovative film, but he also gave us a shit excuse for a love story. Honestly, Mr. Chazelle, please don’t write another script. Leave that to actual writers. You stick with cinematic brilliance, hun. Thanks, x. Justin Horwitz, however, ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT. The music is astounding. Simply astounding. I had the privilege of seeing La La Land at the Hollywood Bowl with a live orchestra, and damn, it was good. It was so good. Ryan Gosling is nothing special (unfortunately!), and as much of a bitch as Emma Stone’s Mia is, she absolutely deserved that Oscar. Now about the singing: frankly, I didn’t mind it. I have friends who hated it (because they’re trained singers so they have a bit of a superiority complex about these kinds of things), but as someone who cannot particularly sing well myself, I enjoyed seeing two more realistic characters thrown into a musical world and pull it off more than adequately well. 

7. The Phantom of the Opera

I want to rank this higher. I really, really, really do. But for obvious reason, I cannot. The singing is mediocre, and the acting is even worse. I don’t know who cast Gerard Butler, but yikes. A lot of the editing is rather shoddy, and as much as I do love Minnie Driver as Carlotta, they should have chosen an actual opera singer instead of choosing a decently known Hollywood name. Also, the deformity is literal horse shit. Just horse shit. But now the good things: 1. Patrick Wilson; yes! I absolutely love his Raoul. He’s tragic and a little girly and a bit of a pussy but so in love that he steps up when he needs to. And his voice is arguably the best in comparison with his coworkers’. 2. The cinematography and set design are stunning, absolutely stunning. I get the chills every time the chandelier is raised during the “Overture”, and although the Phantom’s lair isn’t exactly a house on a lake, I thought it was very reminiscent of the stage production, which I appreciated greatly. 3. The costumes! Jesus! Although Christine’s “Think of Me” dress does not go with the time period of the opera she’s supposed to be performing and the Phantom’s last few costumes are waaaaay too hot, I thought the costume department did a fabulous job creating dazzling costumes that just worked with the whole “pretty” feel of the film. 4. They nail the story. I remember watching Phantom as a child and sobbing every time I finished it. The Phantom doesn’t deserve Christine, but he deserves to know what love is just like any other man, and in telling this, the story succeeds. 

6. Grease

I’m not one for teen movies, I’m just not. Clueless is nice, and Heathers has a special place in my heart, but I’ve never been into the whole high school drama film thing. Still, I must admit that I loved Grease. I refused to watch it for the longest time because I had a friend who literally based his entire look on Danny Zuko, and it was so obnoxious I refused to watch the film. Plus John Travolta has always sort of creeped me out. But I gave in, and I was so surprised. Olivia Newton-John is just darling as Sandra Dee, John Travolta isn’t unbearable as Danny Zuko, and Frenchy is such a charming character, but the one person I think gets so overlooked but could be such a show-stealer is Rizzo. Stockard Channing set the bar high for this character, as she does a fantastic job conveying the too-cool-for-school but has-a-heart-of-gold-kinda Rizzo. My favorite player on the Chicago Cubs is Anthony Rizzo because of this movie (Can you tell I’m not a huge sports fan?).

5. Chicago

Many people call this the best musical movie ever made, and really, it’s very, very well done. I mean, it is. A movie doesn’t get six Academy Awards just because. The dancing is actual fire, Richard Gere is one dazzling bastard, and Catherine Zeta-Jones absolutely steals the show as Velma Kelly. Sorry, Renée Zellweger. Zellweger's Roxie is charming, sure, but she comes off as so weak a character and a person that it’s difficult to even enjoy most of her scenes. The set designs are nothing spectacular, but what makes everything come together is the musical numbers (somewhat ironic, because almost every musical number physically departs from the story’s setting). “All That Jazz” is a killer opening, Queen Latifah’s “When You’re Good to Mama” is too much fun, “Cell Block Tango” practically changed the game for musical movie choreography, and where do I even begin with “Roxie”? Spoiler: it was Zellweger’s most convincing scene, but that’s almost completely due to the choreography and set design. Chicago will certainly be studied in film schools in years to come. As much as there is on the surface of the film, there is so much more than meets the eye, and for all these reasons, Chicago is a fabulous, fabulous film.

4. Les Misérables

I actually considered ranking this between Phantom and Chicago but ultimately decided to move it up. Victor Hugo’s novel is a challenge for a number of reasons, but chief among them being the massive span of time his novel covers. So a musical version obviously has to fit this all within three hours, and say what you will, I do believe Les Mis does a good job. The story is obviously cut down tremendously, but it really does not lose much (if any) of the message it has to offer. Now, the film is not perfect. For instance, I absolutely hated Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe. I really did. A lot of people hated Amanda Seyfried, but I really loved her portrayal of Cosette (but maybe just the acting part, her singing is a bit shaky). Samantha Barks and Eddie Redmayne are class-acts, and HBC does a fine job as Mme. Thenardier. I almost have nothing to say about Anne Hathaway. Her performance speaks for itself. I sob every time Fantine dies. She is so, so, so, so good. And three cheers for Colm Wilkinson. He’s just a great guy and a great performer. The film’s direction is often debated, whether it is good or bad, but I really thought it was quite good and quite different from what others might have done. Tom Hooper took advantage of the screen in ways the stage cannot be taken advantage of, offering the audience a chance to look closely at the faces of the actors, to really appreciate the emotional tolls the characters endure.

3. Cabaret

Liza Minelli embodies Sally Bowles. I mean, never have I ever believed so strongly that an actor was born for a role, but Minelli was born for Sally, and as the soul of the show, she breathes life into the film and somehow manages to carry the story on her shoulders. Joel Grey is a fantastic Emcee, and the supporting characters are great as well. Although I don’t care for several of the subplots, I thought the primary storytelling was borderline flawless (except for the ghastly ending; Lord help me, I have so many qualms with the ending; the level of vague is off the charts and unnecessarily so). But the singing is splendid and the dancing is spectacular. The way the Kit Kat Club fits into the story almost as a character itself is subtle and brilliant, and just about every single set is exactly how I imagine it should be. Again, Liza Minelli was born for this, and she rightly won the Oscar for Best Actress. Go you, Liza. Lots of love, x. 

2. Moulin Rouge!

Usually, I would consider Moulin Rouge! my favorite movie of all time, but I’ll explain in the next entry why this is not the case for this list. Like I said, this is my favorite film of all time, and for a plethora of reasons. 1. It is unique and innovative; Moulin Rouge! made the 21st-century musical possible, and everything from Chicago to La La Land owes much to Baz Luhrmann. 2. Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman’s chemistry is everything. They work well together, they sound good together, and they carry Luhrmann’s admittingly wild storytelling techniques with grace and fun. 3. The sets and general production design. This entire movie was filmed in a single room (granted, a very, very large room), but Luhrmann creates a world so vivid and so alive that it hardly feels claustrophobic. 4. The music is different but familiar and well-orchestrated. Luhrmann did something most people wouldn’t even think twice about doing because it’s “tacky” or “unoriginal”, but he instead takes familiar and beloved songs, sets them all to a beautiful story about love and loss, and creates a new musical so vibrant, it changed the face of the musical genre. 

1. The Sound of Music

The Sound of Music. Arguably the greatest musical of all time, The Sound of Music is a timeless story of faith, love, war, family, and hope. The only musical on this list based on the actual events of Maria Kutschera and her life as the governess and step-mother of the von Trapp children, The Sound of Music embodies everything a musical (and a good story!) should be. Life is no fairytale--it is full of hard times and beautiful times and times when it seems the whole world will collapse upon itself. Life is no fairytale, and as beautiful as this film is, it relates to its audience real life morals and real life messages that should be taken to heart by anyone in search of a happy life. Julie Andrews is the only person to embody a character more than Liza Minelli embodies Sally Bowles, and her Maria is a sweet, powerful, kind woman, who, though unsure of the direction her life will go, stands for what she believes in and positively changes the lives of so many along the way. Christopher Plummer is the perfect Captain von Trapp, and the children are perfectly cast as well. Actually, fuck it, the whole cast is perfect. Governess Elsa Schräder, Max Detweiler, and the Mother Abbess are flawless secondary characters, who come and go throughout the film flawlessly. I would also like to note how it stayed in cinemas for FOUR YEARS after its release. Now that’s a bloody good film. The sets and cinematography are fabulous, the script is so well done it’s unreal, and the songs--the songs!!!--are as good as they are iconic (and damn, are they iconic).

So here is my first (second, actually) post on Tumblr. Cheers. x

#musicals #film #musical movie #top ten list #the sound of music #moulin rouge #cabaret #les miserables #chicago #grease #the phantom of the opera #la la land #sweeney todd #into the woods

[asntmc5recap]

EPISODE 6: The Girl Who Has a Dirty Little Secret

Two things that ruin America’s Next Top Model: social media frenzy and too much focus given on drama.

THE FAREWELL

After the elimination, Shikin questioned the judges’ decision to give Maureen the FCO, making her the new face of Maybelline, saying Valerie’s photo was more expensive. I guess because saying her photo was better would be a little too vain?

I get why Shikin was frustrated. Last week, she got the highest challenge score, and her photoshoot was fucking flawless (she didn’t get BOTH the challenge prize or the best photo reward). But hey, like I said, in the end, Maybelline is the one who has a say in who would be picked as the winner, considering that she’ll be featured in their campaign, and they picked the prettiest one. So don’t be afraid to say it Shikin. “Don’t cha think mah pic is da best?? Dat Maureen bitch is just lucky she’s so pwetty and shaaaiitteee...”

Shikin’s disgruntlement continued after that when she saw Alicia wrote that she’s rooting for Maureen in her farewell note. (So nobody’s shipping Alicia and Maureen?) I really hope this won’t get pushed as another feud/catfight because dang I’m tired of it.

THE CHALLENGE

Another social media challenge, JESUS. I enjoy last week’s challenge. It was fun. And I guess this too, didn’t stray too far from modelling, BUT HOLY SHIT if I ever hear social media again, Imma lose my shit, y’all. I mean, whatever happened to fun challenges like, um, doing yoga on a surf board? Or KPop dance?

Fiona Fussi, Acuvue (contact lense) ambassador gave them the brief for this week’s challenge - Acuvue Uniquely Me social media challenge.

Acuvue released a line of products that cater to every type of girl - and by every, they mean only five - and using Polaroid camera, the girls need to style themselves and submit three of their best photos that embody the type of woman they were assigned to. The five different personality style are: cosmopolitan woman (Maureen and Tu), the girl next door (Cindy and Veronika), the artist (Shikin and Dorothy), the career women (Clara and Valerie) and the socialite (Nametha).

Using the Polaroid camera proved to be a challenge for some of the girls, especially those who have never used it before. There was a bit of a tension going on since they were only given ten shots to get the best photos. Shikin and the twins struggle a little bit with their groupmate taking shaite photos of them.

But one group’s “conflict” strikes me the most:

So, Clara got a lot of hate for the shenanigans that she pulled during last week’s challenge, but how is what Tu did any different from Clara? Okay, granted, Tu showed a higher level of maturity (she’s much older anyway) and Clara’s much louder, but when Tu called Maureen’s photography skill a “fail” and claimed that this is why she “can only be a model,” it is portrayed as two ladies affectionately joking around with each other (despite Tu looking genuinely dissatisfied by the final products), while Clara, who’s clearly looking like she’s goofing around, is portrayed as this annoying loudmouth beeyotch who everyone loves to hate.

I’m not saying that we should hate Tu, but I’d say the same about Clara too. Last week, the tension was built up from Maureen taking too long with the makeup so I understand how she reacted differently with Clara playfully calling her stupid for not getting the right photo than with Tu saying that her photos are bad (Maureen takes bad photo, we get it). However, I think it’s unfair Clara got portrayed as the “bad” one simply because Maureen reacted better to Tu’s (seemed legit) criticisms than Clara’s playful (yet clueless) remarks because she got to work in a calmer environment.

Anyway, Dorothy won the challenge because she embodies her personality - the artist - by biting a brush(?) and looking super indie-artist-chick-like. Not too crazy about the third photo.

Mau’s my favourite, I’ve got to say. The first photo was beautiful, and she’s really giving me this cosmopolitan girl on-the-go vibe. Tu’s discontentment was totally justified. Lol.

And special mention goes to Veronika, or more accurately, Cindy, who took these photos. The first photo looks AMAZING. To capture a movement like that with a polaroid must have taken some mad skills and perfect timing. (Or luck. I think it’s luck.)

Valerie got the worst score and she seemed super stressed-out working with Clara. But look at these photos. Are they really a product of bad photography? She was giving the same poses and the same face angle in all three pictures. Her styling was bad too, and it was one of the main criteria for a high score.

And special mention goes to Cindy, the “Missing Girl: Last seen wearing a blue top and following a creepy-looking dude with a polaroid camera. This is the last picture we have of her. If you have any information, please call this number. Rewards will be given.”

Tu CONSISTENTLY gets low scores for her challenge. WHY??

THE DRAMA

NOW we’re getting to the good part, huh? NOT. 

It all started with Veronika moving back to the “good girls” room with some dirty dish on Nametha. After the challenge, the twins questioned Dorothy’s win, because they can’t even see her eyes. Shikin then asked them who they think should’ve win instead and they said they don’t know because they’re not the judge (dafuq?), prompting Nametha to question their logic (and calling them stupid bitches - on another cam, of course). Then, when they got back to their room, they started talking about how Nametha has no manners and decided to confront her in the “bad girls” bedroom. Nametha, being a BADASS BAWS, just told them to get the fuck over it (more or less).

This went on until after the photoshoot, where they revealed they know Nametha’s been using the wifi and she should get punished for breaking the rules. YADDA YADDA YADDA Clara got exiled to the “bad girls” room for not picking a side (because we good girls just don’t befriend everyone, ew!).

The only two people whom I feel sorry for are: Clara, whose cluelessness seems genuine, and Cindy, who really looks like she thought being in a house with 13 other girls for 13 weeks will be like a giant, super-long slumber party. 

“Why don’t they just settle this with a pillow fight?” thought Cindy.

Anyway, the “drama” was bad - super forced, poorly thought out & terribly edited. Some of the girls’ reactions didn’t even match the conversation/situation somehow. I do find Valerie’s remarks on Dorothy’s photo - “It could’ve been better.” - kinda rude and condescending BUT I get that the bigger problems here lie mostly in the language barrier. And I might add the twin seemed to be pulling the same shit Jennica was doing in the earlier episodes, with the constant criticisms and dissatisfaction over other contestants’ performance, and the way they told Clara to move into the “bad girls” room was very Queen Bee-ish.

In my honest opinion, though, this is the same shit the producers tried to pull last week - create drama out of small fights or disagreement. I don’t know any of these girls in real life, but from what I see, their clashes come mostly from the girls having different personalities. Shikin wasn’t being a bossy bitch, she was assertive and know what she wanted; Clara wasn’t being rude, she was super childish and goofy; Nametha didn’t have no manners, she’s just outspoken and emotionally expressive. Yet, week after week, they make it seems like these girls are ready to claw each other’s eye out. I mean, when your audience keep calling your show out for being scripted, maybe you’ve to consider the probability that you’ve gone too far with the drama.

THE PHOTOSHOOT

Oh, have I told you guys how much I was rooting fro Aimee during the third cycle? She has everything needed to become a top model - brain, beauty, personality, height, and a little bit of an attitude for added flavour. Glad to see she’s doing so well now.

For their photoshoot, they need to embody luxurious indulgence for a Neutrogena commercial ad. They need to show beauty, confidence, sophistication and elegance while being totally relaxed and calm in a confined space of a bathtub.

The girls need to represent three types (flavour?) of Neutrogena body wash. The girls wearing green represent Pear & Green Tea.

Gold Lush for the girls wearing, well, gold.

And Ocean Mist being represented by the girls in blue.

I have MULTIPLE issues with this shoot. When you put a tall girl in a bathtub, wearing a dress, with her having to lift her head while her body is submerged in the water, and combined that with the position of the camera, you are NOT gonna get a good picture. Yu Tsai at least should’ve known this. The dress would’ve given an ethereal, dramatic effect had it been a full-underwater photoshoot, but here, it just made the girls look either restricted, or bigger.

And I wonder if they changed the water because it got really murky at the end. It’s disgusting considering how the water got into their eyes and mouth. (And Cindy, in her Instagram post, said that Clara was submerged for twenty minutes in it due to technical difficulties!)

THE PHOTOS

Like I said earlier, the final products of this photoshoot are not my favourites. I can probably point to some that I like, but even then I think it was just OKAY. But enough about that, LET’S ASSESS (and rank’em).

1) Cindy, 1st place, 44.1 points

I’m torn between this and Maureen’s, but I have to agree with the judges here. This just screams indulgence. Plus, beauty care product is Cindy’s thing. Among the other girls, I can see her being Neutrogena spokesperson the most.

2) Maureen, 3rd place, 43.4 points

Again, she’s a girl who can nail beauty care product with ease. It’s a pretty photo, but not much opinion can be form on it. It’s pretty, but it’s an okay pretty.

3) Nametha, 2nd place, 43.7 points

Now we’re venturing into me-no-likey territory. While I can see the beauty and calmness in this photo, it also shows the main problem in this photoshoot. Nametha’s tall, and being confined in that bathtub means she mostly had to squish herself to get in the frame. And in this photo we can see how that, combined with her dress, make her mid-section looks super huge. You either make the pool larger, or the dress, uh, smaller?

4) Tu, 7th place, 36.5 points

Cindy complained about how her photos are mostly too sexy. But you put a girl who just oozes sexuality without even trying in a lace dress in a bathtub and what do you think is gonna happen? She ain’t gonna turn into Mother Theresa in there, boo.

5) Shikin, 4th place, 43.0 points

I won’t say she’s not a commercial girl (she killed it last week) but I’d say she’s not a Neutrogena girl (same with Tuti last cycle). But that being said this could’ve been better. Shit I sounded like Valerie.

6) Clara, 6th place, 37.8 points

CLOSE. YOUR. GODDAMN. MOUTH. JEEZUS.

Btw, the neck looks super-strained. But that’s “trying to show neck while lifting my head to make sure my face is not submerged in the water” neck I tell you.

7) Dorothy, 9th place, 34.8 points

Can someone PLEASE explain to me this whole “sweet bubbly girl next door” thing that Cindy keeps pointing out about Dorothy? Since the first week she struck me as a sassy girl with an attitude. I don’t know if she looks cute and bubbly in real life but heck I just don’t see it.

Oh yeah, and the photo is terrible. I disagree with Cara saying there’s no emotion there, but it’s less “Come in the bath with me and experience this indulgence together,” and more “OH NO, I really don’t mind you using the toilet while I’m trying to take a relaxing bath, dear...”

8) Valerie, 5th place, 42.5 points

“Help, help, this wall is closing in on me. Oh, a camera! Pose! Help, help...”

9) Veronika, 8th place, 35.5 points

“Why bother, twin? Life’s meaningless anyway. Let’s just crawl in a fetal position and wait quietly for our impending doom.. Let’s go gentle into the good night...”

Goodbye, Nametha

So it was a pre-determined no-elimination week (yeah, right) but the issue of Nametha’s breaking the rules rose again during the judging panel. Cindy asked the girls to raise their hand if they thought Nametha should be eliminated. Tu is so affected by the whole ordeal (she wanna use the wifi too, you guys) that she looks like she’s about ready to backhand any girls who think Nametha should stay.

“You either eliminate her or feel the Wrath of Tu!”

So anyway, we say arrivederci to our blooming flower, Nametha.

She seems unapologetic about breaking the rules. But what has been done has been done, and if the punishment for breaching the contract is disqualification, then I think she got what she deserved. Plus, Tu was right. She’s from Singapore, so being familiar with the country they’re staying in, she should really be the one feeling the least homesick (think of it as going to college where you’re not allowed to use the phone or wifi or something, I don’t know). However, it’s still sad seeing her go especially when she’d been giving really good performances these past few weeks.

Damn wifi.

#asntm #asntm5 #asia next top model #asia next top model cycle 5 #asia #fashion #model #next top model