#however if everything on the internet is ever lost then i think we have

[thedensworld]

Sweet Macaroons | C.Sc

Pairing: Gangster!Seungcheol x Baker!Reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship

Words Count: ±600

Summary: Seungcheol was far from pleased when a food critic posted a negative review that started to impact your sales. He couldn't stand to see you upset.

In the midst of a picturesque five months, Seungcheol, with an air of exclusivity, tenderly asked you to be his girlfriend. Everything seemed to move in slow motion around you, as if the universe itself was savoring the moment. His crew, astounded, couldn't fathom that a humble bakery owner just down the block from their bar had captured their boss's heart. He had transformed into something they never imagined: a unabashedly cheesy boy. Even Jeonghan, Seungcheol's right-hand man, remained baffled by the depth of his friend's infatuation with you. He couldn't quite grasp what had caused Seungcheol to fall so hard until he witnessed how Seungcheol would gladly stop the world at your command.

As an example of Seungcheol's devotion, he had gone as far as hiring a bodyguard to watch over you and ensure your safety. Seungcheol, ever mysterious about his business, would simply say, "I do business in Seoul and Busan," which, in its own way, was true. He owned nearly a hundred bars and nightclubs, not to mention his own association—a realm of details you didn't need to delve into.

Your bodyguard, Jun, who currently disguised as a barista in your bakery, would dutifully relay every detail to Seungcheol. This included mundane activities like your trips to the grocery store, visits from friends at the bakery, or even encounters with rude customers. Despite being in the know about your daily affairs through Jun, Seungcheol cherished hearing you recount your day, especially when it involved a customer that cussed on you. He'd teasingly inquire, "Should I track him down and make him pay?" A promise he would have swiftly fulfilled if you had not said, "No, you don't have to. I'll give him a piece mind when I'm a billionaire."

At times, Seungcheol really wants to say, "Marry me, and you can cuss him back in an instant." He was acutely aware of the influence he held.

However, he received an extremely irritating message from Jun, stating that a popular food critic had left a scathing review on their social media, claiming to have found a fly and cockroach legs in your sweets. This review had a detrimental impact on your sales and the overall image of the bakery, as people began leaving unpleasant comments on your social media platforms.

"Jeonghan, do you know this person?" Seungcheol inquired, displaying a video of the food critic.

Jeonghan confirmed, "Yeah, they're a very influential food critic."

Seungcheol nodded thoughtfully and hummed, "Do you know how to contact them?" he pressed further.

"I think we just need to get in touch with their management. They'll provide you with the pricing for their content," Jeonghan explained, prompting another question from Seungcheol.

"Then we can have them review our food however we want?" Jeonghan nodded, "Why? Are you thinking about having them promote our new foodbar?" he inquired.

Seungcheol shook his head, simultaneously signaling to Jeonghan that he wanted to be dropped off at your bakery.

Jun had informed Seungcheol that you had closed the bakery early today due to the lack of customers following the internet sensation. When Seungcheol arrived, only Jun was present in the bakery. He mentioned that you had gone to the convenience store for a few minutes. As Seungcheol patiently waited at one of the tables, you returned with a plastic bag in hand. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't immediately notice him. Instead, you went straight to Jun, telling him he could go home. Jun subtly gestured towards Seungcheol, indicating that he was waiting for you.

"Hi..." Your voice, though soft as always, carries a subtle shade of sadness. Seungcheol swears he can hear it, a touch of blue in your tone.

He smiles, approaching you and subtly signaling for Jun to leave the shop.

"Are you okay? I saw it online," Seungcheol asks gently once Jun has vanished from view.

You smile back at him, but tears well up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks. You turn away, hiding your face from him as you wipe away the tears. Seungcheol's heart aches at the sight, a feeling he's never experienced before, like someone's squeezing his heart, causing a deep ache.

"Hey, it's okay," he murmurs softly, turning you to face him and pulling you into an embrace. He can feel the tightness in his chest intensify when he hears you sob.

This is the first time he's seen you cry in the five months you've been dating. He swears he'd never want to be the cause of your tears, let alone someone else.

"It's okay, baby. Bad things happen sometimes. It's not your fault," he reassures you as you try to explain how diligently you maintain your bakery's hygiene and ensure the freshness of ingredients. There's no way the accusations the food critic made could be true.

Seungcheol noticed the contents of the plastic bag you had been holding earlier: cleaning soap and equipment. His heart breaks once again, this time tinged with anger.

"Let's go home and rest, okay? I'll hire someone to clean the shop. I don't want to see you laboring with a heavy heart like this," he insists.

Seungcheol calls Jeonghan and swiftly arranges for his people to clean your shop. He drives you home, ensuring you have a proper dinner before settling down for some much-needed rest. Once you're peacefully asleep, he quietly slips away, reaching out to Jun and Jeonghan.

"Get them for me before midnight. Alive," he instructs.

Seungcheol doesn't concern himself with the specifics of how they carried out his request. But when his people successfully bring them to his office, he finally confronts the face that caused his girl to cry.

"What's your name?" Seungcheol asks, rising from his seat and approaching them.

"Who put you up to this?" Seungcheol presents their damning post about your bakery to their face. Poor soul, Seungcheol thinks. This food critic probably never imagined they'd be dragged in by a gangster and subjected to an interrogation like this.

Once Seungcheol acquires the name, he signals his people to reveal the extent of their capabilities. Images of their family and significant other are displayed, and they immediately plead for an apology, expressing regret for their actions.

"You should've thought about that before you posted that garbage," Seungcheol states, fixing them with a steely gaze.

"Upload a clarification video about your previous review. Go to that bakery tomorrow and apologize to the owner. Post both of those things before lunch if you want to spare them," Seungcheol directs, referring to the individuals in the photos as he delivers his unwavering ultimatum.

*

"It was a very wrong act of me to accept the offer to give a bad review to another bakery. I deeply apologize to the owner and my followers for doing such a wrong thing."

Seungcheol smiled at you as you showed him the video from the same account that had claimed they found a cockroach leg on your macaroon.

"See! I knew that my bakery and kitchen have passed the hygiene standards," you said, placing your phone down. There was a visible pout on your face, prompting Seungcheol to let out a chuckle.

"You're too cute," Seungcheol teased, pinching your cheek. He was relieved to see no trace of tears like the previous night.

You gently pulled his hand from your cheek as you stood up to restock the macaroon stall, which was nearly empty. Seungcheol couldn't help but smile as he watched you, his girl, his love, engrossed in the work you adored.

"Before you go, want a macaroon and your favorite latte?" you offered. He swore he would nod to anything you said.

"Here! I've packed some for your staff as well," you added, handing him boxes filled with sweets and a bundle of coffees for Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

He wouldn't let anyone steal your smile, even if he had to stop the world.

#densworld🌼 #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #scoups x reader #scoups fluff #scoups imagine #scoups imagines #scoups smut #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol

[cutielando]

cute ~ oscar piastri

Summary: You and Oscar are titled the cutest couple on the entire grid. Some of the cutest moments between you and Oscar that made you worthy of the title.

Words: 1k+

Other works: my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

First appearance at the paddock as a couple

Looking all around you at the busy paddock, you were in absolute awe.

You had been used to the Formula 2 lifestyle, being with Oscar ever since his karting days and attending as many races as you possibly could.

But Formula 1 was an entirely different thing. This was a whole other world than what you were used to.

"Are you okay?" Oscar asked once he saw how you kept looking all around you.

"This is wow" you mumbled, squeezing his hand that was holding yours and hugging his bicep to keep close to him.

"Quite the upgrade, right?" he asked, kissing the side of your head sweetly.

You nodded, still looking starstruck at the whole paddock around you.

Even after you got to the McLaren garage and Oscar spoke to his engineers and introduced everyone to you, you were still stuck to his side, leaning your head against his shoulder and hugging his bicep close to you.

"You're so cute" you would hear multiple engineers say in your direction, making you blush and try to hide your face in Oscar's hoodie.

Unbeknownst to you, fans had caught the cute little interactions between you two, making the internet go wild over how cute you were.

Slowly but surely becoming the favorite grid couple.

♡♡♡♡♡

First appearance in a McLaren video

You didn't know how he had convinced you to participate.

You had never been one for the attention and the cameras and everything, but you learned how to live with it because it was part of Oscar's life.

However, you always opted out of being in videos you didn't have to be in.

That all changed when McLaren proposed to Oscar that they get the two of you in a video playing a couple's game. It took some convincing on Oscar's part, but here you were in front of the camera, your palms sweating profusely.

"Hey, we don't have to do this if you don't want to" Oscar whispered once he noticed how terrified you truly looked.

Seeing his gentle and worried face made you relax slightly, shaking your head.

"I'm fine. This could be fun" you said, putting your hand over his in reassurance.

He looked at you for a moment longer and nodded his head, leaning in to peck your lips quickly before settling in his chair next to you.

"Hello everybody. I'm Oscar and this is my girlfriend Y/N and we're going to be doing a couple's quiz today!" Oscar excitedly started the video and you just smiled and waved at the camera.

"Don't mind Y/N, she is just a little camera shy" Lando commented from behind the camera, making you blush immediately.

"Moving on. Question number 1, how did you two meet? Y/N, wanna answer?" Oscar asked as he looked ar you gently.

You nodded and cleared your throat, shifting in your chair to sit more comfortably.

"We met back when we were kids, our families were friends. We lost contact when he left home to pursue his racing career and met again when he came home after winning his Formula 3 championship and the rest is kind of history" you said, looking back at Oscar who nodded.

"Question number 2, how do you cope with traveling so much and being away from home?" you asked, looking at your boyfriend.

"It's hard, to be honest. Being away from home for so many months and occasionally only flying back for the holidays, not seeing our families as much as we would like to, the jet lag is horrible. I think Y/N being with me helps a lot, she always helps me balance things out and adapt quickly, plus I always I feel at home wherever I'm with her, so that is definitely a plus" Oscar took your hand in his and kissed me, making you blush once again.

Questions and questions later, you finally ended the video and released a breath you didn't realize you had been holding.

"How do you feel?" Oscar asked you once you were out of the camera shot.

"I'm okay, it was more fun than I thought it was going to be" you confessed, wrapping your arms around his waist.

"Thanks for agreeing to do this with me" he said and leaned down to kiss your lips and then bury his head in the crook of your neck.

After the video was uploaded, the internet absolutely exploded with how cute they found you guys, how perfect you two seemed for each other, edits over edits tagging you and your boyfriend.

♡♡♡♡♡

Celebrating his first Sprint Win in Qatar

Watching the Qatar Sprint had you on the edge of your seat. You've always known how talented Oscar was, but now was the time he would prove it.

He had been leading the Sprint for the majority of the race and it was drawing to a close, your boyfriend still in the lead.

The whole McLaren garage was buzzing with excitement seeing both of their drivers potentially on pole, already starting celebrations before the race even ended.

From the moment Oscar passed the checkered flag first, everything was a blur.

You were screaming and jumping in happiness, hugging both of his parents like it was your last day on Earth.

Once he parked his car and got out of it, you didn't even let him take off his helmet or gloves before you jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck.

"I'm so proud of you, my pretty boy" you told him, burying your face in his shoulder.

"I did it for you" he said back, squeezing you just as tightly.

As you stood there in the middle of the paddock wrapped in each other's arms, everyone around you stopped to admire you.

The amount of love that the two of you shared couldn't be denied, it was very obvious how in love you were with one another and how pure it was.

His parents were standing a distance behind you, watching the sweet interaction with smiles on their face.

They had always cared immensely for Oscar being as he was their only son, and seeing you take such good care of him, loving him, traveling with him and being by his side through his entire career made them feel proud.

It was safe to say that you became the fan favorite grid couple.

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#imagines #oneshots #fanfiction #one shot #mclaren formula 1 #formula 1 #formula one #formula racing #mclaren racing #mclaren #grand prix #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri drabble #oscar piastri blurb #oscar piastri x female reader #oscar piastri x girlfriend!reader #australia #racing #racing driver #op81 x reader #op81 fluff #mctwinks #goose goes vroom #op81 smut #op81 imagine #op81 #oscar piastri imagine

[weirdmorefics]

Hello! Love your Bridgerton fics, I was wondering if you could do a Anthony x wife!reader and she’s like the complete opposite to him (personality wise) sorta like grumpy x sunshine trope? Have a good day/night 💙

Sending love from Scotland!

A/N- Hi! Thanks for waiting for me to make the request! I can't believe someone so far away sees my silly little fanfics. I love the internet

Pronouns- She/Her

Word Count- 533

Tooth rotting fluff

Summary- Anthony has been doing everything to get Eloise to participate in the balls and behave at least somewhat ladylike. He loses his temper but the reader is there to calm the nerves of everyone.

The Rainbow After The Rain

"Eloise!" I hear Anthony shout so loud as it reverberates off our window window panes. I quickly draw the curtain back to see the commotion. Eloise seems to be simply sitting on the tree swing reading however, the whole house is aware of the fact that we are late to the ball. This wouldn't have been such a big argument if it weren't for this particular ball being Eloise's introduction to society. I sigh and put the curtain back to where it once was and make my way to the garden.

The two don't seem to notice my appearance too involved in their battle of wits. I clear my throat to hopefully garner some of their attention to no avail. Eloise is going on about how barbaric the whole tradition is and how she does not wish to marry and Anthony is shouting about she is already dressed and no one is asking her to marry someone tonight. I clap my hands twice loudly which finally snaps their eyes up to my presence.

Anthony's once furrowed angry eyebrows turn into a soft gaze, "Darling."

I ignore Anthony and go straight to Eloise. I can tell by the way his hands instantly turn to fists he is angry with my actions.

"Now Eloise, is my dear husband bothering you?" I say with a sweet smile.

"Indeed, he is being quite troublesome," Eloise smirks as we tease Anthony together.

"Isn't he always," I look at Anthony with love and his once tense shoulders seem to relax at the familiar jest. "I must say Eloise you look absolutely handsome in your gown. I think it would be a waste to not let others see beauty. Do you really want your beauty wasted on your grumpy big brother?"

Eloise puts a finger to her chin in thought, "I suppose you are correct it certainly would be a waste on Anthony."

"Is Y/n not always right?" Anthony questions.

I get up on my tiptoes and place a chaste kiss on Anthony's cheek, "Aw, he is learning."

"Truly, Y/n where would be without you. Anthony would be all rain no shine."

"Lucky, for all the Bridgerton they won't ever have to find out." I smile widely at Eloise. "Now, shall we get you to your ball! I am sure your late entrance will just make you shine more." I link arms with Eloise to guide her to the carriage and my lovely Anthony links arms with my other.

"I think Y/n is more like my rainbow," Anthony interjects.

Eloise and I both turn our heads to look at him like he has utterly lost it.

"She is my light after the storm," he replies after seeing our confused faces.

I can feel my face instantly burn and I am sure I must look like a tomato as Anthony's face turns from love to a smug eating grin.

Eloise gags, "If you want me to make it to the ball I think it is best you do not make me vomit myself to death beforehand."

I bite my lip to stop the laughter but Anthony fully lets out a deep laugh, my favorite sound in the world.

#anthony bridgerton x female reader #anthony bridgerton x y/n #anthony bridgerton x you #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fanfic

[boy---interruptedd]

Alfred's Playhouse Commentary.

Alfred's playhouse is a vent show I recently discovered made by Emily Youcis. I will be addressing the actual content of the show before I move on to my opinion on Emily herself so please hold fire until the end because I KNOW what you're thinking.

TRIGGER WARNING - CSA, SH, CHILD ABUSE, NAZISM, GRAPHIC IMAGERY.

(Not all these themes are discussed in my post but you should be aware of these before watching the show)

Alfred's Playhouse features main character Alfred, who is a dog described in the introduction song as desperately attempting to escape his painful reality. I agree that it is genuinely disturbing, but I'd like to address its vague poignancy and how it deals with its themes.

In the first episode, we see what I think (as a survivor myself) to be the most accurate representation of how it feels to be sexually assaulted I've ever seen. The moment where everything is odd and numb and quiet followed by pure panic and rage.

The first episode also displays mental instability incredibly well. I've struggled with my mental health for the past six years and honestly the scenes where Alfred just rambles about essentially nothing at all, addressing an imagined audience, accurately represents what feels like the descent into madness many mentally ill people are convinced they go through. The thought that you've lost your mind is an extremely painful one and Alfred's Playhouse depicts that with surprising levels of accuracy.

Episode two, however, is essentially just this massive showcase of Alfred brutally harming himself. Though it portrays the very common desperate desire for attention many people experience when they struggle with self harm, myself included, I feel the level of gore is a little gratuitous, displaying Alfred almost bleeding to death from the wounds he's inflicted upon himself. That being said, it is a vent show so I see why Youcis made the decision. She never really made it for other people it was a way to make herself feel better. Then again, it was her decision to post it publicly.

Episode three essentially explains the whole show from a weirder perspective and honestly I don't want to go into it since I have so much to say and it's quarter past 11 at night and I have college tomorrow, but it is a good episode with the context of the show.

Overall, though it is important for assault victims and mentally ill people to have content in which they feel seen, I feel Youcis should have toned her work down a little before posting it. However, the Internet was a wild west in 2007.

Now onto Youcis herself, I feel it is incredibly unjustified to attribute her current political views to the show. She fell down the alt-right pipeline after publishing Alfred's Playhouse. This is almost definitely because of her downward spiral. It's not uncommon for groups like the alt-right to target vulnerable people like Emily. She has so clearly been crying for help for years and, though there's no excuse for her words or actions, I feel you should take her art for what it is rather than apply a made up meaning to it. The depictions of Nazis in the show - I think - are more a commentary on her childhood trauma and the themes of the show, Alfred feeling his life is dictated by someone/something else. While there's definitely better content in the genre and in general, the massive controversy surrounding Alfred's Playhouse is - in my opinion - unwarranted and really just watch it with an open mind and separate it from current Emily because she wasn't like she is now when she made it. Instead of hating on the present, understand the past and don't be overly shocked when mentally ill people do fucked up shit, especially when they've received the kind of backlash Emily Youcis faced.

Final disclaimer- I don't support her actions I hope she burns I just want people to understand things how they actually happened yk?

#alfreds playhouse #emily youcis #analogue horror #robin rambling

[crmsnmth]

Hello

I guess I wasn't clear enough on the third version, so here's Version 4 Introductions are stupid. Hi. My name is Chris. I'm 35. I live in a small-town of about 2000 people in the center of the state of Wisconsin. It is not even close to as glamorous as it sounds. I've lived in quite a few other places though, but I guess it's true that we always go home. I work as a kitchen manager/EC. I've been working in the kitchen on and off for most of my working life. My first job was a cashier at a certain fast food pizza place that makes rectangle pizzas. That aren't good, but the breadsticks always kicked ass.

I am a massive music fan (it's playing right now) and when I tell you I listen to all music, believe me when I say all music. My main daily playlist is always growing and includes everything from iwrestledabearonce to Katy Perry (listen to her unplugged album. Kissed a Girl as a jazz type thing is beautiful) to Atmosphere to Miley Cyrus to Alan Jackson to Dying Fetus. My favorite band is Descendents with Amigo The Devil and Frank Turner coming very very close to that coveted spot. I am a major horror fan, and I don't think I own a single t-shirt that isn't somehow horror related. I'm a sucker for the 80's slashers. I've seen every Friday the 13th movie enough times that if you ever watch them with me, I will annoy you by quoting the lines throughout the whole movie. I am Bipolar. Type 1. I am a raging cynic.

I am an addict in (long-term) recovery. I am sober. I write more than any sane person does, but I never once claimed to be sane. I write because if I don't, my head will explode. You can think this a metaphor all you want.

I do not write for anyone's approval, not even my own. I do this because it's a safe form of release that it's ok to be addicted to. If you have constructive criticism, I'll gladly take it because let's face it, I'm pretty bad at this whole thing. If you're just going to tell me I suck, in however many words, well, I don't need you to tell me that. Dick. I don't follow any rules or guidelines in what I write. So I call it lawless poetry even though half of it doesn't even fit poetry. Most of it is stream of conciseness built around a line or phrase I came up with during the day. I do this every single night. It's my ritual before bed. I journal (which is also posted in a blog) and then I work on my phrases and lines. I've been called garbage at this, but to those who can't give me a reason (other then you don't like it)if you can't back up your reason for being an art critic, your opinion means jack to me. Besides, anyone who claims to be an art critic is a narcissistic jackass. Art is subjective. Not just "I don't like it." Tell me why you don't like it. Tell me it's repetitive. I need to stop. Or I'll rant and moan about why I hate armchair critics for way too long.

So what will you find on my tiny drop in the ocean of the internet? You will see bad poetry, and an awful lot of it to be honest. You'll find random drops of fiction or a story I happen to be working on and want some form of opinion on it. I post at least once a day, but can post up to ten or fifteen times a day. And most of it is just your average mundane sad boy bad poetry. And if you see how much I do post, think of how much stuff I have laying around that never gets touched. I have boxes of notebooks, napkins and matchbooks with lines I thought we're clever.

So since I write so much, what the hell is it exactly that I write about. That's easy. The Girl With Ocean Blue Eyes*, Kid*,The Broken Mirror Girl*, My Junkie Angel*, California Love*, An Ex Band-Mate, love, lost lovers, hopelessness, isolation, drug addiction, alcoholism, depression, forgotten acquaintances, mental illnesses, rage, hate, rejection, joy, insignificant moments, slices of life, laughter, beauty, self and self-reflection, self-hate, art, other writers, panic, infatuations, obsession, therapy, group homes, rehab, jail, grace, nature, loss, hope, fear, grief, anguish, philosophy, anarchism, nihilism, religion, god, the devil, ugliness, politics, serial killers, cults, suicide, death, destruction, chaos, music, validation, closure, memory, enemies, friends, rock bottom, sex, violence, rock and roll, sin, self-exploration, bipolar disorder, schizoaffecive disorder, pain, self-destruction much more.

Consider this line right here your trigger warning. Please see above to see my chosen subjects, and it should be clear that I will write something that can bring up some feelings. I make music as well for another creative outlet. No, I don't churn out songs like I do the written word, but I love my music and if you would like to tell me how much I suck at it here's the links:

https://www.reverbnation.com/crmsnmth

If I come off as extremely depressed in my work, please know that I am fine. I'm good. Ok? Ok.

There, now you know the barest of my bare bones. You want to know anything else, just ask. I'm always happy for the fifteen second interaction. And I always try to interact with those who interact with me, but I am not one to talk first. If you follow me, know that I will most likely follow you back. Unless your space is empty, a bot, porn.

*Not their real names.

#writing #introduction #introductory post #blog intro #intro post #pinned post #pinned intro #introduction post #hello #hi #my writing #about myself

[peachywritesstuff]

Imma say my thoughts/opinions on the situation and then imma bounce off of tumblr for a hot minute.

First thing I would like to say is that I am staying NEUTRAL. GRAY.SWITZERLAND. IN.THE.MIDDLE. and my thoughts will explain WHY I am remaing neutral. I am not someone who is faking just so I can secretly defend Percy.THAT IS NOT THE CASE!!!

#1. The slur

It's pretty obvious that he said it's clear as a blue sky. I frankly don't know the c-word or know what it means but I have learned that is somthing revolving around Canada and how it's very normalized to say which is sad.

#2. The r- /sa allegations

I am going to try my best to be sensitive as possible with my words with this part.This is where I am very lost. 1. I saw someone say (dont remember who) that dates don't matter when they come to victims coming out with sa or r- but they do. Especially if its a celebrity. This isn't just regular twitter drama this is something very serious that has a lot of 'evidence' (I will explain why I put that in air quotes) And at this rate authorites have(or will) already gotten involved and if this goes into to court they will ask for dates this occurred and if they can't be properly backed up that lead to something else like defamation. No amount of times I re-read all the tweets with all the pictures and text messages will make me feel any less lost. Yes everything is there and it makes Percy look like a very bad person but at the same time....it's all so blended together?? Idk how to explain it. Some of the text messages that i have seen is to fumbled and mushed together like I'm lost with all the ages this happened and apparently Canada has the 5 year law relating to minors???

#3. The nudes

Some of them honestly look like he took them when he himself was a minor which kinda sucks for everybody else who had been spreading his nudes (actual nudes) everywhere on Twitter. Still doesn't make it ok for him to send them to minors ( allegedly)it ALSO doesnt make it ok to release his all over the internet. Because that looks bad for the people spreading them becuase 1. Someone from Percy's team is watching. Do yall not think they are ignoring this? With so much out already I highly doubt they are. They will find people spreading his nudes around just because no words have been spoken to us doesn't mean nothing is happening. And if I wanna butt in this part the ones with him on the toilet and bed honestly look like some teenage boy doing something stupid. However we don't know the context behind those nudes just one where he took a shit at his new apartment (which that one really looks like he was being really stupid but who uses the bathroom naked?????)

#4. Him staying silent is guilt.

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. He isn't saying anything until he has a lawyer and his team can make up a proper statement. That situation is out of his hands now he no longer has control over his social media.

#5. The 'Evidence'

I will explain why i put evidence in quotations. Half of the evidence is coming from anonymous,and faceless accounts which will be useless in court becuase they cannot verify if they already have them printed out they cannot know who wrote those allegations. If they find the person who wrote those allegations this is a chance they dont want to testify and if those people are real or not. Being a faceless account in a situation like this is kind of iffy but I can get why you don't want people to know you said that stuff. The evidence keeps changing every hour and one minute is this but then actually it's this or wait it's that.

I am trying to think from the pov of the victims and I would honestly be terrified of thousands of people coming at me asking all types of questions but everything is all over the place. The right thing for the victims to do is to step away from social media, sit down and organize everything and make sure everything they have can fall back on something. What is on Twitter is just..... evidence thrown up together.

#6.the vicims

I have been looking on Twitter and learned the victims are acting....odd? Not all of them. One of them made a tiktok about how they canceled a Netflix star in 9 days into 2023 and another one commented "yeah we did that". Idk about yall but that's weird. Sounds like their flexing??? You don't flex about a rapist. Especially with what they did to you.

Next, one of them threaten another person saying she will find where she live and for her saftey she better leave her alone. But then she tweets how she was going to (legally) do it but they messages she sent to the girl was coming off very threatening. She wasn't threatening to kill idk why people are thinking that but she was threatening the girl and she was obviously going to do something. She claims the person was spaming her but the person supposedly spaming her said she was just saying Percy was innocent. Idk if she said that in one text or multiple. I get how she was angry I really do but the way she pharsed it only made herself look more bad.

Third, the same girl(victim) from the pervious paragraph has tweeted in the past about Wednesday and has talked about it not about Percy,but about Wednesday and her mothers relationship. What confuses me is that he has (allegedly) r-/sa this girl but she proceeds to watch the show he has a decent amount of scenes in? Then, according to one of the tweets,20h before the allegations rose she was tweeting about how she gets told she looks like a lot like Wednesday. Idk could be a coincidence, could not be. WE DO NOT KNOW.

#7. Time

It has not been a fully 47 hours since this stuff came out. People are automatically expecting a response from Percy is beyond delusional. I think we all woke up to this so and had a chaotic morning (ik I did) he can not defend himself yet because of his legal team possibly taking over his socials. It will be awhile until we hear something which is why the good half of people are waiting for his side to come out before deciding futher of their place on the situation. I know everybody is waiting impatiently but it's gonna be a while.

#8. Throwing the r word around.

I don't like how everyone is throwing that word around. Calling people who try to remain neutral apologist r- and saying that to basically anyone who wants to think logically. First off nothing has been proved he done anything. Don't be fooled I am equally as disgusted as you are but this is all coming from Twitter. Yes the victims had no where else to go because they went to the police and they did nothing but this is all coming from twitter. No spare videos of anything but him saying the slur,just screenshots and words. We don't even know if the evidence can be used in court guys.

I'm trying to be logical about the whole thing,and I am pointing out stuff that has stook out to me. After this I am keeping my mouth shut and watching from the sidelines.

There is so much more I want to say but it's almost 1am where I am at and I'm tired. If the allegations are true my heart goes out to the victims. If it's not,then even more hell is gonna break loose. Until we can see Percy's side there is nothing else we can do but wait. I am just so sad about this whole thing and wish that everything isn't true but it's really not looking good for him. Only time will tell with this. I hope my way of saying things did not offend any of you and if they did I am truly sorry. I'm taking a risk and leaving my messages opened but please tell me your opinions kindly. I have told mine with minimal to no violence I would like to have the same option when expressing yalls with me.

The last thing I will say is that Twitter is a mess. Idk what to believe anymore. Stuff keeps changing and it gets more confusing. This all just needs to be settled outside of Twitter. I'm sad the victims had to resort to this route but everything is a mess and it's too confusing and I won't believe or side with anyone until an official statement is out. Not something from Twitter.

Hope yall have a good day or night guys :) make sure yall eat well and drank some water. To my followers, idk if I will be back to posting maybe I will maybe I won't ,Xavier Thorpe was quite the reason I started back writing and with him gone all of that motivation is just gone now. I'm sorry to yall becuas I feel like I disappointed yall cuz all fo you were looking forward to my stuff but until futher notice, I will be off of Twitter,and semi off of Tumblr.

Peaches Out ✌🏽❤️

#percy hynes white #xavier thorpe x reader

[why-do-we-do-this]

After several days of slowly translating, here's my version of Cellbit's pdf, translated into English.

I've included a brief summary under the cut for anyone who might not want to read the whole thing or who are wary of the warnings.

This was my personal method of processing, and I encourage all of you to do what you need to do so as well, whether that be stepping off of the internet and letting the moss reclaim you for a while, drawing, crying it out, comprehending the beautiful insignificance of existence for as long as you need to, or talking this situation through with somebody else.

tws for:

sexual assault, aphobia, suicidal ideation, manipulation, victim blaming

-

Chronological Event Summary

At age 9 Cellbit had an awkward and very violating encounter with a neighbor girl who was older than him which left him traumatized. He questioned his sexuality as he was growing up, and thought things would make sense once he actually lost his virginity, which he did to his first girlfriend at age 18. Since then, he's been sure of his asexuality. However, this girlfriend was aphobic and constantly pressured him into having sex with her or urging him to seek medical help for his lack of interest in sex. She would embarrass him in front of his friends, gaslit him into thinking that no one else would ever accept him for who he is, was physically violent towards him, and cheated on him. Once he was finally able to pull away from her, she started making incessant posts about Cellbit being abusive, mean, and jealous, which caused backlash against Cellbit and his content, and she even used his depressive period and suicide attempt as reason to incite hate against him. Cellbit remained in silence in response to this, fearing what might happen if he tried to fight back, but, with the recent new allegation that this ex made accusing him of sexually assaulting her, Cellbit had enough and broke his silence with this document. He's said that he doesn't want this to affect him and his loved ones any longer, and he doesn't want to speak about all of this any more than he already had to.

-

Cellbit's pdf

MY RESPONSE, 7 YEARS LATER

7 years ago I was in a relationship with a person who lied compulsively, cheated on me, tricked me and has tried to ruin my life up until the present, though I've always tried to stay silent.

This week, she accused me of sexual assault.

This is a complete lie.

It's time to finally tell everything that I have lived through.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "There's no normal way to ask this / I'm just curious / but are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "as in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

This relationship began in 2015. I had just turned 18 and she was 20. 9 years ago. I broke up with her in 2017, two years later.

After we broke up I never responded to any of the allegations that she publicly made against me. I didn't want my followers going on a witch hunt, and even less to expose a personal relationship which used to bring me so much pain.

The only statement that I made was related to me doing therapy, I never mentioned her name and never spoke about anything that she did to me. I NEVER attacked her nor encouraged any kind of hate towards her during all of these years.

And, despite her always claiming that "she doesn't want to revive that subject", she is literally the only one who keeps talking about it, inventing and distorting more things every time, even 7 years later. And I have always maintained my quiet, always held on to my silence. But this week, she has made the worst accusation so far, and there is no more silence to hold on to.

This is a document directly relaying all the facts of what I lived, with any evidence that I could get in order to confirm things. This is not me asking for forgiveness. I am not here to try to convince anyone that doesn't like me to change their opinion.

I've learned after all these years that in this situation I always am going to be seen as the one at fault. It doesn't matter what I say. Any kind of defense or argument is going to always be accused of "silencing" her.

And, if I keep quiet, like I did for all of these years, that would be interpreted as me "keeping quiet because it confirms the truth". And she'll continue accusing me of more and more absurd things.

So then, like I said, this is not an apology, it's clarification. A report detailing everything that happened, point by point, about all of the events that were "exposed" by my ex-girlfriend. And from there, you all can draw your own conclusions.

I know that even after everything that I write here, many people are still going to refuse to consider the other side of things. There is an image that has been constructed of me, where I am a psychotic monster, which is difficult to erase. But this document isn't for the people who believe in that. This clarification is for those who have always been willing to understand.

I just want people to finally hear my story and take away what they will from it. I am no longer going to let this destroy the lives of the people that I love in the same way that it destroyed mine.

ASEXUALITY AND THE SEXUAL ASSULT ACCUSATION

I am going to begin by directly responding to the accusation that is making me publish this report after all of these years of silence. I have never been accused of something as absurd as this, and I am completely certain that I can PROVE that it is IMPOSSIBLE that this claim is real.

After years accusing me of countless things, for the first time my ex-girlfriend has decided to accuse me of an unforgivable crime. She posted a tweet that mentions me by name, implying that I sexually violated her.

Without any proof, after years of making one exposure after another, trying to destroy my image and my life, she's finally decided to call on a lie about the worst thing that she can:

[A tweet from a fan and a reply from the ex-girlfriend]

(Fan) "I'm never going to forget the details she gave about how insane it was to give pussy to Cellbit because his dick was thick"

(Ex-girlfriend) "I really want you guys to stop reviving the sexual assault that I sufferered without having any understanding of things, as if it's funny. Unfortunately, I thought it was normal to feel pain and suffer a shitload of pressure to feed into his self-esteem publicly, and so I said shit that I thought would please him. You all should be embarrassed, bunch of assholes."

I am asexual.

All of my personal friends have known for many years that I am asexual, and I had mentioned it before in some different places publically. My sexuality was never a subject that I spoke much about, but was also never something that I tried to hide.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and an unnamed individual, dated 27th July, 2020.]

(Cellbit) "[Fans on YouTube] made a compilation of all the times I've shown being asexual on the internet"

(unnamed) "afkahfkhfks amazing / people are talking about that / you're fine with it?"

(Cellbit) "It doesn't matter to me, I won't have to suffer prejudice for it if I don't reveal it directly / despite wanting to eventually, only for those who are able to comfortably accept it as is"

(unnamed) "I understand / If one day you want to, you should speak about it. I think that it's more of a positive thing than a negative tbh lmao"

To be brief, this doesn't mean that I cannot have sex, but I simply don't have interest or desire to.

[An image of a youtube video thumbnail and title. The thumbnail is of Cellbit with a quote that says "I don't like to have sex," the title is "Cellbit, are enigmas better than sex?" the video is dated to four years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I've always been like this, ever since I was a child. And, despite being interested romantically in people and falling in love normally, I do not feel the desire to have sexual relations of any kind.

I always grew up feeling that there was something different about me in contrast to other people. I questioned my sexuality a lot, not understanding if I was gay or if there was something physically wrong with me, and I thought that maybe I would understand everything once I lost my virginity. This happened with my ex-girlfriend, and ever since that first time I had sex, I knew that this was really just the way I am. I began researching, reading about asexuality on the internet and talking with a psychologist about it.

Despite this, I can have and have had sexual relationships in my life. I just don't feel any desire or physical need to have sex.

Including, actually, that I have a healthy sex life with my current girlfriend.

My ex-girlfriend is now accusing me of sexual assault. We had sexual relations consistently, always when she wanted, it was always her who initiated, and she always told me that there was something wrong with me. It was a topic that she repeatedly brought up to humiliate me around friends, as well. Sometimes as little jokes, but other times in much more exposing ways. On one occasion, for example, we went out with some friends and she asked for one of them to give me a "lesson on sex" so that I "do things more enthusiastically."

She also constantly would tell me that I should go to be examined and get medical treatment to try and "fix" me. All of the sexual relations that I had with her went until she felt satisfied, and then she would tell me to finish up alone.

I talked with her numerous times about being asexual when we were together. I mentioned that I'd spoken about it in therapy and that I was reading more about it in online communities. She didn't believe that it was possible, and insisted that I had something wrong with me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018. This is a repeat image of one that appears earlier in the document]

(ex-girlfriend) "There isn't a normal way to ask about this / I'm just curious / are you actually asexual? / or something?"

(Cellbit) "As in, not enjoying sex? / I am"

Even after we ended our relationship, when we spoke again in 2018, she still invalidated my sexuality.

I lost count of how many times she made me feel obligated to have sex with her, even when I clearly didn't want to, just so that she would feel satisfied, because of the fear that if I didn't do it, she would cheat on me.

Even knowing that it was a matter I didn't want disclosed, she still spoke publicly about our sex life just to make me feel more pressured to "go and see what's wrong with me sooner."

[A screenshot of a video with the thumbnail most of the way cut out, titled "Cellbit's girlfriend talking about his dick", dated 6 years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]

I couldn't understand exactly why she decided to lie about something that she knew I would never have had the capacity to do.

THE ABUSE THAT I SUFFERED

In addition to all of that, I had been sexually abused when I was 9 years old by my neighbor when I lived inland in the countryside, and she knew about this. This is a story that I avoided speaking about the most that I could, I never had the courage to even tell this to my mother, and my ex KNEW that I NEVER wanted to disclose this to the whole internet, no matter what happened. It was something that left me with massive trauma that is still very difficult to talk about.

Very few people in my social circle know about this, because it's something that pains me greatly to remember. In 2019, I also told part of the story to some mods and people in my off-stream chat community that I trusted.

[A series of chat history messages from Cellbit, dated to 19th May, 2019.]

"The older person wasn't a man / ...... / The story starts in the chicken coop / when I, my neighbor [redacted], who was the same age as me, and his older sister were playing wedding / I was the groom, she was the bride, and [redacted] was the minister / Their parents had left the house and it was just us three in the chicken coop of the abandoned train station house / After the ceremony, we didn't kiss, but me and the girl went into their parent's bedroom to have a "honeymoon" / but, I was only 9 years old and didn't know what sex was / I just knew that people got naked on a bed / so [redacted] stayed outside of the room, and me and his sister got naked on the bed, rubbing against eachother pretending that we were having sex. I thought that that was actually real sex and was mortified, she was a lot older and I didn't know why she was doing that"

And now, YEARS AFTER living that hell, being humiliated different times by her, questioning my own sexuality, feeling used, she makes a post implying that I committed the worst and most disgusting crime that exists. A crime that I suffered through.

A person that she KNOWS would never be able to commit that. But she feels free to accuse me because until today I have always kept silent.

Accusing me of something that was literally never mentioned by her before, suddenly, on the week that I am going to participate in an international award ceremony. It's something that comes up in a new story that she deletes soon after giving people just enough time to take a screenshot, like she always does.

She always alleged that we had a toxic relationship, but now, in 2024, she accuses me of sexual assault, without any kind of proof, and never having spoken about that before in all these years.

Even after 7 years, she continues controlling my life, forcing me to publicly humiliate myself and talk about the most intimate side of my life, making me expose my sexuality and the fact that I was abused when I was a kid, just to be able to prove that I would never do something as terrible as that.

For me, this is the limit.

I have always had empathy and concern for her, and she never stopped. I just want to live my life in peace.

THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE OTHER ACCUSATIONS

I met my ex-girlfriend in 2015, at an event called XMA 2015. I had a panel to talk with some followers and take some photos after. During these events, all of the guests stayed separated in some rooms where we could talk. There, I met her for the first time and we very quickly began to flirt with eachother.

[An article heading titled "XMA Mega Arena 2015: Event assembling champions and stars of e-sports" the subtitle reads "Fans of the main e-sports titles are able to watch the championships of the major Brazilian gaming teams," dated to the 1st of May, 2015]

[A video thumbnail titled "XMA - day 1," dated to 8 years ago. It is set 6:48 into the video, a woman can be seen on camera from waist to chin]

My ex-girlfriend present at the event in a video:

[A link to the above described video, which is included in the original document] - Video proving that she was at the event.

[An article headline with the title "XMA Mega Arena 2015 | Youtubers are a big attraction in an e-sports event," the subtitle reads "On the first day of the event, content creators call more attention than the champions", a quote at the top of the article reads "Man, do you guys know if Cellbit is going to leave to give autographs?" dated to 1st May, 2015. A link to this is included in the original document]

An interview that I gave at the event, proving that I was there.

We chatted for around 30 minutes, I had just turned 18 and had never had a partner. She was older, 20, and had already had various boyfriends before. We got eachother's numbers on WhatsApp, and I left to do my panel. At the end of the event, we encountered eachother again and continued talking a bit more.

During that night, I went to send a message to her and noticed that her WhatsApp profile picture was a selfie of a man, not her. I thought that she had given me the wrong number, but I sent a message and in a few seconds saw her changing her avatar to a photo of her and responding to me soon after.

I asked who it was in that photo, and she said that it was a joke that she was doing pretending to be a friend. We continued flirting and exchanging messages for some time, until someone informed me that she apparently had a boyfriend.

She was dating a professional LOL player, and had gone to the XMA event as his companion. His team was participating in the championship of the event.

[A low quality image of an information page about XMA 2015, including the location and date of the event, and some teams]

The LOL championship at XMA that her boyfriend was playing in

When I asked about this, she told me that he was just a fling (he wasn't, they were dating), but that she was going to end the relationship soon because she claimed that he "was rude to her." She said that she was just waiting for the right moment to be finished with him because he "was in a championship and she was going to affect his career."

While this was happening, she asked me to travel to her city so that we could meet. It was there that, a few days later, we found ourselves in Monte Alto, a small town in the countryside where she lived, and we stayed together in an inn.

[An image of a travel ticket for Cellbit, dated to 13th May, 2015]

Fare to Monte Alto, 10 days after meeting her at the event

[A post by the ex-girlfriend, dated 28 May, 2020. A link to this is included in the original document]

"I lived in Monte Alto"

It was in this inn that she cheated on her boyfriend with me, and was then that I lost my virginity, believing that she already wasn't speaking with him anymore. As it was my first time, she was constantly complaining and making jokes about me being inexperienced.

That was the day that I started to understand that I am asexual, something that would become important later on in our relationship.

We continued our relations for a few more weeks, where she would always give excuses for the reason she had not broken up with her boyfriend yet, saying that she was almost finished, that there was just one more game of his, it was just one more weekend.

Eventually, she asked me to help her write a breakup message for her boyfriend in a skype call, and finally we could have a "real relationship." But, the damage was already done, and I just hadn't noticed yet. I still didn't have any idea what I was getting into, and she was my first girlfriend. I was in love with a person who was manipulating and lying to her previous boyfriend, while she did the same thing to me.

Some of the people in the LOL scene who had met her informed me that she used to "switch boyfriends quite frequently" and that they had heard stories about cheating before.

That whole situation left me extremely traumatized and paranoid, but this was only the beginning.

A few months passed, we dated long distance for some time, and afterwards the two of us moved to São Paulo into different apartments. She was living with her sister and studying at college, and I moved in with some friends into an apartment.

All of this initial context is important for what came later.

HER ACCUSATIONS

In the accusations that she made after we broke up, the events have always been distorted and described in an ambiguous manner, using words like "abuser" and "aggressor" in order to give the understanding that what happened may or may not have been some kind of assault.

Among other things, she said that: "I kicked her out of the house," that she "was locked in a bathroom," that I called her names and that I "threw her things away."

All of these stories are distortions of one singular event.

On the contrary from what she insinuated when she said that "I kicked her out of the house," we never lived together. She was 20 minutes away from me, though she slept at my house sometimes, because we were dating.

During our relationship, she was constantly telling stories about a specific ex-boyfriend. An abuser who did cocaine, sexually harassed her, broke into her house, threatened to kill himself to stay with her, and that she'd had to call the police on him before. She said that she had him blocked everywhere, but that he still tried to talk with her after years, and had even followed her back to her house one time.

Eventually, in a moment where we were together, she was using her phone beside me and a Facebook Messenger notification appeared on the screen. It was a message sent by this ex, who I'd heard numerous stories about being a psychotic abuser, apparently responding to a message from her. I have never in my life seen someone swipe a message off the screen as fast as she did in that moment.

That was that day I discovered it wasn't just that she hadn't blocked him, but that they were talking about possibly getting back into a relationship. All of those messages were from the same week, as she was still dating me.

I confronted her for cheating on me, then, and told her to leave my apartment and go home. She began to scream and cry, shoved me, slapped me in the face, and locked herself in the bathroom saying that she wouldn't leave.

She used to hit me constantly, which back then I believed was "normal" because it was my first relationship. I thought that all girlfriends must hit their boyfriends, and even more so because she was a woman and smaller than me. At that time I didn't consider it to be "actual assault," even if it did hurt me.

Even with her slapping me and shoving me more than once, I never fought back or laid a finger on her.

I knocked on the bathroom door saying that she needed to gather her things and leave my house, and she refused. This is the story that she turned into "I locked her in the bathroom"- since, because the bathroom key was kept inside the bathroom, it would have been impossible for this, and illogical to lock a person outside of the bathroom while I was trying to break up with them for cheating on me.

As she'd refused to leave, I said that I would leave her things at the exit of the apartment and when she decided to go she could look for them there. I then put her bag in the building's garage. This was what she made into "I threw her things away."

[A tweet by the ex-girlfriend]

"He woke me up, angry because I warned a friend not to talk to him anymore because my ex was jealous, so he kicked me out of the house without shoes and threw my things in the apartment's garbage."

And yes, I did call her names when I discovered that she was cheating. And she called me just as many as I called her, if not even more. She'd make me feel like a monster no matter what'd happened, literally inventing things that I never said and making me believe I said things that I don't remember saying.

After that, we stayed apart for some months, but still kept in contact and saw eachother a few times. She invented dozens of different excuses, from "It wasn't exactly that and I understood wrong" to "She was just talking to her ex then because she was scared that he would do something to me."

She always knew exactly what to say and how to manipulate things in a convincing manner. Eventually, we went back to dating again, but obviously my psyche was already completely destroyed.

With the passage of time, our relationship kept getting worse and worse. I would catch her lying about little things compulsively and all of the time. I noticed that she would always change some details in stories she told, she constantly talked shit about all of her friends and mainly about her best friend at the time, or other specific things that didn't make sense like saying she'd never felt attraction for any man besides me.

At events, she would say that other streamers were hitting on her, just to see my reaction, and in one situation in particular, she flirted with another influencer so much that he tried to kiss her in front of me. Then when I confronted him, he justified it by saying she'd implied that we had an open relationship.

Besides this, she continued having more and more violent outbursts, often in public over small things, such as yelling at me in the middle of a restaurant with my friends because I put ketchup on the side of the fries plate without asking for permission from her, and then calling an uber and leaving.

Or even to the point of creating situations to blackmail me with, like hiding the notebook I was using for work and refusing to give it back to me until I'd done what she wanted.

Another one of her stories included a party where I "abandoned her and left"- at this party, we had a fight after I saw her giving her number to a guy she'd just met while I was in the bathroom. She justified this with "He looked sad so she went to talk to him and let him know that if he needed anything he could send her a message." After that, I went to the other side of the party, and when I came back, I could not find her anywhere. I looked everywhere for her and nobody had seen or knew where she was. I had her phone with me, and searched the party for almost an hour without finding her. I thought that she'd maybe gotten a taxi home or hitched a ride with someone. An hour later, a friend of hers dropped her off at my apartment and she said that she had been on the second story of the party (which was a closed off section, there was no party there, I never would have thought of going up to the second floor to look for her) venting and talking with a friend.

She also claimed that I wasn't supportive and that I tried to hinder her from creating content on the internet, when all of the first edited vlogs on her channel were recorded on my camera, and I was also the one to teach her to edit her own videos.

She made me believe that I was dependent on her, that I would never find someone who really loved me, that all of the others would only stay with me for the interest and the followers. And I believed her.

Eventually, after two years of an extremely toxic relationship, I finally decided to break up with her in 2017.

Even after we ended our relationship she continued her behavior of compulsively lying and manipulating. In the same month that we ended our relationship, she got together with another influencer that she had been talking with for a while. In 2018, while she was still dating him, she would secretly talk with me and say that she still loved me.

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex, dated 9th July, 2018]

(ex-girlfriend) "You were enough [text that is cut off on the screenshot] / just for understanding who I was / or laughing at my jokes / or staying with me / etc"

(Cellbit) "I love you / sorry that's fucked up"

(ex-girlfriend) "I love you too / eh, [I'm] equally fucked up JFDKSJKA / It's too intense to ignore"

(Cellbit) "But I could never stop fucking loving you, Flavia"

(ex-girlfriend) "Okay, look, I already knew this / IQ of 220"

(Cellbit) "And I know that you have a boyfriend and I never wanted to intrude or say anything because I know how unfair that would be for you"

Including, we had NUMEROUS conversations about our relationship where we asked for forgiveness from one another. Even with her publicly saying that "we'd never resolved it" in her livestreams, we talked normally as if everything was fine.

This is literally the last interaction that we had before she blocked me and did the streams claiming that I was a psychopath who destroyed her life:

[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 4th August, 2018]

(Cellbit, in English) "Hey / ummm / I love you and think you are [incredible] okay. Maybe today is a normal day but I want you to remember that when you are feeling down or anxious or sad. I dunno, okay bye sleep well / Also this really looks like a drunk message but I swear I'm sober / [audio message] Here's Tingrinho being a little engine as proof"

(ex-girlfriend) "WHAT A CUTE PURR / and really, thank you / c:"

The last interaction before all of the exposures in which she claimed that "we'd never resolved it" and never talked about it.

After everything, she still had the capacity to use my depressive period and exposing my suicide attempt as a way to VILLAINIZE me. It was the worst time I went through in my life. I couldn't work, I started doing drugs for some months, and could only think about committing suicide every day. I only made it through alive because my BEST FRIEND went rushing to my house to save my life.

It's something that I am always going to be grateful for, something that I am never going to be able to forget, and something that he also never spoke about because he knew that it was something I was trying to forget. It was an extremely traumatic period in my life and I promised that I would never relive it.

Another story that I NEVER wanted to have to tell, and one that she EXPOSED on a livestream of hers, like somehow me trying to kill myself was proof that I am a monster.

And even after all of this, I continued my silence, watching her distort everything that we'd lived and transforming me into a monster for all of the internet, scared that if I responded, everything would become 10 times bigger and worse, and the internet would make both of our lives hell.

When I gave an interview on the program of another influencer and was asked what the reason was for the breakup, I tried not to start a war or create gossip, giving a generic answer, saying that we went our ways and that everything was fine, because we really were talking normally. My ex used this to villainize me, saying that I was trying to lie about our relationship in the interview in order to "erase my wrongs."

[A messaging string between Cellbit and the interviewer, dated 4th August, 2019]

(Interviewer) "Man, this bullshit is all exploding, do you want to speak about this with me?"

(Cellbit) "Hey, [redacted] first off I'm very sorry that you got stuck in the middle of this without having any relation to it / So, about your video, this is by far one of the most unfair things in this whole story, because she made it out as if it was a lie, but everything I said was 100% true. / Or at least that was what I thought at the time, that we had everything resolved and were both fine on our own. / Considering, she and I used to talk just fine on WhatsApp"

(Interviewer) "Magical. I imagine that she was insulted by me because of the video"

Explaining to the interviewer that what I said was true and that we were speaking normally, like the screenshot above proves, despite her not believing it.

I was always scared that everything would become a circus, everyone watching as two lives collapsed, when all that I wanted was for her to be fine and leave me in peace.

After we broke up, I spent years without being able to have a relationship of any kind with anyone, holding on to numerous traumas, believing that I would never be able to trust other people again, and that I was never going to find someone who would accept my asexuality.

It took more than 3 years to be able to finally trust in someone again, and today I am in a new relationship of almost 4 years. An extremely healthy relationship that showed me what it really means to be able to trust in someone, and has made me into someone who becomes better every day.

But, once again, like has happened many times every year, my ex-girlfriend continues reviving and creating new stories every time something relevant happens. If I'm canceled for being an asshole and banning a guy playing Tetris, if another creator is canceled for an abusive relationship, or if I'm a participant in an important international award ceremony, she appears once more, posting something about the subject, and deleting the tweets some time later to remain in the role of someone who is being attacked and "not left in peace." Just like she's probably going to do again now.

With the passage of time, she has gone from distorting events to inventing completely new things, until at this point even the public is starting to question her motive for bringing up the same topic again and again, like saying that I "controlled what she ate" or that I "tracked her location with GPS" which are complete lies.

She also enjoys blaming me for things that I don't have the smallest relation to, like saying that my fans made her lose her Instagram and "lose job opportunities," when in reality her Instagram account was reported when she was canceled for a post complaining about an event and was mocked by various influencers and sites.

[An Instagram post by the ex-girlfriend]

"I did an event with them, two days to earn 1500 reals. They gave me the cheapest room in the hotel. IT DIDN'T HAVE ROOM SERVICE- dinner options were risotto or lasagna (both microwave meals) and I had to get it downstairs. I have half a million followers and I seriously felt like a nobody."

The post of hers that resulted in the mass report that deleted her Instagram

Another thing that keeps being said incessantly on the internet is that I "never suffered any consequences even after she exposed all of that"- I lost dozens of contracts from all of the publicity agencies and producers that closed their doors on me and never invited me back to events or ads. But, I never publicly complained or disclosed this, because more than once that has resulted in a war involving the public.

All that I could do was keep working and keep believing that at some point this would all end. But everything that happened caused a surge of hate against me which generated accusations of various very serious and unacceptable crimes that random people on the internet all believed I'd committed, even without having any proof at all.

And I will not stand this any longer. I cannot put up with this knowing that my mother receives threats and terrible DMs, seeing people telling my girlfriend to kill herself or cheering for her to be abused in order to confirm the theories and accusations of my ex-girlfriend and see "Cellbit exposed once again"

[Three tweets from fans, all responding to one tweet made by Cellbit's girlfriend addressing the ex's allegations]

"In a max of 2 years she's going to post that Cellbit ruined her life with psychological problems, that he was abusive and forced her to post this"

"I hope you get fucked a lot!!! You and your shit boyfriend"

"Guys, remember when he attacked his girlfriend? Go fuck yourself Cellbit, kill yourself you piece of shit"

And I'm going to continue prosecuting everyone who continues to invent lies about me on the internet, it doesn't matter how much the engagement. If you have something to say, it's best to have proof you can take to court. It took me too long to understand that I didn't need to stay silent in the face of the atrocities that were said about me, and I am not going to stop again now.

They have already destroyed my image and my life on the internet, but I am not going to let this continue with the people close to me. I want to be happy with the people that I love, and I am not going to accept being treated like a criminal any longer.

She accused me of sexual assault, something that could end me publicly, believing that I would likely not respond because I have never responded before. She was not accusing me of being a mean, jealous or possessive boyfriend like she always used to, she accused me of a serious crime.

And now, she's going to set herself back into a position where this document is an attack on her, when all that I am doing is defending myself from the worst false accusation that has been made against me, of a crime.

I want to make it CLEAR: this document is NOT an attack or an attempt to induce hade against anybody. I am simply defending myself and giving my statement of the facts that happened. I DID NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS, but it was the only way to be honest and true to all of the people who have supported my projects and my community.

I know that people who already disliked me, whatever their reason, are still not going to believe me. Like I said, I am not here to try and change anyone's opinion.

In the end, here in this document is the proof of a pattern of lying and manipulative behavior that has happened with many people before me and that continues to happen with me repeatedly. I just want to live in peace knowing that I finally accounted for all that I experienced, and leave the space for people to draw their own conclusions.

#cellbit #qsmp #I put everything under the readmore but I don't know if I still should tag all the triggers or not? theres probably a lot #this is a shit situation all around but to my fellow aces and my beloved brazilians lqm we'll all get through things together #also if there's any massive translation errors I've made please let me know I checked over everything like five times and cross referenced #with Cellbit's english translation afterwards but You Never Know. it's wild that a year ago I knew absolutely zero portuguese #took me like 10 hours total to fully translate this but I feel better now I think 👍 #shoutout to my sibling for helping me english when I got so deep in Language Mode that I couldn't understand sentence syntax anymore

[trickytrick]

pete wentz’s reply to heychris’s hateful paragraph back in 05:

oh what a monster we've created.

when i am called by my manager to read a post that is burning through the internet it makes me wonder. ive never responded to rumours or shittalking online, no matter who it came from- at the same time there is nothing that makes my blood boil more than reading this- being who i am, my first instinct is to blow it off- but then i consider how anytime anything is written on the internet people believe its true- no matter what, no matter the biases or subjectivity of the sources. my first instinct is to lash out- to say everything i think about you and every situation- to defend myself and attack you. as unbelievable as it is- i am an extremely insecure person- everytime i read something about myself negative or positive i react in probably the exact same way anyone would.

but like i said- i am going to continue to do this my own way, what i consider to be the higher road. i understand when we get angry we often lash out- ive done it myself on many occassions. if you want to talk to me about any of this call me on my cell phone and we can do it one on one-

i will not be responding to anything else-

however, the attacks about our fans and the people that listen to this music and read these words is completely offbase- the fans of this band are my entire life- ive lost my girlfriend, my friends, much of my "normal" life- just to keep this relationship going- this isn't to say that i dont make mistakes, take misteps. just because youve seen me on tv or at a show doesn't make me anything less or more than humanyou dont ever see the other side of the way we agonize over every decision we make or try our best to please everyone- because we've given up in bands before and we know how it feels and we dont want that to happen. everyone in the band is upset about this- remember everyone that makes up fall out boy- they all wanted me to voice that we appreciate our fans and friends that weve met more than anything- and that we realize because of where we are all the arrows are pointed at us- but we will try our best. and we do try our best. we also, have far more faith in the intelligence and dedication of the people that believe in us to think that they will be swayed easily. if you want to hear other stories of how we actually talk about our fans or think of them please ask other bands, they will testify to how we really act. we just want you to know that in four years when noone cares, we still hope you are thereim not going to freak out or whatever, but please an attack on our fans or our relationship with them as a p.r. move is uncalled for.

this doesn't need to be reposted anywhere- i am sure that fob fans know where to find it.

chris if you want to talk the phone line is there.

i wrote this pretty fast so i apologize for the typos and run-ons.

until then, thank you to everyone who reserves judgment and has my back until the end of time.

- petey

#i needed this for a big fob lore archive me and some friends are making #i will post it here too once it’s completed #heychris #pete wentz #fall out boy #fob #mikey way #livejournal

[just-liaa-01]

Is blogging still relevant in the age of TikTok and Instagram?

Hello Tumblr people! Have any of you ever thought about the issue I outlined above? Have you guys thought is blogging still useful in this day and age where are TikTok and Instagram popular on the internet nowadays? Well, in my point of view, blogging is still relevant in the era where TikTok and Instagram widely used, and it is also continues to be a platform for content creator to create and share their information. Despite this, it has changed significantly since it was established.

Have you ever thought ‘What is Blog?’

Well, I am one of the few people who doesn’t know anything about blogging too at first. Lets get in to the history of blog first. Swarthmore College student Justin Hall is credited with creating the first blog, Links.net, in 1994. However, it was not considered a blog at the time... Simply a personal webpage.

Then, in 1997, Jorn Barger, blogger for Robot Wisdom, the term “weblog”, which was meant to describe his process for “logging the web” as he surfed the internet. The term “weblog” was simplified to “blog” in 1999, by programmer Peter Merholz. A blog was originally a personal online log or diary where someone could share information or their views on many different kinds of topics. The information was provided in reverse chronological order, with the most recent post appearing first. A blog is now a frequently updated website or web page that can be used for personal or professional purposes.

While the rise of social media has caused some to declare that blogging is no longer relevant, the truth is that blogging is very much alive and well. There are more blogs than ever before on topics ranging from fashion and travel to politics and entertainment.

Nowadays, blog is mostly used by blogger to share their content, idea, and new information that they get with others. Media flexibility is one of the key points why I personally think that blogging is relevant in this age of TikTok and Instagram. As we all know, Instagram and TikTok support photo and video format only while blog can have a mix of text, image, videos and everything in it. As a result, blogs may be utilized to transmit the message much more efficiently by using numerous media types. With blog the blogger have more control over your platform's design and functionality.

Other than that, for people in business, blogging may be a strong marketing tool. They can market their goods or product through blog post for their client or consumers to stay up to date with their product updates. Blogging is an important component of any digital marketing strategy; it may boost leads by 67% and generate up to 97% more connections to your website. Visitors are drawn in by entertaining blogs that are well-written and give useful information. An amount of 61% of web users in the United States have purchased something after reading a blog. Bloggers can acquire the trust of their audience by continuously generating quality material that answers common issues and delivers credible information. Customers are more willing to conduct business with brands they trust, which can increase conversions and revenue.

Blogging can also boost your creativity and also sharp your critical thinking. To add on, it can also help people better their personal and professional life by sparking fresh ideas, discovering new perspectives, and thinking outside the box. But back to it again, every social media platform has it owns advantage.

With that said, what are your thoughts? Is blogging still relevant, or has it lost its fame?

#mda20009 #week 4 #education #digital community #blog #tiktok #instagram

[c-0-r-3-y]

Hello, how are you? If it's not too much trouble could I please request a Wrench x trans male reader? I've scoured the internet and haven't found one. Any premise and thank you if you do it

Hi!! Im doing okay!! Its never to much trouble, as a trans dude, i find it kinda upsetting that there are absolutely nothing for us!!! This might be a tad bit self indulgent but anyways, here we go!

YOUR BEAUTY NEVER EVER SCARED ME

WRENCH X TRANS!MALE READER

warnings : Fluff, Slight Angst, Wrench being a sweetheart, FEELINGS. SO. MUCH FEELINGS. Man look, y'all are just <3.

You and Wrench sat around the wooden table that sat infront of the tv in the hackerspace. Your favorite blanket wrapped around your body as the two of you watched some random movie and ate pizza. The rest of the gang had went out to either complete some small operation that they could take care of themselves or they just wanted to go off and do their own thing.

However, you weren't watching thr movie. You were watching Wrenchs movements and how he acted right then. Little did he know, you had a bunch of pent up feelings for him. Your little heart working overtime as you tried to rack your thoughts and maybe even try to let him know about these feelings. There was one thing though, none of dedsec know you were trans! Sitara had her suspensions but she wasnt going to accuse someone of being trans. You know the gang wouldnt hate you for it but you definitely hadnt had good experiences with telling people about it.

You were lost in your own thoughts, not realizing Wrench now sitting infront of you with his head tilited. "Y/N..? Earth to the boy on the moon? Y/N?" Wrenchs voice was echoed in your thought filled head before you finally blinked a few times. Oh. OH. HE WAS TALKING TO YOU. "W-what? What do you want?" You mumbled as you gently pushed wrenchs face away from your own, you could feel your cheeks start to burn from either embarrassment or the thoughts about being close to Wrench. "Want this last piece of pizza?" He asked with a soft chuckle before nodding towards the lone slice. Of course you wanted it! But at the same time you didnt want to move, you didnt have a binder on and you were already way too nervous. "Uh..no, its okay. Go ahead, mask boy" you joked before getting more comfortable in the blanket, covering yourself more. Wrench only shrugged, he wasnt oblivious..he just didnt have much to go on. He did notice the blushing and subtle flirting but also it all could be coincidental.

Wrench had his own feelings to try to understand too. He absolutely adored you, your voice..just everything about you. He wanted to tell you but he didnt like the thought of rejection. I mean who does. He decided he would think about all of this later, when you wernt sitting right next to him.

The masked man didnt realize you were looking at him yet, your cheeks a reddish color and your hand inching towards his own. When he did realize, he looked at you and smiled under his mask. Oh..oh you liked him. Wrench couldnt help but to laugh a little bit before laying his own hand on yours. "Wanna confess seomthing, pretty?" He asked as he leaned back a small bit and fixed his mask so that it was covering his full face. You couldnt help but to stutter for a second before nodding.

"Yeah, i uhm..i like you alot, wrench. I mean how can i not! Look at you.." you mumbled before sighing before looking the opposite way, somewhat nervous. Wrench however had slowly taken off his mask and placed it on the table before pulling you towards him. "You sure, pretty? You like someone like me?" He softly teased before placed his hand on your cheek, you couldn't do anything but nod. With that he pressed a small kiss to your cheek before pulling away from you. Thats when you had to tell him about you being trans. A secret for a secret.

"I like and trust you so much..that i would like to tell you something. Im trans. Female to male, that kinda thing. I havent told anyone but you and if thats a deal breaker..then fine" you explained as you kind of sank into himself and looked down at your lap. "I guessed so. I still adore you, Y/N. Look at you, so pretty. Everything about you, to your eyes to your feet. If you can like me..when this-" he motioned towards his eye "then surely youre more then loveable" he explained before pulling you towards him again and pressing a kiss against your lips. "Want to try this out? Me and you?"

"Of course, Reggie"

#wrench x male reader #wrench watch dogs #x reader #x male reader #wrench #watch dogs 2 #reggie blechman

[dawnleafs]

Shark Infested Waters

I consider myself a fairly quiet person who has an aversion to conflict. But at a point in my life, being on edge and getting into conflict was all I'd ever known. I once had a friend. A dearly beloved friend. A friend whom I was willing to give the world for. A friend I was glad to have by my side, because I believed I had no one else. Because I thought I had no other choice. It was either him, or no one. And I didn't want to be friends with no one. I didn't want to be alone. No matter how much I deluded myself into thinking I could be fine alone. And yet. It was with this so-called friend I had never truly been more alone my entire life.

While the years have long passed by and I am busy juggling much more important, adulthood manners, I keep finding my mental state fixated on this point of time in my life. This time in my life in which I was a young high schooler who just wanted friends, but struggled to find solace among my peers. So naturally, like the huge ass loser I was, I turned to the internet. And it was in my countless days of lurking about the internet and slipping into spaces I probably had no real reason ever being on, with people coming and going in my life, I met him. FutureDiarist, SharkDiaries, SharkYGO, whatever the ever-loving FUCK this dude goes by nowadays. Skylar is his name. And having a friend like him? Who needs enemies?

I had written about him once before on a past blog. Through some… Shenanigans, shall we say, that post had been lost to time. Not even trying to access the post through the waybackmachine yields feasible results. But like the scars in my memory, I hadn't forgotten to keep a backup. Do I have horrible coping mechanisms for my anxiety and trauma? Probably. But I don't want to be quiet about this. Not anymore. For how much Skylar and his current boyfriend may want to "leave things behind", it's not so easy for me nor any of the others who have been hurt. For as long as this keeps haunting me, I'll haunt back.

Every now and again I find myself relapsing, after going so long just living like a half-normal functioning adult, my mental health takes a nose dive. Everything's going nice and dandy, but then suddenly, it hits me. And whenever thinking about Skylar is at the forefront of my stress, I can't help but wonder how lucky and how stupid I must be. When I am reminded of him, I just spiral into a smoldering rage. It just keeps coming back, no matter how many times I block his accounts, mute things even related to his interests that trigger those memories, the anger just keeps coming back. The pain of having someone I thought was my one and only friend in a hostile cruel world when he was perhaps the worst person I could have possibly had as a friend.

I was just a lonely high-schooler willing to spend time with anyone who would be with me. He took advantage of my naivety and loneliness. I was so blind to his methods of manipulation, as an impressionable, desperate kid who longed for somebody to connect with. And connect we did. Roleplaying, video games, just chatting. It was probably early 2011, maybe earlier. While a bit standoffish and childish at times, Skylar was still someone I considered my closest friend. We roleplayed on chatango, roleplayed on tumblr, chatted over Skype. However, things were a bit… Off. He was clingy, sure. A little too overbearing at times. But what took things too far was how passive aggressive he was. How he, whether he realized it or not, demanded all my attention.

With regards to roleplay, he would occasionally pivot to questions of a sexually charged nature. Being the dumb young teen I was, there were times I fed right into it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, just the thrill of sharing another common interest with my supposed friend. But there were times where he was very guilt-trippy about it. Like I owed him something. Like it wasn't something we just did every now and then for the fun of it, but something he deserved, something I had to provide at his beck and call. And when I didn't give him his way? Or if there were times I was too busy to even respond within a timely manner? He would turn on a dime and berate me in ways most vile. Acting like I was ghosting him intentionally and threatening to harm himself just to get my attention… Or egging me on to enable my suic-dal ideation. He knew I struggled with thoughts of self h-rm and suic-de and ENCOURAGED me to go through with it. I had come so close to pulling through with it, too. He really messed me up. He shattered my trust with just about anyone following that time. I still shudder thinking that I applied to the same college he was attending at the time, and wonder if I would even still be alive if I had gone through with it.

As if it wasn't bad enough, this man, Skylar liked creating sock puppet accounts. By the dozen. Hundreds, maybe. Who knows? He'd put on a persona and pretend it was someone else, but hindsight is 20/20. It's so painfully obvious that he pretends to be other people, it's so obvious that he pretends to stage anonymous hate mail being sent his way, it's so painfully clear that he tries every which way to paint himself out to be the victim, because he can't fathom the idea of having genuine friendships built off of trust rather than lies and deceit. I recall one time, when my tumblr RP phase was hitting hard, he accidentally sent me a message logged into the wrong account.

Skylar flipped out, when this account I wasn't even sure was him, turned out to be him on an alt. He repeatedly insisted I delete the post and speak of it to nobody. Because yeah. I'm sure he'd want to sweep that one under the rug, when that same account he'd use to harass other users in that community circle of roleplay could be tied back to him. He'd also probably like for me to forget about the time he needled and prodded me for some fanfiction between his self insert character and some League of Legends character. Or how often he roleplays. With himself. On different accounts. And I'm sure he'd like for me to forget when he even claimed one of his sock puppet accounts died of cancer. Or how his sock puppet accounts on skype were conveniently not logged in at the same time until I showed him a video tutorial to have multiple Skype clients open at once.

I'd love to log back into my skype account and skim through the chat logs for some real bangers of shitty behavior he's pulled through, or even the chatango logs, but I can only imagine they're lost to time and at some point it's not even worth the agony anymore. I don't even have my laptop from back then on hand anymore.

And now as I look into myself and the person I've grown up to be since those days in my high school years I just can't help but shake the feeling that I am no better than he is, that I'm more like him than I realize, that I'm not a good person either. And I strive every day to be the best me I can be and shake off my horrific attitude. I know I'm no saint, I know I've had my moments of being a downright prick, but I keep having these nagging thoughts that I'm just like him that I deserved him with every selfish bone of my body, that being the puppet under his control was the universe's way of punishing me for being just as vile deep down to my core. And when I think I've taken back control of my life and he has no hold over my feelings anymore it just keeps burning and burning until I turn green in the face from nausea. The pain just isn't going away.

He wants to move on so bad yet he hasn't truly held himself accountable nor shown any real sign of changing.

So Skylar, keep complaining about your past catching up to you. Keep complaining about your bans or account deletions on wherever you crawled into. I'm so sorry you couldn't afford an ounce of human decency to your dear friend. And I'm so sorry I got into drawing art AFTER we were friends. I'm sure you would have loved taking advantage of that just as much as you enjoyed taking advantage of other artists. How you'd love to beg for free art but then in the same breath decry those who get close to artists for free art. I'm quite sorry indeed. He can speak in fruitful platitudes about how he wants to leave the past behind but he can't ever truly change because his behavior shows me he feels no remorse for what he has done, simply that he has no more direct control of those he's victimized. But in a way, he still has a less direct control with how I can't let go of the pain that haunts me. How because of him, I'm less trustful of everyone I call a friend. Because of him, I feel like I have to put on a fake smile and pretend everything is okay. Because of him, I feel guilty of wanting to spend time with those I care with. Because of him, I am constantly reminded that I am not as smart as I believed I was.

Trying to add me on discord after I made my first "callout post" and then trying to befriend me when I told him to his face I despised him, that sure was amusing at the time. I'm pretty sure he deleted that account by now. But he sure is a piece of work for thinking I would ever forget what he's done. If I were to ever forgive him, it wouldn't be for his sake, but my own. I'm still hurting from all this, after all. I still struggle at night with believing that I'm not good enough, that I deserve everything wrong going on. But no. He's truly, beyond toxic. An abuser through and through.

All the people I've seen, saying that they too went through some shit because of him, only makes me regret not saying anything in the first place. Especially while everything was fresh in my mind, and not just tear-stained memories of a friendship that could have been. I'm in a much better place now than ever, even if I do struggle sometimes. Skylar once said that he was so tired of my self-pity that he would beat the shit out of me until I smiled. Well, now I can smile without that childish threat looming over my head.

I do not condone encouraging anyone to inflict self h-rm upon themselves. It's beyond despicable. Harassing Skylar is no better than the bullshit he's inflicted upon myself and many others. It would take some kind of miracle for this grown manchild to truly realize how rotten he had been and make a change for the better. Because he never has, and likely never will.

It's up to you to determine if you think I'm a trustworthy narrator. If you're reading this far, you either scrolled all the way to the end to get some tl;dr on this bullshit, or you might be humoring the idea that I have something worthwhile to say. I'm really just venting and rambling in circles about my thoughts in the passing years since burning bridges.

#futurediarist #sharkdiaries #with love and spite #your old dear friend Lillian #please do better :)

[theninthdoor]

jay || career update; tarot reading

To be honest, I wasn't sure if I should do this reading now, given what happened a couple of days ago (the history thing). All I could pick up on was the incident + what's happening behind the scenes because of it, and nothing else. After some consideration, though, I decided to move forward with it, since I knew some people would be asking about this issue and how Jay's dealing with it. So, here it is… A couple of weeks from now I might take another look at it and see if he has anything else going on, but this is all we've got for the moment.

⭒ Present of his career:

cards: four of swords, page of pentacles reversed (eight of cups), three of wands

Although there are plans being made and action being taken, he's not directly involved in any of that, for the time being, at least. Instead, he seems to be taking some time off to rethink his currents goals and efforts, as some mistakes have been made due to foolishness and irresponsibility from his part. Honestly, there's not a lot to be said here besides: he made a mistake; they told him to stay out of the spotlight for a while; he's not really working much these days. However, there are plans for some future project (perhaps a group comeback), and he's still being considered for that! Given the circumstances, the company is most likely putting in a little extra effort just to make sure they get the best results possible, the public is happy, and everything goes back to normality.

⭒ How he’s feeling about it:

cards: the sun reversed, two of cups reversed, queen of cups (the temperance)

Jay's feeling a mix of embarassment and confusion. He's finding it hard to see the bright side of the situation he's currently in; he doesn't see how he can ever recover completely from this. I do feel like he's apologetic for not being more careful and thoughtful with his words, but, at the same time, he feels like people didn't even try to understand his point of view and went straight into attacking him. He's also probably dealing with some scolding from his company, and they may be painting his future a little murkier that what it might actually turn out to be like. I also feel like, while things don't seem great right now, he's trusting that his fans will have his back and will keep supporting him, thus allowing him to continue on with his activities relatively smoothly when it all goes back to normal. He might even be lurking on the internet to find some reassuring messages or posts that will keep him going, and that will confirm to him that he hasn't yet lost total fan support.

⭒ What he sees for the future of his career:

cards: five of pentacles (four of swords), nine of pentacles, the hermit reversed (five of cups)

I think we can expect him to be a little more discreet going forward. He will be avoiding speaking out of turn, and will perhaps even prefer to stick more to the background during group interviews, livestreams, etc. To be able to recover from this (publicly), Jay knows that he has to really show people that he is apologetic and has done some serious introspection and learning about the topic (these could be things that his company has told him to do, too). Still, before he's able to comeback at full steam, he will have to take some time off for a little longer. Or, at least, he will have to avoid calling attention to himself, to give people time to forget about this + so they don't think he's completely thoughtless. And, while he's worried that they will force him to stay out of activities and, consequently, make him lose some money or good job opportunities, he's not thinking that this incident will ruin his whole career. He still sees financial security, a stable career, etc., but some damage control has to be done first. Again, he's trusting the fans' loyalty and understanding to allow him to continue on with his activities as normal.

(Also, I must say: this doesn't mean that he's staying out of activities! This is only what he's thinking might happen, not what the company is actually considering doing.)

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

#enhypen tarot #kpop tarot #enhypen jay #enhypen jay tarot #enhypen

[rubykgrant]

(Simmons in his interview with Andrews, where he explains he’s trying to be nicer... but then accidentally goes into a rant about how ANNOYING everybody is)

“It’s weird. I’m still not used to actually having this many friends,” Simmons admitted.

“… would you be offended if I asked how many friends you had before, when you were younger?” Andrews has seen lots of old footage in which Simmons had been made fun of, sometimes for his lack of social skills, and the assumption this meant he had no friends. If this was too sore a subject, she’d just skip it. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder what he had been like “before”. What had they all been like before…

“Basically zero,” he answered, not with much bitterness, mostly just a sense of boredom. “I still don’t know how to just- hang out. With people. And then there’s the fact that the people I hang out with the most are like THAT,”

“Like what?” she was basically pulling a pin on a metaphorical grenade.

“You know, you’ve met them! Like… like Caboose, and every time he inexplicably found a dangerous alien life-form or inanimate object, and attempted to keep it as a pet, including a big block of uranium that he named ‘Stacy-Louise’ for some reason! Or Donut, who thinks he’s all fancy and stylish, but when he decides to DECORATE, everything he touches turns into a disaster! Or Tucker, who leaves dirty magazines just WHEREVER, and when those get lost or tossed, he tries to print random pictures from the internet, which evidently makes all the computers get hit with every virus that has ever existed! Or Wash, who you’d think was at his worst when he had his villain moment, but no, it’s when he thinks he can boss everybody around outside of battle, he actually tried to lecture me once while eating cold macaroni and cheese for BREAKFAST! Or Doc, who just goes through all my pens and folders and REARRANGES them however he wants… also, O’Malley takes all the new pens and chews on them! Or Grif’s sister Kai, she knows I’m afraid of snakes, so she got a package of little plastic toy ones, and stuck them under my blankets in my bed and all over my towels in the bathroom! Or Carolina, she drinks RIGHT OUT OF THE JUICE CARTON, she just stands there with fridge door open and chugs the juice that is SUPPOSED to be for everybody to share, and she knows I can’t call her on it because she can pretty much flick me and I’ll fly across the room! Or Lopez, who always changes the seat adjustments on every vehicle we use, and only when I sit right behind him, so I don’t have any leg space! Or SARGE, just EVERYTHING with Sarge, his latest trip is- because red pandas exist, he decided regular raccoons must be ‘blue pandas’, which is incorrect for several reasons, and he makes me stay up all night trying to catch them on camera to prove they’re plotting against him! Or-or…”

Simmons suddenly came to an abrupt stop. He cleared his throat, while Andrews let an amused hum of soft laughter escape.

“But, hey! I’m not perfect either, nobody is, right? Haha, right! And like I said, I have some issues. Which I am working on!”

#red vs blue #rvb #dick simmons #rvb fic

[aajjks]

uh oh, alina 👀

mommy issues!JK

today was a good day. your kids got to solve math problems using puzzle pieces and practiced their tracing just as you planned. it’s rare that everything falls into place when it comes to your school schedule, but today, everything did. seol had an amazing day and received a gold sticker for his behavior and areum went home early because alina got off work early. long story short, everything was perfect and now you’re at the grocery store shopping at the whole foods section for ingredients to make kimchi gumbo. you saw it on the internet and had to make it yourself.

during all this shopping, you’re on the phone listening to alina rant about her day and occasionally fussing at eunwoo and areum for being too loud. you can’t help but laugh at your friend’s bluntness sometimes because alina does not hesitate to fuss at eunwoo because he’s either being loud, annoying, or both.

the dynamic you have with alina is nice. you don’t have a lot of friends but it’s not like you chased after friendship. the only reason you and alina are so close is because of your relationship to her daughter but what was once a parent-teacher thing soon become a sisterhood thanks to alina forcing you out of your shell.

however, it’s time to put this sisterhood to the test because eunwoo has tasked his beloved wife with convincing you to come to the parting dinner. of course alina is aware of jungkook’s obvious crush on you and to help her husband’s friend (and maybe you too), she gets straight to the point and asks you about the dinner.

“listen, i was wondering if you’ll be there for the parting dinner?”

“parting dinner?” you say, searching through your memory bank about someone mentioning a parting dinner.

“you know? the one jungkook told you about?”

and there it is..

“ohh!! yeah, i’m not going alina. i’m sorry”

“no no no! you have to come—as his plus one! please, i’ll be so bored without you. eunwoo will be with his friends and i hate socialites”

“plus one? wait, slow down alina” you sigh “listen, no. i can’t. his ex-wife or whatever is going to be there and you know i don’t like drama. i’m sure he already asked someone to be his date already”

“then i’ll talk to jungkook too!”

“did jungkook put you up to this or something? how did you even know jungkook asked me—“

“nope, i don’t know anything. you either come to the dinner or i won’t ever talk to you again!”

you pause.

“are you being serious?”

“yes i am. i really need you to be there, y/n”

you don’t say anything because you’re starting to think jungkook put alina up to this and let’s just say, you don’t find it funny at all. when you said no, it was because you felt uncomfortable about your presence being there. you weren’t mean or nasty about it, you were honest and you thought jungkook respected that but now, this is pushing it.

why didn’t he just ask you again at the school when he came to pick seol up?

“hello? y/n?”

“……yeah?”

“are you okay? you got quiet over there”

“sorry ‘bout that. lost in thought”

“soooo are you coming?”

“alina…i love you but no”

“whyyyy”

“why? i already told him no and he got you to convince me to say yes”

“what? no! no no no—“

“then how did you know about me and jungkook? i know i didn’t tell you, so where did you get it from?”

what will alina do now?

~🫧

Should she tell her the truth and fuck up his chances of being with you? You should lose up a little and you need to date again, but she cannot force you to do that.

She sighs, it’s hard to argue with you, because your friendship means a lot to her, and she doesn’t like confrontations. So she’s rubbing her temple as she goes silence for a moment.

“Uh… my husband told me. Listen, I’m not trying to push you or anything but it’s not a bad thing to come there as his date? he doesn’t have an ex-wife, and Nara won’t really be a problem.” She sighs, you can be a little stubborn, but she’s willing to take it slow.

“it’ll be really fun and we could hang out together too and I don’t think he realized but it’s kind of obvious that he likes you.” Maybe this was a dumb move but you need to realize that he’s got some feelings for you.

And maybe then you’ll give him a chance? but it’s a possibility that you might start avoiding him as well.

How can she make you realize that he’s not that bad as you’re thinking and you don’t have to be so cautious around him? But she cannot blame your protective nature because of your past experience experiences.

“I know I know what I’m saying is really weird and he is your students father but- he’s liked you for quite some time.. I’m not really the one to tell you anything but eunwoo And I were literally coworkers, but we got married didn’t we? I’m not saying that you have to love him or marry him, but it would be nice to give him a chance.”

Please, you have to agree. Because she will feel really bad about herself if she doesn’t get you to agree. Jungkook really does deserve a shot. He deserve to be happy and she’s sure he can make you happy.

“I was honest with you and I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable, but I know him personally and.. that guy deserves to be happy too, but your happiness matters the most to me.” She’s not really trying to butter you up because this is the truth.

Alina wants you to be happy. But she cannot do anything if you don’t want to.

“it’s not like you have to date him? you should just go on a dinner with him and get it over with? You should definitely do this if you can because he doesn’t have a date and he likes you.” She is trying to give this one last shot.

“he was even honest with you about his past. I don’t think that he’s a red flag and that you need to be cautious, yn.” Oh, this is intense.

“Well, this is gonna be your decision though… you can think about this and let me know. But I’m pretty sure that he’s going to ask you again..”

#ask: mi!jk #dude being the middle man is so scary #🫧 anon

[kafus]

Anon for my safety <3 I have DID as well prof diagnosed, and reading your posts hit home. It hurts so badly when I see kids who were similarly abused and developed a literal last resort disorder just to survive, only to be called “cringe” and “attention seeker” when they genuinely seek help. God forbid a trauma victim find joy in life, you must suffer forever in order to be valid.

Me and my host are in a dedicated relationship with eachother, we love each other so openly and emotionally in a way you can’t feel with a “real” (/s )relationship. Our minds are forever intertwined, our existence built on abuse and terror no child should ever receive. And yet, in midst of all the chaos, the lost time, the confusion, we learn that loving each other is loving ourselves, and I would have it no other way.

the love for her is healing for me, it is a reminder that we live and we love, that we are not broken and insane as the media portrays us. There is something so domestic about it, and perhaps we are even saving money on the grocery bill. The situation is not ideal, the circumstances are not great, but being alive, even as nothing more than an “alter” as all and everything I could have ever asked for.

I hope that ever person who similarly suffers as we did seeks help and receives gentle and tender care. As much as I would like to pretend, we are still ill and must still fight the demons of trauma that were imposed on us. This disorder is not an easy one, but it is not a curse either. Let your alters know you love them, appreciate them for the memories they hold, similar to yourself. When you care for them, you care for you.

i am not as eloquent about the subject of in-system dating in public spaces such as tumblr because i. have been notably hurt over it before. so i am awkward. however i wanted to thank you a lot for sending this message because i don't think i've ever actually felt like someone Understands the seriousness of my relationship and the... specific kind of love that emerges from dating an alter, someone who is both you and not you and who intimately knows you in your actual darkest moments and who only exists because of those memories. someone you change from being forced to spend your life with and instead choose to spend your life with. someone who embodies healing from the worst of trauma. the sort of love that is both loving another and learning to love yourself. Overcoming. Living. etc. so thank you for helping me/us feel Seen today tbh. all my posts this morning were spawned from a nightmare i had last night and it was really ruining my mood today but this cheered me up a little bit.

like you said DID is not easy and the situation is definitely not ideal but it is not a curse, it's proof that we survived. learning to love and care for your alters is learning to love yourself and all the fragmented parts of you. anyone who is suffering with this hell deserves the care and assistance to be able to get to a point where there is joy and it's not nothing but constant suffering. not people on the internet further shoving them away from recovery and telling them they're wrong for wanting to experience joy and not hate themselves for eternity. it is so pessimistic to believe that people with DID will never be happy. it is hard to be happy but it is possible! we make the best of it even when it fucking sucks!! that's survival babey!!!

idk how clearly i worded this sorry if anything came off a little weird i am super switchy and disoriented today actually </3 but hopefully what i was trying to say came thru anyways

#asks #anonymous #kiki was here

[dreamypurplesky]

So I wrote a letter for my ex best friend who doesn't want to talk to me anymore for reasons best known to him. I never post anything I write because that makes me feel vulnerable and I hate it. But this time I figured that if there's even a slightest chance of this letter reaching him, it's through the internet and not in the depths of my notes app. So I'm baring my soul to strangers by putting this out there, please treat it kindly.

A letter to my dearest friend.

Yes, you heard it right. You're my dearest friend even if we don't talk anymore. Actually, that doesn't change anything at all, nothing can. You'll always be my dearest friend. Suck it up. I'm writing this because I'm starting to forget you and it scares the shit out of me. I was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, reminiscing our time together - like I've done countless nights so far. More specifically, I was trying to piece together a poem about you in which I needed to list a few things that you like. My mind went blank for a brief moment. That's not good. I used to be able to instantly say that you liked music, making music. You also liked playing basketball and training in jiu-jitsu and programming. You liked looking up at the stars. You liked talking about philosophical stuff and you liked photography. That was what brought us closer in the first place. You liked working out and you liked mangoes. This is just me panicking and noting down everything I remember about you so if it ever starts to fade away, I can come back here to retain my memory. You also liked me. Oh, how could I ever forget that? You were probably the first person who ever actually liked me. I never thought I'd have to try so hard not to forget you. Our memories have claw marks on them from me holding on too tight. But I guess it was stupid of me to expect this to last forever. I mean, the world was in lockdown when we met so we were just two kids who had plenty of time to kill. Looking back, it probably didn't mean anything more than that to you. Or did it? I don't know. The way you moved on so easily tells me my guess is correct. However, it was very real for me. It was more than just a friendship developed out of boredom. You showed me who I really am, taught me how to value myself, and left me with so many beautiful moments to cherish. I've always told everyone I've met after you that there can never be another guy like you. I adore you, I really do. And it has got me fucked up. I'm out here stalking your Linkedin, for fuck's sake, like someone who has lost their goddamn mind. You've got a girlfriend and a big boy job and all, why would you bother to engage with a sad girl you met online who wrote poems about you? I understand your decision. I'll always understand. I promised, remember? Nothing you do will ever be looked down upon by me.

Tumhari narazagi bhi hume qubool hai,

kyuki vo tumhari hai.

Or jo tumhara hai,

vo mujhe sabse pyaara hai.

(Even your abandonment is accepted by me, as it is yours. And what's yours, is the dearest to me)

I wake up in the middle of the night and frantically check my discord to see if, perhaps, a miracle occurred that made you text. I always go back to sleep disheartened. But it's okay, I don't blame any of it on you. In fact, I'm grateful that I even got to know you. And I'm so pissed at myself for letting you go that first time. I am sorry for taking you granted. Your birthday's coming up soon and as much as I want to wish you, I don't want you to think I'm some desperate creep, even though I am. So I'll just write a note on The Unsent Project and console myself. If this message ever reaches you av, know that you can always come back to me. Even if it's 50 years later and the world is ending. I'll always wait to hear from you again.

#letter to my best friend #poetry #poets and writers #writers on tumblr #childhood best friend #lost friendship #sad as fuck #i miss you #grieving #poets on tumblr #sad poem #sad poetry #writerscommunity #creative writing #losing friends #literature #this is painful #urdu lines #words #friendship breakup #losing someone #on loss #on friendship #friendship #best friends #platonic #platonic soulmates #dealing with grief #platonic love #i miss him so bad it hurts