#hp incorrect quotes
*James and Sirius being James and Sirius*
Remus: You know that saying that goes ‘some things are better left unsaid’? I wish some people were better left unmet.
James: That felt like it was directed towards us
Sirius: It was.
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Mcgonagall: And what do we say when life disappoints us?
Remus: Called it.
Sirius: As the prophecy foretold...
Peter: Snape did it.
James: Time to fist fight a god.
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Snape: *tapping quill*
McGonagall: *tapping quill*
Umbridge: Stop it.
Snape: Stop what?
Umbridge: You're talking about me in morse code, joke's on you because I know morse code. Ha!
McGonagall: Yeah, that's what we're doing. In our very limited time and busy schedule. We went out and took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication so we can talk about you, in front you.
Snape: That's exactly what we did.
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Ginny: why is my phone broken?
Harry: *sipping coffee* you were drunk last night
Harry: you turned on airplane mode and threw the phone out the window while screaming "FLY DAMN YOU!"
Harry: so yeah
Ginny: eh, makes sense
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james: guys, i just found a new drug
james: it's called "your relationship" and i'm high on it
*remus & sirius cuddling on a sofa in the common room, both staring at james*
remus: james, i'm gonna need you to back off
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anyway enjoy this messy comic where everyone gets exactly what they deserve❤
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Draco, with great delight: Oh, Harry is going to hate this.
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Draco : Why are there little hand prints all over the walls ?
Harry to scorpius : Why are there little hand prints over the walls ?
Scorp, beckons Harry closer and whispers : Because I have little hands
Harry turns to Draco : Because he has little hands
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Lily : What does Remus love ?
James : His books.
Peter : And chocolates.
Sirius : Once, we bought him a book about chocolates and he almost collapsed from the excitement.
Remus : I hate you all
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Harry [after almost getting himself killed yet again]: Hey, Snape. What’s up?
Snape[signature sneer]: What’s up is my blood pressure, Potter.
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Remus, dropping a mug on the ground and shattering it: ah fuck me!
Sirius, taking off his shirt: well if you insist
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Sirius: I once heard someone say that coffins become underground maracas during earthquakes. If that’s the case, what is a mausoleum?
Remus: A nightmare for whoever is in there visiting.
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- on 1 IX 1971 -
James: *points at Sirius, Remus and Peter* These people are my best friends.
James: I've known them for twelve hours.
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*The Marauders finally achieve their Animagus forms*
Remus: Since when do you have a pet goldfish?
James: Careful, that's your boyfriend you're talking about.
Remus: Why doesn't he change back?
James: I think he forgot. You know, memory of a goldfish.
*later that day, Remus receives a letter*
I tricked James into thinking I'm a goldfish. I'm hiding out in the Hog's Head while I see how long he'll lug that bowl to class.
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Hermione: *looking at the Marauders map* oh hey look Harry and Ginny are together again
Ron: show me show me now
Hermione: *sees that they're both going into a broom cupboard* *closes map* uh lunch is starting we should go
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Narcissa you absolute icon
more incorrect quotes
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Bill: You say "please" and "thank you" in front of your younger siblings all the time and they never repeat it.
Bill: But when you say "fuck" ONCE—
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Harry : Ok all matters aside...If I was the last person on Earth would you fuck me ?
Draco : Potter, if you were the last person on Earth, I wouldn't exist
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In the afterlife
Regulus: I heard Sirius is in Azkaban, is that true?
James: Yeah, for something he didn't do.
Regulus: What didn't he do?
James: Run fast enough.
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