cluster b culture is not really knowing how to comfort people and just defaulting to a couple phrases but also feeling like you know whats best for them
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giving love to trauma survivors whose trauma made them harder, detached and insensitive.
giving love to trauma survivors whose trauma made them friendlier, more open and loud.
giving love to trauma survivors whose trauma made them paranoid and aggressive.
giving love to trauma survivors whose trauma made them kinder, softer and more sensitive.
giving love to trauma survivors whose trauma made them lose guilt, shame, or empathy.
giving love to trauma survivors whose trauma made them gain more guilt, shame, or empathy.
you are all valid.
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Shout out to people with heavily demonized mental illnesses and symptoms, you aren’t bad, you aren’t evil, you aren’t a burden. And I really hope you get support systems that work for you and uplift you.
People with ASPD, NPD, BPD HPD aren’t evil, abusive, or monsters.
People with psychosis aren’t violent or aggressive.
People with DID aren’t murderers.
People with little or no empathy aren’t cruel or evil.
You’re good people, people who deserve love, compassion, and care. People who deserve proper treatment and help from people who genuinely understand how these things effect you.
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The statement "your mental illness does not define whether you are good or bad" goes both ways. It does not make you an abuser to be mentally ill, and it does not make you broken. At the same time, mental illness is not an excuse to hurt people, abuse people, or take accountability off of yourself.
If your response to someone being mentally ill is to assume they are evil, you are throwing mentally ill people under the bus. On the flipside, if your response to being called out on shitty behavior is to say you can't help it because of mental illness, you are not truly taking accountability for your own actions.
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doing nice things for people for attention or praise is okay. it’s okay to have another motive behind what you’re doing. you still added kindness to the world. you still tried and did your best and i’m proud of you! kindness is hard and confusing when you were never exposed to it!! cheers to everyone trying to be kind in a body that rejects that very notion.
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Mental health advocacy that does not include mental illnesses besides depression and anxiety is incomplete.
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Honestly, healing from chronic / childhood trauma isn’t pretty, it isn’t romantic, most of the time it isn’t some beautiful story of a perfectly innocent victim rising to become strong
A lot of healing from chronic / childhood trauma is realizing there is a lot of dirt, grime, hurt, pain, and problematic behaviors and beliefs that living in such an environment has instilled inside of you.
It is realizing a lot of things you thought were normal were not, and a lot of the things you’ve done that you thought were given truths and normal things about the world were false, not needed, and hurtful to others and yourself around you.
A lot of people want a healing story that is inspiring and beautiful - with a clear abuser and a clear victim - someone who was clearly 100% perfect, innocent and never did anything wrong in life and someone who was clearly 100% evil, intentional, corrupt, and malicious. The hero / villian story of trauma, abuse, and recovery is so much easier to digest both for others and the person, but the reality is - living through hell instills and causes people to learn things that aren’t 100% perfect and innocent.
No trauma survivor or victim deserves what happened to them, nor did they ask for it in any form, but it isn’t abnormal for one to unknowingly after growing up and living in an environment that was dangerous, harmful, and painful to learn things that aren’t the best in the general world.
Trying to heal, mistakes will be made, a lot of unlearning and relearning will happen. People - especially children and teenagers who grew up in these environments - will likely reenact what happened to them or use defensive mechanisms that aren’t the best that they got from assuming the world is like their home.
Many will do things that aren’t “okay” or are “problematic” because that is all they know. This isn’t to say it is okay or excusable. This isn’t to say you should forgive anyone who did this to you.
This is to those who did bad things in the past that they punish themselves for, hate themselves for, the bad things they did due to being young and in a stage of survival.
The past does not define you and you were young and living by what you were taught growing up. You are not a horrible person because of how you learned to live. Who you are is found in the present and the future and in what you do now and what you do later.
You can and deserve to forgive yourself and your younger selves for what had happened when you knew little more.
You aren’t horrible or terrible.
Being young is hard
Being a teen is hard
Having trauma is hard
Having chronic trauma is hard.
Being young and growing up in an environment conducive to chronic trauma is even harder.
You deserve and are allowed to forgive yourself and move forward and heal.
You deserve to heal just like anyone else.
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hot take: not everyone has access to a professional diagnosis. sometimes an educated self-dx is the only way 4 them to try and get better.
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one of the big concepts I learned in therapy that has been fucking revolutionary for me is the concept that sometimes u can just feel feelings and they don't have to mean anything.
like, I can just be sad about something for a little while because it feels cathartic and helpful to let myself be sad, and it doesnt have to mean anything or change how I act or treat people.
like sometimes u just need to feel an emotion in order to process and work through things, and sometimes it just feels good to let urself be sad about a silly or little thing. and then once its out its over, uve experienced it and now it is done so u can move on.
and I dont have to derive greater meaning from it or do anything about it. i was just sad for a few hours and now i feel better and that's all that matters.
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having a rough night like *points at mental illnesses* OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS DOING THIS
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Cluster B & questioning aro-spec culture is “wait do I have a crush on this person or did I just get obsessed with them because they were nice to me once?”
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Instead of saying how people with personality disorders are "pure and perfect" or saying that we're "irredeemably evil", how about you do not attach moral judgements to our mental illnesses.
We are simply people. Please treat us as such.
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Shout out to people who struggle with not only a lack of empathy, but who also struggle with sympathy and compassion.
Shout out to people who are actively choosing to not be mean or manipulative to others despite their brain telling them to whether it be through intrusive thoughts or genuine wants.
Shout out to people who are learning healthy coping mechanisms to make sure they dont hurt the people around them.
Mental illness doesn’t always make you feel like a helpless victim. Sometimes it makes you want to be mean or cruel. It can be terrifying.
But we just have to keep pushing to try and be okay people.
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You’re supportive of people with mental illness but people with autism are weirdos
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but people with psychosis belong in a hospital
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but people with BPD are overdramatic
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but people with PTSD should just get over it
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but people with EDs/SH addiction are just doing it for attention
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but people with ASPD/HPD/NPD are all bad people
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but others have it worse
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but people with ADHD are annoying
You’re supportive of people with mental illness but we’re all crazy
You’re supportive of people with mental illness until it’s an inconvenience to you
if it’s so inconvenient to you, then imagine how we feel.
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Others will say they support people with mental illness and then they’ll see something they don’t perfectly understand or relate to and just
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we NEED to talk about the troubled teen industry whenever we bring up sanism.
since the 70s the industry has been booming. and the abuse coverups get stronger.
people hear about the élan school and are shocked that it happened just decades ago.
but it’s happening now.
this isn’t history.
i was kidnapped from my room when i was 16. i was forced into a car, with plastic cuffs around my wrists, i was forcefully sedated, stripped searched and locked in a room. and that was before the 2 years of abuse began.
i watched a girl get “restrained” and have both of her ankles broken. she was denied medical attention for 2 weeks.
a kid sustained a concussion from a staff. he was locked in his room and denied food until he changed his story. he hit his head falling down the stairs.
please please please care about this.
breaking code silence
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lazy professional misdiagnoses be like
you can’t concentrate, focus or plan? it’s just depression and anxiety. it’s totally not a chance of having ADHD.
you have odd interests and perceive things differently from your peers? you just don’t know how to fit in and your parents raised you wrong. totally not a chance of having autism.
i n v a l i d a t i o n
you’re a man/AMAB and think you have HPD or BPD? nope, it’s gotta be ASPD or NPD because men aren’t emotional.
you’re a woman/AFAB and think you have ASPD or NPD? nope, it’s gotta be BPD or HPD because you’re too soft and emotional.
it’s just anxiety, totally not a chance of having a cluster a or c personality disorder.
you hear others’ voices, see and talk to them and watch them take control and front your body? nope DID doesn’t exist, that’s just insanity or something, time to lock you up in a mental hospital and shoot you up on 40 different drugs.
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Wishing all people with a cluster b personality disorder a plesant evening.
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Saying you're in recovery/recovered from a personality disorder seems to lead to outrageous standards from others and sometimes from ourselves. It doesn't mean you don't experience your disorder anymore. It doesn't mean you don't show symptoms of your disorder anymore. It doesn't mean you won't hurt others. It doesn't mean you won't hurt yourself.
Recovery belongs to us and ourselves only, you are recovered when you have taken your life back from your disorder. You'll still be you and like everyone else you'll still make mistakes, hurting yourself over hurting others is not taking your life back. Don't let others dictate what your recovery looks like and don't hold yourself to unreasonable expectations.
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