Pairing : Suna x Reader
Suna went to practice, like he was supposed to. Training made him forget for a little while. But then, he went back home. His empty and cold apartment. Since the day he casually gave a spare key to Hiromi, it was warm. He remembered that day very clearly. They were supposed to meet each other there but he stayed late for practice, so she waited in the cold until he got back. He gave her a spare key in case it happened again. It didn't happen a lot, so she didn't use it that often, but it was a huge step in their relationship. She grew more and more comfortable to sleep at his place, in his bed. He rarely went to her place. She always said his felt more like home. Was it a lie ?
Was everything a lie ?
No, it couldn't be. After those months, it couldn't be. Maybe he misunderstood her, maybe he imagined what happened in the morning.
He couldn't breathe. His head was hurting and everything was spinning. Soon, he felt like he was out of his own body. Like nothing was real. Like he was lost.
Help. He needed help.
He was trapped in his mind and nobody was here. He lost her, he lost the one he loved.
- Hello ?
He suddenly heard your voice through the phone. The phone ? When did he pick it up ?
- Suna ? you called for him again.
Did you call him ? Or was he the one who called you ?
- Rin ?
Rin. It was you who used to call him that. Her who called him that too. Her voice was so soft, he loved the way it sounded when she said it. He was getting lost again.
You could hear the helplessness in his voice.
- Are you ok ? you asked softly.
- I don't know...
He could barely tell what was real and what was not. Was this morning real ? Were you real ?
- Do you know where you are ?
He was in his apartment. And he was talking to you. It was exactly what his girlfriend complained about. Was it wrong wanting to get to know you again ? Did he do wrong ? All your feelings for him were in the past and all he wanted was for you to stop resenting him. Even though you told him you didn't, he could tell it wasn't totally true. Maybe you stopped resenting him, but at that time, you didn't open the door. It was because he did wrong when you confessed. It was selfish to ask you to stay by his side and even more to text you after leaving you alone for so many months when you were still living in the same town. Even now, you still thought you were giving him space but the truth was that he was scared. Scared of his own feelings, scared of the love he felt for you. It was so much love, it was so strong but it wasn't the way you wanted. He couldn't be the one you wanted.
Could he ever be someone you want as a friend again ? Could he ever be someone anybody want ? Hiromi didn't want him either, she went to someone else. He was alone, it was like he had always been.
He shouldn't be thinking about it right now.
- What are you doing right now ? he asked.
He could hear background noise before.
- Nothing important... I'm with my co-workers right now.
- Then, have a good evening. I'm sorry for calling like that.
He hung up before hearing your answer. Soon, his voice started vibrating. You were calling him back. He didn't answer so you sent him a text.
You (8:29pm) : Please answer the phone... I need to know if you're ok
He didn't want to answer the text. Or rather, he didn't want to answer the questions that were coming next. He sat on the couch and waited. He didn't know what he was waiting for. Maybe for Hiromi to come back. For someone to tell him none of this was real. He decided to go take a shower. It was warm yet his heart felt like it was frozen. Was it even beating now ?
He was just out of the shower when he heard the doorbell. Was it Hiromi ? Did she lose her keys before coming back home ? He almost ran to the door and opened it.
It was you.
- What are you doing here ? he asked.
- I needed to know if you were ok...
You looked away, embarrassed.
- I'm fine. You can leave now.
He couldn't help but being cold. More than hurt, he was angry. Angry to see you. It was exactly what his girlfriend didn't want him to do.
- Ok... Bye...
You turned to leave. You were leaving already ? He didn't want you to go. He knew what he said, and he was confused as to why he was acting so selfishly, so childishly. But he just couldn't stop all the emotions he had been holding to come out.
- Do you even care about me ?
You froze and slowly turned around.
- Of course I do, you answered him.
You walked back to him and slowly pulled him into a hug. He didn't hug you back.
- Then why didn't you open the door that day ?
You didn't know what to answer. You still remembered that day and how you felt. You wanted to open the door but you were too hurt to do it.
- Why couldn't you accept me the way I was ?
You tried to hug him tighter and he pushed you away.
- Did you even love me ? Or did you just love who you thought I was ?
- I'm sorry, Rin.
- You left when you saw I couldn't give you what you wanted, he whispered. Just like she did. That's not love.
He was looking at you right in the eyes. You felt tears drop on your cheeks. Was it what he was thinking of you ? That you had never loved him ? That you were using him ? Were those the feelings he had be holding back for so long ?
You cupped his face with your two hands.
- I was in love with you. You were sweet, caring, funny, determined. I admired you and I loved you. When I got rejected, people focused on me and never asked you how you felt and I'm so sorry for that.
You sobbed. You couldn't stop crying.
- I'm sorry I never asked you how you felt.
He didn't want to see you cry. He had made you cry enough. He hugged you tight. It felt good, it felt right. He felt hot, like he needed more of you. He wanted to feel you more. He needed your warmth and your reassuring words, he had missed your smile, your laugh all this time. And he had missed the way he used to feel when you were around, that strong feeling he had never felt for anyone else.
- It didn't take long, you hear behind you.
You pulled out from Suna's hug and looked behind you.
- Hiromi, you don't have anything to do here.
Suna put you behind him.
- You were cheating on me too !
Too, you thought.
You understood what it was all about. You saw his hand shake. It was like you were still connected to him after all these years. You could feel his distress, you could feel how desperately he needed help. So you walked toward Hiromi.
- Let's go outside, you said to her.
She looked at you with disdain.
- Don't even talk to me, she spat. You're the one fucking him behind my back !
You sighed. Suna could feel the atmosphere shift.
- Let's go outside. I'm not saying it again.
It was an order asked in a way that nobody would dare to say no. He was chilled to the bone. He bet Hiromi was too. She complied right away. You followed her.
Right before you closed the door, your two eyes met. You smiled at him right before you were out of sight. He didn't know how much time he waited. It probably only was for a couple of minutes but it felt like an eternity. What if you talked to her and never wanted to come back again ? What if you left him alone a second time ? He hated this idea.
But then you opened the door again. You were still smiling at him.
And Hiromi was gone.
He couldn't help but wonder.
What happened outside this apartment ?
Tags : @ys2800 @jiminslajibolala @rat-p1ss @qualitygiantshoepsychic @lovelytaes-blog @bananasquash @backoftheletter @wakasa-wifey @jojowantstocry @amarinthe @wolffmaiden @sunas-type @your-girl-mj @crapimahuman @shiratori-no-hikari @thegracerammy @wumboho @whitebread-wasian
Hey ! I'm posting this right now because I'm not working today ! I usually post after work but not today ! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I stopped right before you know what happened outside. You'll know very soon ! Finals are getting closer so I'm getting very busy but I'll try to update soon ! Have a good day !!
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Ch. Twenty Two
Note: White Messages: YN POV & Black Messages: Suna POV
⚠️WARNING: Swearing, bullying, defamation, name-calling
»»————- ♡ ————-««
»»————- ♡ ————-««
A/N: Y’all didn’t think Atsumu would go away quietly did ya? He just HAD to swoop in and try to start shit, but unfortunately for him YN had Suna and some of the student population backing her up and she was NOT gonna take any shit from Atsumu. He’s like the last little fly, trying to buzz around and be annoying and YN just SMACKED him down. Thank you all for reading - next chapter is the LAST (SOB) and it’s going to have a tiny time skip, nothing major! Drink water and get plenty of rest!!!
Taglist: Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to the I Know Better SMAU: @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @ara-mitsue @meianshugoswife @babiemay @call-me-lulu @amarinthe @trshex @qualitygiantshoepsychic @turtledoesnotcry @jellien @xmyshya @rintarovibes @myasaaaam @markeu-lii @creepykawass @everytimeswift @justablogforreblogs @kurapikasimpwrites @imarriedachef @pillboxmb @vvvselfindulgence @random-fandom-girl-24 @savantsoulfinder @shakesqueer444 @bakugouswh0r3 @rintsum @hanabihwa @watashi-wanna-die
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hii...I wanted to request a tsukki fic (if requests are open)
here is the senario:
So... y/n and Tsuki have been friends for a very long time and y/n is a dancer (specifically a ballerina) and the music Tsuki listens is ballet music because he often hears it when he's with y/n so it reminds him of her...Yamaguchi doesn't know about y/n yet. and Yamaguchi gets confused at the soft looks Tsuki gives y/n and realized that Tsuki has feelings for y/n and encourages him to confess, and maybe they(reader and Tsuki) have a special place where they used to meet during middle school but something is happening to the place (like if its a tree-it gets cut down or if its a building-it gets taken down) and y/n requests Tsuki to go there one last time...and there Tsuki takes Yamaguchi's advice and they (y/n and Tsuki) finally have their first kiss and say they love (or like) each other. you can also add a bonus of someone from the team spotting them. sorry if this is too long but I am too lazy to write it myself... mostly fluff<3
again...I adore your work and your way with words is just- *chefs kiss*
All cuz i love you
Warnings: none just fluff....not proofread.
◤ ──┅┅┄┄*ೃ:.✧✲ﾟ*｡⋆─── ⋆✩⋆
"𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈'𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝"
◤ ──┅┅┄┄*ೃ:.✧✲ﾟ*｡⋆─── ⋆✩⋆
At one point you found your eyes following tsukishima to wherever he went, as much as u were aware of your feelings for him you never wanted to admit it. The day you first met was.....well....when u both were both born as well. It was the cutest coincidence ever. Your mothers both went into the labour on the same day. No, they did not know each other though.
You were born 2 hours after tsukishima, as u know from both your fathers....that is. They told u this story thousands of times from how much u can recall but it amazed you everytime.
Where they both first met was the hospital, both pacing back and forth past each other in panic as their wives were in adjacent rooms, both getting ready to give birth. Among he chaos they found themselves bumping into each other quite a few times "if u were to look at us, you'd find it so funny" her father laughed.
When tsukishima's father got to hold him for the first time he was unconsciously running upto your father showing him the baby, and they've been best friends ever since....and you and tsukishima were no better except the huge wall you've managed to built with your feelings getting wider than just of a friend's.
It was quite a conincidence when you think about it but you sure hoped it was meabt to be, even when you saw how girls flocked around tsukishima in the middle school, even when you saw him crying beside the huge tree you both loved to visit after the huge blow he recieved from his brother's lie.
You were there for him that day, telling him it's okay. It was the first time you ever saw him crying and the last time too, he never cried after that let alone show emotions other than his usual salty self. You remember tearing up and crying with him and then you both hugged each other crying for you didn't remember how long. And when you both looked at each other again, you laughed making fun of his ugly crying face and he pinched you nose. Hard. And then he had to buy you an icecream to get you to talk to him again.
It was fun.....those days when you weren't aware lf your feelings were amazing. A loud voice echoed through the corridors of the classrooms making you flinch, and everyone around you to turn back to look at the source of the loud squeal. It was your classmate.....shoto? You supposed and a dark haired intimidating guy following soon behind.
"Y-YES" before you knew it you were squealing back in response. "PLEASE HELP US STUDY" he yelled in the middle of corridor making you shudder than whimpering for him to shut the fu- to stay quite and that he shouldn't be screaming so loud in the corridor.
"yes, please help us study" the blueberry eyed boy bowed and for a second you contemplated then smiling at them with a nod of yes.
"the shrimp is loud today, i wouldn't have noticed you if it wasn't for you screaming first thing in the morning" a voice snickered behind you, obviously agitating the orange haired boy in front of you. And you ignored it turning around to see your....best friend of years...there he stood smirking with who you supposed was yamaguchi.
Tsukishima and you liked to hide the fact that you knew each other, after the huge fight you got into with the girls in......elementary school you guessed. The girls were obviously more in number but u landed quite the fatal hits after getting beaten up for "stealing their tsuki".
He carried you back home as you cried on his back, screaming and hitting him for being so handsome that all the girls want him. It was funny when u look back at it. It had you giggling even now, and that caught tsukishima's eyes....the look in his face softening at the sound of your giggle, making yamaguchi look at him with question marks floating around his head untill he caught the sight of your snickering softly.
You begged for days but tsukishima refused to introduce you to yamaguchi. "You're too wild for him" he stated and you puffed your cheeks out, glaring at him for calling you wild even tho it was an obvious truth. "HMPH FINE IMMA NOT TALK TO YOU AGAIN" you stomped your way out of the room, and since that day you never talked to each other in school, only school tho.
It was weird how you both pretended to know nothing when you'd sleep in his bed and kick him down during the nights.
But it was what it was, your thoughts were once again interrupted by the orange haired boy as he whined at you for laughing at him and cursing at tsukishima for being salty first thing in the morning.
The days passed by, and each time you sat with kageyama and hinata....you learned, you'd find tsukishima's eyes boring holes into you but you kept shut, refusing to notice his stare. But his certain friend had already caught up on his obvious jealousy unlike you.
"say tsukii" yamaguchi trailed as they walked to the gym for practice. The lack of response had yamaguchi continuing. "Do you....." He hesitated but continued when tsukishima hummed in response. "Do u by any chance know y/n san from our class?" This was a definite surprise to making him stop in his tracks.
"what?" He mumbled turning around to now fully pay attention to yamaguchi making him flinch. "Ah? Oh- uhm- wa-was wondering since you know y/n do u know- just wanted-" tsukishima sighed making yamaguchi shut up.
What took yamaguchi was surprise was how tsukishima reacted after "ig I'm being too obvious even when i told her to pretend not to know me..." The look on his face wasn't like the other looks he gave people.
His eyes were droppy, it felt too dreamy for tsukishima's personality, he looked like he was troubled but yamaguchi kept quiet waiting for tsukishima to lead the conversation. Tsukishima sighed again running his hands through his hair, then his face dropped, back to his usual self, but there was a small hint of pain in his eyes that yamaguchi managed to catch.
"I'll stay silent for a while...." Yamaguchi mumbled to himself letting themselves walk to the gym in the usual comfortable but odd silence. "SURE I COULD DO THAT" tsukishima stopped in his tracks as he heard the very familiar gentle voice. He took in a deep breathe before walking inside the gym, to see tanaka and nishinoya flocking around you along with kageyama and hinata.
"They....are sparkling" was the only thing tsukishima could think before his attention turned to your small hands that were held firmly by none other than tanaka. Oh a way to piss him off, and why did u look like u had no complaints, what were u so happy for? That some random senpai is holding your hand, is that it? He grumbled under his breathe as he saw how u looked at the four with sparkling eyes. Something was ticking inside him....like a bomb.
And he burst when he saw daichi ruffling you hair and thanking you, what put him more on the edge was how you blushed at him and looked down as if it was all u ever wanted.
He just wanted to pull you away at once.... but with what right? You weren't even dating him in the first place. He was trying, he really was but at one point he could feel his heart shattering at the thought of you being with anyone else but him, he was being selfish, he concluded. But at the point he didn't even care.
"i don't feel well, I'm gonna...just go home" tsukishima suddenly blurted out making everyone turn to look at him, hinata was so ready to retort back with a mean remark to which he was sure he'd get an even saltier remark in return, but his voice felt stuck in his throat when he looked at tsukishim.
He had his head hung low as he waited for the coach to allow him to skip practice for today. "Oh- um sure. Do u want to ring your parents, you don't look well-" tsukishima found himself nodding a no before ukai could complete his sentence walking away in a rush.
And you stood there helpless. Oh how you wished you could hug him rn tell him it'll be okay. "Y/n chan" you flinched at the sudden voice then turned around to look at yamaguchi.
"can i talk to you for a minute?...privately?" Yamaguchi asked hesitantly making you wonder if you were somehow related to tsukishima's sadness...."oh well sure" you let out a strained smile.
"just wait outside for me" he squealed then running off to daichi before you could answer. You sighed then walked out of the gym silently, still contemplating if you should go visit tsukishima today.
"oh hey, let's go there" yamaguchi said pointing to a lonely tree reminding you of that one time you fell asleep on tsukishima when you were young, making you chuckle. You still remembered how he complained of having to carry you all the way back.
Your heart swelled at the thought of being that close to tsukishima again. "Um....y/n chan....you know tsukki from a long time right?" Yamaguchi started to which you turned to look at him surprised. "H-how do u-" he cut you off "it's written on his face" yamaguchi laughed.
"ik I'm in no place to tell you anything, but he's probably troubled with something....ik he won't tell me anything since it's related to....- so could u do me a favour and take care of him? Thank you very much I'll get going now" yamaguchi grumbled in one breathe then ran back to the gym leaving your confused self to yourself.
"realted....to what" you trailed off. "Nvm that" you sighed taking out your phone.
"Keiiii, i heard the tree we used to visit all the time during our middle school is being cut off....do u wanna meet there for one last time today if you're feeling well that is?...... I'm waiting <3"
You contemplated sending for a few seconds before you pressed send with a new found confidence. "I love you kei" you smiled to yourself walking your way to the tree. To your surprise your phone dinged right when you reached the tree.
"I'll....be there in a few"
You smiled at the response walking inside the lonely park where the tree resided. "Does it still have the mark i made when we were young?" You whispered to yourself walking around the tree in search of the mark.
"y/n loves kei" it said.
"I only wanna marry kei kun" you whined to which tsukishima sighed. "You're too young to decide that rn y/n chan, I'm sure you wouldn't wanna marry me when we grow up" he chuckled to which your teared up "NO I'LL PROVE MY LOVE YOU WAIT" you yelled at him grabbing a sharp stone from the ground then running away to the the other side not before telling tsukishima to wait.
He heard you whine to yourself for quite a time before you were back. "I'm done" you squealed happily before grabbing tsukishima's obviously larger hand and dragging him away to the other side. "Slower y/n chan we'll fall-" he started but stopped when he saw your clumsy writing scarred upon the wood of the tree
"Look i even proved it....is it a promise now kei kun?" You asked while he just stared at the mark surprised. "Yes" he smiled looking back at you so gently you found yourself smiling in response.
"i love y/n chan too" he smiled at you before letting out his pinky. "It's a promise then?" He asked and you giggled before intertwining your fingers.
You found yourself smiling at the thought...oh how strange your were still willing to marry him. "Maybe.....maybe the childish feelings aren't a lie kei" you whispered to yourself, your fingers tracing the letters your heart fluttering.
"y/n." You heard a familiar voice call out making you turn back. It was as if your breathe got stuck in your throat when you saw him, you felt yourself falling for him harder at the moment
He was wearing a grey hoodie with dianosaur prints and grey sweatpants making you giggle. It's been hard to meet since high school started because of his club even when u did met you'd both silently study untill you both fell asleep...then school again.
"look kei it still has the scar" you smiled turning back to look at the prints of your name with his. It looked so pretty to you. "I kept my promise" kei whispered making you turn around abruptly. "W-what?" You asked your eyes wide in surprise.
"i said i kept my promise, i fell for you even when we grew up....no maybe i was still in love with you back then too" he grumbled making you flush. "Are you.....kei- you?" you started your ears turning red. "Maybe I'm.....but i know u don't love me back....so....just...just don't leave me tho" his voice cracked making you look up in surprise, his expression matching the day he was lied to by his brother making your heart click in pain.
There was a swirl lf emotions inside you, you wanted to hug him, kiss him, hold him, tell him how much u loved him. Maybe even marry him right here right now.
Before you could think you were pulling him down by collar and standing up on your tip toes. "Fuck you for being so tall i can't kiss you properly like this" you grumbled and before he could react your lips met his. It wasn't more than a peck but it still had your heart thumping.
As you let go his collar you looked sudden very much aware of your actions, making you shudder. "I'm- kei I'm- I'm so sorry i didn't- i meant- i didn't mean to-" you started but before you could complete your felt a strong arm pull at your waist. And his lips were on yours again. It felt like a dream as is hand rested at the back of your head, pulling your face in closer while his arm pulled you flush against his chest.
"kei-" you started but were cut off with him pulling you in to a kiss again. It was more passionate this time, your eyes falling shut as you pulled yourself up on your tip toes again but this time he supported you. Your hands clenching against his hoodie. The kiss was deeper than the first one. His lips moving againt yours with such passion it drove you dizzy.
His lips felt soft...he tasted like strawberry shortcake and it had you pulling away with a giggle. You remembered how he ate strawberry shortcake everytime he was bothered by something.
"you taste like strawberries" you snickers, your laugh making his heart beat rapidly.
"i love you" you whispered. Pulling him back in again but just before you could kiss him again he mumbled a small "i love you too" making you smile against his lips.
It was an happy ending you both deserved. And you were now very proud to tell your 5 y/o daughter that you kept your promise with her father.
A/n: omfg i posted it in the middle in accidnet I'm so sorry 😭😭😭😭. I can't help but feel like this is not good enough but i hope you like it. Thank you for the request. I tried ny best since it was my first request ever. But I'm sorry if this didn't meet your expectations 😭😭😭😭♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ thank you for reading and liking my fics too♥️♥️♥️
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M a s t e r l i s t
Pretty Blue Flowers
The One That Got Away
Take On Me
Smile for me,Darling~!
The one That Got Away
Garden Of Pain
I love you to the Moon and Stars
I Miss You
Dance with me Again
My time with You
I Love You
Beautiful In White
I think im Inlove Again
Silent Love pt. 1 || I Want to Hear your Voice Pt.2
Feather's Across the Seasons
Love is Like an Airplane
Dear Future Husband
Waiting you from Season to Season
The Years Of Memories
Say You wont let go
Im (Not) Okay
Love the way you Lie
I see Red
The Disease Were all Afraid Of
The Day I wont See you Again || pt.2
I see your Monster
I hate bullies
Bungou Stray Dogs
Lost And Found
For the Tainted Sorrow
Mini Angst Collection (Haikyuu Setters)
Mini Angst Collection (Haikyuu Blockers)
- Kenma Oneshots -
pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5
- Queen Of Hearts -
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─ “Hey! Look at the carrot – it’s so small.” The boy yelled as he rushed over to you, in his small palms a carrot he had taken from his lunch tray. You looked at him whilst grabbing your plastic eating utensils, and smiled. “I know! It’s so cute~!” You said, your eyes filled to the brim with curiosity and anticipation. “Whaddya wanna call it?” He asked, his eyes flickering between you and the small carrot. Children passed by with lunch trays as you rolled your eyes and sighed – “We’re not it’s parents, semi-kun.” You said with a giggle, walking over to the cafeteria’s benches – devouring the piece of pizza you had gotten. “What if you were the mom and I was the dad?” He asks, you almost spit your food out – looking at him – surprised. “What!?” You yelled, semi smiled and giggled. “I’m kidding you idiot!” He giggled, punching you playfully on the arm. You smiled. Memories really do hurt after losing someone.
2021 @ pyobeul ─ do not in any way replicate, repost, rewrite, and/or plagiarize any of my works.
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dec. 3rd would be a good day for some haikyu angst 👀
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it’s been 3 weeks since you ran into suna on the train. and as much as you hate to admit it, its consumed your thoughts. the way his hair grew a bit longer, the way he got just a bit taller, the way he gained more muscle. and even with all the changes you saw, he still reminds you of the old suna. the one you fell in love with.
so when atsumu spoke to you a week later asking why suna was suddenly begging for your number again, you told him it was okay to give out your new number. it was quiet for a while, so you wondered if atsumu even listened to you, until a few days ago.
and its been just 3 days since he sent a series of texts, all of which have gone unanswered.
suna: hey this is suna. thanks for letting me text you.
suna: i was hoping maybe we could talk?
suna: y/n, i really miss you. and i’m so sorry for how things ended.
suna: please just talk to me.
suna: i love you.
suna: just please. let me talk to you once okay?
you stare at your screen, unsure of how to go about things. the breakup was bad. but the aftermath of getting your heart torn to pieces, was even worse. because the only thing you think of when you stare at those messages is the all the situations that had lead to the end of what was a treasured relationship. how he let someone tear you two apart.
but your unresolved feelings and unanswered questions make it difficult to click the block button again, and pretend it never happened. pretend like you never ran into him that day. pretend like he isn't the first thing you think of when you when wake up and the last thing on your mind before you go to bed.
but you can’t, because anytime he comes to mind you still feel your face heat up. and whenever atsumu would slip up and accidentally say his name, you would become more interested in what he had to say. and anytime you looked at the only jacket of his that you still had, you could still feel the ghost of his fingers placing it softly on your shoulders.
you know you'll need to answer soon, because he seems to be getting more persistent to just have a chance to speak with you. the random messages every few hours from atsumu that dont really sound like him, asking if you were okay, if you ate dinner, if you slept well last night. because it was something suna used to do.
and that shows he still cares right? he regrets how he ended things? because none of this would have happened had he just listened to how you felt, instead of brushing it off and saying how he only loved you. you want closure. you want to know why things happened the way they did. you want to know why he didn't even fight for you stay. even if knowing those answers will hurt you more.
so no matter how you think of it, there's only one answer you want to give him.
y/n: okay, i'll talk to you.
1 year and 5 months ago
its been five hours. you can't believe that you convinced yourself to stay even 5 minutes past the first hour he was late, but yet again it seems as if you are the only one holding on to what remains of this relationship.
the popcorn has gone stale, as you've refused to touch it since he always complains about you eating it before the movie even starts. the ice cold drinks he loves have melted, the water rings around the cup an indicator of just how long its been. the poor teenagers manning the counter watching you shift which hand you lean your head on.
and you'd be worried had it been the first time suna had left you like this on a date that he planned. but this is probably the 17th? 18th time? and you realize you've truly lost count of how often this occurs. and that angers you because you shouldn't even have to count how many times your boyfriend stands you up on dates.
you hear the doors to the theater slam open and the sound of someone running. out of breath, he runs up to the table youre sat at. he grabs your hand and squeezes, "y/n, im so sorry. what should we-"
"the movie ended 3 hours ago. why did you even come here." you stand up from the table, removing your hand from his grip and tossing the full popcorn and drinks into the trash.
he reaches for your wrist, trying to pull you back towards him, only to have you yank it out of his hold, "babe, i really didn't mean to."
you sigh, "i just want to go home."
he nods, holding the door open for you then shoving his hands into his jean pockets as you walk home in silence. suna decides to be the first to break the tension by sliding his jacket over your shoulders, "you look cold."
you hum. you want to tell him that you hadn't planned on being out this late as the temperature dropped but you hold it in and continue walking, your eyes glued to the street ahead of you.
"where were you this time, rin?"
he pauses and that gives you the answer you were hoping you wouldn't receive. he was with her.
"she wasn't feeling well and her parents weren't home. i was only going to stay for a few minutes but she didn't have dinner and-"
you stop walking, turning to face him, "when do i get to be your first choice?" you pause, holding eye contact with him, "when do i get to be the one you think about? when are you going to realize how uncomfortable she makes me?" you sigh, turning back around to keep walking towards your apartment, "i've told you so many times that you keep letting her come in the way of our relationship. not once have i told you to stop being friends with her, despite her being your ex. and for what is probably the 18th time, you've left me alone on a date. one that you planned to make up for the one you missed last week. and the week before that. and also the week before that."
snapping your head back you look at him again, "which you missed because of her. again."
you pull your keys out of your bag and unlock your front door, "i can't keep doing this anymore."
you walk into your apartment, standing at the entrance you whisper out, "goodnight suna."
and you close your front door.
part of the series; look at me
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「 CRY FOR ME 」 ♡ MASTERLIST
PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader. Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader.
GENRE : Angst.
TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Friends with Benefits. Not very canon compliant.
SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō
TAGLIST : CLOSED
PLAYLIST + sunayn texts + sunayn crumbs
ACT I – PARTNER
ACT II – PLAYING WITH FIRE
ACT III – BLUR
ACT IV – LET'S NOT FALL IN LOVE
ACT V – SAFETY NET
ACT VI – LIE TO ME
ACT VII – TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE
ACT VIII – ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY.
ACT IX – ALWAYS
ACT X –
ACT XI –
MORE COMING SOON.
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HOW THEY ASK YOU TO STAY
if you walk out that door, we're done; he spits the words like venom, his knuckles white as he clenches his hands to his sides. in truth, he's scared. so so scared that you really will walk out that door. and if he's being honest, he doesn't know what to do. his words betray him as he begs and wishes that you'd just stay.
IWAIZUMI, osamu, tsukki, SUNA, kenma, shirabu, matssun, daishou, kyōtani, FUTAKUCHI
please, don't leave me; it's begging, pleading, desperate even. he's scared of you leaving because he doesn't know what life is without you in it. he's scared, he knows what it's like to be alone and to be left alone. he's abandoned all thoughts and pride and just clings on to you, hoping that you won't go and betray him like the others did.
USHIJIMA, kuroo, KAGEYAMA, TENDŌ, aone, yamaguchi
i promise i'll change; he’s said it a thousand times before to the point that as the words escape him, he himself isn’t sure if he meant it. but he says it anyway, promises you everything you want to hear, convinces himself that this really is the last time, that he will truly change for you—just for you to stay.
SAKUSA, hirugami, akaashi, daichi, SEMI, makki, aran, hoshiumi, tanaka, OIKAWA
just let me hold you, please; it's selfish, he knows, but he can't think of anything else. he just wants to hold you, to let you know that he still wants you—still wants what the two of you have. and if that meant engulfing you, caging you even, he’d take that risk.
ATSUMU, sugawara, asahi, BOKUTO, yaku, komori, konoha, nishinoya, KITA
note: i am in no way villainizing any of the characters or encouraging this sort of behavior.
rbs are appreciated!
» m. list
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what i want, part two
read part one | wc: 2858 | gn reader | arranged marriage au | warnings: alcohol mention, divorce mention, toxic parents | angst, fluff | read part three
6 months ago
"about your game tomorrow..." you nervously pushed the food on your plate around. "i could come and watch. it's supposed to be a tough one right?"
seated across from you, kiyoomi barely hid his annoyance at your suggestion. he took another sip of his wine and exhaled.
"yes. but your presence won't be necessary,"
a heaviness fell over your heart as something bitter began to take root. why? why was he doing this? what were you doing wrong? you desperately wished you could bring yourself to ask him, but just being under his scathing and intense gaze was too much. you bit the inside of your cheek and nodded, praying your voice would be steady when you replied.
kiyoomi stood, grabbing his plate as he made his way to the kitchen. "and don't bother waiting up after, i'll be out with the team."
"okay, good luck." was all you managed to say as his figure disappeared down the hall.
fighting to control the trembling of your shoulders, you waited until you heard the soft click of the bedroom door closing before you buried your face into your hands and let out a quiet sob.
six months. it had been six months and nothing had changed. that was only the second dinner you two had shared since the wedding and it still wasn't any easier to talk to kiyoomi. if anything, things were even worse.
those hopeful and comforting words of reassurance his siblings had given you almost a year ago were fading.
the warmth you felt on your wedding day never returned. there was only cold. he was always cold.
you didn't know how much more you could take.
you quickly came to your senses and tore your eyes away from kiyoomi to look down at the floor. somehow you had managed to knock three glasses off of the shelf, their fragments scattered all across the kitchen floor. slightly panicked, you looked back up at kiyoomi who was already making his way toward you.
"stay still, you're barefoot."
you nodded, not trusting your voice. for some reason, you wanted to cry all over again.
unbothered by the glass crunching under his shoes, kiyoomi extended his arms out to you. "here, grab on."
you looked at him dumbly for a moment before complying, taking a hold of his arms so he could lift you up and away from the glass. you tried to remember the last time you were so close to him, almost gawking as he set you down on one of the kitchen stools. the smell of cologne on his neck took you back to your wedding night- that was the last time he initiated any form of contact with you.
kiyoomi cleaned up the mess in silence as you sipped on a glass of water he got you. you watched, staring at him with no shame. you honestly couldn't help it, in your whole year married to him, you'd never had a single interaction like that before. he hadn't even so much as scowled at you yet. he didn't even look slightly annoyed like usual.
"i thought you left."
he shook his head. “your friend stopped by. they didn’t expect to see me here.”
you almost felt guilty. as bad as everything was between you and kiyoomi, ghosting him would have always left a bitter taste in your mouth. a small part of you felt relieved after your confrontation earlier.
“what about training camp?”
“it was postponed.”
not sure how to respond, you stared down into your glass. when he finished cleaning, kiyoomi leaned against the opposite counter and slowly let out a deep breath before breaking the silence.
“y/n, if you want to leave...i won't stop you. but i would like to offer you some kind of explanation first. i believe i have...misjudged the situation.”
you tilted your head. “i don't understand.”
he nodded, looking almost…ashamed? you couldn't exactly decipher the expression taking over his face. it felt like your head was spinning, coming up with endless possibilities of what he could have meant.
“about what you said earlier, it’s true that i didn’t want this… to get married. i never did,” your heart sunk at his words. you shouldn’t have been surprised by his confession but still, having your fears confirmed hurt. he was never in it like you were. you really had been wasting your time. your feelings.
he seemed to think carefully for a moment before he continued.
“my family gave me a choice; i was to either get married or be disowned and removed from my team. i-”
kiyoomi frowned. “i already let you yell at me earlier. don’t interrupt.”
you shrunk back into your seat, mind racing as you hung on his every word.
“as you know, my family is wealthy. they have substantial influence as well. it would take a mere snap of my mother’s fingers to get me removed from my team." you didn't miss the bitterness in his voice.
"volleyball is the only thing i’ve ever worked hard for. it’s my life. so, i was left with no choice but to obey. for a while, i was able to ward off every potential matchup in the hopes that my parents would give up hope. then, your family came along and my plan was ruined. it was like nothing would get rid of you.”
your eyes blew wide as his every word stung you to the core. overcome with embarrassment and sadness, you found yourself replaying every interaction with him over the past year and a half, wondering if you had come across as some desperate, lovestruck idiot. all the while he was being manipulated and pressured by his own family with the one thing he truly loved. of course he hated you. you were the living embodiment of his lack of freedom, his parent's total control over his life.
“so after we got married, i decided to just continue on with my life as if nothing changed. you got a marriage and all this,” he gestured around the penthouse. “while i could continue to play volleyball and appease my family. i thought that was what everyone wanted, so your outburst today genuinely caught me by surprise. i di-”
"you thought i knew."
kiyoomi's eyes widened, caught off guard by how small your voice sounded. you looked absolutely gutted.
“but...what about whenever i tried to get you to just talk to me? or spend time with me? let me support you?" your voice shook as you tried to hold it together, tears of anger and sadness threatening to spill over your cheeks. "you thought all of that was just some act?”
he had never wanted to take back his words so badly. in that moment, all kiyoomi wanted was for the look on your face to disappear. he'd never cared enough to offer comfort to anyone before, but as he watched you crumble in front of him all over again, he was cursing himself for not knowing what to do. all he could do was give you the truth.
“i did, i'm sorry, y/n. i can see now that i was wrong. no amount of apologies will make up for how i treated you, but i am truly sorry. if i had known your intentions were genuine well... i really don’t know. you don't have to forgive me, but whatever you need from me now, i'll help you with.”
it was true. all afternoon kiyoomi had been trying to convince himself that you really were the person he had built up in his head- the person that just wanted into his family and conspired with his mother to ruin his life and threaten his career. he wanted to believe that you never cared about him. but when he kept remembering that look on your face as you screamed at him, he knew he was wrong. if anything, he had been the one ruining your life all along. and now, he would do anything to make up for it, to prove that he's not like his parents. he doesn't hurt the people that care about him.
you were at a loss for words, mind reeling as you tried to make sense of everything and where to go from there. somehow, the entire situation seemed worse than before.
you shook your head. "i need... i want a drink right now, to be honest."
kiyoomi blinked, taking a moment to process your words before turning to open the fridge. "uh, there might be some beer. i don't really drink liquor so-"
"the bottom cabinet over there." you pointed. "there should be a few bottles."
he raised a brow but didn't question you, already knowing the answer. with how badly he treated you most days, who wouldn't need a drink? the thought of you drowning your sorrows alone unsettled him. as he filled two glasses with an amber liquid, he remembered his father, who would do the same thing after long, frequent arguments with his mother.
he was going to make this right. he wasn't going to be like his mother, and you wouldn't be like his father. kiyoomi would free you both from the wretched cycle of his family tree. starting with signing those papers first thing tomorrow. for you, and him. he'd just have to face whatever consequences his family threw at him. it would be okay as long as you weren't sad because of him ever again.
"thank you," you visibly relaxed after taking a sip of your drink.
kiyoomi sat next to you and took a sip as well, his eyes never leaving your face. now that everything was out, he had a million things on his mind. he wondered about the real you. the you that he had refused to see underneath his hostile assumptions. he thought about all the times he wanted to ask you about things like your job or a book you were reading but before he could utter the words, his resentment for the situation would hold him back and he would ignore your existence all over again.
“so why did you want to do it? get married, i mean. i know your parents didn't make you.”
you groaned, not wanting to talk about it. but since he had opened up and apologized so sincerely, you couldn't bring yourself to just brush him off. it wasn't like it really mattered anymore. deciding to leave out a few embarrassing details, you tell him.
“well,” you cleared your throat. “i thought i didn’t care about being alone. and for a long time, i really didn’t. i was always fine with it until one day i just wasn’t anymore. i mentioned it to my mom on a whim and the next thing i know was meeting you.”
kiyoomi didn’t try to hold back his chuckle. you frowned before staring at him in disbelief, soaking up everything about his laugh and engraving it into your memory. it was a rare, beautiful sight.
“yeah, yeah. maybe it was silly. you were scary looking, by the way. well, you still are. but...” you trailed off, looking into your glass.
"i don't know, i just really liked being near you." you laughed lightly, already feeling slightly buzzed. "and speaking to your siblings really sealed the deal for me. they’re very fond of you, you know?”
he seemed to sober up a bit. “i didn’t know you had spoken to them. we aren't very close.”
“well, i had to learn about you somehow. you certainly weren’t helping. they told me how you were a really good person and that i should be patient with you. because its worth it. i don't have siblings but if i did, i hope they would talk about me like that.”
kiyoomi shrugged and brought his glass to his lips."i was trying to scare you off. most of my matches usually got annoyed with me and didn't make it to the second date."
you nodded solemnly. "i'm sorry too though. if i had known... i wouldn't have let you go through with it. i guess i should have suspected something was wrong."
"no need," kiyoomi shook his head. "besides, i was the one too scared to say no to my family."
you rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to curse his parents right in front of him. who does that to their own child? you stiffen as you come to a realization. what would they do to him?
"what will happen now? with your family?"
he finished his drink before responding in a thoughtful tone. "i don't know. nothing pleasant that's for sure, but i'm prepared for it. i imagine they'll have a few words for you though. sorry about that."
honestly, you weren't worried about yourself anymore.
just twelve hours ago you wanted nothing more than to be as far away from kiyoomi as possible, leaving him and the painful memories of the past year behind you. yet as he stared down into his empty glass, so unsure, so alone- you knew things were different. maybe you weren't so lovestruck anymore but you definitely felt like an idiot for not wanting to go anywhere without him. and despite not knowing the real circumstances of your marriage, you felt somewhat responsible and didn’t want any part in taking his career away from him.
dammit, you thought.
you reached across the counter for the bottle of whiskey and refilled both of your glasses. "fuck. okay. okay."
after downing your drink in one go, you turned to face a confused kiyoomi. "what's wrong?"
"i'll stay." you said.
"but..why?" he looked at you incredulously.
"so you can keep playing. so your parents won't take what you love away from you."
kiyoomi's eyes went wide, he ignored the fluttering in his chest as he tore his gaze from yours. "you don't have to do that just because you feel sorry for me, y/n. this isn't your problem."
you couldn't deny that some part of you pitied what kiyoomi had to go through with his parents. coming from a home full of love and support, it was hard for you to imagine what he must have gone through with parents who only saw him as a pawn and siblings too old to relate to him. but a larger part of you simply just wanted to be by his side, even if you would never have the marriage you envisioned. it was still better than going back to before. back to being alone.
"i don't want them to do anything to you, kiyoomi. i don't care about before, i just want to help you."
he sighed. "you shouldn't waste any more time here with me. this isn't what you want. i don't want it either. so just go."
in an instant, the somewhat friendly atmosphere went cold as a familiar silence enveloped you both. the kind of silence that made your ears ring and your throat tighten.
he didn’t want you there. he didn’t want you. you were better off alone. again.
with a nod, you slid from your seat and tried your best to keep your expression neutral.
"alright. i'll be gone by tomorrow morning then."
for the second time that day, you were walking away from kiyoomi. but before you could make it three steps, he stood and caught your wrist in his hand.
"that's not what i... i don't want you to hate me, y/n." he breathed, eyes frantically searching yours.
it suddenly dawned on you that you never addressed those sharp words you threw at him earlier.
"i didn't mean that." you shook your head. "i don't hate you, kiyoomi. i never did."
he looked slightly relieved at your words but his grip on your hand was still so tight. "but i.. how do we do this? i don't know how-"
as he stumbled over his words, you pulled your wrist from kiyoomi's grasp and extended your hand out to him with a grin. "you don't know how to be friends with someone, kiyoomi?"
he looked down at your hand. "friends?"
"yes. ever heard of a platonic marriage? we can play nice while we figure out how to deal with your psychotic family."
he raised a brow but was clearly amused. "that sounds like a horrible idea."
you didn’t disagree.
"maybe." you shrugged. "in return, i only expect VIP tickets to all your games and maybe a new car."
kiyoomi laughed at that. "y/n, seriously. it's okay."
he expected you to just drop it there, but when you furrowed your brows and continued to hold your hand out to him, he knew you were serious. even after everything, you still cared so much about him. he wasn't used to anything like it. he didn't think he even deserved it.
but still, he wanted you to stay by his side. he wanted to know you.
"let me, kiyoomi."
with a small smile, kiyoomi finally relented and reached out.
fitting perfectly with his own, he wondered if your hands had always been so warm.
A/N: wow i am so very sorry for the super long delay with this part two! i hope you all enjoyed it! there will be a final part to put a nice wrap on everything. fingers crossed it doesn't take me ages! i just want to thank everyone for giving the first part so much love because it really motivated me and made me incredibly happy.
please do not copy/repost.
taglist! those I couldn’t tag are bolded
@samkysnks @captainchrisstan @kayleighbecca @naainaax @candybabey @kiyoomi-isbae @ss-akii @na-haruka @naturakaashi @skshk @fallingw-angel @simping4u @ilhy2003 @tobios-shawty @iworshipyelena @erinoikawa @kamirakiyoomiii @angrytriumphlover @namuwustudies @rikaivel @fromdelos @sprinkklz @ang3lc4k3 @jadasz @hellokitty144567890 @kumabs @cyberkeii @imdeadinside04 @savagenctzen @whoisalexa @wolffmaiden @bakubub @malserenlty @queenelleee @whie-000 @keisukeist @sakusasbitch @fandomsgotmefucked @ushygushysimp @macaronnv
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character/s: suna rintaro, miya atsumu x gn!reader
genre/s: just a smidge of angst to fluff
warning/s: suna thinks you’re cheating (ofc that’s not the case)
gwen’s notes 🤍: i’m trying to finish as many suggestions as i can, couldn’t will myself to finish tendou’s part so i’ll post another part (hopefully i don’t forget)
MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
suna rintaro’s lack in expressiveness he makes up for with his perception, not that it makes the situation any better. he tends to overanalyze things, though he’s right most of the time, he would never try and communicate about what’s bothering him.
you’ve been on your phone a lot lately, your number’s always busy when he tries to call you, you say it’s because you’re on call with your friends and you’re playing a game, but he could have sworn you knew next to nothing about gaming unless he had to teach you, you take longer to reply than usual, and his mind just goes to the worst.
he finally snaps when his head is laying on your lap and instead of you gingerly running your fingers through his hair while you ramble about your day and he hums “mhm” and “ahuh, then what happened,”, your nose is shoved into your phone, too distracted to even notice him staring at you in disbelief.
he sits himself up, shoving your arms out of the way and turns his back on you.
“rin, what’s wrong?” you finally speak up, locking your phone and placing it on your lap screen down.
“nothing, just go back to whatever it is you’re doing.”
“it doesn’t seem like nothing. come on, rin. talk to me?” you plead, reaching for his arm which he jerks away from you all too quickly.
“talk is a big word for you, y/n. i’ve been here for over an hour and you only wanna talk now?” he sneers, throwing you a brief but sharp glare before he stands and makes his way out the door.
he turns on his heel before reaching for the knob, “you know what, save us both the time and effort and just tell me right now if you’re talking to someone else.”
your face contorts to a frown, in hurt and confusion, tears burn at the back of your eyes and threaten to spill. “what even are you ta—”
“well i don’t know what else to think! who are you on call with at ungodly hours in the night, why are you always so busy on your phone!?”
your mouth falls slack at the realization, a strangled laugh escaping as your head dips. suna seethes at the sight of you, what’s so funny?
“you absolute dimwit!” it comes out a cross between a chuckle and a sob and you wipe your tears with the back of your hand. “well i guess i don’t have a choice but to tell you now, huh?” he raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “i bought you this new game you kept talking about, i had some of my friends teach me how to play so we can play it together.”
suna’s face drains of color as he feels his stomach drop. he feels terrible but you open your arms right as he starts blabbering for a frantic apology and he all but runs into your arms. you feel his tense body relax against your touch when you return his tight hug.
“shit, i’m such an idiot. i’m sorry.”
“you ruined the surprise.”
“that’s the least you should be worrying about right now, i literally accused you of cheating,” he lifts his head to look you in the eyes, distraught evident in his features. you let out an empathetic smile, fixating on the little hairs sticking out of his head.
“which is why i tell you it’s so important for you to tell me what you’re feeling.”
“i know, i’m sorry. i’ll keep that in mind.” he buries his face to your side again, letting the silence calm both of you. “so, can we play the game right now? i bet you’re still shit at it after all those hours you spent practicing.”
miya atsumu will bottle his emotions up until they explode, and this time is no different. he admits it’s something he needs to work on, but he can only take so much when there’s so much pressure on his shoulders, especially as an important game quickly approaches. he feels like the world is closing in on him and he needs you, but you feel so far away always tucked away with piles of textbooks and paperwork without so much as a “good morning” or a “welcome home” day in and day out.
he pokes his head through your bedroom door and finds you slouched over your desk in front of your computer like the usual, you don’t even hear him come in until he calls out your name.
“didn’t see you there, love. how was practice?”
he huffs sarcastically through his nose, making his way straight to the closet to get a change of clothes without looking at you. “you never seem to see me these days, don’t you think?”
you twirl your chair around to his direction, eyebrows knitted together. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
“i don’t know,” he mumbles rummaging through his clothes.
“well why would you say something like that, then? i’m over here busy with—”
“yeah, yeah i know you’re busy. you think i don’t notice how busy you are that you can’t even give me the time of day?” he finally turns to you, harshly clutching at the fabric in his hands until his knuckles turn white.
you gasp incredulously, mirroring the glare he gives you. “you inconsiderate idiot. do you have any idea why i’m working myself to death with these requirements?”
“oh, now i’m the inconsiderate one? come on, y/n i know we’re both busy but how can you be so busy that you don’t see how much i need you right now?” his voice fades to a mere whisper towards the end and your heart tugs in your chest. you slowly walk over to him, taking his face into your palms to lift his head and look him in his teary eyes. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to. i-it’s just that this upcoming game, a-and i miss you so much, and i’m tired,” he sighs, head falling onto your shoulder.
“oh, my love. i’m sorry if i wasn’t there for you. i was trying to finish my work early so i could be there for your game,” you soothe him, drawing circles on his back.
“really?” he sniffles, puppy eyes gazing up at you.
“great, now i feel even worse,” he grumbles lightheartedly before he straightens himself up. “i really shouldn’t have talked to you that way, i know this is important to you.”
you gently wipe a stray tear away from his face with a gentle smile. “you’re important to me.” he rolls his eyes jokingly before he wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck, his tears warm against your skin. “but we have to work on your communication with me, hm?”
he nods almost immediately. “yes, i promise. i’m sorry but can you please take a short break for me now, i just need you.”
reblogs appreciated !
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current | 02: after everything ->
+ series masterlist
+ angst, suna x f!reader. unrequited, mentions of sex. wc: 1.5k
+ summary: suna makes you happy, and you make him feel the same. but sometimes ‘happy’ just isn’t enough, so maybe it’s time for you to walk away.
+ wrote this on a whim djdkdkd also, we thank my ex for sort of being the inspiration behind this lmao. NOT PROOFED bc i got lazy rip. anw rbs appreciated!! <3
It stung for you to admit. But you couldn’t help yourself, because she is. Radiant skin with bright big doe eyes, the prettiest dimples nestled in her cheeks and soft pink lips to top it all off.
“Yeah, but she looked even better before, when her makeup was more natural.”
So Rin says, but even so, you think she’s already galaxies above you in terms of looks alone. You are aware that comparing yourself to Rin’s exes is definitely a bad idea, but how could you not? Every time you’re chilling on the bed beside him, he happens to be viewing her profile. Does he even know you notice? Because if he did, then it would mean he doesn’t care, or bother to assure you.
And you don’t know which is worse: him knowing and choosing not to assure you of your position, or him not even noticing your pain at all.
Maybe agreeing to date someone when they’re not completely over their ex wasn’t such a good idea. In your defense, you had absolutely no clue until recently, three months into ‘dating’ Rin.
In all honesty, you still had no idea where you stood. Sure, he brings you to his games and he brings you home too. He posts about you all the time on his story, doesn’t bother to hide you from his world one bit. But late at night when he thinks you’re not looking, he can’t help but to check up on her, and for some reason the nostalgic look in his eyes pains you.
At night as you lay in bed beside him and he turns his back to you, you can’t help but to wonder: is this what people mean when they say the loneliest feeling is having your world right beside you but feeling millions of miles away? Even when he doesn’t turn you away after you hug him from behind, even when he puts his hand over yours as you loop them around his waist. It doesn’t feel like his heart’s in it.
“Give Rin a while, I know he’s not that expressive, but it’s been a while since he actually bothered to even introduce a girl to his family,” his friend, a certain Osamu Miya, had told you. “You must be important to him for him to do that.”
There’s your curse right there—you trust way too easily. Osamu seemed nice enough, but you really shouldn’t listen to anyone about Rin’s feelings other than Rin himself. Putting too much weight on what his friends have told you and assured you about had led you here, five months into whatever this relationship was and still getting no concrete answer as to who exactly Rin takes you for.
To the outside, you’re his girl. Rin meets you whenever he’s free, he brings you along to every party, he takes care of you whenever you’re sad. But in spite of all that, he’s never made it clear to you how he actually feels.
The thought comes crawling back to you at the worst times, like when the lights are off and he’s stretching you out, his guttural groans and your satisfied moans filling his room. He kisses you to shut you up because his parents are in the next room and you really shouldn’t be making this much noise. (You’re both excited for when he finally gets to move into his new apartment next month.)
Doubt is a painful thing though, because you wonder who he sees when he’s fucking you like this. When he’s kissing you, does he imagine it’s her lips? When he releases inside you, is it someone else he wishes to feel?
“I love you, Rin,” you declare breathlessly, still panting from earlier.
He settles beside you, nestling his head in the crook of your neck and tells you the same thing, but he falls asleep within seconds and you find yourself questioning if he even knew he ever said it at all.
A couple nights later and you find yourself with Rin at the grocery store near his house. It’s 2am and the both of you are starving, why not go to the nearby supermarket and splurge on midnight snacks?
Rin grabs a basket in one hand and holds your hand with his other, maneuvering through the aisles with expert ease, knowing exactly what you’d want and where it’s situated. You’re eager to follow, but by the time he’s actually cooking for you thirty minutes later, you find yourself becoming greedy.
Through your eyes you’re watching as Rin happily samples the topping for your homemade pizza. He told you to just wait there while he makes it for you, says you did a lot of work today and you deserve to have something done for you.
That is the moment you know. You know that you don’t want anyone else to have Rin, that you don’t want anyone else but Rin. You know that, and that’s why you want to stop kidding yourself. Because despite all his actions, he still can’t fool you.
“Yeah, babe?” He answers, unsuspecting.
Your fists are clenched at your side because you can’t believe you’re about to do this. But you also know you can’t continue any longer.
“What am I to you?”
This time Rin stops stirring the tomato base and looks at you. You wish you weren’t close to breaking down but you can’t help it. There would be one of two ways that this is going to play out, and to say you’re nervous was a bit of an understatement.
“What do you mean?”
Answering a question with a question has always been Rin’s way of trying to avoid the difficult topics. You almost want to cave in, to let him have his way because maybe then you’d be able to keep him to yourself a little longer. But all the times he texts his ex when he thinks you’re out of sight, all the times he smiles when he hears her singing on her story, all the times he tears his hand away from yours when he sees her at one of his games—it’s all getting way too much for you to ignore.
If she wanted back in to your life, Rin, would you let her? You’d like to ask that, but you already know the answer. Fact of the matter is, no matter how good his friends say you are for him, no matter how much his family likes you—you will always come second to her when it comes to Rin’s feelings.
“You know what I mean,” you mutter, all the hope you once had knocked out of your lungs in an instant because you can’t believe you stupidly thought that there was a chance that Rin would choose a secure relationship with you over a possibility with her.
“Can we not do this right now?”
But it’s too late—his answer is already crystal clear. And the worst part is you can’t bring yourself to hate him for it. He’s taken care of you so well for the past five months, he’s helped you heal your own broken heart although he breaks it in completely different ways himself. In a way, you can see he loves you, but it’s not enough. Not when there’s someone else he truly loves in ways you can only imagine of being loved back.
It’s 2.45am and for the first time since you’ve been with Rin, the two of you come to a disagreement. You almost wish he would lie to you, tell you that he loved you and tell you to stay. But that would be all it is—a lie. Just like what you’ve been doing to yourself ever since the first time he told you about her.
“Good luck, Rin,” is all you leave him with before breaking your own heart and leaving him behind. He may think you’re a good catch, but that breaks your heart because that’s all you ever will be. To him, it would never be enough, especially next to someone who has his heart since before you ever met him.
Suna turns off the stove as he watches you go, his legs failing to move when he realises the gravity of the situation. He’s not dumb; he knows you’re good for him, he knows you would’ve done anything to make him happy, yet he can’t bring himself to chase after you.
You deserve better, he thinks, although he knows you don’t believe so. Maybe if he met you a little bit later he could actually be better for you. Maybe if he hadn’t been selfish and asked you out so quickly your feelings would’ve aligned somewhere down the road.
But now all he knows is he can’t even lie to you, can’t bring himself to ask you to stay. You’re right for walking away. Suna hates to admit it, but being with you is the happiest he’s ever felt in the longest time.
Yet he broke your heart anyway. Because no matter how happy you make him, you’re somehow still not enough.
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FORGETTING YOUR ANNIVERSARY [HURT + COMFORT]
Kuroo, Osamu, Iwaizumi
a/n: kinda hate how this turned out but the concept was very cute so enjoy<3
(italicized is boys speaking)
warnings: set in timeskip, mentions of food, light cursing, angst to fluff
-Didn’t mean to forget he’s just been so busy lately
-He’s been working such long hours he’s hardly had time for anything else
-It was his first day off in a while, which is why he didn’t think you’d mind if he went over to visit Kenma, considering it’s been a while since they’ve hung out
You walked into the kitchen expecting to find Kuroo but instead, you were met with silence and a note on the counter that read
Went to hang out with Kenma, didn’t wanna wake you + text me when you’re up
Your mind instantly started wondering if he forgot but you were quick to reassure yourself, Kuroo always loved gifts and dates there’s no way he would miss something like this. You sent him a quick text telling him you were up then started getting ready for the day. He’d probably be home in a couple of hours anyways then you two could spend the day together.
The next few hours went quickly with no word from him which is when you decided to call, the phone rang for a while before he finally picked up.
“What’s up kitten?”
“Hey Tetsu, you planning on coming home anytime soon,” you asked him teasingly.
“Well me and Kenma were gonna grab some dinner, I’ll probably be home late so don’t wait up.”
“Are you serious?” The shift in your tone was severe, shocking him a bit.
“Yeah? Is something wrong baby?”
“Nothing at all Kuroo, happy anniversary by the way,” you spewed out sarcastically.
“Oh shit I-” You hung up the phone before he had the chance to say anything else.
You didn’t expect him to make a huge deal of your anniversary, but never in a million years did you expect him to completely forget. It hurt more than you’d like to admit, but you swallowed the lump in your throat and decided to make the day special for yourself.
You were gone for far longer than you anticipated, time flew by easily as you got your nails done and did some light shopping. It was dark by the time you reached your apartment door and you were dreading going inside, the last thing you wanted to do was fight on your anniversary and your feelings were still hurt that he didn’t care to remember such a special day.
As you opened the door you could hear faint music playing from the living room and you were immediately pulled into an all too familiar chest. You felt his large arms wrap around you tightly as he started leaving kisses on your head.
“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled quietly into your hair.
You only hummed, your arms remaining at your side refusing to hold him back.
He took a step back, grabbing your hands in his, “I know you’re mad at me but I have something to show you,” you looked up noticing the nervous expression painted on his face, brows furrowed waiting for your response.
“Okay,” you said just above a whisper allowing him to lead you to the living room.
You didn’t know what to expect walking in but you were taken aback when you saw the state of the room. Music playing lightly, a couple of candles going, a basket full of your favorite snacks, flowers, and cute little gifts, he even got you a little black cat plushie with a matching blanket. Next to the basket was a small bag from your favorite jewelry shop, he knew it was your favorite because whenever you go on walks together you always stop to admire the rings and necklaces in the window. Kuroo’s always been a thoughtful gift-giver but you never expected something as sweet as this.
“I’m sorry baby, my days have been so hectic lately it went right over my head. I know it’s nothing too amazing but I promise I’ll keep making it up to you. Anything you want, I can take some time off work we can go on a trip and-”
You cut him off, throwing yourself onto him nearly knocking him to the ground.
“I forgive you,” you spoke into his chest leaving a few pecks.
He tilted your head up and pulled you in for a soft kiss before replying.
“I still think we should take that trip I mentioned,” his usual smug tone appearing for the first time that day as you let out a soft laugh while nodding.
-He’s been so busy since opening Onigiri Miya, he can hardly keep track of his calendar.
-Anniversaries were never a huge deal for the two of you but you always did something, maybe a nice dinner or a movie night and small gifts.
-That’s why you didn’t think anything of it when he said he was going to work, you figured he’d just come home a bit earlier than usual, order your favorite takeout, and you’d get to spend some time together.
-Sadly that wasn’t the case
It was 9 pm when you finally accepted that Osumu forgot your anniversary. You figured you’d just clean up a bit then get to bed early. There was no point in calling or starting a fight, why get worked up when he clearly didn’t care.
An hour went by and still no word from your boyfriend, not even a text so you decided to just go to bed without him. It wasn’t until midnight that Osumu was getting ready to leave the restaurant when he spotted his brother’s bag on the counter, he must’ve forgotten it when he stopped by for lunch earlier. He decided to call Atsumu and let him know in case he needed it anytime soon.
“Tsumu you left your bag here,”
“What? I haven’t been to your house today,”
“Not at my house ya idiot, at the restaurant,”
“You’re still at the restaurant??”
“Yeah, I usually stay late to prep,”
“I know I know, I just figured you’d go home early on your anniversary”
Before Atsumu could answer, your boyfriend had already hung up the phone frantically looking for his calendar app, and sure enough, he had missed your guys’ anniversary. He immediately started locking up then raced home hoping that you hadn’t gone to sleep yet.
When he entered the house it was dead silent, signaling you had gone to bed without him. He spent the entirety of his shower thinking about how to make this up to you, and when he finally fell into bed he pulled you close whispering a small sorry into your sleeping ear.
The next morning you woke up to Osamus’s side of the bed empty. The sadness from the previous day overwhelming you as you thought he went to work again. You got out of bed to go make breakfast and thought about how you’d probably have to go to the restaurant later so the two of you could talk. That was, until you walked into the kitchen and saw your boyfriend in an apron carrying two large plates of food, he immediately put them down at the sight of you.
“I’m so sorry angel, so so sorry,” he whispered as he pulled you into a hug, he smelled strongly of pancakes and coffee.
“It’s whatever Samu,” you mumbled back, sure you were hurt but you weren’t angry, you just felt neglected.
“No, it’s not whatever, I should’ve been here with ya. Ya mean the world to me and I’m horrible for not showing ya that. I’ll make it up to ya baby I promise,” he held onto you tightly and let out a sigh of relief when you finally relaxed into his arms.
“You left me alone, I missed you,” you replied quietly, clutching his shirt in your hands.
“M so sorry, it’ll never happen again,” You could tell he was remorseful and you knew he’d make it up to you, he always does.
you stayed in his arms for a few minutes enjoying the warmth and leaned up to give him a peck before speaking, “Can we please eat now I’m starving.”
He chuckled nodding in response, finally letting go of you to grab the plates he was holding earlier.
“By the way, what time are you going to work today?”
“What do you mean?” Samu hardly ever took days off, especially not without telling you first.
“I’ve got a whole day of making up to do! Day full of surprises planned angel, get ready for it!”
All you could do was laugh at his child-like grin taking up the bottom half of his face as you started thinking about what your day would entail.
-You knew he was way more stressed than he was letting on
-He never brings it up because he doesn’t want you to worry for him but you can see it on his face
-The long days and sometimes nights, as well as away games, were catching up to him which is why he spent most days on autopilot. Simply checking things off his to-do list with not much thought involved.
-Despite this, you were looking forward to spending some time with him on your anniversary, even if it was just a simple night in.
-You knew things would be different this time around because he didn’t wake you up with flowers, Iwaizumi made it a point to ALWAYS wake you up with flowers on special occasions likes anniversaries and your birthday.
You were disappointed that Iwaizumi was gone before you woke up, you were looking forward to seeing him and celebrating three years together. You figured he didn’t have time to pick up flowers in the morning, which was no big deal to you, as long as he came home soon so you could spend some time together.
You decided to give him a call and wish him a happy anniversary but it went to voicemail after a few rings. You tried again but had no luck, he’d probably call you back when he sees the notifications, or at least you hoped he would.
In the meantime you decided to get ready for the day, putting in extra effort to feel and look cute. At this point, hours had gone by and you had lunch alone with no communication from your boyfriend. Of course, he forgot, maybe three years wasn’t as important to him as it was to you.
Around 5 pm you texted him a short ‘happy anniversary’ and changed back into your lounge clothes since it was clear he didn’t plan to come home and celebrate.
Meanwhile, Iwaizumi hardly had a free moment the entire day, he didn’t have the chance to check his phone once. He spent all day running around from person to person and meeting to meeting. He was just finishing up with Hinata when it hit him.
“Oh and by the way tell ____ I said happy anniversary,”
He simply grumbled, shooing the red-head away. That was until the words finally registered and he shot his head around to look at him once more.
“Say that again…”
“I said happy anniversary! I saw they posted a cute photo of you guys on their Instagram story,” he replied happily, oblivious to the turmoil going on in Iwaizumi’s head.
“I need to leave,” were the only words he could muster as he started jogging away to grab his stuff.
“What? Why? Are you sick?”
“Yeah, sure,” he’d lost all interest in the conversation, rushing to get his phone out of his bag to see a few missed calls and texts from you hours ago, wishing him a happy anniversary. He quickly made his way over to his car thinking about how to fix the problem he created.
You heard a loud banging on the door as you were watching a movie in the living room, almost like someone was kicking it. You run up to open the it, figuring your boyfriend probably forgot his keys but that wasn’t the case at all.
There he was, disheveled, standing at the door with 12 bouquets piled up in his arms.
You couldn’t help but blurt out a loud laugh at the sight, to which he scowled, of course.
“What are you doing??” You asked him through a giggle as you let him into the apartment.
“One bouquet for every hour that I forgot,” He answered you so casually as if normal people behave that way.
“You’re an idiot,” You couldn’t help but smile at his efforts even if he forgot. He dropped the flowers onto the kitchen counter and grabbed your wrist pulling you in for a hug.
“I know doll, I’m sorry,” his eyes remained soft as he looked down at you, kissing your forehead.
“I forgive you, but you better not forget again,” you replied in a playfully angry tone.
“Good, now go get ready you brat, I’m taking you out to dinner.”
likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!! <3
requests are: open
© babydai 2021- do not copy, edit, or repost
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going too far when they argue with their s/o
ft. kuroo, bokuto, & tsukishima x reader
[ warnings : unresolved angst | fighting, yelling, swearing, guilt-tripping | hurt/comfort with no comfort]
a/n : i like to hurt my own feelings in my free time :DD bon apetit loves~ (pls reblog !! it helps sm !)
:: KUROO TETSUROU ::
You couldn't remember what you were arguing about anymore, it had been going on for far too long. And what was left of it, was the back and forth of an endless screaming match. "You really just don't shut up, do you, Y/n?!" Kuroo spat, hands angrily threading his hair. "Haven't you just fucking noticed that I want you to leave? Or were you just too caught up in yourself to even notice anything about me?" Did he really feel like that about you? For how long? Thoughts swarmed your head, only continuing to feed your spiking heartbeat and dry throat. Your lack of response resulted in a weighted silence that rung heavily in your ears. Had Kuroo never actually wanted you around? He scoffed at your dumbfounded expression, "What're you waiting for...? Leave." "If I had known loving you only would leave me like this, I would've left sooner," you finally said, closing the door behind you.
:: BOKUTO KOUTARO ::
Going head-to-head with a powerful ace such as Bokuto would be terrifying to anyone - horrifying. He was an intimidating guy at first glance, but you've known him for years. Though, with the amount of colour rushing to his face from the anger entirely directed to you, it felt like you had only seen a glimpse. You were shaking violently under his gaze, tears cascading quietly down your cheeks, eyes blown wide open - it didn't matter what had started the fight, all you cared about was trying to get him to stop. "How could you of all people possibly understand!?!" I don't know, you wanted to sob, I don't know. "You're always clinging to me, Y/n, it's disgusting. I don't know how much more I can take." The finality and fury in his voice broke away at you as your legs gave out, leaving you a slumped against the kitchen counter with the weight of your world on your shoulders.
:: TSUKISHIMA KEI ::
"Kei, please-" "What. So, I'm the problem?" he spat out, irritated beyond relief, "That's information I wasn't aware of." You hissed at his words, frustrated tears clouding your vision, "Stop putting all of this on me! We're supposed to work this out together, like a couple, Kei, for fuck's sake!!" His eye twitched at your comment, "Then I think it's time to get a new damn boyfriend, Y/n, I'm done with this bullshit." You had no complaints, considering the amount of surprise that leapt into eyes when you shoved on your coat to leave. Tsukishima gave you one last panicked look, as you slammed the front door. His hand gently rested on the door knob to go after you - but what was the use? He was the one had pushed you out. He was just going to have to learn how to live with that...
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this was... weird.
the house was completely quiet, for the first time in what felt like weeks and osamu felt very out of place.
despite being so far removed from everyone besides his girlfriend, he enjoyed the noisiness and bustle that came from all the other members.
osamu never had been a fan of the quiet.
all it did was remind him that he was alone — that he was the lesser twin, the one always left behind, the one that would remain alone while his brother basked in the limelight.
but now, that wasn’t the case! osamu had meiko and he used to have daichi and iwaizumi but ever since iwa was fired and daichi disappeared off the face of the planet, he was down two friends. that was okay! his was doing what he loved with the woman he loved and that was all that mattered.
a loud clang followed by a quiet curse shook osamu from his thoughts. he gently placed the knife he was using to prep his vegetables down before following the noise to the pantry where he found... you.
you were sitting on the floor of the pantry wearing hello kitty patterned pajama pants, fuzzy socks, and a hoodie with your hand in a bag of chips and a pan sat by your foot. belatedly, osamu recognized that you must’ve knocked over the pan after falling while trying to grab your snack.
you were cute, with your sleep mussed hair and confused expression, he briefly thought but he swiftly squashed that line of reasoning down.
he was in a happy, committed relationship and he didn’t need you to change that like you changed everything else in his life. after all, you were the reason atsumu hated him now and never spoke to him anymore. you were the reason he had to avoid going home for fear of his grandmother asking what atsumu was up to because he had no idea. you were the reason he and his twin drifted apart. it was all you.
before osamu knew it, that moment of endearment had passed and was instead replaced by anger.
“what the hell are ya doin’ here?” osamu scoffed coldly, staring down at you with fire in his eyes. you sighed and stood before skirting past him and walking out into the kitchen.
“i live here asshole,” you muttered, searching for your phone in order to go back to hiding in your room until the boys got back. you wanted to avoid conflict as much as possible but unfortunately, osamu had different plans.
he slid out in front of you, keeping you from leaving the kitchen and effectively trapping you in the encounter. “ya know that’s not what i meant. what were ya doing spying on me? gonna report back to yer little harem?”
you felt your face curl up in confusion which osamu apparently wasn’t a fan of, judging by the deepening of his sneer. “i have no idea what you’re talking about osamu, now let me go.” you attempted to push past him but he was too tall, too large, too strong and you were forced further back behind the island.
“no, i know ya tell em things about me. what were ya gonna make up this time, hm? what were ya gonna say to tsumu to make him hate me even more?” he spoke down on you, his words filling with more and more venom, and as much as you hated it, you couldn’t keep yourself from cowering in front of him, your eyes filling with tears.
“osamu, please let me go, i don’t know what’s happening and i don’t know what to tell you to make you leave me alone,” your voice came out as a whimper, despite your best efforts and osamu faltered.
he’d never seen you like this, not once in your whole time living in the house, not even when most of the members were against you. you never showed weakness — you had a quiet strength most of the time and when you really got mad, as evidenced by your fight with meiko, you got violent.
but this? this was nothing like you. you were practically curling in on yourself, your arms wrapped around your chest protectively as if you were afraid he would... hit you.
oh god, oh god, osamu thought as he took a step back. what the fuck was he doing? he’d just been yelling at you, cornering you and not giving you room for escape, even though your body was clearly begging for it. you viewed him as a legitimate threat to your safety and that thought chilled him to the bone.
“yn, i—“ osamu was interrupted by the door slamming open, revealing everyone returning from the mall with atsumu at the head of the group.
“tsumu!” you choked out before pushing past a now distracted osamu and running right into his twin’s arms. he wrapped them protectively around you while whispering reassurances to you before pressing a soft kiss to your temple.
the two of you held a quiet conversation that no one else could hear but osamu could guess the contents when atsumu glared up at him, looking absolutely furious.
sakusa, kuroo, and kenma gently took you into their arms, allowing you to cry quietly while atsumu stomped over to osamu before jamming his finger into his twin’s chest.
“what the hell did ya do to her, samu?” he growled, shoving osamu’s back into the island behind him. osamu allowed him to, too in shock and ashamed to protest, much less fight back.
that didn’t stop atsumu from pressing, asking question after question, none of which osamu could answer. “answer me! open yer fuckin mouth asshole and answer me!”
“atsumu, i-i’m sorry, i-“
a force barreled into his chest, thin arms wrapping around his waist and shoving her face in between his pecs. “it’s okay baby, i’m here,” meiko whispered in between kisses to his collarbone, her presence doing little to soothe him as his eyes darted around the room.
atsumu still looked as angry as ever but he kept his mouth shut as meiko rubbed more of her makeup on osamu’s black t shirt in her attempts to comfort him. you were staring him down as well with tear tracks staining your cheeks as sakusa rubbed circles into your back and kenma wrapped his arms around your waist. sugawara, bokuto, and kuroo were standing at your sides, eyeing him with contempt while oikawa and akaashi were deep in conversation with yachi who seemed to be stressed out of her mind.
osamu searched further and his eyes landed on daichi standing the furthest away, his eyes fixed on where meiko lied in osamu’s arms, his face full of hurt and... disdain? anger? disgust?
it was confusing so osamu quickly averted his eyes, instead choosing to focus on the woman in his arms who was now whimpering and shaking in her 4 inch heels. hesitantly, he lifted his arms to hold her closer before bending his head to breathe her in, his eyes fluttering shut at her unique smell of hairspray, brown sugar perfume, and chinese food.
“osamu,” sugawara spoke up after a moment of silence, “there’s something i need to tell you. we saw meiko ki-“
“babe? what’s going on?” a new voice rang out from the still open doorway, meiko clearly recognizing it as her head darted up to watch as the group moved from the door to reveal...
℗ poker face
an - AHAHAHHAAH >:3 i was wayyy too excited for this chapter muahahha also so many of y’all guessed suna right but i couldn’t answer cs i rlly wanted it to be a surprise!!!! soooo if u guessed it right, feel like a baddie :) KSJ m so so excited to see y’all’s reactions so don’t forget to feed me ;)))))
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
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the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
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When you sleep on the couch after an argument part 2(Kuroo, Sakusa)
part one part three
genre: angst fluff
word count: 2.5K
AN: so thanks Alice for the help w the Kuroo one even tho the execution of this was definitely not my plan. And tee I used ur sakusa idea but um I wrote that part all on my phone so it may not make sense anyways hope you enjoy lmk what u think
Reblogs are very appreciated
“I wasn’t flirting with her,” Kuroo said to you trailing behind you out of the car as you storm into your house, “I was just being nice”
“Well if that’s you being nice, I’d hate to see you when you’re actually trying to flirt,” you scoffed rolling your eyes, jamming your keys in your front door entering your house closing the door behind you as if your husband wasn’t there, leaving him outside making him gulp realising how mad you were.
You felt embarrassed, nearly tearing up at the idea of your husband being bold enough to flirt with another woman right in front of you as if you weren’t there, as if you being his wife didn’t matter anymore. Humiliation couldn’t even describe what you experienced as you stood there like Kuroo’s docile wife, practically allowing him to woo her as you remained silent, seething at the interaction but letting it happen anyways.
“Y/N,” you jumped slightly hearing your husband's voice as he spoke in a hushed tone, “are you alright?”
You didn’t know how to answer that properly, because were you alright? Were you content with watching Kuroo talk to someone like he used to talk to you, with a debonair smile and witty remarks. Were you fine with voicing your frustrations to your husband, have him listen but not fully hear you.
“I think we should go to bed,” you said barely above a whisper disregarding his question because no you were not “alright,” but you didn’t have the energy in you to voice it to Kuroo knowing it would lead to a deeper conversation that you weren’t ready to have.
He nodded, agreeing that sleeping on things would be a good way to lessen the brewing tension. But Kuroo couldn’t shake the urge to just discuss things right away, solve the problem at hand and find out why you’ve been so ‘off’ with him recently. He was frozen in thought and didn’t register you mumbling “I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight,” until he saw the hallway light turn off and you not enter the bed he was standing next to.
“Y/N,” he calls out, turning onto the hallway light already seeing you wrapped up on the couch in your spare blankets, and when he stepped closer to you he heard you sniffling slightly as if you were crying. “Y/N,” he repeats again knowing you're definitely awake and you freeze in your spot as if it would hide Kuroo from seeing you in your crying state.
You feel him walk past the couch slightly and instead of sitting down on the couch, he lays down on the floor next to the couch instead and usually you’d laugh at your husbands antics but you didn’t this time you peaked your head out of the blanket cocoon you made for yourself and stared at him.
“What are you doing Tetsurou?” you asked.
“What are you doing Y/N?” he responded back quickly as if you’ve just entered a game with each other, both of you dancing around the issue you know each of you are dying to discuss. You roll your eyes and turn your body so you’re not on your side facing him and now on your back staring up at the ceiling instead.
You waited a beat not knowing what to say again, stumped at the question he asked because, “what are you doing?” But instead of deviating from the question you responded with “what do you mean?”
“C’mon Y/N, you’ve been ‘off’ with me for a while now just distant and stuff,” he said with a sigh “even today when I complimented that girls dres-”
“You were flirting with her,” you said a bit louder than intended.
“All I did was call her pretty?” he questioned, still confused on how that was a problem.
“But why her?” you forced out “why not me?”
There was a slight pause as Kuroo started to register your words getting more perplexed as you got more frustrated, but he didn’t want this to just get swept under the rug he wanted this to be solved “Baby I don’t really get what you’re saying right now?” he said hoping that you wouldn’t close up on him and ignore the situation.
Your breath hitched and you felt a knot form in your throat, your face heating up in self-consciousness feeling like you want to cry. “It’s just..” you choke out a stray tear running down your face, but thankfully due to Kuroo laying on your ground and you staring at the ceiling he couldn’t see it.
“Just…?” he said softly, gesturing to you to continue speaking.
“You don’t compliment me anymore,” you said and already felt pathetic just by saying the sentence aloud but you continued to speak anyways, “I just feel like you don’t love me anymore don’t want me...at least not like you used to.”
“But I compliment you all the time?” he said more to himself and he laid there and thought for a bit and realised that actually he can’t remember the last time he did compliment you, not like did before when he used to spend each day trying out a lame pick up line on you knowing it would make you laugh just so he could see you smile. “Y/N I-”
“I don’t know why I’m making a big deal about this but it just makes me question things about me, about us really,” you continued to speak forgetting that Kuroo was actually there now just venting out the issues you’ve been dealing with on your own for a while, “and just when you slowly started to stop acting like you used to act with me I don’t know I thought we became one of those couples who fall out of love before they’re in their thirties because you find me too unattractive or something and just didn’t know how to tell me.” Tears were really streaming down your face now and you didn’t care now to wipe them away, you finally voiced your frustrations to your husband and a weight was lifted off your shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” was the first thing he said and you thought that was all he was going to say before he continued with, “I’m really sorry I made you feel that way, so sorry and I don’t know why I stopped complimenting you and that it lead to you feeling that I don’t love you or find you hot, because I do every day like everytime i see you my heart literally stops, so I’m sorry have been a shitty husband because I truly do find you gorgeous,”
“Really?” you said turning to him so you could see his face.
“Definitely,” he confirmed his usual smirk re-appearing on his face, “even when you’re tear stained and snotty,” he said referring to your current appearance making you chuckle at the comment.
“So…” he said awkwardly, not knowing where to go from here as he was happy that he finally got to the bottom of what’s been bothering you, but still felt terrible that he was the cause of this all and he knew the problem wouldn’t be solved straight away but he wanted to know that he was in a good place to start proving that he actually loves you again.
“I love you Tetsu,” you said randomly, but it made sense to the both of you and made him smile now knowing your relationship wasn’t completely doomed, “but I think i'm going to stay on the couch tonight.” You weren’t still mad at him, but you didn’t want to rush straight into bed with him like everything was perfect again and Kuroo was content with that.
“Well I'm staying here,” he said, already yawning.
“What do you mean here?” you questioned, thinking he was going to clamor his big body onto yours which definitely wouldn’t leave enough room for you both on the couch. “Tetsu,” you said, after not getting an answer but when you looked down on the ground your husband was already knocked out asleep, softly snoring away as he lay on the hard rock floor. You threw one of your spare blankets over his body and whispered a soft goodnight smiling as you slept.
The next few days were still a bit awkward, with you and Kuroo still trying to get back into the romantic dynamic you had with each other and after some uneasiness and terrible pickup lines you found yourself feeling adored by Kuroo like how you were before and whenever you did feel down or insecure you didn’t bottle it in you expressed your feelings to your husband and he was more than happy to do his best to make you feel better.
You loved going on dates with your boyfriend, whether it was small ones to your local cafe or being wined and dined at a fancy restaurant. However it seems Sakusa only liked going on “dates” with you that were in your local area ones that didn’t take much effort or thought into. You don’t mind those small dates but you did want to feel like Sakusa just wanted to take you out and show you off every once in a while or at least plan something out for you.
“I don’t know why you’re so pressed about the issue Y/N,” he said, rubbing his face in his hands, stressed out by the whole situation.
“Because you aren’t understanding why I'm so ‘pressed,’ Kiyoomi,” you retorted back, getting more annoyed as the conversation progressed.
“I just don’t think that it’s such a big deal to be upset over” he sighed looking up at you, “I don’t think you’re getting what i’m saying,”
“What’s not to get,” you said rolling your eyes “just say you don’t want to go on dates with me”
“When did I say that” he responded now confused on where you came to this conclusion.
“You didn’t need too,” you complained “it’s whatever I guess”
“But Y/N that’s not what I-“ he tried to reason but sighed giving up knowing you probably wouldn’t listen to what he was going to stay “it’s nearly 1 am and I’ve got practice, so I should sleep”
“Yeah you should,” you agreed mindlessly “I’ll be there in a minute” you were still frustrated thinking that this problem would only continue to cycle over and over again not actually solving it.
You didn’t know why Sakusa didn’t want to go anywhere that wasn’t in your local area or do something that was little to no effort. You did assume that since he was a professional volleyball player he may not want to be seen publicly with you, but Sakusa isn’t like that right?
10 minutes had passed and you knew Sakusa was already in bed and you didn’t really want to sleep next to him when you had unresolved issues, but you didn’t want to wake him up just to bring the issues up at 1 in the morning. So, you sat and pondered and decided that sleeping on the couch was the best option for the night.
The couch was very stiff and painful, serving more hurt then comfort and you considered if it would be better to just sleep on the hard wooden floor or just suck up your frustrations with your boyfriend and just get in bed with him. But you decided to lay on the couch knowing that you’re definitely going to feel the consequences of sleeping there in the morning.
Sakusa woke up a few hours later, in need of drink not even noticing you weren’t in bed with him until he saw you on the couch, wincing at the look of the uncomfortable position you were in as you slept. He was confused as to why you were actually on the couch, still in a sleep-like state, until he remembered he didn’t actually see you get into bed with him and he realised you did have an argument beforehand, but was it that bad that you had to sleep on your own.
He tried to creep back to the bedroom but he was loud enough to wake you up freezing when he sees you stir awake. “Y/N what are you doing on the couch?”
You gave him a small glare and tucked yourself back into your blankets mumbling “didn’t want to sleep next to you.”
“You’re so childish Y/N” he says with an eye roll inching closer to you though so you could talk, “I still don’t get why you were so upset earlier.”
“And this is why I’m sleeping out here,” you mumbled more to yourself but loud enough for him to hear you.
He sighed saying, “for god sake Y/N just talk yo me” his voice raised a little alerting you, but you weren’t scared just suprised how frustrated Sakusa was beginning to get.
“Do you care about me?” You asked and you could see the confusion wash over your boyfriends face immediately, as random as the question sounded you needed to ask him so you can finally talk.
“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”
“It doesn’t seem like it…” you said “just how today when I suggested we go get dressed up and go to this new restaurant how reluctant and disgusted you seemed of the idea I don’t know it just feels like you don’t want to be seen with me publicly or you don’t care enough about me to try and show that.”
“Oh” he was all he said, he never really thought about your dates or lack thereof in the way that you did, as you live together and are around each other for majority of the time he didn’t really see a need for planned out extravagant dates when he just liked all the time you spent with each other, “I didn’t know you felt this way.”
“Yeah I got that,” you said still bitter, but hopeful that he finally understood where you were coming from.
“I do really care about you Y/N I just didn’t see a need for those types of dates since we’re with each other all the time,” he said “but knowing how much you’d like those we can definitely compromise on where we go on dates” you smiled at his words nodding in content.
“So I’m sorry for not listening to you properly,” he finished “now are you coming back to bed or are you going to continue letting your back break on our stuff ass couch” he held out his hand to you and you grabbed it happily letting him pull you to bed.
“For our next date we’re going to spa” you mumbled into his chest.
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look at me
a series of drabbles
suna x reader
summary: things between you and suna rintaro ended horribly. but when you end up meeting him over 1 year later, he swears to do everything he can in order to win you back. although the breakup tore you apart, why does the sound of suna’s name still give you butterflies?
one; on the train
two; lead to the end
three; wasn’t enough
answered asks; [look at me]
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When he doesn’t realise you're sick
Pairing: Sakusa x gn!reader
Genre: angst to fluff
a/n: why be sick when you can be dramatic lol I’m not very familiar with Sakusa but I thought I could give it a try hope you like it
You had a rough week at work, the work load doubled and it started taking it’s toll on you
You weren’t feeling too well, you had a slight fever and a huge headache and all you wanted to do was just go home and sleep
You had a lot to do around the house before your boyfriend got home at the end of the day
He likes coming home to a clean house after work, so you needed to tidy some things up and make dinner too
However when you got home, you black out on the sofa from exhaustion
Kiyoomi had an equally tiring day, and his phobia was at its max after some fans pushed themselves on him
The team stepped in but the damage was already done
Kiyoomi opens the door to your shared apartment, stepping in exhaustedly. As he walks through the hall he notices how messy the apartment is, this only worsens his mood, making him more frustrated than he already was.
He makes his way to the kitchen expecting dinner to be done, but is met with nothing. All he wants is a clean house and something to eat. Is that so hard to do? He asks himself, letting out a grunt and gripping his hair in frustration.
He searches the house for you, growing more irritable. He screams your name a few times. He finds you laying on the sofa, passed out and still wearing the clothes you’ve been in all day. He calls out your name one last time, waking you up with his fierce tone.
You shoot up from the couch after being startled by his sudden outburst, but sit right back down. Standing up so fast made the whole room spin. You bring your hand to your face in an attempt to focus your thoughts before turning to Kiyoomi.
“Hey, Omi. What’re you doing home so early?” He scoffs at the question, adding on to the confusion you were feeling. After finally composing yourself, you stand up again and make your way to him. You realise that something is wrong as soon as you meet his dark eyes glaring down at you.
“‘Early’? You’re joking, right? It’s already dinner time.”
You're taken by surprise as you remember you haven’t done anything you were supposed to. You turn your head to the clock on the wall, confirming your fear. “I’m so sorry. I came home exhausted and accidentally fell asleep.”
“Well you’re not the only one who’s exhausted, y/n,” he snaps back. You freeze, realising how upset he is. Next thing you know, he’s making his way to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
You follow after him, using the wall as a support for your heavy and burning figure. You apologise again and again, mentally cursing yourself for not doing something so simple.
“Baby, leave it. Go take a shower first, I’ll have it ready before you’re done.” You tell him in hopes that he’ll listen and that he’ll cool off in the shower. You understand he’s upset but his attitude isn’t helping.
He brushes passed you without noticing how you’re leaning your body against the wall or how you’re face is slightly flushed. Then, you hear the door to the bathroom slam shut.
You let out a sigh of relief before staggering to the counter. You feel your head pounding once again but do your best to put it off until dinner is done. The bathroom door opens again, alerting you of the footsteps making their way towards the kitchen.
“Y/n, seriously? Where are the towels?” You turn to see Kiyoomi standing at the door way with furrowed brows. Mentally cursing at yourself one more time, you hobble to the dryer to get one of the towels from the pile you were supposed to fold and put away.
Watching the way you lacked stability as you made your way toward him, he finally notices something’s off. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?” You force a smile from your lips, handing him the towel.
“Oh, I’m—” but before finishing your sentence, he is startled by how your eyes roll to the back of your head and you fall to the floor. He is quick to react at the sudden event and wraps one arm around your shoulders and the other around your waist to prevent you from hitting the ground.
All the anger and frustration he was feeling a second ago completely disappeared. He is now panicking, unable to comprehend the situation as he looks at your unconscious figure in his arms. He shakes you lightly trying to wake you up, but it was to no avail.
He, then, notices your hitched breathing and your flushed face. He places his hand on your forehead, parting his lips at the heat it’s radiating. The fact that he is only realising this now is making it hard to breathe as guilt begins swallowing him up whole.
You open your eyes to a familiar ceiling and the unmistakable softness of your couch. As you start to come to your senses, you feel a certain coolness on your forehead. You sit up slowly, letting the cooling pad fall on your lap.
To your right is your boyfriend sat on the floor, sleeping in a you-could-only-assume slightly uncomfortable position, holding onto your hand tightly. You trying removing it swiftly, but end up waking him in the process.
He’s head snaps in your direction as he feels your hand move. Your eyes meet his concerned ones. “What happened?” As you ask, his eyes begin to glisten as he tries to stop the tears pricking at the back of his eyes from overflowing.
“Well, you had a really high fever and fainted.” You could hear his voice waver as he tries to get the words out. He proceeds to tell you you’ve been out for a couple of hours.
“Ah, I see. Wait… what about dinner?” Kiyoomi gets on his feet and heads in the direction of the kitchen, coming back with a bowl of porridge and settling at the edge of the couch in front of your legs.
He places the bowl on the table and hands you one of your hair ties he brought on the way back. Then, hands it to you, remembering you don’t like eating with your hair down as it always gets in the way. “No, I meant yours...”
“It’s fine, I already ate mine.” His tone came out harsher than he intended and soon notices your expression turn glum. “Hey! Don’t make that face, it’s not your fault.” His eyes shifts to his lap, unable to shake the guilt, “I'm sorry I didn’t realise you were sick.”
You take in the genuineness of his words, but remain silent nonetheless. He lifts he’s head as you reach for the porridge cooling on the table. He hands it to you, carefully, and you begin to eat.
After a few bites you hand it back to him, gesturing for him to try some too. “Why does it taste like that?” Kiyoomi is baffled at the inedible substance in front of him.
His confused expression makes you unable to hold back, resulting in you releasing a light chuckle. His eyes light up at the sound as if it were music to his ears. “It’s not that bad. It’s alright considering it’s your first time.”
“I’m sorry, for not taking care of you and for not helping you out more,” he says pulling you into his arms. You embrace him back, placing your chin on his shoulder and rubbing his back in reassurance.
With all that’s been happening the past few weeks, this was the first time in a while you two got to forget about anything and everything other than the two of you. Both of you enjoyed every second of that moment.
“How about we try making it together next time.”
“I’d like that.” He gives you a relieved smile and you two end the night by falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
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「 CRY FOR ME 」 ♡ ACT IX : ALWAYS
PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader.
GENRE : Angst.
TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Friends with Benefits. Not very canon compliant.
SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō
BEGGING U SERIOUSLY PS PS PS PLEASE LOOK AT THIS NOTE : Very raw. Very emotional. Probably not in a way you expect it to but I want to say read everything before you say anything about the characters and their decisions. I wanted it to be as realistic as possible. Not everything happens the way we want it to as outsiders and situations may be a lot more difficult than we think hehe just saying this was so hard, so emotional to write. I hope you guys enjoy all 5.8k of it!
TAGLIST : CLOSED
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Suna wouldn't call himself smart but he liked to believe he wasn't stupid either. A lot of people think he's very tactical, incredibly street smart, good with a lot of things. He's a fast learner, that's for sure. He usually accomplishes a lot of things without trying too hard as long as he's learned it properly. Volleyball was one of the very few things he felt as though his brain was working overtime—going around blocks, reading the opponent's movements, he always felt exhausted mentally after a match. Not to mention, he's practically the top scorer of the team.
However, right now, as his fingers grip the steering wheel of his car with another lady by his side, he couldn't help but feel like he's the one thing he never imagined himself to be—stupid.
It was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. The ring on her necklace threw him off guard and the next thing he knew, he was taking her invitation despite having pre-existing plans. The view of the familiar black line running along the edge of her pendant, the gleam he's very used to seeing blinks at him almost mockingly—filling him up to the brim until he feels like he could snap.
There were too many questions in his head—maybe that's what prompted this decision. He wanted to find the answers no matter what, solve the clawing feelings in his chest as they try to push right out of him, find the missing piece of the puzzle he couldn't fully complete. He was determined to get through with it. His head had been blank at that time and the only thing in his mind was the fact that he had to be alone with Yura no matter what. She might be the key to everything. More than the ring hanging on her neck, she's giving him the opportunity to have her all to himself.
The only thing on his mind then was taking it.
Yet, his chest felt so heavy when he saw the look on your face. The moment he turned around, you were backing away from him like he's a fire that's been scorching you painfully. He saw the way it looked like you could crumble on the floor—but your fingers were wrapping around his arm, telling him it's okay to go and leave you behind. He could see it was taking all of you to take another second behind the strong facade you're trying so hard to keep. Your eyes slowly lose life at the betrayal and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He's dangerously close to losing one thing or the other.
He swears he wanted to choose you, no matter what. But something in him shouts that he has to pick Yura before he could decide on anything else. Maybe after this, he'd be able to choose you—have you, if you'd have him, that is. He felt like he lost all his chance with you now.
His skin stings at the leather of his steering wheel. Yura's getting too comfortable in his passenger seat—pressing things on his stereo and picking a song to fill up the space. Of course, she'd choose something slow and sensual. Somehow, even without a single thing happening, he felt it was so inappropriate. But he didn't say a thing and let her be.
She keeps making small talks with him, forcing him to mutter equally small replies of hmms and yeahs. He doesn’t know why she's acting too civil with him. He hadn't talked to her in a year—since that day her phone blinked Sakusa Kiyoomi on his bedside table. When he confronted her about it, she didn't waste time breaking off whatever was between them.
Truthfully, Suna believed it wouldn't mean anything—that he'd have her sprawled naked on his bed after a week or two. After all, he's been on and off with her for almost 5 years. Other girls come and go—guys, on her part, but they always found a way to back to fuck each other out of their minds when they were together. He thought this was another one of those instances. Suna didn't imagine the next time he'd be having her in his car is today, a whole year later.
Her fingers were gripping his forearm as she dragged him through one of the boutiques she wanted to see, feet skipping lightly over the hard pavement with glee in her eyes as she looked back at her shoulder to make sure he's following close by.
"Yura," Suna begins, fingers hovering over her wrist to tug her hold off. But, he decides against it—politely asking his ex-friends-with-benefits instead. "Yura, go on your own. Be quick with it."
She halts in her joyful bounce at that, slowly turning over to face Suna with a look on her face. One that says she's not happy to hear that. What did she want him to say? He drove her around because she said she needed it. Along with that are his personal issues he needed to solve within him and that's why he reluctantly went along with her schemes. Yet, he's not here to play friends. Not in the mood to act casual as though everything is okay. It's been a year since he's even talked to her and she's not available enough to be acting comfortable with him. Her actions make Suna flinch inwardly, bitter taste in his mouth as he watches her face go dim.
Granted, her sudden disappearance on him landed a huge blow. It took a lot more in him than he'd ever admit. He saw her everywhere the first few months, smelled her in everyone he's attracted to. Yura is beautiful. And for a while, she was his. All his. Then, all of a sudden, she's a band-aid being ripped away from his skin. It stung. There was a stupid burn, a terrible itch he couldn't scratch. That sounds pathetic, now. When you imagine him in a slump because a woman dumped him for the man he greatly dislikes, it doesn't sound like Suna Rintarō'.
But that was him a few months ago. Truly, horribly, sadly.
Yura stuck to him so nicely. No amount of washing her off ever made her grip on him loosen. He wanted her. Even as he saw her walking hand in hand, happy and in love with his rival, he wanted her. To him, it was normal to have her around with a single call—no matter who she was fucking the past couple of weeks. He used her as much as she used him. But suddenly, she's in the hands of someone he couldn't look down on even if he tried. Sakusa Kiyoomi is good-looking, tall, rich. He's just as much as him. If he looked down on Sakusa, he'd be looking down on himself. Even he knew that.
He pursued her so badly deep in his heart. He wanted to steal her back. He'd be at the parties they always attended. He'd always be in them because he's in the same industry as her boyfriend. He would always come alone and be far from her but he'd dress so nicely, everyone looks at him the moment he enters the doors, all for the wishful thinking that she'd come running back to him.
Truthfully, Yura probably caught on but why would she look anywhere when she has another man on her side? One equally as much of a scene-stealer. His lone rival. It's fucking humiliating. He's alone, too. What a joke. No way he'd ever steal her back like this.
Then, you'd arrived like his guardian angel. Suddenly, you were there to present yourself. Now, he won't be attending these parties alone. You'd be by his side and Yura would be stuck thinking the same things he once did. You're so beautiful, so amazing, gorgeous—God, you'd have all the men in your feet if you ever let them.
Perfect. You were the perfect person to use.
He needed you and you needed him. You'd use each other so dirtily and throw each other aside the moment it's all said and done.
"Yura," he repeats, tone exasperated. "I have plans. Make it quick."
The firmness in his tone makes her flinch. He couldn't care less right now, unfortunately. All he wanted was to go back to the cabin. Find you, apologize no matter how many fucking times it takes, have dinner with you, sleep with you. His mind keeps running with thoughts of you—racing, throbbing. It was almost painful how much you fill him up. His chest pounds without rhythm. The image of you in his head makes his heart break. He wants to go back to you. Yura is making this whole thing impossible.
"Rin, I just want you to come with me," she whispers, grip on him tightening and it makes his jaw clench.
He doesn't reply to her.
He wants to go back to you.
"I'll be waiting for you here. Go," words to push her away were the only things he had the energy to speak of.
He just wants to go back.
When did it start? When you opened the front doors of your home to a silky red dress hanging so beautifully on your body so perfectly he felt like he could faint? When he watched you pick from the rows of instant noodles before smiling shyly towards him when he paid for your things? When you let him take that very same red dress off your shoulders and kissed him with your lip that was equally as red?
When did he start wanting nobody else but you?
You fit so nicely against him. Every nook, every curve, every corner—his hands find a place. Your neck, your breasts, your hips—you fit him like you're the puzzle piece he's always been looking for to make himself complete. Your warmth when he's inside you melts away all the hardness in his heart. It sounds like a cliché love story you hear all the time but he gets so sappy when he wakes up to see your face pressed on his arms. He thinks, he wants nothing more than to wake up to that very same face for the rest of his life. To feel the warmth until he's nothing but a cold corpse—no, even then he'd look for you. He believes he'd survive off holding your hand forever, and he will, as long as you'd let him.
But he's messed up. He's insane. There are parts of him that aren't fixed, aren't clear. He's supposed to clear the fog today. When he decided to leave you alone for the lunch he promised he'd take you to, he swore in his heart he wouldn't leave without an answer.
Unsurprisingly, it came earlier than he thought.
Yura's touch was nowhere near as warm as yours. Her grip on his forearm didn't fit like it was meant to be there—it was awkward, he wanted to shake it off. He wouldn't dream of holding her hand again even for a second. The stupid ring hanging on her neck was a familiar tug in his heart—but that's about it. Yura's eyes haven't gleamed the way they always used to the moment he saw her again in the cabin. Honestly, Suna couldn't even tell if he just imagined that it was even gleaming in the first place because when he saw your eyes so closely for the first time—when you were pressing up to him in the middle of the park the first time you asked him to play a role, his breath hitched so sharply he could feel it rattle his bones.
It was the first time he's ever seen something truly shine.
He's known for the longest time. He just had to find himself before he could have you. He's always been awake from his delusions with Yura but he wanted to see her again, so closely like she used to. Now that she is, he wanted nothing more than to be far away from her.
He didn't love her.
He probably never has.
She was a constant. Someone who was always a part of his life. He shared so many firsts with her—maybe that's why it was so hard to let her go. She was his teenage crush, a fever dream. So many highs they basically never come down. It was always adrenaline with Yura. It was fun. It suited his life then. He was so young, so carefree. He's so curious, so eager. She took his hand amidst all that.
If he forgot her too quickly, he would seem like a pushover—a simpleton. And he isn't. That's why he stuck with her for so long. Suna felt like the rush was cut off when she left him. He wasn't ready to mature, settling down was far too hard. He wanted the sex, the parties, the fact that being with Yura meant no commitments and no consequences. She was plaguing his mind like she was a part of him. It was way too difficult to stay away from her. If anyone understood and matched his energy, it would be her. He was free. He had volleyball and a beautiful woman by his side. Someone who didn't want commitment—who never wanted commitment It was such an easy thing.
She would always be by his side as he would always be at hers. They were each other's indispensable needs. What the other wants, the other gets. She's the only one suited enough to show him all he wants to see because she'd never leave him. She'd be all he needs.
Or at least, that's what Suna believed.
What he held onto for years.
That's why when she was gone, stripped away from him so suddenly. He felt like he was thrust back to the time when he let the woman he wanted slip from his fingers. It was so sudden. He hasn't come to terms with his feelings, then, as well. What more, she was with Sakusa.
It ignited so much in him. He was mad, furious. He thought, he would do anything to keep her away from his nemesis. There was a strong fire in him that couldn't be calmed. He wanted to take her back, more as a result of his little feud with Sakusa than his feelings with Yura, so he'd been looking for that opening—that opportunity that will make him secure her.
He couldn't let Sakusa get in between him and the woman he wants.
And he's been so blinded by that envy and rage. It was so easy to mistake them for his feelings. When you do everything in your power to steal back a woman, you would think that was a result of love. No one ever interprets it as the burning rage and envy that consumes him to see his nemesis taking away the one woman who was able to give him all the immaturity and adrenaline he needs without question. No one thinks it's a result of his refusal to have Sakusa steal yet another woman he's interested in.
It was so confusing to the point he's confused himself for the longest time.
Perhaps that’s another reason he's with her right now.
He needed to put an end to whatever he thought he felt with her.
He's spent such few months with you, nothing like the years he did with Yura, but you find yourself a space in his heart way bigger than he's ever let anyone have. Yura was the only woman who has ever stayed past a single night in his life. There were many girls, many of them come and go. He wasn't interested. He barely is with anybody. Perhaps that's why it's so easy to distinguish love from infatuation and attraction.
He's attracted to Yura, incredibly so. Infatuation is a light word when he had no one to compare her to.
When you came, however, the distinction was clearer than the clearest of waters. One look and he could tell. He was never in love with Yura.
Yura made his heart beat, so fast, so good. But he never felt her anywhere that's outside of his bedroom. You make his heart pound. It was almost painful how your smile felt like his rib cages were bruising from beating too hard. When he closes his eyes and remembers the color of your eyes, the most beautiful of its shade he's ever seen, his skin is tingling with the memories of how you look at him. Your scent seems to be his most favorite thing in the world. He couldn't imagine someone could smell so simple but so good. It's like he's been looking for the way you fit around him his entire life when it was the first time he's ever held you in his arms.
He was never in love with Yura.
She walked outside one of the stores, paper bags hanging on her wrist as she walks over to him with a frown. "I finished buying the stuff I need." She stops, hesitating as she watches the look on his face. "Do you want to grab some coffee?"
Oh. He would. He'd grab coffee with her and get you food. Maybe some bagels and your favorite variation of iced coffee. Perhaps you'd like cheesecake too. You always mentioned it to him. He thought it was endearing how your eyes lit up. It was one of the many things he loves about you.
"Sure," he grabs the paper bag from her, leaving her behind as he walks over to unlock his car. She hooked her arms around his after catching up with a light run, one he shook off almost immediately.
He didn't want to be near her for multiple reasons.
One, he at least respected Sakusa's relationship with her enough to not let her get too close to her ex-friends-with-benefits. Two, he simply didn't want her to. Three, he wasn't in love with her. Neither does he like her enough to feel anything about it.
It was always you.
The house was a lot more boisterous when he came in. The others seem to have returned home and are preoccupied with their respective hobbies. He asked Yura to go on ahead of him, he trusted her to give her boyfriend a good enough alibi. He didn't want to be caught in between their relationship and give Sakusa a reason to worry.
He had nothing to worry about.
It was a little later when they arrived. The line in the café was long but he was at least thankful that she stopped attempting any small talks with him. She's known him long enough to be able to tell that he didn't want to start a conversation with her. Surely, she must also think there's a lot left to talk about but it failed to matter with Suna. They ended a year ago, back when he found out she's been going out with him, and there's no reason for him to bring any of what they used to be back—especially not with a taken woman.
He passed by Osamu in the living room, the grey-haired twin's eyes flying over to his fingers half-buried in his pocket—possibly looking for the silver band on his finger. He wouldn't find it. Not this time. When their eyes meet, Osamu's eyes are filled with an emotion he couldn't exactly distinguish. But if he could guess, it was probably relief.
Nudging the door with his foot, his chest tightens at the sight of you curled up on the bed. Your eyes are shut tight and a crease on your forehead disrupts your usually peaceful features. Setting the paper bag of food down the bedside table, he sits on the edge of the bed—brushing the hairs away from your face and stroking your cheeks with his knuckles.
The coldness of his fingers jolts you awake, your eyes slowly adjusting to the faint light in the room. You could feel the difficulty in opening them, your eyes feel swollen and moist—a result of crying yourself to sleep. Blinking a couple more times, a figure you expected to see stares back at you. A frown on his face as he continues stroking your skin—jaw tight as he takes in the appearance of your tear-streaked face.
"Hey," he begins slowly, hesitation clear as he dips down to press a kiss on your forehead. His lips stay there for a second, probably way longer than that, before he's slipping his fingers beneath your head and lifting you up gently.
"Hi," you let him pull you upwards, staring at his eyes.
He doesn't waste any time, pulling you to his chest as you feel your tears start to flow mercilessly. His strong arms cage you to himself, holding you firmly as you feel yourself start to shake against him.
Neither of you speaks for a period of time. No one wants to acknowledge the fact that what you had is either ending or going much deeper than both of you planned.
It was a battle of finding out what the other feels. Silence is the answer to the questioning hearts, begging to find out if it's heartbreak or reciprocation waiting for them at the other side. No one feels like breaking the silence first, saying the three words that could potentially make or break your whole relationship with each other. It was hard to tell. Maybe it's the past holding both of you back, maybe it's the fear. Perhaps being unloved the first time was the last straw and the anxiety of it happening again keeps both of your tongues tied.
So, no one says anything.
The trip ends in two days.
It's only a matter of time.
If you only had that much left with each other, you wouldn't take the risk of ruining what you had. This is enough. For now. When the day after tomorrow comes, you'd be forced to find out—maybe by then you'd be strong enough to accept whatever it is that awaits you.
"Sorry," he whispers for the nth time. He's cradling your head, pressing kisses to your hair. "I'm sorry. I'm an asshole. I'm sorry, baby."
He's so gentle when he says that, it extinguishes the anger that never existed in you in the first place. Being mad at him when he went with her was such an easy thing to imagine. You thought you'd be furious. Hell, anyone should be furious. But when you were actually in front of it, watching the scene unfold, looking at the way his eyes slowly go through all kinds of emotions at the sight of the ring on her necklace—you couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad. Not at all. Even as he abandons your plans. Even as he left you alone.
You had felt broken. It was terrible. Looking back at it now, you probably cried yourself to dehydration. Your throat feels dry, stretching over the flesh when you try to form coherent words to speak. The dried tears on your cheeks are hard to hide. Especially when they had been falling over and over following the same trail the first one had.
But, that was about all you felt about the situation.
People would probably think you're stupid. Maybe in some cases, they're right. But you couldn’t help it. It's cheesy to say. A lot of people would think it's inexcusable, yet you couldn’t help but agree with the fact that love turns you into a different person.
Had this happened months ago, you would've left him in a heartbeat. If this was any man other than him, you would've gone in a blink. However, it's happening now. And it's happening with him. Your heart hurt at the thought of letting the last few days pass away from him. There's so much desperation in you. It was ruining you but you couldn't run away from it.
It's easy for people to look at you and call you pathetic. Truthfully? If you weren’t where you are right now, you'd agree with them. But it doesn't matter. You wanted to forgive him. You'd forgive him tonight, tomorrow, the day after that. You'd keep doing it until you don't need to forgive him because he'd be gone from you. He'd slip through your fingers just as easily as he came. It's pathetic. Love makes you pathetic. Love makes you all kinds of things you didn’t want to be. All kinds of people you'd look at from a distance and scorn at any day. It's easy, isn't it? To do it, to believe that way, to have an idea of how one should act when you're not the one experiencing it.
They'd never understand how it consumes someone to watch the days go by, the clock ticking and eating away every single chance you have with someone you love. They'd never get how you'd gladly suffer the consequences of your actions, if it meant you'd see a genuine smile on his face. They wouldn't know what it's like to have the regret of setting up a whole plan that you didn’t know would be the very same thing that would tear you apart.
There are too many what-ifs. Too many of them. What if you didn’t come up to Suna Rintarō that day? What if you didn't want to break Yura and Omi apart? What if you were content? What if you weren’t in love with Suna?
All of them remain as they are.
'Cause right now, you’re here.
And there isn't much you can do about it.
"Wanna go out with me?" Suna mumbles in your ear, slowly pulling you away from him to look at your face. "Are you hungry? I'd take you out to dinner."
You don't have to think about it.
You'd say yes in a heartbeat.
No matter where, no matter when.
You have two days left to love him.
You would at least make it worth the while.
He's just like he was the past few days. Both of you tried to ignore the hanging tension in the air as much as you can. It's inevitable to completely act like it wasn’t there but you could at least try.
He's gentle. Gentler than he ever was with you. He held your hand so tightly, thumb smoothing over your knuckles as he drives you to a restaurant. He lets you pick the music, laughing as you struggle to connect the Bluetooth with your phone, and helps you with it. He smiled afterward, pulling you over the center console to press a kiss on your lips—as if he's proud of you.
His compliments never failed in giving you butterflies. He called you beautiful when you got dressed up the first time, gorgeous as he watched you walk to his car, stunning when he helped you down. He said you smelled great, your hair looks perfect, and your smile is amazing.
"You're so beautiful," he tells you across the table, while you're scooping mashed potatoes into your spoon. His voice makes you stop midway. "You're always beautiful."
"Thank you, Rin," you tell him with a smile, bashful and awkward as you bend your head down. "You told me countless times already."
"I need to keep telling you," he reasons, quickly and without a trace of bluff. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
That made you jump, eyes meeting his in a state of confusion. It hurt to push the next words out of your tongue, but you did it nonetheless. "More than her?"
He could tell who you were referring to. The fact that you're bringing her up on a dinner date made his throat tighten. "The most beautiful," he repeats, more sternly this time. "More than anyone."
"You too, Rin," you hold his stare, smile lightly stretching over your features. "More than anyone."
"And you make me happy," Suna's rambling. He knows he is. But your eyes are beautiful. And the night is calm. The food is great and the music of the restaurant is perfect. They push the thoughts right out of him. "You make me so happy I think of you when I fall asleep."
He cuts you off, continuing. "And when I wake up. And when I'm not in bed. Every time."
"Rin," you feel your lips trembling. You felt so exposed. His words feel so raw. The conversation feels like it came out of nowhere but at the same time, it feels so right. Like if there was the perfect place, the perfect time, this would be it. "You too. You make me so happy."
"No, I hurt you," he says it as a matter of fact. "Over and over again and you forgive me. Hell, I'm an asshole. I do all kinds of questionable things and I fail to be someone who gives you what you deserve and you still forgive me. You're such a good person it's fucking driving me mad."
He's running a hand through his hair now. He feels agitated. There are so many things he wants to say and no idea how. He felt like confessing but the fear eats him up. The words die so quickly. The fire was put out too fast. He can't say it.
"I don't regret doing it."
"I know, princess," he reaches a hand out to you, covering your smaller ones with his. There was a smile in his tone, like he knows you'll say that. You are a good person no matter what, even if you shouldn't be at times.
"I—," you look away from him, eyes downcast and bottom lip pulled between your teeth. "I don't want you to go, Rin. That's why."
He feels like he's gonna break apart. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Please don't." You sound so small.
"Do you, really?" The hopeful look in your eyes, the fear in them—he swears he could feel himself losing breath by the second. He doesn’t want to see you cry.
And he's never been more sure of anything his entire life.
"Yes, princess. God, yes."
He sounds out of breath. Like he's chasing after something neither of you could see. It sounds like a confession. To you, to him. It feels like a declaration of feelings. It's another step closer. Another step closer until fear eats both of you up at the same time.
It's frustrating. Just confess, God. You wanted to tell yourself. He wanted to tell himself. Unknowingly to both sides, you both want to confess. So badly. Neither of you knows why it's so hard. Is it because you had two days left and there's no telling how fate might screw you up? Was there some type of uncertainty holding you back? You couldn’t tell. But you were scared. So was he.
You're both scared.
No, you're terrified.
Three little words feel so huge.
You're not sure you’re ready for the calamity it will bring.
You're never ready when it comes to Suna Rintarō, it seems.
Not for the I love you's or the sudden slam of Yura's body on Suna's chest the moment he turned the knob of a quiet cabin as you get home from dinner.
Her eyes are rimmed with red. She looks like she's been crying for at least a whole hour. Her fingers are fisting his shirt, Suna's clothes are stained and he's frozen in place. His arm hovers over her body, awkwardly pausing in the air as he tries to register the whole thing in his head.
Omi is nowhere to be found.
"Yura," Suna snaps to his senses, holding Yura's shoulders tightly and pushing her away from him to look at her face. Confusion is etched all over Suna's eyes and you can't stop the dread that settles in your stomach. "Why are you crying? What the hell happened?
She responds to him with more tears, a sob breaking out of her throat as she tries to hug him to her again. Suna shakes his head, firmly standing her up again with a hand on her shoulders. He lightly shakes her to her senses.
"Yura, what the fuck happened? Tell me for one second and stop crying," he looks over to you, seeing you frozen behind him. You watch the scene with such wide, nervous eyes. He knows you're getting a flashback from just a few hours ago.
He wants to tell you he won't leave you alone. Not this time. Not if he has a choice.
But Yura breaks into a louder sob, taking his attention from you before he could even open his mouth. She's mumbling incoherent words and Suna is starting to get frustrated. You hold on to the back of Suna's shirt, fisting it between your fingers as you start to hear the words before she'd even say them.
"For fuck's sake, Yura!" Suna raises his voice, desperate to get the answer out of her as he, too, hears the words before she says them clearly.
The world isn't so kind to him.
He feels like he could pass out and die from everything going on.
Then she says it, making him shut his eyes.
"Kiyoomi fucking broke up with me!" Yura screams so loudly, sobs accompanying her voice as she stomps on the ground frustratingly. She's pushing his now limp and loose hold on her shoulders to bury her face on his neck. "He broke up with me, okay?!"
Your fingers lose your hold on the fabric of Suna's shirt at the same time she falls on his body. It takes Suna a few beats, a second or two, before he's turning over to you with a mellow stare.
He wants to tell you. So badly.
No matter what happens from here, it would always be you.
But you're shaking your head before he could open his mouth.
"I'll see you later," you swallow thickly. Suna starts shaking his head, fingers attempting to reach your wrist but Yura pulls him back. You can see the refusal in his eyes. "I promise I'll see you later, Rin," you attempt a weak smile, eyes flying over to Yura's distraught figure. "She needs you right now."
"Wait for me?" He sounds defeated. Hell, he feels defeated.
He's so tired. He just wants to get the hell away from here and go to a much prettier place, a calmer place with you.
Away from all of this.
"Of course, Rin. I always will."
That was the last thing you said before you walked up the stairs to leave them alone.
Suna and Yura, in the arms of each other.
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WHAT THEY THROW AT YOU DURING AN ARGUMENT
tw: implied violence, hurt/angst
a remote; he purposely opened the television to deafen your voice from the kitchen. he had a rough day and the last thing he wanted was to hear you running your mouth. but the thing is, you had it rough too. and the fact that he just wasn't listening and the way he purposely opened the television further added insult to injury. so you shouted, more than you ever meant to. and in the heat of the moment, he throws the closest thing within his reach—and instantly regrets it.
aran, SUNA, terushima, tsukki, IWAIZUMI, semi, KYOTANI, daichi
a carton of milk; he sighs as he opens the refrigerator, trying so desperately to shut off your voice as he takes a drink for himself, anything to help him relax. but your rambling on about how he "came home late again" and how he "stopped talking to you" just keeps going on and on and he's just so tired, so fed up. and before he could even control himself, a carton of milk comes flying across the kitchen and just barely misses your arm. his eyes immediately hover to you in both concern and surprise, but the damage has already been done.
KAGEYAMA, tendou, SHIRABU, ennoshita, makki, yaku, sugawara, OSAMU, lev, FUTAKUCHI
nothing; it was infuriating and beyond insulting. you wanted to talk it out, you wanted to sit down with him and have a proper conversation, but what he's doing is nothing but shutting you out. he looks at you as if he's listening, he nods his head as if he understands, but everything coming from your mouth is immediately dismissed in his head, all done for the sake of finally calling it a night. and sometimes you wish he would scream back at you, throw something out of anger, curse you out even—just something. but no, he just sits there and takes it like he does every single night, and you just know that nothing will ever change.
KITA, kunimi, mattsun, AKAASHI, USHIJIMA, kenma, goshiki, aone, hirugami, komori
themselves; he knows why you're upset, he knows he's in the wrong, but right now he just can't take any more of you're talking. he's tired and he knows you are too. you've been arguing for hours on end and going around in unending circles. so with a defeated sigh, he pads over to you and engulfs you into a tight hug. you push him away knowing that this is just him pacifying you and nothing else, but he only pulls you in closer. he doesn't say anything, just stays there and lets you cry and punch his chest. he just can't deal with anything right now, but he hopes this makes things at least a little better.
hinata, BOKUTO, atsumu, tanaka, YAMAGUCHI, asahi, hoshiumi, koganegawa, nishinoya
their ring; it was just too much—you were too much. he sits on the couch, hands on his head trying so desperately not to lose his cool, but you're making it so hard for him not to. you talk and talk providing him with no chance to explain, not that he ever even tried to. and at that moment, he wanted nothing but quiet, wanted nothing but for you to just, go. so he stands and decides to give you what you want: his answer. his response to all your arguments and accusations—his ring and wedding band flying across the room. only, it wasn't really the answer he meant, but it was already far too late.
KUROO, OIKAWA, meian, washio, SAKUSA, gao, konoha
note: i am in no way villainizing any of the characters or encouraging this behavior.
rbs appreciated *headpats!*
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