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Hufflepuff: Here’s a dating tip– hold the door for your date, and rip the door off the hinges. Then, use the door as a weapon to fight off other people so that you can establish your dominance. 

Ravenclaw: I’m beginning to see why you’re still single. 

Slytherin: Don’t listen to him, please continue. 

160 notes

Hufflepuff: We judge a person by what is inside and not by what they wear. 

Slytherin: Lucky for you, huh? 

Hufflepuff: *wrapping their multi-colored scarf around their neck* 

Hufflepuff: I have no idea what you mean. 

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Hufflepuff: That wasn’t funny. 

Slytherin: Well I thought it was pretty funny.

Hufflepuff: You don’t count. Once, you started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you thought of a meme you saw on facebook. 

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Hufflepuff: Do you ever get that feeling where you look at someone and your heart skips a beat? 

Slytherin: That’s called arrhythmia. 

Hufflepuff: I get that feeling every time I look at y– 

Slytherin: That’s serious, Hufflepuff. You can die from it. 

137 notes

crap my bsf & i have said as slytherpuff quotes:

sly texting huff: i feel like someone is watching us..

huff: but someone’s always watching us!and btw ur out of milk.

sly: how the FUCK did u know that-

39 notes

crap my bsf and i have said as slytherpuff quotes:

slytherin: my nose hurts from sneezing so much- *dramatically* if i died don’t forget about me

hufflepuff: don’t worry. everytime i sneeze i’ll think of you


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James: Nothing in life is free

Rita: Life is free

Osias: Adventure is free

Aldrich: Knowledge is free

Dawn: Anything is free if you take it without paying

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Hufflepuff: Okay, I think it’s time for you to get some sleep.

Slytherin: I’m not tired though. 

Hufflepuff: You’ve been awake for 3 days straight and you just had a ten minute conversation with Picasso because you thought he answered you back. You need sleep. 

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Slytherin & Hufflepuff conversations

Hufflepuff: Can you read me a story?

Slytherin: No.

Hufflepuff: Please?

Slytherin: No.

Hufflepuff: Pretty please? With a cherry ontop?

Slytherin: Fine.

Slytherin: Once upon a time there was a girl who got stabbed and she di-

Hufflepuff: Ok, you’re scaring me now.

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So I discovered today that I am not only in Hufflepuff but Slytherin also, I never thought I would see a day where I wasn’t a pure Hufflepuff. I’m not gonna lie, shit makes sense hahaha

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Slytherin: so these are my pets. They’re the cutest aren’t they?

Hufflepuff: and that’s the most affectionate you’ll ever see Sly with an animal

Ravenclaw: …that’s the most affectionate you’ll ever see Sly with a living creature in general

279 notes
Did I just see Slytherin blushing?
How did it feel seeing the 8th wonder of the world?
Surely not as great as in making him blush
You kissed him, didn't ya?
Totally!!!! Look at that idiotic grin!
99 notes