Hufflepuff: If you could choose, how would you die?
Hufflepuff: Here’s a dating tip– hold the door for your date, and rip the door off the hinges. Then, use the door as a weapon to fight off other people so that you can establish your dominance.
Ravenclaw: I’m beginning to see why you’re still single.
Slytherin: Don’t listen to him, please continue.
Hufflepuff: We judge a person by what is inside and not by what they wear.
Slytherin: Lucky for you, huh?
Hufflepuff: *wrapping their multi-colored scarf around their neck*
Hufflepuff: I have no idea what you mean.
Hufflepuff: That wasn’t funny.
Slytherin: Well I thought it was pretty funny.
Hufflepuff: You don’t count. Once, you started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you thought of a meme you saw on facebook.
Hufflepuff: Being a girl sucks.
Slytherin: Being my girl wouldn’t.
Slytherin: Jumping out of a window is just short term skydiving.
Hufflepuff: Slytherin, I swear to god–
Hufflepuff: Do you ever get that feeling where you look at someone and your heart skips a beat?
Slytherin: That’s called arrhythmia.
Hufflepuff: I get that feeling every time I look at y–
Slytherin: That’s serious, Hufflepuff. You can die from it.
Slytherin: I’m lactose intolerant.
Hufflepuff: Don’t worry, I tolerate people regardless of whether they lack toes or not <3
Ravenclaw: Hufflepuff was washing the dishes and I heard them say, “Who do you work for? Who’s your contact?” while repeatedly pushing a plate underwater.
Slytherin: Well, at least they’re having fun.
Hufflepuff: Are you drinking enough water?
Slytherin: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.
sly texting huff: i feel like someone is watching us..
huff: but someone’s always watching us!and btw ur out of milk.
sly: how the FUCK did u know that-
slytherin: my nose hurts from sneezing so much- *dramatically* if i died don’t forget about me
hufflepuff: don’t worry. everytime i sneeze i’ll think of you
James: Nothing in life is free
Rita: Life is free
Osias: Adventure is free
Aldrich: Knowledge is free
Dawn: Anything is free if you take it without paying
Hufflepuff: Okay, I think it’s time for you to get some sleep.
Slytherin: I’m not tired though.
Hufflepuff: You’ve been awake for 3 days straight and you just had a ten minute conversation with Picasso because you thought he answered you back. You need sleep.
Hufflepuff: Can you read me a story?
Hufflepuff: Pretty please? With a cherry ontop?
Slytherin: Once upon a time there was a girl who got stabbed and she di-
Hufflepuff: Ok, you’re scaring me now.
So I discovered today that I am not only in Hufflepuff but Slytherin also, I never thought I would see a day where I wasn’t a pure Hufflepuff. I’m not gonna lie, shit makes sense hahaha
Slytherin: so these are my pets. They’re the cutest aren’t they?
Hufflepuff: and that’s the most affectionate you’ll ever see Sly with an animal
Ravenclaw: …that’s the most affectionate you’ll ever see Sly with a living creature in general