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cherryslyce · 1 year

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Love, Anonymous | Blaise Zabini

Synopsis: The rumor mill at Hogwarts has expanded into physical print, and with it, a buzzing section dedicated to anonymous confessions.

Pairing: Blaise Zabini x Hufflepuff!Reader

Notes: I accidentally grew extremely fond of Ernie while writing this. Susan Bones supremacy, always.

Word Count: 4.8k

The infamous rumor mill of Hogwarts, upheld by boisterous Gryffindors Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, seemed to finally reach eminence in the social sphere of the castle. It was a long time coming, you thought. Grapevines. Heard from a friend. Through an open door — nothing was as fascinating as the arbitrary spiel that grew to fruition in the rumor mill.

“I’m impressed. With all of this, you’d think Lavender was going after Skeeter’s job.” Susan hums, eyes scanning over the leaflets of paper lain strewn in front of you both.

Ernie snorts as he shovels a spoonful of peas into his mouth, eyes rooted to the ceiling as he awaited the daily post, “What a load of bollocks.”

“Hey, now. Don’t be so curt with it, E.” You muse, mouth folding into a wry grin as you pick up one of the loose papers, bringing it to eye-level so you could read it, “Look at this riveting slice of writing, Hogwarts Anonymous: With the Yule Ball so fresh in the minds of the student body–”

“Fresh? It was almost three bloody years ago.” Ernie interjects, tongue clicking loudly as the sea of owls begin to scurry across the plane of the ceiling, dropping rolls and boxes of news and gifts. However, the surge of mail went largely ignored as many students remained engrossed in the new Hogwarts gossip column.

You shoot Ernie a stern look at the interruption, but continue when Susan releases an amused huff, “As I was saying—With the Yule Ball so fresh in the minds of the student body and love so sorely missed as a result, Hogwarts Anonymous is dedicated to working towards the revival of matchmaking. To submit an anonymous clip of your own, reach out to Parvati Patil for inquiries.”

“Love so sorely missed?” Susan echoes, eyes blown wide in disbelief.

“Poetic. Inspired. Riveting. Ingenious.” Ernie utters with faux sincerity, ignoring the raucous younger years fighting behind him.

You nod, barely able to conceal your grin as your eyes drop further down the blocks of text, seeing a few confessions and messages splayed across the paper. As you continue to read through the text, a sudden passage has you choking on your spit, thumb pressing harshly against the flimsy paper as your eyes narrow.

Ernie peers up at you from his plate, glancing towards Susan as they both share unimpressed looks. Eventually, it’s Susan who plucks up the voice to question your sudden bafflement, “Y/N? Are you alright there?”

“Y/N looks like a startled crup puppy in Arithmancy.” You recite rigidly, feeling the paper warp and crease under your unrelenting grip.

There is an unsettling pause in the atmosphere, as though the entirety of the dining hall has paused in their routine to listen to the confession, but it soon washes away as Ernie practically howls in laughter, his broad frame throttling forward as he tries to muffle his guffaw.

Susan, ever the diplomat, proves to be more successful at maintaining her composure, but you don’t miss the small grin that tugs at her lips as she reaches over to grasp the paper, “Here, give me that.”

“Crup puppy? Oh my goodness! That is bloody—Ow! Hey! Okay, stop!” Ernie’s fit of laughter and verbal tirade is swiftly dealt with as you send numerous stinging hexes his way, basking in the alarmed glint in his eyes.

Susan shakes her head at both of your antics, and folds the paper up, eyes scanning the room as she muses, “How romantic. You just have to wonder who the culprit is.”

“Merlin. It might just be a prank. Or maybe someone has a vendetta against me.” You groan with exasperation, realizing that just about everyone in the castle was going to be hearing about it.

Ernie bumps his shoulder against yours and grins, “Chin up, Y/N. If someone’s out to get ya, Susan and I will send them to their maker—without their kneecaps, rest assured.”

You roll your eyes but nod in appreciation, gaze falling down to your pitiful plate of food as your mind is thrust into overdrive. Hopefully, it would all blow over by the next day.

Wishful thinking on your part because in fact, it did not.

“It is endearing how Y/N is always lost during Potions.” Susan reads off the paper with squinted eyes, mouth furling into a frown of disbelief at the words.

“Does this person hate me?” You murmur, leaning on your elbows as your eyes run across the aisle of bookshelves in front of you.

Ernie rocks on the heels of his feet as he hums, “Abysmal flirting. Subpar, one-sided banter. Hardly charming. A Gryffindor, for sure.”

“Well, the only Gryffindor in both Arithmancy with me and Potions with us is Hermione Granger, and I surely hope she hasn’t turned away from Ron. He’ll be insufferable if so.” You grit out, torn between chasing down your secret “admirer” and putting forth your best effort to ignore their future comments.

Susan hums at your suggestion with crossed arms, Runes homework long forgotten about, “Surely not. So not a Gryffindor— and really Ernie, you can’t let your heartache blind your judgement! Seriously, are we sticking with the ‘All Gryffindors Are Bad’ thing?”

Ernie gapes at her words and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Guys, I’m over her, we’ve been through this.”

You pat your friends arm empathetically, hiding your sly grin as you muse, “Of course you are. Poor Fay Dunbar, really.”

Before your friend can retort, the sound of clicking footsteps attracts your attention as a figure emerges from behind the shelf next to you. Your eyebrows furrow as you watch the familiar Slytherin stroll towards you all with cool eyes, hands shoved in his dress pants as he hums, “Bones. Macmillan.” His eyes drop down to where you’re seated and you see an indecipherable glint cross his gaze as he greets you, “Puppy.”

Your reaction is almost immediate as a hot wave of mortification swallows all your sensibilities, “Excuse me?” Your offended wheeze hardly deters the Slytherin as he merely smirks at you.

“I think your time would be better spent working through the latest Arithmancy assignment instead of gossiping, no?” He asks with a slanted grin, eyes never trailing away from yours.

“What’s it to you, Zabini?” Your voice comes out taut as you feel Ernie place a hand on the back of your chair, likely eyeing down the boy in front of you.

Blaise’s eyes briefly flicker to survey Ernie’s ministrations before they glide back to you in consideration, “Just concerned for a fellow classmate is all. I’ll see you around, Puppy.” Without giving you time to retaliate, the tall Slytherin vanishes just as swiftly as he arrived.

“The absolute nerve!” You utter with indignation, swiveling your attention over to Susan. The girl frowns in the direction that Blaise disappeared through, eyes glimmering as you could see her brain whirring.

“Strange. I thought Zabini was one of the tamer Slytherins out of their lot.” Ernie mutters, resuming his position beside you as he rubs his chin.

You shake your head, “Malfoy’s influence is something to fear for years to come. Zabini may have been pleasant in our youth, but he’s been so shifty to me as of late.”

Ernie snaps his fingers at your words and snickers down at you, “You used to have the largest love-sick eyes for him.”

Clicking your tongue, you send a side glance at your friend before looking at Susan as she seems to take in your clueless expression.

“Seriously?” She huffs, eyebrow drawn up as she gazes at you both like she was staring at a pedestrian display.

“Seriously what? Suze?” You prod, leaning over as she shakes her head and redirects her attention to her work.

Ernie shoots you a shrug as he pulls out the chair beside you, reluctantly following the girl’s lead as he sifts through the pile of parchments in front of him.

The next few days blur by in a similar fashion, except you had taken to avoiding Hogwarts Anonymous like the plague, forcing Ernie and Susan to do the same when you were around. You eventually fell back into your routine of focusing on coursework and your future anxieties, letting the anomalous events slip from your mind.

It is not until you’re organizing your supplies during Arithmancy that your fragile bubble of peace is disturbed.

“Puppy.” The dulcet sound of Blaise’s voice has you snapping your head up, boggled by his sudden appearance beside you. The boy usually sat rows behind you, leaving the spot next to you to be occupied by Padma Patil. However, it seemed she was nowhere to be found.

Suppressing your complaints, you don’t even attempt pleasantries as you sigh, “Zabini, hello.”

“What’s with the long face? Not happy to see me?” Blaise teases, mouth stretching into a small grin.

You’re almost tempted to squint as his perfectly white teeth glare at you in all their glory. Fuck. Did he not have a single flaw?

“I’m flattered, but perhaps the only thing I’m unable to do is catch you on a good day.” Blaise’s eyes twinkle with mirth as he smiles softly at you.

Your face heats up so violently that you’re sure radiators across the globe were turning to you with envy. Forcing your jaw from parting so gauchely, you can only sputter out weakly, “Did I say that out loud?”

Blaise hums wordlessly as he continues to look at you. Clearing your throat, you turn back to face the front of the classroom as Professor Vector begins to rise from her desk, “Right.”

The rest of the class seems to tick by like molasses from a tipped jar: incredibly, painstakingly slow. You were usually quite engaged with the lesson and content, but you couldn’t ignore the occasional glances from the Italian boy beside you.

As you absentmindedly continue to scrawl on your parchment, eyes transfixed on the swirls of ink blooming on the page, you feel something poke your arm. Frowning, you try to ignore it, directing your full attention onto sketching your diagram.

The light poking persists until you bring your other hand up to swipe at your robe, fingers dancing across a sheet of paper with a slight crinkling noise. Faintly tilting your head, you furrow your eyebrows when you see Blaise attempting to slide a sheet of paper towards you. Slowly grasping the paper, you lay it atop one of your dry parchments, eyes scanning across the leaflet in confusion.

‘Hogwarts Anonymous. Submission 0128: Y/N L/N is devastatingly oblivious. It really is quite cute.’

You feel your entire body steel up at the words, lips parted from shock as you continue to reread the confession. The nerves across your body seem to buzz wildly as you try and rein in the burning climbing up your chest.

“Alright, dears! That will be all for today. I expect the next two chapters to be read by our next convening. Ah, and L/N, my dear! I need to speak with you.” Professor Vector’s euphonic voice cut through your haze of disbelief, drawing your eyes away from the dizzying passage and up towards the heart of the classroom.

You don’t dare to glance at Blaise as you quickly clamber towards the awaiting woman, weaving around the retreating students that file through the grand doors. Huffing to relieve the pressure in your chest, you peer at the woman in anticipation as you finally step toward her.

“Sorry to call you up like this, L/N. It’s just that the other professors and I are concerned about the recent articles that are being passed around the student body. It’s come to our attention that these anonymous confessions regarding you are quite prolific.” Professor Vector keeps her voice steady as she gazes at you with warm eyes, evidently trying to gauge your honest opinion on the matter.

It would appear that everyone knew about your predicament.

You shake your head quickly, eyes wandering towards the tomes resting on her desk, “It’s quite alright, they’re just small statements. Besides, no one has been giving me a hard time.” Which was partially true, but you also did not want the column to be shut down and run the risk of facing Lavender’s wrath.

“If you’re quite sure, dear.”

With a soft nod, you send a small smile towards her before bounding back towards your table, releasing a small breath as you see the rest of the classroom was vacant. As you slung your bag over your shoulder, the call of your name has you twirling on your heel.

“L/N.” Professor Vector gives you a faint nod, “You’re doing quite well in this class. I’m sure whoever is sending those messages is just teasing you.”

Clearing your throat, you plaster on a reassuring smile, “Thank you, Professor. Have a good afternoon!”

You practically sprint out of the classroom, mind set on nipping the blooms of your troubles—starting with the roots.

The clicking of your shoes against the dusty corridor tiles seem to smother every other inkling of noise, many students shifting from your path with wide-eyes as your gaze darts around furiously. Even the slightest hue of crimson drew your dutiful eyes like a moth to a flame, and you were beginning to get tunnel vision.

A flash of wispy blonde waves flashes across your plane of sight, and you’re immediately beelining towards the girl, a victorious smile painting your face once you see Lavender’s startled frown. The girl glances from side-to-side as you draw closer, shoulders tensing once you tentatively stop a few paces before her.

“Lavender, good afternoon.” You greet cordially, fingers lightly brushing against your sides as you become wary of your awkward hand placement.

The girl nods and shoots you a confused smile, “Hi, Y/N. What’s up?”

“I think we both know why I’m here.” You mutter frankly, head tilting down emphatically as you take notice of the latest edition of Hogwarts Anonymous in her hands.

Lavender glances down at the paper and hums, “Ah. Right.”

Sighing, you readjust the strap of your bag as you step closer, “Look, I’m not here to give you any grief over your work. In fact, Hogwarts Anonymous is probably the most exciting thing to happen all year. But, I need to know the person behind all these messages aimed at me.”

“I’m sorry, but confidentiality–” Lavender starts, eyebrows stitching together in remorse at your clear disdain over the matter.

Before the girl can continue her, no doubt, enlightening spiel about the rules of journalism, a velvety voice curls through the air around you, “Hello, Puppy. What seems to be the fuss.”

You aren’t sure any measure of propriety could have stopped you from raising your eyes to the sky as you slowly spin on your heel. A frown briefly washes over your face as you address the boy behind you, “Zabini. Again with that nickname? It’s getting quite old. Originality doesn’t seem to be your strong suit.”

“No use in fixing what isn’t broken. Besides, I’ve never known you to be overly concerned with trivialities like this.” The boy retorts, eyes sparkling with blatant amusement.

You purse your lips at his choice of words before musing, “That’s because you don’t know me, Zabini.”

Without missing a beat, Blaise is quick to step closer to you, head craning towards you imperceptibly as he lowers his voice, “I suppose you’re right. I could get to know you though.”

Your lips part at his words, but you try to remain nonchalant as you huff, “Hysterical. And what’s in it for me?”

“You’d get to know me, too.”

“As enticing as that sounds, I’ll have to pass.” You mutter, taking a step back from the boy. His eyes remain firm with confidence even as you begin to retreat, your gaze glued to the growing smirk on his face.

As your nerves finally seem to spark back to life, you swiftly spin around and begin to stomp towards your common room, brain muddled with harping thoughts about the exchange. Before you’re able to round the corner, you hear Lavender’s soft voice bristle through the air, “Maybe try a different approach…”

A few odd days pass after your encounter with Blaise, and you’ve taken to gluing yourself to Ernie and Susan in hopes that the Slytherin would be too intimidated to approach you again. Your friends take the new developments in stride, only occasionally shooting you knowing glances.

“Weird.” Ernie hums, fingers drumming against the grass as he peers at the paper in his lap.

You don’t take your eyes off of the serene lake just yards away as you reply, “What’s weird?”

Susan pauses in her reading as Ernie straightens up and turns to you, “There aren’t any more anonymous messages about you in the column.”

“Seems that you missed your chance with your secret admirer, Y/N.” Susan hums, propping her chin on her palm as she smiles teasingly at you.

You shake your head and wave them both off, “I talked to Lavender the other day, maybe she intentionally left it out. Either way, I look forward to reinhabiting the semblance of peace that I lost.”

Ernie hums as he diverts his gaze towards something behind you, “Peace might have to wait.”

“Y/N.” Blaise’s honeyed voice dances through the cool air, accompanied with the soft crunching of grass as you sense the boy approach your lazing figure.

“Blaise.” You greet evenly, eyes slowly drifting across the tufts of clouds meandering across the sky.

Susan and Ernie pretend to busy themselves as the Slytherin stops behind you, close enough where the edges of his robe lightly graze against your back. It is quiet for a few moments before the boy addresses you again, “Have you given my offer any further thought?”

“I can’t say I have.” You mutter, slowly fidgeting with your wand as you add, “Do you want me to?”

The Italian huffs out a small laugh before you hear a faint rustling, “That’s entirely up to you.” Your eyebrows draw together in confusion, but before you can turn around to question him, a crisp envelope drops into your vision. You feel the curtains of Blaise’s robe swim across your back as he offers the tempting object to you.

Gently grasping the envelope, you flip it in your palm to inspect the front, but you’re met with shallow disappointment when you see the paper is completely blank. On the back, you recognize the Zabini emblem pressed into the bleeding red wax.

“Blaise, what is this for?” You slowly peer over your shoulder only to be met with Blaise’s retreating back growing farther into the distance.

Staring at the envelope with a frown, you debate on whether or not to frisbee-launch the paper into the lake as the wind sweeps across your face. Susan is the first to interrupt the calm silence that blanketed the air, shooting you a knowing smile as she points her chin at the stiff paper, “Open it.”

“Do you know something about this?” You question with narrowed eyes, tone light with jest, but bleeding in genuine confusion.

“About the envelope? Nope.” She hums with a sweet smile, quickly swiveling her head back to her book.

You shuffle closer to your friends, shooting them a disbelieving frown, “And about Blaise?”

Ernie mimes a zipping motion across his mouth as he shakes his head, which is all you need from the boy to know that both of your friends were privy to something you weren’t seeing. Clicking your tongue with exaggerated indignation, you carefully peel the envelope open, noting that neither of your friends were attempting to peer over to see its contents as you did so.

You didn’t know if you were thankful or concerned for that fact.

Reaching inside the smooth cradle of paper, your fingers run across a folded piece of paper. Pulling it out, you hesitate for a few moments before deciding to bite the bullet.

Smooth, even swirls of letters dance across the paper in abundance much to your surprise.

Y/N,

Lavender advised me that my previous tactic of trying to get your attention was ineffective, so I should therefore be more forthcoming. I hope you understand now. Although it was entertaining watching you fumble about for answers, I realize that time is slowly dwindling as we progress through our last year here at Hogwarts.

This is not some ploy if you’re wondering (because I know that you are… really, are you Hufflepuffs not supposed to be the most trusting of us all?)

I have admired you for quite some time. If you are willing to, let’s meet before dinner. I will be at the library.

Love,

“Anonymous”

You drop the letter into your lap as you sigh into the air, neck aching as you roll your head from side to side. Ernie assesses you from the corner of his eye, head tilting at your reaction, “Well?”

“Well, I’ll have to meet you both at dinner it seems.” You concede with a heavy sigh, realizing that you were the only one who was drowning in the darkness of oblivion for the past few days.

Susan nods at you with twinkling eyes as Ernie muses with a wide grin, “Sounds like a plan. Good luck!”

Pacing away from your friends and up the vague incline of grass, you fiddle with the paper in your hands as you begin to dredge up all your encounters with Blaise. They were plentiful in your youth, but between then and the whirlwind of Hogwarts Anonymous— you could count the number of proper conversations you’ve had with the Slytherin on one hand.

That’s not to say you still didn't find the boy attractive. There was an unspoken consensus amongst the entire student body that he was the prime candidate for bachelor, between his suave demeanor, dry wit, academic prowess, towering trust fund, and neutral political stance— it did not get much better than Blaise fucking Zabini.

For the first time in weeks, you feel that your head is finally clear. An airy aura encircling you as you traverse through the halls, not minding the bustling of younger students or the perpetual miasma of stress that radiated off of your fellow seventh-year peers.

At the threshold of the bright library, you take a deep breath of consideration before you step in, an intangible veil of warmth immediately ushering you into its cavernous hold as you sift your gaze through the hunched backs and steep shelves.

Taking slow steps so as to not remain erect in the entrance and cause traffic, you’re snapped from your concentration by the softest tug to your robe sleeve. Dropping your gaze to the chair beside you, you aren’t able to mask your nonplusness at the sight of a familiar Slytherin searching your expression with curiosity.

“Oh, hi Theodore.” You wave smally, stepping closer as he begins to speak.

“Y/N. You’re here for Blaise, right?” The boy’s words are barely above a murmur as he slowly shuts the cover of his book.

You nod and shift to lean against the table as Theodore begins to look around, only dropping your eyes to him once he speaks up again, “He just came in. He might be toward the back, near the Restricted Section. He doesn��t like being around others when he’s restless.”

“Oh?” Your eyebrows shoot up at the insinuation, unable to truly comprehend a mental picture of the composed Slytherin as anything but smug and assured.

Humming, you shift your weight from one leg to the other as you dismiss yourself, “Alright. Thank you, Theodore. I’ll see you around.”

The boy merely nods before turning back to his work, but you don’t miss the glimmer that flickers across his eyes as they quickly catch sight of the letter in your hand— it was the same knowing look that your friends held.

Shuffling towards the back of the library, you slowly feel the confidence draining from your veins as you near the Restricted Section. Rounding one of the shelves, you stop in your tracks as you catch sight of Blaise sitting at a corner table by the window, robe discarded and flung over the adjacent chair as his eyes run across the book in his hand.

Clearing your throat faintly, you make your way towards him. Before you’re even within reaching distance to him, his head shoots up toward you.

His eyes swim with confusion for a split moment before they sink into a familiar unreadable look.

“I read your letter.” You mutter with uncertainty, squaring your shoulders as Blaise nods and rises from his chair.

“I wasn’t expecting you so soon,” He softly admits, lips curling up at the sheepish look that replaces your former expression of hesitancy. Before you have time to reply, he steps forward and chuckles, “Couldn’t wait to see me, then?”

Swallowing harshly, you hum, “You have a bit of explaining to do.”

“Yeah, I do.” His voice comes out light, shedding away into a near whisper at the end as he gazes at you with consideration. He takes a step forward and continues, “Before that though, I need to know how you feel.”

“About you?” Your mumble is met with a firm nod, and you feel your heart miss a few beats as the words seem to just glide out of your mouth without filter, “Well, we haven’t spoken properly all that much this year or last year, but I like you… too. I like you, too.”

“Yeah?” Blaise hums, shoulders faintly drooping as the tension dissipates from his muscles. He reaches his hand out in offering, and you have to give his face another once-over to confirm that it wasn’t an elaborate ruse before you take it.

He slowly drags you towards him before nudging you to sit in his chair as he smiles, “Well, I’ll apologize for the public messages, it just seemed like the opportune moment when Lavender approached me.”

“Lavender approached you?” You quietly squawk, not even batting an eye when Blaise crouches in front of you and brings his other hand to clasp yours.

“My attraction to you is no secret, Y/N. Not that I tried to hide it.” He supplies, eyes full of warmth as you recount all the indecipherable looks you’d received from Blaise’s friends over the months. Honestly, you had merely assumed they were looking for a fight.

Squeezing the boy’s hands, and ignoring the tingling that buzzed up your wrist from the coolness of his steel rings, you muse, “So… you like me.”

“Hm.” Blaise hums patiently, assured by your reciprocation of his physical touch.

“Well, you’re quite the romantic, Zabini.” You can’t fight the lopsided smile that falls on your face.

Blaise huffs a small laugh as he shakes his head, “I was thinking you’d hold a contrary sentiment.”

“You better be planning ways to make it up to me, public scrutiny is not enjoyable.” You mutter with a small grin, relishing in the way Blaise shifted at your words.

He gives your hands a firm squeeze before he straightens up and leans towards you, “There’s no rush anymore.”

“Who says? I’m fleeing once we graduate.” Your teasing elicits an eye roll from the boy as he shakes his head.

Leaning over, he grazes his lips over your forehead as he mutters, “Funny, but no can do, you’re stuck with me.”

His arms encircle you as he continues to drop light pecks to your face, clearly uncaring of the unconventional crane of his spine as he does so. Bringing a hand up, you place it on his cheek before leaning to join your lips together, acutely aware of how his hands tighten around your frame as he leans in impossibly closer to you.

Pulling back briefly, you smile as an idea balloons in your thoughts, “I’m going to need to find Lavender later.”

Blaise’s hands draw circles on your waist as he hums, “Why’s that?”

“I can’t let you have all the fun, now can I? I have the perfect anonymous submission.” You grin brightly, tugging at his tie to draw him closer.

His eyebrows slowly raise at your words as he leans in, “Yeah?”

“Yep. How does ‘Blaise Zabini is a terrible flirt and an even worse snog’ sound?”

Blaise hums and drags you closer to him as a playful glint blazes across his lidded gaze, “It sounds like I’ll have to change your mind before then.”

“I agree.” You whisper just as his lips sink against yours again, the faint scent of his cologne swirling around you like a blanket as you lean back against the table.

And when morning rolls around, bringing clear skies and a new column of Hogwarts Anonymous, you can only shrug your shoulders when Susan practically slams the paper against your face in fervid question.

‘Hogwarts Anonymous. Submission 0283: Blaise Zabini is an alright snog.’

masterlist

#blaise zabini #blaise zabini x reader #blaise zabini imagines #blaise x reader #blaise zabini imagine #blaise zabini fluff #harry potter #harry potter series #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #we love blaise

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gods-graveyard · 1 month

Text

I made fanart of my own post- I give you my favorite insane poly trio

(Original link https://www.tumblr.com/gods-graveyard/744576621749633024/incorrect-hp-quotes-based-on-my-fic-pt2?source=share)

Also once again shameless self promo of my fic where I aggressivly ship these three (https://archiveofourown.org/works/51105907)

Text below-

Percy: I have high standards in ANY partner

Oliver: 'm just sayin how hard cann-it be?

Marcus: Its never been done before..

Oliver: Then we can try at bein the first!

Marcus: Question is- can you reach 30 mph and catch it mid air

Oliver: Well sure- but the Dulgari brand only goes 27

Marcus: Im pretty sure Diggory has one- we can nab it pretty easily

Oliver: Or we can ju'st ask

Marcus: That works too- I swear that Hufflepuff needs to grow a backbone before people take advantage of him

Oliver: As if ya any better- now wanna hit the feild?

Marcus- Shut it- and do you even have to ask Wood?

Percy: ...i am a weak man

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hjparisian · 8 months

Text

bad idea right?- harry j potter x reader

p: ex! harry j potter x fem!reader w: modern au (phones exist at hogwarts dont question how), everyone is friends, small mentions of drinking and smoking, slight sexual implications (no smut) summary: (y/n) and harry have been broken up for a while now. while at a party (y/n) gets a message from harry asking her to come over. its a bad idea, right? a/n: based on the song by olivia rodrigo, which has been living in my head rent free and brought my first idea in weeks. currently trying to get through a few requests and ylm part II and seeing what'll happen from there. also im on pinterest and tik tok so come find me (has nothing posted on either lol)

There was nothing like a good old party after the Quidditch games. This game was between Hufflepuff and Slytherin, the latter being victorious, which meant the Slytherins would be hosting the party. All the houses were invited.

(Y/N) sat on the couch with Hermione, Pansy, Daphne, and Cho, a drink in her hand. She had tuned out what the girls were chatting about, observing the surroundings of the party. From the people dancing, couples making out, people taking shots and smoking, and Ron doing a keg stand with Blaise and Theo, Draco laughing at them from the side.

(Y/N)'s thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of her phone, which had also caught the attention of her friends. She picked it up to see who it was. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately to her, it was her ex-boyfriend. Harry.

5 missed calls

hey

feeling a bit bored rn

no ones at the dorm right now

come over?

"Who is it?" Cho asked.

"Oh erm, no one important," (Y/N) said.

"Well your phone was buzzing for a good minute until you finally picked up so it has to be someone important," Daphne chimed.

"Really it's no one," (Y/N) tried telling them.

At that moment, Pansy took (Y/N)'s phone out her hand and looked at it.

"Yeah no one important, unless it's your ex Harry fucking Potter wanting to see you tonight!" Pansy said. The girls gasped.

"Harry?" Hermione asked. "Harry's texting you? But you guys haven't spoken in a couple of months."

"Yeah, I know," (Y/N) said.

"How come Harry isn't here anyways? Doesn't he usually go to parties with Ron?" Daphne asked.

"Said he didn't feel like it," Hermione told her.

"Well, are you gonna do it?" asked Pansy.

"Do what?" (Y/N) asked.

"You know, see him?"

Cho chimed in. "Oh (Y/N), I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Yeah, that would be a bad idea, he is your ex after all," said Daphne.

"I never said whether I was going to or not!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "And if I were why would it matter? I know he's my ex but can't two people reconnect?"

"Well, they could," Hermione started saying. "But a lot of the times it doesn't work out."

"Besides," Pansy starts. "There's a bunch of other men out there waiting to have a chance with you. Men hotter than Potter."

(Y/N) didn't know whether to agree or disagree with Pansy. Well sure, there's other men out that there that could be more attractive than Harry, but there's just something about him that draws her to him.

"Okay, okay! I only see Harry as a friend anyways. Also we're at a Slytherin party right now and I'd much rather be getting drunk with you guys than continue this." (Y/N) told them.

Her words rang in her head as she took a shot that Pansy brought her. Does she really only see Harry as a friend? Or is that a lie?

The temptation to see Harry was only getting stronger with each drink she took. It wouldn't be a horrible idea to visit Harry right? They probably wouldn't do anything anyways so what's the harm?

While the girls weren't paying attention, she texted Harry back, telling him she would be over in a little bit. It didn't take long for Harry to get back to her.

cool, see you soon then

(Y/N) waited until the girls were done with another round of drinks, hoping to be unsuspecting with her need to leave.

"I think I'm going to head to bed, I'm feeling a little bit tired," she said.

"Already?" Pansy asked. "Come on we're having fun!"

"Pansy, leave the girl be. It is starting to get a little late anyways," Daphne said to her fellow Slytherin.

"Do you want me to walk you to your dorm?" Hermione asked her, being one of the more sober people of the group.

"No! No I'll be alright. I'll see you guys tomorrow though alright?" (Y/N) said as she wave goodbye to her friends.

Once she exited the Slytherin common room, she quietly made her way towards the Gryffindor common room. Curse Harry for being a Gryffindor and making her walk so far, but it'll be worth it, at least that's what she's thinking.

(Y/N) finally made it to the entrance of the common room without any setbacks. The Fat Lady had woken up from the sound of her footsteps.

"Password?"

"Quid Agis," (Y/N) said, having remembered the password from when she visited Hermione earlier in the week.

The portrait opened and (Y/N) walked in. The common room was empty, most likely due to the party as well as it being late in the night. She made her way to Harry's dorm, memorized where it was due to the countless times she's gone over.

The girl knocked on the door before going to grab the door knob, but the door had opened before she could. In front of her stood her ex-boyfriend in sweats and a black shirt, contrasting her party dress she wore tonight.

"Hey," Harry said to (Y/N) when she walked in, closing the door behind her.

"Hi," (Y/N) shyly said. It was a bit awkward being in Harry's dorm, considering the last time she was there was a few months ago, before their break up.

Harry guided (Y/N) to his bed, the two sitting at the edge. She could feel Harry's eyes taking her in. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't doing the same just before.

"So you came from the party I assume?" Harry asked.

(Y/N) nodded.

"How was it?"

"Good. You know how Slytherin parties are." The girl said. "Exciting. A lot of drinks."

"Do your friends know you're here?" Harry asks her.

"No." (Y/N) felt a hand touching her thigh.

"Where do they think you're at?" Harry asks her. "They think I'm in bed right now." She said. But she never specified whose bed.

A faint hum of acknowledgement came from Harry as he began rubbing her thigh, his hand slowly getting higher and higher.

"You know, I've missed you a lot (Y/N)."

(Y/N) could feel her heart racing at Harry's sudden confession. "Really? I've sorta missed you too." She didn't know if it was the alcohol talking that made her say that or what, but something made her want to see where this was going.

A small smirk appeared on Harry's face before he brought the girl to his lap. His eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips.

"How about I show you how much I've missed you?"

This definitely was not going to be a bad idea, right?

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry james potter #hjp #harry james potter x reader #hjp x reader #hp fanfic #harry #hp imagine #harry potter x fem!reader

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hollowed-theory-hall · 3 months

Text

How many muggleborns actually are there in the UK?

So, I think, the first thing I post here should be what started my HP theorizing journey. Which was an IRL friend asking me how many muggleborns even are there in the Wizarding World to cause this much strife?

So strap on in for a journey of demographic statistics and me documenting every name in the book and their blood status like someone who actually cares (I don't, but I do have some things to say about blood status, inbreeding, and magical genetics, but that's a whole different post)

So, when I started thinking about how to figure out what percentage of muggleborns are in the British Wizarding World, I decided to start simple. Harry's year (according to JKR's notes and Harry Potter and Me) has 40 students. Fewer are mentioned by name in the books, but I created the closest approximation on these 40 students according to book information and notes from JK.

(In general, book canon precedes any other source)

Harry's year is a good start since it gives us a look at all wizards and witches born in the UK in the same year, as it seems all Hogwarts years are similar in size. So this is a good enough rough approximation of blood status across the wizarding world in the UK as a whole (and the one we have the most information about).

Some definitions about blood status and the way it seems to be treated in the books so we'll all be on the same page:

Muggleborn - a wizard with two muggle parents

Pure-Blood - a wizard with two magical parents of which none are muggleborn and at least one is pure blood (i.e a child of a half-blood and a pure blood would be considered a pure blood for this list)

Half-Blood - Only one magical parent who isn't a muggleborn

At least one magical parent - a character we knew for sure isn't muggleborn but do not have further information.

So without further ado, here are the 40 wizards in Harry's year:

In Gryffindor:

Harry Potter - Half-Blood - Book text

Ronald Weasley - Pure-Blood - Book text

Dean Thomas - Half-Blood - Book text

Seamus Finnigan - Half-Blood - Book text

Neville Longbottom - Pure-Blood - Book text

Hermione Granger - Muggleborn - Book text

Praviti Patil - Most Likely Pure Blood - In book 1, Praviti and Pansy Parkinson are shown to be on a first-name basis and familiar from before Hogwarts. I don't see the blood purists Parkinsons being acquainted with who they consider "lesser blood".

“Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?” said Pansy Parkinson, a hard-faced Slytherin girl. “Never thought you’d like fat little crybabies, Parvati.” - Philosopher Stone, page 108

Lavender Brown - Pure-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

In Slytherin:

Millicent Bulstrode - Most Likely Pure Blood - due to the Bulstrode family appearing in the Sacred Twenty-Eight. (I'm aware in JK's notes mentioned in Harry Potter and Me, Millicent is described as a half-blood, but as many of the characters there didn't make it into the book, they are less canon than the book information)

Vincent Crabbe - Pure-Blood - Book text

Tracy Davis - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Gregory Goyle - Pure-Blood - Book text

Daphne Greengrass - Pure-Blood - The Greengrass family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Draco Malfoy - Pure-Blood - Book text

Theodore Nott - Pure-Blood - The Nott family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight (Nott's grandfather/great-grandfather is also the most likely to have written it)

Pansy Parkinson - Pure-Blood - The Parkinson family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Blaise Zabini - Pure-Blood - Book text

In Hufflepuff:

Hanna Abbott - Pure-Blood - The Abbott family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Susan Bones - Most Likely Pure Blood - Mentioned to have multiple magical relatives including Amalia Bones (Head of the DMLE) a prominent figure in the incredibly corrupt Ministry of Magic that practically runs on nepotism (a subject fro a different post, probably).

Justin Finch-Fletchley - Muggleborn - Book text

Wayne Hopkins - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Megan Jones - Most Likely Pure Blood - Mentioned to have multiple magical relatives (even if the wiki calls them half-bloods, there are a lot of wizards from this family).

Ernest Macmillan - Pure-Blood - The Macmillan family appears in the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Zacharias Smith - Most Likely Pure Blood - As someone who brags of being a descendant of Helga Hufflepuff and being able to trace magical lineage so far back.

In Ravenclaw:

Terry Boot - At Least One Magical Parent - As he goes to Hogwarts during the 1997-1998 school year when muggleborns were forbidden from doing so.

Mandy Brocklehurst - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Michael Corner - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Stephen Cornfoot - Pure-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Anthony Goldstein - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Sue Li - Half-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Morag MacDougal - Pure-Blood - According to Harry Potter and Me Notes.

Padma Patil - Most Likely Pure Blood - Same as Praviti Patil.

Lisa Turpin - At Least One Magical Parent - Most likely. This is a character nothing is stated about, but I assume that if she was muggleborn it would have been mentioned during the second war.

Unknown House:

Oliver Rivers - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin.

Roger Malone - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin.

Lily Moon - Most Likely Pure Blood - Has other magical relatives of the name Moon across HP media.

Sally-Anne Perks - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin.

Sophie Roper - At Least One Magical Parent - Same reasoning as Lisa Turpin along with other wizards with the same surname.

Runcorn - Most Likely Pure Blood - As she is likely related to Albert Runcorn who worked in the Ministry of Magic under the Death Eaters' rule and worked as an intimidator and blackmailer of alleged muggleborns.

Sally Smith - Most Likely Pure Blood - As she is likely related to Zacharias Smith.

From this we see that we have:

23/40 = 57.5% Pure-Blood and Most Likely Pure Blood

9/40 = 22.5% Half-Blood

6/40 = 15% At Least One Magical Parent

2/40 = 5% Muggleborn

This kind of percentage is one we see among the Order of the Phoenix (another group of wizards who accept muggleborns and we have information about their blood status) as well. So, it's not just Harry's generation that is low on muggleborns, but that muggleborns are a very small percentage of the wizarding population.

At the Order's peak in members during the First War (therefore before most potential mass muggleborn killings) it had 25 members, and I'll make this list shorter:

Pure-Blood: 8/25 = 32%

Alastor Moody, Alice Longbottom, Elphias Doge, Fabian Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Gideon Prewett, James Potter, Sirius Black

Most Likely Pure Blood: 6/25 = 24%

Dedalus Diggle, Edgar Bones, Emmeline Vance, Marlene McKinnon, Peter Pettigrew, Sturgis Podmore

Half-Blood: 6/25 = 15%

Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Mundungus Fletcher, Remus Lupin, Reberus Hagrid, Severus Snape

At Least One Magical Parent: 3/25 = 12%

Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Dorcas Meadows

Muggleborn: 1/25 = 4%

Lily Potter

-----

Only one of the Order members is a muggleborn - Lily Potter.

The fact that even among a group like the Order of the Phoenix (who fought against Voldemort and blood-purists) we see practically no muggleborns just proves the above statistics in Harry's year are the norm. There is probably one or two muggleborns who arrive every year at Hogwarts and they are, overall, a very small present of the population.

This is kind of interesting to me in terms of how much of an issue their very existence is made to be for some wizards in the books, and I thought I should share it since I never see anyone doing maths to calculate population statistics and demographics for the Wizarding Wolrd.

At some point, I should post about the death rates of the two wars with Voldemort along with other stats and timelines I've calculated.

#harry potter #harry potter theory #harry potter thoughts #wizarding world #wizarding population #overthinking #blood status #hp theory #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hollowedtheory #hp thoughts

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hogwartseighthyear · 2 years

Text

your girl

(part 1) | part 2 | part 3

pairing: neville longbottom x fem!reader word count: 4.2k tags: rated M, house-neutral reader, established relationship, sexually suggestive but nothing outright explicit, lots of fluff and mushy lovey-dovey feelings, Y/N used summary: neville’s roommates find you in his bed after your first time together. note: wow my first time posting fanfic on tumblr! i’ve been sitting on this one for a while and finally decided to say fuck it and release it into the wild. enjoy and thanks for reading! (EDIT: per request, there are multiple parts to this series now, but they’re not chronological or continuous. just extra moments with you and neville in this particular universe). (crossposted here to AO3)

“Dean and Seamus said they’ll be pulling an all-nighter down in Hufflepuff with Ernie to finish their Charms essay.”

You hummed absently in response. However, most of your attention was trained on the bookshelf in front of you. You’d been struggling with your latest translation assignment from Professor Babbling, and for as vast and well stocked as the Hogwarts library was, you couldn’t seem to find a proper book on the proto-Germanic phonology of Elder Futhark for the life of you. All the head tilting and squinting at small text was starting to grate on your nerves, and not for the first time you were questioning your own sanity for ever thinking that pursuing a N.E.W.T. in Ancient Runes was a good idea.

“And Harry’s still in London meeting with the Minister.”

You paused at the non-sequitur, your hand poised over the spine of a rather serious-looking tome titled Runic Inscriptions of the First Century, and glanced over at your boyfriend.

Neville hovered next to you, as he had been since the two of you had entered the library together, but only now did you notice the nervous way he shifted on his feet and twiddled with the strap of your bag, which he’d offered to carry.

“…And Ron always stays with Hermione on the weekends,” he added after a few beats of silence.

You raised an eyebrow. “Okay…?”

Neville only chewed on his bottom lip, failing to elaborate any further. You could tell there was something else he wanted to say, but clearly he’d need some prodding to spit it out.

You dropped your hand and turned towards him, forgetting entirely about Ancient Runes, if just for a moment.

“Nev,” you began gently, “I don’t want to sound rude, but why exactly are you telling me this?”

He opened his mouth. Closed it again. Huffed and cast a furtive glance around. The library was sparsely populated, considering that it was a Saturday evening, and there was no one else nearby.

Neville leaned in closer, a pink flush on his cheeks, his voice low. “My dorm’s empty. You could, y’know. Spend the night. If— if you want to, that is.”

“Oh,” you breathed out, eyes widening.

It wasn’t a mystery what Neville actually meant. The two of you had been dating for six months now—him having finally worked up the courage to ask you out after the Battle had ended—and you were quite possibly the happiest you’d ever been: back in Hogwarts with your peers, finishing your education, ridiculously in love with one of your long-time best friends.

Eighth year, as it had been jokingly coined, was a chance to just be normal students. No more looming threats of mortal danger. Instead, these days your interests tended to skew towards more conventional things, like N.E.W.T. level coursework, and Hogsmeade weekends, and snogging your boyfriend senseless in empty classrooms. Or broom closets. Or greenhouses.

You and Neville hadn’t gone any further than that. But you’d— talked about it. Awkwardly, through a lot of blushing and nervous stammering. Neville’s confidence had improved drastically over the past year, of course, but romance was brand new territory, and he was still easily flustered by it.

You’d assured him that you wanted him, though. And he wanted you. And you were both ready to take that next step, whenever the time came.

Apparently, the time would be tonight.

Even though you could feel your heart thrumming against your chest, you couldn’t hold back the smile that broke out across your face, much to Neville’s relief. “I think I’d like that,” you said.

“Really?” he asked.

You nodded, huffing a laugh. “Yes, really.”

“Right, yeah. Brilliant,” he breathed, grinning back at you.

The rest of the evening passed far too slow for your liking. A shared sense of nervous anticipation hung over you and Neville, which grew each time you met each other’s eyes, knowing exactly what was on the other’s mind. Unsurprisingly, you failed to make any headway on your Ancient Runes assignment.

Curfew came and went, and not long after, most of the students in the Gryffindor Tower were winding down and slinking off to bed. You followed Neville to the boys’ dormitory, trying your very best to act natural as you passed through the common room. You couldn’t help but feel like your intentions were written plainly across your forehead: “We’re about to shag!” in bold lettering. But thankfully, the few stragglers that lingered downstairs didn’t pay either of you any mind. You’d been friends with Neville for years, after all, and had spent a good deal of time hanging out in his dorm. Seeing you climb the boys’ stairs was nothing new.

The fact that you and Neville had become more than friends, however, was something you’d kept to yourselves. Being hounded by the press all summer had been difficult for Neville, introverted as he was, and he hadn’t wanted to subject your relationship to their scrutiny as well. Or to anyone’s scrutiny, for that matter.

For the time being, it was nice to have something that only belonged to the two of you.

There was no shortage of awkward fumbling once you and Neville were alone in his dorm. It was different than the snogging and the occasional wandering hand that you’d become accustomed to—much more intense, intimate, bared to each other in the low light and laid out across a real bed. Needless to say, you’d never seen your boyfriend so anxious before. Neville, who had led a student rebellion inside the castle walls, who had been tortured repeatedly by the Carrows, who had stood up to Voldemort and chopped off his snake’s head with the bloody sword of Gryffindor.

Apparently that was all a walk in the park compared to sleeping with you for the first time. The thought amused you just as much as it made you melt with adoration.

After enough time and careful exploration, though, you and Neville managed to lose yourselves in one another. The movement of your hands, mouths, and bodies relaxed into something natural and instinctive, and your collective nerves gave way to much more pleasing sensations: his hot breath against your neck, your legs wrapped around his hips, sweat-slick skin and quiet moans.

You clung to Neville on the narrow mattress afterwards, hazy and content. And when you fell asleep, you did so gently, slowly, without even realizing.

However many hours later, you woke to the ringing of an alarm clock. The volume had been spelled low, so it wasn’t quite as jarring, but you still made an unhappy noise as the body beneath you shifted. The ringing stopped after a few moments.

In your groggy state of half-consciousness, you registered the feeling of Neville’s fingers brushing the hair off your face, stroking the curve of your cheek. The gentle touches had you nuzzling deeper into his chest. You could hear his heartbeat pressed this close, steady and relaxed.

“Good morning,” Neville said, his voice still rough from sleep. The sound hummed pleasantly against your ear.

“Morning,” you responded—or tried to, at least. The word barely slurred out of your mouth, muffled against Neville’s chest. Closer to an incomprehensible grunt than actual English.

He laughed quietly. “I need to get up, darling.”

“Mm. Whatimes’it?”

“Seven-thirty.”

“Too early,” you declared, tightening your hold around Neville. It was warm and comfortable under the covers with him, sharing body heat. You were quite certain in that moment that you could lie there happily for the rest of your life. Not even Voldemort himself waltzing into the boys’ dormitory could pull you from Neville’s bed. Little busy here, Tom, you’d say before rolling over and going back to sleep.

Neville placed a kiss on the top of your head, then another on your temple, making you melt further into his embrace. He knew just how to wear you down.

“I told Professor Sprout I’d help her defang the geraniums this morning,” he said, lips still brushing against your face.

“Isn’t it Sunday?”

“Yes?”

“So responsible,” you murmured, turning to press a kiss to Neville’s chest, the sparse hair there tickling your face. You let your mouth trail upwards and began to kiss at the tender skin of his throat. You were careful not to leave any marks, tempting as it was, but delighted in the way he inhaled sharply and squirmed beneath you.

“Are you absolutely sure you need to get up?” you asked.

Neville groaned. “Yes. But you’re making it hard.”

You raised your head, unable to resist the stupid grin that spread across your face. “Oh, am I?”

He groaned again, this time for a very different reason, and flung an arm over his eyes. “That was terrible,” he said, despite the way his mouth curled up in an answering grin.

You laughed and tugged at Neville’s arm. “Come on, don’t hide from me now! It’s not like you have much left to hide after last night, anyway—”

Neville cut you off, lunging forward and catching your lips in a demanding kiss. He was insistent, pushing until you were the one being pressed down into the mattress, switching your positions. His face was warm and flushed against yours, and neither of you stopped smiling, even after he pulled away.

For a long moment you simply laid there as Neville hovered above you, staring into each other’s eyes. You reached up and cupped his cheek with one hand, running your thumb over the pink scar that cut along his cheekbone. He’d collected a number of them the year prior. Several of which were inflicted by dark magic and would never fade. Even still, they didn’t seem to bother Neville. He wore them proudly, unselfconsciously.

At times like this it was hard to believe that, despite everything, you’d ended up here. Alive and well with the man you loved. That after so much pain and destruction, you’d managed to find this indescribable happiness.

Neville leaned into your touch, his expression soft and affectionate. “Go back to sleep,” he said gently. “I shouldn’t be gone more than two hours. I’ll even swing by the Great Hall and bring back breakfast when I’m finished.”

“Okay,” you finally agreed, keeping your voice quiet, unwilling to disrupt the moment. “I love you.”

“I love you too, petal.”

You burrowed deeper under the covers, trying to soak up your boyfriend’s residual heat, and allowed your eyes to close, half listening to Neville shuffle around the room as he dressed. By the time he came over to press one last kiss to your temple, you were already drifting off.

It wasn’t a deep sleep. Not like the way you’d slept the night before, safe and sated in your lover’s arms, essentially dead to the world. Rather, you could feel yourself suspended somewhere just beneath the surface of consciousness. The transition when you woke for the second time that morning was easier and far more pleasant.

The sun streaming in through the windows was brighter now, making you squint as your eyes adjusted. Craning your neck towards the nightstand, you saw the alarm clock read just a bit past nine. Neville would likely return in the next half hour with breakfast in tow. The prospect brought a smile to your face. Merlin, you were lucky.

You sat up in bed, letting the blankets pool around your hips, and heaved a big yawn. Scrubbing a hand over your face, you wondered if you’d have time to pop in the shower before Neville came back. You could certainly use one. Or maybe if you waited, you could ask him to join you.

That idea made your heart rate pick up. Surely, now that you and Neville had crossed that threshold, there would be a whole world of experiences you would explore together. New things that you would learn about one another. Even just the thought of pressing your body against his in the shower had butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

You were startled from your daydreams by the door opening.

It wasn’t Neville.

“We still have until class tomorrow to finish— BLOODY HELL!” Dean cried out when his eyes landed on you, coming to an abrupt stop. Seamus and Ron, who were trailing in behind Dean, bumped into his back.

Much to your horror, you realized that you were still naked.

You shrieked and dove under the covers, tugging them over your head for good measure. The three boys shouted in alarm, and you could hear their panicked clamoring outside Neville’s bed.

“Fuck, Y/N, we’re so sorry—!” Dean was saying.

“Y/N? Is that really—?” Seamus.

“Merlin’s beard! With Neville—?” Ron.

“I bloody told you so, Weasley! You owe me five galleons!” Seamus.

“Can you two not—?” Dean.

“FUCK OFF!” you bellowed.

More scrambling. Two sets of footsteps fled the dormitory and thundered back down the stairs, but one remained, hurriedly shuffling about. Heart hammering in your chest, you uncovered your head and peered out over the edge of the blanket.

Ron had his back to you, thankfully, as he rushed to dig through his trunk across the room. Even from behind you could see that the tips of his ears were nearly as red as his hair.

“Sorry, I just— It’s just that ‘Mione lost her jumper and, uh, I told her I’d, um— I’d look for it here,” he said, rapidly pulling apart the contents of his trunk and discarding them on the floor. When that search turned up empty, he haphazardly shoved everything back inside and scuttled over to rifle through his wardrobe.

You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. It felt as though your face would burst into flames at any moment.

“Ron.”

He paused, still refusing to look your way. “…Yes?”

“You’re a wizard,” you said evenly. “Can’t you just summon it?”

“Oh! Well, yeah, I suppose I could try.” Ron fished his wand out of his pocket and cleared his throat. “Accio Hermione’s jumper!”

The jumper shot out from underneath Ron’s bed and flew straight into his hand. “Brilliant!” He turned to you with a wide grin, which immediately faltered when he saw you still shielding yourself beneath the blankets. He scratched at the back of his neck, his eyes darting between you and anywhere else in the room.

“So. You and Neville, huh?” he asked with an awkward gesture towards Neville’s bed.

You just stared at Ron, wishing that the floor would open up and eat him whole.

“…Right,” he said after a prolonged silence. “Well. Cheers, Y/N.” And with that, he left the dorm, closing the door behind him.

You took a moment to simply lie there, gazing up blankly at the canopy above you. Perhaps if you escaped out the window—a cushioning charm or a summoned broom would do the trick—and ran away to live the rest of your life in the Forbidden Forest, you wouldn’t have to face any of Neville’s roommates ever again.

Eventually, after enough mortified brooding, you redressed in the clothes you’d left strewn about the floor the night prior. You weren’t particularly keen on anyone else walking in and seeing you in your birthday suit.

By the time you were slipping your feet into your shoes, Neville returned. He had his wand held up, levitating two plates of breakfast fresh from the Great Hall in front of him. You instantly relaxed at the sight of him, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as he sat himself next to you on the edge of the bed, handing you a plate. His face was scrunched into a confused pout.

“Everyone was looking at me weird in the common room,” he said. “I don’t have any dirt on my face, do I? I checked before I left the greenhouse.”

You paused, feeling your insides immediately drop. “Everyone?” you squeaked. You might not have been necessarily close with Neville’s friends, but you were friendly with all of them. They were good people. There was no way they would have ran off and told all the other Gryffindors—

“Well, no, just the guys and Hermione,” Neville said, much to your relief. He stared hard at the toast on his plate, contemplating, before glancing over at you. “Did something happen with them while I was gone?” he asked.

You tried and failed not to cringe at the memory. “Um— Just that three of your roommates barged in here and saw my tits. That’s all.”

Neville made a startled noise and fumbled his plate. His toast slid off the edge and landed on the floor. “What?”

“Yeah. It was quite horrific for everyone involved.” You sighed and took your first bite of breakfast.

“I— They— Fucking hell,” Neville stammered, his eyes wide. He wasn’t one to swear very often, so you could tell he was worked up.

You nodded along. “I think Seamus and Ron had a bet going as to whether or not you and I were together, too.”

“Merlin, Y/N. Are you alright?” he asked, setting his breakfast aside to wrap an arm around you. “Did they say anything rude? I’ll— I’ll kill them, I swear!”

His face was fierce and determined, and despite the situation at hand, you couldn’t help but adore how your boyfriend was jumping at the bit to defend you. It was just so cute. Everything about him was.

“You’d risk life in Azkaban for me?” you asked, gently teasing.

“In a heartbeat.”

You huffed a laugh and leaned in closer to Neville’s side. “Maybe we should hold off on the murder for now. I’d miss you too much if you were locked away forever.”

He gave your shoulder a squeeze. “I could tell them off for you. Or I could jinx them for a week straight. Whatever you say.”

“I’m fine,” you assured him. “No one was rude to me. It was all just really, really embarrassing. Though I do appreciate the offer.” You held up your own piece of toast for Neville to take a bite. His was still sitting on the floor next to his trainers.

Once you had both finished eating, having set aside your empty plates to be taken care of by the house elves, you spoke up again.

“Nev?” you asked, hesitant. “You’re not… upset that people know about us now, are you?”

You were aware that it was a stupid concern driven by your own insecurity. You didn’t doubt that Neville loved you and would never be ashamed of you. But the thought still niggled at the back of your mind. What if he didn’t want to go public yet? What if the press caught on? How much trouble would this create for the two of you?

Predictably, Neville’s face softened at your question. “Of course not. Why would I be upset?”

“I mean, I know that we were keeping things just between us and I feel really bad that—”

“Love,” he interrupted, “I don’t mind. It was nice having you all to myself for a while, but honestly? I’ve kind of been looking forward to, y’know. Showing you off.” He glanced away, bashful.

“Really?” you asked, your heart swelling.

Neville nodded. “‘Course. I want people to know that you’re my girl. I mean, as long as you’re okay with that,” he rushed to add. “I could still tell my dorm mates to keep their mouths shut, if you want—”

“Neville!” you cut him off, laughing. “Yes, I’m okay with that. More than.” You leaned over to peck his cheek. “I love being your girl.”

The two of you didn’t linger much longer. Neville objected to your idea of escaping through the window, and there was no other way out of the boys’ dormitory, so your only option was to steel your nerves and prepare to face his friends. His friends that had seen you naked and had definitely gathered what you were doing the night before. God. The sheer embarrassment was nearly life-ending, but you were helped along by Neville’s hand in yours, leading you down the spiral staircase and into the common room.

He didn’t let go. Not even when your joint arrival caught the attention of the five Gryffindors—now including Ginny—seated by the fire, who all abruptly stopped talking and turned to stare at you and and your boyfriend.

There was a long, painful silence. A silence that was, unfortunately, broken by Seamus.

“Neville, Y/N, er— congrats,” he said with an awkward smile.

The others all immediately groaned. Hermione—wearing her jumper, you noticed—buried her face in her hands. You raised your eyebrows at Seamus.

“What? What? Oh, come on!” he cried out indignantly, sitting up in the armchair he’d been lounging in. “I wasn’t congratulating them on the sex, I was congratulating them on the— you know!” He flapped his hand towards you and Neville. “The relationship! I mean, you two are dating now, aren’t you?”

You closed your eyes briefly, trying to gather the willpower to not take out your wand and hex Neville’s roommate. “Yes, Seamus, we’re dating,” you said with great restraint.

“Nice going, Finnigan,” Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, thanks for that, Seamus,” Neville sighed.

“Anyways,” Hermione said, shooting an unimpressed look at Seamus before turning back to you, “I think you two make a lovely couple.”

“Same here,” Dean said kindly, though his face was still a bit sheepish. “I reckon most of us were wondering when it was gonna happen.”

“Most of us,” Seamus snickered and gave his own pocket a pat. It jingled.

“Hey, I’m not blind,” Ron huffed, crossing his arms. “Everyone knows Neville’s been making googly eyes at Y/N for years. I just didn’t think he’d worked up the nerve to ask her out yet. Sorry, mate,” he added, nodding at Neville.

You looked to your boyfriend, whose cheeks had gone rather pink. Which was really quite funny, that he could still act so shy about his crush on you, despite six months of dating. Despite the frequent “I love you’s.” Despite the unholy things he did to you just the night before.

“Years?” you asked, a wondrous little smile curling at your mouth.

“At least since the Triwizard Tournament,” Ginny piped up with a wicked grin. “I swore he was ‘bout to pitch himself off the Astronomy Tower when you agreed to go to the Yule Ball with that Durmstrang boy.”

“No, no, it was definitely before that,” Dean said, turning to his friends. “Don’t you guys remember that time in third year when I sent Y/N a chocolate frog on Valentine’s Day and Neville didn’t speak to me for a week?”

“Well I always thought that when we all met in first year on the train—” Hermione began, but was abruptly cut off.

“OKAY!” Neville shouted. By that point most of the other Gryffindors in the common room were looking over at the lot of you, and the flush on Neville’s face had darkened considerably. “If you’re all quite done, me and Y/N will be off.”

At that moment, the entrance to the common room swung open and Harry stepped in through the portrait hole. Everyone who was gathered in front of the fire stopped and turned to look at him. Harry drew up short, raising his eyebrows.

“Hello,” he greeted you all cautiously. “…Did I miss something?”

“Neville and Y/N are shagging,” Ron announced. Harry’s eyebrows climbed even higher on his forehead.

“Ronald!” Hermione reached over to smack his arm.

“What?” he asked incredulously.

“Seriously? Do you not have any tact?”

“They were the ones screwing in our dorm room!”

Dean scoffed. “Oh, as if we don’t all know what you and Hermione get up to when—”

“Eugh! Stop, stop, that’s my brother, I don’t want to hear it!” Ginny said, covering her own ears.

Ron was sputtering. Hermione’s mouth hung open, mortified. Harry looked supremely uncomfortable. And Seamus was trying and failing miserably to hold in his laughter.

“Oh my god,” Neville muttered. “Come on, we’re leaving.” He tightened his grip on your hand and swiftly ushered you out of the Gryffindor common room, the sound of his friends descending further into chaos fading as the Fat Lady’s portrait swung shut behind you.

You weren’t sure where Neville was leading you, or if he even had a destination in mind other than away, but the two of you eventually came to a stop in the middle of an empty corridor. As soon as your eyes met, you and Neville both broke out into a fit of laughter, only somewhat hysterical.

“Merlin!” you exclaimed. “I suppose that’s one way to break the news to your friends.”

“They’re a bunch of bigmouthed trolls, is what they are,” Neville said, though not without a fair amount of exasperated fondness.

You stepped forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, clutching at the front of his sweater. He immediately brought a hand up to rub circles on your back. “The whole school is going to know by dinnertime with how loud they were,” you said.

Neville hummed. He didn’t sound displeased.

You raised your head, peering at your boyfriend curiously. “You really don’t mind, do you?” you said, more of an observation than a question.

“Well, you heard them.” Neville, wearing a serene—if not slightly embarrassed—smile, moved to cup your face in his hands. “I’ve been crazy about you for years.”

#neville longbottom x reader #neville longbottom x you #neville x reader #neville x you #neville longbottom #neville longbottom fic #my writing #still not too happy about this one but i really can't be fucked to edit it any more #so here i am dumping it unceremoniously into the tags. bone apple teeth

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