Okay, but like—imagine with me here:
It’s Mabel and Dipper’s 21st birthday, and as a celebration Stan and Ford take them to a interdiemensional bar that just ABOSOLUTELY HUGE and it’s a bar that exists inbetween universes, so in the bar that night of Dipper’s birthday—
There’s a ton fuck of Dippers there.
Turns out, they rented the entire place out.
There’s a bunch of them from different AUs—Monster Falls, Transcendence AU, Fight Falls, Reverse Falls, Zero Gravity, even a few of the Dipper’s from the fanfics the fandom makes. Some of them are monster hunters, leaders of the criminal underworld, interdiemensional backpackers, professors—and they’re all just drinking.
To the surprise, shock, confusion and horror of the Canon Pines, they’re all talking about Bill and complaining about their Pines families.
“But why is Bill so hot though?”
“I dunno man, ask Mr. I-Was-A-Triangle.”
“But why was he a triangle in your universe?”
“Beggars can’t be choosers y’know.”
“Maybe it’s the freedon and chaotic appeal. Beats our families.”
“Oh yeah, they’re pieces of shit. Like all the times Ford looked down on me—“
“When Stan used me for a money schemes—“
“And all the times Mabel just left us for fucking dead.”
“Yeah, what were we thinking? That asshole literally almost threw the entire Multiverse into chaos, just for another day of summer, that little—“
“I, for one, enjoy the chaos.”
“Yeah, yeah, we get it, you insane maniacal bitch. You like Weirdmageddon. Stop with the torture stories dude. I’m trying to drink my problems away here, not gain more.”
“Let’s just be glad we all left those losers for Bill!”
“And whoever the fuck Wirt is! Here’s to fucking our families over!”
“And pulling our heads out of our asses!”
“What in the actual fuck?”
All the Dippers just turn to see the Canons and they’re all like—
“Well if isn’t the straight, bitchy loser of the group!”
“Ugh, and he’s still hanging with them.”
“LETS ALL POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM!” (And yes, that was probably Alcor).
The Canon Pines get called out for their bullshit, Dipper gets explained the messy batshit the fandom calls Billdip (and Pinescone/Cipher Pinescone) and meanwhile, in another room of the bar—
There’s just the Bills and Wirts from the Dippers’ universes.
Most of the Wirts are having civil conversations and making small talk and comparing universes.
The Bills, on the other hand, are literally congratulating and patting themselves on the back for being so hot and amazing and getting Pine Tree (and Music Note/Pilgrim, in some cases). Like—
“Ah yes, we’re so amazing.”
“And we have great personalities.”
“And Pine Tree is ours.”
“And Music Note.”
“Ah, we’re so great.”
“Here’s to our beautiful, legendary asses.”
So, writing mature GF fics, especially Billdip feels weird sometimes because I’m like… how did a Disney show get so dark? And then I was flipping through my journal 3 and found this note from Bill and I was like… That’s right, this is why this fandom is fucked 😂 Thanks Alex!
My mans really said he was gonna kill this 12 yr old, make it look like suicide and then Dipper would be stuck in his Danny Phantom form forever… His only hope at communication, possessing sock puppets like wtf.
"He recognized the port, of course he did. How could he not? It was his home . Tinged by pinkish glass, Gravity Falls slept quietly outside the window.
The first cannonball that ripped through the still night air felt as if it blew a hole through his heart."
Redraw of this picture, now that we've finally reached that part of the story!
(Without the glass effects below)
do NOT pass the mentally ill child the animal planet channel they'll just start watching monsters inside me and worrying obsessively about a tapeworm being in their body for weeks straight
yada yada you know the drill @frootrollup1‘s human bill cause hes been living in my mind for months i want to punch him affectionately and then treat the ugly bruise i gave him