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#human emotions are complicated

generic-whumperz · 8 months

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In lieu of proper romance may I present to you- mutual awkward pining from protagonist and love interest who are equally afraid of expressing their feelings but act as if they are in a relationship anyway?

It ain’t much, but it’s honest work and the best I can do, take it or leave it.

#no wait come back- don’t leave it #please just take it #I don’t understand human emotions #it’s more fun to be cryptic and complicated #I can’t write romance #I can’t write love #mutual pining #is this problematic #pining #awkward characters #not whump #what the hell is this #romance?#writing is hard #idk what im on about #character pairing

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silverwhittlingknife · 1 year

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Has Tim ever put Dick on a pedestal?

100% yes! This is basically Tim's backstory IMO. Prior to meeting Dick in Lonely Place of Dying, Tim's a kid who's got a distant, idealized, made-for-TV vision of Dick and Bruce - mostly Dick - and he sets out on a quest based entirely around that misperception.

Aaaand then he immediately crashes headfirst into reality, because the Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne he remembers from his childhood memories and daydreams are like this:

But it turns out that the actual real-life human people are a bit more, uh, cranky than Tim's glossy vision - things are tense and neither of them are super-happy to meet Tim:

And Tim has to rethink a bunch of his mistaken deductions as it slowly dawns on him that - far from being a plucky team - Dick and Bruce are actually not getting along at all:

And so Tim has to realize his whole plan of "Dick has to be Robin again!!! That will fix everything!!! :)))))" was actually wrong, and based on a misunderstanding of Bruce and Dick's relationship. And having realized he was wrong, he immediately sets about trying to figure out what he’s failed to understand in the most intrusive way possible—by asking lots of nosy questions!

Actually-meeting-Dick is basically the end of Tim’s super-idealized vision of Dick. It's not a vision that can survive contact with an actual human being who's snapping at you. And kid!Tim is (I love him but) extremely pushy and annoying, and Dick's a prickly young adult who is not above getting annoyed, which means Dick snaps at him pretty regularly.

But Tim does continue to admire him.

So for their various interactions after Lonely Place of Dying, IMO "does Tim have Dick on a pedestal" is kind of a judgment call based on your assessment of Dick's relative strengths/virtues. What's unambiguous: Tim has a consistently higher opinion of Dick than Dick does of Dick, and they argue about it a lot.

I had way too many thoughts about this, so below the cut:

Comics where Dick and Tim have conversations along the lines of Dick: "I suck and I'm failing at everything." Tim: "That's not true!! Actually you're great and you're succeeding at the thing you think you're failing at!!"

So who's right - Dick or Tim?

Dick and Tim's high opinions/expectations of each other: the plusses and minuses

Comic examples

Here are a couple different variations on Tim thinking that Dick is great (often when Dick's less sure):

in Showcase, Tim thinks that Dick’s a way better teammate than Azrael, even as Dick’s thinking himself as a failure who let the Titans down;

in Prodigal, Dick tells Tim a story about confronting Two-Face which to Dick symbolizes a moment of great failure and which Tim insists was a no-win situation where Dick did the best he could;

also in Prodigal, Dick’s despairing over how badly he thinks their encounter with Killer Croc went and meanwhile Tim thinks it went fine (after all, Dick listened to him and called an ambulance instead of beating up Croc!), and Tim tells Dick to lighten up and Dick talks about how he’s a failure;

in Nightwing 6, Dick thinks he’s doing badly in Blüdhaven and he’s self-conscious about it and paranoid about what Tim might tell Bruce, and Tim insists that the fact that Dick’s being targeted means he’s succeeding and getting close instead of failing, and Dick retorts that this won’t be comforting if he winds up dead because getting close just isn’t good enough;

also in Nightwing 6, Tim thinks Dick was a better Robin than Tim is, and Dick thinks he wasn’t that great and that Tim’s better;

post-Last Laugh, Tim’s insistent that Dick's being too hard on himself about attacking the Joker whereas Dick's really haunted by the experience and confides that it feels like he's discovered a terrible dark side of himself;

way later in Nightwing 110, Tim’s seeking Dick out and Dick’s trying to avoid him because he thinks he’s a bad person who’d be bad for Tim;

in BW: Murderer, Tim doesn’t trust Bruce absolutely, but in Red Robin, he does trust Dick absolutely (or at least, more than Tim trusts himself);

etc. etc. etc.

Who's right: Dick or Tim?

So, is Tim being too easy on Dick and looking at him with rose-colored glasses, and Dick’s harsher view of himself is the correct one; or is Dick a perfectionist who’s being too hard on himself, and Tim’s the one who’s actually seeing Dick’s strengths more clearly?

I don’t think the comics really commit one way or another! These are moments of multiple-perspectives, where we notice that Tim has one attitude and Dick has another attitude and that tells us things about the characters, not moments that are meant to resolve to a simplistic “one person is Right and one person is Wrong.” I think often you could argue that they're both right? So, like, if you wanted to take the approach of, "Tim's idolizing him but he's not actually as great as Tim thinks," I don't think the comics precisely contradict that interpretation.

... THAT SAID, look, I am a Dick Grayson fan at heart, and I tend to lean toward “Dick’s being too hard on himself.”

Tim’s not oblivious to Dick’s flaws—he immediately figures out, for example, that Dick’s gonna attack the Joker, and rushes off to stop him; he just isn’t as judgmental about this moment as Dick is, and he doesn’t think it makes Dick an awful person forever. The point is (Tim says later, practical-minded) that it was made right, and Dick shouldn’t beat himself up about it. In Prodigal, Tim’s not unaware that their fight with Croc went badly; he’s just focused on how Dick’s morals and teamwork-centric attitude feel right to him in a way that Azrael’s didn’t, and look, Tim didn’t get shot even though he got shot at, and isn’t that the important thing? Tim gets caught in the same ambush that Dick does in Nightwing 6; he just takes the glass-half-full attitude toward it while Dick takes the glass-half-empty attitude. And so on.

Tim admires Dick, looks up to him, trusts him, interprets his flaws generously, and doesn’t think he’s a failure. And... this isn't quite in the comics, but it doesn't contradict them: I like to imagine Dick feeling like he's on a pedestal, and feeling kinda uncomfortable with Tim's admiration when he's forced to realize it exists, and feeling like he doesn't deserve it, and sometimes subconsciously braced for the other shoe to drop, convinced that Tim can't possibly really think this forever, that he's deluded somehow, and that eventually Tim will realize who Dick really is and get disillusioned and leave.

And I tend to think of Dick having this problem a bit with everyone in his life who thinks highly of him, but especially with Tim, because he doesn't feel like Tim's ever needed him or that he's done anything worth Tim's admiration. I feel like Dick - despite some insecurities - does know his own worth as a team leader, and he knows he was a good partner to Bruce, and he understands when he's helping people who are clearly floundering, like Damian and Rose. But all he's ever done for Tim is...hang out, and be nice. And he doesn't think Tim ever needed fixing or saving, and he vastly underestimates both the value of his own friendship in general and how much it's meant to Tim in particular. Not all the time, because later in their relationship when they've known each other for years I do think Dick does feel a bit more secure in that friendship and entitled to make demands based on it (and vice versa, for Tim). But I do imagine Dick periodically feeling like Tim lets him off the hook too easily, and thinks more highly of him than he should, and alternating between being grateful for it and uncomfortable with it.

But I would argue that Dick does deserve Tim’s admiration!

Look, Dick's not a perfect person - no one is. He does screw up sometimes, and sometimes he's petty or jealous, and sometimes his temper gets the better of him. But he is pretty great! He's brave and thoughtful and kind and generous and caring. He takes his own grief and his own suffering and devotes himself to helping other people. And Tim sees that. Tim watches an orphaned kid crying on stage, and has nightmares about it - and later recognizes the hero in him. Tim stops Dick from beating the Joker to death, and he holds Dick back from strangling Hugo Strange, and he talks Dick down from two separate panic attacks, and he listens to Dick monologue about his various perceived failures, and he gets yelled at a lot when Dick's annoyed with him, and his takeaway from all of that is that he believes in Dick, and trusts Dick, and thinks he's a hero.

You could see that as Tim having him on a pedestal and refusing to acknowledge the ugly reality. But I tend to see it as Tim understanding that Dick's flaws and occasional missteps don't define who he is - the fact that Dick's human doesn't make him any less of a hero. Tim can see the hero that Dick can't always see in himself.

Dick and Tim have really high opinions of each other... for better or worse

Tim's not alone in having a high opinion of Dick - Dick thinks Tim's pretty great, too! Dick repeatedly compares himself to Tim and finds himself wanting, whether he's thinking that Tim's a better partner for Bruce, or having a fear toxin nightmare where Tim's a rival who's beating him out of a job, or deciding that Tim would never have let Blockbuster die (and that he'll be better off if Dick avoids him), or musing that Tim would be a better Batman. Dick calls Tim his equal and closest ally in Red Robin; Tim thinks Dick is "the best" in his origin story and basically never changes his mind.

I think nowadays we're sometimes pretty highly-attuned to the way that high expectations can be bad or oppressive, and... I have mixed feelings about this? On the one hand, it isn't untrue! Dick and Tim's mutual high opinions of each other, and correspondingly high expectations, are not an unmixed blessing! They 100% cause problems! Dick and Tim think highly of each other, and expect a lot from each other, and sometimes they're pushy or abrupt or demanding when they could stand to be more sensitive. And the iffy side of high expectations is something I find interesting, and I do think it's solidly canon-based - you see aspects of this in several of their comic conflicts - LPoD, Graduation Day, BftC, RR, etc.

But at the same time, it's complicated! I don't think you can fully untangle the higher expectations from "they rely on each other and have a lot of faith in each other." Love and trust are different things, and Dick and Tim care a whole lot about being trusted, not just about being loved.

I also think it's important that their belief in each other is often a gift rather than an inevitability: Dick and Tim choose to see each other in positive ways. Something they both do is after they have a conflict, they'll apply on a retrospective very positive gloss to whatever just happened. So e.g. Dick starts Resurrection mad at Tim, and ends it by declaring, "I let you make the choice... because I knew you'd make the right one." Tim spends most of Red Robin 1-12 mad at Dick, and ends it by declaring that he knew Dick would catch him because Dick's always there for him. And in both cases, we-the-readers are aware that they knew no such thing! But to me, that doesn't make these declarations meaningless - it makes them more meaningful. Their faith in each other is sometimes genuinely felt, and sometimes it's something they stubbornly brute-force into existence because they want to give that gift to each other.

And I mean... Tim did make the right choice. Dick was there when it really counted. Just because it isn't the whole truth doesn't mean it's not a truth.

Now, does this positivity also put some pressure on them? Absolutely! They're both people who are very upset by failure, so they tend to reassure each other by insisting that there was no failure, could never be failure, failure is impossible, even when they know perfectly well that's not true. They praise each other's skills as a love language, when what they mean is I love you no matter what. They talk about other people's needs but don't always acknowledge each other's. And it'd probably be healthier if they said instead, "Even if you'd made the wrong choice, it'd be okay, because it's okay to make the wrong choice sometimes," or "Even if you're not always there for me, that's okay, because no one can be there for someone else all the time."

And they do not say that, because Dick and Tim are relatively well-adjusted by Batfamily standards but that is a very low bar, and at the end of the day they're still deeply messed-up perfectionists who deal with their emotional problems by punching crime in the face.

But look, they're trying. And isn't that the important thing? <3

#dick 'imposter syndrome' grayson and tim 'dick grayson stan' drake #dick grayson #tim drake #dick & tim #ask tag #i rambled for a really long time anon <3 #it's complicated because i feel like mmmm the ''pedestal'' thing is obv true in some ways #but i think it also sometimes gets used in this kinda flanderized way #where it gets extrapolated into claims like ''older!tim is shocked to learn dick experiences normal human emotions' or w/e #and obv fandom is transformative and a rich tapestry etc but for me personally #part of what i LOVE about tim's introduction is that dick is in the middle of one of his very angsty eras #so tim's burst into his life being all ''hiiiiii!!! you're the best :)))))'' when dick is at peak ''i am gloomy and depressed''#that said tim's high opinion of dick is very canon and very compelling to me <3 #tim does think dick is the greatest thing ever!#but it's more like being a stan of his rather than being a distant stranger who doesn't know him at all #it's not that tim's unaware that dick gets angry/sad/etc or that dick and tim never have fights (they do!)#it's more that unless they're actively in the middle of a fight tim admires/loves dick a lot and is determined to think well of him #so he considers all of dick's strengths What's Important About Him and all of his flaws Basically A Rounding Error If You Think About It #and he doubles-down on this when someone's questioning it (including Dick)#there is definite motivated reasoning at play in Tim's view of Dick but imo it's not quite the same as a pedestal sdfdsfds #i'm not sure there's anything that Dick could do that Tim couldn't find a way to justify in his head how it was okay /#not really Dick / not really his fault / etc. - like if Dick went on a murder spree #Tim would be there making the big This Isn't You! I Know You Won't Kill Me Because I Believe In You! speech #and like. if he was wrong then he'd be dead sdfdsf but the thing is he'd have secret doubts and be wary AND STILL #find himself ultimately making that speech / taking the risk - and ditto for Dick toward Tim #it's not that they never get mad / distrust each other and it's not impossible they'd stay bitter and suspicious for a while #but in the END they both really really WANT to trust each other

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irisbaggins · 11 months

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The novelisation of the Phantom Menace has made me so incredibly sad, where little Anakin sees an injured Tusken and decides to disobey Watto to sit by the Raider until he wakes up. Anakin has such a deep, loving heart that he was willing to suffer the consequences of disobedience to make sure a Tusken Raider would be safe, a being he was taught all his life were brutal and cruel. And in this chapter, Anakin admits that the only thing that truly scares him, is of losing his mother. That juxtaposition, that note of I will care for this creature to I fear losing my mother, put so much more weight onto AOTC, and of Anakin's rage. He broke, and he lost himself to his rage. When faced with what he did, he rages against the world and his actions, before breaking down into further sobs at the loss of his mother and the actions he made. His worst fear was realised, and he became the monster that everyone claimed the Tuskens to be.

It'll be interesting to read the AOTC novelisation, to see if this scene is ever called back to. I just find it interesting, and further showcases the depths of Anakin's feelings and compassion, as well as the pitfalls that such strong emotions come with. For if you feel compassion and love as deeply as Anakin does, so will you feel the destructive nature of all of your rage. And that, that is Anakin's biggest weakness; he feels too strongly to ever truly control it.

#text_iris #I just love Anakin so much and this novel just makes me scream at how good it is #Anakin Skywalker #Star Wars #The Phantom Menace #Star Wars Meta #Like...I relate to the Feeling Too Strongly 'cos ADHD which has made my rage an overwhelming thing #The amounts of time I've lost myself to my rage are numerous and I understand too well how that can happen #Like. That rage where you just lose all sense of self? Yeah. As a kid I was...a ball of rage #Mellowed out with the years of course but still. It happened. It was real. And Anakin Skywalker as a character made me realise things #Like when I was younger I realised the reason why my rage was like that was due to the fact I felt so strongly #Any emotion I had would just consume me. ANY emotion. And I realised that by looking at Anakin meta #So...yeah. Anyway this novel is killing me with emotions already and I'm only on the seventh chapter #Anyway Anakin never relished his violence against the Tuskens instead he tried to work through what happened #What he did why he did it and HOW because?? He didn't want to he was a Jedi but he also wanted to HURT them for taking his mom #It's COMPLICATED and that's sooo good because it's REALISTIC and PAINFUL #Anakin let his rage consume him! Which is bad! But also human! It's complicated!! He regrets his actions but also not but also he does!!#Aaa so many emotions about this one eldritch lightning rod of a being

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starheirxero · 3 days

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imagine for me

a robot who wants to be a human- no, a breathing, pulsing living being.

it felt like its code doesn't match well with its body, and has always refer to itself as a soul trapped in a metal bar cage.

it wants its wires to be veins, its chest plate as an actual chest, its sensors to explore more of the living's natural senses, its arms travelling and transferring blood instesad oil and motor

so what does it do?

stuff the organs it harvested into its body to feel whole

it crouches on its idol's body, scooping its remains and shoved them into its opening chest plate. lungs, hearts, guts and livers

everything it could get its cold, bloodied, deserving hands on

it felt fleeting, heavenly, the bloody pool beneath it growing as its body shuts it tight, the stolen organs kept safe in it

it felt like it's finally living.

anyways teehees :3 :3

- 📦

THIS WAS LITERALLY SEN5 BACK IN FEBRUARY BUT YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!

YESYESYES THIS IS SO EVERYTHING!!!!!! Seeing the dripping, red flesh secreting from its own body and, if only for a moment, it feels like it is truly just as organic as the corpse laid its feet, and its perfect <3 UGH BRILLIANT I LOVE IT

There's so many ways to interpret this and have it explored and frankly I will embarrass myself if I elaborate but know that I have been thinking about this ask since the day I got it <3<3<3

#asks #anon #📦 anon #DREAMY SIGHHHHHH #i 💜 gore as a means to make your body feel more akin to one you've wished for <3 #just. like.#it could be jealousy. it coukd be idolization. it could be mourning. it could be relief.#hearing how humans talk of their own existence and misinterpreting it to justify itself #a sentiment of how humans are messy and visceral and complicated thats meant to be more in the emotional aspect #being taken literally as the robot picks out every organ in the humans body #truly it /is/ a messy process. one filled with blood and torn muscles and pesky bones #truly it /is/ visceral. it is bright red and it is flowing and sprayed across the floor and the shiny casing of the robot #truly it /is/ complicated. its so hard to take one thing without damaging another. but its not like it hasn't stufies human anatomy before #its just so. ITS SOOOOO #im normal 😁#gore #cw gore #robot gore #robot tag #blood

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agoddamn · 6 months

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My personal relationship with the word "queer" is that I always say it with the same bitter venom as most people say the word "faggot" because "queer" genuinely was still a slur when I was growing up. I've seen those posts like "queer being a slur is a terf conspiracy theory" but I'm sorry, I lived the experience of an elementary schooler being called "queer" as a filthy, nasty thing.

It happened. Even though I now live in a big city where "queer" is the default, socially acceptable term, "queer" still makes my hackles go up.

And it's fucking fine if you feel like "queer" is a normal word with no bitter aftertaste! I'm not beefing with you!

Just...accept that it's a nasty, ironic word to me, you know? You can tell me all day that "queer studies" has been the socially acceptable term since the 80s and it's gonna mean nothing to the little girl being called queer as in something disgusting because she only drew girls in her small town in 6th grade.

#I'm not even telling you not to use it just. accept that i have complicated feelings from my own perspective #sorry i don't normally go on about this just. I'm having Homo Emotions #gay shit #grinding teeth like i generally understand that people come from different places and do not feel the need to debate this #but. a human emotion has been unlocked within me. how awful

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bogunicorn · 2 months

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wild to me that fandom spaces awash with queer people, especially on tumblr, still clutch their pearls about noncon art and fiction, as if dub- and noncon as both metaphor and kink haven't been staples of multiple genres since, like... ever.

"so-and-so has a noncon kink, that's kind of sus." statistically speaking, your mom has a noncon kink. might be why she enjoyed 50 shades of grey so much. you already grok that horror movie fans aren't out here on the verge of building saw traps and action movie buffs aren't one bad day away from becoming mass shooters. that doesn't become not-true just because it's a sex thing.

#bog post #stay salty #this is a vaguepost but it's also not NOT true yfm #if one person misbehaves in my mentions i *will* turn reblogs off #the science of kinks - esp violent or dub/noncon ones - is pretty clear!#the human brain is complicated our emotions are complicated #and we have a habit of eroticizing things that scare us or that don't make sense #it's not better or worse than sexually fantasizing about ideal situations #it's just another facet of healthy human sexuality #also thought crimes aren't real - nobody can be materially hurt by the things you think of when you jerk off

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forestofsprites · 2 months

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your posts are so cas-coded sometimes, bless your heart

ANON.... anon!!! oh this made me sit upright and have a little laugh. you know, i watched a good bulk of spn with my mother, and when we did that over summer she accused castiel angel of the lord of copying MY silly little (autistic) mannerisms and ways of being. so unfortunately, it exceeds even beyond the realms of tumblr.com!!!! cas coded all over the place, i'm afraid to say!!

#of course not the uh. murder angel of heaven parts #but the easily led when believing theyre doing the right thing. the head tilt and eye squint made her laugh bc . yes. the blunt speaking #and not understanding emotional responses to things (that cas line about not making things overly complicated #like you humans tend to do). the posture also made her laugh. the lack of sarcasm to weird use of sarcasm pipeline. i could go on #ANYWAY POINT IS YOURE NOT ALONE #i hope thats not a bad thing #ask

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eruden-writes · 2 years

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The Unexpected Human Problem - Part 3 (Yautja x Human)

Summary: The night her abductors die, Rayelle finds herself running for her life. She doesn't know where she is, what is following her, where to go. All she knows is she's not on Earth any longer and the thing chasing her has the capacity to kill.

Tai'dqei never anticipated finding a human when he took the job of tracking and subduing a small contingent of smugglers. It was only when the human attacked and fled fled, Tai'dqei - hopped up on the euphoria of a successful hunt - gave chase, instinct burning at his center.

Will sense return to Tai'dqei before he catches Rayelle? Or will Rayelle be subjected to the yautja's natural inclinations?

And what happens afterwards?

---

CHAPTER CONTENT WARNINGS: Forced sedation.

TAG LIST: @ajarofpickledtears

---

It was the jarring thump of the ship that awoke Rayelle. Pushing herself upright on her cot, she stretched her arms over her head and arched her back. There’d be a few more feeding attempts since the first. After her second attempt - throwing the tray at the creature and trying to grab their gauntlet, which seemed to control the door, through the bars - there’d been minimal contact. It would just leave the food in the slot and leave.

Later, it’d retrieve the tray and replace it with a new one. Rayelle couldn’t help but notice they had kept to self-contained foods, like whatever constituted as space-veggies or space-fruit. No more mash, nothing messy.

Though she didn’t eat any of it, she occasionally snagged one or two from the tray. Just enough to not be noticed. She had considered collecting enough to cause damage to the toilet, but she realized wasn’t sure if it would work, since she didn’t know how it got rid of waste. Rayelle eventually decided she wanted something to wing at the creature if it chose to enter again so she had a small collection of hard projectiles.

Now, she wondered what her damn captor was doing. There was a slight shift, as if something had gotten ahold of the ship, and now she heard further hiss of hydraulics and the chunk of something possibly locking into place. Then nothing.

Her eyebrows furrowed, trying to make sense of the sounds and the sensations. Rayelle’s first thought was they had landed - or perhaps docked? - somewhere. It would explain the mechanical whirring and thunking and vibrations, she figured.

But where? Was she about to step onto yet another alien planet? Full of the same massive, mandible-having creatures as her current captor? Or was it going to be a station of some sort?

As Rayelle considered her chances between a single-species planet or outpost versus somewhere with more diversity - and fighting the dissociation that sheer absurd thought caused her - the door to the hallway opened. Her stomach sank as two pairs of footfalls entered the room, the lights brightening. She half-turned to face the front of her cell, glaring through the bars at both the familiar face and the newcomer.

Her red-orange captor stood next to a different colored version of the same species. They were chittering and growling away as they approached Rayelle’s cell, giving her a chance to scrutinize the newcomer.

This one was a sort of grey-blue with black speckles. Their head ridge striated, like a washboard, and their head tendrils were mottled blue-green and pulled back into a sort of pony tail. They were also taller than the red-orange one. Not by much, but enough for Rayelle to notice. They also appeared leaner than her captor, though no less ripped. Just not as intimidatingly buff. The difference between a basketball player and one of those strongman competitors.

They also didn’t wear dark grey armor like the other. Though they did wear a silver chest plate and a matching gauntlet that seemed tech-based. Other than the scant armor, they wore sleeveless grey coveralls and a sleeveless dark blue lab coat. That same odd mesh was used to cover their arms.

A particular gurgle of a growl from her red-orange captor caught Rayelle’s attention. She glanced toward them, not moving from her cot. As the other responded, her eyes narrowed.

She had a suspicion they were discussing her. No surprise. But if the blue one was wearing a lab coat, did that make them a doctor or a scientist? Rayelle pressed her lips together in a tight line, trying to determine which option was worse.

Rayelle jumped as the door to her cell slid open. She scrambled to her feet, grabbing one of the hard fruits she had swiped from a prior meal with her. Her shoulders tensed as she backed away to the far side of the cage. The blue one entered first, the red-orange one lingering in the open entrance.

It approached slowly, carefully, with a hand extended and fingers splayed to show they weren’t a threat. It, too, clicked and gave gurgly growls by means of communication. Though seemingly gentler, more level than how the red-orange one vocalized. With its free hand, from a pocket on its coat, it slowly withdrew a silver boxy object.

Rayelle nervously watched as it held the object up to its own arm, crouching to give her a better view. Light blue light fanned out from the silver box, moving over the alien’s arm. Once the machine beeped, the grey-blue alien turned the box around to show a screen, where alien language flashed and scrolled up.

She glanced from the machine up to the alien, still having no clue what was going on. Something in the blue alien’s eyes seemed hopeful, though. For some reason, the whole situation reminded Rayelle of a doctor showing a young child that a stethoscope doesn’t hurt.

Her attention flickered across the room, where the red-orange creature seemed tense. It appeared ready to spring into action should something happen. Whether it was to keep the blue one safe or herself, Rayelle wasn’t certain. Once more, she glanced warily at the blue alien, before sidling to the side, toward her captor and, more importantly, the exit.

She kept her eyes on the blue alien, her shoulders stiffening as it trilled something. From the corner of her eye, Rayelle saw her captor’s eyes flicker to their comrade, replying to whatever the blue one said.

Tightening her grasp on the alien fruit, which she hid slightly behind her, Rayelle chose to test her luck.

—-

“Hm, they must be more comfortable around you,” Ah’ke observed, as the human edged closer and closer to Tai’dqei.

Tai’dqei was not so certain of their former mate’s assessment. Preparedness tensed along his arms and legs, ready to chase and snatch the human up if his presumption was correct. He shot a look at Ah’ke, though kept awareness on the human. “They’re going to try escaping, just watch.”

“I don’t know.” Ah’ke stood up from their crouch, straightening to full height. “They seem-”

Before Ah’ke could even finish their statement, an orange chemond came hurtling at Tai’dqei. As he instinctively caught the flying projectile, he swore to himself for not counting the numbers of fruit or vegetables he’d given the human.

As expected, the human bolted for the door, hands reaching for the frame as they got close. With a snarl, Tai’dqei lunged and easily grabbed them. As soon as his arms latched around their middle, they squirmed and yelled as he lifted them up. Their feet kicked out as they tried to throw themself to and fro, thrashing with every ounce of their strength. It was like trying to keep a hold of a feral bozeak.

Tai’dqei threw a dirty look to Ah’ke, who had been chittering with amusement over the scene. His mandibles clicked irritatedly. “Going to help or just stand there and laugh?”

“On it.” Ah’ke continued to chuckle, but pulled a tranquilizer injector from their belt, quickly approaching the struggling human and Tai’dqei.

The human in his arms struggled harder, howling as Ah’ke neared. Likely, they recognized the injector, considering how similar it looked to the one Tai’dqei had used that first night.

They even went so far as to attempt to bite Tai’dqei, leaning their top-half over his forearm and sinking their dull little teeth into his forearm. A growl rumbled out from Tai’dqei’s chest, unbidden and not exactly out of anger. Momentarily, the human tensed, bracing for something. Whatever the human thought he would do didn’t happen.

Instead, Ah’ke swept in during the temporary - and likely very short - calm. She pressed the tranq to the human’s thigh, eliciting a startled gasp of whimper from them as the needle punctured their skin.

Their violent struggles resumed, tears pooling at the corners of their eyes before dribbling down their cheeks. The human’s angry yowls turned to quieter wailing, as the force of their fighting dwindled. Even as they slumped in Tai’dqei’s arms, they continued to warble obvious dissent, weakly shoving at his arms.

A small part of Tai’dqei admired the persistence, in spite of how troublesome they’d been.

“I managed to get a hold of the most up-to-date Straux nano-translator worm for you two.” From yet another pocket, Ah’ke withdrew a small case. “These were designed with dated and modern Earthen language as a specialty.”

As she popped the case open, Tai’dqei saw the two yet-to-be-activated earworms. He nodded, relieved that he’d soon be able to communicate with the human. “It’s appreciated.”

“Move them to the cot and I’ll get everything done,” ordered Ah’ke, taking charge of the situation now. Tai’dqei gave a grunt of acknowledgement, adjusting his hold on the human so they were now carried more comfortably in his arms.

After he deposited the inert form on the bed, Ah’ke pushed him out of the way. As she knelt by the human, she held the second translator device out to him. “I trust you can insert your own.”

Once more, Tai’dqei gave an affirmative grunt and took the worm.

“You should move them somewhere more hospitable,” Ah’ke said as she waited for the translator to boot up. As she fiddled with the settings, focusing more on Earthen languages and yautja, she gave a little laugh, “I would not be pleased myself, if I awoke in a brig like this.”

“It was necessary,” Tai’dqei growled, making the same adjustments to their own worm. Over the decades, one got used to upgrading translator tech. He was just thankful the Straux had figured out a way to get the nanoworms to absorb previous versions, rather than having to yank old ones out. “I didn’t know what they’d do to escape. So, for now, the brig.”

The blue metal worm soon came to life, its hundreds of little legs tickling his palm, and he held it up to his ear canal. Tai’dqei braced himself as the thing skittered in and grunted as the harder part initiated. Through bone and cartilage and tissue, the technological bug burrowed. In its wake, it repaired damage done. As efficient as it was, it was not painless.

That was evident as the human, even unconscious, cried out. Ah’ke held them as they jerked on the bed, tears once more streaming down their cheeks. The sedative eventually dealt with the pain and whatever straggling string of consciousness still clung on finally dissipated.

Tai’dqei didn’t realize they had moved closer, watching the human struggle, until he heard himself ask, “They will be okay?”

“They will be fine,” Ah’ke answered with a sigh, as if she’d been asked the same question many times before. She stood up from her stoop, pinning a serious look on Tai’dqei. “Once you’re able to communicate, will you move them to a guest quarters, at least?”

“We’ll see.” He bristled, not looking at Ah’ke as he crossed his arms. Her stern tone stirred something in his core. Something that had been exacerbated multiple times by an unwitting human. He tried not to think about it. “It depends on how they react.”

Giving the human free reign would have made all of the efforts to get them somewhere appropriate useless. They could run straight into a dangerous situation, get themselves killed, and be none-the-wiser. Or, worst yet, they crash his ship and kill them both, perhaps even taking out others in the process.

No, it was better to lock the human down until he could assess their cooperativeness and mentality.

“Go easy on them. From the way you describe it, they may have a lot to adjust to.” Ah’ke got to her feet after wiping red blood from the human’s ear. Tai’dqei had turned his attention back to the human, considering what preparations should be made for when they awoke, when Ah’ke spoke again, “And, about your other issue.”

At the change in subjects, tension raced up Tai’dqei’s spine. He slightly tilted his head toward Ah’ke, hoping not to appear too excited as he straightened up. “Yes?”

She reached out to touch Tai’dqei’s arm and he hesitantly hoped she’d help him. It was a gentle touch, her claws ghosting over his arm. Memories of the past flooded into his brain. But Ah’ke’s words doused whatever soft heat filled his chest. “There’s a brothel on this station. Check them out.”

Tai’dqei’s mandibles flared in agitation, a hiss escaping his mouth, as Ah’ke laughed heartily at him. “I’ve never been into men. You know that, Tai’dqei.”

“I just thought it could be different with me.” Tai’qdei shifted his stance, arms crossed over his chest. He could feel Ah’ke’s knowing amusement and it only made the agitation in him churn harder. Once more, he turned his attention from Ah’ke to a middle distance, unable to meet her gaze. “If it was something purely physical.”

“We tried that, when your change began.” From the corner of his eye, he saw Ah’ke also cross her arms over her chest. Her mandibles twitching downward. Guilt dribbled into his stomach.

“Mhmn.” Tai’dqei fell quiet at the mention of his change, his arms tightening over his chest.

In the course of his relationship with Ah’ke, they both had shifted sexes and, subsequently, genders. Though Tai’dqei found her just as appealing as before, the feeling was not mutual. She only liked women, no matter what her own gender was.

He could have chosen hormone modifiers to reverse the changes, but he hadn’t wanted to. It was a hard feeling to put into words.

Thus, their romantic relationship ended. Not without some complicated feelings, mostly on Tai’dqei’s part.

“I need to return to the clinic,” Ah’ke announced after consulting her wrist gear. The words drew Tai’dqei from memories. It struck him as odd how unaffected Ah’ke appeared. “I’ll check back in soon, okay?”

“Alright,” he replied, his tone unintentionally dipping into dour octaves.

“Tai.” Her hand brushed against his arm again, eliciting prickles along his flesh. Her gaze softened, making something in his chest swell. With a reassuring squeeze of his bicep, Ah’ke softly said, “I still care very much for you, even if we’re not mate compatible.”

“I know, that’s why I trusted you with this,” he answered just as quietly, raising a hand to the sleeping human. There was a beat of silence, unsaid things mounting in the air among the weight of responsibility concerning the wayward being. Unable to take the heaviness, Tai’dqei heaved a sigh and gave a careless shrug as he said sardonically, “Sorry, I had to go and turn into a smelly aggressive man.”

At that, Ah’ke gave a gurgling growl of her own, swatting the sides of Tai’dqei’s face with both hands. He gave a yelp as mild pain throbbed through his skin. “I was joking!”

“It was not funny,” she hissed, grabbing tight to the sides of his face and pressing her forehead to his. Annoyance flooded out of him at the touch. His eyes closed, briefly allowing himself to pretend reality was different. Maybe a world where Ah’ke did find men appealing or where he agreed to hormone adjusters.

The short fantasy only lasted a moment, before Ah’ke pulled away. Her palms likely tapped the sides of his face as she teased, “Behave until I get back.”

She was already heading out the cell’s entrance when Tai’dqei opened his eyes. He watched her go, before glancing back at the human. Other than the even rise and fall of their chest, they were still.

After retrieving a blanket for the human and a chair for himself, Tai’qdei locked the cell door again. This time, with him inside the bars alongside the human. He watched them sleep as his own thoughts roiled and rolled, trying not to focus on the upsetting stillness in his own chest. Or the ever-present, aggravating, heat simmering in his center.

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bioluminosity · 9 months

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The way you draw baby Witnessians is so sweet. That little guy looks so soft and huggable.

thank u !!!! Baby Witnessians, huh...I love them a lot. I made a little cast for my AU, of which there is only one child character, but I tend to call anything short of the "final" Witness a "baby Witness".

here is a recent little guy of all time

#sketches #the witness #prj: conserva me #asks #//semantics #little guy of all time tends to get the label more often of course #i think this one is like. 19-21 but i gave it the demeanor of the characters emotional arc from childhood...#this is a complicated way to say this one should not be smiling :( but its cute #and ofc they all age different from humans...esp bc of circumstances from the au..#anyway.#thinking abt them again thank u <3

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shallowseeker · 1 year

Text

The irrationality of awakened feelings

Theory: The Empty is little bit in love with Cas.

When The Empty took on Cas's "little thoughts," it became something. It ALSO a la Amara, got a weird connection to Cas.

It...."felt everything that you feel."

And now? The Empty is tormented by its own awakened feelings, and it cannot sleep.

At some points, it knows perhaps that it may be in love with him, but it's ANGRY about that. (Whereas Amara "would never hurt Dean," all the Shadow wants to do is hurt Castiel.)

///

That's ALSO why it took on Meg's face in the end. (It's cognizant of its own emotions that it's jealous. Jealous enough that it doesn't want to try to BE Dean.)

Because, reasons.

It wants to be an Individual, and well. Meg took on the face and name of another, and The Empty resonated with that aspect.

It doesn't know what to do with It all.

It doesn't know how to be an individual or parse those emotions.

So, it covets. It rages.