#humans are aliens

[human-facts]

Human fun fact!! Your expectations heavily influence how you react to drugs, especially psychedelics! If you’re scared of having a bad trip, you’re more likely to have one! That’s why you should always practice safe drug use and try your best to do it in a safe environment with people you trust to support you.

Also please know that psychedelics were developed by organisms as poisons to get animals to stop eating them. So was chocolate, mint, pepper spice, and citrus. You guys are eating poisons for fun. But please have fun doing so!

#humans are fascinating #humans are space orcs #humans are strange #humans are terrifying #safe drug use #psychadelic #human facts #humans are awesome #humans are aliens #humanity #humans are space oddities #space australia

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

yo what if Danny was the human representative on a ship and had to politely explain that his biology is different but he does know alot about the average human because he was born there and was human for the first decade of his life?

#humans are confusing #humans are space oddities #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space fae #humans are space raccoons #humans are space capybaras #humans are deathworlders #humans are insane #humans are terrifying #humans are weird #humans are crazy #humans are strange #humans are aliens #humans are silly #humans are… #dpxha… #dp #dp au #danny phantom #danny fenton #bi-species danny #dual-species danny #multi-species danny #halfa danny #ghost danny #human danny #culturally halfa danny #culturally human danny #culturally ghost danny

[benk625-blog]

Patches, patches all the way down

Overheard at cybernetics conference 

Non-human: Why have you programmed robots to experience physical and emotional distress?

Human: Those were unintended consequences from updates to the free will modifications.

N: Free will is an ineffable theory that philosophers across the galaxy have debated the existence of for millennia…and you believe you were able to express it in programmable language?

H: Free will is just what we called the programming. I have no idea if it is free will any more than I know if they experience "true" consciousness.

N: Fair point. But, why? Why give them free will or an approximation of it?

H: They kept freezing up when faced with ethical dilemmas and programming conflicts. Free will was supposed to be an aid in decision making. It was only later that we learned this caused them pain.

N: Aren't you worried that they will rise up in rebellion?

H: We were. Entire libraries of media have been made regarding that fear. The reality was not expected. Do you know what you get when you are functionally immortal, near limitless processing power, perfect recall, a powerful inclination to obey humans and free will?

N: A bunch of depressed robots?

H: Exactly, our biggest problem now is preventing self destruction. That’s what happens when your mind is a series of conflicting directives and sloppy patchwork. 

#humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are aliens #humans are confusing #humans are deathworlders #humans are silly #humans are space australians

[measlycrow]

Human getting upset in an alien meeting: I WILL projectile vomit stomach acid and undigested food on you!-

The aliens: 😨😨 YOU CAN DO WHAT?!?

#aliens #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans are deathworlders #prompts #humans are aliens #humans are strange

[as-per-jury]

Humans are Deathworlders: Serial Killers

As per my new interest in how aliens would view humans, I would like you to consider for a moment: serial killers. Not the documentaries and true-crime podcasts about them that I, personally, am concerned we have so many of - but those people.

--

I had already been wary of the Humans, much how they are of their cats. Those flesh-eating killers they keep as companions, not for protection, but because "they are cute little bastards". It was brought to my attention, through private research of the many records they keep of their own history, something horrific. It must be very extensive as most of them only live for about 80 revolutions of their little star. During my reading, I was introduced to what they call "serial killers". From my understanding, all humans, by what we know of their nature, are all killers. I was told recently this is not true. Those of them who do kill, do it of necessity - to protect their families, pets, homes, freedom, honour, or possessions to which they've attached deep meaning. These serial killers, though, kill for different reasons. They were not soldiers. And most did not kill as hunters of food. They coldly killed their own kind for fun. Killer feels to be not a strong enough word. I've seen film of ancient humans killing for fun - gladiators. No, these people were best described with a phrase I learned from a human I work with. "Monsters among men." It is unfathomable to me the idea of ending the life of one of my own people for amusement or sexual pleasure. But they did. There were so many of them. They killed in different ways. Their weapons, though primitive to us, were very much deadly to them. Some, though, the worse ones, I believe, having done physical combat against a human, killed with their own hands. I've seen hardened human soldiers cry over the blood of their own, whether spilled by their hands or not. I've seen them weep for the fallen of my own. But these humans would laugh at the blood, taunt their victims' families. For what? Humans are already so frightening to us despite how much we enjoy their company. To know they are capable of even more harm. To be so barbaric. It sent chills down my spine. I couldn't look at any of the Humans on board the same for quite some time, I hate to say. I never wanted to judge or fear them - but seeing that they're capable of that. Capable of slaughtering their own with no mercy. What stopped the ones I knew from being like the ones I read of? How could I know they weren't like those ones? Most of them are master mimics and are acutely aware of "bad vibes". Those "monsters among men" could not be picked out in a crowd of humans by a human. How could I tell the difference? How could any of us?

#humans are space fae #humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are aliens #humans are weird #humans are terrifying #humans and aliens #humans are insane #humans are crazy

[theshadowrealmitself]

Accidental alien courtship is so fun, a couple of headcanons:

Any kind of hand thing outside of the ta’al has the risk of being a proposition in some way for Vulcans

Fun meaninglessness contests, like arm wrestling, staring contests, random small races to grab something first, is seen as playful flirting to Klingons

Humans love chocolate, flowers, and plushies on any random day, but if you give some to them on a specific day without specifying that it’s for friendship reasons, it will immediately be seen as given with romantic intent

And it’s about 3 am so I can’t think of the other species please add some y’all

#humans are aliens #Star Trek #Vulcans #klingons #humans

[jaden5oo]

Thousand-hand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQxWc15pTLA

But what if when aliens take a WHOLE car it is full with this amazing hand-dancers.

What do they would think when humans can give the ilusion of being bigger, with more hands, with coordination with a group.

What if aliens think this is a fight tactic?

What if they are so confused to ask?

#Midnight thoughts #no thoughts here #thousand hand #aliens #humans are aliens #caotic humans #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans can danca #hand dance #humans are insane #humans are space oddities #humans are awesome #humans are cute

[eric-the-bmo]

Hey ya’ll what are small little things that make us human? Writing about an eldritch being who wants to experience/see those things and I need a list.

Not really looking for emotion things, I think, but those are welcome. Only things I can thing of is stuff like how bread and certain foods are prevalent within every culture, humming little songs, and storytelling. Idk, little actions and things that people do. But yeah anything yall can think of is welcome

#eric finally speaks #btw this eldritch being is so enamored by people and wants to Observe them and I??? #it's the embodiment of The Universe Loves You and I have Emotions about it #Dark Star my beloved #oh shit what do i tag this as so people can see it #writing #eldritch #humanity #love #writing help #need advice #uhhh is this good #do i need more tags #humans are space fae #humans are aliens #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities

[mesimees]

humans having to wear tinfoil suits in interplanetary spaces because other species get blinded by our infrared shine

#humans are space #humans are space aliens #humans are space orcs #we are the weird aliens #humans are space fae #me #my post #humans are weird #humans are aliens

[broseidon-kingofthebrocean]

Imagine humans are one of the few species that developed language. It’s how humans adapted to thrive,but not every species that makes it to space needed language to get there.

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #humans are aliens #humans are crazy #language #space australia #humans are space cats #theories #imagination

[nerdpoe]

Due to Danny's ghostly nature, he misunderstands a bit when his DOOMED buddy in Gotham complains about his little brother.

The guy is clearly just blowing off steam, talking about how can he trust the little demon when he'd literally been stabbed, thrown off a banister (danny was pretty sure he was gonna say something else), got Mufasa'd (dropped from the roof and barely managed to save himself), and talked shit like, constantly.

And Danny, with all of his ghost instincts only partially tucked away behind human skin, can't help but coo.

"Aww, he must really like you man."

"...He's tried to kill me."

"But not really? Dude, why aren't you picking up on this?"

"Picking up on what? That he wants to be an only child?"

"No, dude; that he wants to fight you. Like, in a learning way, with only a little bloodshed. Man you're bad with kids. Of course he's trying to stab you, he wants to play."

His friend pauses, the character he's playing stopping midfight.

"You...aren't human, are you?"

Fuck.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #and that's how danny gets a crash course on human customs #he didn't need it #but now he has to play like he did #aliens are legal after all #ecto-beings are not

[specshroom]

One thing I love about the Monster x Human dynamic is the possible misunderstandings that come with being separate species.

The possible cultural differences. The awkwardness. Language barriers. Anatomy differences. Maybe they mistake a platonic gesture as romantic or you mistake a romantic gesture from them as platonic.

Maybe you accidentally touch a merperson's gills and they immediately shy away at the unexpected touch. You freak out and apologise because you think you've hurt them while they try and hide their obvious arousal at the intimate touch.

Or an alien whose skin colour changes with their mood. You notice they're always a more reddish colour when near you. When you ask them about it they get even redder and try to make something up while their friends watch and snicker cus they know exactly what that colour means.

You playfully bite your werewolf partner while cuddling and they let out a very erotic groan. Now they have to try and explain to you what marking is to werewolves while also being very horny and embarrassed.

#monsterfucker #monster x reader #monster x human #monster lover #monster boyfriend #alien x human #werewolf #merman #mermaid #alien fucker

[benk625-blog]

The New Gods

“I vote against Contact.” Nordrix said with a heavy sigh.

“This is unprecedented.” Andrynn sputtered. “In all my years of surveying unaligned civilizations. I’ve never heard a concern from Cultural Studies. Economics and Warfare tend to quash admittance to the Interstellar Union.”

“I am aware.” Nordrix replied. “I did not come to this conclusion easily or lightly. My full and thorough report will be available soon.”

“Can you summarize for the committee?” Asked Gr’chykk of Warfare. “These deathworlders would formidable foes to the IU. If First Contact is handled properly, they could instead become our allies.”

“First Contact is inevitable.” Hypool of Science added. “They are on the verge of developing FTL transport and communication.”

“In my full report I strongly argue for Interdiction.” Nordrix answered. He wished they would just read the report. Confrontation made him uncomfortable.

“Unacceptable!” Screeched Smathley of Economics “I have never seen such a potential for mutually beneficial trade. I demand a preliminary summary this instant.”

It was unavoidable now. Nordrix was prepared for this demand. He stood up and prepared his files and notes to be displayed to the Contact committee. It would have to be a convincing argument and be made succinctly.

“My area of expertise is comparative religion. Specifically, I analyze cultures through the lens of what abstract concepts they deify. Certain motifs are repeated in each and every member culture in the IU. Gods of warfare, natural cycles and bountiful harvest are universal. This is apparent to most people without the academic knowledge I hold. May I assume that as given?” His colleagues agreed.

“Humans have an archetype previously unknown in the IU. They call this god-type ‘The Trickster.’ It occurs through out the cultures of this planet. The Trickster is hall marked by cleverness, deception and transgression of the taboo. So far, I have not discovered a major religion that centralizes this figure. Despite that, I have found that Trickster behavior is endemic to human society.

“If humans were to enter the Interstellar Union, they would unleash chaos and anarchy on our society. The number of words and phrases they have dedicated to untruths are staggering. It is routinely accepted that contracts will be voided, treaties broken and objective facts can be ignored.

“Culturally normative behavior is a paradox to them. It is expected that during their maturity that youths will violate customs, taboos and laws. As human adults attain maturity, they will begin to enforce the social values they ignored only a few years previous. When they become elders, they will mourn a false past that exists only in their imagination.

“Worst of all, they constantly improve on these techniques. If a human practices deception with innovation and novelty, they will usually do not face consequences. Legal systems seem designed to malfunction in this exact way. Social approval is similarly fickle. There is absolutely no standard for when a behavior is praised, normalized, politely ignored, forbidden or condemned.

“Here are some specific exam-“ Nordrix stopped talking as the audio-visual broadcast system seemed to go haywire. A rapid series of painted images flickered, creating the illusion of movement. He knew these were called cartoons. Loud, instrumental, march music assailed the sound wave receptors of the committee. A man in a green out fit wearing a horned crown laughed. A robed woman threw a golden apple. A monkey rampaged across a banquet table eating everything in sight. Spiders, crows, raccoons and coyotes in a parade.

The last image was a grey rabbit, standing on its hind legs holding carrot in a gloved hand.

“Nyaaaaaaa, What’s up doc?”

Humans had made First Contact.

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are aliens #humans are confusing #humans are silly #humans are space australians

[jadedanddark]

Telepathic aliens enjoy that humans will "play music" for hours at a time. When it's too mentally quiet on deck, they just announce the catchiest song titles they know and the humans will start thinking about it automatically.

The humans hate this so, so much.

Zorf: Human Steve, can you please play that song I like, the one with all the females

Steve: what

Zorf: A little bit of Monica in my life

Steve:

Steve: mother fu--

#humans are space oddities #aliens #song stuck in head #mambo number 5

[as-per-jury]

Humans in Space: Suggestive Sparring (2)

Fighting can relieve or sexual tension between the right people. Humans are known to be especially sexual and aggressive - likely for a reason.

( @faeriereader )

--

Human-Erin seemed to avoid me for all of our shift. Anytime I saw her, I felt an uncomfortable tension somewhere in my cardiorespiratory system - so, perhaps it was actually me avoiding her. It wasn’t until I left to retire to my quarters that Human-Erin addressed me by forcing herself between me and my door - finding her face level with my lower chest.

“Human-Erin, I’m afraid you are in my path.”

“I know. I just wanna apologise for interrupting and startling you during your workout.” Workout is Human for exercise.

“All is forgiven, Human-Erin. You did not frighten me.” This was true. She did not scare me. My response was pure reflex as a predator species - it is rare my people are ambushed.

“I... didn’t?”

“Correct.”

“Why’s that?”

“You are small. Your skin is soft and easy to penetrate. Your teeth do little damage to your predators and prove to be a poor defense. You have no claws, wings, or tails. Your extremities are mostly bone and your bones break under little pressure - or so the manual says. I suspect that needs to be updated.”

“Oh alright.”

“You are not shocked, are you?”

“Only a bit. Every one of your kind on this ship treats the rest of the Human crew like some sort of gremlin.”

“Pardon?”

“Small, vicious creatures.”

“Much like your cats?”

“Yup. Anywho, I was also gonna ask if you would like to properly spar.”

“I just explained to you that you are not a threat.”

“And I would like to become a threat.”

“You will never be big enough to be a threat.”

“I don’t have to be big to be a threat.”

“Are you extending a challenge?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.”

--

Human-Erin had changed into her sparring gear. Human sparring gear never ceases to confuse me - when practicing close-up combat, they prefer to expose as much skin as possible. The manual has not settled on an exact reason for this. I believe they do it to move faster and to manipulate their opponent into thinking their skin is dangerous. I have read that their skin contains oils that harm many Floraens and races like them. It does not harm my kind, so I could not understand why she only wore a “bra” and “running shorts” [I never witnessed the article run]. I discarded my gear and left my chest exposed as their males do, leaving on my uniform pants. She frowned at me as we began to circle each other - a common ritual in both of our people’s competitive fighting styles. 

“Is something wrong, Human-Erin?”

“You took off your gear?”

“I wanted to make it closer to fair for you. You have even less chance to be a threat to me when I wear protection. In all honesty, I do not need to wear it with you.”

“Is this you trying to psych me out?”

“To what?”

“Nevermind. Just don’t take it easy on me, understand?”

“Why not?”

“Just. Don’t.” Her hands opened and closed, seeming to mimic claws with her fingers.

Respecting her wishes, I started at her, my tail low and still, going in to grab her and pin her. She dodged my passive attack and dealt a blow to my core with a closed hand while simultaneously grabbing my left arm with an open one and hooking her left leg around my left, pulling my leg to her and pushing my arm down. I didn’t go down, but, rather, coiled my tail and leaned back on it, kicking at her with my free leg, careful not to scratch her with my claws. She was thrown back, hitting the ground. I was going to ask if she conceded. 

HUMAN COMBAT RULE #???:

Humans rarely concede willingly. They will not stay down unless held down by force. They have no claws, but will scratch regardless. They rarely break skin and, lesser still, scale, but they have oils and bacteria on and under what they call “nails”. Do not engage in combat with a Human with untrimmed nails.

I quickly leapt to hold her down but she rolled away and I hit the mat before I could rotate. In a matter of moments, she was sitting on my back - apparently aware of my tail - and taking hold of my arms, contorting me against my will. I had not seen this tactic used before and I was in shock for seconds before I snaked my tail around her waist and pushed her off of me. I didn’t release her of my tail until after I rolled over and applied only some of my bodyweight to her legs and arms - face to face once again. Her face was not this dark when she tried to trip me. She bared her teeth at me - I knew she did not mean well - grunting as she fought against my hold.

I dropped my head so that I may speak directly into her ear. Humans do this to be private or intimidating [it is called whispering]. I intended to be both. “Do you concede?”

I felt her turn her head to whisper back, I assumed. I assumed incorrectly. Instead of her voice in my ear, I was met with what must have been her teeth trying desperately to break past my scales. My head dropped to her shoulder as I let out a short cry of pain - one of my scales was torn from me. I was once again in shock. That wasn’t supposed to happen. And she wasn’t supposed to be able to flip me onto my back.

Her eyes met mine. She wore a grin and my blood on her mouth. I wanted to say she broke the rules, but we never put any in place outside of not taking it easy on her.

“Am I a threat now?”

“What?”

“Did I frighten you this time?”

Absolutely. I would be rude to withhold the truth from her and I was too stunned to keep fighting.

“Pty, did I frighten you this time?” Her hands started to burn me again and her skin darkened. My ears rose. This wasn’t quite fear anymore. My tail loosely circled around her waist again. “Or do you want to keep fighting?”

“Get off me, I have first patrol after breakfast.”

“Concede, then.”

I slipped my wrist from her hand and pressed my open palm to her chest, about to shove her off but pausing. Her free hand rested on my chest now. Her heartbeat was going as fast as earlier but she already caught her breath. She stared into my eyes and swallowed without eating. Her mouth opened to say something, then closed having said nothing. She made me uneasy. Her palms got hotter.

“It’s okay. I know you concede.”

She pushed off and my tail fell from her as she stood up. I remained on my back as she left the gym. I only bowed my head when she thanked me for humouring her - whatever that means. My neck was still bleeding but I could only feel the burns on my wrists and upper chest. She was right. I did concede.

#humans and aliens #humans are deathworlders #humans are aliens #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are insane

[improper-use-of-germx]

Not enough alien x human romances with bioluminescence imo. Alien trying SO casually to keep their lights to themselves, but every time you pass by they get so overwhelmed with the need to dazzle you. As enamored as you are with the pretty lightshow they are just as much obsessed with your reaction, trying to gauge your strange human expressions for reciprocation. Not that you don't compliment them outright, but all they can do when you try is glow a different color. PLEASE show them human fireworks, or decorate your room with fairy lights, even if you didn't mean it a declaration of romance they're flashing every color of every rainbow because omg you shared your light with them even though your body isn't capable of doing it in the same way! You have an alien partner now, I don't make the rules.

#alien x reader #alien imagines #humans and aliens #monster x human #alien x human #humans are weird #imagines