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#humor

Let me just point you to my #humor tag.  But for an intersection of those that I’ve labelled with both humor and favorite, we get these 16 (again, over on AO3 because it lists 3 that I haven’t posted yet).  Ahaha, three out of the most recent four were written by @moominmammamia.  I’m predictable.  …and so is she, evidently ;)

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jen27nyAnswer

Peter stares at the little device in his hand, scrolling through the music titles, unable to choose one to play, when someone approaches him. “Mr. Star-Lord?” He looks up and sees the kid who is also named Peter standing before him.

“Hey,” he greets him with a big smile, patting the bench next to him. The kid follows the invitation. “Wanna look at the best space ship in the galaxy?” Peter nods towards the Benatar. Even though Peter is from Earth, he has to say he’s quite disappointed by it. Sure, the landscape is pretty, and he finds other people who also love Footloose, but compared with all the other planets he has seen, Earth is boring. The only reason they’re here is because Nebula said she needed to talk to someone who has a brain (aka that Jim Rhodes dude) and Rocket wanted to rub it into Stark’s face that he’s smarter than him (Stark always response by pulling out a razor from somewhere and just turns it on – usually, it’s enough of a threat to make Rocket shut up for a few minutes).

Peter hasn’t spent that much time with the other Peter, but the kid is nice. At least he’s reacting to Peter’s jokes and movie references, even though he doesn’t seem to understand half of them.

“Didn’t Rocket himself said that ship is a piece of shit?”

“Pfft, don’t ask him. He calls everything a piece of shit.”

Peter chuckles, before nodding towards the music device. “That’s an old iPod.”

“This thing is amazing!” he says, holding the iPod into the air. “I can save so many songs on this thing! It’s insane!”

“I shouldn’t tell you about spotify, then.”

“Spoti-what?”

“Nothing,” he says, waving his hand dismissively. “Mr. Star-Lord, I actually wanted to talk to you about our names.”

“What about them?”

“Well, we have the same one.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“And I think it’s a bit confusing when everyone keeps calling both of us Peter.”

The kid has a point, it is annoying. “You could start by not calling me Mr. Star-Lord. How about we just call you kid?” It’s not that farfetched. Stark calls Peter (spider-Peter, not space-Peter) kid all the time, as well as several other nicknames.

He scrunches up his face. “I get the feeling that everyone will keep calling me kid even though I’m already really old, like, 35 or something.”

Peter chooses not to say how old he is and pretends to not be hurt by the kid’s words. “Okay, point taken.” But he does have a feeling that Stark will never stop calling spider-Peter kid. Wait a minute. Stark. “Why don’t we take the old-fashioned route and just use our last names, then?”

The kid beams. “Alright! Then you can call me Parker.”

“Amazing. I’m Quill.”

Parker continues to beam until he suddenly stops, blinking rapidly. “Quill?”

“Yeah, you want me to spell it? Q-U-I-“

“As in… Peter Quill.”

“Yeah. Exactly like that. Because that’s literally my name.”

Parker’s eyes go wide and he looks like he just solved an especially difficult riddle. “You’re Peter Quill!”

“Dude, did you hit your head or something? Or is this a weird Earth custom I didn’t know about?”

“They made an episode about you! About how you disappeared!”

Peter blinks in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Let me show you.” And before Peter can even process what just happened, Parker already jumped up, grabbed his arm and almost pulls him through the air, racing towards the living room area of the compound. “There’s this show on the internet,” the kid explains as he drops Peter on the couch in favor of getting the controls for the TV, pressing the buttons without any patience at all, “called Buzzfeed Unsolved and they talk about unsolved crime cases.”

“And they made an episode about me?”

“Yeah, about the boy named Peter Quill who suddenly disappeared when he was eight years old, just after his mother died.”

That does sound a lot like him, and Peter can’t help but grow excited as Parker keeps hitting buttons on the remote, selecting something that’s called YouTube and starts searching his name.

“What are you two up to?” Stark asks, slandering closer to them, a steaming mug of coffee in his good hand, and a razor peeking out from the back pocket of his jeans.

Peter gets no chance to answer. Parker whirls around, basically jumping up and down with all the energy in him. “That’s Peter Quill!”

“And what’s so excited about that?”

“Wow,” Peter deadpans, “do you want me to tell Rocket you couldn’t fix that one part of my space guns the other month?”

Stark grimaces. “I did fix it. It just… took me a few tries.”

“And a hole in your lab wall.”

“That’s nothing new, that happens all the time.”

“Shane and Ryan made an episode about Peter!” Parker says, getting them back on track and seemingly fed up with them arguing.

Somehow, Stark seems to know exactly what the kid is talking about, the look of confusion (and annoyance) melting away to make room for a soft smile. “Ah, now I understand. Well, have fun. And let me know if you want me to make an ominous tweet about that episode.”

Peter gets more and more confused each second, while Parker gets more and more excited. However, before he can demand any answers, the kid already pressed play and on the TV screen flickers a single light bulb.

“On this episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, we’re talking about the mysterious disappearance of Peter Quill.”

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