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#humor
beyoncescock · 2 days ago
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cat-cosplay · 2 days ago
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Maybe tomorrow we can play D&D?
Or something fun, like we used to?
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badjokesbyjeff · a day ago
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A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.
“What are you reading, old man?” he asks.
“I’m learning Hebrew, comrade,” replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, “What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.”
“I’m learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham,” replies the old man.
“How do you know you’re going to heaven? What if you go to hell?” asks the KGB agent.
“I already speak Russian."
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machetelanding · 2 days ago
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shitpostinguniverse · 2 days ago
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scoobydoomistakes · a day ago
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If there's one thing ‘60s Spider-Man taught me...
…and now Super Friends has worked hard to reinforce…
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...is that all across the US, in every major city...
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...we just love our seven-lane, undivided downtown highways.
That said, they found a very-American answer to car-dependant infrastructure: compensating with a sidewalk the width of a house across.
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bittertaurus · 2 days ago
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she was so real for this
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catgirl-kaiju · 2 days ago
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Hm, yes, I think that I shall begin firing lasers at you
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retrogamingblog2 · 54 minutes ago
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Celeste was not amused
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mischiefinyoureyes · 21 days ago
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beyoncescock · 2 days ago
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daily-cats · 2 months ago
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10 Hilarious Cat Snapchats That Are Im-paw-sible Not To Laugh At
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badjokesbyjeff · a day ago
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The voodoo dildo
A woman went to town for shopping and she found this newagey shop. Curious she went in and looked around when she saw this huge dildo sitting in a corner behind some stuff. She asked the shopowner about it and he told her it's a magical voodoo dildo. Whatever you say, the dildo will magically levitate and do as instructed, just say "voodoo dildo" and tell where you want it to go.
She believed him and bought it. On the way back in the car, she couldnt wait to try it out and decided to test it so she said "voodoo dildo, shag my pussy!". Sure enough the didlo levitated from the back seat, went in and pleasured her intensely!
However she started to wiggle a bit with her car on the road while the action was happening and a nearby cop noticed and pulled her over.
As he inquired if she was under the influence of drugs or alcohol she replied it was because of this voodoo dildo.
The officer laughed at her story and exclaimed loudly, "Voodoo dildo?? My ass!".
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scoobydoomistakes · a day ago
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Superman... trapped in a rearview mirror.
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Possibly the most “didn’t know I needed this” thing I’ve ever not known I needed.
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catgirl-kaiju · a month ago
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What if we logged into tumblr one day, and some of us just had blue verification checkmarks next to our urls but nobody knew why and staff was completely silent on the subject
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retrogamingblog2 · a month ago
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beyoncescock · 2 days ago
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daily-cats · 2 months ago
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“My Cat, Not My Home” And “My Home, Not My Cat” Tweets About Cats That Do What They Want
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