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#hurting people to get their own way to be bad
bizbat · 1 day
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can you PLEASE write jason coming to you instead of anyone else. like i need that sooo bad please :)))
p.s i love your writing soo much. youre so talented, i am constantly giggling as i read
Always You . . .
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~ You can find more of my works here.
~ This took forever omg, but yesterday I got food poisoning so I finally got some time to write this. Not my proudest work but wtv.
Above all else, he'll always come to you.
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Contrary to popular belief, Jason Todd can be gentle. You've seen it, in the way he slowly flips through whatever book he's reading so you can read it over his shoulder, or how his fingers softly caress your thigh when you're seated beside him as if you're made of glass, or in the warm way he smiles whenever Damian says something the reminds him he's a child.
He's gentle now too, his head resting in your lap, his shirt torn and soaked in what's now dried blood. You can barely keep your eyes open, but you promised you'd watch over him while he slept, just in case something went wrong and he choked on his own blood or vomit.
You had that same nausea when he first came to your apartment at five in the morning, the bile rising in your throat at the smell of metal and the sight of blood gushing out of his gaping-
Just remembering is enough to keep you awake.
It . . . hurts, for many reasons, knowing that he puts his own life in danger for people he doesn't even know. You don't know why he does it, all you know is that for the next week and a half, he'll take a break to let his stitches heal at least a little bit. It's never enough, though. He'll crawl back to you in a few weeks, a sheepish smile on his face and his stitches popped open.
You'll roll your eyes but you always fix them for him. It's become a routine. Not one you're exactly fond of, but a routine nonetheless. It gives you something to look forward to. Sometimes it doesn't feel fair. The fact that he's always on the brink of death when you see him, that he's always covered in scars and wounds and gashes, and above all that, the fact that he only seems to come to you to sew a bullet hole shut or wrap a broken arm.
It does get exhausting, but who are you to complain. At least he trusts you, that's what you tell yourself. He comes to you because you're the only person he lets get that close to him these days, because you're the only person who won't chew his ear off. All things you've told yourself. He comes to you because maybe, possibly, potentially, somewhere deep deep inside, he loves you. That's your favorite excuse.
"You're really pretty, have I ever told you that?" You're so deep in thought you don't even realize those deep cerulean blue eyes are now studying your contemplative expression. When you calm your beating heart you turn your gaze back to his. "I thought you were sleeping?" "I was," He wraps his arm back around your waist, holding himself closer to you. "But you were tuggin' on my hair."
You hadn't even realized you'd been running your fingers through his hair until he pointed it out, though at some point in your thoughts it seems your hands had begun twisting around the raven locs. Upon said realization you immediately pull your hand away, only for him to reach out and pull it right back. "I didn't mind it that much doll." His smirk is enough to clear your mind.
He slowly rises from his position, moving to sit beside you, resting most of his weight on your shoulder with a groan. His hand reaches to his side, where a particularly nasty gash resided, thankfully sewn shut by you. Once the pain subsides he moves his hand to check your handy work. "Not bad, not bad at all." He turns that stupid smile back to you and it fries your brain. "Getting better and better every time."
It does make you smile. You weren't always so good at fixing him up. He'd come in almost every night needing you to patch him back up. It took awhile for you to be able to get him back in shape so fast. "Jay," A long while, actually. "I . . . I've been wondering?" You slowly proposition him. "Yeah? About what?" He is genuinely curious, and he knows that look on your face. He sits up, taking his weight off of you and resting against the arm of the couch.
"Just-nevermind, actually. It's stupid." You hold your hands in your lap. "It's not." He hates when you do that. When you shut yourself down before he even gets a chance to answer. "Ask me, I won't be mad." He leans in closer, his hand on your knee, and he strokes it how he always does. It takes a second to gain back your confidence. "Why-why do you always come to me when you're hurt? I just mean wouldn't it be better to go to Bruce, or Alfred, or I don't know, a doctor?"
The only thing worse than his smile is his laugh. Like an icy breeze on a hot summer's day, or a dark cold wave crashing down on a yellow beach. It warms your heart and makes you feel stupid for asking in the first place, all at the same time. "Why would I go to any of them? I like you." He likes you!!! You were right!!! "Because I'm not a professional. I can barely give you stitches, I don't know what I'd do if you were-if you," The quiver in your voice breaks his heart.
He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. "You don't need to worry about that. It's never gonna happen," He grabs your chin between his forefinger and his thumb and brings your gaze to his. "You take care of me, too much for me to be risky about that." You think you believe him, especially when he presses a kiss to your lips. Though you've tasted it a thousand times, you still wince at the taste of blood still clinging to his chapped lips.
He laughs when you grimace. "Sorry," He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He's quiet for a bit after that, silent as he holds you. Before too long he speaks again, breaking the, admittedly, uncomfortable silence. "I . . . I dunno why I always come to you. I guess I just . . . like it here. I like you." He's not looking at you when he says it, but you know he's being honest, and knowing him, he's understating.
It's enough for you, at least until next time. You relax into his body, satisfied. "I like you too Jaybird. I like you a lot."
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yippee! apologies if my takes are horrendously bad
my personal take on the matter is that i definitely think the dark worlds can work as a metaphor for escapism without undermining the darkners' personhood. it can be more than one thing, yknow? the darkners are important, their lives matter. and the lightners do go to the dark world as an escape from the problems they face in their own life. but that's not the darkners' whole PURPOSE, yknow? i mean. according to the laws of the universe of deltarune yes darkners' "purpose" is to serve the lightners but like it's not their whole purpose in the STORY.
it's sort of like how, in UNDERTALE, LOVE represents how distant you've become, how easy it is for you to hurt people. but it also literally gives you the power to destroy the world.
i think the biggest reason i believe escapism is at least a part of deltarune's narrative is queen.
queen's whole speech in both of her fights is about how she intends to provide escapism for the lightners (so that they will worship her but also so that they will he happy). she wants to turn the whole world into a dark world, so that everyone can live in bliss and not have to worry about the woes of the light world. she mentions "Staring, Tapping, To Receive Joy. Staring, Tapping, To Avoid Pain." which is like pretty much the definition of escapism
she wants to help Noelle with the problems she faces in the light world ("Noelle. Who Will Be There To Help Her? Her Strange And Sad Searches" and "My One Idea To Help Noelle, Failed") by just... shoving it away for a blissful fantasy world ("Wake? No, She Has Already Awakened Too Much. Let Her Close Her Eyes And Sleep Away, Into A Darker, Darker Dream.")
...i forgot the rest of what i wanted to say!
well first off, thank you for your ask! I'm going to get extremely in depth in my answer, so bear with me here. sorry it took several weeks to write this. the escapism reading of deltarune is pretty deeply entrenched in fandom, and to refute it, I felt it required a full-length essay to completely explain my viewpoint.
yes, "the lightners desire escapism" does not automatically translate to that being the darkners' actual narrative purpose. escapism can be a theme without dehumanizing those who are used in order to escape - in fact, I've read a number of stories that use someone's desire to escape to HIGHLIGHT how they're hurting others in pursuit of that. I believe that toby fox is definitely capable of telling a story about kids having a valid desire to escape, and about them grappling with having inadvertently created a world of real, living people as a result.
(I'll reiterate again that this is not the story arc that most people who espouse that escapism is a theme believe will happen. most people seem to believe that the game will end in an omori-esque "growing out of" the dark worlds. it's why I have a huge dislike of the fanon escapism reading, given that the darkners are shown as people whose lack of agency parallels kris' own. it would feel cheap if the resolution to that plot was that the darkners were actually never meant to be agents in their own fates. but this is a digression.)
the reason why i DON'T believe that this is a story that toby fox is telling is because of the way the world, themes, and characters are written. put simply, it just doesn't come across as congruent with the story being told.
deltarune's main themes are agency, fate, identity, and control. this is a conflict that shows up in nearly every major character, is baked into the worldbuilding, and is the central struggle involving us, the player. the protagonist of deltarune is literally possessed by us against their will. the darkners are objects that have no choice but to serve and be discarded. over and over again, there is emphasis on roles that characters play - and crucially, roles that are imposed on them.
what would escapism mean, in this thematic context? in real life, escapism can represent any number of things, but in a story, a major narrative theme generally has to dovetail with other major narrative themes in the work. I would argue that escapism in deltarune would likely mean going to a place where characters are able to choose for themselves what roles they embody, or even to discard the notion of roles altogether. a fantasy of control is the only way to escape a reality where you have no agency. and honestly, it's hard to imagine that something could count as an escapist fantasy if you don't even get to choose whether or not you participate in it.
let's talk about kris.
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I see a lot of discussions around kris that say that kris goes into the dark worlds to escape. the dark worlds are posited as kris' fantasy of heroism. it's a world where they can seem heroic and cool, a world where they can have friends. what i find interesting about these discussions is that they seem to ignore the extremely basic fact that kris is being controlled in order to go into the dark worlds. and it is not a control that they appear to welcome.
if those worlds represent kris' fantasy, then why don't they get to choose what happens in those fantasies? why are they being controlled by an external force, one that they actively push back against? if it's really an escape, then why does everything about this world reflect their lack of agency? if they really think this world is just a pure fantasy, then why do they care if spamton falls when his strings are cut?
because they're being deliberately obscured to the player, it is hard to say how kris actually feels about many subjects... but I do seriously doubt that they view the dark worlds as an escape. they don't act in a way that is consistent with that. they resist their lack of agency, and what little we do see of their reactions to darkner characters doesn't suggest that they view those characters as part of a disposable fantasy, either. they seem to have complicated feelings on ralsei. and of course, one of their biggest emotional reactions in the game is to the spamton fight. I would argue that that suggests they have empathy for spamton, which is a hard emotional reaction to have if you believe he's just part of a fantasy. not impossible, mind you, but it seems unlikely that kris believes that all this is simply fantasy.
also, considering that snowgrave both actively discredits the idea that the dark worlds are mere fantasy and is actively traumatic for kris... I seriously doubt they'd open another dark world in chapter 3 on a snowgrave run if their motive was purely to escape. on that route, they've seen the damage we can cause in a dark world. they know that berdly has sustained lasting damage due to our actions, assuming he's not outright dead. why would they want to try and "escape" to a place like that again now that they know what can happen?
the only answer is that they have a motive that isn't escapist.
now, as for ralsei... what part does he have to play in all this?
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ralsei does play a lot to the fun, fantastical elements of the dark worlds. he delivers the prophecy that kickstarts the adventure. he flatters both kris and susie endlessly when they act appropriately heroic. he welcomes them into the castle and even makes nice rooms for them. he initially seems tailor-made to enable a fantastical experience where no real issues can ever complicate anything, and where the pain of reality can successfully be hidden from. but there's a lot of complications to the idea that he might represent an escapist fantasy.
the first, and what honestly seems the most important to me, is that he doesn't encourage kris and susie to remain in the dark worlds. he is welcoming and kind, but once the adventure is over, he prompts them to return to the light world. he wants them to deal with their more "real" problems like homework. that doesn't feel like he is trying to facilitate escapism in them. a real fantasy would encourage you to stay in it, wouldn't it?
and while ralsei is definitely invested in making sure the lightners are happy, there are always cracks that show. he isn't able to make kris ignore what happened in the spamton fight. he isn't able to convince susie to be peaceful and kind. and in his very essence, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas. very importantly, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas to kris.
this probably ain't your first fandom rodeo, so I'm not going to explain all the different ways that ralsei interacts with kris' personal issues. there's plenty of posts on it out there. what i will point out is, once again, it feels odd that a character who seems tailor made to bring up kris' most uncomfortable associations with their lack of agency and their outsider status in their own family would be part of a fantasy of escapism to them. you'd think that they'd prefer something that didn't have an inbuilt hierarchy, a prophecy that denied them autonomy, or especially a person that reminded them how little they fit into hometown.
that doesn't mean kris doesn't care about him at all - it seems very likely that they do. what I mean to say here is that he just seems ill-suited to an escapism reading, both behaviorally and on a conceptual level. it doesn't seem like that's at all part of his servitude towards the lightners.
of course, there is another non-lightner entity that ralsei seems diegetically engineered to serve. but I'll discuss that later.
now as for susie...
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yes, susie definitely views the dark worlds as more fun than the light world. and why wouldn't she? the light world sucks for her, and she doesn't seem very aware of the fact that the dark world can also suck. you could definitely make the argument that she views the dark worlds as a fantastical escape from reality... were it not for the fact that she treats her darkner friends with just as much importance as she does kris and noelle.
can someone treat components of an escapist fantasy as real and important? of course. but given deltarune's themes of agency and control, as well as the fact that darkners exist in servitude to the lightners, I feel like you'd have to make escapism tie into forcing others into a lack of agency if you wanted the theme to feel coherent with the rest of the work. this would require susie to be limiting the agency of the darkners around her. and obviously, she doesn't do that. her presence around them might be inherently limiting, just by simple virtue of being a lightner, but she isn't aware of it, and clearly is uncomfortable with the idea of limiting anyone's agency. she encourages ralsei to make choices. and she supports lancer in basically anything he wants to do. her treatment of lancer is integral to chapter 1's narrative, and it seems like that treatment of ralsei is integral to the ongoing narrative as well!
her preference for the dark world feels very rooted in her engagement with it as its own reality. rather than trying to avoid her real-life problems by engaging in a pretense, she seems to simply want to spend time with her friends in a place that isn't cruel to her. she isn't ignoring any of the dark world's problems in service of that, either. she notices when things don't line up. if she thought of it as a fantasy, wouldn't she be inclined to ignore issues that impede the fantasy?
and critically - like kris, she does not intentionally choose her imposed role in the prophecy at first. she steps into the role of bad guy to resist it, but that role is limiting too, and she eventually acquiesces to being a hero. it's never something she's completely on board with, though. she actively pushes back the limitations that the role places on her. I find this important to reiterate when we are discussing the notion of the characters viewing the dark worlds as fantasy.
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noelle has a complicated relationship to the dark worlds. susie tells her that it's a dream to make her accept the strange reality she finds herself in, which works well on her. she continues to think of it as a strange dream throughout the chapter. (though, like the others, it is not a 'dream' she entered of her own volition!)
it is also a markedly unpleasant 'dream' at times. she has her agency restricted, is kidnapped, has to evade a controlling monarch, and is even tied up in a weird evangelion cross thing on the hand of a giant robot. it's not purely fun. noelle does like scary things, and while it might be healthy for her to have an experience where she stands up to a controlling adult figure... again, the circumstances make it difficult for me to assume that this is a fantasy she would choose for herself. not impossible, mind you, but it's not the first reading of the situation that comes to mind.
and while she does say she wishes she could dream like this every day in the normal route, that does happen specifically because she was talking to the girl she likes. it makes sense she'd find that pleasant. I don't think that necessarily equates to her finding the dark worlds escapist.
and importantly, this isn't the sentiment that she expresses in every route.
again, there's a lot of analysis on snowgrave, so I won't bother regurgitating it much here. but it's nightmarish for both kris and noelle, and very likely fatal for berdly. noelle needs to believe that the event is a dream, for her own psychological safety, but one of the most important parts of snowgrave...
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...is that its events, and the world it took place in, are very, very real.
noelle wants to have the strength to face her problems, both in the regular route and in the snowgrave route. rather than escaping from them, she views the "dream" as a chance to practice dealing with her day-to-day issues. it's just that in the regular route she finds that strength authentically, and in the snowgrave route, that desire is manipulated and pushed until she is forced to kill berdly. she doesn't interpret snowgrave as an escape gone wrong. she views it as a dream that became a nightmare. and those are two extremely different things.
but i haven't even gotten to the biggest thing that undermines the concept that the dark worlds are a metaphor for escapism! which is: this fucking guy is dead wrong about everything.
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so full disclaimer - I really love berdly. I think he's slept on a lot in the fandom because he's annoying and weird. which is fair, I suppose, but I think ignoring him hinders a lot of people's understanding of deltarune's overall narrative. because berdly often illustrates a lot of concepts in the game, but his narrative framing as a joke (usually...) prevents the player from taking it completely seriously. he has things to say and ideas to show off, it's just that he's often very loud and kind of dumb in his expression of them. which is kind of the point!
ralsei brings up the idea that the darkners are meant to serve the lightners very seriously in chapter one. by extension, and by way of the literal mechanics involved in a dark world's creation, we can infer that this logic is probably something that also applies to the dark worlds themselves. they are allegedly worlds and characters that only are supposed to fulfill a dream of the lightners. but due to narrative framing and deltarune's themes, we know that that's not the full truth. however dark worlds and darkners are created, they deserve to have their own agency. they can't just exist to fulfill a higher being's wishes.
you know who else undermines that view of the dark worlds? berdly! berdly does!!!!
because berdly is the only lightner in the game so far who does take the dark worlds to be an escapist adventure! he wants to turn cyber world into smartopia. he views this as a chance to be a cool hero. he believes he's going to get the girl, he's going to shape this world to his own liking, and maybe also he's going to get queen to acknowledge him or something so he stops being a forgettable little bluebird. and not only does none of this happen, his steadfast belief that it will happen is continually a joke within the narrative!!
berdly's wishes for uncomplicated escapist fantasy are flat-out denied by the dark worlds themselves. as a lightner, those worlds should be serving him. he should have the power to do whatever he wants within the bounds of an escapist fantasy. these npcs should be singing his praises!
but he doesn't have the power. and this world doesn't sing his praise. because it just isn't an escapist fantasy. he isn't right to view it that way. his wishes for heroism are always going to be thwarted.
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so now that I've gotten all that out of the way, let's swing back over to the subject of your original ask. queen.
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because, like berdly, queen's entire character arc is about how she's completely wrong about what the lightners actually want.
queen would in fact like nothing more to place the lightners into an escapist fantasy. she believes that that's the best way to serve them and make them happy forever. as a darkner, queen has very much internalized the idea that a lack of control is what actually makes people happy. since darkners have no choice in their destinies and are supposed to be happy in it, and since she personally finds her role as a darkner fulfilling, she believes that that's true of all people everywhere. if you want to make people happy, you just have to remove that pesky personal agency!
so she spends the story trying to force the lightners and particularly noelle into situations where she controls them in order to make them ostensibly happier. she does genuinely believe that this is the right thing to do, but as she finds out eventually, she's just wrong. noelle doesn't want that. queen believes that escapism is why the lightners use the internet... but that's totally wrong too.
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while there are other searches mixed in, noelle is trying to use the internet to find her sister. instead of trying to hide from whatever happened, noelle wants to figure it out. queen's thesis about noelle and the lightners is proven wrong even before she personally encounters noelle in the dark world. it's just that queen doesn't realize it due to her limited perspective.
the concept of escapism being brought up with both queen and berdly is not there to say that the dark world is escapist. rather, it's there to say that it isn't. despite the dark worlds being a fantastical place, they are extremely real. to view them as a means of escape is foolhardy at best. you cannot act as though you are above consequences within them.
themes and ideas exist within the story for a sake of an audience. so let's get into the final character I need to discuss here. hopefully this will tie my thesis of deltarune together neatly.
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that character is of course us. the player.
when creating a piece of fiction, an astute author will often identify and anticipate an audience's reactions to certain things in their work, and write things in such a way that they elicit the desired reactions. in essence, a writer is directing the "character" of the audience. how we feel and how we are anticipated to react to things is an integral part of nearly every fiction.
that effect is far more overt when dealing with metanarrative fiction that diegetically involves the audience. since the fiction is saying a lot of things about the general 'you,' the audience in aggregate, your reactions to certain things in the story have to be finely cued and anticipated by the author, so that the author can thus commentate on the reactions that you have to the story. the "character" you are assumed to inhabit is posited by the author to have certain traits.
to explain what I mean in plainer terms, I'll use the player of undertale's no mercy route as an example. because undertale is commenting on the way rpgs generally work. the player's behaviors in no mercy are attributed by characters in the story to be the result of us acting like a typical gamer. we kill the characters in the game because we want exp. and more than that, it's because we want to see everything the game has to offer. the role we inhabit in this role-playing game is that of a completionist. you could say that that's assumed to be our "character" in no mercy.
deltarune also posits that certain things are true of its audience. by being written to evoke certain cultural ideas, rpg tropes, and references to undertale, it guarantees that its audience will probably have certain traits, and spends a large amount of its conceptual focus commenting on those traits. one of those traits is nostalgia, which is probably an idea that I'll expound upon in a further essay because it's quite integral to my reading of deltarune. but the main one I mean to discuss here, and why I went off on this tangent about how audiences are dealt with in metafiction, is that we are posited as someone who believes in the logic of certain narratives.
deltarune's writing evokes a lot of portal fantasy narratives. alice in wonderland, narnia, pretty much every story where it's revealed at the end to be all a dream... the story of deltarune superficially resembles a lot of those. this, I think, is responsible for the popularity of the escapism theory. because those stories are often at their end about a child learning to put away fantasy and grow up, people tend to believe that deltarune must be about the same thing. but I truly don't think that deltarune is trying to do anything with that aspect of portal fantasy narratives, at least not directly. its main characters aren't involved in that exact type of coming-of-age arc.
instead, deltarune is very concerned with what happens to characters in fantasy, and specifically fantasy rpgs. if your world is deemed to not matter because it's a dream, what does that mean for you, who has no choice but to live in it? if you are an npc whose role has been predetermined for you via script, then can you ever decide for yourself what you want? what if you want to matter? what if you want to be your own person?
as the major controlling force of deltarune, we are initially cued to believe that deltarune is like a dream. it superficially fulfills so much of what we want from undertale fanon. hometown seems like it's a perfect idyllic town, at least until you start noticing the obvious cracks. and remember what I said about ralsei earlier? he is so reminiscent of asriel, and extremely eager to help us. it's not a stretch to say that making us specifically view deltarune as dreamlike and idyllic is probably part of his purpose in the game.
I would not say that we are posited as escapist. but the idea of escapism as brought up with queen and berdly is meant to strike at the heart of a much deeper idea that deltarune is trying to deconstruct. because if we view deltarune as a dream, escapist or otherwise, then we are inclined to write the internal realities of the characters inside off. the dark world can disappear without it mattering. we can control kris without it mattering. if it's all a dream, what does it matter? why should we care to let its characters go free? aren't we supposed to be in control?
if deltarune is an rpg... what is the significance of us interacting with it?
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bbina · 2 days
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you stood impatiently outside eunseok's door, waiting for him to open it after knocking for the seventh time tonight. your frustration grows the more you were met with eunseok's silence. you desperately needed to see wonbin right now and eunseok, despite being one of your last resort, was not helping
"eunseok please" you bang your fist against the door, tears beginning to well up on your eyes. as the clock clicks, the more you feel wonbin was slipping away from you.
he hasn't responded to all your texts and calls since you got home from the confrontation and you're not too sure how long you can last like this. you want to fix everything, you want to talk things out with wonbin, you just want wonbin right now
eunseok's damned door finally swings open. "how many times do i have to say it? i already said no" eunseok deadpans, having enough of your constant knocking and banging on his door. his eyes widened at the sight of your current state
your hair messy, tear stained cheeks, eyes and lips swollen from all the crying you did just hours prior
"you look like a mess.." eunseok comments, observing your current state as he ushers you inside his room, sitting you on his bed as you start to cry in front of your older brother.
"i fucked up, seok" you wail, "i fucked up bad"
eunseok watches you intently as you cry in front of him. trying to assess the situation. he stays silent as he waits for you to spill everything in your vulnerable state
"i-i said some things to wonbin and i think i ruined everything and i don't know what to do. i have to see him, please for the love of fucking god, take me to where he is right now" you grab eunseok's hands as you practically beg right in front of him
everything is so heavy that you can’t take it. it hurts. your heart hurts. it hurts knowing that wonbin is mad at you and you can’t do anything about it; it hurts you that you hurt wonbin after everything he did for you. everything hurts
eunseok knows where this is going. sungchan just told him the truth earlier. how you had a crush on sungchan this whole time and you and wonbin were just pretending to be in a relationship to get over him.
though eunseok always had a little hunch that your relationship with wonbin from the get-go was weird for lack of better word. it felt too good to be true that you were able to hide something like a wholeass relationship from him, your own blood related relative, your own older brother out of all people. eunseok knows you like the back of his hand so for you to pull something like this out of your ass was already suspicious to eunseok from the start
with the constant act of him scaring wonbin, he thought you would've cracked by then but to his surprise you stood your ground. so that's when eunseok thought otherwise. so maybe it is real all along and that you were surprisingly good at hiding secrets from him but now everything just clicked to eunseok
from the way you first reacted when sungchan had a girlfriend, to the sudden interaction with wonbin back at the campfire, the first hug you had with wonbin, the dinner incident, the time he slept next to you, literally everything.. everything is starting to make sense
you continue to cry and sob in front of eunseok, as you let everything out.
“y/n i knew you were just using wonbin to get over sungchan” eunseok deadpans, sick and tired of this shit. “it was so painfully obvious. i’m surprised the guys haven’t caught on”
your eyes widened and you finally look at eunseok. yes you had taken advantage of wonbin's kindness, using him as a distraction from the ache in your heart. it was selfish, and now the consequences of your actions had come crashing down on you. you tried to say something in defense but he beats you to it
“i’m not mad” eunseok continues, closing his eyes for a brief moment, voice much softer now from before. “i’m just upset at the fact that you had to use someone to get over somebody else”
you look down at your lap, taking in his words. he was right after all.
“you should’ve just stood firm with yourself. you like or liked sungchan. so what? you could’ve dealt with it like a normal person like talking things out with him” eunseok continues, his words hitting right on the dot
“you didn’t have to resort into using someone, y/n” eunseok looks straight into your eyes, “especially not wonbin”
at the mention of wonbin's name coming out of eunseok's mouth, your eyes start to water again.
"now i don't really know the full story of your setup with wonbin but assuming things happened between the two of you and one fell for the other.. now you two are in whatever mess this is right now.. all i have to say is that what you did was wrong. to wonbin, it probably felt real at one point with the way you two were always going out on dates without any boundaries between you guys. you in the other hand.. to you, it probably felt like you were just using it as an excuse to forget about your dilemma with sungchan"
eunseok watches you intently as you slowly take in his words and cry in front of him. yes, you were his little sister and he loves you dearly but wonbin and sungchan were also his friends and he also didn’t like to see one of his friends hurt
"throughout the constant dates, and the way you were reacting positively to anything wonbin does, he probably thought it was a sign that you were starting to like him back.. it was almost like you were leading him on without you actually noticing because again, to you, this was probably just a distraction and now we're here in this mess"
okay that stung. you didn't mean to lead wonbin on.. if anything you didn't even notice the little advancements wonbin was allegedly doing. for all you know, you thought it was just a part of his second act!
you opened your mouth to defend yourself but it seems like eunseok wasn't done
"now the guy is practically in love with you and thought you felt the same. you shouldn't have done this, y/n. not when you know real feelings is involved. it's not fair for wonbin to take the bullet of your own decisions" eunseok finishes, looking straight into your eyes like he was looking at your soul.
eunseok watches as you try to slowly absorb everything but it ultimately ends with you crying again
“i’m sorry, seok. i’m sorry” you sob, covering your face with your hands.
eunseok sighs and pulls you into his embrace.
“i know you are. you wouldn’t be this upset if you weren’t” eunseok rubs your back as you continue to cry on his shoulder. “but you don’t own me an apology. it’s wonbin”
you pull away from eunseok’s embrace, wiping your tears and snot with your hand (and wiping it on eunseok’s shirt)
eunseok grimaces at your actions but brushes it off. it was not the time to pick some pointless fight with you.
"you can talk to wonbin later in the morning but right now, you need to rest since you probably can't think straight right now and who knows what else you'd do.. okay?" eunseok prompts, patting your head as his little way to comfort you
at first you wanted to argue that the sooner this is over, the faster you and wonbin would go back to talking terms but at this rate with all the crying you just did, you were tired.
but he was right. you're not in the proper state of mind at the moment. although it's best to strike while the iron is still hot, everything is still fresh and with the heightened emotions in the mix, it'll probably worsen the situation. so as much as this pains you, guess you'll have to wait for what tomorrow has in store for you and wonbin.
you're wishing, hoping and praying that things will turn out better tomorrow.
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between the lines ★ boundaries
⤷ from what started as a simple arrangement to hide your feelings for a certain someone by getting into in a fake relationship soon turns into a tangled mess. in which some things are hard to tell when you can’t read between the lines
 ˗ˏˋ prev | next  ˎˊ˗
★ notes .ᐟ wrote the first 4 pics while i was under the influence and im just running with it so……. thoughts?
★ taglist .ᐟ @callanton @annswwa @renjuneoo @pinkraindropsfell @lecheugo @ilovejungwonandhaechan @ahnneyong @haechansbbg @snowyseungs @sseastar-main @odxrilove @leeknowarchives @onlywonb @wonychu @leehanascent @jaeyunsb @au-ghosttype @revehosh @keilovr @kyusqult @dreamyyyz @ether-yeol @yangasm @qwonbani @starwonb1n @ffixtionista @daegale @scrumptiousloser @seunghancore @marksluvs @wonbinfiles @ohmykwonsoonyoung @reenfluffmarshmallow @bunni @artstaeh @yizhoutv @sie17136 @koeuh @07yujin @poollabug @vernonburger @dutifullyannoyingfox @000rpheus @wccycc @sunus-sun @highhjime @chweverni @toosspicy @heartlvrrss @s9nwoo @yoursyuno @stanriize01 @rosesfortaro @lampcults @alwayswook
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Hey, so your Tanjiro Reader post gave me an idea. And I just wanted to leave it here, and you can write something if you like it.
But I just thought of a Gyutaro Reader, who gets dragged into Twisted Wonderland with her Daki like little brother.
Just the yanderes falling in love with Reader and trying to court her (in their own obsessive ways), but dealing with her bratty little brother who hates the idea of anyone dating his big sister.
This could be due to Reader being deemed ugly in their previous world, Daki is afraid that the yanderes are just leading Reader on with the intention of humiliating her. Or Daki just hating the idea of a boy stealing Reader away from him.
My rant's over now. I hope you have a great day/night! Keep up the amazing work!
Thanks for the support! 🖤🖤🖤
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Gyutaro Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
Falling into their world with your little sibling in tow, it’s hard to believe others could look past your demonic self and shortcomings. Your little sibling’s idea of protection garners on who will actually survive their initial purge of people they consider to be faking it. If they do then your sweet sibling makes a point to beat them so close to death they’ll have no choice to be honest:
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Rook Hunt
“(Y/n)’s beauty is unmatched! I wish to serve them everyday!”
“Lies! You’re fast but not fast enough! If you can survive my sash’s capture than maybe I’ll let you have a chance!”
If Rook cheerfully returns to see you with multiple bandages he’ll just say ‘labors of love’
Your sibling is suddenly a lot less critical of the cursive love-letter
“If you do want to date him I guess that’s okay…but if he hurts you we eat him.”
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Kalim Al Asim
“What?! How dare you so openly continue to lie about your affection!? I should tear you to shreds right now!” 
“But I’m not lying. I love (Y/n) with all my heart!”
Call your sibling materialistic but she realizes how quickly he pays for things that you mention you like
Or paying to take you on not-so friendly hangouts
But even without that his beaming smile and honesty make them harder to interrogate
And then there’s Jamil
So they might let their guard down
If only to turn around and snap his neck when his bodyguard’s not there
Too bad he’s oh so diligent
And Kalim is far too persistant
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exhaslo · 2 days
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In your book corruption, does Miguel actually love reader?
In his own twisted way, he does. Miguel is a man of science, he doesn't toy with the thought of human emotions and is pretty bad at reading people. His first real connection was with reader which is why he acts rashly when reader gets hurt.
Villain!Miguel is obssessed with having the reader to be his trophy. He doesnt like his things getting hurt. Miguel will do whatever it takes to keep reader safe.
😏 Even if reader wasn't Spider-Woman, Miguel would still keep her by his side. He does find reader attractive and purposely keeps other men away. If reader wasn't Spider-Woman, Miguel would purposely make her one along with him because he will pick Reader as his bearer
💕It's a fucked sense of love, but it works for Miguel 💕
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I am politely asking for a bit more on Königs son the angst is so yummy 🥺
König loves his baby boy... Until it starts to talk.
He absolutely adores the baby when it’s born, he can’t sleep at nights because he has to go and check if the boy is still breathing in the crib. König loves to hold him close and rock him in his lap, wants to give him baths and even changes the diapers, is so invested in the little chubby nugget that it’s a bit perplexing to see him so babbly cuddly towards someone who isn’t this poor Prince’s mother.
But when the boy doesn’t need him so much anymore, when he starts to show independence and express his own will, starts to walk and run and hide and talk back to him, it makes König uncomfortable.
He’s not in control anymore, he’s not needed. He’s the one who’s always away, he’s the unfamiliar face, the stern voice, the “strange man”, the one who makes the boy look angry or afraid. He becomes the bad guy.
It’s not bullying if his own son doesn’t prefer him, König knows it. But it still hurts to feel like an alien in his own home. It feels like a personal insult to be the last choice once again.
König’s son sees his father as a judge, a tyrant, a competitor because every time he’s home, mum’s all hearts and smiles. The parent who’s supposed to represent the whole world to our Prince suddenly becomes weak and clingy and needy.
And for what? For some big foreign man who stares him down as if he’s nothing but dirt under his boot. Asks him if he’s been nice to mum and if he’s helped her with the chores. When mum’s not in hearing distance, König tells him he shouldn’t trouble her with his crying and whining... If he’s nice and behaves, König will bring him toys from his “work trips”.
He rarely brings any because “he couldn't find anything”. Mum is the one who gets foreign delicacies, perfumes and the like. König’s son soon understands it doesn't matter how well he behaves because it will never be enough.
In his dreams, he tries to kill König every now and then. The old bastard only laughs. He laughs, even in his dreams because he’s weaker than him, not a threat at all, only entertaining when he gets mad… He laughs and just won't die.
Mum comes first, always. Whatever she says is the law. Whatever she wants, she shall have. The way his father worships this woman is eerie, disturbing, and invokes so much jealousy that König’s son is not sure who he’s even supposed to be jealous of. This stupid fucker or his mum who seems to lose brain cells every time this dick returns home and disturbs their peace?
Girls are both Madonnas and whores to him after he has watched this tyrant become a babbling, spineless mess over an upset woman. The world quakes everytime his mum is unhappy because her happiness is paramount. The only time he has seen König in tears was when his mum refused to talk to him one evening: the argument was about him, of course, and how König should apologize to their son, not to her. It takes manipulation and a passive aggressive lioness to make König say he’s sorry, but it does nothing to help the situation, quite the contrary. Who would give a fuck about a forced apology?
König’s son becomes a covert people pleaser who feels lonely wherever he goes. He’s a mama’s boy whose father seemingly hates him, an angel and a demon in one man, someone who believes his worth is measured by the things he achieves in life. How well he performs, how much money he makes, how independent he becomes. With women, another one always bites the dust, with work, he never seems to find his passion. And wherever he goes, whatever he does, nothing is ever enough.
The only way for these two to find a common ground is if the poor Prince manages to settle down with some patient, loving woman who gives him a child. A grandson or a granddaughter would make König fold and become a babbling mess once more; he's so pathetic and harmless with the baby that no one can be angry at him even if they wanted to. König would kill anyone and everyone who tried to hurt his family, even a blind man can see that.
Reconciliation happens slowly but surely, even if it's another kind of hurt to see the old man give this child all the love his son would've begged his knees bloody for. But beggars can't be choosers (and apparently a king's son has no crown), luckily König becomes softer in the head as he ages so a time may come when he thinks back on what he's done and finds the balls to wholeheartedly apologize. Might demand a touching family Christmas dinner and some whiskey though.
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bonefall · 2 days
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I feel like that 'ear' anon also ENTIRELY missed the point of the scene.
First off, they're wrong that being hit on the ear doesn't hurt, and secondly, that's not the only thing to focus on.
What readers should focus on is that Crowfeather said nothing to stop Breezepaw from behaving a certain way, then smacked him without warning to get him to stop (which was said to be a harsh smack, anon).
The thing to focus on is that Crowfeather's interactions with his son are negative 99.9% of the time if not 100% of the time (the only time they got along pre-Crowfeather's Trial was when Crowfeather was encouraging bad behaviour, like mocking ThunderClan).
That anon basically said "it's okay because it doesn't hurt."
Even if that anon was right, even if the ear has zero nerves and could be cut off with no pain, Crowfeather still shouldn't have done it, because the emotional hurt is still very much real and very much there (plus real studies prove that it does nothing but cause harm)
It's true, and honestly I take it as an admission of desperation. They have literally nothing.
Even by their own awful "logic," the ear is an incredibly sensitive area. They had to find some excuse SO BADLY that they didn't even bother to touch their own head before making it, let alone actually address the severity of how profoundly abusive Crowfeather was to his child.
Even if this one particular backhand didn't matter, there is a MOUNTAIN of scenes where he belittles, neglects, and screeches at his son. Often over basic needs like rest and hunger.
And like, not to shadowbox too much, but that sort of anon and the "Let People Like X" crowd do seem to be huddled close together. Almost like "Let Ppl Like Crowfeather" is a euphemism for "Stop talking about how his actions are abusive." It reeks of insecurity.
My problematic faves have caused controversy from their very inception. They were born into it. Molded by it. By the time they had encountered defenders they were merely blinding. "I dont want my Comfort Character(TM) to be a bad guy :(" then you don't want a character, you want a safety blanket. Become a Brackenfur liker or something.
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cacoetheswriting · 2 days
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celebrity skin. (part eight)
pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x popstar!fem!reader word count: 5.2k summary: a reconciliation in New York leads to a rediscovery of not-so-hidden feelings and answers to previously avoided questions — plus more.
content warnings: 18+, minors dni: suggestive & mature themes, adult language, post-breakup emotional hurt / comfort, use of pet names, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of blackmail, & kinda rough smut (unprotected p in v sex) — if i missed anything in this chapter, pls let me know!
& psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely in the story, only that she’s a little shorter than eddie.
celebrity skin. masterlist
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One thing Eddie had been absolutely sure of: Stevie Nicks was right.
The trip to New York City was carried out solely on a whim. A gut feeling that the brunette rockstar could not quite shake. He had to see you, despite the possible consequences, and Eddie was smart enough to know there would be a lot. He acted like an ass and whether you would admit it or not, he knew he broke your heart.
Ever since his rise to fame, the Corroded Coffin frontman felt this bubble around him. A bubble created by his team, his band, his past, and his own disruptive behaviour — don’t do drugs was a warning he witnessed (and ignored) many times on posters too colourful for the subject matter, plastered on the walls of Hawkins High. Seemingly, the bubble protected Eddie from predators. Leeches that wanted to take advantage of his fame. Unfortunately, the bubble also shielded him from love.
Love. 
If the rockstar wasn’t so afraid of the feeling as a result of that bubble, perhaps he would have made different choices in all of his past relationships. Most importantly, perhaps Eddie would have made different choices in the one relationship that’s meant more to him than any other. If he wasn’t so afraid of love, and being in love, perhaps he would’ve fought to be with you a little harder.
And love is definitely how Eddie would describe what he felt towards you. Correction. Feels towards you to this very day. Maybe more, if that was possible considering he hasn’t seen you in months. 
So yes, Stevie Nicks was right. The concept of Silver Springs was right.
Seeing you again only affirmed that belief. Talking to you again, witnessing your smile for the first time in months… Well, Eddie never wanted to be apart from you for longer than he already had been. Unfortunately, that wasn’t up to him. Not for as long as your grandmother had her claw all up in your business and stuck her nose where it did not belong.
“So, what happens now?” The rockstar asks, only slightly afraid of the answer.
You hum under your breath, taking a moment to think, gathering your own thoughts. The sun is slowly rising in the distance, so the first response that comes to mind is that you should go home, and Eddie should go back to his hotel, Max’s place, or wherever the hell he’s been staying, before this place starts crawling with people. That would mean saying goodbye for lord knows how long and you were just starting to get comfortable with being around the rockstar again, although, not like that was insanely hard. Whatever. Simply, you didn’t want to say goodbye.
“We could go get breakfast,” you finally say.
Eddie smirks. “As much as like that idea, sweetheart, I didn’t really mean now in the full sense of the word.”
You laugh softly.
“Okay, hotshot.” Turning your head back to look at Eddie, you raise a brow. “What do you think should happen?”
The rockstar smacks his lips together before resting his elbow on one of his knees and bringing his thumb to his mouth. A nervous tick.
“Putting whatever reason I came here for aside, starting over seems like a bad idea since we’ve done that once before and it didn’t really end the way either of us hoped,” he says after a beat of silence, avoiding your gaze.
“Yeah,” you exhale, “Bad idea. Plus you said so yourself, you’re not the relationship type. Getting back together would be redundant.”
“Right,” Eddie agrees quietly, although he really doesn’t want to.
There’s another moment of silence. Nothing but the sound of morning birds chirping melodically and wind gust hitting the water ahead. In the quiet, there is solace. In the quiet, Eddie doesn't have to answer difficult questions or have conversations neither of you really wants to have. A blissful ignorance of what’s really happening here.
He still loves you. You most likely still love him.
It’s all just terrible timing for two people who are — in his mind, at least — made for eachother, but for one reason or the other, can’t be together. Not in this lifetime. Not with people controlling what they can or cannot do. Not with the whole world watching their every move. It hurt. Hurt that a life you both chose was also the life that’s actively destroying something good.
“We could try being friends?” Eddie offers eventually, looking at you then.
You smile. “Friends. I think I like that.”
-
Holly is the only person you’re fully comfortable talking to about all of this. She listens, actively nodding along as you spew your thoughts and feelings out loud, until the rambles become too hard to follow. Holly, ever the best friend that she’s always been, places her perfectly manicured hands on your shoulders and gives your body one shake to get you back on track when the story becomes a little too convoluted. And this one is all over the place.
There’s the run in at Saks, the meeting with Max, the plan, the date with Steve, all that leads to Eddie Munson banging on your front door until you let him inside. There’s the emotionally heightened conversation that doesn’t really amount to much. The dinner with your family that opened things up to questions from your nosh sisters and scrutiny from your Nana. Then there was Coney Island.
You pause.
It’s messy, for sure, and your feelings are all over the place as you recount each and every minor detail, which leads you to why you invited her over in the first place: what the fuck do you do about Eddie Munson?
Holly usually gives you advice. Parts of which you want to hear and take on board, parts of which you both know will be ignored. This time however, as you do your best to explain what’s been on your mind — and heart — since the rockstar arrived in New York, this time Holly doesn’t know what to say.
“I don’t know if I should forgive him.”
“Jeff says he’s been, like, super sullen all summer long. Locked in that house of his, or at the studio, working on shit he won’t let the band see.”
“That’s supposed to make it easier for me to do what, exactly? He’s secretive, that’s for sure. Hiding stuff from his band, from his sister, from me…”
You reach for the packet of smokes that Holly brought with her and light one, hand shaking ever so slightly.
“I got virtually nothing from him that night in my apartment. Slightly more under the Wonder Wheel, but still not enough to understand why he did what he did,” you exhale a puff of smoke, “Yet I can’t help but think that despite everything, especially ignoring the weeks I spent in bed because of him, we’re like meant for each other, you know?” 
Holly too lights a cigarette. She also doesn’t answer you.
“That’s kinda pathetic, no?”
“I think until you get the entire truth, it won’t matter whether you get back with him or just be his friend, or whatever, ‘cause you’re not going to be fully happy. Not really,” she explains, avoiding your question because there’s close to nothing worse than admitting to your friend that they’ve lost it completely.
“So I should confront him?”
“Jeff says Eddie doesn’t do well with confrontations.”
You groan. Head falling back on the cushioned sofa.
“Maybe I should just fuck him,” you think out loud, “Get all this frustration out and then just move on with my life.”
Holly laughs. “Just don’t let him finish,” she says, “Karma’s a bitch, and whatnot.”
-
New York City is your favourite place on Earth.
Despite your years of extensive travel to tour your various albums or attend different global award shows, New York, your home, has always been top of the list. Elegant, albeit slightly messy. Organised, although a little rowdy. It’s colourful, but dull. Full of people from every corner of the world, which only added to its pre-existing charm. You didn’t really think it was possible to fall in love with it even more until you’ve started to explore it all over again with none other than Eddie Munson — under a new guise of something called friendship.
The rockstar decided to extend his trip. Currently, there is no return date. Exploring New York became the only thing on his agenda. 
The two of you did your best to stay under the radar, away from prying eyes. Although, not like it was necessarily needed as Eddie’s idea of sight seeing involved bar hopping. Old-ish, rather shitty places that have definitely seen better days, but Eddie, he was like a kid in a candy store. With every beer poured and every bowl of peanuts shared, he lit up more and more.
“They remind me of home,” he finally explains, two days into your NYC adventure. “Of Hawkins.” 
You smile at him, but don’t say anything.
“What?” Eddie asks when he notices the look, mouth now full after taking another handful of the perhaps hundredth packet of peanuts the two of you have shared over the last few days.
“I don’t know,” you shrug, swirling the gold-ish liquid inside your beer bottle, “I guess it’s just nice that some small part of my home reminds you of your home.”
Eddie returns the fond expression. Friends is good, he thinks at that moment while catching another peanut with his mouth, not ideal, but good.
“There was this bar,” he says, leaning across the table so that he could be a little closer to you, “The Hideout. Our first venue, outside of Gareth’s garage, and the only place in my crappy hometown where I didn’t feel like an outsider.”
“Places like the Hideout, places like this.” Eddie swirls his finger in the air to show he means your current location, “They’ll always have a special place in my heart, I guess. They’re a part of me. Part of Corroded Coffin history.”
He stares at you for a minute. He’d never share this much with a friend, so perhaps this new concept you’ve both found yourselves in is not as good as the rockstar would like to think. “We could try being friends?” — Eddie’s second guessing his suggestion just as fast as he came up with it.
“We should see more of your home,” he finally states, “As much as I love them, I think we’ve seen all the dingy bars New York has to offer, so I’m open to suggestions.”
You bring the beer bottle to your lips and take a slow sip of the now semi-warm liquid, pondering his request. 
Where could you take Eddie that would represent your love for New York. The Statue of Liberty seems a little basic, as does Times Square — especially since you’ve both performed there in the past. Rockefeller Centre to see the street performers? The Met, even though both of you will most likely be invited next year to the exhibit. In reality, all of the touristy spots like Central Park, for example, would be a little too crowded for either of you to feel safe and remain unseen. 
Then your eyes glisten with an idea.
What’s more homey than a home itself: Cove City Sound Studios.
To any average person, it was just another recording studio found in New York. One of hundreds. To you however, it was heaven on earth. 
Located in Glen Cove, New York, Cove City Sound Studios had been home to many artists before you came along. A lot of albums were recorded here. A lot of number one hits — the list of which you were lucky to join more than once.
You always thought the ambiance of this place fueled your creativity. Often said the reason behind your resounding success was because you got the opportunity to record here. Of course Holly, Val, and especially your Nana, corrected you every time those words had left your lips. “You’re the reason behind your success,” your Nana would affirm, “Not some recording studio.”.
But you knew. Felt it deep within your bones. Cove City Sound Studios was magic.
“Damn,” Eddie mutters under his breath, fingers gently running across the various buttons as his doe-eyes dart across the posters on the wall — one of which features your 1985 album cover (a record once hidden under Eddie’s bed back in Hawkins). 
“Here I thought the place we recorded Honesty in was impressive,” he admits, “This though, this is another level.”
A smile circles your lips.
“Welcome to my home, Eddie Munson.”
The rockstar dips his head, sort of in a way of a little bow, and smiles so wide it makes your insides flutter. Friends, friends, friends. You repeat inside your mind, same thing Eddie is doing, although neither of you are aware. Friends hiding their true feelings.
“I’m honoured, sweetheart.” Eddie adds, placing a ring-clad hand on his heart.
“As you should be,” you tease and walk past him, pushing open a door into the vocal booth. 
The Corroded Coffin frontman follows you with zero to no hesitation. He watches as you slowly circle the small room before standing in front of a microphone, adjusting it to your height.
“I recorded every single one of my songs here apart from Honesty,” you reveal without looking at him. Focusing instead on tightening the metal rod in place. “Hundreds of records that will probably never see the light of day because my label doesn’t think they are good enough.”
Eddie snorts. “As if you could make something that wasn’t deemed good. We wrote shit together, remember? I know how good you are.”
Your lips twist into a timid smile and glance up at him from your lashes. “I appreciate that Eds, but unfortunately the industry doesn’t work that way and you, of all people, should understand.”
“Well, yeah, but doesn’t your grandmother have some sort of special power to get you whatever the fuck you want.”
It’s your turn to snort. “She may be resourceful, but she’s got no control over my management team. Even if she likes to think she does, the only real ability my Nana possesses is tell me what to wear and how to act.”
Eddie nods, taking note of this information. Knowledge he can use to free himself from deceit, blackmail.
Valuable insight into the evil woman that ruined his life since, as you’ve now so beautifully explained, she’s not nearly as formidable as she presented herself to be. A light at the end of the tunnel.
“Perhaps that’s why I can’t bring myself to listen to it,” you say, breaking Eddie away from his thoughts.
“What?”
“Perhaps that’s why I can’t bring myself to listen to Honesty. Because I didn’t record it here.” Nothing to do with the fact that it’s soiled by the memory of the last morning we saw each other, you think, clearly lying to yourself, and him.
Eddie swallows his breath. A twinge of guilt rushes through him. Actually, more than a twinge. A gush, like a waterfall out of control. He’s sure of it now. The two of you could never be just friends. Not until you knew the whole truth about why he did what he did and now that he knew your grandmother had a weakness in her armour, perhaps offering you the truth is something he could do sooner rather than later.
“Then maybe we should change that,” Eddie offers and proceeds to quickly shuffle out of the room, leaving you alone for a second.
You watch through the glass separating the two spaces as he scans the buttons, hands on his hips, tip of his tongue out to indicate he’s thinking. He looks cute and you fail to conceal a smile, so you opt to hang your head and stare at your shoes because you can’t afford to think he’s any sort of desirable. Just friends.
After taking a moment to familiarise himself with a new system, Eddie finds what he’s looking for and switches it on, before hurrying back to stand next to you.
“Ready?”
“Ready,” you affirm while putting a pair of headphones on.
For the next four minutes and twenty-two seconds, you get lost in the chocolate of Eddie’s eyes as you once again sing the song he wrote about you.
“Honestly, you got me fallin’ to my knees
It’s like ecstasy, this feelin’ inside of me
Let’s call it honesty”
Cove City Sound Studios creates magic. You’ve always believed it and now it’s only been affirmed because the way your voice melts with his — no band, no distractions — is nothing short of perfection. 
“You’re a devil in disguise
No, that’s what I want you to be
‘Cause in reality, hon’, you’re a hypnotic dream
An angel for sure
To a non-believer like me
Oh honesty, what have you done to me, honestly”
That’s why the song was a hit in the first place. Now you understand why your management team pushed you to do this collaboration in the first place. Magic. And as Eddie draws the last syllable without breaking eye contact, you’re transported back to the night you met. The night that inspired this song. 
The night that started all of this.
His mind wanders to the same moment, same place, same spot. Friendship is a word that no longer makes sense, but the rockstar doesn’t want to ruin anything (again), so he drops the headphones and exits the booth without saying anything.
You follow him with your gaze. A feeling of longing spreads through you faster than you know what to do with it. It’s unfortunately accompanied by fear because you’re not stupid, far from it. Eddie’s hurt you twice before. Going back in only to get burned a third time would be a grave mistake and you know better than to go down that road again. ‘Cause you do know better, right?
Then this morning’s conversation with Holly enters your mind. Your best friend was right. You could never be happy around him if you didn’t know the truth.
“Eddie, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think if you didn’t end things when you did, we’d still be together? Or do you think we were doomed regardless?”
He takes a moment to answer. Avoiding looking up through the glass to meet your curious gaze, anxious for an answer.
“I already told you.” His deep voice eventually booms through the speakers. “I’m not the relationship type.”
“Bullshit,” you’re quick to state. It comes out harsher than intended.
“Sweetheart—” He’s shaking his head, still without looking at you.
“No, don’t you fucking dare,” you interrupt, suddenly feeling deflated by this whole situation, defeated in the fight against your feelings towards him. “Like I said before, you don’t get to sweetheart me and give me some bullshit vague answer.”
Eddie’s eyes are now closed. He’s hoping if he shows how he wants no part of this conversation — not right now, not before he gets to speak to your management and then offers you up the truth — that you will let it go. Like you did that night in Coney Island and those last few days too. You seemingly let it go and everything was okay. Fucking friends.
“I gave in too quickly. Into your presence. I missed you so much that when you showed up at my door, it didn’t matter how angry or heartbroken I was. All that mattered was seeing you again and being around you again. But I should’ve stood my ground.”
You’re now standing right in front of the glass window. Arms hanging by your side, nails digging into your palms to pump the adrenaline that’s fueling this fight.
“No matter how many times you tell me that you’re not the relationship type, I won’t believe you. I refuse to believe you because that guy I met in an empty kitchen of a Hidden Hills mansion was looking for something more than a random hook up. He may not have said it, but he proved it with his actions,” you continue your reasonings, “He craved something meaningful. I saw it in the way he smiled every time his eyes met mine, and sensed it in the way he held me close.”
Then you exhale.
“That guy, although hiding behind a mask of an arrogant  dickhead, he wanted to be loved and Jesus Christ did I—”
Eddie’s gaze snaps to you then, widening.
“But if I got it all wrong,” you continue after a few seconds, “If I misunderstood that guy and what he really wanted, then all I need is for him to be straight with me,” you conclude, “No bullshit excuses, Eddie. If you simply didn’t like me, if you simply didn’t care, just say that and we can both carry on with our lives as if nothing ever happened.”
The door slams. Eddie stands in front of you in a flash, brown eyes holding onto yours with force. He’s agitated. He runs a hand down his face before reaching for your shoulders, then dropping his arms back by his side just as fast.
“I cared, of course I cared!” He exhales to compose himself before continuing, “I still care.” It’s barely a whisper.
“Then why?”
“I-I… Well, I just…”
His mind is racing to find the right answer. The truth is what you’re after, unfortunately that’s the one thing he can’t give you yet. Not if he wants to continue witnessing your success. Because, at the end of the day, his own fame and fortune is no longer important. He could care less if it burned to the ground. Your fame however, your fortune, that’s not something Eddie’s willing to gamble. So again, until he can speak to your management, get ahead of your grandmother’s scheming, the truth will remain sealed.
At least some part of it.
“There was this girl. Back home.” Eddie begins, voice shaky, “Before you, she was the only girl that ever saw me for who I really was.”
“Chrissy Cunningham,” you say her name.
Eddie nods.
“Yeah, Chrissy,” he repeats the name. It tastes a little foreign on his tongue after all this time. “Seemingly the classic cheerleader type, you know? Blonde, preppy, always fucking smiling. But Chrissy, she uh… she was far from just a cheerleader. Like me, she was a little misunderstood and that’s what initially brought us together.”
“What happened to her?” You ask. “You keep saying ‘was’. Chrissy was, as if she’s no longer—”
“Look, sweetheart,” Eddie interrupts, “I-I don’t really talk about her. I don’t like to. Too many bad memories.”
“Right,” you murmur, nodding slowly.
“Long story short, I cared for her and it didn’t end well, so when my care for you started to surpass that feeling… I just got scared.”
“Then why not tell me about her in the first place?” You query, “We could’ve talked it out. Pumped the brakes on whatever our relationship was starting to become.”
Eddie doesn’t mean to, but he scoffs. “And then what, huh? Just tip-toe around how we’re actually feeling until that builds resentment? Then it just ends anyway, but it hurts a lot more, no?”
He’s running a hand through his wild locks. Frustrated wouldn’t be the right word. Annoyed feels borderline the same. Angry, yes, but not at you. Angry at the world for introducing such a perfect character into his otherwise shitty life because he’d be better off without you. No. You’d be better off without him? Also no. Jesus Christ, he’s fucking confused.
“That’s what you asked. If I didn’t end things, would we still be together. The truth is, sweetheart, I don’t know because I attract bad shit and people get hurt and… And I need you to be happy, with or without me.”
Silence falls upon the two of you. It’s heavy with the half-truths that were just revealed. Heavy with the underlying tones that are telling you Eddie still cares, and telling him that so do you — more than either of you were willing to admit back then, and even less now.
And there’s definitely feelings there. They bubbled up the second you laid your eyes on him again and as your few days together passed without a major blowout, they only grew stronger — something you explained to Holly, who said that Eddie was so unlike you, it only made sense to feel something towards him. Love him, even.
Perhaps the hurt was worth it.
“Oh, fuck.”
“What?” Eddie’s brows string together as you momentarily glance at your feet before settling your gaze back on the rockstar.
“Guess we were never supposed to do this right.”
“What?” Eddie asks again.
“You said that to me. Back in LA after that picture of us was leaked to the press, remember?”
“Vaguely,” he answers.
“What if you were right?” You ask, tone a little quieter than seconds prior.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I’m not sure I’m following.”
Decided on your next move, in what you want to happen, you take a step towards the Corroded Coffin frontman so that the tips of your heels are touching his loosely tied Converse. You then place a hand on his chest, albeit hesitantly, and Eddie inhales a sharp breath (loud enough for you to hear).
“What if all of this, everything that happened between us, is because we were never meant to do this right in the first place, Eds?” 
A timid smile circles your lips as the question you asked settles in the air. Loaded full of uncertainty for the future and everything that time ahead holds for the two of you. Your Nana would say that a person of your stature shouldn’t give into uncertainty, something that in Eddie’s case was often repeated by Marianne. Everything is always meticulously planned. No room for error because uncertainty leads to mistakes and those are a nightmare for your respective PR teams. Unfortunately for those teams, uncertainty is what drew you to each other in the first place.
That, and insane fucking attraction.
“I did come here because I regret my decision,” he says while you say, “I miss you.” Both come out at the same time. Mumbled, jumbled together. It registers though.
Without giving it a second thought, Eddie dips his head lower while his hands reach for your face, ring-clad fingers now holding your cheeks. In that same breath, his lips crash against yours in a yearning kiss — one that is fuelled by months of pent up tension and a desire you both shared since your first meeting back in August of ‘92.
It's a dance of fire. One that is burning bigger and brighter with every second his mouth is attached to yours. Dangerous, would be a good word to describe this moment, but the line has been crossed yet again and since there’s definitely no going back now, your fingers tangle themselves in his brown locks as you push your body closer. Eddie also gets braver. He bites down on your bottom lip and when you gasp ever so softly, the rockstar slides his tongue in with ease.
You feel elated. This is exactly what you’ve been missing and by the way Eddie’s tongue twirls within your mouth, hands squishing your face, afraid to let go, you know it’s what he’s been missing too.
It’s destructive, for sure. But the hurt is worth it. You know that now. You feel it. Every single fibre of your being grows more and more alive as Eddie presses into you further, as he caresses your skin with so much tenderness. And you’re beyond cloud nine. Beyond touching heaven. It’s destructive, but it’s bliss.
“If we keep kissing like this,” he whispers against your lips, forehead pressing against yours, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to contain myself.”
“Who says you have to?”
Eddie groans against your jawline before continuing to trail soft pecks along your skin until he reaches your ear, biting it gently.
“We should probably talk about what this means,” he says, but you just shake your head. “‘Cause friends don’t kiss like that, sweetheart.”
“I don’t care about that now, Eds.” You affirm, sure of what you want. Sure that you don’t ever want to forget him or move on. He is a part of you, forever. “I just want you.”
And with that your lips finds his again.
The kiss is feverish, messy. You’re tugging at each other’s clothes, desperately trying to get them out of the way as fast as possible. In an attempt to be even closer, propelled by an indescribable urge, Eddie shifts your positions so that his back is the one to the room, you’re by the wall, and mere seconds later, your back is pressed firmly against his chest.
His strong hands send shivers through your body as they make their way down until they reach your panties, skirt long disregarded, a garment on the floor. He no longer hesitates about what this means, ripping the material down before his feet are kicking your legs apart. Ring-clad fingers slide along the curve of your ass, kneading the flesh, desperate to feel you. All of you. And as one hand works to unzip his pants, the other works its way to your wet entrance, feeling along your slit.
“Please, please…” The excitement causes you to grow warm and moist in his hand.
He can’t contain himself. Removing his hand in a rapid manner, he pushes his cock inside of your starved pussy. You close your eyes at the contact and Eddie begins to fuck you, hard. Rhythm picks up rapidly and you’re clenching around him in a matter of minutes, lower muscles seizing at the contact they’ve long forgotten, but were now more than pleasantly reminded of. 
“God,” he groans, “I fucking missed you.”
The moan that escapes your lips is nothing short of pornographic. It’s a direct response to his words, as well as his actions. He’s pounding into you relentlessly. There’s no time for pleasantries or any sort of softness. This is all about fulfilling a need-based desire and you’re more than willing to comply, high on his voice when he praises “Fuck, baby”, and “You’re doing so good for me, pretty girl.”
When you feel his hands grip your hips, you moan his name. Loud, pathetic. Undone. The rockstar begins to bounce you against him. Your knees weaken and you fall back onto him, head now resting on his shoulder, losing yourself completely in the moment and the pure ecstasy that you’re feeling. The pleasure is almost too much for you.
“Eddie, I’m so close,” you whisper, looking up at him through your lashes. 
The Corroded Coffin frontman captures your mouth with his. Short, but far from sweet is the kiss. Hungry and devilish. He bites your bottom lip as he pulls away, drawing just a prick of blood.
“Let go for me, baby.” 
When you do, obeying his request, your whole body shivers harshly in his embrace. Eddie keeps going, only his pace has slowed. He’s whispering sweet-nothings into your ear, continuously praising you for being his good girl, and you promise yourself that no matter what happens next, you’re going to be that forever. 
The high soon ends and Eddie pushes you forward gently. You then feel the rockstar’s cock leave you, warm cum spurting over your ass without warning. You’re delighting in the feeling of his juices on your skin. He delights in it too, trailing his fingers over your rear until you turn around to face him.
There’s a smile on your face. Devious, yet benevolent.
Yes, Eddie thinks, Stevie Nicks was definitely right. ‘You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you.’ Not like he’d ever want to anyway.
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thank you for reading! really appreciate the endless & continuous support!
celebrity skin. masterlist
& tagging some cool ppl that expressed interest: @eviethetheatrefreak , @thirddeadlysin , @haylaansmi , @nope-thanks , @tlclick73 , @vintagehellfire , @ashlynnkennedy , @avalon-wolf , @sidthedollface2 , @astheni-a , @bebe07011 , @aysheashea , @papillonoirsworld , @vol2eddie, @spideyanakin-interacts , @rogers-sweatbands , @mimsie95 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @ohmeg - (if your user is crossed out, it means the tag isn’t working. pls check you’ve enabled tagging in your settings)
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shellxrls · 13 hours
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okay to complete the trilogy
here’s how jj fucks
okay so we all know jj is an energetic person, and this only escalates in bed.
he has ridiculous stamina and an even more ridiculous refractory period. he will dump three loads and still be up for more.
he also does not gaf if it gets messy.
he loves to feel in control, I mentioned this with rafe but for him it’s slightly different. he’s much less mean about it. Rafe sees it as a power trip whereas jj sees it as like “helping” in a way.
for me specifically sometimes I just need to turn my brain off and that’s exactly where sex with jj comes in best.
he’s not soothing like John b is, he just does not stop. and that fucking works.
he also very much knows what he likes, and will always make sure he gets that, but he’s also realllyyy good at making sure the pleasure is mutual.
he never had an off day when it comes to giving pleasure, he may but a dumb fuck, but he does know how a girls (and a guys I can’t even lie to you) body works.
he loves giving backshots! if he could choose one sex position for the rest of his life it would be having me face down ass up.
he goes fast and hard, and he’s a grunter. Always with the little punched out “uh, uh, uh”’s and it’s so so hottttt.
skin slapping and bedpost banging are the primary sounds heard other than disgustingly shameless moaning.
jj is a shameless moaner and he made me one too the little cunt.
if I’m not loud enough for his liking or if I’m tryna quiet myself down he will dirty talk the noises out of me.
he genuinely said “lemme hear those pretty noises mama, yeahhhh that’s it.” And I’m never. ever recovering.
he’s not into any kinks that involve deliberate injury for pleasure. like slapping or choking, stuff like that he hates in bed. simply because his at home life is quite unstable and he just can’t imagine ever doing that to someone he loves cause he knows how it feels. even if it’s consensual on the receiving side he just absolutely cannot bring himself to do it. As a very open and experimenting person in bed, choking, slapping anything of that type of action he absolutely refuses and honestly I get that. He also refuses any type of noncon.
however he can spank. though only EVER does it when he’s really mad or riled up, and even then he is so so so attentive. always checking in after every hit just to make sure it’s not becoming too much.
he is also very adamant about safe words. always having a safe word and action and always checking through them and agreeing on them before we do anything that involves deliberate injury or just anything particularly rough in general.
also makes sure to give very good aftercare after spanking or a particularly rough night. LOTS of kisses and praise cause he would absolutely eat away at himself if he thought I was feeling neglected or bad about myself cause of something he’d done. especially in a setting as vulnerable as that.
and he’s also very good and communication which surprised me. again he’s very adamant about never hurting the people he loves, especially with the way he grew up. if I’ve suggested something he doesn’t want to do for that reason he’s very good at voicing it and honestly I’m glad bc I would never want to make him uncomfortable.
he’s also v open about sex, and is always totally there to talk about it or hear new suggestions or anything that I need to talk about he will.
he is very into butt stuff!!! I am his anal princess I cannot even begin to lie to u. he definitely has not bought me as many butt plugs but you bet I’m gettin a nice one he saved up for every Valentine’s Day cause he’s jst a lover boy to his core <33 and butt stuff <333
he’s mostly into giving praise but sometimes if he’s particularly wound up a little bit of degradation is sprinkled in. again is very thorough with aftercare after the fact of these situations.
he’s also such a munch. like the munchiest munch in munchland. he owns a t-shirt that says “I ❤️ eating pussy” and wears it on a regular.
he knows just how to work a pussy with his mouth and its IMMACULATE!!! he can also eat ass too omg.
he lovesss using toys. most guys see toys as a competition, but not jj. this man knows what’s up. he has a whole ass collection of random ass toys laying around and somehow at some point they all get used.
his fav combination when I’m tired is being four fingers knuckles deep in me with a vibrator to my clit and ohmygollygoshgoodness. deceased.
he’s really into tired / sleepy sex too. though he’d never do anything sexual while I was asleep because as previously stated, this man does not do any type of noncon.
but like I say if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night then it’s sleepy, sloppy, tired messy sex and ughh <333
he also loves cockwarming mmh. well put a movie on and I’ll jst sit on his cock and it’s sooo..
loves being sucked off <3 and he has such a pretty dick too. uncut but he actually likes to shave around there. such a perfect pink tip like I can’t even it’s the prettiest thing. can taste putrid though if I’m not careful.
he likes to have his balls played with / sucked on.
and PISS KINK!!! omg he’s jst gross ab it it’s so hot. makes me grind on his thing when I need to piss just to make me lose control and :(((
also on another note he does not gaf if I’m on my period. a true soldier is not afraid to get his sword bloody (I saw someone else on their blog say this and have honestly just adopted the phrase cause it makes me giggle)
I think this is everything but I’m literally so tired right now, if there’s anything I’ve forgotten I’ll js put it in a different ask <3
- rafe shifter
i’m posting this rn cuz everyone wants it !! i don’t have time to individually respond but trust i WILL add onto this post later with my own thoughts. ty anon for sending this in and taking time to explain every detail <3 !!
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2hightocare · 1 day
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@ jk and oc reaction to Joon suel dating 🤣
Were they chill saw i4 coming or were they really surprised?
they actually such shippers but in their own way (here’s a cute scenario of them noticing that ye joon def has a crush on seul🥹🥹🥹)
“Let’s let Iseul drive,” you joke, causing your daughter's eyes to widen as Jungkook and Ye Joon immediately agree, laughing at Iseul’s reaction. “I’m actually more of a passenger, princess,” Iseul says, but soon finds herself in the driver's seat with a scowl on her face.
“It wouldn’t hurt to smile a bit, dimples,” Ye Joon jokes from the passenger seat, tugging on a small piece of Iseul’s hair. You and your husband happily and silently joke about how cute they are from the back seats. “It’s like you all have a death wish,” Iseul playfully retorts as she turns on Jungkook's car.
Everyone knows how much Iseul hates driving, which comes as a shocker to people since she has a better car than you and Jungkook. It makes you realize the meaning behind: kids first, parents second. “Ye Joon, you are in charge of directions. Act like me and Y/n are not here,” Jungkook interlocks his hand with yours as you drop your head on his shoulder with a giggle.
“Y'all do know Seul doesn’t know her left or right?” Ye Joon jokes, earning a glare from the girl beside him in a sundress.
“You shouldn’t be talking bad about the driver. Just a small turn ca-” Iseul gets interrupted by her dad.
“Okay, less talking, more driving,” he shakes his head with a chuckle, making everyone in the car laugh.The car ride to the restaurant is filled with banter between the driver and the passenger princess in question. “So in this next stop, turn left,” Ye Joon says, watching Iseul giggle nervously and putting her two hands up in two “L’s.”
“Baby left!” Ye Joon points to the left side of the street, the nickname rolling smoothly off his tongue, making yours and Jungkook's ears perk up.
“You heard that right?” Jungkook whispers into your ear, his breath hitting your neck, making you giggle softly. “I think he has a crush on her,” you reply, making Jungkook bite his lip to contain the smile he wants to let out. “Taehyung told me the same thing, talking about getting upgraded as father-in-law and winning against Eunbi,” your husband whispers back.
“She’s dating Luka though,” you whisper, watching the two of them bicker about directions. “You know what they say, don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding the love of your life,” Jungkook whispers into your ear, making you burst into laughter, which catches Ye Joon's attention.
He raises an eyebrow, waiting for you to share ‘what’s so funny,’ but you only shrug before shooting your husband a mock expression right after the brown curly-haired boy turns his attention back to the pretty girl beside him.
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Skin-deep Chapter 2
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summary: The one where you fall for Seungcheol amongst all the protests and insecurities. The one where you don't know that he's fallen for you too.
a/n: I'm still reeling over the fact that people actually liked chapter 1. So originally this was supposed to be part of chapter 1, but I stupidly didn't add it in cause i was worried it would be too long. But anyway, when it's finished i will create a list so its not too confusing :D
The walk to uni wasn’t so bad. The weather was good, birds were out chirping, students chatting happily around you. You felt good after yesterday’s party. Nothing better than watching all your friends get pissed drunk while you were perfectly sober. 
You knew Mingyu wouldn’t make it to class this morning, his parents were visiting next week and he needed to make sure everything that was damaged was replaced and the things that were un-replaceable was fixed. That meant no morning coffee for you since Mingyu normally bought the two of you coffee. While in different courses, the both of you had arranged your classes so that you would have time to meet up in the morning before going into your individual classes. 
Naturally, this lead to many rumours. 
Mingyu was popular because of all his parties and money. It was no secret that Mingyu’s family owned a global hotel chain (which name rhymes with Lariott). He grew up being spoilt by his parents. Them buying him a house when he moved to uni was a good example. On a sensible 5000 square meters, they had built him an olympic sized swimming pool, the largest trampoline you had ever seen, a basketball court and a 10 bedroom mansion. The house was built by some renowned architect and was featured in architectural digest for being a masterpiece. Or that was what you heard.
It wasn’t just Mingyu who was rich, in fact his entire friend group had more money than the Kardashian’s combined. You regularly hung out with Soonyoung whose family owned some phone company in Korea which were the biggest rivals of the phone company with the fruit. Jeonghan and Joshua studied with you in the library. Jeonghan’s parents were some billionaires from Asia, you had no idea what they did, and Joshua’s parents owned some music companies in the US. Which ones? You had no clue. You, Seungkwan and Seokmin attended orchestra together, you were part of the strings section and them in the choir. Seungkwan’s father owned a few of the best law firms globally. Seokmin’s parents were in the rubber business, or something like that. 
People around campus labelled you as the charity case, the girl that Mingyu and his friends took in because they had extra money to spend. Some people called you a gold digger. Some people said you were fucking them for money. The list was endless and you were friendless. Girls didn’t  approach you because they all had the hots for Mingyu and Co. Several guys had tried to pay you to sleep with them, after declining with colourful language, you swore
Did it hurt your self-esteem? Not really, you never really cared for rumours. Sure, Mingyu paid for your coffee every morning, did you try to stop him? Yes, every morning. Does he listen? No. 
Then there was Seungcheol, his family started a tech company that had started growing meteorically when his father became the CEO. Apparently everybody in the world knew his family. He would show up at school with a different car everyday, girls would crowd around him in the hallways (which you found comical) and all the professors in the school sucked up to him thanks to his family’s generous donations. 
Seungcheol’s interest in you was a recent development, he made it his mission to flirt with you every time he was in the same vicinity as you. It was fun but you had to constantly remind yourself that you weren’t special, he treated you the same way he treated other girls.
You weren’t immune to his advances, however. When he smiled at you, you could literally feel your legs turn into jello. When he spoke to you, you felt yourself wanting to continue the conversation just to hear what he had to say with that deep voice of his. It didn’t help that you shared common interests, he was a regular sting instrument player due to his upbringing, he had a penchant for reading journal articles as well as discovering new coffee places each week. Your texting history with Seungcheol’s rivaled that of yours and Mingyu’s and you've known Mingyu since you two were in diapers. 
Everyday you felt yourself getting closer to becoming one of Seungcheol’s hair twirling, pitchy, squeaky zombies. 
When you arrived for class, you sat alone at the corner. Coffee-less. None of your friends took your course, so you spent every class alone. You had tried to make friends at first, but they all ended up asking you to introduce them to Mingyu and Co. When you rejected to help, they would just flat out stop speaking to you. After the first few “friends”, you gave up. 
The professor started droning on about paediatric respiratory conditions and all you could think about is how much you wanted this to end. Throughout the lecture you received dirty looks from some whispering girls as usual. You recognised some of them from the night before, Seungcheol’s squeaky zombies. 
When the professor finally ended his speech (essentially talking to himself the entire time), you packed your bag and bolted out of the room, not wanting to deal with any of those girls. You were surprised to see Seungcheol just by the door. He was leaning against the wall, looking as cool as the devil himself. When he spotted you, he pushed himself off the wall and approached you with a coffee cup in hand. 
“Cheol? What are you doing here?” You said to him while adjusting your laptop bag. 
“You look in need of coffee, doll,” He smiled, holding out the coffee cup. Just as you were about to reach for it, he pulled back. You furrowed your eyebrows, staring at him. 
“Let’s trade,” He said holding an empty hand out, “Your bag for coffee.”
“What?” 
“Your bag first.”
“I-what?” 
“Jesus, princess, you really need coffee,” he pulled your bag off your shoulder with his free hand and pushed the coffee cup into your open palm. You sigh, not wanting to argue with him.
“Cheol, why are you here?” You ask in between sips, allowing yourself to soak up the sweet sweet embrace of coffee. “Thank you by the way.”
“Why not?” He said as his eyes traced your lips, memorising every shape and turn. His heart fluttered from how cute you looked doing the most mundane things like coffee drinking. 
“Cheol.”
“Mingyu told me he wasn’t coming in today so he asked one of us to get you coffee, I came because I wanted to see you. Happy?” He said, looking away at the last bit. “Now come on babe, let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“Do you enjoy questioning me, sweetheart?” 
“Yes.” You smiled at him mischievously, he grinned back at you.
He slung your bag over his shoulder. As the two of you walked, you dart around to try and grab your bag back from him. Amused by your efforts, he resorted to putting an arm around your shoulder, holding your arms down as he lead you to his car. 
The car in question was a black Ferarri Daytona SP3, you only know because people had been talking about it nonstop, that and your brother was a car person. The obvious choice and most sensible option for a uni student. A Ferarri. 
Many students were surrounding the car and snapping pictures, you knew with the way you two were walking you’d probably make the headlines of many group chats along with his car. As the two of you approached, the crowd seemed to part to allow Seungcheol to reach his car. 
“Ok, but seriously where are we going,” You said, squatting down to search for the door handle. How on earth do these doors open?
“Mingyu asked us to go over for food.” Seungcheol said, he softly brush your hand away and pulled the door open for you. The door swung upwards narrowly missing your head. 
You got into the car, carefully, not wanting to scratch the car and pay your entire school fees worth of damages, and as gracefully as possible. Seungcheol smiled fondly, watching you struggle to get into a car so low, he made a mental note to drive you in a higher car next time. 
“How was the party last night?” You said once Seungcheol started driving. 
“It was great, no thanks to you.” He said. He maneuvered through the crowd of students gathered around to admire his car.
Deciding to tease him a little bit more, you raised the pitch of your voice, “But Cheollie~ you had so many girls after you last night.”
“You left me to die,” He turned to give you a pout, “I saved you earlier but you threw me to the wolves.”
Placing a hand over his chest, “You hurt me, baby,” he declared. 
You giggled, finding him cute. When Seungcheol pulled out in Mingyu’s driveway, you noticed that everybody was already there from to the variety of supercars littering the front of the house. 
“Did you end up going home with any of them?” You asked trying to ignore the pang in your heart, you were only half joking right now.
The air shifted. Seungcheol’s expression unreadable, his eyebrows furrowed. “No, why would I?”
“Oh, cause if you did, you would have’ta thank me you know, I was technically your wingwoman.” You joked. 
He sighed, turning off the engine. You turned to open the car door but he reached over and pulled you towards him. You looked at him, his fingers laced with yours. 
“Why would I want any of them when I have you?” 
You tried your best not to take that to heart.
A/N2: Again, i welcome constructive criticisms, or any questions at all, just shoot me a dm or ask or whatever :)
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thedemonscrawler · 12 hours
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I'm just gonna do this to Ruin
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LIKE. YES I KNOW HE DID EVERYTHING WRONG. BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED HOW SAD HE MIGHT BE ABOUT IT
Like aaaaa I'm cursed to only like characters when they're losing I guess, and a Pyrrhic victory counts as a loss. I didn't CARE about this guy when he was the main antagonist, and then Eclipse 3.0 chucked him in the back of a car and kidnapped him and I was suddenly interested. And NOW, when everyone is very much upset about Solar, I'm off to the side shaking this bastard around because we finally got some concrete answers to what's going on in his head.
Just! This whole thing-- this is an exceptionally Moon thing for him to have done. To go 'I'm going to completely and totally remove this possible threat from ever occurring, and I'm fine with being the bad guy to do it'? That's some Old Moon kind of thinking. This wasn't a plan he came up with in the past few months, this took him years.
And speaking of years! Fifty years of playing pretend! Of acting like you enjoy hurting people, that you don't care as your body literally falls apart around you. I'm not a fan of the idea that he was never infected, I like the perspective better that he was infected, it just wasn't as responsible for his behavior as he made it out to be-- but still. At some point he had to have gone numb to it for the sake of his own survival.
What does that do to your mentality? Your outlook? What's it like knowing that your whole world was brought to its knees by your creator? What's it like being the only semi-stable person you know for half a century? What's it like realizing that you're also changing, and not for the better?
He's just... so painfully isolated, in a way that Eclipse doesn't even come close to touching.
And! And even after being 'cured'! He's still isolated! Like it was a good thing he WAS up to something-- can you imagine how crushing it would be if he'd been genuinely not doing anything, and he was still treated with suspicion for a solid like 4 months? By probably the most consistent group of animatronics he's had to talk to that weren't infected with a weird virus?
Like, the man didn't get repaired until 3 months after being cured, after Solar made a blueprint in his spare time. He didn't get a bed until Moon felt guilty about rummaging around inside his head-- and tbh I don't know if he ever got to actually use that bed. He let them call him Ruin.
Ruin never had a home in 'our' dimension.
And hhhhngh like I'm not even sure he cares, because he's past the point of caring. He's got one of Sun's worst traits as well, "There's no point in sharing what I'm thinking because no one is listening". He could have approached Moon and Solar with like "Hey okay so I started on this plan to do this thing like 10 years ago, I would like some input" and maybe an alternative could have been found!
But he didn't, because he's alone. He came up with the best plan he could, weighed the risks, and acted on it, all by himself. A single weird Eclipse against 5,000 Creators, because he felt like that was the greatest threat.
And like, lets be real-- Solar's death was 100% a narrative necessity. Otherwise we the audience wouldn't really care that Ruin had wiped so many dimensions from existing, it'd just be a number. That thing of like, you gotta make it personal to have impact. Very good storytelling right there.
(Though from a in-universe perspective, man it must have been an unpleasant shock to learn that of course the only other dimensional refugee was from one of the worlds you had to destroy. Like, come on, what are the odds)
He did something horrible. A multi-dimensional catastrophe to prevent a multi-dimensional catastrophe. He probably accepted the ramifications of it ages ago. He just... utterly lacks any hope, you know? No hope of forgiveness, no hope of improvement. He survived his world long enough to do this thing, and he has nothing else going for him.
He's just waiting for them to finally kill off his body, because he already died years ago.
Anyway I'm desperately trying to find an angle that can be used to maybe pull him out of his coffin here and so far I'm not seeing one qq but maybe future eps will give me something to work off of.
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hey, just wanted to say thanks for the rec for Cat Girl. it is the best kind of extremely uncomfortable! but it's got me musing on your note about the relevance of the cat girl element itself. I agree that it is depicting an abusive relationship, but it's clear that Peter is completely incapable of perceiving that that's what it is, because he's so far down a deeply screwed hole of ideology. (continued in a sec, hang on-)
- so Peter is the way he is because he has accepted a series of small explanations for the things in his life as seeming accurate, that has stacked up into a deeply dysfunctional worldview that he's too deep into to question at all. so I think the Literal Government Issued Cat Girl is very much a metaphor for a society-level case of "you don't question your own idea of normal". rather than address the root of the problem, a wildly unethical bandaid has been slapped on it. in other words; Peter doesn't question that his ideas are correct, when they're obviously very skewed. but the society that gave him Andi doesn't question that it is normal for people to get this twisted up in an effort to make sense of the world. of COURSE there are internet chuds, people like Peter existing is "normal". and in the process of just accepting that some people are unsalvageable, innocent people like Andi get hurt, and that's just "normal" too. Peter isn't unfixable. it's clear he could be better, WANTS to be better, because he is straight up miserable. but he doesn't consciously know that, or how to start. the decision that some people are just fundamentally screwed up and there's nothing anyone can do about it doesn't just hurt him, it lets him hurt the people around him. Andi is, metaphorically, everyone else being tossed under the bus alongside Peter by the simple act of treating him like he's just inherently a shitty person.
Man, this is a long ask! If I were the author of Cat Girl, I'd be honored to see someone spend so much time thinking about it. But I don't think I agree, exactly.
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Peter wants to "be a good person", yes, but his understanding of what a "good person" is is completely self-centered. Him calling Andi "Yua" while talking over her trying to explain that she does in fact have a name is obviously establishing him as a douche, but it's also worth noting that "Yua" is a Japanese name. He's thinking of her as an anime waifu and not a person (or, given the first results when I google "Yua", a porn star, but maybe it's a Breath of Fire 2 reference)
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And while he falls into depressive self-loathing after she complains about not having a change of clothes, his internal monologue is entirely about himself. At no point, ever, does Peter even consider that Andi has feelings or is anything other than a reflection on him.
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When he locks her in a closet, his most overtly abusive act, he starts crying because he feels bad about what a bad person he is, but even while he's crying he's simultaneously blocking the door, which is a very literal depiction of their relationship. His angsting about being a good person is not his way out of the problem, it is the problem. He never even once considers being nice to Andi because she'll like it, it's entirely "I don't want to force her to have sex with me (because that would make me feel bad), but maybe if I'm nice to her she'll initiate the sex". And he doesn't even care about the sex itself, just the implicit validation of being Confirmed Good By A Girl.
Peter is the way he is because his morality is entirely self-centered. Andi is a way for him to prove his morality to himself (well, try to and fail), not an actual person whose feelings he's ever considered except for if she hates him or not. That's what makes him such an interesting villain, he keeps concocting a story in his head where he's the poor sweet babu trying his best and never stops doing that to let his girlfriend out of the closet.
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comfort hungry phoebe x reader
rpf!!!
pls dont be mean i dont claim to be a good writer i literally just need more boygenius content and took it into my own hands, im aware this isn’t good <3
this is also extremely self indulgent im chronically single and touch starved atm
phoebe was never one for emotions, perhaps stemming from her childhood years begging to be loved, or maybe her innate fear of vulnerability. she didn't like to dwell on the whys too much, her friends had accepted her odd ways and her ever revolving partners had managed, although not without with difficulty. her favourite pet name for her ex was 'dude', a funny running joke at first but then a sad testament to the lack of intimacy within their relationship, and when her first girlfriend admitted that she loved her all phoebe could force out was an awkward smile and a quick 'you too'. it wasn't that she didn't feel, in fact the girl felt so much that it hurt, it pained her to see how her inability to express her emotions affected her relationships but it just never felt right.
that was until she met her girlfriend. phoebe was enamoured with you from the moment you were introduced after one of her shows by some mutual friends. your smile was what first attracted her to you, but it was your ability to make her feel completely comfortable with herself that made her stay. now, almost a year into your relationship phoebe couldn't get enough. she still wasn't big on being affectionate in public, but today she found herself craving your touch, catching your eye from across the room filled with people she couldn't care less about. she smiled as you recognised her discomfort, always in tune with what she needed, and made your way to her. linking your two hands together phoebe squeezed tight letting the sweet smell of your perfume distract her from the blurring noise of the conversation happening around her.
when a brief lull arose in the discussion, phoebe couldn't help but drag you away to a secluded corner. she hated these things, glorified industry networking parties, but ‘the record’ came out in a few months and their manager insisted her and the boys went so naturally you had to come along too. 'fuck's sake', phoebe muttered, resting her forehead on your shoulder, feeling you move as you giggled.
'phoebs, it's not that bad, just an hour or so left and we can leave, i promise', you ran your hands through the blondes hair, feeling her sigh before she lifted her head and held your gaze with wide eyes. she usually managed to push through these things on autopilot but she'd been having a bad few days which quickly turned into a bad week, falling back into her cruel cycle of self hatred and nihilistic thoughts and all she wanted to do was be at home cuddled up with maxine and of course, you.
wrapping her arms around your waist you couldn't help but notice that she was tugging you closer, pulling you into her despite the curious eyes that usually would send her back to her anti-pda ways. you too ignored the stares and melted into her warm body, sensing her need for comfort. 'i love you so much baby', you whispered, rubbing your thumb softly along the strip of skin where her shirt had separated from her trousers, 'we can go right now if you want, i know you're not feeling good.'
biting her lip in thought you could practically see the cogs working in her brain and she sighed before answering, 'no, i promised jb and lucy i would be here', you were about to interrupt her to tell her what she already knew, that her bandmates wouldn't care if she left and never came back once she was safe and feeling okay, but phoebe gave you a pleading look, 'i know, but i want to be here for them, they were so excited for this.'
'okay, but say the word and we'll leave' you hesitantly replied, wanting nothing more than to wrap phoebe up in your bed with a steaming cup of tea and a promise to never let anything hurt her. she looked at you with grateful eyes, lifting her head from where it had fallen on your shoulder to press her lips against yours. 
as if sensing they were being spoken about lucy and julien bounded over and took in the stance of their two friends, 'the heart eyes over here are insane’, joked julien, before throwing her own heart eyes at lucy who was instead focused on the way phoebe kept herself firmly in your hold, despite both of you expecting her to move away like she usually did. 
phoebe lightly smiled murmuring a quiet retort to her best friend, slipping effortlessly into their usual back and forth relationship. joining the conversation you tried to ignore the woman clinging to you, not wanting to bring attention to the fact that she was still attached to you but that became impossible when her hand grabbed yours and placed it on her back, looking at you with puppy dog eyes. you knew what she was looking for, and holding back a smile you dragged your nails lightly up and down her back the way she loved. she craned her neck to stare up at you and your cheeks flushed at the intense love in her eyes. 'i love you sweetheart, thank you for being here’, phoebe said, the earnestness in her voice making your heart squeeze. smiling like an idiot you kissed her forehead, continuing to rub her back.
'this is sickening phoebs', julien interrupted, a grin on her face, as much as she loved making fun of the blonde she also loved seeing phoebe so comfortable in her relationship for the first time. 'shut up' phoebe muttered, finally pulling away from you to hide her blushing face. you laughed at the look on the boys' faces as they finally saw this side of phoebe, the one which you gladly experienced every day. phoebe was so full of love. she had so much of it to give and you were on the lucky receiving end of it. 'i hate you all of you guys' she said, finally emerging from behind her hands, her red cheeks apparent.
'no you dont', said lucy, shaking her head softly at their friend.
'no i dont'
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hekateinhell · 1 day
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I just need to get something off my chest real quick, there's really no need to read this unless you want to because you're bored lmao.
So I used to be really good at answering the asks I got. I wouldn't say I answered all of them, but I think overall I had a good ratio for a long time! And I loved it! I think the asks feature is the best thing that tumblr has to offer as a social media platform (god knows just about everything else sucks).
I loved getting asks and answering them and it's a great way to talk to others in our little fandom bubbles and trade thoughts and insights with one another. My mental health did take quite a few hits in the past several months, and part of that was real life (school, sickness, death in the family) and part of that was bullshit fandom drama.
But it just occurred to me yesterday that the reason I'm nowhere near as prolific in answering the asks I get is because I have always put so much effort into putting disclaimers behind all my meta, walking on eggshells so people won't throw tantrums every time I share an opinion they don't like.
And you know what? That just made me an nervous, erratic person afraid of her own tumblr shadow. The thought of having to do all the work to put ten thousand disclaimers behind everything I say so some asshole won't vague me because I accidentally hurt their feelings just made me not want to reply to anything at all. It's fucking exhausting having to think of every scenario in which people might interpret whatever you're saying (about fictional characters may I remind you) in the worst light possible.
In the end all that time and effort I put into censoring myself—because I try to be a nice person, I don't want anyone to feel bad because of me, regardless of the fact that that's been never my intention—in the end none of that mattered! There's people that have been vaguing me for almost two years now and it's not like I go seeking out this information but it's a small fandom and I stumble over it on another blog or some shit every once in a while.
Agonizing over whether or not some random is going to interpret everything I say in the worst possible faith and have a fit on main about my shit takes and make a block list of people who interact with my posts is just so stupid honestly, and trying to censor myself didn't do me a shred of good. People still regularly call me names and insult my intelligence because of the characters I ship, the meta I write, and the kinks I enjoy talking about. It doesn't even matter if I've been active recently or not, they're still mad about stuff I said ages ago! I can't win!
So from now on I'm just to do my best to break this depressing old habit and be online without being apologetic and diminishing my own opinions, answer asks however the hell I want without feeling obligated to coddle a bunch of grown ass adults, and if people want to cry about it, there's a box of tissues in the corner. Go nuts. ♥️
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chronicbeans · 1 day
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I'm currently looking at Lucifer and wondering how exactly he's going to develop in the whole plot of Hazbin. Not necessarily PLOT development (example: getting past Lilith, getting closer to Charlie, etc.), more like personality traits that are either going to be revealed or developed overtime.
(Okay this got a lot longer than I expected, so um... here's a read more lol. I guess this is a sort of character development inference...?)
I really like the idea that every character in Hazbin has good and bad traits, despite being in Heaven or Hell. For example, we have Angel Dust. He's a nice person, but he does have problems opening up to people (understandable given his past), as well as giving into bad vices and pushing people away. So, we've seen Lucifer's tendencies of neglecting to connect with others, but being a good person and genuinely wanting connections, especially with his daughter.
HOWEVER, I am interested in whether or not they are going to do anything with the fact that he is the Sin of Pride. I've seen a few mention how the other Sins we've seen are a bit of the opposite of their sin. Ozzie is the Sin of Lust, but unlike how a lot of people would probably view the embodiment of lust, he values consent and can make genuine romantic connections. Queen Bee is Gluttony, but does care that people at her party do not overindulge to the point that they get hurt.
However, for many of the Sins so far, they do engage with their sins in their own way. Ozzie still does indulge in lust, just while caring for every party's consent (thank God he's not a Valentino. We love that for Ozzie). Queen Bee does indulge in vices like drinking and partying to what could be seen as a negative extent, with what seems to be her limit being that no one gets hurt. Otherwise, it seems to be fair game for her.
So, for Lucifer, I'm loving how we all see him as a total Smol Bean. So far, he is a total Smol Bean. However, I'm totally anticipating SOMETHING that might be like... a bombshell for our depressed blorbo's character. Specifically, that something may be a few prideful/narcissistic tendencies coming through. Like him trying to get more attention on himself, now that he's finally taken a step out of his workshop and gotten some attention from not only his daughter, but her friends.
He may not be like "YO I'M FUCKING AWESOME GUYS LOOK AT ME" sorta prideful, but maybe more of a "Guys I'm so awful and I feel horrible and I have so many problems give me comfort" sorta... well, not really prideful, but more so manipulative and attention seeking. Possibly without even knowing it, either, considering how him and Charlie seem similar in being well meaning so far. So, if he does development a sort of manipulative tendency in order to get attention towards him, he may not even realize that's what is happening. He might just think "I feel bad and have to complain. After all, I know my family and her friends can help cheer me up!"
I think it'd be pretty interesting, at least. Like, so far, Lucifer is the complete opposite of what you'd expect the Sin of Pride to be. He's depressed, self-conscious, and has probably been isolating himself from everybody that COULD give him attention for years. However, much like the other Sins are still the embodiment of what they represent, he's still the Sin of Pride. He probably still engages, or will develop ways to engage in traits you'd see in pride. So, him using his pre-existing traits, whether unintentionally or not, to get attention would be interesting to see. It'd still keep a lot of his character together while showing that he can still have flaws that are unlikeable. (It'd probably also put into perspective Charlie's line about him only really when he's bored or needs Charlie to do something. Like, it could be that he just isn't good at talking to people, including Charlie, but it could also be linked to his identity as the Sin of Pride if his personality does go this route).
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