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buckygirl-fanfiction · 7 years

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Memory Chapter 2

Pairing: HydraBucky POV X Reader POV

Word Count: 2.7K

Summary: The readers guilt of working for her father, a Hydra leader, finally takes its toll on her and she jumps off a cliff. Bucky saves her from the water.

A/N: This is gonna be a depressing ass story be warned.

February 12, 1991

y/n’s POV

I came back to my little precipice again. This time to watch the sunrise. I had to climb up in relative darkness but i’d come up here often times enough now that i’d come to memorize the rocks and the path. I’d gotten here a little early and the sun hadn’t risen yet, in fact there was no sign of it’s existence on the horizon. So, I sat at the edge of the cliff in darkness waiting for the sky to erupt in flames. The water was dark and reflected the color of the sky above. Even still as the frightening black waters crashed against the rocks, it called out to me. Almost mockingly so. Come swim.

Just as the sky began to give birth to the sun. I saw a glimmer in the corner of my eye. I hadn’t noticed it before, I was too preoccupied looking down at the rocks. But the glint had caught my attention. I looked out to the source and that’s when I saw him. Far enough away he stood on a cliff that jutted out further into the bay. I was just hidden enough that he hadn’t seen me yet. I wondered how he’d climbed out there. When I’d first began exploring my little precipice I’d tried to venture out beyond to the other cliffs but the path had gotten shaky and rockier and i’d given up. But, he was stronger, more agile and he’d made it beyond.

The soldier stood at the very edge of his own cliff looking out at the horizon. His hair was blowing in the wind and he was clad in black. The light of the sunrise was gleaming off the metal of his arm. As the seconds ticked by the curiouser I got. Then he turned and I froze. I could see his icy eyes again, even though the distance. I suddenly realized I was alone with him. Up in the mountains somewhere all alone… with him.

I’d heard the stories, he was ruthless, a killer. I’d also heard the stories of mind manipulation and they were enough to send a shiver through my spine. I stood there staring for a while. Unsure of what to do. Then I bent down, picked up my bag, and turned back to leave. Walking back through the trees I realized it was him, it was his footsteps i’d seen earlier. It was his cliff, no longer mine, and I felt saddened by its loss.

February 23, 1991

I felt so trapped mentally and physically. Like I had no control over anything, my work, my life. My work was the only thing that kept me sane these days. Neurology was my area of expertise and I’d been developing a serum these last couple months. It was the accumulation of years of study. I’d named it Memory. It was aimed at the neural regeneration of damaged brain tissue. I thought it was a noble pursuit, one that wouldn’t harm anyone. I wanted to help people remember, regain motor function, heal themselves. Especially veterans of war who’d experienced trauma in the field. I wanted to give people their lives back. Memory was in it’s last testing phases. I’d been lucky enough to administer the drug to a couple agents here at the compound and it seemed to show promising results. I was proud of it. Was.

My father seized the formula for his own personal use earlier today. I don’t understand why and part of me doesn’t want to know. Memory isn’t weaponizable, it’s not dangerous, or so I thought. But, if he can find use for it maybe i’m more like him than I thought. Maybe I just successfully created something that will go on to potentially hurt humanity not save it. I had to find out what he was using it for.

February 24, 1991

I stole his key card today. His master key. I was planning on sneaking into file storage when I got the chance, to look for clues. A big part of me told me not to look. The other told me to jump, take the chance and take a peak.

I quickly walked past the guards through the corridors to secure file storage. Only high ranking members were allowed in here. This room contained decades of confidential intel on terminated and active missions. If he was using Memory for something it would have to be in here. I checked to make sure no one was following me and then I scanned the keycard and the metal door unlocked and slid open. It closed behind me when I was inside and I looked around the large room. The computers were in the front. But, the old records, the ones that weren’t electronic yet were stored in large boxes piled high on racks upon racks that stretched on beyond. I didn’t have much time. I had to be quick before he realized his card was missing. I ran over to the computer and opened a new search. I typed in, ‘Memory’. A slurry of files came up. Old and new. I looked at the names of the project directors. Most of them listed a Dr. Alford Rinok. I’d heard of him, I just can’t remember where. Just as I was about to open the most recent file. I heard the distinct click of the key card reader from outside. I ran, as fast as I could towards file storage and hid myself behind one of the large racks.

I was done for. My heart was beating out of my chest and I tried to stay quiet hoping whoever it was wouldn’t see me. I heard the door slide open and then close. Then I heard heavy footsteps echo through the room. My breathing hitched and I put my hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds of my panic. The footsteps inched closer and closer and I stood unable to move praying they would turn back or stop or go in a different direction. But they didn’t. I braced myself, closing my eyes, as I knew I was caught.

When I opened them again I saw him, not one of my fathers men, but the soldier. He was just as surprised to see me as I him. But his surprise was brief and the fierceness returned to his eyes. We stood there staring at each other for a second. Each of us unsure who should make the first move. Then I realized he wasn’t supposed to be here either. He was like me, an intruder. I didn’t wait to question him. I knew he knew that I was an intruder too. Instead I walked past him, not breaking eye contact. I turned the corner and walked past the towers of files and towards the door. I scanned the card and slipped through the door when it opened and headed back to my father’s office to return what i’d stolen.

I returned to the cliff that afternoon. I’d been avoiding it for so long. Since the day I saw him there, but I needed an escape today and I knew his secret and I was no longer afraid of running into him. I didn’t see him there and I watched the sunset peacefully and alone. I climbed back down in the dark. I’d been up here often times enough to make the climb in low light. But, the rocks must’ve shifted and I slipped. It wasn’t a big fall, I was only about 5 or so feet away from the ground. The worse that could have happened would have been a broken bone or a twisted ankle. But, before I could find out I felt a pair of strong hands on my hips hold me. They steadied me until I regained my footing and I climbed back down. I knew even before I’d seen him, who the hands belong to. No one else came up here. When I turned with apprehension in my stomach my guess was confirmed. I came face to face with him, the soldier. Even in the moonlight he looked somehow darker. Everything about him was dark. Except those piercing blue eyes. I stood my ground as he looked down at me. I knew his secret now and I was considerably less afraid and more curious now. Curious as to what he would say. We stood in silence staring at each other, each waiting for the other to make a move.

He was the first to talk. I’d never heard him speak before. His voice was deep and dark and smokey, “Careful. You’re treading on a rocky path,” he said to me and I knew he wasn’t talking about the climb.

“So are you,” I replied.

Bucky’s POV

I watched her leave. She was short but the way she stood in front of me proved her fearlessness. She had to know who I was and she knew I knew who she was. I’d caught her today spying and she’d caught me. Under the circumstances i’d expect anyone to be a little weary. But, she seemed confident in herself, in the power she had over me. Just like her father. Maybe she shouldn’t be. I could end it now. She was out here in the mountains with me, no one would know. I could make it look like an accident. Then no one would question it. I had secrets to protect. But, for some reason I knew she wouldn’t tell anyone what took place today. Maybe it was intuition. But, I knew. Especially since exposing me would lead to exposing herself.

I’d started coming out later to the little precipice in hopes of some solidarity. In hopes of avoiding her. I hadn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I watched her disappear down the path into the trees before I climbed up myself.

y/n’s POV

I dreamt of him that night. Of his icy eyes. They were the kind of eyes that linger.

I woke up confused as to why i’d seen him in my sleep. I shook off the thought and gotten ready. I walked into the main house looking for my father. Hoping to get some information out of him since yesterday’s spying session hadn’t gone so well. I found him in the dining room eating breakfast.

I smiled as I walked in and took a seat, “Good morning,” I said.

“Ah good morning my darling,” he replied looking up from his newspaper.

“I think i’m ready,” I say quoting him, “to ‘finally leave my little laboratory.’”

“Ah what made you change your mind?” He asks.

“Curiousity,” I said hoping to play on his desire to groom me to take over a larger role in the organization.

“About anything in particular?” He asks regarding me with a raised eyebrow.

“Memory,” I say, “I want to know what you’re doing with it… I want to see.”

“Ah, are you sure you’re ready for this?” He asks.

“Yes,” I reply.

“Then i’m going to have to introduce you to Dr. Rinok. He heads the Winter Soldier program. Amongst other neurological work.” I try to hide my shock when the words come of out his mouth. But, I have to know, I have to know what he’s doing with Memory. I have to know if there is any blood on my hands.

…

I was in his lab. Alone with him. One of the most menacing looking men i’ve ever seen work here. The evil of his visage matches the evil that is inside him. He explains to me with a grin on his face all the ‘innovative’ work he does here. He talks mostly about the Winter Soldier program. Not about the American Soldier but about other subjects, failed ones. That’s where Memory comes in. For some reason, he tells me, he can’t get the serum to work on other subjects as well as it works on the American. His test subjects are always left with brain damage and he has to cancel them.

“But with Memory. Now I can regenerate any damaged brain tissue from the procedure. Like a clean slate and I can try again. I made a couple modifications to your formula. I don’t need the subjects to remember content or recover lost memories. I just need their brains whole again so I can retry.” I felt the bile rise up in my throat and I tried my best to keep it down. He was using Memory to glue the pieces back together of his failed test subjects. So he could destroy them all over again, “It saves me a lot of test subjects. Your formula is brilliant for it.”

I smile and nod and spend the rest of the day in his lab observing his subjects. I had to see for myself the damage i’d done. The man uses a lot of hypnotic drugs in his procedures. Ones that render subjects in a state where they are particularly susceptible to suggestion. The level of manipulation drives most his subjects mad. Then he uses Memory and within a couple hours they’re new again. Ready for another round of experimentation. I just sit by and watch it all happen. It’s not like I can stop it. But why am I watching it? I finally take my leave. Smiling as much as I can, just like he does, trying my best not to reveal the disgust i’m feeling. Disgust with myself, with my father, with the world.

It’s late afternoon by the time I reach my little cliff. I walk towards the very edge. The one good thing i’ve created is now twisted into evil. Maybe I am evil to. I watch the water reflect the deep blue of the sky and look down at the silver rocks. They’re spaced out beneath me. I could survive it. The fall. If I miraculously miss the rocks. They call out to me like they always do when I stand at the edge. I look back up at the horizon and I take the step.

The fall was short. The water was cold as I sink down to the bottom. Like a cruel joke the rocks surround me as I break to the surface. I look back up at the cliff I jumped from and I see something black, I think. I can’t be sure the water burns my eyes and I close them again. Then I let my body go limp and allow myself to sink back down. When I open my eyes again i’m sinking to the bottom. It’s beautiful how the daylight breaks the surface of the water. Like thousands of little blue glimmering lights. Then I close my eyes. For good this time.

Bucky’s POV

I don’t think she sees me. I watch her climb up the side of the cliff and I follow after a couple minutes later. I watch from the cover of the trees. She walks all the way to the edge and looks down as if she’s contemplating something. Then she looks up and then back down and takes a step. Then she’s gone. I run over to the edge of the cliff and watch her narrowly miss the jagged rocks at the bottom. I see her break the surface of the water and then sink back down.

I don’t know why I jump in after her. After all the things her father is responsible for. Then again maybe that’s why I do it. She seems innocent. She doesn’t deserve to die. Not like this. I pity her I think. The water is cold and I swim to the bottom. I spot her body sinking quickly and I swim over to her and grab her arm and pull her up. I slip my arm around her waist and look around. I find a small piece of land sticking out about fifty feet away and I swim towards it hugging her close to my body. She’s cold. Colder than the water surrounding us if that’s possible. Once we make it to shore. I pull her up and carry her towards dry land. I lie her down on the ground and she coughs, spewing an unhealthy amount of water from her lips. After a coughing fit she finally opens her eyes and looks up at me. Her startling black eyes stare up at me in shock.

#Bucky smut #bucky x reader

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