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#hyperfixation will take us through the winter
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THW Aemond's Kink List (18+)
Pairing: Dark!Aemond x Reader;
Warnings: nsfw situations;
Author's Note: You made me do this. You created this monstrosity. I hope this is exactly what you wanted, you sick, sick ppl
I'm done forever I FEEL SO ASHAMED PLS STOP ASKING ME FOR THE LIST NOW I HAVE 2 NEW REQS THAT MENTION IT 😭😀
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Just as the title says, this is a basic list that dives into what's going on in that (even more basic) head of his.
I ended up splitting this into halves - one that speaks of his kinks when engaging with a casual sexual partner, and the other that goes into detail about what he's like strictly with the reader.
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With Someone He Doesn't "Love"
When it comes to having sex for the simple sake of it, Aemond is a hard dom. He takes what he needs, with little to no regard for the feelings of others, and immediately leaves thereafter.
Although he still likes to give pleasure in his own way, and knows that aftercare is important, he's taking part in an actual war. Which often means he's more needed somewhere else, and is always left pent up and frustrated.
On his partner:
Choking (Breath Play);
Surprisingly sensual - not at all what you'd expect, with how aggressive he is in "The Harshest Winters", outside the bedroom.
Bondage;
No, not with his eyepatch. It takes a lot of trust for Aemond to remove it in the presence of anyone, even more so in the presence of a bedmate. Still, he's not against using the ropes that secure his clothing, or the leathers that go around his waist.
Degradation (Humiliation Play);
It just gets him going - no surprises here.
Impact Play;
Spanking, hair pulling, mark leaving. He's a possessive man, and likes to see the aftermath of his sessions on his willing partner;
Begging;
He'll be as mean and cruel as he sees fit. And the more his lover begs, the harsher he gets.
Sadism;
As seen in "Begging". The bedroom is the one place where he can retaliate on all the shit that he's been through, on all the wrongs that he thinks have been commited against him. Unfortunately, his partner gets to feel the worst of it.
Orgasm Denial;
This is less for the sake of his bedmate's pleasure, as it is for the fact that he needs a lot of time to actually finish.
Aemond hyperfixates on things, and he likes the feeling of finishing at the same time as his partner.
Unless he's close to an orgasm, they won't feel the edge of relief anytime soon.
Sensory Depravation;
Blindfolds, blindfolds, blindfolds. He gets to feel in utter control, and his partner doesn't have to see his scarred face.
Somewhat Roleplay;
If he's been engaging in it before you, he demands his partner to call him their "King", or "Master".
But if it's post meeting you, he just pretends he's doing you, instead. Bonus, he might just choke out your name when he's done defiling you inside his mind.
Edging;
More or less something that's unintentional.
Spitting (?);
I haven't made my mind about this one. To me, THW Aemond is a very clean and up-kept person. He might deem both his seed and saliva to be something dirty, something that shouldn’t be spread around (lmao that's why Alys is pregnant, he just never pulls out).
So if he does spit in someone's mouth, it's more so to degrade them further, or assert his claim over them.
Breeding Kink;
Come on.
We've all seen it coming - nobody's surprised with that one.
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Oh himself:
Edging;
If he can spare the time, and he actually likes his bedmate, Aemond would like nothing more than to be edged like no tomorrow - but on his terms.
No, he won't sub for anyone he doesn't love and fully trust, no matter how fond he is of them.
He likes edging, it makes his release all the sweeter, but he'll still be in full control over what's going on, always on top. He controls the pace, the how's and when's, anything really.
Praise;
He loves being told how good he is, and how well he's fucking his current partner.
When it comes to praise, they can be as graphic and as loud as they want (it's actually encouraged, to be honest). The more he's complimented on his skill and stamina, the more fired up he gets.
Size Difference;
He likes to feel big, looming over someone.
He's always been the tiny, and helpless younger brother. Twice as small as Aegon while growing up, the laughing stock of his siblings and nephews.
Aemond loses his mind when his partner is smaller than him (heightwise - weight doesn't really impact him). It makes him feel dangerous and primal, to be able to manhandle someone as he sees fit.
Overstimulation;
This one's also a "only if he likes his lover" kind of deal.
He'll keep pounding in them, well after his initial release; and if his partner times this well, praising him throughout it, he might just finish inside them twice.
BONUS:
Favourite Positions to do the do:
Reverse cowgirl, doggy style, C.A.T, standing, against pieces of furniture or against the wall.
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But How Is Aemond With Someone He Cannot Live Without?
If he actually gets you willingly in bed with him (consent is still very important to him), Aemond is a service dom, a very needy and clingy top, and he does border on being a sub.
I'll get this out of the way right now: yes, he would MUCH rather you still be a virgin by the time you guys make love. It's not about purity culture, but he does want to be your "one and only", your first and last.
He's so obsessed and possessive over you, that the simple thought of another man touching what's his sends him in a downward spiral.
Still, if you aren't a virgin, and have some sexual experience of your own under your belt, he might turn your first time into a little game: based on how many men have made you cum, he'll give you 5 times as many orgasms.
You think that's a lot? You think that's impossible?
Don't worry, you have the whole day ahead. And you can always break fast in bed.
On Lady Tully:
Intimacy;
He might not look or sound like it, but this man is whipped and very much soft for you - above all else, he craves that pure intimacy with you, and would do anything to bring you pleasure.
If you waited for your first "I love you" to happen while in bed with him, then Aemond came the moment you uttered the words to him.
Oopsies
Don't worry, though. Tell him you're proud of him, and that he rides the largest dragon in the world, and he'll be up and about again, 10 seconds tops.
Breeding Kink;
Obviously. He wants an army of babies with you, so uh... good luck.
Size Difference;
He revels in being able to grip you in ways that would be considered dangerous for others - a light hand over your neck, a squeeze of both your wrists as he pins you down.
He never once applies pressure, and he's far too scared to hurt you.
But he loves how tiny your hands are engulfed in his, how your eyes dilate as his bigger body presses deeply against yours.
Bondage;
If you want him to, he'll more than gladly tie you up and leave you bare atop the bed, completely at his mercy.
No, he still doesn't think to use the eyepatch - but if you tell him to do it, he will.
Overstimulation;
He would do it to you, again and again, until you can't breathe from pleasure anymore.
As opposed to how it was when he laid with other women, he overstimulates you purely for the sake of your own pleasure.
He wants to give everything to you. Since he's a man of few words (and the ones he ends up saying aren't always all that), his actions speak the loudest here.
Edging;
It makes him feel good, and it enhances his experience ten fold.
He wants to enrapture you in nothing but bliss - since edging works for him, it must work for you, too, right?
Multiple Orgasms;
Aemond is canonically pussy drunk. He'll stay inside you all day and steal as many orgasms as he can from you.
He's sure he loves you, and wants to take care of you. To him, making you cum around him is the best way to show you how sorry he is for all shit he put you though at the beginning of your relationship.
Knife Play;
... Dagger play.
He sees his blade as an extension of himself. Again, he would NEVER EVER hurt you, and would be very reluctant to even suggest such a thing to you.
If he sees you even slightly uncomfortable at the thought of it, he'll never ask you that again, and forget about the idea entirely.
But if you are game to experiment with him, then he'll gently graze the edge of the knife over your smooth skin (being very careful to not break in a single cut) and yeah, he will use the hilt to... you know.
Stop, he's actually so gross JSKKSKS
BODY WORSHIP;
He senses any insecurity you may have and makes it a point to make that part of your body his new praying altar.
Yeah, he's overcompensating for keeping you in a dungeon during the 1st month of your imprisonment.
Praise;
Loves whispering to you how good you're being for him, how good you make him feel, how much he loves you.
Marking;
You're all his now, and he lives to show it.
If you're modest, and don't like people staring at your hickeys and red marks, prepare to be wearing high collars all the time, even in the midst of summer.
Oral;
If he could spend his whole life with his lips over your cunt, Aemond would die a happy man.
The first time he ate you up, he immediately came into his pants.
Naww, that's just sad, dawg
Light Roleplay;
If you aren't married yet, he 100% roleplays that you're his wife in High Valyrian.
He actually proposes to you in High Valyrian everytime he cums.
BAHAHA IT'S TRUE
The beauty of role-playing with Aemond is that you don't even have to pretend to be anyone else. He does all the work in a language you already know.
He thinks he's very slick with it, but one day you'll stop abrupty and actually give him a reply, and he'll go completely nuts
Voyeurism;
He likes to focus on you pleasuring yourself with no other distraction, and focus in on your face.
He's been engaging in this ever since you started sleeping in his Chambers, let's be honest: sure, you're not actually doing anything sexual in the beginning of your stay with him, but Aemond finds anything you do alluring.
Brushing your hair, yawning, reading a book - everything gets him going.
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On himself:
Anything.
Okay, there are some exceptions to this rule, but this isn't a joke. As stated before in his inner thoughts, this man will take ANYTHING that you willingly give him.
If you're into hitting him, slapping him, marking him, pulling his hair, denying him release, degrading him, spitting on him, stepping on him, whatever else - he's more than 1000% down for all that.
You could be so cruel to him, and he'd still be more than thankful just for getting you naked.
Since it's coming from you, and he's so "in love", Aemond won't bat a single eyelash at you, no matter what you suggest him to do.
Even so...
Hair Pulling;
It's one of his favourites. He couldn't tell you why, but he quietly loves it when you try to assert dominance over him;
Praise;
I don't need to elaborate.
Edging;
It prolongs the intimate moment with his lady, and it tests his self-control and focus.
Overstimulation;
He sees it as a very intimate experience, and he doesn't do it with everyone.
It's even more different when he does it with you - he sees it as a wordless way to surrender to you, and let you do whatever you want to him.
While he needs to be in full control with a random lover, Aemond easily lets go with you, and enjoys the stability that comes with the unexpected. You decide how everything goes, you run the show with him.
Knife Play and Blood Play;
He thinks it's really exhilarating to be at your mercy. It takes a lot of trust from him to be suggesting such a thing.
Multiple Orgasms;
He's been with plenty other women, and his sex drive isn't as high as you'd expect. But there's something that you do to him that makes him insatiable.
Light Bondage;
Yep. Tie him up a little bit and use him to your heart's content.
Mutual Masturbation;
Mhm.
BONUS:
Favourite positions to do the do:
Side-by-side scissors, spooning, missionary, mating press, legs on shoulders, standing, cowgirl
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jollyreginaldrancher · 2 months
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Realistic Yellowjackets X reader hcs
• Natalie would Dutch oven you
• Van would make you sit through really shitty movies
• Taissa would eat your fucking dog
• Jackie would steal all your goddamn hoodies
• Misty would be chill but your shit would occasionally go missing and she'd always be the one to find them. Which like, okay, get your validation but don't make me late for my grandma's birthday party, she's turning so so old and doesn't have the time to wait around for me to find my keys.
• Nat would have rank breath from all the smoking and the alchohol.
• Van would also have bad breath unfortunately, because her diet mostly consists of funyuns and Cheeto puffs. Her mom doesn't cook and nobody taught her so she mostly gets junk food to fill in the gaps in her meals. She practically sweats McNuggies.
• Lottie would spend so much time using her gentle giant powers for the good of womankind that she would constantly flake on you. "Babe, you missed our wedding" "I had to get this kitten off this tree"
• Natalie would also have a sadistic streak with certain things that don't really matter. Not like consent or anything fucked up like that, but she would tickle you until you cried and maybe even pissed yourself a little. And she would have no boundaries. Like she would follow you to the bathroom like a cat from the first date and she wouldn't take the hint that you need privacy to change your tampon. You'd be trying to hint that you want her out by saying "I need to change tampons" and she would start rooting through her pockets for one because she'd think that's your way of asking for one. Bless her, she's a himbo.
• Laura Lee would drag you to so many church events -as a friend- and unintentionally tease you constantly and be so damn innocent in public that you'd think you're going crazy.
• Shauna wouldn't let you out of her sight. She would be so possessive and suspicious for the drama. She would broach the subject of three ways or opening the relationship and you would think she's asking because she has feelings for her best friend but it's a trap.
• Mari thinks she's funny but her jokes just come off as mean. She's even more vicious when stressed. You'd take her ice skating and her skates would snag and she would curse your mother.
• Natalie also smells but less like funyuns and more like cheap booze and cigarettes. She also doesn't wash her face and while you're not materialistic her beauty is a fluke. She'd be walking around all winter with chapped lips, trying to kiss you and scratching the shit out of your thighs with them.
• Taissa constantly trying to beat you at shit would get really fucking annoying. She would turn random shit into a game too just to get an extra W on you. She'd be like "race you to the curb" while crossing roads and making you sweat and you would say you don't care but she's lowkey just trying to get you to be rougher with her in a roundabout way. She'd be so indirect it would piss you off.
Like "what do you want for dinner babe?" And she would tell you to pick and just shoot down all your suggestions before just settling on the same thing she always picks.
• Jackie would fill your social calendar to the brim. You'd call her, asking her to *1996 equivalent of Netflix and chill* and she'd be like "you mean you're not coming to the party? And you would have to check your calendar only to find out it was an impromptu thing that she didn't even ask you to, because she just assumed you were coming.
• Shauna would complain about other people constantly but still act friendly with them for the most part giving you mixed signals. Like, "babe, do we hate them or not?". It's complicated though. It's always complicated because she lives for the drama tbh.
• Misty's autistic hyperfixations would take over her life and sometimes she would simply stop existing for all intents and purposes. You'd run into her at the grocery store as you're about to hang up missing posters and she'd be sporting the biggest eye-bags and when you'd ask her where she's been she'd go into detail about niche fandom info. Like how fucked up the Hiro episode of Thomas the tank engine is.
• You would be exhausted all the time from all the self defence classes you would need to take to fight off Lottie's other suitors.
• Taissa would definitely bully you like she's not the biggest nerd on the team. She would pick on you for your lunch box meanwhile she studies religiously before every test and one time she stressed so bad before a test that she threw up.
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film-bro-hotch · 1 year
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Victim of a Bad Habit - Hotch x Fem!Reader -- one shot
This is completely self-indulgent and simply because my brain is hyperfixating on Love and Human Remains. Please enjoy
Synopsis: You grew up with Hotch. You always knew him as the cocky asshole who slept around. The two of you were in a weird friends-with-benefits-type relationship. You kept it up through high school and would hook up during winter and summer breaks from college when you were both home. You hadn’t seen or heard from him since graduation, and honestly you hadn’t thought of him Not until he showed up at your job one day, asking questions about a recent murder.
Warnings: smut 18+, oral sex (f receiving), consent king Hotch, flashbacks mixed with pining, smoking, Hotch is an asshole, you are an asshole, I think that’s about it
WC: 3.6k
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You were running as quickly as you could, or at least as quickly as the mix of your heels and Philly potholes would allow. You slept in a little later than usual and had to skip your morning coffee, just trying not to be late. You looked down at your watch. 9:03. Okay, you just had a couple more blocks to go. Maybe your editor wouldn’t notice that you weren’t at your desk yet.
Crossing one more street and taking large strides to maneuver the crosswalks of downtown Philly, you managed to make it to the newsroom at 9:09. The hustle of the place was normal. There was always someone running around, someone on the phone making calls. What you weren’t expecting to see was a couple of police officers and men in suits.
Sure, talking to cops was part of your job as a reporter, but you usually spoke to them on the phone, over email, or you went to them. Cops rarely ever come to you. 
“You’ll want to talk to Ms. L/N. She is the one that ran the story. Her editor should be here soon as well.”
So your editor wasn’t there yet, perfect. But the cops wanted to talk to you. You ducked into the hallway to your office, trying to make it seem at least like you weren’t ten minutes late. You were logging in to your computer when you heard a knock on your door and someone say, “Ms. L/N?”
When you turned from your chair, the last person you expected to see was your old go-to hookup, Aaron Hotchner. 
“Holy shit,” you said in disbelief. “If it isn’t the biggest asshole I know. It’s been a minute, Hotchner. You really know how to keep a girl waiting.” What you hadn’t accounted for, though, was change. His lips were creased in a tight line, and annoyance seemed to be pressed permanently into his face. His partner looked more shocked than Aaron did, though there was some amusement behind it. 
“Excuse me?” his voice made it sound more like a command than a question.
“What? Would you have rather I called you a whore?”
His partner’s snort of either shock or laughter interjected before he could say anything. “You two know each other?” he asked, his voice wavering a bit like he was trying to hold back a laugh. 
“Old friends,” you said.
“Former classmates,” he said at the same time, earning your raised brow. 
“Okay,” his partner said, clearing his throat and shoving his hands into his pockets. “I haven’t had coffee yet. You want some coffee?”
“I would love some coffee,” you say. “Cream and sugar is fine.”
The other agent gave a nod and looked over to Hotch, but he only gave a firm shake of his head. He looked back to you, smiling in a way that told you he knew at the very least that the two of you messed around back in the day. “I’ll have that right out sweetheart,” he said before closing the door and heading down the hall. 
You stood from your chair, moving a little closer so you could lean on your desk, arms crossed. “So, law enforcement?”
“FBI, actually,” he said dully.
“A Fed? Damn, you really made something of yourself…but it seems you got a little boring in the process.”
He bristled at that. “I am not boring.”
“Maybe not boring, but compared to the Hotch I know, this guy is…well, I have yet to see that shit-eating grin you used to always have.”
“People change.”
“That much?”
--
You weren’t sure how, and you weren’t going to ask, but somehow Aaron had gotten the keys to the theater’s rooftop. He was smiling like a fool as he climbed up the ladder, taking your hand and pulling you up the rest of the way. 
“You sure no one is going to call the cops on us? I would rather not have to explain to my parents that I was caught having sex on someone else’s private property,” you said, giving him a critical look. You thought he was crazy when he suggested this, and he probably was. But you said yes anyway.
“Oh come on, live a little, Y/N.” He already had a cigarette in his mouth and was in the process of starting his lighter. When he managed to light it, you plucked it from his mouth, feigning annoyance. 
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you to wait on a lady?” you asked.
“You’re considered a lady?” he countered, earning him a rough shove to the chest, but you were both laughing. 
“You can be such a dick sometimes, you know.”
“Yeah. Keeps the people I don’t like away,” he mused, taking the cigarette from your lips and replacing its warmth with himself. His lips brushed yours, feeling the bump from where his lips were starting to chap. It was getting colder, and he more than likely forgot to put on a moisturizer. It was almost a surprise to you considering he was always preening himself. You pressed yourself into his arms, feeling his stubble brush against you.
“Good thing I tolerate assholes,” you mused before going right back to the kiss.
--
Well, he was certainly still an asshole. Just one that grated your nerves a little bit more. You had a feeling that he wouldn’t tell you what changed, what seemed to make him such a different person. Was it really the job?
“Okay, fine. What does the FBI want anyway?” you asked, tilting your chin up a little bit. You could be pompous too. 
“The recent string of murders,” he started, and you nodded.
“I know. I’ve been covering them,” you interjected, mostly just to get on his nerves. Which you did, it seemed.
“Your article about the one two nights ago, it had some information that came from anonymous sources. We need to know who those are.”
“Ah ah ah, it isn’t that easy, Hotch. I take my sources very seriously. I’m not just going to give them to you.”
“Why not?” he seemed more in disbelief than anything
Oh? Why not? You couldn’t help the smirk on your face. He sounded like a spoiled child who didn’t get his way. 
His partner came back in then, holding two steaming cups. He handed one over to you which you gladly took. Toying with Hotch really was exhausting. “Thank you…I don’t believe I ever caught your name.”
“Hotch didn’t introduce me while I was gone? Seems like he’s slacking. I’m Agent Dave Rossi,” he said, extending his hand. You happily took it, not bothering to look at Hotch as you did it. You knew how bruised his ego was, and you loved kicking it while it was down.
You leaned back against your desk, one arm across your body still and the other holding your cup of coffee. “As I was saying, I can’t just give up my sources, no matter how much you say it is going to help you in your case.”
“And if I get a subpoena for you?” Aaron challenged.
“Listen, I don’t expect you to understand, but anonymity is something we take very seriously. If I grant my sources that, they will get it. And if I get subpoenaed, what do you think is going to happen? Like every other journalist, my paper has funds for this kind of stuff already set aside. I’ll have to pay a fine or spend a little time in jail, so what?”
“So what? Do you not care about justice being served? About protecting the community you are writing to?” Hotch asked, an edge to his voice you hadn’t heard before.
“Maybe if you did your jobs a little better, reporters wouldn’t have to worry about that.”
You seemed to really have struck a nerve then. His jaw clenched, and he looked at Rossi. “We are done here,” he said before storming out of the room. Rossi offered you a half smile, pulling out his wallet and handing you two cards, what you assumed were their business cards.
“If you change your mind. Oh, and thanks for the coffee,” he said as he turned, closing the door to your office on his way out.
--
You only had a few classes with him in high school, and to be honest you really didn’t talk when you saw each other. You both had your circles you ran in, and they didn’t overlap. Sometimes you would give the other a nod in the hallway. It was known that Aaron got around. Some rumored that it was not just with girls, but you didn’t care about that. It wasn’t any of your business anyway.
You simply took the time he would have with you and relished in them when you could. You were usually out late in some part of town or your room when your parents were gone, which was more often than not. You never went to his place. No one ever did.
One of the last times the two of you did anything together, you were both 22 and on break from college. It was just a couple of months away from graduation. He had just gotten into the law program at George Washington. You were lying on the roof of that same theater. You don’t think he ever got rid of the key he had back in high school. 
The two of you had been drinking, and you were sharing a cigarette. Your hands were in his hair as you asked, “You really want to do this? Go into the whole law thing? You can’t exactly sleep around being a lawyer.”
“Sure I can,” he said with that stupid grin, “name a lawyer who doesn’t.” He had a point there. Your free hand was still running through his fluffy black hair.
“I mean it. Like, do you think you’ll enjoy it?”
“Law is black and white. There is a right and a wrong. It’s that kind of simplicity that draws me to it. I don’t have to think when I work, so I can spend every moment outside of it pondering everything like I always have been.”
“And this thing we are doing? Trespassing and all that, right or wrong?”
“Oh, very wrong, but that’s what makes it fun.”
--
That was the last time you saw that devious smile of his. No trace of it was on whatever you saw today. You wanted to know what happened to the man you once knew, the man that had such an annoying grin that somehow managed to make you smile. You shook your head. You had gone years without thinking of him, you can go the rest of your life pretending it didn’t happen.
You spent the rest of your day working like usual, calling sources for your next article, brainstorming new ideas. Even with his business card shoved to the back of your desk drawer, you felt called to it, to him. You had gotten most of your things in your bag, ready to leave for the day. Even at the door you felt you were missing something. You knew what it was, but you also knew you couldn’t leave without it. “Fucking bastard,” you muttered under your breath, grabbing the card and shoving it into your pocket. For safe keeping.
When you got back to your apartment, you threw your stuff on the kitchen table like most days, lounging and deciding that dinner would be something you thought of later, that today was far too tiring to think of what to cook. You stayed like that for a long while, surfing the tv channels and finding nothing that was satisfying. Nothing could seem to take your mind off of him and the way he was nothing like the man you remembered. Against your better judgment, you pulled out the business cards, deciding to give Hotch’s partner a call. 
He picked up after the first couple of rings. “Agent Dave Rossi.”
“Hey, this is Y/N L/N, the reporter from the newspaper. I know it’s a little late, but I was wondering if I could talk to one of you.”
You could have sworn you felt his smirk through the phone. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all. If you would like to come to us, we are staying at the Marriott on 2nd Avenue.”
Just down the street from you. “That would be perfect. 30 minutes okay?”
“Sounds great. Room number is 317.”
You said goodbye and hung up the phone, grabbing your keys and wallet, shoving them into the tote bag you usually kept in the kitchen. You could just grab some dinner on the way back. If you were talking to Rossi then maybe it wouldn’t last too long. You left your house, walking along the sidewalk a few blocks away until you reached the hotel. It was nothing fancy, pretty standard really. You figured people wouldn’t exactly like their tax money being spent on housing federal agents in 5-star luxury hotels every case they had. If only that was true, that would be quite the story. You take the elevator up to the third floor, hanging a left and finding the room with relative ease. You knocked, stepping back and waiting for Rossi to answer.
But the man that opened the door was not Rossi, and he looked nearly as shocked as you. 
“Y/N? What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, his shock turning to annoyance.
“I called Agent Rossi…said I wanted to talk. This was the room number he gave me.” You should have expected this. He seemed to eat up the little bit of the interaction he saw between you and Hotch earlier today.  
Hotch seemed to think for a moment, but finally he stepped back from the door. “Rossi isn’t even here. He’s back at the police station working on paperwork. Just come in and we can talk,” he said, giving you room to step in. It was then that you noticed he had changed into more casual clothes. A George Washington Law School sweatshirt and some sweatpants. He looked like he was about to go to bed.
“Listen, I’m really sorry for earli-” you had started, but he cut you off.
“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.” His tone said otherwise. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. There was a long moment of silence between the two of you, a tension that the other seemed to refuse to break. You were the first one to speak.
“What changed?” you asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Everything about you. It’s like you are a different person,” you would have continued, but his agitation stopped you.
“Jesus Christ, not this! Can’t you just deal with the fact that I’ve grown up and you haven’t!” he snapped.
“I haven’t grown up?” you asked, baffled.
“You called me a fucking whore in front of my coworker!” Well, he had a point there. 
“I know that was uncalled for, and I’m sorry, but I called you an asshole, that’s different.”
“No, it isn’t!”
“I’m trying to fucking apologize, Aaron! Would you just let me?!” That was the first time you had raised your voice at him, and it seemed the two of you had run out of steam. You were both quiet, neither wanting to challenge the words that hung thick in the air.
“What changed, Aaron?” you asked again.
He was silent for a long moment, his eyes not meeting yours. His gaze was fixed on the floor, his eyes deciding that it was much more interesting than facing you. “I was a stupid kid, Y/N,” he started. “I didn’t know what I was getting into. I didn’t think I would care. I saw so many cases go through my door as a prosecutor, and I felt like even though I was serving justice, I wasn’t making any difference. I wasn’t saving any lives. I felt - I was so lost. I went through high school and college coasting, and I was so lost.”
You were quiet as you moved closer, placing a hand over his. You felt his calloused edges, and his fingers brushed over your cuts and scrapes. “Still picking at your fingers?” he asked, finally meeting your eyes. 
“We all have our bad habits,” you said, your fingers finding themselves lacing with his. 
“Mind if I pick this bad one back up again? Just this once?” he looked up at you, and you could feel a part of your past self smile. There was still a hint of him there. You took your free hand, running it through his hair. It was shorter now, parts of it stiff from a little bit of a heavy hand at the styling gel. 
“Please,” you found yourself whispering. Your breath was taken out of you as he pressed his lips to yours, your hand still in his hair and gripping the back of his head as you pulled him closer. His weight pushed you into the plush hotel mattress, still holding on to his hair. You winced a little, his teeth colliding with your bottom lip as he tried to deepen the kiss, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. You could hear his soft chuckle against your lips, feel the way his laugh made his chest shake. You started to move away from his lips, your kisses peppering the corner of his lips, down to his jawline, but he pulled away abruptly. You expected regret, for him to tell you to get out and not call him again. But when you saw his face, you saw that stupid, shit-eating grin he had been missing.
“I think I owe you a little something. For being a bit of a dick, I mean.”
“A bit?” You asked, raising your brow, but he didn’t give you time to complain. His lips were on your jawline now, slowly moving lower to your neck, staying in a few places a little longer, with the intent to leave a mark no doubt. 
He worked devilishly, moving to your collarbone. You went to unbutton your top, but he stopped you. “Ah ah ah, my job.”
Oh, damn him. His fingers were agonizingly slow, going one button at a time, leaving a kiss at each place that had once been covered. When he reached your breasts, one hand slipped to your thigh, the other taking hold of your bra strap. “Is this okay?” he asked, pulling away from his work to look at you. 
“Keep going,” you breathed out. His hand slipped behind you, unclasping your bra with an ease that surprised you despite his known history. He pulled it off your body, leaving your breasts exposed for him. His lips continued their journey, one hand gripping your left breast while his lips toyed with your right. You couldn’t help the high pitched yelp of surprise when you felt his teeth graze your nipple. “Aaron,” you managed, feeling yourself squirming underneath him. You could feel a heat growing between your legs, one that you tried to stifle by keeping your thighs closed. 
Of course he noticed, and you could nearly feel his smirk in his kisses, the way he moved from your breasts down to your navel, stopping occasionally to leave his mark. He looked up at you then, asking for permission to go further, and you nodded. “Your words. Use them,” he scolded. If you were in any other situation, you would have rolled your eyes, but at that moment you needed him, so you gave in and said, “Yes.”
His fingers were nimble as they unclasped your belt, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down, throwing them to the side. Next was your underwear which in his eagerness he nearly ripped. You opened your mouth to complain but stopped as he moved closer, placing your knees on his shoulders and starting the real work. You nearly came undone by his first touch, something he was surely going to tease you for later. One hand was still on your thigh, gripping hard enough it was sure to leave a mark come morning. He kissed the most vulnerable parts of you, slowly pulling you apart like an intricate braid that only he knew the secrets to. You could feel yourself building, and Hotch could too. He pulled away just long enough for you to groan, your body begging for his return. “Aaron,” you called, hearing him laugh from between your legs. 
“So impatient,” he toyed.
“Asshole.”
“You already knew that one.” It only took a few more waves of his devilish hand to bring you to your peak, gripping the cheap, white bed sheets and crying out, gasping to regain your breath. You could hear your heart thumping in your ears, a sound that nearly overwhelmed you when Hotch came back up, grinning like a fool and kissing you. Tasting yourself on his lips, your hands back to his hair and his hands cradling your face. It all felt so right, and for a moment it felt like you had that Hotch back.
“You think we could keep this bad habit up?” you asked, still trying to catch your breath. Hotch just gave a little laugh and shook his head.
“No, I don’t think we will.”
“Glad we are on the same page,” you breathed as you kissed him again.
The two of you laid like that for a while, sharing the occasional kiss but mostly just staying in each other’s arms for as long as time allowed. You still weren’t sure if you would be there come morning, but that didn’t matter. You would be back one of these days. You were both victims of bad habits.
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lylia9000 · 3 months
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Uiscefhuarithe - Underfell Sans X Reader
Yup, welcome everyone to another episode of "Lylia's hyperfixating on a single AU Sans and you all have to deal with it". I'll be going in depth about the Hozier song in the tags as well, so I apologize if you didn't need that info dump, but it meant a lot to me when I was writing it. I had to get out of my seat and scream into a pillow because all of the dots connected.
Regardless, welcome to my first drabble of 2024. A perfect way to start off the year - yearning for Sans with a dash of Hozier music.
To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) by Hozier
Summary: He feels cold for the first time in decades, but it's alright because you're there to warm his soul.
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How would you describe something like this? 
His phalanges brushed across your cheek, soft skin pressing against hard bone and giving it warmth. You were so warm… He would have dared to move his arm that was under you, but he didn’t want to wake you. He wanted to hold you. Forever, if you let him. 
He didn’t realize how poorly his bones held warmth until you came around. Even now when you were pressed up against his body in the bed, his face in your hair and his metacarpals pressed against your skin like he was desperate for the heat you gave off. 
You had told him, in the beginning of winter, that he was cold. You had snuggled up close to him - trying to warm your hands after playing in the snow with everyone - only for you to yelp and pull them away, shouting about how he was cold as a freezer because of the frozen particles of water. He didn’t realize it until then, but he had always been this cold in the winter. 
“Jeez!” You cried out, huffing and puffing into your exposed hands to heat them up with the steam from your own breath. “I know you don’t have blood so you can’t be warm blooded, but stars you’re freezing, Sans! Aren’t you cold??” 
He stared at you, silent for a moment, looking between your silly reaction and hunched over, shivering form and his own hands. “no… cold goes right through me.” Although it was an answer he seemed used to, there was no humor in it - and for a moment it seemed like he was confused or perhaps hesitant about his own answer. 
“Oh it’s fine, you silly bones.” You reassured him, nudging his side. “It’s pretty cool sometimes, you know?” You smiled at him anyways, taking his freezing bones into your own hands and holding them close to your chest so you could breathe warmth into them at the same time as yours. “Heh, you’ll be awfully helpful in the summer after all!” 
You didn’t know it then, but it was likely that was the moment that put the final nail in the coffin. He was yours. He would propose to you eventually - probably in the spring when it was warmer. You didn’t realize what you did to him after all. You could get his magic pumping, sure. You could get him punning a million puns per minute. You could stop his soul short of exploding, warm it up with your romantic glances, and make it skip a beat… but he didn’t think you could make it shudder from the cold.
He’d lived in Snowdin for as long as he and Papyrus could remember. The cold was more familiar to them than any sort of warmth could be. He hadn’t felt cold since before they came to Snowdin… but the feeling of your hands around his - breathing life into his clacking bones - how would you describe it? It’s like asking him how his first ray of sunlight felt when they finally emerged from the Underground. 
it just ain’t something you can put into words, but it could bring you to tears all the same… 
He’s been cold for as long as he can remember. Snow in his fur hoodie, giving the cold shoulder to Papyrus when he grew up, cold to you even, at the beginning. Cruel and violent - like a fire was forever lit under his ass. It was the only way to survive in the underground back then, but then what was that? What was the shiver and the longing for warmth in his soul after you slipped his gloves back onto his hands that day? 
How did he get you? How did he even get here? How many times did he try to stop Frisk from breaking open the barrier? How many times did he try to push you away? How did he get you to stay? To lie beside him and warm his bed? 
He felt your leg twitch and shift, bringing him out of his head for a moment, only to pull the blanket back up to your shoulder and tuck the both of you back in, but it was too late, you’d already stirred from your slumber to mumble and look up at him with a confused expression. 
“Mmm, Sans? Are you up?” 
“mhm…” 
“Why? You never wake up first… are you ok? Can’t sleep?”
He shrugged, still stroking your cheek with fuzzy eyelights. “yer warm…” 
You only chuckled, your hand reaching up to hold his and stop him from petting your cheek raw. “Nah, you’re just not warm blooded.” You mumbled sleepily, leaning into his stilled touch enough to dilate his eyelight. 
“love ya…” 
“I love you too, Sans.” 
He wasn’t sure how he learned how to love you enough to keep you this close to him. With all his sharp edges and cold bones and LV. He almost thought he’d never learn to love someone again, but…
There are some things that no one teaches you. 
#Sans x reader#Sans Underfell#Underfell Sans#my writing#Sweetheart Underfell Sans#friends to lovers#best friends to lovers#idiots to lovers#fluff#yes that's right you heard me ladies and gentlemen - fluff#lylia rambles in the tags#inspired by hozier#ready everyone for the literary analysis for the song? Here we go!#Unreal Unearth is an album that's supposed to be based off the 9 circles of hell from Dante's Inferno#and the thing about 'To Someone From A Warm Climate' that made me go bonkers is that I realized this song is apart of the 'Violence' circle#and Underfell is an AU known for it's violence#and I didn't realize this until half way through writing this fucking oneshot and I lost my mind and started crying and couldn't stop#also Uiscefhuarithe is an Irish term for 'coolness only water brings'#(if you watch the video I attached - it tells you what it means but it's also in the song)#so I built upon that in the oneshot - also referencing that Sans and Pap lived in Snowdin (which is covered in snow and ice = frozen water)#so in feeling genuine warmth and acknowledging that this is his first time feeling it - he acknowledges his feeling of cold#which is why he feels like he's feeling cold for the first time - because how are you supposed to know what cold feels like#if you don't also know what warmth feels like? How do you know it's dark if you've never known that it's supposed to be light?#Anyways yes I am FINE - I SWEAR I'M FINE#I TOTALLY HAVEN'T BEEN CRYING ALL MORNING OVER THIS AND HOZIER AT ALL - I'M FINE#plz plz plz someone else listen to Hozier so we can talk about it and be mentally ill together#drabbles
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hecateisalesbian · 9 months
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The Pride of- July?: A Final Thank You
WOW! I believe we did it! 30 Whole Days, an entire month, full of Pride! I’m honestly astounded that we were able to complete this! And I’m even more flabbergasted with how many people liked it! When i started this i thought only my mutuals and maybe one other would see this but no! This gained almost 200 notes and so many people participated in this! And I’d like to thank them all! And some even gave a few final words and talks. About Pride and Disability!
@outmaww
Thank you to Outmaww for being part of this and participating for the Lesbian Flag Day! You kicked off this project by being our first representative and I just wanna say thank you so much! 🩷
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@theosb0rnway
Thanks Oz for being there last minute when I was trying to find a representative for the Gay Flag! You pulled through and I’m very grateful for that! And for representing the Agender Flag too! Keep being awesome 🩵 💚
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@haystarlight
Thanks Sofi, I couldn’t have done this without you being an amazing bisexual disaster! And also being able to keep me in contact with Human! You are an amazing person and I hope you continue to be amazing 💜
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@solstakao
Let me start by saying that you are the best trans girl ever! 🏳️‍⚧️ I hope you get the boobs you desire lol. Thank you for representing the trans flag and being so funny! Thank you Jasmine ❤️
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@winter-socks
Not only did you represent the Trans flag, you also represented the Androsexual AND the Grayace flag! Thank you for that! And Puff even had a final closing statement about him and his disability!
“Being androsexual is a big part of my identity and what I find attractive. Androsexual means to be attracted to masculinity or just men in general, my LGBTQ+ identity has been all over the place, past few years. But I’ve found myself, I remember looking at pictures on Google that showed masculine people and I feel very attracted to them. Just something about masculine people makes me swoon over them !
I also have autism, self diagnosed. I’ve recently figured this out and have made connections between my experiences and autism through research. I have always been depressed, it seems from what my mom has told me, my family has a history of anxiety. I stim in different ways, experience noise sensitivity, have a hard time with boundaries, and more things that contribute to my autism. I hyperfixate on things for months to years, these things make me happy and people have said I’m obsessed. Which I am lol !! But it’s just how my brain works and I’m happy to have figured myself out, it all makes sense now. :)
Having autism is hard though, I can take stuff the wrong way, especially in real life where I have a hard time finding tone in people’s voices. So I end up taking them seriously. This is why tone indicators are a big thing for me and many others, we need people to use these so we don’t take them the wrong way. And I can get upset over the smallest things such as a noise I don’t like, it’s really hard. I always bring my headphones with me just in case it gets too loud. :)”
So thank you to Puff! You are a gem :) 🩵 💜 🤎
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@iridescentdiscord
Omnisexual AND DemiKING! You are amazing and supported me from the beginning! I’m very grateful you did this and for your kindness! Thank you 💙 🩵
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@mouse-in-a-piping-bag
Kat, my fellow Genderfluid, I am very glad you participated! You represented Omnisexual, Demisexual, and Genderfluid, and even created this amazing art!
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Thank you Kat :} 💙 💜 🩶
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@rainbowangel110
What words can describe how amazing you are? You are one of my best and favorite mutuals and you are incredibly talented! I mean, just look at this lovely asexual art you made!
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Thank you Rainbow 🌈 🩶
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@imhumanguysiswear
My first Mutual and an asexual king! I hope you can return soon to Tumblr! We all miss you! Thank you for doing this :) 🩶
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@dreamondelphinus
I Hope that you and your friend Bella have a wonderful life. Asexuals and Aromantics don’t deserve hate and definitely don’t need to be ‘fixed’. Keep being you :) 🩶
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@boilinghotsoupandcrackers
Your blog is super funny and I love seeing your posts on my dash! Thank you for representing Aroace and genderqueer! You are so cool! Thank you :) 🩶 💚 💜
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@zedleaked
You went very above and beyond with art and talking about your experience with being Aromantic! Your art looked beautiful
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“To break the professional language for a sec, figuring out whether you are aromantic or not is hard, especially if you are not asexual as well. When I was figuring myself out I often found that I never really developed crushes on others and that made me feel weird since romance is so mainstream and talked about and for some reason I don’t feel these weird butterflies in my stomach or something? I guess I’m just weirdo! Sure, I can find people attractive and cute but I didn’t feel that romantic feeling. As a kid I would try and just scan other kids in my class to try and figure out if they’d be a good partner. I didn’t know that there had to be some kind of feeling to get in a relationship with someone. I just thought people would go ‘hey this person is nice and cute, I will be their partner!’ but that’s definitely not how it works. I would find it hard to differentiate romantic and platonic love because I mean… love is love…? I mean some would say romantic love is doing stuff like cuddling, holding hands, kissing, hugging… but you can also do that platonically, right? There’s just that extra step in romantic love that I just can’t see because I can’t experience that extra step. There are moments where I think I feel love but I realise that at the time I was just really eager to be their friend as I get very excited when meeting someone like me but if I really thought about if I would be in a romantic relationship with that person… the answer would probably be no. Some aromantics can feel lonely as they can’t feel romantic love and they don’t have the desire to devote their life to a person, but remember that you still have those platonic relationships and they can be just as strong if not stronger than romantic ones, nothing is better than hanging out with a really awesome friend. If you believe you’re on the aromantic spectrum but are unsure, try doing some research for yourself as there are many terms under the umbrella that may fit you! Demiromantic for example is when you only feel romantic love when close to someone or grey-romantic is when you feel fluctuating levels of romantic love but as a whole barely experience it”
Thank you Zed :) 💚
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@artkittycatty
Genderfluid Partner in Crime and Pansexual! I adore your art and your chaotic and optimistic energy! You truly brighten my blog and im very thankful for your contribution to this project! I mean, just look at how cute this art is!
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Thank you 💜 💛
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@your-bigender-big-brother
Thank you for being apart of this and being educational to everyone! You even made my post even better by explaining even more about being bi-gender!
“If you'd like some further information on the bigender identity, I have a Gender of the Day post here! I also have a bigender masterpost here on my main blog.
Additionally, here are some other bigender flags! One of the most common ones currently being used by the community is the upper left one!
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Want some bigender blogs to follow?
@talking-bigender @bigendering @bigender-culture-is
And as a little bonus, I have my own bigender flag down below, called the sunrise/sunset bigender flag.
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- Your Bigender Big Brother 💙💚”
Thank You 🙏 💚
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@msmoon-and-the-cyberdemon
Thank you for being so enthusiastic about this and being wonderful! I hope your future is bright aswell 💚
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@loud-whistling-yes
Thank you for representing Demigirl and for just being proud!
“Hey guys! 👋 I'm the guest for today's pride of june! If you guys have any questions about demigirl as a gender identity, or any questions about it in general, I'm more than happy to give you my part of the answer! Do remember that everyone sees gender differently, and while there's no "right" or "wrong" answer to gender, I hope my answers might help anyone with whatever they're looking for. Happy pride everyone!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜”
Thank you Ah Wei 🩷
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@demigender-culture-is
Demigender Culture is YOU! Thank you for being in this and representing the demigender flag :) And you even made this!
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Thank you! 💛
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@honeymilkhijinks
A polyamorous pansexual! And a non-binary! Thank you for participating in this and being you! 💜 💛 ❤️
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@jd-leifdeloos
thank you for being part of the Polyamorous flag day. It’s hard being accepted but you being there was very cool! Thank you so much ❤️
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@just-one-more-utmv-fan
Thank you for sharing light to the very unknown sexuality Gynesexual. You even made this!
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You are helping more people learn about it just by reblogging all of this project :) 🤎
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@that-one-enby-ranger
Thank you for representing Abrosexual, a sexuality that I feel a lot of people forget about! You are amazing 💚
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@dejimonkaizaa
You were amazing for this project and you even decided to talk about your life as an intersex person!
“I have a condition called simple-virilizing congenital adrenal hyperplasia, or what’s usually called “classic CAH.” I was born with XX chromosomes and assigned female at birth, and I also have ambiguous genitalia and a hormone profile of typical estrogen and atypical testosterone called hyperandrogenism. This means I have one of the dozens of variations that can make a person what we call intersex. In many ways, I love my intersex body and identity, but much like any other person could, I do not feel my assigned sex is my gender. Being intersex is part of me, but I am also an intersex man. I am a transgender man, but I might fall better into a category called utltergender—while I will transition to be more masculine, I was already born with many of these features. What I would like for perisex (not-intersex) people to understand about being intersex is that you won’t always understand, and that’s okay. We will have bodies you don’t understand. We will have transition patterns you don’t understand. We will have identities you don’t understand. We are not born male or female in a world where everyone must be, and even when we identify ourselves within the binary, we are never truly accepted into it. Yet, to this end, you must advocate for us, because we are not enough to win fights on our own. We do not have communities like every other queer identity—most intersex people don’t know any other intersex people in real life. We don’t have clubs, we don’t have bars, we don’t even have representation at pride events much of the time—we are invisible. Make space for us. If you want to put I in the acronym, know why you do. Know who and what we are and why we are important beyond a quick gotcha against the binary.”
Thank you for being so open! 💜
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@askatrigenderlgbt
“Hey everyone, this post is going to be a bit different. Pride month is nearing an end and I was ask to make a special something for this project I'm in.
I want to talk about my journey with discovering my sexuality and gender identity, along with my battle with my disability battle with ADHD.
I was around 15 or 16 when I started to question my identity. I didn't understand what or why I was different from everyone else around me. I didn't understand why I faked being in love with boys or found myself only falling in love with fictional boys but not real guys. Then I began to think harder. I realized that maybe I wasn't so straight.
As I was finding my way I explored different labels, explored my gender, and eventually finally admitted that I needed therapy for my health.
At first I thought I was bisexual and nonbinary. At the time it felt correct, but time past and I realized it didn't make sense or feel right. I needed to keep looking. Then I identified as lesbian and demigirl, but once again later down the line they didn't feel like me.
Finding your identity takes time, trying things out for a time and seeing what makes you feel you. There is no rush, no impending doom waiting around the next second.
I finally found my gender when I was looking online about different genders in the trans and nonbinary umbrella: trigender.
Trigender is a gender similar to gender fluid. One identifies as three genders, whether all at once- like a mix of colors- or flux between the three- like colors melting into another.
Trigender was the labe that felt right, where I felt myself click into place. I felt like a woman, a man, but in between- nonbinary. It made sense and felt just right for me.
As for my sexuality? I am still into women, but I now use Gynosexual as my label. It is a gender neutral way to say that a person is attracted to women identifying genders or feminine traits. Which I am.
I also figured out I am ageosexual. Ageosexual is a sexuality on the asexual spectrum. Ageosexual is a sexuality where one isn't disgusted seeing anything sexual in nature, able to watch 'adult fun' without being uncomfortable, but still having no desire for sexual intercourse of any kind.
I can handle a sex scene or joke in media, but even the thought of actually having sex makes me uncomfortable and nauseous. I don't like even the thought of anyone I may date in the future see me naked, god forbid touch me. I will hold hands, kiss on the cheek, peck on the mouth, cuddle, hug, but anything else is a no. Just no.
So after finding the labels that fit me and have found myself comfortable with them, I settled on my pronouns next: they/them. I didn't like being referred to as just she/her, just female. I liked the more neutral they/them as it feels better and more like me. It felt right. But everyone around is still having to get used to my pronouns and using them. Learning is still going on, my family no used to my pronouns as they spent years with my old ones.
But my mental health during this? I went to see a therapist at 16, working on my depression and anxiety first. I was prescribed medication to help deal with my issues and given tools to help manage what the medication can't. Medicine isn't a cure for mental health, it just helps manage the issues one has.
After I was given the starting tools I worked on myself and tried hard in high school. I was more energetic, I felt less tired, and I had more motivation. It didn't last however. I began to have issues with attention, I kept getting distracted easily, forgot things constantly, was restless, overall a mess without knowing why.
Then my doctor prescribed me with a medication I recognized my mother taking. It was one she took for her bipolar. So I thought for a while I had bipolar, stupid I know but hey I wasn't thinking clearly. But soon I was diagnosed with ADHD, given medication and tools I needed to manage things, and found myself more relaxed- and given confirmation that I do not have bipolar. I could sleep longer than four hours. I could finally have my thoughts slow down. I even could focus better.
But the struggle wasn't done. You see, during one summer on a boiling hot day, I tried to end my life by heat stroke. I had turned my heater on full blare on the hotest day that week. Then I took a nap, hoping to anyone listening that I wouldn't wake up. I woke up, drenched in sweat, realizing what I nearly done. I turned off the heater and quickly tried to cool myself down. I only confessed about till six to seven months after that happened. This was when I was around 19, probably 20. I had dropped high school before this, the stress of dealing with family problems, moving, and the pandemic just beginning. I wasn't great mentally.
I have also experienced cutting before, something common sadly with people dealing with depression and constant stress. It wasn't a good feeling. The pain of cutting was not what I enjoyed ever, but I am ashamed to say this, but I did like how it made me numb to everything.
In the present day I am much better, not perfect but not a mess, I'm simply okay. I've been through so much and have many years to go hopefully. To end this post as it is long enough as it is I will say this:
Your journey will not be like anyone else's, it's your life and you will find the pieces of yourself in time. You just have to find what feels right and what is comfortable. You may have a hard time with your disabilities, mental or physical, but you have support around you ready to help. There are people who want to help you get better, you'll find them. I know it. Just be kind to yourself, allow time to feel out what it is you need. And allow yourself to make mistakes.
The worst thing I ever did was try to be perfect, to be strong. In actually, it's okay to be weak and to be imperfect. We all need to learn by making mistakes, grow from them. And sometimes we need to let out emotions, to stop trying to hold everything inside.
It's okay to be yourself.”
Thank you :) 🩷
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@notsofunsenpai
Thank you for participating and being a representative of the Pansexual Flag! You are wonderful 💛
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@bloggingboutburgers and their partner @civiart
You guys did so much! Not a lot of people know about QPRs and you did not shy away from the task of educating! You made this amazing art
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And this amazing explanation
“What it's like to be in a QPR? Well, at the very least the QPR I'm in is very comfortable I'll say far most! It's hard to define in exact words to describe the relationship. It's the closeness and comfortable vulnerability of being with someone that you see as your life partner. The more meme-esque way I like describing it is Akhts is my ride or die!! Life is crazy and so unpredictable! It throws hands at ya in anyway it wants to and you just have to figure out how to roll with the punches and face it! It gets hard to face it on your own, so it's nice to build a dynamic with someone where you can share the messiness of life. There's that element of closeness you have with them that's just really comforting and fills your heart in a special way. It's always an honor being able to spend time together with a beloved and feel that solidarity confidence in one another. It's like the dynamic and development for this relationship just lead up to it naturally without the mix of romance and sexual attraction. It's definitely a relationship of what feels right to each individual. At least for mine, I'm really happy being in a QPR with Akhts! The dear really gives me a lot of comfort, company, and honestly sharing the braincell too. I'm honored to have her company and will absolutely prance my adoration for her! Life feels so much more fuller with her!"
Thank you both! I wish you the best of lives! 🩷
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And finally, I’d like to thank my mutual and friend @bloodied-dagger, who made this wonderful musical piece to end off pride month
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Wow! This got long haha! In all seriousness though, thank you all! You all did such a wonderful job and really helped me on this project. But now Pride Month is Over. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be prideful though. The US Supreme Court made a ruling on June 30th saying businesses had the right to deny service to queer people. This is devastating to the queer community and is ranking us equivalent to a second class. We should be recognized as human beings and shouldn’t be made to feel guilty, dirty, or sinful for being who we are.
Now that July is here lots of queers are joking about Gay Wrath Month, but July already has its pride. July is about Disability. Disability is still rarely accommodated even in 2023 and we need to draw attention to that. People with disabilities shouldn’t be looked upon as if they were lower than those without. So this month mine and your challenge is to help those with disabilities. Donate to funds or just simply don’t be a jerk or make ableist jokes. Be kind this month.
All of my Art will be posted in a big post on my art blog @accidentally-drank-paintwater if anyone wishes to see all of them together. Happy Pride!
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vivmaek · 2 months
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🕊️💚
Hello everyyoneee! I’ve missed my tumblr friends. I hope winter has been treating you guys well, I hope that all of you are getting the rest you deserve during these dark months. And if you’re in the southern hemisphere, I hope you’re eating lots of ripe fruit and are soaking up the sun.
Please take care of yourselves, practice peace, and put love at the forefront of all your actions. Right now the world seems so chaotic and ugly, and it’s easy to hyperfixate on what’s going wrong. If you’re feeling hopeless and wish there was a way to do more, just know that each and every one of us has the power to spread joy and positivity. Offer your neighbors a helping hand, get to know the people who bag your groceries every week, and smile at children. Collectively, we can change the world through small actions.
I’ll get off my soapbox now..
Anyways, I’m so excited to go deeper into astrology with you guys. I want to start focusing more on astrological transits and other niche topics. I will of course still post about personal placements, it just might not be as frequent as it once was.
I love each and every one of you, don’t forget it! MWAH😽
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radley-writes · 1 year
Note
Different anon here. Been suffering a pretty significant depression slump that magnified tenfold after a pretty devastating breakup.. my main WIPs were romances but now the idea of romantic love makes me want to puke from the anxiety. It's been almost half a year now, and I feel like I'm in a constant state of mourning, a ghost of myself. Will I ever be able to write again..?
Oh, nonnie. You've really been through it. Come walk with me to the river, okay?
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[image description: a sunlit field, lined with trees, and a pale blue winter sky above]
It's a lovely sunny (if FREEZING) day, so you'll need a coat and a sunhat!
Here we go...
You've been through something horrible, which has tarnished your love for your favourite genre. I'm so sorry that the breakdown of your relationship took writing romance from you. That sounds incredibly difficult, and to grieve that loss is understandable.
Let's head down through the farmland, along the muddy tracks pitted with the hoof prints of wild deer...
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[ID: a dirt road leading between two thin lines of trees, with green fields on either side]
As far as I see it, three options lie before you.
1) push through the anxiety and force yourself back into writing what you used to love, risking making yourself hate it even more and causing yourself psychological damage in the process.
2) abandon the idea of writing romance entirely and focus on something new - which means letting go of something you still care deeply for, and many memories you cherish.
3) wait to heal and hope time will resolve your lingering trauma around romance - but you don’t know how long this will take, or even if it will work at all.
.... We're gonna have to take a detour because the rich city slicker bastards are out shooting birds for 'sport' again 🙃. Scuse me...
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[ID: A copse of spindly birch trees, leafless in winter. ]
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[ID: A fallow field with a green field behind it. The green field is dotted with numerous white fabric flags.]
Back onto a new path! And look at all the flags on that one field.... Fuck any geese who land THERE in particular, huh?
Any one of those options might work for different people! However, I suspect you’re aware of these choices, and for whatever reason, they aren’t working for you.
I can't give you a perfect answer. I can't even promise that you will write romance again. But if you’re ready, I can give you a few ideas that invoke elements of Option 1, 2 and 3, which might help with the healing process.
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[ID: A path along the edge of a field, leading into a group of trees. A river is visible beyond it.]
Sometimes, we start to resent ourselves when we can no longer do something from which we used to extract joy - be this for any reason, trauma, physical disability, end of a hyperfixation, etc. If this is the case, holding tightly onto the past may not be in your best interest.
If the mere idea of writing romance brings you no joy and satisfaction, only repulsion and misery... If you are clinging on to your desire to write romance out of a need to prove that you are the same person you were before you went through this, and that what you suffered did not effect you... it might be best for you to cut that desire loose.
There are so many creative outlets out there. Something else will call to you. You could try to - very slowly and gently - broaden your reading horizons, and write something completely devoid of romance. You could dabble in different hobbies and turn your focus to alternate means of creativity, from dance to cooking to pottery.
And if you sample many different dishes and none of them appeal... There's a fair chance that, by the time you reach that point, you might have put enough time and distance between yourself and the disintegration of this relationship, that writing romance no longer feels like stabbing yourself repeatedly in the chest.
It might still hurt, but it’ll be more like grasping a thorn. A small, sharp pain, but one that isn't going to tear you all the way open.
We're almost there!
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[ID: A muddy path through leafless, ivy-wrapped winter trees. A river is just visible between them]
It’s alright to change. It’s alright to let trauma and loss shape us, so long as we don’t let it ruin our lives and the lives of people around us.
We're here! Let's sit down for a bit.
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[ID: Half of a simple wooden bench, on a grassy bank, pointing away from the camera.]
I want you to sit quietly for a while. Think about what I’ve said, and ask yourself, truly, if pursuing becoming a romance writer again is the best course for you.
If it is - or if you are unsure, but still want to try - let's focus on trying to help you reclaim that part of yourself that you used to love.
Does reading romance also give you panic attacks? How about novels that include romance, but focus their plot in a different direction? Sit down with a fantasy book that has a minor background romance - I can give you some reccs, if you want! See how you feel.
Is there a show you really love, and some characters whose relationship you're invested in? Do those characters feel sufficiently distant from your situation? If so, could you write a few short snippets of fanfic. You don't have to publish them - but if I'm in a slump, writing fanfic often feels far less personal than writing about my own OCs. That might help you rediscover your affection for the romance genre, without cutting out your own heart and slapping it on the page.
Alternatively, could you write a platonic romance? By which I mean, for writing practice, try to incorporate all the 'beats' of a romance book, but focus on a different type of love - that between friends, or siblings, or even a parent and a child. Again, this might help you access the emotional ups and lows of a romance novel and help you hone your writing skills, while avoiding the core issue of a romantic relationship.
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[ID: a river meanders over a flat countryside, reflecting the blue cloudy sky]
Here's our river, winding away. I hope that no matter what you choose to do, you take good care of yourself.
You will find creative joy again, somewhere, even if it's not in the same way you're used to. Of that much, I'm certain. X
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hyperfixated-gvf · 1 year
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Sleeper Sled
On the tenth day of Tropemas, hyperfixated-gvf gave to me:
A fluffy sledding fic where Jake is grumpy!
Christmas Song Pairing: “Dashing Through the Snow" by A Very Convoluted History of Versions and Singers
Trope: Sledding
~~~
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader
Warnings: Some suggestive implications, language
Words: 2k
Author's Note: I'm not quite done with the Sammy fic that was supposed to go out today, so I had to switch up the pattern. Hope you don't mind! Besides, that also means we'll be finishing off Tropemas with 2 very smutty rhythm section fics ;)
~~~
Jake had been grumpy when you woke him up before noon. It’s not like you could blame him — you knew intimately how late he stayed up. But you had plans for the day, and when you were finally able to bribe him with a hot coffee and food on the way to where you were taking him, he finally dragged himself out of bed, demanding a kiss, as well.
“Where are we even going?” He mumbled once you pulled away, resistant to his attempts to deepen the kiss and get you back in bed.
You patted his hip and went back to searching for Jake’s good winter gloves in the box of miscellaneous hats, scarves, gloves, and mittens. “A date,” you said. 
“I could plan a perfectly good date right here, though,” came Jake’s reply from the bathroom. “And then we wouldn’t have to trek through the snow.”
The sink started to run, so you didn’t bother responding. You knew that Jake’s idea of a date at home would be him offering to teach you how to make a dish, eventually kicking you out of the kitchen because the only people he really liked cooking with are his mom and dad, and then watching a movie until you either passed out, got bored, or started fucking.
So, no. You would not be staying here. And besides, trekking through the snow was part of the date, something that Jake soon found out as soon as he saw the “Joy’s Old Sleddin’ Hill” sign sitting atop the gate you passed under to pull into the freshly-salted parking lot.
“Sledding?” Jake questioned, doubt tinging his tone. “Have you ever been snowboarding? It’s much more fun.”
You fixed your boyfriend with an unamused glare. He wasn’t usually such a spoil-sport, but you knew he’d been up in the music room all night, hyper-fixated on a new riff that he just had to get before he got to bed. You’d had this date planned for a couple of weeks now, though, and he’d known about it even if you’d kept the location a secret. Because of that, you had very little sympathy for his late-night habits.
“Yes. With your family last year, remember? When you took me out because you and Sam wouldn’t stop fucking around on the beginner’s slope?”
Jake tried to stop the smile from reaching his lips, but you saw the small smirk take over eventually and shook your head good-naturedly. “Oh yeah,” he coughed, covering up his amusement poorly. “Alrighty. Well, if we’re gonna do it, then, let’s do it.”
Despite the less-than-enthusiastic send-off, Jake reached for your hand when you met up behind the car to walk to the sled rental but before you took off, hooked his newly-gloved finger into your scarf so that he could pull it down and kiss your cheek.
“Trying to suck up to me now, Kiszka?” you teased, readjusting your scarf before leaning into your boyfriend. He must have felt bad for being a sourpuss, but you hadn’t let it affect your mood because you knew he’d come around. And again, he wasn’t always like this – you were willing to give him a break every so often when he let his creative genius take over.
“I would never,” he denied, but you saw the smile. “Why would I when I’m still getting cold and wet on a Sunday when we could have been warm and wet in–”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” you gasped, pasting your wool-covered palm over his mouth, “there are children around!” It didn’t stop him, because you could feel his breath seep into your mitten as he mumbled incoherently into your hand, so you just kept it there as you walked until he quieted again. “You’re gonna get us kicked out.”
Perhaps it was a warning and a threat to you, but Jake just smiled mischievously and sighed, “If that’s how I’m gonna get out of climbing up this God forsaken hill, I’ll give a dramatic rendition of last night.”
You scoffed and glanced over at him, approaching the sled rental, finally. “What– before or after you left me on the bed to go and chase your little guitar chords?”
That certainly got Jake’s attention, and he narrowed his eyes before leaning in. He didn’t really want to get kicked out, after all. “I left you exhausted, don’t pretend like I didn’t take care of you first,” he said, the complaint ripe in his words.
You smiled as you shelled out for the best sleds the little shack had and thought about disagreeing just to see where it got you but, eventually, decided that you didn’t actually want to ruin Jake’s day. “You did,” you conceded, giving up the fight - and he had, you just much preferred to cuddle with him after he rocked your shit than with his pillow as he returned to his one true love. You weren't made by Gibson, after all.
You gave Jake his sled as you made for the hill, and he harrumphed behind you, but followed. Even trudging up the hill, you didn’t talk much, too busy trying not to look as out of shape as you both were. But, heavy breathing and all, Jake began to get a tad bit more pep in his step the further toward the top you got.
As much as he grouched about getting up early and being cold and wet, he was a Michigan boy at heart, and you knew he missed the plethora of slopes around every corner. He never passed up a chance to grab his old snowboard from his parent’s garage when you visited, and he’d disappear with Josh for hours once he knew you were comfortable and had something to do (as if his family ever ran out of things to do).
Sledding wasn’t that much different.
Someone flew past you on their way down, and Jake watched as the snow sprayed up behind them. “Damn…” he muttered, taking another look at his board. “Are you sure we don’t need to go back down and rent some goggles and a couple of helmets?”
“I knew you’d come around,” you said smugly, finally approaching the end of the line of people waiting to be placed and given the green light by the workers. “You can’t stay away from extreme snow sports.”
Jake furrowed his brows. “Since when has sledding been an extreme sport?” he scoffed, still keeping up the fake attitude, even though you could see him bouncing on his heels.
As the line gradually shortened with each person that quickly picked up speed on the steep hill, you and Jake kept up the banter, but it quickly turned competitive when your boards were placed on the snow.
“So what do I get if I win?” Jake asked, a suggestive tone that only you could pick up on lacing his words.
Waiting for the workers to nod that you were good to push off, you rolled your eyes and scoffed. “Anything you want,” you told him, sickly sweet. “But you won’t win, so it’ll actually be what I’ll get when I win.”
Jake’s eyes turned up in a smile you couldn’t see because of his adjusted scarf, but you heard him reply, “Anything you want,” just before the worker told you you could go.
As fast as you could, you dug your boots into the snow and pushed yourself down the hill like a little, snow-dwelling frog. Jake was still hanging out in your peripheral, right next to you, and you began to think there might be some merit to his words about goggles, with the spray that occurred as the hill dropped to be steeper and your sled skidded across pillowy white drifts that felt like icy needles on your face.
Perhaps it was because you had to close your eyes against the elements, or maybe your focus shifted as you felt like you’d fly right off the course and into the parking lot, but you didn’t notice Jake converging in on you until his muffled voice was inches away and he was reaching out a hand to stop the collision.
“Jake!” you squealed, trying to muscle him away from you. But with his efforts clashing with yours, you only succeeded in swinging him out in front of you, so that he was going down the hill backwards and you were the only one who saw the absolute trainwreck of a stop that was evolving. 
The huge snowdrift at the bottom of the hill acted as a stopper, and if a rider hadn’t lost enough momentum by the time they reached it, they’d either continue to sled up and then succumb to gravity, or they would shoot forward into the snow if the sled got caught before it went up.
With your combined weight, either way was gonna hurt.
The sleds slowed as the incline leveled out, but it wasn’t enough, and as soon as you hit the snowdrift, Jake tumbled off abruptly as the nose of the sled caught a compressed lip of ice from where it had been compacted by many sledders before you. And although his hands were ripped from yours, you still followed, giggling all the way.
“That was a softer landing than I had imagined,” you cackled breathlessly, taking deep breaths against the puffy material of Jake’s coat. His arm encircled your waist, and with a quick shake of his head, he dislodged the scarf from where it had been wrapped around his nose and lips.
“Soft because you landed on me,” he accused with a little laugh, digging his fingers into the layers that hid you.
Not wanting to be run over by other sledders, you got up off of him and held out your hand, which Jake took gratefully. “What do you mean? You’re all hard man muscle,” you drawled jokingly. “I was lucky you were wearing that big ol’ coat, or I probably would’ve broken something.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jake snorted, grabbing the stings of both sleds and hauling them out of the way.
He was quiet as you made your way back to the path leading up to the top of the hill, and you gently caught his elbow. “Sorry I crushed you there,” you apologized, not really thinking he was mad at you, but to hear his voice again. You knew he likely just didn’t have anything to say, but having woke up on the wrong side of the bed, you wanted to make sure he was actually having a good time and wasn’t just putting on a brave face for you. “We can go a few more times and then blow this popsicle stand if it traumatized you too much.”
Jake glanced at you, brows raised as he took in your offering. You knew the second the lightbulb went off because he scooted off to the side of the trail and looped the sled strings around his arm so that they wouldn’t slide away back down the hill, and then grabbed your hand. “Hey, I’m having fun,” he claimed, genuine happiness softening his features in a way that made you relax for the time being.
“I know!” you assured, maybe a little too quickly, as anything less would make you feel foolish for doubting Jake’s emotional state. Jake picked up on that and made sure you were holding his gaze before he ran a cold, slightly damp finger down your nose in an affectionate gesture.
He put on his best sweet voice, sleepy and a little raspy just the way you loved. “Thank you for taking the time out of your day to plan this,” he said sincerely as tendrils of winter began to settle between the gaps of your layers now that you weren’t actively struggling up a steep hill and getting your body warm with exertion. “I appreciate you putting up with me more than you know.”
Sufficiently reassured that Jake was happy, you took your sled from his arm. “I don’t put up with you. I love you just the way you are,” you said mischievously. “Even when you wake up grumpy and leave me without cuddles after blowing my back out.”
You took off up the hill, leaving Jake with a shocked expression that quickly turned offended. “I did not! And what happened to ‘there are children around?’”
You laughed as he chased you as quickly as he could with clunky snow boots on. In your opinion, the sledding date was most certainly going to turn out a success.
~~~
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sky-squido · 1 year
Text
USING CELESTIAL NAVIGATION TO LOCATE THE KINGDOM OF HYRULE
PART TWO: The Part With Actual Celestial Navigation In It
*part one is here*
oh yeah, quick heads-up that I’m a LinkedUniverse fan, so I do make a casual reference or two to the comic and characters, but this analysis is about—and solely based on evidence present in—the games themselves. so, general LoZ fans who have no knowledge of or interest in LinkedUniverse whatsoever, this analysis is for you, too! go wild, friends!
Okay, SO! In part one, we came to one conclusion: Hyrule does in fact, slide around gratuitously between games. This is good! Because that lines up exquisitely with my celestial results. Ah jeez, now I have to figure out how to explain what I even did to get these results. Here goes!
Section Three: Explaining How, Mechanically, This Is All Going To Work
Let’s break it down into only the essential basics, the stuff I did in like the first half of the semester (this checks out, because the second half involved using the moon, stars, and planets, the motions of which are… interpreted creatively in the 3D Zeldas released thus far). Basically, it’s time to talk about the noon reduction.
(You can just skip to section four if you want the answers, but I have an excuse to ramble about my hyperfixation and I will take that, thank you very much.)
*long inhale* okay so if you drew a line from any celestial body to the center of the Earth, that line would pass through some point on the Earth’s surface. If you were to stand on that point, your object of choice would be directly over your head. The spot in which you’re standing is called the object’s geographic position. We only care about the latitude of this position (or how far north or south it is from the equator), also known as the object’s declination. On the equinoxes, the sun’s declination is zero—at noon, it passes overhead on the equator. If you were in the northern hemisphere, you could see the sun by looking in the southern sky. If you were in the southern hemisphere, you could see the sun by looking in the northern sky. Does this make sense? If it doesn’t, shout at me in the notes and I’ll draw diagrams. But yeah, this is important: If you’re north of the equator and the sun’s over the equator, you have to look south to see the sun. This is why, if you’re in the northern hemisphere, the northern sides of buildings never see sun—the sun’s always in your southern sky.
On the solstice in June (the summer solstice for all you northern-hemisphere-dwellers), the sun’s declination is 23.5°N. It’s because of the Earth’s tilt, whatever, don’t worry about it. If you’re at 23.5°N (also known as the Tropic of Cancer), the sun is directly over your head at noon, now. Equator-dwellers (and everyone else south of the tropic) have to look to their north to see the sun, everyone north of the tropic has to look south to see it. You’ll notice that when the sun is in the northern hemisphere, it makes it nice and toasty and that thing we call summer. The southern hemisphere is, at that moment, missing their sun rather fiercely and would like to not be so cold anymore. On the December solstice, (winter solstice for the northern hemisphere), the sun’s at a declination of 23.5°S, ditching the north, baking the south, equator-dwellers have to look south to see it, Tropic of Capricorn dwellers can see it directly overhead at noon, etc. etc.
So, as you’ll notice if you’re one of those clever observant types, the height of the sun at Local Apparent Noon (LAN) varies by your latitude and by the declination of the sun. What’s LAN? Great question. Basically, thanks to time zones and the sun’s inability to hold itself to a decent schedule, it doesn’t always hit its peak for the day at 12:00pm by your watch. LAN is what we call whatever time it is when the sun does hit its peak for the day. But we don’t care about times right now, just the sun’s altitude at LAN.
That’s another thing—altitude. Everything in celestial navigation is measured as an angle (even distances; ever wonder why latitude and longitude come in degrees?) which makes doing math and measurements really freaking convenient. Because of this, the height of the sun above the horizon, or its altitude, is measured as an angle: 0° means it’s on the horizon, 90° means its directly overhead, and 45° means its halfway between the two.
So, the sun’s declination varies over the course of the year between the range of 23.5°N and 23.5°S. If you know where in the world the sun is overhead (that’s declination) and you know how far the sun is from being over your head (that’s altitude), you can figure out how far you are from that place where the sun is overhead (that’s gonna give you your latitude). Clever, right? Don’t worry if you’re not retaining any of this—this is tumblr, not a textbook. I just think it’s neat.
So, if you’re following my train of logic (quite a feat, as I’m notoriously convoluted), this all means that if you know how high the sun is in the sky in a Zelda game, you can figure out at what latitude the game takes place! Kind of. We also need to know the time of year, which will tell us what the sun’s declination is. If the sun in a given game passes directly overhead at noon, we could fall anywhere in that 47° band between the tropics, depending on the time of year.
There are two problems here: firstly, how do we measure the altitude of the sun—Zelda items are very cool but none of them are sextants (sextants are basically just really fancy protractors for measuring angles in the sky) and secondly, how do we account for the fact that we don’t know what the declination of the sun is?
The first solution is honestly rather simple. We use shadows. Sun hits Link, sun hits ground, line from Link’s shadow’s head to Link’s head points to sun. You’ll see plenty of these diagrams later, so I won’t bother explaining all of it here.
The second solution is more finicky, took me weeks to figure out, and I’m still not entirely sure how it works, but I brute-forced it with my Nautical Almanac, Excel, and several hours of tedious number-wrangling. Because, while 3D Zelda games understandably make no attempt to accurately model the movement of the moon and stars (and don’t even include planets), the sun gives us another clue.
I don’t know how many people know this, but “the sun rises in the east and sets in the west” is actually an approximation. Contrary to what the 3D Zeldas would have you believe, the sun does not, in fact, rise at 090°T (directly due east) and set at 270°T (directly due west) every single day of the year. It varies, sometimes rising north of east, sometimes rising south of east. There’s an equation that takes your latitude and the declination of the sun and calculates how far away from east and west your sunrise and sunset are, but that’s not actually useful here, because, as I alluded to previously, Zelda games don’t account for this. Fortunately, there’s another clue! I wonder if any of you are mentally shouting it at me right now. Spoiler alert: It’s the length of day and night! Is day longer than night? The sun’s closer to you (northern declination, which means northern hemisphere summer). Is night longer than day? The sun’s farther away from you (southern declination, which means northern hemisphere winter).
The really really nice thing about using the sun’s altitude at LAN and the length of the day and night is that between the two of them, we have almost all the information we need to get a solid fix on when and where these games take place. And the second nice thing about this is that, unlike the sun always rising and setting exactly due east and west, the sun’s noon height and day length vary appreciably and reasonably between games! …mostly.
To compile all this nonsense into something practical, here’s the plan: we crack open a 3D Zelda game, wait for the sun to rise and then we start a timer. See if the sun, after rising in the east, scoots to the north or the south or heads straight overhead. Now we know what hemisphere we’re in (give or take). Wait until LAN (the sun is always either directly due north or due south during LAN, because it rises in the east and sets in the west and it’s all symmetric and stuff) and then we snap a picture of our boy and his shadow. Wait until sunset and then lap the timer. Spend the night cycle screaming over how screwed up the moon and constellations are, then bop the timer once the sun rises. Now we know how long the day/night cycle is and what fraction of that day is spent in the sunlight. We do math to figure out how many hours long the day and night would be if the day/night cycle were actually 24 hours long. Then we grab that picture we snapped at LAN, literally just measure the angle with a digital protractor because trying to take the distances and do trig is way too much work and honestly probably less accurate, and then BAM, we’ve got everything we need to massively narrow down our game to a specific latitude and one of two possible dates. I say two possible dates because the sun hits a given declination twice a year—once between the equinox and the solstice, and then again when it doubles back to head to the next equinox. If that doesn’t make sense, think about the fact that the day before the solstice and the day after the solstice are both the same length. Cool? Cool.
Alright, let’s see what happens when we actually try this!
 Part Four: Finally Getting to the Gosh Darn Freaking Point of All This
Sorry Leg, Four, and Rulie, but your games aren’t going to be very helpful here cuz we get to see neither the sky nor any pronounced shadows cast by stuff in the sky, so you’re off the hook.
Of the remaining Zelda games, Termina doesn’t actually take place in this dimension, but hey, maybe it’s somewhere neat! We might as well.
Okay, so we’ve got six canon 3D Zeldas. (Yeah, sorry both Hyrule Warriors’s (even though one of you is apparently canon), I couldn’t be bothered to actually boot you up and start measuring angles—doing these ones was enough work already and you don’t even have day/night cycles).
Of the six Zeldas I am using, all of them have day/night cycles except for one, Skyward Sword. As much as I’d like to slap it on the pole and say the entire game takes place near the solstice, celestial nights do in fact demonstrably exist, they’re just not looped into the gameplay, so we’ll have to figure something out.
Of the five remaining Zelda games, two of them feature in-universe clocks—which isn’t actually all that useful anyway, since longitude is way more arbitrary than latitude and I don’t know where Hyrule keeps its prime meridian—and those are Breath of the Wild and Majora’s Mask. The final three Zeldas—Wind Waker, Ocarina of Time, and Twilight Princess—have day/night cycles that just loop evenly along time spent in the overworld, which is handy.
Okay, so let’s do this!
Ocarina of Time: Our day lasts 2 minutes and 40 seconds and our night lasts 1 minute and 20 seconds. The full day/night cycle takes 4 minutes. 2 minutes and 40 seconds is actually exactly two-thirds of 4 minutes, so we can just apply that to 24 hours and BAM, we get a 16-hour day and 8-hour night. Those of you living in Canada, Northern Europe, and Patagonia are familiar with this phenomenon. And, when Link is both a child and when he’s an adult, the sun’s altitude at LAN is 70°. 
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Now let’s plug these two data points into the chart I bruteforced! Isn’t she pretty? I love her
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Okay, so it’s kind of just outside the range of what’s possible—for a day that long to happen, you have to be pretty far from the equator. But, when you get that close to a pole, the sun doesn’t get all too high in the sky. We can give Nintendo a few degrees of wiggle room, though, and put Ocarina of Time on the summer solstice (June 21st) at 47°N. Wow! And those seven years he’s asleep for are exactly seven years because it’s still the solstice when he wakes up. 47°N is, for context, about the latitude of Seattle (Washington, USA), Munich (Germany), and Ulaanbaatar (Mongolia).
This is the most straightforward of all the Zelda games we’re going to cover. Majora’s Mask is exciting because Termina is a hellhole so we’ll skip to…
Wind Waker: Day: 5.5 minutes. Night: 4.5 minutes. Full cycle: 10 minutes. If 10 minutes became 24 hours, 5.5 minutes would become 13 hours and 12 minutes! The sun at LAN gets up to 54°
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 Now let’s plug that bad boy in—I’ll just use the version of the chart with all the games already on it to save space (sorry for the spoilers, I know you must be heartbroken).
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So, that puts Wind Waker at a comfy 44°N in either early April or September. Wondering where those dates came from? Every little dot on this chart is a data point, and every one of those is from the 21st of a month, either March (the spring equinox), April, May, or June (the summer solstice (in the northern hemisphere)). Then you can just interpolate between them. So if Wind Waker lands between my solstice dot and the one next to it, it’s near the solstice, but on the summery side, so very early September or early-mid April. No Zelda games have nights longer than days, but if that were the case, you’d just read the X-axis’ “Length of Day” as length of night and the points to the far right would represent the winter solstice instead of the summer one. Don’t worry if this doesn’t make sense to you—this barely makes sense to me and I’m the one who made it.
But now we’ve gotten ourselves in a little pickle—is it April or September? You could use whatever in-game clues you’d like to try and figure this out, or research the prevailing winds and ideal sailing seasons at the relevant latitude, but I’ll be going off of celestial cues to the best of my ability, so here goes!
April. It’s April. Wind’s birthday is probably like April 9th or something and I like that a lot. Fits his vibes. How did I figure this? Well, let’s start by taking a look at the night sky:
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Yeah, okay, it’s fricked. I’m not gonna get into into why the moon is so bad in every Zelda game, but this article does a good job of explaining it. All the nonsense that happens in there applies to Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, too—Ocarina of Time doesn’t have any moon phases, which is probably a good thing. Skyward Sword has its own issues and you don’t need me to tell you that the moon in Majora’s Mask is a problem.
Orion, however, offers us a clue. This little lad pops up in Wind Waker, Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, and for some reason, Majora’s Mask. I couldn’t find him in Ocarina of Time’s sky, but I think I found Cassiopeia and the Summer Triangle. It’s not like any of this matters that much, cuz the stars are fricked in all the games and positioned in direct contradiction to the sun and also each other, but if we have two dates and we’re just trying to pick between them, we might as well give Orion his time in the spotlight.
Again, I’m not sure how many people know this, but the stars move over the course of a year and over the course of a night. They move a lot every night (about sixteen degrees an hour—just a little faster than the sun), and, since they’re speedy little fellas, they get just a little further along their path every night. This means—and I’m really sorry to all the fanfic authors who use this as a plot device in their fics—that you can’t just look up and know where and when you are. If you know when you are (exactly, like in time to the minute), you can guesstimate the where, and vice versa. My final project for this class was actually trying to see if I could figure out both when I knew neither, and the answer is yes, but it takes a lot of work and finagling and also you need to know what year it is and have a lot of celestial information about that year in particular. If any of you suddenly have a hankering for a fic in which the LinkedUniverse boys freak out over being celestially disoriented from both the time and location changes, stay tuned ;)
Okay, so my point is that if the stars are just up there, frozen in the sky, like they are in all the 3D Zeldas, it gets tricky to figure out what time of year it is. I mean, we could just… assume these are their midnight positions? Spoiler: it doesn’t actually matter because the stars are all fricked to heck anyway. We just need one little pointer to try and figure out which of the two possible dates we ended up with.
Slight tangent, but of all the constellations, why do they insist on putting Orion of all people in all their games. He’s a winter constellation! All the Zelda games take place in or near summer! I mean, yes, he’s a summer constellation for the southern hemisphere, but most games don’t take place down there! Does Nintendo have some sort of personal beef with Altair, Vega, and Deneb that I don’t know about? Are they a joke to you??
*cough* Anyway. Orion in Wind Waker is visible in the southwestern sky. Were it September, Orion would rise pretty late in the night, coming up in the east, and he’d scoot his way through the southern sky, but just after he crosses the meridian (due south) and is about to head into the southwestern sky, the sun rises and we can’t see him anymore. That’s no good! How about April? Well, yeah actually! The sun sets, and, blinking into view on the meridian is Orion, scooting through the southwestern sky before eventually setting at about midnight. So, Wind Waker probably takes place in early April at a latitude of 44°N!
But Squido! I hear you shouting, doesn’t the game take time for Wind to beat? And isn’t Hyrule big enough to span multiple lines of latitude? You were just talking about how big it was in part one of this post series! You can’t seriously be suggesting that the entire game takes place on a single day at a single latitude! And to that I say, you are, indeed, correct. This measurement can’t possibly apply to all of Wind Waker, just as my previous assessment can’t possibly apply to all of Ocarina of Time.
My solution? Hand-wave it. Seriously, Nintendo is not programming a fully accurate year-long celestial cycle that tracks the number of in-game days since you started and changes the positions of the stars and everything by your latitude. That would be badass, but hardware limitations are a thing and Nintendo has its priorities (somewhat) straight. We can say my calculation represents the starting point in time because I still like Wind having an early April birthday and this gives him the whole summer to adventure around while the daylight hours are long. We can say the latitude in question is, I dunno, towards the top of the map. There’s palm trees around, so I hesitate to put us any further north than the 44°N I calculated. That is about the latitude of Toronto (Canada), Milan (Italy), and Sapporo (Japan) after all. Maybe that’s the upper bound of the map. I honestly don’t think it’s that important.
Twilight Princess: We’re old hats at this by now! Day: 8 minutes. Night: also 8 minutes. We’ve got ourselves an equinox—12 hours of each! LAN altitude is 55°, so that puts us at a lovely 35°N in either late March or September. 
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Orion is in the southeastern sky so, as I said in the Wind Waker portion, that would make sense in September. So it’s September 21st! It find it fitting that a game about the balance between light and dark takes place at the time of year when light and dark are perfectly balanced. This latitude, for context, is about the same as Charlotte (North Carolina, USA), Albuquerque (New Mexico, USA), Tehran (Iran), and Osaka (Japan). I always knew he was a southern boy.
Breath of the Wild: Yeah, I was going in chronological order by release date, but Skyward Sword doesn’t have a day/night cycle and that complicates things, so I’ll just do Breath of the Wild now while we’re in the groove and—hey, isn’t that spunky! The sun and moon pass through the northern sky, did you ever notice that? That means this game takes place in the southern hemisphere! And not just any ol’ southern hemisphere latitude, it freaking commits. I mean, you ever notice how long those sunrises and sunsets always seem to last? How the game seems to draw out dawn and dusk as much as possible to minimize how much time you spend trying to find your way around in the dark? Well, that’s because Breath of the Wild has a seventeen hour day! How exciting! The sun rises at 0400 (4am) and sets at 2100 (9pm). Its LAN altitude is a groovy little 43°, leaving us at a latitude of 63°S in early either February or November (this is the southern hemisphere, so these are summery months now).
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(oh yeah, my Switch is modded so I can play as Zelda instead of Link—it’s called Zelda’s Ballad and it’s pretty sick. My awesome little sister set it up for me :3)
And wow, if 63°S isn’t an exciting latitude. That’s level with *checks notes* Ross Island, Antarctica!! Wait, what? Yeah, Breath of the Wild takes place in Antarctica, apparently. I wonder if the Sheikah tech holding the moon in place is also responsible for the climate control.
But yeah, I looked real hard, and found something that I thought might be Orion, but I’m honestly not convinced. If it were him, he’d be in the western sky, which would check out for February but not November. The trees in Akkala have red leaves, which could mean fall (which, in the south, would make it February), but then again, I hesitate to take ecological cues from trees that are apparently growing in Antarctica. A spring month fits with the themes of the game—rebirth, life rising from desolation—and that would mean November. I dunno, this one’s up to the Zelda Lore Afficionados.
Majora’s Mask: Yeah, you know it’s all going to hjeck when I put Skyward Sword off because the alternate dimension in which the moon is crashing into the planet and you’re forced into a time loop is easier to do celestial navigation to than Skyward Sword is. Here’s the scoop:
Sun rises and sets at 0600 and 1800 (6 am and pm) so that’s another 12 hour day. But the sun is really overhead-y. Like, 80° overhead. That puts us in the tropics, so there’s actually a few latitudes and dates we could be at. We could be at 10°N on the equinoxes—in late March or September—or we could on the equator, 0°N, in mid April or August. This is pure conjecture, but I feel like the equator is oddly fitting for this game. A liminal space between hemispheres, where the normal rules don’t always apply…
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But, when I was looking for other clues, I found something very fun. Okay, so you know how I said the sky is fricked, right?
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Like, okay, we have some familiar friends, but you can see that they’re all screwy. The angle between the Big Dipper’s pointer stars towards Polaris and Orion are an acute angle in Majora’s Mask and an obtuse angle in real life. And why are they so close to each other?! It’s just… so weird. But anyway, here’s where it gets funky. The sun passed to our south at LAN, so we know we have to be north of it, though just barely. We’re either on the equator or north of it but then… Orion is to our north. Orion is directly over the celestial equator, which means he’s like the sun on the equinox—if you have to look north to see him, you’re in the southern hemisphere. So we must be in the southern hemisphere, even though I just said we were in either in the northern hemisphere or on the equator. As if that wasn’t bad enough, if you look at the Big Dipper’s orientation, the pointer stars that point towards Polaris are pointing over our head! Even if the star I circled isn’t actually Polaris, the real Polaris would have to be somewhere around there. Which means, since Polaris is the pole star and the whole point of it is that it’s directly over the north pole, to have Polaris directly over our head means we’re on the north pole. We are in the southern hemisphere and on the equator and on the North Pole. No wonder the moon got sick of us and wanted us gone.
Speaking of the Big Dipper and Polaris real quick, Wind Waker actually has a refreshingly accurate depiction of them. The Big Dipper is angled a little funny for this time of year, but eh, it all works out. You can see that the direction that the pointer stars are indicating that Polaris is in is actually to the north! That’s pretty neat! Polaris is also at about the right height, give or take, that it should be for the latitude we calculated. So hooray for Wind Waker!
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  Skyward Sword: So. Uh. This went downhill very quickly. I was like “hey, maybe the sun is just frozen in its LAN position cuz it doesn’t move, right?” WRONG. If it were LAN, the sun would be directly due north or due south. But NOPE, it’s to the southeast. That means its still morning. At least, when we’re in Skyloft. When we go to Faron, the sun’s due west. Eldin? Southwest! Lanayru? North of west. But wait, you may be thinking, this is handy! We get a few snapshots over the course of a day, and we can put them together to get a feel for what a day looks like here, right? WRONG!
I tried that. You know what I got?
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THAT’S NOT HOW THE SUN WORKS!!!! That looks nothing like either a sine wave or a parabola. But I was like, you know what, maybe it’s okay, maybe my puny mortal mind cannot comprehend this. Let’s let Excel work its magic and give me a parabola.
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Okay, that’s not too terrible, we’ve got an LAN height of like 55°, which is workable. Hey, now that I think about it, what if we extended this parabola to find out where the altitude is zero! We’d basically get the compass directions in which the sun rises and sets, and I mentioned earlier that I can use that to calculate latitude and declination! So let’s just extend this little parabola here…
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nOPE! Here, let me try to explain why this is so bad. You could make a chart where you graphed the sun’s altitude on the Y-axis and the sun’s azimuth, or the compass direction you’d have to face to stare straight at it, on the X-axis. You’d have a graph that intersects the X-axis twice, once at near 090°T and another at somewhere around 270°T. When it gets to the meridian, or 180°T, that’s where your peak, or LAN, would be. This graph does not do that. The sun is modestly in the sky to your north. The sun climbs, passing to your east, and then to your south. It hits its peak just after passing the meridian (that’s not how the sun works?? That’s not how any of this works?!??) and then begins to fall a little as it slopes to the west. It passes west, though, scooting through the northwestern sky before passing north again and continuing to circle towards the east, gradually making its way down to the horizon just before completing its second full rotation around the entire sky.
I joked briefly before about Skyward Sword being at the north pole in the summer so the sun never sets, but that actually seems to be the case?? At latitudes like that in the summer months, the sun can do a lap or two around the sky before touching the horizon. This wouldn’t be a huge problem, if for the fact that you can sleep until nightfall. Which could mean Link passes out for anywhere from a full day to a number of months. Does daytime come back around again? We’ve returned to another one of these strange infinite days, which means that Link has slept for approximately ONE ENTIRE YEAR. I know everyone calls him a sleepyhead, but that’s a bit much, don’t you think?
Furthering my hypothesis that Skyward Sword takes place uncomfortably close to the North Pole, there’s Polaris! Nice and high in the sky, so we must be close to the place where it is overhead—the North Pole. BUT WAIT! What direction is Polaris in? It couldn’t possibly be to the north, could it? No, the north star? In the north?? No, Skyward Sword got it right when it put Polaris IN the SOUTHEAST?!!??!!
Orion is just vibing up there at if we’re comfortably close to the equator, but no, that can’t be the case.
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ALSO! I’ve been ignoring the moons cuz they’re all wonky, but THE MOON IN SKYWARD SWORD IS DIRECTLY DUE NORTH!
WE ARE NEAR THE NORTH POLE AND THE MOON IS TO OUR NORTH. For those of you unaware, the moon tends to stick to the same path as the sun, just that what the sun does in a year, the moon does in a month. The sun is never, ever, ever overhead at the North Pole, SO NEITHER SHOULD THE MOON BE!
The only possible explanation?
SKYWARD SWORD TAKES PLACE IN TERMINA.
You ever notice just how big the moon is in Skyward Sword? Yeah. Yeah, me too.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
To summarize: Ocarina of Time: 47°N, Summer Solstice (June 21st) Wind Waker: 44°N, early April Twilight Princess: 35°N, late September Breath of the Wild: 63°S, November or February Majora’s Mask: 0°N (maybe), mid April or August Skyward Sword: Who Freaking Knows
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marycontraire · 1 month
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19 and 22 for the writing ask?
22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?
I think there's kind of a Doylesian and a Watsonian answer. From the Doylesian perspective, I definitely have a tendency to hyperfixate, and also my job can feel pretty draining, so during heavier work seasons I don't always want to pick up a new book and have to meet new characters -- revisiting old favorites feels like an easier lift. From a Watsonian perspective... THOSE ARE MY BLORBOS!!! They never get old! And different fics emphasize different aspects of them in fun ways!
I do realize I am misusing those terms since I'm not a fictional character but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.
The Paris through which Lew led Dick after they disembarked from the train at the Gare du Nord and boarded the Metro was vastly altered from the Paris Lew remembered from his youth: the buildings seemed cold and ominous, the people thin and shabbily dressed, and the railway station choked with Americans.  Not, of course, that the Paris of Lew’s youth hadn’t been teeming with Americans as well, but those were wealthy expatriates, and they hadn’t announced their presence with military uniforms. 
There was a time when Lew had been a master of blending in and making himself appear French.  Now he was in uniform himself, invisible to the locals in a very different way. 
“Where’s the hotel?” Dick asked as they emerged from the Metro station into a cold, drizzly night.  “It isn’t going to be Nixon standards of fancy, is it?”  Paris’s street lamps had been extinguished in deference to the Luftwaffe, but even in the darkness, Lew could see Dick scrunching his nose in distaste.  
“Ryer standards of fancy, which is far worse,” Lew corrected smugly.  “They like to pretend they’re European.  But we’re not going to a hotel.  We’re going to my grandmother’s house.”
“Your grandmother lives in Paris?” Dick asked incredulously.  Lew could feel his surge of interest; he had a strange fascination with Lew’s childhood that Lew found equal parts unsettling and charming.  Since their disagreement in Holland, Lew had been observing him with a level of attention he usually paid only to his work.  Although Dick’s thus-far unwavering interest reassured him, Lew couldn’t help but expect that he would sooner or later unearth some part of Lew’s character or history that would put him off.
“Lived.”  Lew clarified.  “And not exclusively.  She spent all summer in Èze—that’s on the Riviera, near Nice—and for a while she had a second husband who was English.  He was a member of Parliament.  She used to get dragged back there in the winter, but she didn’t like it much, so she kept a house in Paris to run off to.”
“She got out before the occupation?” Dick asked.  
“Barely,” Lew said.  “She was ill by then.  Mother came and collected her in the fall of thirty-eight, and she died a few weeks later.  Allegedly from her illness, though personally I suspect she might have suffered a heart attack from the horror of being reminded that she was, in fact, an American.”
Dick, who saw absolutely nothing wrong with being an American, chuckled.
As Lew shepherded him along a familiar but newly-deserted route to Grandmére’s house, he felt a sudden sharp awareness of a reversal in their roles.  Since the start of the war, he’d been accustomed to following Dick, occupying a place just beyond his left shoulder, where he was out of his way but within reach should Dick need anything.  Now it was Lew who was leading Dick along, placing a hand gently on his back to steer him as he led Dick from the Opera stop in the 9th into the 2d arrondissement.  Dick, who had no memories to which he could compare the dark, quiet streets, took them in with a gaze that suggested that he was half-impressed, half-overwhelmed.  
“So,” he said at length.  “On the boat back from Normandy—”
“Ship, Dick; it was a ship.”
“Alright, on the ship back from Normandy you told me you’d be a terrible Paris tour guide and that you hadn’t been here since you were young.”  Dick was maintaining a veneer of Pennsylvania politeness, but he was fishing for information nevertheless.
“I haven’t been here since I was nineteen,” Lew said.
“Your grandmother lived here,” Dick objected.
For a brief moment, as Dick’s eyes regarded him with sharp intensity and as the light rain misted down on them in the blackout-protocol darkness, Lew was transported back to the street in Aldbourne outside that pretty widow’s house after Dick had dismissed her and had declared in his quiet but determined Dick way that he wanted Lew for himself. 
Lew had opened himself up to this line of inquiry.  He could have booked them into a Red Cross hotel, but he’d wanted to give Dick the weekend of peace and privacy he so desperately needed.  If he were being honest with himself, Lew needed it, too.  It was counterproductive to regret that it inevitably meant giving Dick a far more thorough glimpse behind the curtain than he’d previously allowed him.
“What can I say?” he said, taking care to keep his tone casual.  “I was still in intelligence back then.  I had to cultivate an aura of mystery.”
From this ask meme: Yet another writing ask (Still taking prompts!)
Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?
Anything that you'd like to write but feel like you're unable to?
How would you describe your writing style?
Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?
What's a tag you never want to use for your works even when it applies?
What's your ratio for rating your works?
Your favourite ao3 tag.
How slow is a slow burn?
Thoughts on cliffhangers.
Top three favourite fic tropes.
Three tropes that are fine but overrated.
If you write in more than one language, what's the difference?
Rate your worldbuilding skills from 1 to 10.
Write and share the first sentence of a new fic. Just that.
What's your favourite plotless fic you have written?
Are one-shots really underrated?
Past or present tense? Why?
First, second, or third person?
Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.
Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?
Can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? If you can, what's your secret?
What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?
Dialogue or description? Why is the other one so hard?
Thoughts on flashbacks/flashforwards.
Is writing the whole thing beforehand better or worse than writing it as you go?
What would you describe as OOC?
Do you agree that one shouldn't start a story with a piece of dialogue?
Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?
What's the hardest thing about writing?
Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.
What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?
Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?
Give your writing a compliment.
Do you write to improve? Or is that not a concern for you?
Thoughts on writing challenges/contests.
How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?
Do you research before writing or while you write? Is it fun or boring for you?
"This never happened" fix-it fics or "this happened but" fix-it fics?
Wildest AU scenario you have written?
Write a 9-word fic.
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devintrinidad · 16 days
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15, 16, & 24 for the ask game ♡
Hi, Chloe! Thanks for the asks! :D
15. What’s your favorite season? 
I really like winter! The season is so beautiful and it's cold and everyone gets bundled up??? It's so nice! Love it! I'm also partial to how autumn slowly transitions into winter and how winter transitions into spring. Maybe it's because I haven't seen snow in years, but the icy frigidity is comforting.
16. Want any tattoos? What of? 
I know I talk a big game about phlebotomy, but I'm really allergic to pain. I don't like it. I'm fine with vaccines and blood draws, but only because it's necessary. Tattoos are pretty, but I don't think I would enjoy the process on myself personally. Plus, I would put so much time and effort in finding a tattoo that holds a lot of meaning to me, but isn't seen as tacky to others, that I'll eventually chicken out and not do it anyway.
Okay, the next one is kinda personal, so I'm putting it under a readmore:
24. When was the last time you cried? Why? 
At work.
Okay, full context and the story, here we go:
So, the last time was literally a week or so ago, on a Thursday. I mentioned before that I work with autistic children, but I don't think I mentioned that I don't really have a lot of experience with working with small kids. Yes, I do have a psychology degree, but I didn't think the company that hired me would take me on because I don't really have that much experience to back me up.
Anyway, I'm a behavior technician, which means that my job is to teach kids how to be more independent through discrete trial or incidental teaching. (It's a lot of technical jargon, but think of me as a teacher, but I allow my kids to roam and run free while I incorporate lessons into what they do).
So, on this particular Thursday, I'm with an afternoon session with one of my kids. He's really smart and he's adorable! He can write letters and even words! He's mostly nonverbal, but he'll let you know what he wants by gesturing and using what little vocabulary he has. (He also has a hyperfixation on farms/farm animals... you'll see how that pertains the story later).
That day, I was still getting supervision on my sessions, but sometimes, my boss had to leave to supervise others or to do some paperwork. When he did supervise me, he was always quick to provide feedback or praise, but the feedback hits extra hard because I'm still learning. I know he means well, but I can't deny that I felt a little disheartened, especially when I know that the other behavior techs on my team are so great with our kids.
In my session with this particular kid, we're at a table and he's trying to play with a toy barn. The doors had been taken off (don't ask me why, I think some other kids were rowdy with it) and he was trying to put them back on. He was getting frustrated and I asked him, "Hey, friend, do you need help? I can put them back on for you." And he kinda shoves the doors into my hands and I try to put the barn doors back on.
Thing was: the barn doors weren't cooperating. I mean, the doors were eventually fixed, but I must not have worked fast enough because ten seconds later (doors were still not on the little barn), my kid starts howling.
A note about me: I get really uncomfortable when other people cry. It's not like I dislike the crying, but because I don't know what to do... and I also do get the urge to cry. (It's gotten better over the years, but when I was a little kid, if someone started crying, I would usually start crying too).
I tried telling my kid, "Hey, friend! It's almost fixed! We're gonna have a great time with the farm, right?" And like encouraging him to be patient with a lower tone of voice, but it wasn't working.
There happened to be another behavior tech in the room (not on my team) with her own kid and she tried to help me, but my kid started going ballistic.
He was bawling, practically screaming, and I think there were some other things on the table like books and stuffed animals???? that he swiped them off the table and onto the ground.
Eventually, the other behavior tech left because her kid was probably getting overstimulated by the meltdown and I also fell silent. I just...
I didn't know what to do.
He wasn't responding to my attempts to soothe him, he wasn't responding my attempts to give him markers or toys.
Eventually, my boss came back and he took charge.
Chloe.
This man.
He is so good with kids.
He started with telling the kid that his feelings were valid, that it was all right to cry.
The kid started to calm down, but was still noticeably agitated.
So, noticing that, my boss started singing Old Macdonald and that's when the kid finally calmed down, relaxed, and went back to playing with some toys.
The entire exchange happened in like five minutes and I was stunned.
This man, he just??? Calmed down the kid in the most soothing way possible? Creatively too?
And then, he starts telling me that sometimes we have to adapt to our kids needs, that we have to think things from our perspective. He also told me about deescalation strategies and how to improve in the future.
And it was all great advice!
But!
Here's the thing:
My kid had been having a meltdown for like ten to fifteen minutes before my boss came in and I'm in near tears.
I'm. In. Near. Tears.
Now was not a great time to give me a lesson.
And that's on me. I should have been open and honest that maybe I needed a break, needed some space, all that jazz.
But like, I kept quiet about it, responded to his questions and told him that I understood, but the entire time, I was close to breaking.
(So either I'm really good at concealing how I'm feeling, my boss didn't notice, or my boss did notice and decided not to say anything. Whatever the three... it's not good).
Eventually, my kid wanted to leave for another room and my boss had to go supervise someone else.
So:
I'm in another room, my kid is currently drawing on another table, I'm still reeling from feeling useless and pathetic, and then! Another player arrives.
This lady who comes in told me that she's going to supervise me and give me some more tips since my boss needs to handle another behavior tech. The lady is the clinical director, so she knows a lot about kids and psychology in general.
So, she goes on about different strategies to help me run trials with my kids and how to deal with challenging behaviors.
On any other day, this would be a great learning experience! I like learning ways to improve my methods on delivering treatment!
But! Not today. Not right now when I'm still trying to process my feelings and the fact that my kid still isn't responding/attending/allowing me to build rapport with him.
I try my best to deliver trials with the lady's advice, but he continues ignoring me for the rest of the session.
Chloe.
I was in session with that kid for two hours. The first forty five minutes were kinda fine, the next fifteen was the meltdown, and that final hour was spent in near tears trying to keep everything together and promising myself that I would cry at home.
Eventually, I had to transition my kid to another behavior tech (he was my final session and I could go home... if it weren't for the fact that I was scheduled for like a final meeting where my boss could go over scheduling, my treatment delivery, etc.)
So, I'm still in the middle of not trying to cry when my boss goes, "How is everything?"
And Chloe:
That's when I was started to lose it:
"Not well."
And that's such a short thing to say, right? But I must have said it loud enough for him to hear because my voice was cracking and I was hiding my face so he doesn't see (I'm a firm believer in eye contact and he had been supervising me a while to know that, I think) and he goes:
"Take a break."
And I just run.
Tears are literally escaping my eyes, I'm rushing out of there and into a bathroom and that's when I start literally crying.
Like,
Literally wailing and trying to stifle everything.
For ten long minutes, I was in that bathroom trying to come up with a good reason to go outside and face my boss, because??? I didn't want to be caught dead crying in front of my boss! Who does?
Eventually, I began balling up wads of tissues and drowning them water so I can place them on my eyes. (It helps with redness so it doesn't look like I'm crying). I also, on the off chance that I began crying again, grabbed some more tissues from a nearby toilet paper roll.
And I headed back inside.
And that's when I saw my boss and the clinical director standing together talking.
My anxiety has gotten better over the years, but in that instant, all my worst fears were coming to pass. Were they discussing how badly I handled my final session that day? Were they criticizing me? Were they letting me go? Was I not good enough for them?
When they gestured for me to come meet them, they were smiling and looking supportive, but like??? At that moment, I felt myself breaking even more.
When I approached, the clinical director was like, "Hey, how're you doing?" And her voice was really soft and soothing and I really wanted to believe that she meant well.
And I kinda wanted to play off that I was fine and doing okay because I kinda just waved my balled up fist filled with toilet paper tissues, "Oh, yeah! I'm fine! I even got extra tissues just in case!"
Which.
I don't know.
Is not a normal thing to say?
And I think that's when they understood that I was not. Okay.
Because that's when the clinical director was going to say something, but--
I teared up and started sobbing again.
Full on crying.
Thank goodness kids are loud and behavior techs learn to mind their own business except for when it comes to their own kids hahaha~!
As soon as I began crying, I hid my face in my hands and I felt the lady come and give me a hug.
Cue me crying even harder because I expected the worst, and the worst was technically happening, but the clinical director??? Was so soft??? And warm??? And why is she hugging me???
And I hear them talking to each other and I’m still kind of not in the moment except for trying to keep it together even though I’ve long since lost it and that’s when I hear, “Let’s go into another room, okay?”
And they begin ushering me into a nearby conference room.
(I don’t think anyone was paying attention, but it was still humiliating rushing somewhere unknown while I’ve got my fists bawled up against my eyeballs).
Anyway, I'm apologizing for... I don't know... everything? Like I'm apologizing for crying, for not being good enough, for taking up their time because they shouldn't have to baby me.
And you know what? They didn't baby me at all.
Instead, they really talked to me as a person. They told me that I was doing great, that I was still learning and it was expected that I would make mistakes. They also told me that the clinical director should have been debriefed better because my boss thought that the both of us could handle it and that the situation hadn't impacted me as badly as it really did. In all honesty, it's kinda funny. It was because of miscommunication and misunderstanding, which is ironic because I'm pretty sure everyone in the room majored in psychology at one point lol
Anyway, my head is kinda ducked underneath the table because, again, I'm still crying and I'm not pretty to look at when full on crying. The both of them agree that they'll meet me again tomorrow (it's close to the end of my shift, so I was going to leave) and that they were going to talk about how they were going to make it so that I would be more comfortable in this environment, how to lessen the burden of transition, and what else they could do to help me.
The clinical director had to leave because she had to attend to other matters, but my boss held me back for a couple more minutes.
(Okay, that's more of a hyperbole).
He told me that I could stay in the privacy of the meeting room as long as I wanted so that I could gather myself and calm down.
He told me that I was doing really well... but that's not the only thing he told.
He told me to have compassion for myself, that I'm at where I need to be, and that if he wanted to fire me or found fault in my work/attitude, we would be having a wildly different conversation.
Yesterday, I told you that what happened made me into a better person. I think that was an exaggeration. I'm not a better person.
Yet.
I don't know, the words he told me and how he told it, with so much compassion and empathy. He was calm and he didn't talk me down. He let me cry and ask him questions.
I aspire to be as empathetic, to always see the humanity in others. I want to be the person others can look to when it comes to trust and opening up their vulnerabilities.
He also told me that it took years of working with kids and I had just started. Of course I wasn't going to be the best at it, there is a learning curve and I was doing my best. And that's a good thing.
Afterwards, I finally left and went home.
I kinda cried a little before work started the next day, but I think I got better and began working towards trying to embody not only an improved behavior technician, but also a better person.
So yeah.
tldr; A patient under my care had a meltdown, I had a meltdown, and my boss and another boss saw it and talked me through it.
Thank you so much for the questions, Chloe! I know this took longer than it should have, but the experience hit me really hard. I hadn't cried that hard since my meltdown back in June so yeah.
I hope you have a wonderful night and that your grandmother had an even better birthday! :D
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social-muffin · 1 year
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I know you said for anyone, but tbh I really like hearing you talk about anyone so it's so hard to decide aaaa. So I present you 4 options, Hibari and skull of course, But I want to shake your head and see if you got anything mukuro and xanxus(you don't have to do all 4 just at your discretion). 🦾💄👻👽
Thank you so so so so much for asking!! I send an Ask to you in return! 💞
This got looooong! Because I did answer for everyone. Hope you enjoy!! :3
Read More time!
🦾 A disability headcanon
Skull
Skull is giving me all sorts of vibes for Adhd and Dyslexia. The Adhd cause canonically that guy is not sitting still or paying attention. And to specify his dyslexia! He is absolutely multilingual. It's just that he is at completely different levels of being able to read or write depending on the language. He still can't write anything in Italian without making people around him act embarrassed on his behalf, but he can navigate around using streetsigns when he takes the time to read them properly!
Skull also has memory issues every now and then, because his ADHD is accompanied by occasional dissociation.
Hibari
This guy has Autism as well as misophonia I think. Autism because Namimori is his special interest, fighting is his hyperfixation, he stimms via pacing/patrolling, he does not get social cues and if you so much as touch his schedule/routine he will probably kick you through the nearest wall. Misophonia is just additional sound sensitivity. As in, he is unable to not focus on uncomfortable sounds. Hibari dislikes crowding because he can't deal with the sounds people's bodies make when they're eating and talking. It's distracting.
Also Fun Fact! Apparently, Misophonia is also called Sound-rage. That suits him nicely I think. :3
Xanxus
I am shaking my brain, so let's see!
Excluding the last Arc cause. The guy just really lost that, huh.
I'm thinking... PTSD at the very least. Whether he was aware during the time he was frozen or not, that whole thing is severely traumatizing and I think he suffers flashbacks whenever he gets chilly at least. Winter at the Varia mansion is absolutely heck.
Also... I think for a while after he was unfrozen, Xanxus suffers from involuntary age regression(A symptom, not a disability itself). Whether it's the trauma of being frozen or of suddenly waking up eight years older, he was not acting his physical age. In fact, I think the Varia Arc is a bit of a childish tantrum on his end. Hope he gets better soon. 😔
Mukuro
Yea, he also has PTSD. From his childhood as well as the Vindice prison. And he is blind in his red eye, at most he can differentiate light and dark on that side. He has insomnia because he doesn't want to wake up back in his cell. And I think the lives he's lived and the fact illusions are his whole deal, gives him a very similar experience to schizophrenia. 100%, this guy has scared himself with unintended/involuntary illusions on more than one occasion.
💄 An appearance headcanon
Hibari
His entire body is covered with all sorts of scars. Tiny ones, as well as a scar that spams the entire lenght of his thigh. He has gotten incredibly good at makeup to cover the visible scars, because he doesn't know what to tell people that ask questions. He also has miniscule scars on his face because... Have you see how messed up he gets in Canon??? Multiple times??? Like, yes sure, with some makeup, there is no visible difference, but he feels a pang of regret and annoyance when he looks at himself first thing in the morning.
Skull
His hair and eyes are flame dyed and nobody except him knows! Skull was born with bright, almost platinum blond hair and light blue eyes. When he went flame active, ways before he got any kind of fame, his purple got everywhere actually. Skull likes the colour tho, so he never felt the need to do anything about it lmao. There is one story cooking in my brain in which Skull gradually desaturated because of the curse and it pisses him off...
Also tattoos and piercings. Everywhere.
Xanxus
Pre freeze, he was often called handsome. Post freeze, he does not get nearly that many compliments. He thinks it's cause he's ugly now, but it's really just because he is more aggressive and visibly hate-filled. Eventually, his guardians start paying him random compliments, just because. It makes Xanxus feel a little better I like to think.
Oh also! Pre freeze he had a lot of moles all over his body. The scars cover some of them now, but not all, especially on his back.
(XS headcanon: Squalo likes finding/seeing stuff in his scars and moles like Xanxus's back is some messed up Version of the night sky. Xanxus will never admit that it makes him feel so pretty.)
Mukuro
Mukuro actually likes his blue eye better. That colour is so rich and beautiful... Sometimes he likes to just Illusion his red eye back to that blue, because it makes him feel pretty. Also he has all the gender. Whether or not he has boobs is a day-to-day decision, really.
👻 A headcanon about what scares them
For this one I googled phobia names UwU
Hibari
He has Agoraphobia (fear of enclosed, crowded spaces) and this fear expresses itself with a desire to brawl. He also has mild entomophobia (insects), which I headcanon because it'd be hilarious if Hibari saw a bug and jumped cause that startled him.
Hibari also has Mazeophobia (fear of getting lost) but he deals with that by just always having some kind of a map of the area on him. Needing an up to date map on his person, is why it sometimes takes him a few days to get to a battle (Simon Arc). Otherwise, he's fearless/has no good sense of self preservation.
Skull
Skull suffers from Athazagoraphobia (fear of being ignored, forgotten or forgetting someone) which heavily contributes to how annoying people perceive him to be. It also makes his memory issues worse to deal with for him. Skull has gotten into the habit of dedicating tattoos or piercings he gets to people he knows and likes. He never tells the person, but he likes having a reminder constantly on himself.
Skull also likes to say he has a rational fear of weapons and violence.
Xanxus
Xanxus has to deal with Cryophobia (fear of cold). This fear expresses itself through rage, naturally. If you see him shivering and looking irritated... Run.
Xanxus also has a mild case of Autophobia (fear of being alone/abandoned). This stems from his childhood, because when his mother handed him over to Timoteo, he did feel abandoned by her. This fear would express itself through a wave of sadness though. If his guardians abandoned him, Xanxus would be so hurt. May react angrily, but there is so much grief behind that anger.
Also Xanxus has Cleithrophobia (fear of being trapped). Because again, he was trapped in a popsicle for a while. If ever he was affected by temporary paralysis during battle, he would not be okay afterwards.
Mukuro
Mukuro deals with Atelophobia (fear of being imperfect) because I imagine as he was experimented on, he was punished for imperfections. It's not a paralysing fear of his, but it is something that's in the back of his mind as he schemes in his day-to-day life. He prefers making plans that cannot fail.
He also has Agoraphobia (fear of enclosed spaces). Yes, just like Kyoya, which I find amusing. For different reasons, but still. In Mukuro's case because he was in a glass tube for months at least, in Hibari's case because enclosed spaces are easily crowded and he doesn't like that. Mukuro's fear is more intense than Kyoya's. He will destroy anything and anyone that tries to keep him confined anywhere.
Also Mukuro has Pistanthrophobia (fear of trusting others) because why else would he act like he doesn't love his gang. He is terrified that they would use his trust against him, so he tries not to develop trust. But that's so difficult when people are so genuine and consistent....
👽 A headcanon about a weird quirk of theirs
Hibari
If you can't find him anywhere and it's late evening, check in the alleyway next to Takesushi's. He is probably holding open the dumpster there for stray cats. Yes, that routinely gets him whacked with Tsuyoshi's broom. He will do it anyway.
Skull
Skull is pretty gullible, which makes him susceptible to common superstitions! If you tell him doing something weird wards off bad luck or brings good luck, he will do that thing before his next stunt! One time Skull threw salt over his shoulder before a mission and that hit Reborn in the face. Which caused outrage. Every Arco called Reborn salty for the rest of that week lmao
Xanxus
Xanxus sleeps with three blankets and five pillows because he likes being cozy. And warm. He likes being warm above all else. The Varia routinely give him more blankets, just in case. One time all of Xanxus's blankets were destroyed by an attack and all of the Varia slept without blankets that night cause Xanxus stole theirs as revenge.
Mukuro
The weirdest quirk Mukuro has is probably that he has one completely ordinary hobby. So.... Mukuro's favourite past time is bowling. Because when he was way wayyyy little that was a family member's favourite thing to watch on TV. Mukuro doesn't actually remember why he likes bowling so much.
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kissxcore · 5 months
Note
alexis!! i am dropping by to give some good vibes & good weather for the weekend!! 🥹🌤️ & am also curious!! what song reminds you of any of your blorbos? 🥺
i will be taking that good weather, the day it snows here and i can no longer be in denial of winter is the day its over for me 😭😭😭
i have so many i could literally make each character their own mini-playlist TT
satoru — the 1 by taylor swift 💔💔💔 and brainwashed by waterparks (my favorite song for my favorite boy!!) also boy toy from ricky montgomery
megumi — 3s by nodaway (bc it's tragic and hes tragic) and island in the sun by weezer
suguru — national anthem by lana del ray, one of your girls by the weeknd, 3 nights by dominic fike
nanami — FOR THAT ONE FIC it was agora hills by doja cat playing repeatedly for like a week lol i was going through it with him, but in general it's off the record by IVE and hey blondie on by dominic fike
iwa — watergun by 1990nowhere, talk to much by coin, rodeo station by exo-sc, it's okay to cry by the blanks
oikawa — vanilla twilight by owl city, take me to you by got7, sports by beach bunny
lumine — no celestial by le sserafim, eternally by txt,
simon riley — love is the death of peace of mind by bad omens, apocalypse by cigs after sex
johnny cage — international love by pitbull, any and every pitbull song actually they are all him, kiss me thru the phone by soulja boy, that's so us by allie x, video game lover by athenas
there are more but they're like random characters ive hyperfixated on over the years and i dont really think about many of them anymore 😞 THAT WAS A LOT but this was so fun sel!! thank you <3
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qualquercoisa945 · 1 year
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I posted 4,182 times in 2022
That's 1,505 more posts than 2021!
11 posts created (0%)
4,171 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lastoneout
@argentavis
@the-jennnster
@perennii
I tagged 211 of my posts in 2022
#kho don't look - 13 posts
#ask memes - 5 posts
#themb - 4 posts
#icarus answers - 3 posts
#please - 3 posts
#a h - 3 posts
#okay but like - 2 posts
#oh yes - 2 posts
#my god bless whoever made this - 2 posts
#i will die on this hill - 2 posts
Longest Tag: 112 characters
#yes he's a tragic motherfucker and the fact that i stole his name probably says something about my mental health
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
song: downtown blues by ben below feat. rachel l hughes
lyric: one winter you're an over achiever, next spring you're just another deceiver
2 notes - Posted August 8, 2022
#4
uh oh besties. i might come back. with pokemon fanfic.
3 notes - Posted November 30, 2022
#3
"i like your president!"
thanks i stole it from the shoelaces
-my friend
4 notes - Posted May 5, 2022
#2
i feel like an important context to me as a person is that like.
so i used to watch a lot of steven universe comic compilations back when i was like... 11, i would say
and like obviously there were comic DUB compilations but what i mean is comic compilations, which were just the comics passing through the screen with music in the background
and i remember the main channel that i watched would change the music up like, once every like 10 to 15 episodes right, of the comic compilations series
and one of the songs they picked, for, again, 10 to 15 episodes of a steven universe comic compilation series, was a mountain goats song
and keep in mind i was like 11, at most 12 right? like i had never heard of the mountain goats before this, i BARELY spoke english, and i wouldn't Truly Care about the mountain goats until i was 16, so at least 4 years later
and um, the way i PROPERLY got into the mountain goats was like, a friend of mine recommended me this year and i spent an afternoon listening to it and cleaning my bedside desk on january 2nd, 2021
but like, me and that friend would sometimes get on voice chat and listen to tmg albums like he'd show them to me and my now partner
and anyways imagine the whiplash when i realized that someone out there set 10 to 15 episodes of a steven universe comic compilation series to no children by the mountain goats
anyways if you've ever wondered why i can't take no children seriously, that is why
4 notes - Posted March 2, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
--☆ Basics ☆--
hi!! my name's icarus, amongst other names, which you can find here!!
i'm 17, and i use the following pronouns:
he/him/his/his/himself
they/them/their/theirs/themselves
it/it/its/its/itself
fae/faer/faers/faers/faerself
voi/void/voids/voids/voidself
end/end/ends/ends/endself
prince/prince/princes/princes/princeself
and any other neos!! those are just my favourites
i like tons of things, but my main special interest that i will actually post about is pokémon. i have autism and adhd, so hyperfixations come and go as they please, so i can't promise any consistency in what i post, but i can promise i'll try to be at least mildly entertaining while on my bullshit
--☆ Disclaimers ☆--
while i forget to tag things very often, i am always open to being told i have to tag them!! please tell me if you need anything tagged, i can't promise it'll be consistent but i'll do my best
while i don't have the patience nor do i pay enough attention to enforce a dni, i want it to be very clear that i am pro black lives matter, pro queer people (including trans people, neopronoun users and xenogender users) and most things that people find "weird" or "cringy", and anti ableism, anti terfs, anti transabled, anti transage, anti transrace, and generally anti things that actually hurt people. proceed at your own discretion, and be aware that i might block you at any point if i find you interacting with me makes me uncomfortable in any way, shape, or form
--☆ Useful Tags/Links ☆--
Carrd
Writing Masterpost
PFP Credit
Banner Credit
Ask Memes (tag i use so people (including me) can find the latest ask meme i reblogged)
Icarus Answers (tag i use so people can see all my asks)
Icarus Rambles (tag i use so people can see all my original posts that aren't writing)
--☆Userboxes☆--
(under a cut, so the post isn't any longer than it already is)
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See the full post
6 notes - Posted August 15, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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homeofjonicles · 2 years
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The Jonicles - Entry 26
It is currently the 16th of September, 2022 at 7:20 pm on a lovely Friday, I accidentally missed Nermal's birthday, and it's day #120 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation! Also, school has once again ended for the term, which means I am finally free from the shackles that is procrastinating on like 6 assessments all due a few days to a week after one another. I apologise for the long absense as those assessments really did nothing but drain my motivation to write entries for this series and I also got super fixated on one Ethan Winters from the Resident Evil series. What can I say? He's a hot dilf and I hope you can understand.
So, what does this entry detail? Well, simply take a gander at the image above, take a real good look, absorb all the details, really take a moment to soak it all in.
This image above, obviously, is a Garfield strip. Specifically, it is a 2018 strip that was published on the 5th of April. Off the bat, however, you can immediately tell something is off about this strip. Where's Garfield? Surely Garfield would be there to provide some yuks, some yaks, and guffaws and some contained tomfoolery and chaos, right? Putting two and two together, you can probably make the connection that this strip is one from Garfield Minus Garfield, placing the focus only on the dilf Jon.
Now, what is this spectacular little dude doing in this strip? He, like many Americans, is enjoying an old fashioned burger, a food that, in previous strips, has been shown to be one Jon enjoys, as he has been sighted preparing and consuming this food item many times over the years. From this, it can be concluded that burgers are most likely a favourite or at least a heavily desired food of Jon's, only being second to his usual meal of meat, peas and mashed potato. Jon looks at the burger with his signature half-lidded, almost smug looking expression of content, gently setting it down on the table for consumption and enjoyment. Through his body language, it can be noted that Jon is relaxed, content and looking forward to this meal. The burger itself is quite packed with ingredients and looms quite delectable, adding to Jon's desire to consume.
In this second panel, we see Jon now comfortable sitting, holding the burger with those two big dilf hands, using a pattened burger handling technique showing that Jon is definitely a pro. He's ready n' steady to take a massive chomp out of that bad boy with those large square pearly whites of his, which signifies that Jon has great dental hygene, always a plus. What I personally find interesting is how Jon's gaze never seems to leave the burger, it's always locked on with a clear intent to absorb its nutrience. This could be noted as further evidence to Arbuckle's love of this food, a love that, while I personally do not share it, I can appreciate as I appreciate all the things Jon loves and all the interests he has a passion for.
In the last panel, Jon takes a... What is this? Alas, we've been bamboozled! That burger, the same one Jon was preparing to take a bite out of just a moment ago has now seemed to have disappeared!? What kind of tomfoolery is this?? Surely it must be witchcraft, that burger couldn't have possibly disappeared from Jon's hands just like that! Jon shares this same confusion you and I have, his content, relaxed expression immediately shifting to one of surprise. His eyes are wide and unblinking, and his toothy grin has now become a small line. He looks as though he's still processing the situation, his brain possbly working overtime just to figure out what the absolute fuck just happened. Something to note is how we don't see Jon's reaction after he's finished processing this magical occurance, but rather, we see it as it happens. We see Jon as he happens, we can literally see him calculating the situation in his head through that look of surprised confusion on his face. Take a look at his right hand - which would be on your left - and how compared to the grasp he has in the second panel, his hand seems to be open, sjowing he's probably wondering why his meal has seemed to disappear. This, readers, is not normal. I can confirm that.
Now, you may be thinking, "Jeremy, you've gone fucking insane. Hyperanalysing a Garfield strip with the most obvious punchline? Come on bro you've gone nuts.", and you'd be correct. However, I'm not only hyperanalysing this strip because I find it funny, I'm hyperanalysing it because what the strip implies is something I find to also be funny.
Garfield is no stranger to having weird shit happen in his world. I mean, Garfield himself is the first weird thing that's happening here, he's almost a talking cat. If Garfield's world wasn't weird, we wouldn't have stuff like the whole Lyman disappearance fiasco, the entirety of The Garfield Show, Garfield Kart... So surely, a disappearing burger wouldn't be that weird, right?
But for some reason, it just is, and that is stupidly funny to me. Jon's no stranger to having his food stolen when he isn't looking, but the thing is, usually, Garfield (and also Odie) is always thsre to do the stealing. This time, Jon is completely alone in his house and he has just witnessed a burger just phase out of existence literally in front of his face. This implies three things:
1. Jon is insane.
2. We, the readers, are also insane.
3. In the GMG universe, all food have strange paranormal abilities.
The first implication is the easiest one to get behind. Throughout the years, Garfield fans have noticed Jon's strange behaviours and made plenty of theories galore in an attempt to explain away what's really going on in Jon's head for him to act this way, which is the sole reason GMG exists. A common theory is that Jon has schizophrenia, a mental illness commonly associated with delusions, paranoia, abnormal or strange behaviours and auditory and/or visual hallucinations. This theory proposes that Garfield is a hallucination which explains why Jon often talks to himself or as if someone is there when he is alone. And plus, Jon already shows signs of possible mental distress in Garfield's canon, so it does have a connection. The burger disappearing is simply just a hallucination of Jon's, obviously being a place in which Garfield most likely would have stolen the burger in a sneaky discrete way to mess with his owner. It's an alright theory, but to me, the burger disappearing has some other interesting implications.
The next implication I'd like to address is the possibility that, due to us bearing witness to the disappearing burger, we as the readers are also beginning to go insane. Note that, with fanmade GMG strips that follow the "Garfield is a hallucination" theory (strips where Jon does acknowledge a 'Garfield' despite him not being there), Garfield is never seen, which alienates Jon from the reader and reenforces Jon's own mental issues being in his head. Being able to see Garfield as Jon imagines him would bot only just be a normal Garfield strip, but would be weird and possinly just ruin the joke. However, if we follow the implication and theory that the burger disappearing is a hallucination of Jon's, that means that, by being able to see the burger disappear as Jon can, we are also experiencing hallucinatory experiences, most likely brought on by Jon's own mental illness. Think of the phenomenon of the "spread" of mental illnesses to people that are in proximity to another person who is mentally ill. By hanging around Jon, us as the readers are now starting to feel the effects of his mental illness, and seeing the burger disappear as Jon does just further cements that and, at least to me, makes the comic way funnier because we're snapping too. It's an interesting way to look at it, and it'd be fun to see more strips that follow a similar pattern to this.
This last implication is by far the silliest and funniest one, the implication that food simply has odd abilities beyond physics itself, and there are multiple instances of this happening in fanmade GMG media too. The first instance, of this, is this one with the disappearing burger. It just seems to leave at will almost like it has a mind of its own, taunting Jon by disappearing just when he's about to take a bite out of it, and for some reason that is incredibly funny to me. Another example of food having weird abilities is this GMG strip from Reddit (which of course I couldn't fucking find online because why would I be able to...):
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It is literally just three panels of dessert foods floating in midair and it's so funny to me. The foods also always are a different treat each panel, which also implies some sort of shape-shifting abilities on top of floating and disappearing. This, apart from generally being funny, supports this theory of food being totally out of wack and defying the very laws of physics like they were an error in Cyberpunk 2077.
Finally, the last example of food being weird in GMG media is a more subtle one, but it's from a video some may recognise. It's 'An Arbuckle Thanksgiving' (not the exact name), a video that edits the Thanksgiving special from Garfield And Friends to have no trace of the fat cat, only focusing on Jon and his descent into madness. At around 3:04 minutes into the video when Jon is preparing the Thanksgiving dinner for Liz, we witness something that is a little odd. Incredibly odd, as a matter of fact. For some bizarre reason that can definitely only be explained by food having weird physics and totally not a joke left by the editor as a byproduct of Garfield being removed from the scene, a substance that appears to be flour seems to materialise from thin air completely umprompted, flouring the vegetables in complete silence as to not disturb the lovely jazz music playing throughout the special. For what reason this flour decided to materialise randomly is unknown to me, but it raises a lot of good questions on the subject. Like, is flour the only food that has this ability, or do other foods also possess this power to materialise out of nowhere? How much power do foods have? Do only certain food types have certain powers like Pokémon or are the abilities universal? Where do these powers come from? Are these also a byproduct of Jon's madness spreading onto us? Why does Jon seem to fixate on food related hallucinations? Why are there so many examples of food just being weird!?
Alas, we may never get a concrete answer, though the concept of food types having certain abilities does make me want to create a chart of what types of foods based on the food pyramid have what powers and what combinations creat what abilities. However, though the perrals of having your burger disappear on you are confusing and hard, it's comforting to know that, even when he feels alone, Jon is certainly not going through this alone. We as readers are here for him, I'm here for him, and I will be there with him to cope through this process of trying not to go bonkers after your burger leaves the plane of existence, even if he may not be aware of it.
Jon, though your burger has ran away and disappeared, that says nothing about how you are as a person and that doesn't mean you're not good enough, even for a burger. You are enough, you are deserving and you are still a fantastic person. Don't let the disappearance of a burger define you by your flaws. Take care, Jon. Love you, bud :)
Last edited at 9:25 pm.
"Don't let the disappearance of a burger define you by your flaws." that's a quote i'm definitely gonna take to heart, never thought i'd say that in a million years
Cheers,
Your Local Jonnoisseur
Posted on the 16th of September 2022, 9:39 pm.
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screechthemighty · 2 years
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Oh shit it’s Wednesday uhhh does anyone wanna see what I’ve been working on?
So I’m technically still chipping away at Final Fantasy fanfic, but I may put this one on the back burner until December when Crisis Core Reunion drops and I can like. Actually fully understand the plot. But here’s a tiny bit of what I’ve written:
“I’m surprised they didn’t fake a few letters,” Zack said without thinking. “Just to…throw you off the scent. Maybe they didn’t care enough…”
Why would they? He wasn’t anyone important in the grand scheme of things. ShinRa had lost all the really important players. Genesis. Sephiroth. Angeal…
His chest felt tight.
Angeal.
He missed him so much.
Meanwhile, still trying to finish up awake and unafraid... so it can be done, finally:
Týr hesitated again, leaving enough space for Faye to guess what he’d been thinking. “You were about to say you’re glad I’m doing all right, weren’t you?” she said.
“Yeah, did seem a bit insensitive when I thought about it,” Týr said sheepishly.
Meanwhile, in NYC with Gena:
Gena gave the guy a careful once over. White armor over some kind of black...outfit, it really did look like bandages. Armored gloves with spiked knuckles. Possibly masked face hidden by a hooded cloak. There was a golden crescent moon on his chest, and more on his belt., Either the bad guys had gotten on the costuming game and this was a turf war, or...
“If you’re with Daredevil, he’s down there,” Gena said, tilting her head down the street.
And meanwhile in [undisclosed location] with Ethan Winters:
“Joe Baker?” he guessed. “Glad to see she’s still got some family left.” Especially family like Joe Baker. If Chris was right, the guy had punched his way through the site to get to Zoe. He’s probably the only person in this mess more unhinged than I am. And he meant that as a compliment.
I am drawing on every memory I have of shitty Apex Legends matches for the Miraith fic:
All he could think about was getting the match going again, coming out from underneath, major underdog win, that’d look real good for the cameras, except…
The decoy he used to test their exit route got blown to smithereens instantly.
Oh, come on!
And in the alternate Titanfall crossover timeline, it’s Boy Time All The Time:
“Okay, how much did you sing my praises to get my security clearance raised?” Atreus asked. “I had to sign an NDA. An NDA, Jack.”
Going to be real with you I haven’t worked on my Star Wars fic in ages because every time I think I’m in a place where Star Wars has won me back, a bigger hyperfixation takes over before I can really  settle down and finish the stupid thing. So, uh, here’s an excerpt from my The Batman fic to close things off:
“You asked him for an interview?!”
“Lois…” Clark pointed at the woman on the other end of the video call. “Lois Lane, you look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing.”
“Of course I would’ve, but this is different!”
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