✨Date night ✨
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“THE HIGH VALUE WOMAN MINDSET...🌸”
“Becoming a high value woman starts from having a high value mindset.”
I would say that the mindset shift is the most crucial step on your femininity & high-value woman journey.
In was the case for me anyway, as I was only able to feel high value when I changed my mindset, do the inner work & and heal all my past traumas.
Surprisingly, most women completely overlook this step and focus entirely on the exterior ( “How to dress feminine” “How do walk feminine” “How to look high-value” “what you should say to a man”, “how you should behave”, “when you should talk and when you should not”). Now yes...learning all these strategies is good. However, these tactical strategies often do not lend them the promised results that they want.
🌸The reality is that those strategies, if not combined with a real mindset shift, cannot be effective and will never work.🌸
Being a high-value woman is 90 % of how you feel about yourself (which is predicted and determined by your mindset aka your inner self) and only 10 % of how you communicate it to the world through your actions, your body language, and how you treat yourself, your appearance (aka your outer-self).
I only speak from experience when I say this! You can have your makeup slayed. Outfits on point, However, if you do not do the required inner work, your confidence, understand the power of your subconscious, and heal from your past traumas from your mind. Or else, you will be stuck in a loop where your inner self does not match your outer self. A common manifestation of that is “imposter syndrome” & “low self-worth.”
This is exactly why i preach to women (espcially young black women) that your mindset is EVERYTHING!
I am not perfect there are things i still need to work on as a feminine woman in this blog post i will explain some of the tips and strategies i’ve learned and acquired over time on how to gain the high value woman mindset...
(1) You are the primary source of happiness in your life!
High value woman sets herself as her primary source of security and happiness. She is a self-assured, confident woman and she is content with herself.She is in charge of her own happiness and does not rely on her partner to make her happy. She is happy first by herself and she strives to share her joy and happiness with the right partner. You will never see a high value woman demanding from others to make her happy and blaming them for her misery. Because she puts herself first. she is tuned with her needs and is able to fulfill them herself.
How do you develop this mindset..?
By taking charge and responsibility for everything in your life, even for things you are not responsible for!
For example, it may not be your fault to lose your job when the economy is not doing well, but it is your responsibility to find a new one and to avoid jobs that are not too resilient in the future.
(2) You determine your own value! 🌸
If you want to become a high value woman, you need to become the only person who determines your own value. A high value woman does not allow something or someone outside of herself to set and dictate her worth…not her family, nor her friends, nor her partner or even society. A high value woman is absolutely immune to other people’s inputs when it comes to her value.
This is very important to understand.
Most of the time, these opinions depend on people’s emotional state too, their insecurities, and their ego and so are biased and unstable by nature. That is why nobody’s opinion can become the basis of a high value woman’s value. She realizes that people ( including her romantic partner), will always have different opinions about you .
If you think about it deeply, you very rarely receive unbiased opinions and advice that are meant to help you grow and improve yourself. You probably heard stories of amazing women, who looked happy and fulfilled before getting with someone, only to lose all their spark and joy and became so miserable being in a relationship. Often it is because their partner planted the seeds of low value in their minds and they were receptive to it. A high value woman will never allow this to happen.
(3) Abundance, not scarcity mindset 🌸
A high value woman does not see the glass half empty, she always sees it half full. She believes there are enough men out there for her not to be panicking if it does not work out with one of them.
She believes in her ability to always attract good people into her life so she does not need to retain those who want to leave her life.
(4) Complementarity, Not competition mindset 🌸
A high value woman is not looking to compete with a man, but rather to complement him. When a woman tries to compete with her man, she is usually insecure and wants to prove something to herself, to him, and to the world. Self-assured women don’t need to prove anything.
They are in the relationship to offer something and work as a team. She separates herself and her worth from any external inputs.
Being a high value woman is 90 % of how you feel about yourself (which is predicted and determined by your mindset aka your inner self) and only 10 % of how you communicate it to the world through your actions, your body language, and how you treat yourself, your apperence (aka your outer-self).
The question is are you ready to change your life for the better? Start now we only got less than a month left in 2021.
Want to see more posts like these @miss-femme-fatale
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If you cannot afford to keep up with me, then you and I should not be dating.
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One thing about black women😍
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Women should not be doing any type of chasing, because the men worth chasing aren’t making them chase in the first place. Any time you feel like you need to “flip the script” when you’re courting and dating; i.e. suddenly you’re doing the chasing or the planning, or you’re jumping through hoops to accommodate the other party, they’ve immediately proven they’re not worth your time. You don’t need to go back and forth worrying about it. Men who are worth that amount of effort, aren’t going to be making you do it.
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I’m back with the second lesson in my high maintenance series!
Today ill be talking about appearing more high maintenance, I did a lot of research on this because apparently wanting to look your best isn’t a thing everyone wants to do…
Anyways as I was saying I have done plenty of research and I’m here to bring you guys ,what I believe is a solid list￼. I’ve applied it to my everyday life and I feel my confidence shoot up!
Without further ado✨✨✨
1. You need to get a beauty routine together!
Looking good means feeling good and that means you should create a beauty routine that suits your individual needs. Whether it be, having a Sunday soak in the bath, your favorite hair mask, or just making sure you shave your legs, create a routine that you keep constant that makes you feel good!
2. Develop a signature makeup style/Practice makeup!
I personally believe makeup really does enhance your natural features. It honestly doesn’t matter if you do glamorous every day or a natural look, as long as you have some sort of makeup look that you can use as a go to you’re set! ￼ Now you don’t HAVE to put on makeup if you’re just walking your dog, or going to get groceries if you don’t want to! However I say Why the hell not? You’re the main character in your life! Be ✨Glamorous ✨ at every turn!
3. Clothing should be fit to your body type and kept clean!
If those jeans have a gap in the back why don’t you go get them Tailored? Having clothes that fit you to a T not only make you feel good, but you also look 100%￼￼. Figure out your body shape and try to dress accordingly!
4. Shoes should be always made to match your outfit !
Honestly any type of shoes can make you feel and look high maintenance! However I honestly recommend walking in heels! I always think of how elegant and poised I look in heels! Trust me I understand , it maybe hard but practice. I literally will put on my heels while doing house work just to practice. You never have to go to that extreme but practice makes perfect! If heels are not your thing, you can always wear ballerina flats, booties, boots, or some cute sneakers! Your choice so reflect yourself!
5. Nails should be kept neat and clean!
Let’s all face it, nails are one of the first things people really do look at! They should always be clean of dirt, cut down, and cuticles push back! If you can afford it go to the salon and get a tasteful set. I personally don’t not like super long, however do what makes you happy!! Keep them clean though!
6. Skin care should be a must!
As a licensed aesthetician I have learned that skin care is one of the foundations of having a good beauty routine. You don’t always have to go expensive with your skin care products. The ordinary has some great products that aren’t going to break your bank. You should always identify what your skin type is and then work accordingly. Also remember to drink water and try to cut out dairy and refined sugars! It clears up skin!
7. Hair shouldn’t look like a birds nest 🙄
I get it, sometimes you wake up late and you can’t figure out what to do with your hair. As long as you do not leave it as a Birdsnest or leave it super messy, and try to at least smooth it down take care of flyaways You’re set! If you can afford it, try to go to the hair salon every 2-3weeks! Look up hair care that you can do at home and sleep on a satin pillow case!
8. Accessories are a MUST!!!
Even if it’s a simple necklace, a couple rings, or your favorite pair of earrings, try to have an accessory to compliment whatever you’re wearing! I always think that diamond studs go with absolutely anything. Even a nice little statement necklace will bring it all together, shit throw on some bracelets and shake your wrist all day! I just know one thing, accessories help make the outfit!
9. Find your signature scent!
I absolutely love perfume! That doesn’t just stand with expensive perfumes, target has some bomb ass perfumes! When you establish your signature scent I would suggest doing something that makes you feel sexy￼! My personal choice? light blue in the warmer months. Libre intense for the colder months. I would definitely say try the $30 samples before you buy a large bottle! Or definitely go to Bath and Bodyworks, Victoria’s Secret, and target and try to find a scent! Target really does have some great perfumes and they’re not expensive at all!!
10. Don’t be a mean bitch/evil witch 🧙🏾♀️
No I didn’t say you can’t be a bitch, I think a certain amount of bitchiness is very sexy. ￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼However, don’t just be rude for no damn reason. Instead of telling your friend that her top is ugly, suggest something else and tell her I think this better suits you. Don’t make fun of other peoples style. Overall, just don’t be ugly. Because no matter how pretty and maintained you are on the outside, if you’re ugly inside, you’re ugly on the outside NO EXCUSES!
Looking high maintenance should not be a chore, it should be a daily occurrence that you weave and drill into your mind. This doesn’t mean you can’t have off days (lord knows I do) but getting pretty always makes me feel better!
Thank you so much for reading my little lesson!
I have many more to come
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I don’t chase or attract. I command.
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It’s very simple babes.
Closed mouths don’t get fed.
Part of being intentional is asserting yourself. Part of being confident within yourself is knowing that if someone doesn’t see your value.. you are still very much valuable.
One of the worst things you can do is neglect your wants and needs to make yourself more available for somebody else’s wants and needs.
The best that can come out of vocalising what you want is .. *drumroll*… you actually get what you want or open a line of communication for compromise.
The worst that can come out of asking for what you want is…you get a no 😔which if you shift your mindset is actually a blessing because it allows you to know where you stand and gives you a bigger picture, to which you can either choose to settle OR choose to move forward and better align yourself with what you actually want.
Decisions decisions 💕
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i refuse to lower my standards. i know what i deserve and accepting less than that is just disrespecting myself.
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And I’m OVER IT.
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And there it is.
Men actually ADMITTING that they realize a lot of men are fully aware that they are generally unlikeable, have little substance and little to offer a woman in a relationship.
They're also admitting that said men are becoming butthurt about the fact that women now more than ever are making the conscious decision to no longer settle for them just so we won't have to deal with the "shame" of being single.
Insecure and self-entitled men are literally upset over the fact that women no longer need them the way we used to in the past. Their sense of self-worth is dependent on female validation and instead of stepping up their game, changing how they think, etc, they're starting to pout and throw tantrums over how useless they feel.
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Washington D.C. 🇺🇸
Just a few of my favourites!
The Inn at Little Washington.
My favourite hotel in DC and my favorite restaurant, I love the Inn at Little Washington not just because it’s high class and beautiful, I love it because it’s romantic, rife with opportunities, classy, and calm. The Inn at Little Washington became Wash D.C.’s first and only restaurant with 3 Michelin stars in 2019 and it holds the honour of being the longest tenured Forbes 5 Star and AAA Five Diamond restaurant in the world. I love the restaurant, the mix of classic American food and French food, and I love the way that everything is presented. It’s a very beautiful hotel with a beautiful restaurant and I love the atmosphere of the building.
Cranes is one of my favourite little restaurants in D.C. because it’s so strange and foreign to me. I would have never thought that I could enjoy a Spanish-Japanese fusion restaurant but I do and it’s wonderful. There’s a wonderful bento omakase menu and an amazing tapas menu, the cocktails and the wines are beautiful, and the oysters are top tier. Nothing makes a menu like the desserts and they’re great, I am totally in love with the calamansi cheesecake and I love the wine pairings and the smoky apple crema catalana with whiskey. I’m a huge fan of experiencing new flavours and Cranes lets me do that easily, the restaurant is high class and nice.
I’ve been to Sushi Nakazawa in D.C., Aspen, and NYC and I’m in love with this restaurant and the little chain. The restaurant is clean and with minimal frills, the omakase menu is reminiscent of the menus that I’ve had at home, and the sushi comes clean and it comes cold. Fresh sushi is extremely important to me because I’m used to having only the freshest and Nakazawa is known for delivering. I love the beverage pairings as well, they serve this glorious matcha from my home in Kyoto that I love, there’s a wonderful sweet and fruity sake that I love, and there’s a sparkling champagne that goes so nicely with everything. I’m a stickler for good food and good service and Nakazawa has both.
The Smithsonian Museums.
I’m a whore for museums and the museums in the Smithsonian Collection do it for me. I love to have the ability to wander for hours and there’s nothing like being able to have access to the Smithsonian Collection. My favourite art gallery is the Freer Gallery of Art, I love the variety and I love being able to walk and wander, the museum is beautiful and filled with so much to see, the architecture of the building and the gardens are gorgeous, the sculptures and the gold leaf rooms are breathtaking, and there’s so much to see. I also love the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History because it’s an interesting and an eventful museum, one of my favourite movies is Night at the Museum, and there can be hours of fun. I love the dinosaurs and the taxidermy and all of the exhibits and I make plans to visit both museums whenever I find myself in D.C. and know that I have some time to spare.
I spend an inordinate amount of time on Embassy Row whenever I’m in D.C. and I love it there, I always have. There are 177 different embassies in D.C. and so there are a plethora of different opportunities to be had. I’m in love with foreign affairs and I love all of the ideas that I’m able to listen to and hear from all of the people who I’m able to meet. I’ve had so many opportunities to go to different balls and events, I’ve been able to go to talks and events with different people, and I’ve been able to meet so many people and receive advice when it comes to my career and what I want to do. Embassy Row is fun for me, I feel welcomed and I feel like the area surrounding the Row is the best for getting to know people and getting into the real big shots of D.C.
The Cosmos Club.
I constantly go here for lunches with my HIM when we’re in town because his family has been in the know since forever and I love that. I was lucky enough to go to a beautiful beautiful wedding here just a few months ago as well and it was a breathtaking event that made ME want to get married in the same way. The Cosmos Club is a gorgeous venue and it’s an extremely high class Club filled with a huge amount of ambassadors, movers and shakers in the D.C. scene, debutantes and women who know what they want, and the extremely wealthy. I love the men at Cosmos and there are so many ways to get to know people, the staff are out of this world and ridiculously nice, and the entire venue is set up for you to do well if you want to meet people for either career advice or for love, the Cosmos is perfect for finding love and my top club in the United States of America for finding wealthy men who want marriage.
I’m not a huge fan of Sulgrave but it’s good for making sorority connections and it’s good for making connections for career opportunities. It’s a great club if you’re good with dealing with only women and, quite frankly (hand to God), it’s a great club if you love women romantically. I’m a huge fan of passion and most of the women who are members of Sulgrave have passion for their work and they’re passionate about their community, they’re passionate about helping groom and guide other younger women into various positions of power in D.C., and they’re passionate about power and doing what they believe in. There’s nothing like having the ability to meet women and be in an environment with likeminded women who have had success and so I would highly recommend Sulgrave if you’d like to have a career surrounded by likeminded and high powered women or you don’t want to deal with men when you’re out to find women to be with.
The Capital Grille.
The Capital Grille is nice for dates with mid tier men and it’s nice to take yourself out to, my older sister once told me that she used to come here on lunch without her purse and she never had to pay for anything because men would pick up her tab for her every single time. I’m not the biggest fan of steakhouses because I can’t do too much red meat but the Capital Grille has a variety of other options and choices for both lunch and dinner that I’m able to enjoy. I love their mint lemonade and their housemade grapefruit soda and I love how well made their Maine Lobster Salad with Citrus Vinaigrette is, I’m a huge fan of the salads and the seafood at Capital and I can confidently say that they tend to never miss, especially with their cocktails and the pairings that they make.
The Hay-Adams is one of my favourite luxury five-star hotels in Washington D.C. and it’s an extremely friendly and high class hotel. I’ve always stayed here when I’ve been in town on my own and I’ve always loved the amenities and the fitness room. I love walking into a freshly cleaned room and immediately having a few chocolate covered strawberries, I love the views from the rooms and I love the fact that the Hay-Adams is in one of the most perfect locations in the centre of the city, I love the writing desks and the sitting rooms in the suites I’ve had, I love the bathrooms, and I love the peace in such a high powered city. I also love the restaurant in the Hay-Adams (The Lafayette) and I love how easy it is to access good room service and have meals delivered upstairs. It’s not hard to access the hotel or the hotel bar (Off the Record) and the entire experience is relaxing and high class, it’s a totally luxury experience and the Hat-Adams is one of the best luxury hotels and restaurants in Washington D.C.
I’m a huge fan of seafood restaurants and Fiola Mare is one of my favourites in D.C. because of the proximity to water, the freshness of the seafood, the caviar, and the beverage pairings. I love oysters, I am a huge fan of very very fresh oysters with horseradish, cocktail sauce, lemon and ice, and mignonette sauce and Fiola Mare has some of the freshest and cleanest oysters I have ever been served and I love the way that they’ve been presented. I also love how the dishes are served and presented, presentation is a huge part of a meal for me and I love how the kitchens at Fiola Mare pull off their dishes. I also love ceviche and lobster and there’s nothing like being able to enjoy seafood that’s totally fresh and has been prepared deliciously. My favourite thing on the menu by far, Calvisius Caviar, is amazing, sweet, sharp, and sour and, as always, I’m in love with the beverage pairings and the way that Fiola Mare combines both food and drinks for perfect meals.
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No work, just fairy vibes.
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Such a Barbie ..
Early 2000s Tyra Banks 🌸
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Black american princess diaries
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Imagine investing in yourself, not giving up, staying committed and following your dreams....and it works out for the rest of your life.
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