Do you ever sometimes think you’ve gone too far? You’re over the top? Obsessed… TOO obsessed?
I’ve been having that feeling. Here’s why...
I had decided to do this face project… you know, one of those face morphing things like I was doing, but it ended up being huge. The first iteration was about 11 minutes long. And, believe me, I think if I had realized how long it was going to take me to do this and what a pain in the neck it was going to be, I would have never started, but I did, so I kept at it. We’re talking weeks here. Over a month of weeks.
I have a couple hundred face photos that I have gathered from FB, google, and Tumblr (lots from Tumblr - thank you dangermannumber6, FleetStreetPauline, GreatMuldini, and others) and I have his eyes, nose, lips and the edges of his face mapped now on just about every one of those photos, (granted, the computer does a lot of that after a while.) So, anyway… some of those photos were dups but I didn’t realize it, so I had to figure those out and pull them. Plus, similar expressions need to be near each other and the ones facing left have to be grouped together. The ones facing right need to be grouped together, and you need to have transitional ones in between them. And each photo needs to be moved by itself. You can’t move them in groups. So this stupid project took me many late evenings because I do have a job and classes, as well as the classes I facilitate, etc. etc. And I realized that this was so stupid. I didn’t even know why I was doing it. But I still didn’t stop.
Then, once I finished the draft film, it needed music and I couldn’t find any I liked. Finally I found a Lana Del Rey song that worked but, of course, even at 8+ minutes, the project was still too long for one song. I found another that was okay, but a little over the top for the vibe I wanted and then I found a third song that I could use part of. I still wasn’t crazy about the second song, though. I liked a lot of it, but it got a little too melodramatic. But after looking at his face so much, a song came into my head, so then I had to compose the stupid song, work on the lyrics, make a back track and sing it. Then I didn’t like how it came out so I had to re-equalize the voice, which I’m still not crazy about, but this was getting ridiculous, so I sandwiched my song in between the first Lana Del Rey song and the parts of the third that I liked. Then I had to tweak the photos a little bit to go better with the words.
So, about now, I have no idea of how many hours I’ve put in on this thing and it’s not even that impressive. As a matter of fact, to most people it would probably be downright boring. And I KNEW that as I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop. And, finally, after several goes at it, compiling, looking at it, not liking it, redoing it, and compiling again, I finished. Now I’ve watched it a number of times and think it’s really done.
Of course, I was going to just put it up on Tumblr because it IS kinda dumb seeing that it’s 8+ minutes of McGoohan’s face and nothing else, right? But then Tumblr tells me it’s too big a file, so I had to put it on stupid YouTube which I thought for sure would block it for copyright issues but so far hasn’t. But I’m not really sharing it with anybody because it is a monster…. Like I said, it’s just 8+ minutes of McGoohan’s face changing expressions and, although I, personally, find that pretty entertaining since I have a thing for his face, I’m sorta doubting anybody else will. And most of his die-hard fans have seen all these photos before (numerous times) as well as the shows they came from.
So that’s when I realized that this “passion” is bordering on the disturbed, like mentally off kilter obsessive and maybe I just need to go easy on my fan-ship. I mean, when I wrote that this was like a drug, I was being tongue in cheek, now I don’t know.
Anyway, no more projects for a while… maybe ever.
Oh, and all that doesn’t count the two lengthy fan-fiction stories I’ve got sitting in my google drive that I’ve been working away at on and off for the past year. I honestly haven’t put as many hours into those as I did this dumb face project. Between the three of them, I’ve only put in about 10k words. Still, I have whole plot outlines to follow if I really pursue them but, to what purpose when I have actual writing I should be doing that might bring in actual dollars or at least more stuff for my writer’s resume.
I think I’ve seriously lost my mind.
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