#hypomanic

[gazniet]

idk who needs to hear this but your manic episodes are valid even if you don’t think you’re actions were “crazy” enough

#mental illness #actually bipolar #bipolor #bipolar 2 #bipolar disorder #bipolar 1 #manic episodes #manic episodes are so funny #manic pixie dream girl #hypomanic #hypomania

[mariposas8494]

Mhmm, damn straight

#actually bipolar #bipolar disorder #bipolar mania #bipolar1 #mental heath support #bipolar depression #disabled #mental health #mental health matters #infp #hypomania #hypomanic

[virgil-my-emo-son]

Lavender and Rosemary

Dukeceit Week 2024 Day 3, Cats!

Dukeceit Week 2024 is run by @imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper ! Also tagging @dukeceitweek ! Day three!!!

This one is a bit heavier than yesterday, trigger warning, Remus is just coming out of a hypomanic episode. Nothing serious has happened except for him impulsively jumping in a river which I imagine to be the Ohio River because I grew up by the Ohio River and it scares me lol. Remus's experiences are heavily based on my own experiences with hypomania.

However it is still quite fluffy, more hurt comfort than anything focused on the actual hypomanic experience! Their dynamic is once again very heavily inspired by TMDORG by Grim!

Ao3

Remus hit Janus’s doorbell and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hyper aware of the water dripping off of him and pooling by his feet.

Janus opened the door and looked him up and down. “It’s March.”

“Yeah.”

“You went swimming?”

Remus shrugged. “Yeah.”

Janus opened the door. “Come in.”

Remus came in. He’d never actually been to Janus’s apartment. While they’d been hanging out in the same small circle of six people since high school, Remus had never been as close with Janus as he had with the others.

Which is exactly why he’d tracked him down on the Find My iPhone app.

Remus had already made a promise in some manner or another to all their other friends that he’d tell them if he was having a hypomanic episode, no matter how brief. And he was scared to tell them that it had been four days, four days that he hadn’t talked to them, and he was finally beginning to crash.

Remus had been so immersed in his thoughts that didn’t even realize Janus had walked out of the room until he was walking back in with a towel and a matching fluffy robe.

“Here.” Janus held them out to him.

“Thanks.” Remus gave a small smile, then glanced around for the bathroom.

“That way.” Janus motioned his head to the left. Remus nodded and walked over to the door, which did indeed lead to a bathroom.

“Do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Not at all.” Janus offered a small smile.

“Thank you, Jan.”

“Of course.”

As Remus stood under the water he’d turned on so hot it was nearly burning his skin, he was thinking about what he’d say to Janus when he went back out. He ran through a few things in his mind before he decided he didn’t like any of them and that he’d just vibe it.

He looked for a moment at Janus’s assortment of colorful bottles on the corner ledge. He saw at least three which looked like some version of body wash, so he opened the top of each one and smelled them. He decided on a rosemary and lavender scented gel in an appropriately purple bottle.

He closed his eyes as he tilted his head back into the water, letting it wash the bubbles off his skin.

Remus slipped on the robe once he’d dried off. It was deep grey and soft, with a small snake emblem embroidered on the left breast.

Janus raised his eyebrows when Remus walked back out. “You look like a cooked lobster.”

“Do I?” Remus waggled his own eyebrows. “Good enough to eat?”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Sure.” He patted the couch beside him. “Sit.”

Remus climbed over the arm of the couch to sit where Janus had indicated, hugging his knees against his chest.

 “Uncurl.”

Remus fixed him with a suspicious look. “Why should I?”

“Because I made you hot chocolate, and I’ll only give it to you if you open up and tell me what’s going on.”

Remus sighed, eyeing the black mug in Janus’s hand. He made a grabbing motion, and Janus handed it to him as he let his feet fall to the floor. He held it between his palms, looking down at the mini marshmallows.

“I had an episode. That’s why I was all wet, I had this impulsive thought to jump in the river.”

“The river?” Janus’s eyes widened. “The river’s gross. How did you not get eaten by a giant catfish or something?”

Remus shrugged. “Beats me. The water was so cold, though… it kinda snapped me out of my head. I was like, ‘what am I doing?’ Usually, I don’t have those sorta self-aware moments, but today… I guess it was just different.”

Janus only nodded, encouraging Remus to continue, so Remus continued.

“I don’t know, I told everyone I’d tell them if I needed anything, or if I got manic, or I suppose hypomanic. And I didn’t. And I was worried they’d get all mad at me, so I figured I’d go to the one person I hadn’t made that deal with.”

Janus nodded again. “I see. I’m really glad you came, Remus.” He gave a gentle smile. “I’m glad a catfish didn’t get you.”

Remus laughed. “I am too, Janus.”

“Do you want to talk more, or do you want to do something else?”

Remus considered for a moment. “I’m really tired… can I just have a pillow or something for the couch?”

“My bed’s a queen.” Janus tilted his head. “That’s definitely big enough for two.”

“Jan, I don’t want to encroach—”

“You’re not encroaching. I’m offering.”

Remus examined his face for a moment, looking for a hint of hesitation he couldn’t find. “Then, yes. I accept your offer.”

Janus smiled. “Come on.”

Remus trailed behind him into his bedroom, which was neat and tidy and yellow and black. It looked exactly like what Remus expected Janus’s bedroom to look like.

“Here, let me get you a T-shirt and some shorts, and I’ll brush my teeth, and we can get to sleep.”

Remus changed in the bedroom as Janus was in the bathroom. It all felt so domestic, getting changed from a robe into pajamas. Getting ready to sleep in a bed together.

Remus felt like he could get used to this.

Janus walked back in, pulling his long hair back into a ponytail and looking past him to the bed. “Get out of there, Python.”

Remus turned to see a dark grey cat leap off the bed, looking at him with wide yellow eyes before disappearing.

“Python? Like the snake?”

“Like the programming language.” Janus grinned. “You know I’m a STEM guy.”

“God, you are such a nerd.” Remus pulled back the grey striped comforter, getting into the left side of the bed while Janus climbed into the right.

“Can… how do you want to do this?” Janus asked.

“Um… I…” Remus swallowed. “Do you mind holding my hand?”

“All night?”

“You don’t have to.”

Janus’s hand found his, warm, stable, comforting. “Anything that will make you feel better.”

“Thank you.” Remus whispered as Janus’s other hand clicked off the bedside table light.

“Of course, Remus.” Janus whispered back into the darkness. “Do I smell… did you use my body wash? The lavender rosemary?”

“I did. I hope that’s—”

“Oh, it’s fine.” Janus squeezed his hand. “I don’t mind. Just was wondering.”

“Okay.” Remus squeezed back. “You always smell nice, I wanted to smell nice, too.”

“I smell nice, do I?”

“You do.” Remus scooted infinitesimally closer to him.

“Mm. Thank you.” Janus hummed, and Remus could’ve sworn he shifted a bit towards him, too.

#tw hypomanic episode #hypomanic #remus sanders #janus sanders #dukeceit fic #dukeceit #dukeceit week 2024 #dukeceitweek2024 #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #fic #hurt comfort

[narc1ssis1ic]

The hypomania experience is everyone thinking you're on drugs because of your behaviour

#actually bipolar #hypomania #hypomanic #bipolar 2 #bipolar 1

[wheream101]

Bipolar Culture is:

Have I been hypomanic all this week or have I been just having fun?

#me #thoughts #bipolar culture #bipolar #bipolar type 2 #hypomania #hypomanic #depression #what's the damn diference

[bipolarcultureis]

bipolar culture is having a depression slump that lasts a week and everyone around you calls you lazy

.

#bipolar culture is #bipolar culture #bipolaire #bipolar #bipolor #depressive episode #mania #manic episodes #manic #mood disorder #bipolar disorder #bipolar depression #hypomania #hypomanic

[dazeddreamerr]

One of my WIP was somehow deleted from EVERYWHERE. When I say everywhere I mean it. When I wrote I usually wrote in Pages. Then I upload it to my google drive and I export it as a pdf.

This particular WIP was a favorite of mine. Something I’d pick up whenever I felt like I needed a pick me up. It was a sci-fi fantasy fic and it had two of my top five favorite characters that I’ve come up with. I may try to rewrite it at some point. I still have my Brian dumps and notes from when I was writing it. I just don’t have the actual file.

Think folklore and mythology. This fun and playful while being a little dark and deep. This young adult story begins in senior year of boarding school. A sweet shy girl from some a small town gets noticed by the most popular bad boy at school. Except she’s a Witch and he was a warlock. Bad boy is into some shady stuff that could put everyone in danger. A female tree nymph may be exactly what the young which needed in more than one way .

I was far enough into the project that the characters had names and descriptions. They had personality traits and swagger. And I know I’ll never be able to recreate no matter how hard I try.

Since then I’ve started my current WIP. I started this tumblr. I’ve started to write 4-6 times a week. I’ve spent time on procreate trying to visualize and get a rough sketch down on paper. As a character develops I’ll take breaks and pick up the pencil. Try to find the character on the blank page. Drawling my characters is definitely the hardest part of my creative process but vital. It’s also therapeutic unveiling and revealing another piece to the character puzzle.

Now the kicker of it all is that the WIP that was lost (in ALL of the different places it was saved) was more than likely intentionally deleted. Who you might ask would’ve done something so savage? Me. Plain and simple. Me. Not only am I the only one with access to my MacBook, but my drive and the pdf also disappeared. That can only mean one thing…. I must’ve been hypomanic at the time and deleted it in a fit of rage. For those of you who do not know, hypomania is a form of emotional dysregulation. Personally for me when I hit a high enough threshold my brain stops recording memories. So yes. It probably was me who deleted it from everywhere. And I will never remember. I won’t remember what got me to the point of that much distress (it doesn’t take much lol) but it happened and there’s nothing I can do about it. Believe me I tried everything I could think up.

So I’m just chalking this one. I’m going to keep working on my current WIP. And in the future try to remember how I feel while I was looking for my lost work.

#female writers #writeblr #writers on tumblr #bookblr #my writing #writer things #writerscommunity #writing #books and reading #mental health #lgbtqia #writer problems #writer stuff #writers woes #writers #mania #hypomania #hypomanic #manic #lost #happy monday #mondays #fiction #emotional #emotional dysregulation #main character #character development #my characters #characters

[notalizard]

I saw that personality test all the homies have been taking and:

Good lord-

#I mean I have 4-6 mental illnesses so that tracks is but goddamn #okay I’m really into #mental health #and shit #like my moms a #therapist #but I don’t even know some of this #narcissistic personality disorder #ITS JUST AVAILABLE AND YOU CAN USE IT TO EVALUATE YOUR BEHAVIOR AND IMPROVE #PLEASE DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS IS ACTUAL DIAGNOSES #antisocial #trending #trendy #histrionic personality disorder #personality quiz #dependant personality disorder #sadistic #obsessive compulsive behavior #depression #avoidant personality disorder #negativistic #borderline personality disorder #paranoid #paranoia #hypomanic #hypomania

[localdiscountgoth]

im hypomanic right now and i need someone to convince me not to get an alastor tattoo when he’s saying “thats the tea” while holding a tea cup

#i dont have money #im literally unemployed #i regret my mania tattoos a little #alastor #thats the tea #hazbin hotel #hypomanic

[gazniet]

reblog if you’re an active vent acc (ed, sh, substance abuse) in march 2024 i need mutuals :)

#vent blog #actually bpd #mental illness #male @n@ #male ed #male ana #trans ed #shblrr #ftm ed #ed not ed sheeran #@nor3xia #@n0r3xia #⭐️ving #male thinspi #boy ana #boy ed #tw €d #€d diary #4norexi4 #actually bipolar #bipolar 2 #hypomanic #hypomania #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #s3lf mutilation #s3lf harn #s3lfharmm

[flashbackonyourbehalf]

I’M BEAUTIFUL BITCH

#I am choosing to love myself #self esteem #self-esteem issues #trans-masc #selfies #goth #me #love me #hypomanic

[bpdcrybaby213]

#manic episode #actually manic #hypomanic #actually bpd #mental illness #bpd things #bpd stuff #borderline personality disorder #bpd life #living with bpd #bpd meme

[narc1ssis1ic]

You ever find yourself bawling your eyes out out of sadness but laughing your head off from happiness at the same time?

#actually bipolar #bipolar 2 #hypomania #hypomanic #mixed episode #bipolar type 2 #bipolar 1 #manic depressive

[queerpossums]

how can you tell if you’re going to have a manic/hypomanic episode? /genq

i’ve had severe depression with psychotic features for nearly a decade, and the psychotic bit has been worse than usual. i’m also diagnosed with bpd and am terrible with emotional regulation.

normally i’ll cycle through dissociating, physically painful depression, anger, and euphoria alarmingly quickly, but recently there hasn’t been any depression in that mix. everything is so loud inside and i have to keep doing something even if it’s rearranging the same corner of my room all night. i haven’t been coping in the healthiest ways, and i don’t want things to get worse.

my head is too full of random shit and there’s so much shit floating around that isn’t there, but it’s also so fuzzy and feels like it’s going to get super bad all at once but it hasn’t yet.

i hope this was vaguely coherent im sorry

#i’m not a threat to myself or others #i’m ok dw #bpd #bpd rant #borderline personality disorder #depression rant #depression #mdd #tw psychosis #tw mania #tw manic #mania #hypomania #hypomanic #psychotic depression #psychotic episode #actually psychotic #actually bpd

[bipolarcultureis]

Bipolar culture is hearing people say delulu and wanting to scream at them that delusions are things you genuinely believe even though every fact that's available points in the opposite direction. It is not simply wanting something that is untrue to be true

.

#bipolar culture is #bipolar culture #bipolaire #bipolar #bipolor #mania #manic episodes #manic #depressive episode #mood disorder #hypomania #hypomanic #bipolar depression #bipolar disorder

[visibleghostitty]

Do other bipolar folks deal with stuff like this?

When I’m hypomanic and feel energetic and very motivated to do things I wanna do everything at the same time and I get frustrated and overwhelmed because I obviously cannot do that and then I get anxious and panicky and have a meltdown

#bipolar disorder #mental illness #mental illness memes #shitpost #mentally fucked #actuallybipolar #bipolartype2 #mania #manic #hypomania #hypomanic #anxienty #anxious #panic #mental health support #mental wellbeing #actually mentally ill #menta