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#hyunjin fluff
cosmic-railwayxo · a day ago
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❜─ Maybe it’s not our fault - chapter 13 - wrong about forever
✧˖*°࿐ summary: After a nasty break up that left you both heartbroken, Hyunjin goes back home for the summer to get away from everything and spend some quality time with his family. When summer ends and college starts once again, you both are set on avoiding the other at all cost, almost like your relationship didn’t even exist to begin with. But what will happen when in a surprising turn of events, your best friends start dating and one of their main goals is to restore the peace among your broken relationships?
Will these circumstances get you back together or put an end to everything once and for all?
Or alternatively: the one where being ‘just friends’ with your ex proves to be the most difficult task of them all.
✧˖*°࿐ pairing: dance major!hyunjin x music major!reader
˖*°࿐ genre: social media!au (with some written parts), college!au, angst, exes-to-lovers!au, slow burn, fluff, humor
˖*°࿐ word count: 4,3k
A/N: this took me waaay to long than it should have, im sorry :( but uni is really kicking my but rn. also ik this is a longer chapter and not all of you might enjoy reading those but i promise, all of it is important for the next parts!!
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A small sigh escaped your lips as you exited the bathroom, letting some steam from your warm bath enter your bedroom before closing the door behind you. The past few days were an emotional rollercoaster and even if your little ‘escapade’ with Jaemin was fun, it only added to this feeling of fatigue you’ve been carrying around on your shoulders. You were tired and the only thing you wanted to do right now was collapse into your big, comfy bed and sleep the night away.
But of course, things aren’t always that simple.
Just as you finally laid down and got a hold of your phone, an incoming call disturbed all of the peace and quiet that was settling in the apartment. Once your tired eyes focused and read the caller id, you felt your heart drop at the familiar emoji displayed on your screen. Him. He was the one calling, at 11:36 pm on a Wednesday night like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Your breath hitched in your throat and you felt your heart rate quicken, wide eyes never leaving the screen as the phone continued to buzz. Why…why was he calling? What could he suddenly want after three months of not doing so? Three long months of no contact, no texts, no nothing. You didn’t even think he had your phone number anymore, yet here he was…calling you.
Should you answer? Or just decline the call and be done with it? Pretend like it never even happened? But…what if something did happen and he needed your help? There wouldn’t be no other reason for him to contact you like this otherwise. Was he okay?
All of those questions kept floating around in your head, your finger moving to hover back and forth between accepting or declining the call, brows furrowed in confusion. Exes didn’t call each other, right? It just wasn’t normal. But…what if?
Until…it suddenly stopped. The device stopped buzzing, the screen now lighting up with a ‘missed call’ notification just as your finger was ready to slide across the glass. You waited a few moments in that same position, not moving your finger an inch as you stared down at the phone. What were you waiting for, you didn’t know, but if the sudden disappointment bubbling up in your chest as the minutes passed was anything to go by, maybe you knew all too well. And maybe, not getting your wish granted for once was for the best.
Setting the phone aside, all of your muscles relaxed and you finally let out the breath you didn’t even notice you were holding in. The thought of hearing his voice again, having him talk and say your name after so long made your heart beat frantically in your chest, just like it did all of those years you spent by his side.
Why, oh why were you still thinking about him?! Longing for his presence, his gentle touch and sweet smile that used to light up his whole face and make him resemble an innocent kid, the sight pulling at your heart strings every time.
With a groan, you squeezed your eyes shut before grabbing the nearest pillow and hiding your face into it. God, you really needed to get laid. Maybe that will finally give you something else to think about.
The sound of your phone going off again, this time buzzing multiple times to signal text after text got your attention and you’d be lying to say you didn’t lunge at it way too quickly for your liking. But this time however, the person on the other end wasn’t Hyunjin, like you hoped.
It was Seohyun.
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Guess you aren’t going to get that sweet, sweet sleep you’ve been wanting after all.
30 minutes later, you finally found yourself at the address Seohyun guided you to, right in front of one of the many frat houses on campus, the smell of weed and alcohol hitting your senses as soon as you stepped into the front lawn. If it was already that bad from outside, you didn’t want to know how the inside smelt like. But, unfortunately, tonight you had to.
Taking a deep breath, you ignored all of the drunk and half naked college students that were out front and made your way inside, the loud music and chatter on top of your tired self almost giving you a headache on the spot. Honestly, what has gotten into your best friend tonight to make her want to attend one of those parties?
Pushing your way through all the sweaty and intoxicated people, your eyes were on the lookout for one specific head of light brown hair, wanting to get to her as soon as possible. Who knew what trouble she’s gotten herself into this time?
Eventually, you reached the back door and stepped outside, letting out a relieved sigh once the deafening music seemed to quiet down as the door closed. There was no sign of Seohyun inside as much as you could tell, so maybe, no, hopefully she was somewhere by the large pool or eating away in a more secluded corner of the backyard.
“Y/N, over here, bestie!”
Your head immediately turned around at the sound of your name, looking for the source of the voice until you finally spotted her, jogging in your direction with the biggest smile on her pink, glossy lips. Once she got closer, Seohyun immediately pulled your body into a tight hug, swaying you both side to side as she giggled.
“Finally, you’re here at last!” she pulled away grinning, spilling a few drops of her drink from the red plastic cup she was holding. You could smell the faint scent of alcohol on her breath, signaling she’s actually been here for a while before she decided to contact you.
You smiled, running your hands down the big white hoodie you were wearing, smoothing out some nonexistent wrinkles. “I am. Are you alone?”
Seohyun shook her head before taking another sip of her drink. “Nope, I came here with some girls from my department.” She then looked around the lawn, in search of said girls as a giggle left past her lips. “I guess they’re all busy now.”
You nodded, looking around as well, trying to find someone familiar among the many party goers. “What about Mark? Is he here?”
“Who?”
Her question didn’t miss a beat as she took another sip, her smile fading and making her look more sober than she actually was.
“Mark!” you clarified, a bit louder this time around.
The girl tried to mask her annoyance by looking away, rolling her eyes at the mention of the guy she’s been attached to the hip for months now. “He’s not here.”
Blinking, you watched your friend in slight confusion, not really understanding her sudden bad mood. Did something happen between them?
“Felix?”
“He’s not here either.” She answered, turning to look at you with a pout, visibly disappointed by his absence. “He was supposed to come with me but since he has that cooking class on top of football practice and his usual classes, he was too tired to do so.”
Her eyes were glassy by now and you were afraid she was actually going to cry, the alcohol in her system making her emotions ten times stronger than usual. Which in itself was a strange thing to see. Seohyun was usually one of those people that could really hold her liquor, being able to drink huge amounts without getting shit faced drunk, just tipsy. Seeing her like this, one moment being fine and dandy and in the next almost crying gave you whiplash. Everything seemed fine when she texted you earlier that night, how much did she manage to drink until you arrived?
“Speaking of Felix.” She continued, getting closer to you while wiggling her eyebrows but not before spilling some more of her drink. Oh, how you hoped the remaining of her drink would not end up all over you. “Can I tell you a secret?”
When her face was inches away from yours, she came to an abrupt stop, her smile only widening until she burst into giggles. You waited for her to continue while a smile started forming on your own features as well, amused by her drunken antics. This must be one hell of a secret if that’s how she got only thinking about it.
The giggling continued for another 10 seconds before she managed to compose herself, raising her hand to cover her mouth from the others as she got closer to whisper in your ear. “We actually kissed!”
Her giggles turned into full blown laughter once she pulled away and saw the look of astonishment on your face, taking a few steps back to increase the distance between you two. You could only stare at her in response, eyes widening as the words finally sunk in, her laughter acting as background noise to your much louder thoughts. They…kissed? Her and Felix?! Since when did they become so close? But why him? Why the person that was so close to none other than –
“Hyunjin! There you are!”
Your head immediately snapped in the direction of the loud voice, looking past Seohyun to only be meet with the sight of a visibly intoxicated Changbin running over to Hyunjin himself and jumping at him for a hug. You felt your body freeze on the spot, his sudden appearance making you forget all about Seo and her little secret from before. What the hell was going on?!
Seeing the look on your face, Seohyun wasted no time in turning around to understand what took your attention away from her all of a sudden. When her eyes finally found what seemed to render you speechless for the second time tonight, you only saw her arm raise up before her next action actually knocked all the air from your lungs.
“Over here, Hyunjin!” her loud voice got the attention of five other people in the process but she didn’t seem to care, waving her arm to beckon the blond closer. Looking up, Hyunjin’s eyes first settled on Seohyun and you could see him let out a relieved sigh before his dark orbs then found your form. His eyes widened slightly, clearly not expecting to see you tonight but nonetheless, he got a hold of Changbin and came over without any hesitation.
Once the boys were close enough, Seohyun suddenly let go of her plastic cup and stepped closer to bring the younger one in a hug, the action making the rest of her drink splash everywhere, including on your shoes.
“You’re finally here too! What took you so long, Hwang?” she asked, still embracing the boy. You looked at them and almost reached up to rub your eyes, expecting to wake up from this nightmare any moment now. Has the exhaustion finally made you hallucinate? Seohyun, your best friend who didn’t like skin ship, not only greeted you with a hug but she was now hugging your ex-boyfriend as well? What the hell did she drink tonight because frankly, you’d like to chug some of that too right now. Preferably until you passed out and forgot all about whatever is going on.
Thankfully, Hyunjin looked just as confused, doe eyes finding yours again and silently asking what the hell was going on, not even being able to return the hug from the shock.
“The gang is all together again!” Changbin chimed in once Seohyun stepped back, pulling you into a hug of his own, the force of it making you crash into his muscular chest. “I’m so happy!” his words were slurred as he continued, a result of all the alcohol he must have consumed. Hyunjin came to pick him up, no doubt, since he’s always been the one to tell the boy to slow down when he went overboard with his drinking. But why were you suddenly stuck in the middle of it?
He let go, patting your back before turning to stare at the other two with his brows furrowed. “I feel like…we’re missing someone though.”
Only someone? There was more than one person missing from the old ‘gang’ as he put it but taking account of the state he was in; his confusion was understandable.
“Oh yeah!” Changbin yelled, snapping his fingers like he just had an epiphany. “Minho and his ugly face are missing. It just isn’t the same without him, right Hyun?”
Hyunjin blinked, looking at his friend like he grew another head or something before finally nodding and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah, time to go home now, you’ve had enough.” He stated, switching his attention to you and titling his head in Seohyun’s direction.
Understanding right away, you got a hold of your best friend as well, putting one of her arms around your shoulders and one of yours around her waist. “Come on, Seo.”
Of course, they didn’t come willingly. The both of them whined and complained all the way to the front lawn, claiming they were fine and still in the mood to party and accusing you of ruining their fun. You tuned it all out until you reached Hyunjin’s car that was parked a few meters away from the fraternity, swiftly opening the back door to help your friend get in. Hyunjin did the same before leaning down to put Changbin’s seatbelt into place, the former still whining and trapping the boy in his hold to place a sloppy smooch on his cheek in thanks before releasing him.
The sight of Hyunjin grimacing and reaching up to wipe away at his face as he loudly closed the car’s door made you giggle, reminding you how bizarre this night has been as a whole. You didn’t realize it then, but you actually missed this. Spending time with everyone, getting drunk and having fun with them until late in the night, not caring about that early lecture the next morning…how long has it been since you’ve done that?
Just as you were about to get into the back seat with them, Changbin let all of his weight fall on Seohyun, his head landing in her lap, making the girl scream dramatically and jerk to the side, both of their bodies occupying all of the remaining space. You sighed at that, closing the door and leaving them to their antics before making your way to the front and getting in like it was the most natural thing in the world. The realization only hit when the car started moving and you froze, head slowly turning to the side to look at your ex-boyfriend and his reaction. Only to see…nothing. Hyunjin only started driving, not sparing you a glance or reacting to you sitting next to him in any way. I guess he was just as used to it as you were…
“Seohyun called.” He began, voice soft to not bother the other two who seemed to be getting tired, but still loud enough for you to hear clearly. “She told me she saw Changbin and that he’s been drinking way too much than usual so I had no choice but to come pick him up.”
You nodded, eyes trained on the side profile you knew like the back of your hand.
“She- didn’t sound drunk then. I would have come sooner if I knew she was intoxicated as well.” A sigh left past his lips at that, a bit frustrated he didn’t realize what was going on sooner.
“There was no way for you to know.” You responded, shaking your head. “She texted me too and everything seemed fine then. I only saw the state she was in when I arrived.”
“I guess…”
Realization suddenly hit you, your whole body turning in the seat to face him. “Is that why you called earlier?”
Hyunjin hummed, eyes still focused on the road as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Finding out the reason of his sudden call made you feel a bit guilty for not answering him, or at least returning the call, especially when all he wanted was to inform you of your friend’s whereabouts. But a part of you, a tiny one felt…disappointed.
After that conversation, everything was silent, the only sound being the car’s engine as Hyunjin continued to drive. At some point, you turned back into your seat to check on dumb and dumber only to see them fast asleep, shoulder to shoulder with their heads leaning against one another and the sight brought a faint smile to your face.
Facing the road once again, you saw that Hyunjin was driving back to campus, closer and closer to where your old dorm room resided. This whole scene made you remember all of the times he used to drive you home after a date, getting out only to spend another 10 minutes outside trying to convince him to join you upstairs for a cuddle session. Or the first time he ever drove you home after getting his license back in high school. Of course, that old, beat down car he used to drive then could never compare with the one he drove now but still…you always seemed to remember that moment, how excited and nervous he was for finally driving on his own. It might be silly for some but for you, that was one of the many memories you cherished of him.
“I don’t live in the dorms anymore.”
And for the first time since getting in the car, Hyunjin turned to face you but he didn’t react as you hoped he would but instead gave a nod of understanding, urging you to continue as the car came to a stop.
“I – do you remember the apartment building Chris and Jisung live in?” Another nod. “I live in the building across.”
With that, Hyunjin started the car again and backed up for a bit before driving away in the direction you pointed him in. Five minutes later there you were, in front of your apartment building.  
Taking the key out of contact, Hyunjin was the first one to get out and you followed, desperately needing to take a breath of fresh air after that car ride and all the memories it brought. You didn’t waste any time in going to Seohyun’s side and opening the door, leaning down to gently shake her awake.
“Come on, bubs, we’re here.”
Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of your voice, blinking a couple of times to adjust to the bright lights in the parking lot before slowly sitting up, Changbin’s body slumping in the other direction as it lost its support.
“Alright…” she yawned, scotting to the edge of the seat to get out of the car. Hopping down with your support, Hyunjin then came around to join you two.
Once her eyes settled on the blond in front of her, a faint smile made its way onto her fair features. “Thank you for the ride, Hwang. You’re still cool I guess.” She said, landing a playful punch on his shoulder. Hyunjin smiled in response before rolling his eyes in fake annoyance, the action no doubt reminding him of all the times they used to tease and make fun of one another in the past. Seeing them interact like that was very…bittersweet.
“I’m feeling better now so I’ll go on ahead, Y/n. Meet you upstairs.”
You opened your mouth to protest at her retreating back, moving away from the car to follow until she suddenly turned around as if sensing your intentions. “I’ll be fine, the building is right here! Don’t leave Hwang all alone when he went through the trouble of driving us back, ok?”
You looked away at that, suddenly very aware of him and all the trouble he went through just to get you both home when he literally didn’t have to. Maybe Seo was right, you should at least thank the guy.
With a shake of your head, you returned to watch Seohyun make her way towards the building, anything to distract you from the fact that she pretty much left you all alone with your ex-boyfriend. She actually managed to make it all the way up the stairs until she tripped on the last step, right in front of the door, giving you no time to react as she swiftly turned around and poked her tongue out to show she was in fact, ok.
When she was finally gone did you actually turn around to face the man, hesitating for a moment before looking up at him. His doe eyes meet yours immediately, gaze softening as he stared at you without a word. Hyunjin was now leaning against his car with his arms crossed across his chest, body positioned in such a way that gave him a clear view of Changbin's figure sleeping away in the back seat. Looks like he passed out.
This was as awkward for him as it was for you, that much was obvious as he took of his brown beanie and started messing with his hair. His blond hair, something you still haven't gotten used to. I guess it's hard to get used to something you see so rarely...
"Are you mad?" His voice snapped you out of the train of thoughts that was currently moving around in your head, eyes moving back to his face.
"Why would I be mad?" You raised your eyebrows slightly in confusion, not really understanding his question. Were you mad at what? Was there a reason for you to be?
Hyunjin shrugged, looking away from you and turning his head to the side at the other apartment buildings.
"Are you?" The question left your mouth before you could dwell too much on it, making Hyunjin turn to look at you once again, surprise clear on his sharp features. "About Seo calling you, I mean. You didn't have to drop us off too, you know? You came for Changbin after all."
"I didn't." He shook his head, briefly closing his eyes in the process. "Seohyun called to tell me about Changbin true, but without her who knew what mess he would have gotten himself into? The least I could do is take care of her as well, especially if you weren't there."
His words were sincere, showing off the kind nature you knew he possessed underneath that cool persona of his and right now, of all times, it made you remember the reason you fell in love with him all of those years ago. Because he was kind and warm, holding you in his arms and always being your shoulder to cry on. Because he helped his friends and loved ones every chance he got, having a soft spot for all of them. But most importantly, because when he did love something, he loved it with his whole heart. Like he loved dancing, his passion and hard work helping him get into one of the best universities in Seoul. His love was pure and true, pouring his all into it and giving it to people on a silver platter in hopes they might return some of it as well. A love that made you feel like you were on cloud nine 24/7 while in his presence, so high up that nobody but myself could bring you down.
And he eventually did, the fall so sudden and painful that even to this day you were still picking up the pieces of your heart and trying to put them back together.
"Y/n?"
Because things never last forever and you were a fool to ever believe that. To believe that the love you made could possibly be strong enough to hold through thick and thin, like in all of those romance movies Hyunjin liked to watch.
The feeling of a warm hand on yours brought you back to the present moment, brushing away all of the negative thoughts that made your heart squeeze in your chest. Only when the hand moved lower, unclenching your fingers from each other did you slowly look up, coming face to face with Hyunjin who spoke once again
"Are you okay?" His voice was lower now, the words coming out almost whispered.
He was so close, you could count every eyelash and freckle on his beautiful face, the sudden urge the intertwine your fingers together and pull him closer almost overwhelming. To hug him again, to feel his warmth envelop your body and hold you close, the white hoodie he was wearing making him look even more inviting. It was all too much and so, you slowly pulled your hand away from his grasp and took a step back, finally registering his question.
"I'm okay." your voice was just as quiet, hiding your slightly shaking hands behind your back. For a split second, you could have sworn a frown appeared on his face at that but you blinked and it was gone, just like that.
"I'll just...go inside now."
It took him a few moments to reply, his dark doe eyes looking at you like you were the only two people in the world right now, the intensity of his gaze making you shiver. Blinking, he nodded in response and took a step back as well, putting more and more distance between your bodies and taking another piece of your heart with him.
Before turning around and actually making your way inside, your mouth reacted faster than your brain did and you called out to him.
Hyunjin reacted instantly, his hand freezing mid-way through his blond locks as he looked up at you once again, his eyes slightly widening in surprise.
"Be safe on your way back, don't let the campus' security guard catch you" you said with a small, teasing smile.
And with that, you didn't wait for him to actually reply before turning around and walking towards the building, wanting for the day to finally come to an end and be done with this whole situation.
Wanting to finally forget him.
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99zmist · 2 days ago
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12:20 — hwang hyunjin.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x gn!reader
genre: high school au - hurt/comfort, fluff
warning: mentions of mild injury (bruises, slight blood)
wc: 1.04k
( note. ) — wrote this under an hour on a whim, lol. based from a prompt i saw on google images while i was looking for a good dialogue prompt HAHA anyways i hope you like this! kinda simple, but it made me really happy :) as always, this is dedicated to @neo-shitty since she's always the first one to read my unedited, beta version fics. mwah ♡
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hyunjin rushes up the staircase leading to the rooftop the moment he heard from jisung what happened. he has never bolted out of the classroom so fast in his life—heart pounding in his chest as his legs refused to give in, adrenaline pumping his veins. upon reaching the door that separated the inside of the school and the rooftop, he sees it slightly opened. when he peeks his head in, a sense of relief washes over him the moment he sees you sitting on the bench, your back facing the direction to where he stood.
he quietly makes his way to you, but loud enough to let you know that someone was there. upon hearing footsteps approaching, you turn around, eyes widening slightly before looking away—obviously refusing to meet his gaze.
hyunjin purses his lips a bit, eyebrows furrowing as he now stands in front of you. you put your head down, making him crouch on his knees, looking straight at you.
“y/n,” he says. “look at me.”
“i'm fine.” you mumble, still refusing to look back at him as you kept your eyes shut as if you were some child scared of a possible scolding.
he sighs. “i said look at me.” despite the frustrated look on his face, the tone on his voice didn't hint at any annoyance. he was just there, a gentle hand placed on top of your knee while he tried to get a good look on your face.
after a few moments, you finally open your eyes and raise your head a bit. from where you sat, you could see hyunjin's evident frown as he noticed a small purple bruise slowly forming on the side of your mouth and a cut up bottom lip.
he stands up and moves forward, the proximity close enough to knock the breath out of your lungs. you almost wanted to look away again, but the intensity of his gaze made it impossible.
hyunjin gently holds your face with his two fingers, tilting your chin up to get a better look. you shy away from him, but he stills you in place. he feels his stomach churn as he stares at the evidence of the fight.
slowly, but delicately, he brushes away a streak of blood from the side of your mouth with his thumb, saying nothing as he continues to examine it.
after a brief pause, your heart skips a nervous beat as the boy looks at you dead in the eyes. his voice is quiet and tense, and despite knowing that he's not one to get pissed off easily, this time, his anger was barely restrained.
“who did this to you?”
“hyunjin,” you swallow tightly. “it doesn't matter now. it's fine.”
he shakes his head. his stubbornness made you sigh, before you wrap your hand around his wrist gently, in an attempt to pull him away.
“i told you, it's fine. it's just a small bruise,” you reassure. hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “and… a cut up lip too, but i swear, i'm okay. this won't kill me, you know.”
hyunjin finally drops his hand, before sitting down on the space beside you. he still keeps his gaze on you, making you slightly conscious as you shift on your seat and frown.
“did you start the fight?” he asks, making you pause a bit. your hesitation makes him chuckle slightly, shaking his head as he lets out a small laugh. “hah. i guess you're the one i should be scolding, then.”
you grumble, rolling your eyes. “they were pissing me off. they can't leave the poor sophomore kid alone.”
he smiles softly. he has always adored your kindness and need to protect—he just didn't like that you get hurt every time you do so. this wouldn't be the first time you got into a fight with the bullies around, but it was the first he's seen you bruised, so he was worried the moment he laid his eyes on you earlier. a few more reprimand slips and you'd be sent to 2 weeks suspension if you weren't careful.
“you shouldn't be going around beating everyone up, y'know,” hyunjin says. “i can't keep bailing you out of detention or minimizing your reprimand slips just because i'm from the council.”
“i don't ask you to, hyunjin.”
he shrugs, “you mean a lot to me, dummy. i'd do it even if you don't ask me to,” he grins, and it was the way blood immediately rushes to your face as your heart starts to flutter. he seemed to be oblivious of the blush on your cheeks though, before standing up and reaching out a hand to hold. “just keep it at a minimum. just don't go around punching everyone who ticks you off.”
this time, a laugh escapes your lips, but you are quick to shut your mouth when you feel the cut on your bottom lip sting, followed by the numbing of your jaw.
hyunjin shakes his head, the bright smile never leaving his face before ushering you to take his hand.
“lunch time will be over soon. let's get you cleaned up at the clinic first.”
you try to ignore the loud hammering in your chest as you reach out to him. your hand envelopes around his gently, as if two puzzle pieces finally finding each other.
hyunjin holds your hand as he leads you back inside the school, humming a soft tune underneath his breath that somehow makes your tense muscles relax. it was the first time you found yourself nervous around him after spending a couple of months with him and the rest of the group. between the two of you, he was more likely to jumble his words or be reluctant, with you being more loud. during conversations, you'd be the one rambling on, talking about things that either made you happy or annoyed.
his presence never made you falter or shy, but this encounter shifted everything from your perspective.
if this is what liking someone feels like, you wouldn't mind giving it a try.
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— © 99zmist.
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hyunsuks-beanie · a day ago
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Better
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Dom! Seungmin x fem. bodied! reader; smut; use of vibrator
Word Count: 1.07k words
Mellow speaks: Guess who's back?!! Yass it's your girl Mellow hehe. I'm back today with a Seungmin smut, combining two requests into one to give you dom! handsy Seungmin. Hope you guys enjoy reading!!
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You know it was wrong. You know that if he found out, you'd be in big trouble. But still, you just can't bring yourself to stop. It's like your fingers had a mind of their own, slipping past your soaking folds and making their way into your hole. A soft moan escapes your lips as you rub your core, imagining the fingers to be those of your boyfriend. Arching your back at the feeling, you gradually build up the pace, pleasure seeping through your body and making you lose all sense.
Picturing the way Seungmin's fingers work their magic on you, you add another finger, trying simulate the feeling of his lips lapping up your juices. Wanting more, you find yourself turning on the vibrator, replacing your hand with the toy as your fingers move to rub your clit. You stay like that for what feels like hours, dirty thoughts taking over your entire being as you soft mewls of his name leave your lips every so often.
As you continue to fuck yourself, you fail to hear the front door open, Seungmin's ears perking up at the sound of your moans leaking out the bedroom door. His eyes narrow as he puts two and two together, and before he notices it, he finds his feet walking towards your shared bedroom. Deciding to not disturb you, he peeks through the doorframe, taking in your form as you go about completely disregarding his orders, attempting to pleasure yourself but failing again and again, your hand and the vibrator combined falling short of his fingers.
He can't help the smirk that makes its way to his face, the way his name rolls off your tongue doing things to him. He continues to watch your attempts at making yourself cum, enjoying the show as your face morphs into one of pleasure, your climax approaching closer with each vibration. Hand slipping down to increase the speed, you open your eyes, feeling them go big as you take in the sight in front of you, the smirk on your boyfriend's looking taunting as he pushes himself off the doorframe, sauntering over to you almost lazily. "What were you doing, love?," he asks, the slight edge in his voice making chills run down your spine as you take the vibrator out of you altogether, it.
"Se-seungmin, when did you come b-back?," you stutter out, breath hitching as you find your face ever so close to his, his own breath fanning your lips as he leans in. His eyes flitting from your own to your lips, he mutters, "Just in time to see you disobeying me," before catching you in a kiss that doesn't have even an ounce of sweetness, feeling way too rough to be associated with Seungmin's usual demeanor. Still, you find yourself kissing him back, savoring the change from his usual soft self. His mouth feels fervent against your own, kissing you aggressively as he pushes you down onto the mattress, his hand inching closer to your heat as his tongue grazes your bottom lip, asking for permission.
His touch has you getting lost in the moment once again, causing you to not notice the way his long fingers wrap around the toy discarded next to your legs that are still parted. It's not until you feel the tip of the vibrator push into you again that your eyes fly open, the sight of your boyfriend pulling away from you slowly making you gulp. It is quickly followed by another moan however, as the vibrations make your already sensitive core clench. "You wanted to touch yourself, hmm?," Seungmin asks, his sugary sweet voice clearly betraying just how angry he is at you as he leans into your ear, biting the shell before he whispers, "Then why don't you give me a show?," his hand gripping yours as he brings it close to your heat once more.
And with that, his touch is gone, his hand supporting his weight as he leans back, eyes taking in your semi-naked form, smiling almost lazily. "Come on darling, we haven't got all day," he urges, and despite yourself, you start rubbing your clit once again, speeding up the vibrator and throwing your head back in pleasure. "Seungmin..... Fuck," you moan out, feeling the knot in your stomach growing as the vibrations spread throughout your body, making your mind go fuzzy. Soon enough, you feel the dam break, your climax rippling through your body as your release seeps out of you.
Before you can so much as come down from your high though, the vibrator is pulled out of you, a "You're pathetic" slipping past Seungmin's lips as he his fingers run up and down your folds, making their way into your hole through your wetness. He inserts two in one go, his slender digits filling you up and finally making you feel the sensation you've been craving. His lips find yours, molding against them perfectly as his fingers push in and out of you, drawing figure eights and curling up inside you, stimulating your already overstimulated pussy. He gradually picks up the pace, whispering soft insults against your lips every so often.
Like always, the moment he lays his hands on you, it's like your body catches fire, his fingers working their magic on you and making you feel all sorts of things. His other hand makes it way to your clit, rubbing it in circular motions as his fingers continue to draw you out. Soon enough, you feel the knot in your stomach come back to life, your breathing becoming more ragged and your moans louder as you approach your orgasm once again. "Close already?," Seungmin taunts, smirking as he feels your walls clench at his words, "Such a slut for me, aren't you?"
And that's all it takes for you to lose control at last, your juice coating his fingers as you feel your entire being convulse from the sheer force of your climax, eyes rolling to the back of your head as a string of whines escapes your lips. Pulling his fingers out, he coaxes you to look at him as he locks one clean, before thrusting the other into your mouth. "Suck," he commands, and you can do nothing but oblige, looking at him with wide eyes. Pulling out of your mouth, he can't hold back the smirk as he says, "Now tell me, whose fingers are better?"
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voquenutella · 23 days ago
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♡ ─ cuddling with stray kids
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.˙ · ⁺ bangchan: 
definitely some soft music playing in the background
you laying on his chest
legs tangled 
he loves pulling your shirt up a little so he can slowly drag his nails up and down the expanse of your back
every now and then placing random kisses against the top of your head or your temple
no talking needed, you two just laying, holding one another and enjoying each others presence
if there is talking, its soft, low mumbles with long pauses in-between because you guys are in no hurry to break the peace and comfort you’ve created in the room by holding one another
.˙ · ⁺ minho:
it’s silly and lazy
he wraps himself around you, arms tight around your waist and his legs are wrapped around your own - he’s literally koala hugging you
so warm and cozy with his strong arms holding you tight against his broad chest
and combined with the low grumble of his chuckles and quiet, lazy talking just. perfect.
you feel so safe, cherished and cozy
though it turns goofy when he starts nuzzling into your neck and it tickles but he won't stop and won't let you go so you can get away from the ticklish feeling
soon the room is filled with giggles and whines as you pretend like you want to get away from him even though you both know you really don’t
its so cute and soft and one of the only times minho lets his guard completely down and shows you a soft and cutesy side of him that he doesn’t ever really show
.˙ · ⁺ c h a n g b i n:
another cuddler that makes you feel warm and safe
he gets sleepy really easily, and so this would be a moment where he’s kinda drifting in and out of sleep it’s so cute
he loves the feeling of your body against his and so he’d have you laying on top of him
it’s a way of stress relief for him definitely, and so this would be the type of moment he’d really treasure
loves to look into your eyes and just admire your facial features and how beautiful you are
he’s so whipped for you 
will always voice how amazed he is that he got lucky and gets to have you
cuddling would definitely lead to long naps for him for sure
not that he’s complaining cause he really needs the extra sleep
it’s a really precious moment for you two to just soak in one another and enjoy the peace and the chance to relax in each other’s arms
.˙ · ⁺  h y u n j i n:
okay, he often forgets his own size - especially when he’s with you
and so he’d end up laying half on top of you, his head laying on your chest with his long arm slung over your waist
he loves this position for cuddling especially if you play with his hair or draw random comforting patterns along his back 
or if you massage his back and the back of his neck - he loves it
and yes, it might lead to him falling asleep on you - literally
but he doesn’t mind switching it up and having you lay on his chest and he’d do the exact same things for you, massage your neck, back, draw patterns and would definitely play with you hair
he might even attempt to braid it, but don’t get mad if it ends in a tangled mess pls he’s sorry
cute little jokes are shared between you two with light hearted and airy giggles
you guys are just so content in each other’s arms
.˙ · ⁺ j i s u n g:
cuddling with jisung can go one of two ways
either it’s really goofy with a lot of little tickles, giggles and rolling around in fits of laughter
it’s usually when he has a day off and you two got back from your date and are just chilling back home
or it can be really quiet, gentle and just soaking in each other’s love and warmth
he’d love running his fingers through your hair while you play with his other hand, just fidgeting with his fingers, intertwining your fingers with his, undoing them and repeating
it’s just the comfort of having you there with no one else around while he gets to gaze at you and take you in, that really comforts him and recharges him and makes him feel at peace
.˙ · ⁺ f e l i x:
usually when you two have just woken up
he’s not ready to get up and isn’t ready to let you get up
so he’ll sling his arm around your waist and keep you pressed into the mattress
nuzzles his face into your neck while he grumbles - sleep still laced in his voice as he complains about not wanting to get out of bed yet
loves peppering your face with kisses
will ask about your plans for the day, just wanting to hear your voice
it’s calming to him and helps him slowly wake up
once he’s more awake he’ll pull you closer, so you’re half way on top of him and rock you guys back and fourth as he gushes about how soft you are and how he could stay in bed all day just holding you like that
.˙ · ⁺ s e u n g m i n:
he loves to do this while watching a movie
he’s sprawled out on the couch with you on top
he loves to also feed you the popcorn while you guys are lounging together
he’ll occasionally peer down at you just to admire your face without you knowing
and when he does! his heart! feels like it could burst because even though he likes to play the cold boyfriend, he’s really so soft for you
he likes to intertwine your fingers with his too and rest your hands on his chest 
it feels the most intimate and he loves it
.˙ · ⁺ j e o n g i n:
only done in the privacy of his bedroom or your house where the members can’t see
cause he gets so shy letting the boys see how soft he is for you
it also feels so intimate that he’d die from embarrassment
he likes laying on your chest
because the boy works so hard and needs a place to rest and close his eyes peacefully
and on your chest where he can hear your heartbeat and have you run your fingers through his hair is the best place for him to do so
he just feels so at peace and safe
you two love to just lay like that and talk about your days
or clown the members without them knowing
it’s just a time for you two to catch up and talk and grow closer in peace without interruptions
© voquenutella, all rights reserved. Do not copy, translate or repost.
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planetdream · 5 days ago
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— STRAY KIDS AS PHYSICAL TOUCH <3
this post contains: fluff ! sfw physical touch ! kissing
💌 i previously did this love language series for txt and now i’m doing it for skz bc i love them <3 i hope u enjoy !
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CHAN ... always has a hand on your thigh when you’re sitting next to each other. big, big hugs that warm you up but also take air from you. likes straightening out your clothes or hair if it’s a mess. soft touches, always — even if it’s a squeeze at your thigh, he’s very gentle. likes to give you massages because you’ve been very stressed lately and that’s no good :( plants kisses on your cheek when you’re sleeping. loves taking baths with you.
MINHO ... “acts” like he doesn’t like being in your space but would die if you moved the smallest bit away from him on the sofa. drapes his legs across your lap. pinches your cheeks so much and for what? holds onto your hand quite frequently, just to feel the softness of you—his thumb tracing circles against your flesh. grabs your chin to make you face him, doesn’t say anything just looks at you, and then goes about his business. will grab you and rub his face against yours.
CHANGBIN ... likes to have you lay your head on his lap and vice versa. really likes to play with your hair or even the seams of your clothing, and loves when you do the same to him. he likes it when you’re standing between his legs or beside him, your hand playing in his hair while his arms are wrapped tightly around you. doesn’t even want to let you go when you hug, either. not when you feel like you’re meant to be in his embrace forever. does this thing where whenever he itches, he scratches that area on you, and ALLEGEDLY it “works”.
HYUNJIN ... kisses all over your skin—especially your cheeks, neck, and tummy. has to be holding hands or playing with your fingers despite being attached at your hip. because wherever you go, hyunjin also goes. likes to hold you and smell your hair because your hair products smell so good—likes to help you wash and style your hair, too. applies lotion to your legs after a shower. let me emphasize: KISSES
JISUNG ... falls asleep on you frequently because you bring him so much peace and comfort. you two could be in the middle of a movie and you’ll suddenly hear soft, shallow sighs from him as he’s resting his head in your lap. “sungie, are you sleeping?” “no, just chilling”—yeah he’ll be in a deep sleep in about 4 minutes. and when he falls asleep on you he does not let you go. likes to compare hand sizes. lets you paint his nails. loves when you sit on his lap.
FELIX ... is undoubtedly the king of skinship. he's always cuddled into your side. likes when your legs are draped over his, that way he can draw things (usually hearts) onto your skin. holds your hand at any time—on the couch, in the car, while napping, you name it. needs a quick kiss before either of you two leave the room, even if only for a few seconds. always wants to be underneath you or close to you in general. if you’re wearing a hoodie 8/10 times he’ll try to crawl inside and go to sleep on your chest.
SEUNGMIN ... needs to just be in your personal bubble because why not? isn’t even speaking to you, just has his head resting in your lap <3 what are you gonna do about it? oh? you kissed his nose? yeah, minnie is very shy now >.< if you're not next to him when he falls asleep he will wake up and find you, warmly wrapped in a blanket to cuddle. 9 times out of 10 has his hand on your high when he's next to you.
JEONGIN ... literally tickles you so much it’s not even funny. doesn’t matter the occasion, his arm is going to be around you—it’s like muscle memory at the point. will literally pull you away from a conversation you're having with one of the boys to cuddle with you in his room. kisses you every chance he gets—needs at least five long kisses before you leave. loves holding your hands and playing with them.
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© PLANETDREAM 2021
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changbinsgirlfriend · 3 months ago
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okay so it’s 2am and i was reading imagines for skz and i saw like a ‘what it would be like to bath with stray kids’ thingy and i was like oh cute, turned out it was smutty and as a borderline asexual with no sex drive i was kinda sad so i decided to make my own :)
( by the way this is no hate to the author and i know that lots of people enjoy smut, i just personally am i fluff fan. so i hope you all enjoy this! <3 )
chan — okay so it’s so chill. like he would light some candles, turn the lights off and set up whatever show you guys are watching together on your laptop so you can watch it in the bath together. he’ll sit behind you with you between his legs and your back pressed to his chest and he will be super soft, giving you a massage and kissing your shoulders and whispering really sweet things in your ear like how much he loves you and how proud he is of you.
and as we know from when he washed felix’s hair, he is very good at what he does and would so have you lie back and give you a whole head massage while washing and conditioning your hair (and trust me i work at a hair dressers it is not as easy as it looks 😧). he would also so try and braid it while it’s soaking wet. just loving the closeness of it all.
lee know — okay so i love lee know i really so, but i feel like he would be so fucking annoying if you tried to bath with him. like he would complain that it’s uncomfy and how much he hates having baths and that you two should have showered together. but eventually with a lot of persuasion he will mellow out and relax in the tub. you can definitely speed up this process by playing with his hair and putting on some chill music.
i also feel like he’s so tried to bring sooni, doongi or dori into the bath with you guys and it was literally a traumatic experience because like, it’s a cat in water and since then you refuse to bath with him. all in all, probably stick to showers with lee know.
changbin — changbin, my angel, the loml. baths with him are everything. i know that he isn’t usually a bath person, but for you. he’s willing to sacrifice an hour of his days because it makes you so happy. he also begins to secretly enjoy these baths, but only with you <33 so, he’s a big bath bomb fan i just know it, you guys probably have a stock of them for you weekly baths and know so much about them that the members definitely tease binnie. so yea, you set the vibes, the bath bomb in, soda to the side and a movie set up to watch. it’s literally the softest date ever that is so intimate and private but feels perfect for the two of you seeing as you can’t really go out much due to the (then) dating ban.
as for in the bath, i think it depends on the mood, sometimes he will sit behind you like with chan. but other times he likes you actually sat on his lap, your face pressed to his neck while you play with his hair and he can just hold you, his face pressed to the crown of your head planting kisses along from the crown to your lips. massages are a big yes on both sides, you both deserve them and the oils from the bath bomb makes it feel even better. he also has definitely sang to you in the bath a couple times when telling you about a new song he was working on and you ask to hear it. okay so as always, my changbin one is so drawn out but i will drag myself away and onto the next. would anyone be interested in my making this a full length drabble tho??? let me know <33
hyunjin — i’m torn between baths with hyunjin beings super romantic or the most messy experiences you ever have. but i’m gonna go with romantic because i’m in a fluffy mood. so he loves a good bath, so when you get involved it just gets even better, and the bath in the dorm is quite big or that’s what hyunjin and chan said, so i’m laying you two could probably sit side by side, still close because i mean, you gotta cuddle. and he has his head on yiur chest and yiy are just playing with his hair, stroking it, twirling it, twisting it idc you are in heaven because his hair is gorgeous. and he definitely lets you wash it and his shampoo is definitely like ross scented he just gives me that energy.
anyways, baths for you guys are reserved for chill nights only so you are high probably exhausted. eyes heavy and limbs stiff, so the water helps you both relax and just enjoy some time together when you can. lots of kisses, on the lips, on cheeks, him trailing down your neck, but never making it anything more than it was, just showing your love for one another through gentle caresses as you murmur quietly about everything and anything.
han — again, idk how i think baths with han would go. i feel like he would sit there for like two minutes and proceed to get really bored and start complaining. so if you want him to sit with you, you better have some entertainment planned or he’s gonna be climbing out in seconds. also, he seems like the type to bring food into the bath. like you guys would just bring in snacks and chill eating crisps and stuff because one why not and two it keeps jisung distracted.
if he’s feeling sleepy tho, he would definitely be down for cuddles in the bath, like you sideways over his lap with your arms around his neck and he will have his hands on your waist or under your thighs keeping you in place even though you had no intention of moving in the first place. all in all, sleepy han is cuddly han.
felix — ah, lee felix is a dream. truly. he loves bathing you you sm it’s his favourite thing in the world. and he makes it perfect. candles, check. your favourite bath bomb, check. bubbles, check. face masks and hair masks, check. a playlist of all your favourite music, check. maybe even some sneaky champagne. it’s like every pre teen girls sleep over but with your best friend/boyfriend. so yes, a classic pamper night with felix that usually happens on a sunday. this bath session can take from like an hour to five depending on how far the spar treatment goes but you absolutely adore every second.
sitting on his lap while applying face masks on one another. trying to kiss even when your skin is tight and giggling uncontrollably the whole time. helping each other wash them up with a wet cloth even though they could do it themself. omg i want a pamper night with felix rn ahhh. he also takes this time to praise you the entire time, literally showering you in compliments until you are red in the face. he just loves to treat you and make you feel special. you guys also have hundreds of bath photos together (appropriate of course 🙄) that you adore sm and probably have e v e r y w h e r e.
seungmin— okay so hear me out, acapella in the bath. his voice is fucking beautiful, pair that with a bathroom because they always have the best acoustics, you just booked yourself a free day 6 live performance tbh. and seungmin isn’t so big in pda, so i feel like i’m the bath he is more comfortable, having you sit beside him and holding hands, tracing his hand up and down your arm or along your sides. even having a little tiny make out session maybe.
but yea, sweet little singing moments, maybe him even teaching you a few harmonies (this is very self indulgent because i love to sing even if i’m terrible 😍) but if you tell anyone about these soft moments with him he will block you on everything. he also so brings out pet names during this time, like usually he tried to stick to your name, especially around other people. but in the bath, he’s throwing out angel and making you 🥺
jeongin — i.n, my beloved baby bread. so he is so shy about bathing with you so it’s probably only happened a handful of times because he’s very shy about being intimate with you with his things around even though even they know better than to interrupt you in times like this. but sometimes when he craves that closeness he will take your hand and lead you to the bathroom where a hot bubbly bath is drawn and instantly your heart just flutters because he’s so mf sweet and for what.
so for how you guys sit, i’m seeing sitting in opposite sides of the bath with just your feet touching so you can be face to face. occasionally leaning across to kiss each other sweetly while you talk. (if you have seen friends when monica and chandler bath together this is how i’m picturing it). so he probably isn’t big on cuddles in the bath but i think he would love washing your hair. he finds it really fascinating and also loves when you return the favour. i can also see baths for you guys just being and excuse to get some privacy, often gossiping about the members and giggling while you soak.
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soleilsuhh · 4 months ago
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stray kids headcanons . . . moments when they realized they were in love
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chan — he had such a horrible day one day and he came to see you, fully planning to rant about it. but the moment he saw you, it felt like a certain weight was being lifted off of his shoulders and he found himself feeling instantly better somehow. it only hits him the next morning that you didn’t even need to utter a single word or do anything, just seeing you was enough. that was when chan realized he was in love.
lee know — one day, you were teasing him so much that you both ended up play-fighting on the bed; at one point you managed to overpower him and your eyes met between laughter. he couldn’t help but think of how much of a pain in the ass you are but at the same time, he was overcame by this desire to protect you from anything that could even remotely make you sad or upset, feeling this odd, almost-sick feeling in his stomach. that was when minho realized he was in love.
changbin — it happened so randomly. one day you were eating breakfast together in the kitchen, having a casual conversation about your days ahead. when the blissful quietness filled the room as you both enjoyed the warm food, he looked at you and thought to himself with a soft smile that he wanted to have breakfast with you as many times as he can — as in the rest of his life. that was when he realized he was in love.
hyunjin — you were at a party and there was some stupid song about love playing. he glanced at you, thinking why you chose him when there were better people in the world, but then you grabbed his hand happily and led him to the dance floor for a clumsy little slow dance, then you told him unabashedly how every love song reminded you of him, and all the people better than him didn’t matter anymore because in that moment, he had never felt more loved and couldn’t be more in love with you.
jisung — it was after he got past the honeymoon phase; after the constant butterflies in his stomach are replaced by the feeling of familiarity and home that he found in you; after you got into your first big fight and it didn’t change his feelings for you one bit; after he came home from the bar just to sleep and wake up next to you; that was when he knew he was in love.
felix — it was while spending the mundane moments with you, like sitting on the opposite ends of the couch during sunny afternoons with your feet entwining as you watched random netflix shows together and playfully poking at each other with your toes to pass time when a boring scene is showing — and feeling that he couldn’t be more happy. that was when he realized he was in love.
seungmin — he realizes it only when he has to face the reality of almost losing you; when you’ve been best-friends for so long, it was daunting to admit or face his feelings for you even when you told him about yours. then you started distancing yourself and that hurt him so much; that was when seungmin realized he was in love. whenever he gets good news, you’re the first person he wants to tell (he doesn’t). whenever he sees something or hears a song he thinks to himself ‘y/n would love that’ (he keeps it to himself), and whenever he hears people describe or talk about love, you’re the one in his mind (and perhaps this time he’ll let you know).
i.n — one day you were just hanging out like usual and all of a sudden, he was looking at you and it dawned upon him, so much and so clearly that he could feel it in the bottom of his stomach. there is no one he would rather spend the entirety of his future with — he can but he doesn’t want to. that was when he knew he was in love and he ended up bursting out the words without even thinking because he just needed to let you know.
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aemoonie · a month ago
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skz - when you both can't sleep ! ‧₊˚
「 mlist 」
a/n: felt like i haven't written for them in forever, so here we go! this is kinda bad soorryy :') <3 cw: insomnia, food mention.
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☆ CHAN
did y'all say sleep? i hate to break it to you, but you would probably be alone in bed anyway. it would be just past four am when you'd hear the door open and see chan's shadow creeping in, carefully moving to not make a sound. but when the light from the hallway illuminates your very awake face, he'd almost shriek out of surprise. he would definitely scold you for being awake at those hours, even though he himself was just coming home. but after his tired eyes meet your equally tired ones and a small i can't sleep echos from under the duvet, he knows he is done for. so he hurries to join you in bed, cuddling up to you and stroking your hair until you both fall in your well-deserved (and desperately needed) slumber.
☆ LINO
he'd be so whiny. he'd toss and turn next to you and would throw his pillow here and there in order to find some sleep. it would be so rattling to the point where you'd lay awake next to him, just staring at the ceiling and waiting for him to be done. and when he calls your name and asks if you also can't sleep, you can't help the sarcastic tone that slips out, yeah and i wonder why. he'd be the type to drag you into the kitchen to cook some tea or ramen, and would honestly just be happy to be spending time with you. he has quite the busy schedule and would cherish every second he got with you in peace and quiet, even if it means it's at three am waiting for the water to boil.
☆ CHANGBIN
it would probably also be only him who'd be awake, but he refuses to suffer alone, so he wakes you up just so he wouldn't be bored anymore. after some snacks, he'd want to cuddle with you in front of the tv watching whatever was playing atm. and even if you would drift back off in his arms, he'd be fine then. would probably make you baby him before that, and he'd whine about being tired a lot. but as sweet as can be, he'd just be content letting you have your beauty sleep while he watches some random show. might secretly or not so secretly watch you and run his fingers through your hair.
☆ HYUNJIN
considering he is a pretty heavy sleeper, it's most likely you who'd be lying awake. and after hours of tossing and turning, you finally decide to wake the boy up. only the task was easier said than done because he wouldn't budge even when he is awake. he'd ask you what's up just in case there was an emergency, but if you tell him you can't sleep, he'd just close his eyes again and open his arms for you to crawl in. would totally say something like just sleep, it's not that hard. he meant it in a teasing way and the low chuckles that erupt when you hit his chest are eventually what redeems him (barely).
☆ JISUNG
he's a sleepy boy, but he'd get up with you because he loves you. and he'd make sure you know that. you know i'm only doing this because i love you he'd say at least 10 times while watching you prepare something in the kitchen. you can only smile sweetly at his grumpy face, saying how much you enjoy his company. and he would lie if he said that this didn't affect him at all. in fact, he lets a few curses slip and then takes the dishes out of your hand and sets up the couch for the two of you. even though his high-energy self is nowhere to be found, he still doesn't want you to be alone.
☆ FELIX
would be the sweetest about it, probably. if you decide to play games, it would be an eruption of small cheers and (even louder) psssshhs! until you'd finally say you're ready for bed again. has no problem staying up until the early morning hours with you, though if his schedule was early, he'd probably tell you a different story. but you two would find yourselves in front of the bathroom mirror at almost five am, both with face masks on and hyunjin's hair treatment sitting in your locks, arguing about who looks more ridiculous or jamming as quietly as possible to a playlist you two made together <3.
☆ SEUNGMIN
he'd either be awake right the second you say his name, or he'd act as if he wasn't. if he was particularly tired, he'd tell you to leave him alone (but in a sweet way of course). after some coercing, you'd get him to at least make some cocoa or tea. i see him as someone who'd go relatively early to bed (compared to some others) so maybe when you two stroll to the kitchen, you'd probably encounter one of the other boys as well. and while you carry a casual conversation, seungmin tries his best to not let his head fall into his cup.
☆ JEONGIN
surprisingly, he's kind of easy to wake up. he'd just be like hey what's up as if it was a normal day. he'd probably do just about anything that you'd want to try. i can imagine you two strolling through the cold night, your breath forming clouds in the air. and when the store around the corner doesn't have what you want, you two would go to the next. the perks of living in a big city i guess. he'd eagerly follow you, pick up some stuff here and there until you return home, now finally feeling tired. if he was honest, he likes the element of accompanying you in the night, protecting you from the sketchy figures made him feel all tough and manly. unfortunately for you, jeongin finds himself feeling just perfectly refreshed by your walk and is the one wide-awake now. you had a fun time though, even if your plan backfired.
━━━━━━
© aemoonie
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chanluster · 8 months ago
Text
the duke and i | m ; f
“The Duke of Hastings can show you much more than what you write of.”
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oneshot | bridgerton! au | f2l! au | 32.3k words
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s u m m a r y >> wishing to be a successful writer in the regency period seemed next to impossible for the sole daughter of a dead earl. with arising pressures from your mother to tie the knot, you turn to your dearest friend, hwang hyunjin, duke of hastings and the most eligible, scandalous bachelor of the season, for assistance. when he suggests the insane of idea of marrying each other to help each other, you agree to the proposal, unaware of how much the duke can teach you of the wonders of matrimony.
w a r n i n g s >> noble! reader, duke! hyunjin, hyunjin is a fucking rake, reader is a fucking nerd, also really really innocent, hyunjin is sosososo hot, a lot of teasing, foul language too, endearments, sexual tension, kissing, making out, corruption kink!!!!! corruption! fucking! kink! oral (f. receiving) fingering, unprotected sex (stay safe hoemies!!) orgasming on multiple occasions, there is fluff i promise, yes there is angst, also seungmin cameo of him being a drunk fool, and slight references to regency poets and writers here and there
p l a y l i s t >> here!
t a g l i s t >> @fivefootfuryanon @h0eforhyunjin16 @seoulicitae @linoscult @aliceu @hwangi @shipsaremything98 @babyyynatty @kabira @danyxthirstae01 @sunseokkies @lunefilm @severetimetravelnerd @minaamhh @starry--koo @ninjaleeknow @hyunjeonnies @inlovewithasa @titleisyettobemade​ @maedesculpaeusoubi @fleeingreality @healinghyunjin​​
a u t h o r ’ s  n o t e >> help i am back from the dead to finally give you bridgerton! hyunjin!! big apologies for taking so long, and i hope you enjoy this whopper :’) thank you for the constant support, and hope you won’t miss me too much while i’m gone ;)
back to masterlist
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YOU TURNED THE PAGE OF YOUR BOOK AS YOUR MOTHER REPEATED THE RULES FOR THE TWENTIETH TIME THAT EVENING.
“And remember,” she droned on, voice barely audible from the din of the carriage ricketing across the cobblestone. “You must dance with as many dukes you can get your hands on. Especially those worth over 10,000 a year!”
“As you say, Mama,” you got out, not particularly focusing on her orders, but the characters in your novel, bickering sweetly with each other. You smiled at the heated conversation, marvelling at how the two people did not realise their undying love for each other.
Unfortunately, your mother caught the slight happiness on your face, and simply had to stample it. “Are you even listening to me, child?”
You hummed out a cryptic answer, but that was not enough. “Stop reading that rubbish, ____!” she ordered, trying to seize it from your hands, but you were too quick, keeping it out of her range. “You have a bigger issue at hand here!”
“Leave me be,” you murmured, hugging the novel to your chest, unable to feel its leather due to your long gloves enveloping your fingers.  
Of course you knew of the ‘bigger issue’ she would not ever stop speaking of. It was another matter entirely that you did not care for it.
“____, listen to me.”
Groaning, you directed your gaze towards your mother, who looked regal in a light golden gown, shawl enveloping her shoulders. “I know you would much rather have your nose stuck in those silly little novels of yours all day, God knows why.” She brought a hand out, planting it on the silk of your lap. “But that may have been excusable before.”
You understood where she was going with this conversation.
Your father is dead now. 
Pursing your lips, you looked out to the tiny window, exposing the other carriages closing up to the huge pathway of the Buckingham estate. The clattering of horseshoes upon the gravel entered your ears, but still could not blank out the information that lingered.
There is no hope for single women in search of a career. Especially if they have no fathers or brothers.
As your own vehicle came to a rest, behind the dozens of others, you held onto your book, a footman opening the door and holding his hand out to your mother. She taking it, you followed suit, dusting away at the dress and tilting your head upwards at the destination.
The Duke of Buckinghamshire could rival the queen herself with his estate — the faded, grey-red brick was alight, orchestral music tuning outside and seducing the guests to enter. Hundreds of windows plastered on the towering walls gave a glimpse of the chaos residing inside, a few couples leaning a little too close behind fans on the sill and men screaming over card game losses. A flourish of men and women adorned in their finest attire rushed to the entrance, the gigantic double doors of the manor welcomed every guest, and you stayed close with your mother as the two of you made your way up the steps, and into the estate.
The interior was even more marvellous — golden chandeliers dangled from the vast, painted ceiling, like glittering diamonds as it shed light on the hallway, servants ready to take any apparel and lead the way to the ballroom. Marble floors glistened as your eyes skimmed over the crowd, looking for a specific person among the riches.
Your mother, finding the host of this ball, patted your shoulder as she began to hurry into the main hall. “Come, my child,” she said as she tugged you along, “I shall reacquaint you with Her Grace.”
Before you could object, the woman rushed into the ballroom, the music louder as the orchestra resided right at the end of the hall, playing its sultry tune to the dancers emerging in the centre. You wished to study the place further, but were turned to face a large duchess of overwhelming dress, red skirts flowing and feathers of the same colour jutting out from her updo. 
“Ah, Lady ____!” the Duchess of Buckingham greeted with a shark’s smile. “Lovely to see you back in society. So soon, might I add.”
You had a right mind to say that it was against your wishes, but your mother chipped in, “You know how it is, Your Grace. When one has an unmarried daughter one can only stay in society until that is undone.”
“Rightly so.” the Duchess brought her fan to her chin, studying you thoroughly. “My sweet, you are a pretty girl.” Her eyes landed on the book you held. “But bringing a novel into a ballroom? Do you not wish to socialise at all?”  
“Perhaps not tonight,” you said with as much disappointment as you could muster. “The Dashwood sisters will entertain me well enough.”
The Duchess could not respond as you bowed lightly and left your mother’s side, rushing past the other men and women of titles before they could converse with you. Your eyes skimmed the crowd, in search of a particular man, but the amount of guests made it incredibly difficult. 
The dancing continued on, laughter ringing throughout the hall as you secluded yourself in a corner, next to the refreshments. The wondrous scent of cakes, pastries and other deserts seduced your senses, but you restrained your temptations as you sat upon an ornate chair placed beside the tables of food. 
An unfamiliar lord, as if waiting for you to be at peace, walked over to your side, and you had to contain your disdain as you instantly deduced the motivations behind his coming over.
Reaching out his gloved hand to you, he asked the most irritable question. 
“May I have the first dance with you, my lady?”
Brilliant. You looked up at him, plastering a tight smile upon your face. “I deeply apologise, sir,” you began, opening your book. “I am afraid my firsts are promised to another.”
Confused, he tried again. “How about the next dance, then?”
Why was he being so persistent? “I shall see,” you replied, not outright rejecting him, but hoping that he understood the implications behind your lack of acceptance.
Beyond puzzled, he hesitantly dipped his head in adieu, wondering at his rejection as he thankfully left you alone.
It was not like you were lying to him — your firsts for everything had been promised to another man. You were just fortunate enough to use that to your advantage.
Glancing over the crowd one last time in search of that particular man, you dove into the novel, hoping he stayed lost in the crowd for the night.
A sad smile exposed itself on your face.
The thought of Jane Austen gaining little acclaim for the writings in your hands crushed you. Maybe that contributed to her publishing anonymously, but still — everyone knew she was the lady behind your favourite works. 
In general, there was simply no other form of joy for you other than reading the works of women. The soul of your gender had only ever been captured by the writings created by ladies of your age and mentality. It almost felt like you possessed a personal connection with them when you read these novels; It felt like that Austen understood you on an emotional level, a degree not many people could comprehend.
You dearly wished you could write such flawless books yourself.
A slight frown enveloped your lips.
As if your mother would let you. Or any man she marries you off to.
Progressing further into the novel, you became so engrossed that you did not notice another man walking to where you were isolated, the soft leather boots near silent on the marble floor. You wished you had perked up at his presence, but you did not realise him there until he got hold of your book.
And snatched it right out of your hands.
A gasp escaped you, features twisting into anger as your eyes followed the origins of such fingers, closing your novel with a snap!
“Of course I see you engrossed in a book rather than in another man’s arms.”
The roll of your eyes was inevitable.
Because before you was the Duke of Hastings, smiling like a pirate finding long-lost treasure.
Your answering grin was more a flash of teeth. “No man is ever as interesting as a good book.”
Clicking his tongue, he plucked a flute of champagne from the table next to you. In truth, Hwang Hyunjin, unfortunately, was one of the most fascinating men you had ever encountered. The greatest giveaway was his appearance — the lean, delicate figure, elevated by his gorgeous features. His eyes, the colour of bitter coffee, shone with mischief as the glass settled on his plush lips, tilting his head back so his lustrous golden curls fell from his shoulders. 
His hair alone sent a shockwave through the city. The gentlemen in society spent their time in the barbers’ salons after his new appearance at Lord Lee’s spring ball, and although they aspired, they simply could not compete. 
Your best friend was a sacred image no being could ever attempt to replicate.
Releasing a dreamy sigh, he propped the empty flute back on the table, dusting away at his cream-coloured tailcoat. The trousers of the same colour hugged his legs perfectly, tightening at his thighs. “Now, ____,” he began, holding out his free hand before you. “It is time for a human being to entertain you.”
You raised your chin in challenge. “And what if I were to say no?”
The scoff that escaped his lips dared you to try. 
“You cannot escape me, angel. Alas, you have promised your firsts to me.”
Grimacing at the truth, you eyed the object he had seized from you, crossing your arms. “What about my novel?” you asked. “I cannot let you discard it in any old place.”
“How about this?” He took a step closer to you. “I will keep hold of it as we dance.”
“And how will you do that, blondie?”
The man narrowed his gaze at the term — a nickname you had established the moment he had revealed his golden locks to you, to his utter dismay. “Well, darling,” he mused, the hand hovering closer, “You are going to have to accept me first.”
First. Always him as your first.
Of course, you were never the one to refuse the Rake of London.
So, making sure you exaggerated as much disdain as you could, you grabbed onto his hand, feeling the determined tug of his hold as he led you to the dance floor. Finding a fairly empty spot among the dozens of other couples, he fully interlocked your fingers with his, snaking the book-held hand around your waist. Feeling the hard leather on your back, you let out a hum of approval as you propped your free hand on his shoulder.
“If you dare drop the book, Hyunjin,” you warned, digging your gloves further into the fabric. “I will tread on your boots.”
His answer was patting your prized possession behind your book. “You worry as if you don’t tread on them anyway.”
As the orchestra began, so did his feet, commencing the dance. 
You saw his eyes wander, pausing at a particular image which made him smirk knowingly at you. “I think you should be worrying more about your mother.”
Fearful, you followed his line of sight. There she was, talking to the other countesses with smiles and frivolous laughter as she pointed to your general direction. Their sons pursued her finger, and as they caught sight of you, you gulped. A small chuckle huffed out of your partner. “I think I might see you engaged at the end of the evening.”
“Do not even utter such words!” you exclaimed. “I will either die a successful writer or die a spinster.”
“You do know you can be an author while you are married,” Hyunjin pointed out, turning you about the room. 
Shaking your head at his statement, you countered, “That could not be further from the truth! Do you remember Lady Andrews?” An absent-minded shrug was his answer. “Well, she lives up north now, but she once confided to me that she wished to be a painter. Guess what happened to her?”
“I assume this is the part where you attack marriage.”
“Yes! Because her life was ruined after she was wedded to some wretched old viscount!” You shuddered depicting the details. “In the last letters she wrote to me, she spoke of her easels and paints being taken away from her. God, it enraged me when she begged the heavens for any kind of assistance to be rid of the man, but after she became with child, there was no escape.”
Sensing your fingers clenching onto him tighter, the duke instinctively patted the small of your back with your book. “I cannot risk such chains, Hyunjin,” you guttered. “I may not have much freedom now, but it is still better than none.”
Allowing yourself to be twirled by your friend, he brought you back into his arms. His silence, although heavy, was temporary, as his eyes settled on you. “Not every man wants to imprison their wife, ____.”
You did not bother remarking on the statement. “What about your own marital status?” you asked, changing the subject slightly. “Have you not found yourself a nice girl from the many you speak to?”
Hyunjin scoffed. “Speak to,” he parroted softly, as if in disbelief. “The ladies that I...merely speak to...their families are a nightmare.” The repetition confused you, but you persisted until he pressed his lips in an unamused line. “I just...do not want to marry these women. I do not feel any sort of affection for them.”
After a moment of quiet, you let out a huff of laughter. “Look at us, blondie.” You gestured to the crowds around the two of you, the chaos of it all. “Both of us are plagued by pressures of matrimony.” 
The music began its path to the crescendo, instruments sounding louder with every second your feet moved in tune to your friend’s. “It seems the value our freedoms too much to sacrifice it forever.”
He did not respond, eyes lost beyond you and the entire ball. His fingers upon yours tightened slightly, feeling the drum of his hands reverberating upon the book latched on your back. You cocked your head slightly, studying his faraway expression, wondering what matter had gained his interest so deeply. It was not an easy feat to gain Hyunjin’s attention.
As the violins sang out higher, the man’s grip on you loosened, almost as he became transported in his mind, losing all grasp on the reality he shared with you. Only when you smacked him lightly on the shoulder did he blink back, staring at you with mild irritation. “Hello?” you said, waving your gloved hand over his face. “Earth to Hyunjin?”
“Ah, um...sorry, angel,” he muttered, looking away as he picked up the pace of the dance once more. “I was just thinking.”
“Of what?” you asked, and when you caught the hesitancy in his gaze you groaned at him. “Oh, do not tell me you are thinking of some poor lady once again!”
“No!” he began, but then he frowned, shaking his head. “Well, yes, I...I suppose I was thinking of a certain lady.”
You grinned. “God help her, then.”
There was another moment of quiet among the buzz of the ball when he spoke again. “____.”
Your stare remained on his face. “Yes?”
As you kept watching him, you witnessed a slight blush arise on his cheeks. “So, um...as you said, correctly, that we both highly value our freedom…”
Not quite understanding, you drawed, “Yes?”
“And of course, you know how we are the best of friends,” he carried on, eyes boring into you, as if you were some child who needed extra explanation. “You know, how everything I would ask of you would be in our best interests.”
A raised brow was your response to his rambling. “Hyunjin…what is the matter?”
He stopped, realising he could not meander any further. Sharp sigh escaping, he proposed a plan which had been haunting his mind since the dance. 
“I think you should marry me, angel.”
The words caused you to still completely. Not a very wise decision, considering the dance was still in motion, resulting in Hyunjin stumbling forward into you. His tugging hands had you continuing, albeit with much more shock. 
“What…” your insides threatened to retch out of your mouth. “What did you just say?”
“No, no, listen to me for a moment!” He clamped his lips together, searching for the right words to argue his point with. “Now I know marriage is something you have disliked—”
“Dislike?” A scoff. “I think you mean absolutely detest!” You saw him almost flinch at your snarl. “How dare you even suggest such a thing to me?!”
“I know, damn it!” he exclaimed, discomfort clear in his voice. “But if you would hear me out!”
“And what is this plan you speak of, Hyunjin?” you seethed, suddenly tempted to ram your heeled slipper into his boot. 
The man looked much in need of escape from this situation, but he merely twirled you about once more, the climax of the music about to begin. “I am very aware of your hatred against matrimony, and believe me when I say that I share in your disdain. Have I not complained of the very ceremony when mothers from every corner of London came to insist for their daughters’ hands?
Grumbling, you nodded. “Exactly, so obviously I must have a good reason why I spoke of this matter.”
“Well, spit it out, then!” you snapped. “It already sounds outrageous.”
With the instruments chanting louder, he commenced. “We both have a dilemma with marriage, especially concerning the burden. Your biggest problem is the freedom being taken from you. Mine is having to live with a woman I have no feelings towards.”
He continued, feet moving quicker and quicker to the melody of the music. “But see, if we wed each other, then those problems would be solved instantly!”
You looked at him as if he was insane. “You do realise that I would still be married. My scrap of independence would be snatched from me anyway.”
“That would be true if you were marrying some silly old lord, who had no interest in you other than your titles.”
His hand on your back pulled you a little closer. “But you see, angel, you would be marrying me.” 
Around and around, the two of you whirled, never stopping for a second to the music. “And you have known me long enough to know that I would never stop you from pursuing your passions.” 
Higher the melody climbed, lost to your ears as your eyes widened. 
His words rang through you with every note that escaped the instruments, sailing through the crescendo that washed over the ball. “You...you would let me write?”
Hyunjin furrowed your brows. “Did you think any different?” he asked, quite offended by your surprise. “Did you really expect that kind of behaviour from me?”
You did not hide your fears. “You may be my dearest friend, but you are still a man.”
That had him twisting his mouth into a scowl. His hands on you clenched harder. “You know me better than that, darling.”
You did, in fairness. The Duke of Hastings, leading you along this dramatic waltz, had been a constant in the entirety of your life. It was in these very balls that he had happened to stumble upon you, a child barely touching your second decade with a children’s book buried in your face. He, the exact same age but with much more excitement, snatched that book from your hands and made you leave your seat, chasing the boy around the ballroom till you burst into tears. After that rather unfortunate event, you vowed never to be in the same room as him, but you somehow ended up being his best friend instead.
Maybe it was because both of you had overbearing parents, driven by pressures of society and personal expectations. Or maybe it was the simple notion that after a while, you began to enjoy his eccentric behaviour and rather addictive smiles.
Perhaps it was better that way, too. For you could not imagine life without Hwang Hyunjin.
Your gaze was apologetic. “I do, blondie,” you supposed, but you steeled yourself once more. “But I have a condition!”
“And what condition would that be?” he asked, swirling you around and around, waiting for the climax to strike any second. The ladies around you were breathless, ecstatic, the gentlemen smug, but you and the duke had only business in your minds.
“Promise me that we remain the same,” you said, never leaving his sight when the music boomed across the ballroom, raw melodies dancing along with everyone within the four golden walls. His grip on you was firm, unflinching as he spun you across the marble floor one last time, dark boots never missing a single note as he nearly swept you away from the chaos of society. “Promise me that you and I will not change.”
And as the music drifted to an end, he finally slowed down. There was a moment of silence, heavier still under his stare. 
“I cannot promise you that.”
His next words sent the strangest sensation down your spine. 
“For we would not be friends anymore. We would be husband and wife.” 
The ballroom erupted into applause.
You blinked back at the new noise, head darting at the couples beginning to clap at the ended dance. Although the others began to depart, the two of you lingered on the floor, hands still clasped. 
His stare never faltered. “I cannot promise you that,” he repeated, slowly shaking his head. “Nor can I guarantee you continuity. 
“What I can promise, though, is that I will not take away your freedom. You may write as much as you wish.”
It was then his hold on you eased, stepping away as he held out the book — never dropped from his hand, but firm as he brought it before you, a silent offer.
“What do you say, angel?” His gaze was impenetrable. “Will you be my wife?”
Among the lords and ladies, there was only you and him.
You and him against the world.
It was difficult, finding allies in a time you lived in. Reminded of your mother, you had a terrible feeling that only doom would fall upon you if you refused his help. 
With good reason, too. No man could match what Hyunjin offered. No man would ever let you pursue your literary passions. 
Not a singular male in this society would ever care for your basic freedom, other than he.
Another first, then. 
So, in the middle of the ballroom, with your mother watching, you held onto the book, gripping it with a firm promise.
You dared not depart from the Duke of Hastings’ stare.
“Yes, blondie.”
You exposed a smile, a mocking quirk in your brow.
“A thousand times yes.”
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THE WEDDING HAPPENED QUITE IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT NIGHT.
You insisted the wedding be small and intimate, for the ceremonies were already boring enough, but both your mother and Hyunjin insisted it be a grand occasion. 
The two of you tied the knot at Fulham Palace, a most esteemed estate dating back centuries, adorned in the finest flowers and gifts of nature surrounding its red-bricked walls. You had been there often in your childhood, due to the place being situated at the heart of your friend’s lands outside of the city, but seeing it decorated for your own wedding elevated the speciality of this abbey.
Many of London’s lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses had rushed to your invitation, fawning over the festivities and seated impatiently on the uncomfortable seating to await your arrival. Your friends, some bridesmaids, prepared your hair and fixed your dress, ordering everyone to take their places and sounding the instruments behind the altar to begin playing.
In truth, the ceremony was a blur.
Because this whole occasion was merely a plan, you did not deign to remember the memorable details of each event, the people who came or even the words recited by the priest.
However, the one figure you could not forget was your best friend.
No, you could not forget his face as you walked up to him slowly. It was a sight you had seen him expose only a few times in his life, when he would observe a flower open its petals in the morning, or regard a particular enchanting piece of artwork in an exhibition, which he would refuse to walk away from. You had raised a quizzical brow at him then as you slid the ring upon his finger, but he only offered you a wink, expression fading when the priest addressed you both.
Of course, another little detail you distinctly remembered was the declaration. The words which sealed a woman’s imprisonment.
“I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Your gaze had darted to Hyunjin at that, finding him staring at you already. Meeting his gaze, you found the comfort you hoped you would receive.
The Duke of Hastings will not throw you into the cages of matrimony. 
This very thought had relieved your nerves as you thanked every guest who congratulated you on the wedding, a few friends wiggling their eyebrows and wishing luck for the honeymoon. You waved them off, not really understanding the connotations, but carried on struggling at the reception until the sun had descended, and it was time for everyone to return home. 
That very evening, the two of you set off for this particular honeymoon.
You bid your farewells to your mother, she much too emotional for your liking, and because Hyunjin had no parents to bid his farewells to, the wedding carriage was up and running before the moon had taken reins of the night sky. 
Conversation never ran dry as you journeyed out of the din of London and into the countryside. Your destination was a couple of hours away, so rest was mostly out of the question as the carriage sped on, eager to get the newlyweds to their new home. 
It was well into the night when you arrived at Hemingford Manor, one of the many estates Hyunjin had ownership of ever since his father’s passing. Engulfed within the lush nature of Cambridgeshire, the little estate exuded a comfortable sort of radiance which you would expect from warm fires of winter. The gardens surrounding its walls was a whole maze of trees, bushes and an assortment of flowers, heightening its already ancient regality. 
The arrangements were made immediately, a small household welcoming you at the door as they took your luggage, unpacking everything as Hyunjin showed you around. It was extremely intimate, you noticed, every feature of any room possessing an unusual air well before your time, almost telling a story of theirs from centuries ago. 
He brought you to the bedroom, the grand bed instantly in sight as it’s curtains were fully drawn around its wooden columns, bedsheets black and red with gold thread stitched in swirls at the hems. Two ornate chairs sat beside the windows, and a huge dresser sat opposite the bed, beside it the door to the en-suite bathroom. Oil paintings littered the red walls of his ancestors, noticing your friend’s portrait made in his youth. The entire room radiated warmth, and you found yourself easing completely in his den.
“Well, I guess I should prepare for sleep,” you began, shrugging off your coat, walking over to the chairs and  settling it upon one of the arms. 
Hyunjin blinked back, as if his thoughts had been interrupted. “Ah, yes, of course.” He gestured to the bed. “You can have this room. I can stay in the one next door.”
You looked at him as if he was insane. “Do a husband and wife not share the same bedroom?”
“Well—” the man put his hands on his hips. “Yes, but I do not want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable?” You stepped towards him, quite offended. “Have you forgotten when we would sleep in the same bed whenever I stayed at yours for the summer?”
He narrowed his eyes at you. “We were children then, sweetheart. The situation is quite different now.”
“No, it is not,” you countered, matching his stance. “You were my dearest friend before, and you are my dearest friend now. That will always stay the same.”
That certainly quietened his tongue. He studied the stubborn quirk of your lips before sighing, unbuttoning his waistcoat. “Fine,” he quipped. “But I will not hesitate to throw you off the bed if you hog the sheets!”
You only offered him a scoff in response.
As the both of you began to ready yourself for bed, you opened your bag, making sure your papers were still intact. Counting up your drafts, you hummed in satisfaction before tying up the bag once again, setting it beside the dresser. Now, in your white nightgown, you went to the grand bed, slipping into the sheets. 
Grabbing hold of Pride and Prejudice, you continued reading from where you left off as you waited for Hyunjin to be suitably dressed for slumber. You hoped he would take longer than usual, but he disappointed you, as the fool always does, by arriving much earlier, frilled-collared shirt all loose and trousers all slack. 
The minute he saw you reading, he let out a groan. Leaning over, he snatched the book right out of your hands. “Hey!” You exclaimed, trying to take it back, but he stretched his hand away from you, propping it not-so-gently upon his bedside table. “Oh my God, not that harshly, you oaf! The book could tear!”
“I do not care!” He jeered, sliding into the sheets, propping his elbow so his hand supported his head. He swiped his locks away from his face, showing his full irritation. “Having your nose in a book on our wedding night!”
“Mr. Darcy was entertaining me just fine,” you sniped, crossing your arms. “You just had to be a Wickham and ruin the whole experience.”
“If this Wickham is a gift from the Lord Himself, then damn do I accept his name with pride!”
His ignorance made you laugh. Sliding your eyes to him, you matched his position, snuggling further into the pillows. “What does one even do on the wedding night anyway?”
Hyunjin’s amusement faltered at this, plush mouth parting ever so slightly. 
The Duke knew exactly what one does on the wedding night. 
As he raked his gaze over you, you waiting patiently for his answer, he wondered whether he should answer you truthfully. Tell you that he should be towering over you, kiss those pretty lips until they’re swollen and spit-slick, and take off that nightgown and uncover you before the stars. It was only customary, but the thought had his insides churning.
So he decided completely against it, to his absolute disappointment.
“How would I know? It is my first marriage as well.”
“Yes, but you’re aware of the ladies, and the gossip.” You leaned closer to him, unaware that the man’s heart halted for a second at the mere action. “When the guests were wishing me luck on my honeymoon they kept chuckling like children, as if they were in on a secret I was excluded from.”
“To hell with the guests, angel.” Hyunjin patted on your pillows, urging you to put your head down. “Our joining was very different from theirs. We can make our own rules.”
“Finally, an intelligent word from you!” You declared, but yelped as he pressed his hand on your head, sending you to the cushions. “Too harsh!”
“As I said, own rules,” he reminded you, a smile curling his lips. “Now please sleep! It is well past midnight.”
You shook your head no, resting your head in your arms. “Come on, Hyunjin! We have the whole night to ourselves, and you wish to sleep?”
Yes, he very much did. Because if he kept looking at you, excited and giggly and adorable, the tight leash he kept on himself would snap. 
He could not have his hands on you on the very first night. Not when you had no knowledge of what that meant.
“Well then,” he started, using all the strength in him to not curl a stray lock around your ear. “Tell me of your writings.”
His request had you face burning. “Never.”
The man made a face. “What?” He demanded, nudging you with his fingers. “Now you must tell me!”
“No, not now,” you hurried off, hiding your face in the pillows. God, the thought of your friend reading anything of yours made you sick to the stomach. “Argh!”
“But why?” he asked, a beginning of a pout etching onto his lips. “Do you not trust me, even though I have tolerated you for all these years?”
You turned to him again, furrowing your brows. “I do trust you!” You reassured him. “And I will tell you at the right time. Just...not at this moment.”
When you saw a frown develop on his face, you pouted at him, shame coursing through your bones. “To tell you the truth, Hyunjin, I am just embarrassed. It is so rough at the moment, so I want to show you the very best.”
“But I want to see everything,” he muttered. “Your worst and your best.”
“And you will see it!” You reached out, wrapping your fingers around his slender hand. The boy gaped at you at the sudden contact, but you continued. “You will be the first to see my drafts. I give you my word.”
The honest consolation brought the duke to a stillness. Hand enveloped by your fingers, he watched you await his reaction. 
Being the first to see your private writings was truly an asset. A special secret he would never share to another. 
“I wait patiently for that time, then,” he said, offering you a smile which melted your heart. “Now, I beg, sleep!” he added, bringing the sheets up to your chin. “I can tell you’re exhausted.”
Knowing your whining would be of no use, you looked at him through heavy-lidded eyes. “Fine, you absolute bother.” You closed your eyes. “Goodnight, blondie.”
A small chuckle escaped him, never forgetting the hold you had over his hand. He regarded over your resting figure, curling ever so slightly next to him, and he just could not help himself.
Stretching out his other hand, his fingers tucked away your stray locks from your face, curling them behind your ear. The smile ghosted on his lips, and only then he sank further into the pillows.
“Goodnight, angel.”
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 MARITAL LIFE WAS NOT AS TERRIBLE AS YOU IMAGINED IT TO BE.
A couple of weeks had passed as this ‘honeymoon’ period progressed in Hemingford, and you were beginning to settle in quite nicely to the peaceful time. The birds never ceased to chirp joyfully around the manor, the nature which engulfed the two of you like another living being surrounding you, silent yet welcoming. 
The scenery was perfect for someone like you, who was waiting for an environment like this to bring out the papers and put that inspiration to use. Hours rushed by as you sat under the trees beside the manor, writing away the scenes in your head as the maids brought you food. A few of those hours may have just been wasted on daydreaming, but that was the beauty of this entire situation — you simply had the time to waste in this retreat. 
Hyunjin had been more than satisfactory: he always came to dine with you for all meals, never concluding conversation, and made sure to accompany you on walks around the lands. Everytime you would step into new landmarks he would instantly recall the history behind it, explaining the work his forefathers had done on the manor, and lead you along till the sun followed you two down the horizon. 
You had initial fears. Just because he was your best friend before, it did not predict what his behaviour would be after marriage. You had heard many marital horror stories during the seasons of London society, and each one was worse than the last. Although you always knew the duke could never hurt you, there was no trusting the opposite sex. Fortunately for you, he rid those doubts from your mind, and maybe you began to have faith in the future.
There was, however, a downside to your new husband.
“Why will you not show me the drafts?!” he whined for the last time, following you into the house. Rolling your eyes for the millionth time, you took off your bonnet, handing it to the maid nearby. “I have waited long enough!” 
“I do not have to explain myself to you!” you argued back, grabbing your skirts as you rushed up the stairs, Hyunjin right at your heels. 
The man was much too quick, overtaking you instantly and barring you from stepping into the hallway. A groan was your reaction. “Let me through!” you ordered. 
“Tell me what your book is about.”
“I am not telling you anything!”
He curved closer to you, blond locks sliding off his shoulders. “Why?” he hissed, and you stayed stubborn as his hand on the bannister snuck closer to yours. “What have you written in there that is so exclusive?”
You bit the inside of your cheek, crossing your arms. 
It was not like you had written an anti-Duke of Hastings manifesto. Once again, it was just your humiliation — although you loved to write, there was absolutely no way you could ever willingly show him your work as of this moment.
You could not have your best friend be disappointed by your creations. 
So you turned completely on your heel, descending down the stairs.
“Hey!” you heard the man shout as you stepped into the entryway, picking up your book. “Where are you going?”
“To talk to the trees!” You looked over your shoulder, making sure to give him a glare.”Because I know they will not argue back!”
Before he could speak any more, you thundered out of the house, taking Pride and Prejudice with you. 
An enraged sigh escaped you, walking rapidly into the maze of hedges as you tried to stroll the anger away. When these silly arguments occurred, you began to wish that you had never told him of your work in progress. You could have just admitted that you liked to write, and feared that any other men would rob you off that hobby.
And on the last day of your honeymoon, too. Maybe you should have told him you were illiterate instead. 
Settling yourself upon the white wooden bench, right beside the forest, you opened up your book, gritting your teeth still as you immersed yourself in the world of Elizabeth Bennet. Although progressing, your thoughts drifted to another man who did not reside in the pages, and you found yourself even more aggravated.
Damned the beautiful bastard. Of course you were going to tell him of your writings. Why could he not simply wait?
The thought had you rigid on the bench as you read on, the mere wind and trees your silent company as you read away your rage. The duke did not come searching for you — it was for the better, because if he tried you would have ran away from his stalking figure. 
Night ascended from the horizons, and as the sun retreated so did you, back into the manor, book at your side. You nodded to the guards who opened the huge doors for you, letting you inside as you went straight for the stairs, void of the man who refused to let you pass.
Dim lights illuminating the way, you walked right up until your bedroom door greeted you, and when you saw Hyunjin, leaned back in the ornate chair as he looked out of the window, you paused at the entrance.
Although your steps were quiet, he turned his head to you. His features held a veil of unreadable emotions, cemented by the slight down curve of his mouth. 
You scowled at him as you stepped inside. “I am not showing you the drafts.”
He closed his eyes, nodding. “As you wish.”
You removed your coat, a brow raising. “I won’t show them to you tomorrow either.”
“As you say.”
Another brow joined its partner. “Nor will I show you them the next week.”
“Of course.”
What was this sudden change? “Hyunjin, are you unwell?”
“I am perfectly adequate, darling.”
The endearment had you frowning further. “Fine,” you muttered, knowing he was hiding something from you. “I will be inside, taking a bath.” 
You were about to enter the bathroom when his voice halted you.
“____?”
Looking over your shoulder, you answered, “Yes?”
The man let out a soft sigh, crossing his leg over the other. “I...I wanted to say that I apologise for my persistence.”
Now that was a statement you were not expecting. You opened your mouth, but closed it, thinking it was for the better, and instead leaned at the doorway.
“I…” he clasped his hands. “I realised that as I insisted and shouted, I was becoming the very man you wished to avoid. That is the last thing I want for us. If you are uncomfortable in showing me your writings, that is fine. A husband, most of all a best friend, should respect that decision.”
His eyes lifted to yours, pinning you with a fierce stare. “I will not persist with you anymore.”
You found yourself unable to break this stare as you, too, locked your hands together, biting your bottom lip at this turnout.
The duke had never apologised for anything.
In the many years you had known him, he would always stand by his decisions, even if they turned out to be disastrously against his favour. His stubbornness refused to let him submit to the other, and you had watched him have his boney backside beaten almost every week for it.
Hearing the plea for forgiveness had certainly changed that perception. 
You took a few steps toward him, willing your hands at your sides as his gaze followed. 
Was the denial really necessary? The poor man only wished to take a glimpse into your mind. Was that too much for him to ask for?
No. You had to stay upright. So what if he apologised? He should have! The man had caused a ringing in your ears from the arguing.
But now, even though the entire time your body repulsed at the thought before, you found yourself reaching for your satchel.
His eyes did not leave your hands as you brought out the papers, dumping your bag beside his feet. You held them out, knowing there is no way out of your actions.
“Here.”
Hyunjin looked at the papers as if they were hemlock. “Why are you showing me your drafts?”
You pursed your lips. “Because I want you to eat them.”
“I have no appetite for paper this evening, I’m afraid.”
The attitude had you warning, “Do you want to read it or not?”
He regarded you with an adorable puzzlement. “Darling,” he started, and the word had you raising it closer to him. “You do not have to show me. I cannot have you forcing to do something which you do not—”
“You’re not.”
He paused. Kept that beguiling stare upon you. You carried on, “Hyunjin, I need you to understand that it was never anything personal. It was me just...not really believing in myself.” Gently putting the small stack of papers in on his lap, you locked your hands behind your back. “But I gave you my word on our wedding night. And the day you proposed, and the day I realised you were a dear friend to me.
“You will be my first for everything. Especially in the goals and dreams I treasure the most.”
The duke’s eyes enlarged, darting to the drafts settled on his thighs and then to you, capturing your lip between your teeth in nervousness. He wished ardently that you would break that habit, for if you kept at it he might just grab your face and continue for you.
My first for everything. The declaration had his stomach turning in on itself. He knew he had been there for many of your firsts, but saying it out loud was something else. Saying it out loud meant you were aware of that fact as well. 
So unimaginable, that you did not even realise the impact you had on him. So unbelievably innocent, eyes searching for his answer, desperate for consolation, when he had completely different matters in mind. 
By God, if you did not turn around and leave him, he would let the control on him falter.
“I...I need to take a long bath, Hyunjin,” you said, finding his stare unusually penetrating. “By the time I am done you would have finished reading half of it.”
Turning, you stalked back to the bathroom, looking over your shoulder as you took a step inside. “No sweetening the feedback.”
You did not wait for his answer as you went inside, shutting the door.
Both of you, not realising that the other was doing so, let out a quivering sigh.
Something was amiss. 
There was this...tension. You did not know the origin, but you knew it was there, underlying and creeping closer. Hyunjin was unusually quiet. Compliant even. A small part of you feared that maybe you should not have given him the most vulnerable possession in your care.
Deciding to fill the hot water in the bath yourself, you got on with your task, filling buckets of water in the copper bathtub till it nearly overflowed. Once done, you got rid of your clothes, and stepped inside. You instantly relaxed as the warmth of the water soaked your skin, calming your nerves, which were running high moments before. 
As you progressed with using the soap, you distinctly heard the pages turning in the room next door. Scrubbing yourself, you hoped that the man was enjoying your words, or else you were never leaving this bathtub again. 
At one point, you leaned your head back, closing your eyes as the water, now mixed with the scent of roses, lapped lazily against you. Your thoughts, once again, wandered to the man a wall away from you — what was he thinking? You wished you were there beside him, witnessing his reactions to the actions, dialogue, romance you had added in there.
Maybe that was the real problem. The couple you had added in this story had a strong relationship, but because you yourself had never experienced any sort of star-crossed love, you did not particularly know how to portray the raw romance. Still, you made sure they held hands in the ballroom at chapter 49. That was the pace in every other book you read, anyway.
After what seemed like a whole night later, you finally got out of the water, drying yourself with the towel hanging beside the tub. Grabbing your white nightgown, you donned the light dress, keeping it as loose as possible as you tried to dry your hair further, opening the door.
When you looked up, you saw the duke, head down, scanning through the papers with a face so focused it worried you. You made to say his name, but his hand shot up, silencing you. He did not even glance at your figure, bringing the hand back to swipe a finished page. 
A little smile appeared on your lips. Is he...invested? 
Does he enjoy your writing?
Another ten minutes of observing him, and he put the last paper down. 
Slowly, he tilted his head upwards, turning to where you stood. His face expressed something cryptic — unable to decipher the emotion which swirled beneath his dark, glinting eyes. 
He then let out a scoff.
“Darling, I need you to sit.” He gestured beside him, on the edge of the bed. “Right here.”
Perplexed, you obliged, settling yourself on the soft sheets, watching him heave off his chair, the last piece of your draft still in hand. He began a pace back and forth across the room, shaking his head as he turned at every end.
The pacing began to concern you. “Hyunjin, is something the matter?” you asked, hands grabbing tufts of your nightgown. “If you really wish to walk then you have all of Cambridgeshire waiting.”
“Tell me, dearest,” he said, still thundering across the room. “Remind me why you did not want to show me your drafts.”
That was an usual first comment. “Umm...because I was embarrassed about my writing?” 
Your answer made him stop. Whirl to your direction.
“Ah, yes!”
His features twisted into anger.
“Such poppycock!”
You blinked back. “I-pardon?”
“No, you shall not be pardoned!” he exclaimed, pointing at you with the stash of papers. “Not when you have written something like this!”
“Hyunjin, what do you mean?”
The man nearly ripped his hair out. 
“____, you have written a bloody masterpiece!”
Your entire body stilled.
“I...I did what?”
“Wrote a masterpiece!” He swiped through the pages, lighting up at each word that passed his gaze. “A bestseller! An award winning novel!” 
A smile worked its way onto your lips. “You...you really think so?”
Sighing out in exasperation, he set the papers upon the desk as he began to lose his initial anger. “How could you be embarrassed about something so beautiful?” He put his hand on the gold chair, leaning onto its head. “Your descriptions were lovely, the characters are perfectly imperfect. You have outdone a lot of the writers in circulation.”
Your shoulders sagged a little — almost as if you had been carrying a heavy burden, and this man had taken it off of you.
You made sure he saw your joy when you said, “Thank you, blondie.”
Seeing the pure contentment upon your face had your friend looking away, eyes narrowing to the plans once again.
“There was, however, one thing which needed improvement.”
The setback had you straightening once again, eager to hear. At least he was not sweetening it fully. “Go on.”
“As I was reading through, right till the end, I noticed a lack of very important details.” 
That was quite strange. “A lack of?” you asked, when you were so sure that you had added too much of everything.
“Yes.”
His fingers drummed against the velvet of the chair. His other hand tightened upon his hip.
“I noticed that there was a deep lack of...passion.”
An incredulous look was your reply. “Passion?”
“Yes, passion. Desire.” He jerked his head towards the papers. “I hardly saw any of those emotions in the book.”
This new information was certainly quite worrying for you. “But I do not understand,” you started. “My whole novel is based on this relationship, of the love that blossoms and grows—”
“I understand that, darling, I really do,” he said. “I know what you are going to say.” 
The drumming continued. “But where is that residing in the chapters? Where is that physical lust implied in the characters?”
Lust. 
You had heard of the word before. Heard of its implications, yet never grasped the weight of its meaning. Was it just another form of longing? 
If only your mother had given you an education on this side of love.
“What do you mean...lust?”
Hyunjin raised a groomed brow. “What else could I mean, angel?”
The way he voiced that question, that endearment, had you parting your mouth, unable to say anything. You tried to speak, to say something to ease the tension which came slithering back into the bedroom.
“I...what were you expecting? From the relationship.”
Curling his locks behind his ear, his gaze became obscure. “You spoke of forbidden love, of...of a coupling which should not be occurring but happened through the fate of the universe. Is that right?”
When you nodded, he carried on. “See, I did not sense that from their exchanges. Their emotions are tame, chaste. An innocence which cannot be tainted.
“Now where is the fun in that?”
You dared not break his gaze. “What is that ’fun’?”
His eyes seemed to darken. “That ‘fun’ in the relationship is physicality. Where is that in your novel?” 
He took a step towards you. “Where are the unbreaking stares? The curious hands, aching to caress another’s? Where are the trembling breaths, the lust-stained sighs that fan lovers’ lips?”
The duke had you craning your neck back as he looked down at you. “Where are the kisses, my darling?”
You gulped. “K-kisses?”
“Yes, kisses,” he repeated softly. “Lips enveloping lips, tasting your inner workings? Travelling to your neck, your collarbone...places which cannot even be whispered in polite society?”
Each part he mentioned had goosebumps pricking at that certain place. 
The bastard still did not stop. “Where is that passion, ____? Where is that forbidden love, which only makes the heart burn wilder?”
And as he descended before you on his knees, delicate hands settling on your lap, you had a feeling swirl up your sides which had never struck you before.
“If I were the man in your book, I would not be tame with you.” 
His eyes offered a new, intimidating darkness. “Because if you were my woman, then I do not think I’d control myself. The moment I’d catch the innocence dancing in your eyes, I’d have waltzed it away into my shadows.
“Only God could save you from my hunger, then.”
Silence descended upon the two of you.
One waiting for the other to speak, and the other unable to form the words to do so.
The moon had illuminated your husband, one side of his face glowing like a celestial being, the other side basked in darkness. How strange, when he had compared himself to it just a few moments before.
You seemed unable to look away from him. His gaze, always intense, now had become so penetrating you wondered whether he could glance at your soul, quivering from his feedback. 
Improvements which you still did not quite comprehend, despite the implications.
Somehow, he could see it on your face. “I have a feeling you still do not grasp the idea. Is that correct?”
A half nod. “I…” God, speak! “I just...I have never understood it, Hyunjin.”
Your head dipped down, darting at the plains of your hands. “You asked me about lust, and I simply cannot answer because I do not know. I have never experienced such emotion.
“Hell, I have not witnessed a single action that you spoke of. How could you expect me to write of desires I have never even felt?”
This.
This was unchartered territory. This was a terrain you had not explored with him.
Yes, he was your best friend. But one does not talk of such...dangerous conservation when your best friend happens to be a male — a complete rake, at that.
It seemed as if the rake, too, was thinking the same. 
His legs, a force which had never let him down, threatened to buckle under him. His mouth opened, only for silence to answer you. 
Lord and all His subjects help him. He did not think he could contain it any longer.
And as his eyes exposed you, vulnerable before him, he only knew of one thing — one fact within this ocean of uncertainty you swam in.
He would jump into the waters for you. But not to haul you out to safety.
No, the duke would drag you down further, with him as your sole saviour.
Or even your destroyer. Your fated undoing.
For the Duke of Hastings will absolutely ruin you, body and soul.
“Hyunjin?”
A blink.
A singular action, dragging him back to dark, dark reality, even sweeter than his fantasies as it sat before him, shy and wide-eyed.
An innocent reality all for him to defile.
“Yes, angel?”
You tried not to shudder at his lilting whisper. “How am I to be helped?”
The man did not even think of the possibilities, to your surprise.
If only you knew, how long he had kept them hidden for.
“How about...how about I assist you?”
Confusion washed over your features. “And how would you assist me, Hyunjin? You have never written a novel.”
His answer was a chuckle, revealing slight glimpses of his teeth as he stood.
“That is true, yes.”
Sitting down beside you, he planted his hands behind him on the bed, leaning into the position. 
“But what I can provide aid for is the one feature you lack in your writing.”
His voice right behind gave you a fright.
“Pure, raw lust.”
Looking over yourself, you watched him reclined in ease. Your speech was uneven as you said, “And...and how will you help me with that?”
“Simple, my darling.” A pause, looking you over. “I shall provide you with examples. Show you what truly happens between a man and woman when all they yearn for is each other.”
He saw the further questions in your gaze. The questions you dared not voice out loud, perhaps dared not understand. 
Smirking, he sat himself up, eyes never leaving yours as his hands encircled your own, bunched up in your dress. As his fingers brushed against your linen he felt his skin go aflame. 
“If, of course, you would let me.”
Tilting your head slightly upwards, you sensed a foreign warmth envelop your face, burning at the sight of your friend studying you like an empty canvas, begging to be filled.
Perhaps you were an empty sheet of paper, waiting to be painted with guidance by the master. Maybe that master was beside you all along.
“What will you do to me, Hyunjin?”
There it was. The question which may have been his drug — his purest form of opium. 
Because when his hands travelled upwards, sliding to your face and imprisoning you with his stare, he knew he would become addicted.
“Not only show you what real passion looks like.”
A shame he did not care for his well-being when you were so fucking tempting.
“But show you what real passion tastes like.”
The shuddering breath that left you caressed Hyunjin’s lips, and he debated throwing the whole course of patience out of the window, and ravage you this second.
But he would never do that. Not unless you asked him to. 
“May I?” He whispered, eyes heavy lidded. The need for an answer was beyond rationality.
You looked at him one last time before you let your heart answer for you.
“Show me, Hyunjin. 
Those three words were all it took for the duke to close the distance. 
Close the final space which had stayed so irritably prevalent, when he brushed his lips against yours. 
The first thought that came to mind was how soft his mouth felt. 
Plush lips, moving against yours with the utmost gentleness; as if testing the waters, familiarising their new surroundings. He did not know what to expect, which was a thought that shocked him. Had he not bedded half of London to know the ins and outs of how a man should pleasure a woman?
Still, his vast knowledge could not prepare him for you and your shy acceptance.
His fingers cradling your jaw, satisfied, he delved in a little deeper, the weathered leash beginning to loosen as he found his opium upon your mouth.
You attempted to follow his actions — letting him lead the kiss as if it were the many dances you had partaken with him, treating this as yet another waltz you both had to share. The issue was, dancing never brought you the unnerving thrill that these ministrations did.
Hyunjin’s kisses were quite indescribable. 
When he tilted your head with the pressure of his fingers, gaining the fullest possible access to your lips, he thought his heart would burst from his chest. So compliant, you were, trailing after his actions. His pleasure heightened when he felt your heartbeat race beneath his fingertips, which resided just underneath your jaw. 
He would have been a happy man if he continued the kiss forever, but he forced himself to break away, remembering that this was your first, that you were not acquainted with the dance of passion. His gaze pried over your features, and a famished smile nearly broke upon his face.
He found you shivering beneath his grasp.
Lips glistening, courtesy of his own, eyes wide and skin warm, there was no other reaction which the duke would have savoured more. A fearful excitement resided upon your beautiful face — almost as if you were scared of yourself, of the feelings he ignited within you.
The man was not far from his prediction. You were positively terrified.
Terrified of the fire-like emotion that threatened to turn your stomach in on itself. It was an extraordinary sensation — as if you were engulfed by some unknown, mysterious fire, and Hyunjin was the one sparking it to life.
You parted your mouth, trying to speak but to no fruition. 
And him, whose eyes grew darker at the lack of words, curled his fingers to your jaw, smirking. “I can hear your heartbeat from here, darling.” A singular finger tapped against the spot, where your blood pumped quicker than usual. 
Your heartbeat thrummed in your ears too, making you all the more aware of the situation — you may not know what these feelings were, but you needed to find out.
It was not entirely your fault. A writer must do their research, after all.
Painfully swallowing the lump in your throat, you made yourself speak, asking the questions which haunted you. “Is...is this all?” you got out.
Hyunjin slanted his head a little, narrowing his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“You know…” your hands instinctively reached for your lips. “What we just did. Is that all that happens?”
The hesitation had him chuckling, the shaky exhale caressing your mouth. “Do not pretend that you were unaware of kisses,” he mused, and you desperately tried to look away. 
The slight grip on your jaw had you unable to do so. “And as for your question…” the smirk remained. “We have barely touched the surface.”
His other hand skirting downwards, it grazed along your collarbone, tumbling to the free space at your side. It settled itself among the bunched linen, holding you steady. 
“I can show you more,” he whispered. “If only you wish it.”
Face burning further, you closed your eyes, letting your head dip in acceptance. You could not even think at this point — you were curious. Beyond intrigued, wondering whether these feelings would swell up more, take you into another reality farther from your imagination.
It was a slight inconvenience that Hyunjin shook his head. 
“No, my darling,” he said softly, the fingers on your jaw sliding to your chin. “I want you to say it. Say you want more.”
You had not the slightest idea what this ‘more’ was, but you sure wished to discover — judging by the ravenous gleam in your husband’s stare, he wished for you to find out too.
“Fine then, Hyunjin…” one last pause ensued. “I...I want more.”
The said-man let a small groan escape before capturing your lips again. 
He knew he was being selfish — almost pouncing on you like a man starved, grip on your side tightening as he quickened his pace, slowly prying your lips open.
When you felt his tongue skim along the seam of your mouth, you found yourself opening up to him, shocked at the sudden enthusiasm. Your hands, unoccupied, fumbled at your lap, unsure of their use until Hyunjin, his own hands leaving you, held onto them. 
With precise direction he placed them on his shoulders, all the while slithering his tongue inside. You found yourself gripping onto him harder as he explored you, he himself nearly transcending at your yielding. A groan threatened to escape, but was drowned out by his mouth, closing over yours and kissing you insane. 
His tongue worked wonders within you, swirling along with yours, desperation increasing with every time you complied with his actions. He opened your lips a little wider, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip, and you could not contain your moans any longer. The whimpered replies had him tugging on your lip, slowly sinking his teeth on the swollen flesh. Your fingers could not grasp harder, the lock around his neck tightening with a growing need.
Is that what it all was? Urgency? What was this need for?
You hoped with all your heart that Hyunjin would know.
He pulled away from your mouth, and with gasped breaths, he got out, “Angel, may I—” His thumb caressed the corners of your lips, trailing down to your neck. “May I kiss you here—?” 
The second the ragged yes escaped, the man’s mouth began peppering little kisses along his finger’s trail, leaving your skin burning with every touch. Dipping his head into your neck, he tugged down the neckline of your gown, settling on your collarbone. The hem descended to your shoulders, threatening to fall at your waist. 
His kisses did not falter, even when you gasped out his name, a soft cry which only grew when his teeth grazed at your skin. Pain bloomed at the touch, but the feeling did not last long, replacing it with his tongue lapping up the mark. The dull ache remained, yet forgotten as he created a pattern of these stinging sensations.
“____,” he whispered upon your skin, a hypnotic chant which only had you whining in response. His mouth skimmed right up to your ear in frantic. “I...I must show you even more.”
You stilled completely. “E-even more?”
Hyunjin’s eyes did not leave yours as his hands travelled down, holding onto your sides. Slowly, he tugged you forward, your body merely following as he laid you down into the bed. Your heart hammered as he towered over you, the loose shirt revealing a glimpse of his chest, and his locks, drooping down to your face.
Your hands held onto the sheets. The gesture had him melting, so endeared by your little scares. What would you know of what will follow?
His idle fingers began to roam. With every shuddering breath they journeyed further below, until they found the hem of your nightgown. He held onto the fabric, slowly sliding it upwards. 
You hissed slightly at the cold that welcomed your bare legs, but it was overshadowed by his warm caresses, every touch causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. Or something of the sort. That was what it felt like to you, anyway, with how out of place the reaction was. 
You asked him as his fingers paused, right on the edges of your upper thighs. Confusion, mixed with an overwhelming sensation, washed over you with every phantom touch. “What are you—” you paused as his hand tugged your legs open, ever so slightly. “What are you to do with your fingers?”
His answering gaze had you praying for the Lord. “How about I show you instead?” The contact lingered. “I promise it will feel wonderful.”
There was no other answer you could offer him. A hasty nod could only suffice as, with that signal, the duke braced himself for what he had been dreaming to do.
Nothing prepared you for the feeling of his fingers past your thighs. 
Your breathing hitched as they teased against your entrance, running slowly along your slit. He collected the arousal which pooled at the apex, mouth agape from your reaction. 
How you were drenched for him. 
The very sight, and the prolonging idea, had the man exhaling sharply. Even now, he could see in your gaze — you were unaware of your own responses, your body’s hurried joy as it begged for his fingers to delve in further. 
Tonight, he would show you a glimpse of his fantasies. 
His one finger slipped inside you, and you felt the world turn.
Slowly, so painfully slow it slid between your folds, completely halting your breath as you gaped at him. He held your stare with a dark intensity — no doubt there was hesitation on his part, scared his control would shatter, terrified he would submit to your desire and break you under his hold. Already the thought was so appealing. 
Still, he kept his fantasies at bay, holding your face like a fragile artifact as he delved deeper. A soft moan escaped your lips, and he cocked his head, realising it was a whine you tried to contain. 
“Angel, please,” he murmured, and when he paused on his journey you looked at him in desperation. “Don’t be shy with me.”
And then, grip on your side tightening, he began to pull his finger out.
This time, it was impossible to restrain. 
A heightened gasp shuddered out of you, gripping onto his shirt. How could an action so simple be so electrifying? The idea could not make any sense, but it did not need to when it brought such pleasure. You pulled on the fabric harder, elevating Hyunjin’s joy at seeing you so bothered.
“Yes, just like this,” he cooed, repeating the movement. This time, though, he quickened the pace as he began peppering little kisses upon your face. Each brush of his lips was like fuel to the fire below, growing angrier with every leisured plunge. “Say it all for me.”
You did not need to be told twice. 
Your whines grew as he quickened, foreign waves of mysterious origin overtaking your body. You feared his singular finger might be enough to do something drastic, but then his thumb started to wander. When he found your clit, he created a slow pattern of circling the bud, causing you to squirm beneath him. 
Seeing him above you was all too much — you needed his lips upon yours, needed to be lost in his tongue or else you would lose your mind. “H-hyunjin,” you stammered out, and the dazed expression had him reeling. “Please...please kiss me.”
He nearly moaned at the request itself. There you were, asking for his touch. His delirium spoke for him, letting his delusion a little astray. “But darling,” he muttered, leaning his face closer to you. “How can I watch you like this if I simply kiss you?”
Releasing his finger till the mere pad remained, he smiled at your panting. “How will I be able to watch you when I do this—” and brought two digits inside you.
He felt your walls pulsate around him, and he revelled in your reactions, the groans that followed with his delving. So, so compliant. So wonderfully welcoming, when all he did was touch the surface. 
Your speech was all muddled, broken words and half-prayers as his fingers worked within you. As if that was not enough, he curled them inside, and there, he brushed against a spot which had you seeing stars. You could hardly stay still under his grasp, squeezing your legs together. 
“Fuck,” he slipped out, and the curse itself had you fisting your hands in his shirt, damning the turnout if it were to tear. “Sweetheart, it’s okay to let go, keep those legs open.”
Further fastening his labour, you found yourself developing the most intense feeling in your gut — like a dark, swirling ball, aching to be released. You tried to raise your head to kiss him, but he only did the same, you barely missing him.
“Hyunjin!” You gasped out, and the said-man knew that no orchestra could compete with the music you tuned for him. Grabbing clumsily onto his collar, you tried with meak strength to bring him down. “Something...it’s wrong, something is amiss—”
You cut a glance down, where your cunt was more than occupied with his digits. “Wh-what am I feeling?!” In a frenzy you stared at him again, tears pricking your eyes. “Why do I feel—”
The duke only shushed you, a gaze akin to affection being offered to you as he trailed a slender finger upon your cheek. “Oh, sweet angel,” he whispered, voice a little breathless.
“That is me keeping my promise.”
And when he finally swooped your lips in a heart-wrenching kiss, fingers never stopping below, you let the overwhelming feeling take over. The aching was freed, and you broke away with a cry as you released onto him, spilling onto the sheets. 
Hyunjin commenced a trail of sweet kisses upon your face, slowing his work inside you. Lethargy washed over you, and you barely sensed him slip his fingers out until the hollowness of your cunt welcomed you in his stead. 
Through heavy-lidded eyes, you watched him as he brought the two digits to his parted mouth, sucking softly on the skin. A low noise hummed out of him, and you found yourself growing warmer all over again.
He caught you looking at him, and he slipped his fingers out with a pop!
“Truly divine, you are.”
Skin burning, you quickly shimmied your nightgown down, earning a chuckle from your husband. “That was…” you began, and you did not know why the thought made you so flustered. 
“Do not worry your pretty mind, sweetheart,” he reassured you, flicking your nose. “Your release was answer enough.”
That only had you all the more embarrassed. “Hyunjin?”
His eyes rooted to yours. “Yes?”
“Was this…” you paused, trying to find the right words. “Was whatever we did...everything? Was this the end?”
Despite the two of you only finishing now, the duke had his gut turning in on itself all over again. This time, he let patience take over. He had been rewarded more than enough.
He still answered with a hushed tone, offering you another vision. Another promise, which he intended on fulfilling even further. 
“Of course not, angel. This was merely the beginning.”
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 THE NEXT MORNING SAW THE TWO OF YOU IN LONDON.
It was a much more gradual journey than the previous one, with all the time in the world to go back to the duke’s main estate, where he was called to work after weeks of leisure. You, first indignant, were now devastated to leave Hemingford, a place which became a special haven in such a short time. 
But of course, one could not neglect their husband. Not when that husband would never let you leave his side.
Hyunjin was all eye-smiles in the carriage, hands refusing to let go of you despite your complaints. You did not particularly mind, but when he resorted to kissing you with the curtains drawn, your levels of embarrassment nearly broke the scale, amusing him to no end. 
There was no stopping him, though. After taking the first heated step with you, the vault of restraint in his senses had cracked. All this time he had proceeded with caution, but your heightened whimpers of the night before had undone the cellar of his desires. 
Once again, you had experienced another first with him. A first which he wanted to conquer for a long, long time.
Unfortunately, business called, or else he would have stayed a few weeks more. Damn the men begging his presence, when he could have explored every layer of your innocence in that manor, revelled in ruining you of your ignorance. 
He thought he had time to show the world of pleasure. 
Alas, the fantasy he created in his Manor had to fade.
Reality crashed upon the two of you unfairly quick — there was not a moment’s rest as you arrived at Lansdowne, the official estate of the Hwang family nestled in Mayfair. It was more an enchanting palace than a home, every room, furniture and painting like pieces out of a fairytale. You could never forget the first time you entered, knowing that despite your previous comforts, you were to be spoiled in this abode. 
The unfavourable situation which turned out from this was that your husband was not present to spoil you in his royal den.
As the days began there, with banality taking over, the two of you barely had any occasion to spend some time together. Business sunk its claws into the duke, refusing to show mercy. All the days and most nights, he managed tenants on his lands, heard their complaints and attempted to provide solutions. 
The problems arose while he was away tending to you in your getaway, his subordinates incapable of handling the work he did so effortlessly. It frustrated Hyunjin to no end, when he had to learn these strategies since his adolescence, yet his employees, far older than him, could not manage to use his funds efficiently. 
Although this meant time was sparse together, you did not mind so terribly. Having solitude meant having opportunities to write, and so you threw yourself into your drafts. You revised the more intimate scenes between your couple, and dared write down your first experiences onto the page.
Even documenting the occurrence had your stomach fluttering — when he kissed you delirious, going as far as slipping his fingers inside you. It felt like a delusion in your mind, scared that you merely created such events through your imagination, but you could not not make up such passion.
Hwang Hyunjin had shown you a very tangible fantasy.
It was these memories that kept you company as you penned down your world, a couple thousand words being scrawled on paper everyday. You wished to talk to him about taking matters further with your novel, but whenever the two of you had the occasional dinners you could not bring yourself to address the subject. He was already so occupied, and dumping your own tasks on him would devastate you
So you secluded yourself into your room, and only wrote.
Few weeks into Lansdowne, and you began to miss him.
You did not know how this feeling entered, but the moment it crawled into you it was all you could endure. It was not uncommon for you to miss your dear friend, even before marriage, but now that you lived with him, the situation changed. During the afternoons, when you burned your mind from the constant writing, you longed for his presence; conversation never ran dry when he was around, and the maids who offered refreshment were hardly an alternative.
Your longing, unfortunately, did not stop there.
Ever since that fateful night, you failed in shaking off the ever present tingling. His midnight eyes, akin to the devil, haunted you in isolation, and the sheer image of his full lips quickened your heartbeat. In fact, when you wrote a similar recount into your writing, the incident came into your mind so clearly you had to abandon the task altogether. The familiar wetness pooled at your core, and you cursed the heavens for being weak.
His fingers had an everlasting impression on you.
That was a whole other problem — you and Hyunjin, because of his tightening schedule, hardly had any opportunity to explore further of what happened. Teasing words and stolen kisses were your only alternative, and you dared not ask of him to do more. Your cowardice may have been one of the main reasons, but he was another factor of your silence. The man came home every night, so exhausted that even requesting to have him satisfy you brought you shame. He was much too tired, and you could not be selfish.
So you did not bother him. Let him leave every morning, and imagine what would be if he did not have so many responsibilities.
However, another couple of weeks later, and the need became unbearable.
Your every thought and feeling was replaced with this...this urgency. It was horrifying to you, never having been forced to such extremes, but it preyed on your mind like a beast. Meaningless tasks turned into burdens, sleep was lost, and your very heart threatened to burst from the intuitions. You wished to stop, but once you remembered that phantom touch, it was over. There was simply no alternative.
During those times, you could barely look at Hyunjin, offering you tired smiles as he disappeared into your chambers. You figured he did not notice, or else you knew he would make a comment on your worsening state. Truthfully, you were overjoyed that he was too exhausted to see you like this. If there was any chance he was aware, that alone would kill you off.
But this desire, too, was slowly withering you away.
Even as the sun began to descend, birds singing softly beyond your intricate window, soon to be drawn to a close. The library was bathed in gold from the light, painting your face as you attempted to write the last of the chapter, but to little success. 
You figured your creativity had had enough of being stuck in your bedroom, so you opted for a change of scenery, but the parasite was at hand, churning just below your stomach. Even with the thousands of books settled all around you, radiating their knowledge, the ache remained, dull yet present. You scowled, pushing the pencil harder in your hand.
The poor lead broke suddenly, making you flinch. “Argh!” you let out, throwing the object upon the desk. Useless — you were so utterly useless, reduced to a mold of nerves, growing with each image that passed in your head.
Cursing, you put your hands in your lap, looking to the gardens beyond the window. 
There is nothing you can do, ____.
The need arising, you slid your palms back, enough so they rested over your core. 
A dangerous thought entered your mind.
That’s not true. There is one solution.
Your eyes widened.
Of course, there was always that alternative. Glancing down, you involuntarily pressed your palm to your clothed cunt. Already a wave of pleasure washed over you, and you suppressed any sound with a hand to your mouth.
You cannot. By God, you cannot do such a thing.
Especially in a bloody library.
Turning around, you glanced at the bookshelves guarding your figure, stretching to the painted ceiling. As an aspiring writer yourself, you cursed yourself for suggesting to do such an action in your temple, with the place your church and the books your Bible. 
However, when the ache begins to creep over, your morality seemed to fade at first flight. 
What a shame your brain was not to be listened to.
Shooting up from your chair, you nearly fell to the plush carpet, leaning against the desk. Gradually, you took a step forward, and another, searching for any secluded area among the lines upon lines of populated shelves. 
“Where is it, where is it,” you mumbled to yourself, passing the Greek Literature aisle, moving further into the darker section. When you spotted the end of the library, you turned to a dim lit section of Romantic poets. “Aha!” You exclaimed, finding the place you were searching for.
This particular section has been a favourite little hiding place for Hyunjin. Recalling the memories, you always caught him here whenever the two of you played hide-and-seek, or when to comfort him here after a particularly harsh spat with his father, the late Duke of Hastings. Above all else, he found himself isolating here whenever he wished to read by your insistence, finding solace in the words of Blake and Wordsworth, picked up on the shelves. 
You, on the other hand, did not come here to read. 
Backing up against the wall, you let yourself fall to the lush carpet. There was barely enough space to stretch your hands apart, feeling the wall on one side, and the bookshelves with the other. It was small trouble, though, as space was not the priority — simply distance. 
Thankfully, you had time — dinner would be served in about an hour, and the servants had been told not to disturb you as you ‘write’.
It was now or never.
“Lord forgive me.”
Grabbing onto your skirts, you raised them upwards, along with your petticoats. After undressing your pantalettes, your white stockings came into view, ending right above your knees, tied with baby pink ribbons. 
With your underwear gone, you felt the cold caressing your dripping cunt. Immediately your fingers rushed to swipe at the arousal that pooled onto the carpet, a hiss escaping your lips. Then, moving higher, you felt the swell of your clit, and began to rub circles, so, so slowly — just like Hyunjin did, exactly like his fingers did.
The ripples of pleasure crashed over you with every swipe of your fingers. It was the most wonderful feeling, experiencing it after a span of weeks. Yes, somewhere in the back of your rational mind, you knew you looked pathetic, whining softly from your own efforts, but your desperation took over; you had been patient long enough.
Your desire, however, had no such moments to waste with such gradual rubbing, so pent up inside you that it forced you to quicken your pace. You prayed that no one heard you, for the sobs that flew out your mouth increased, playing and teasing your clit till it nearly numbed you.
The real bliss poured out when you plunged two of your fingers into you, going deeper and creating that identical pace, relished before. You closed your eyes, and images came flashing back — the midnight eyes returned, along the malicious grin, and suddenly it was not your fingers that pulled and pushed into your cunt. Your mind dared to conjure up Hyunjin, his dark laughter ringing in your ears as he curled his fingers into you, reaching a spot which had you seeing the seven heavens. 
So far along, you did not care if the others heard. With your concoction before you, fingering you delirious, you called out his name. A panted “Hyunjin!” squealed out of you, the word laced with madness. How you begged for release, when it was actually in your control.
And maybe you would have come all over your fingers at that moment. Maybe that was a fantasy that would have been rewarded to you if reality had not been so unkind.
For it was reality that arranged a presence turning to his favourite hiding spot. For it was cruel, cruel reality, bringing at your secret aisle the very man who caused your current frenzy.
Hwang Hyunjin. 
Sweet Duke of Hastings, who thought to surprise his wife and return home early, so he could join her at dinner this evening. Curious Duke of Hastings, who found the servants informing of your ‘work’ in the library, and so walking to you himself, expecting the distant sound of sighs and scribbles on paper. 
Shocked Duke of Hastings, when he heard his name instead, being moaned at the end of his library. 
His pupils dilated, gloved fingers hanging on the edge of the shelf, he grew flushed in his attire as he watched your near undoing. You whimpered his name over and over, as if that was your only comfort among the heavy sensation in your gut, the pleasure which numbed your senses. He trailed down to your sopping fingers, clumsy in their rhythm.
A shuddered breath escaped him.
It was then he let out the most self-satisfactory scoff. 
That moment, you opened your eyes. Widened when they settled on your husband, face exposing an aghast expression as he crossed his arms, gaze never leaving the mess between your legs.
He had the audacity to grin wickedly.
“Oh my, sweet angel. What do we have here?”
Your entire body stilled, fingers frozen inside of you. Every ounce of strength, which tried to make you speak, abandoned ship. 
Noticing clearly, a splutter of hellish laughter spilled from his lips. “All this time,” he began, feline amusement dripping in his voice. “All these lonely, lonely weeks, I was so guilty.” His boots made a soft thump against the carpets, grey longcoat fluttering after him. “I kept thinking, see, of you, so alone and unentertained. Stuck in her chambers all day and night, burning out her brain with her words. Writing of my examples.”
He unbuttoned his overcoat, pinning you with his gaze. “Little did I know you were impersonating me.”
You almost cried with shame. 
“God, I doubt I can call you angel, again,” he drawled, tossing his woolen jacket behind him on a nearby chair, pulling off his gloves. 
He uncovered his slender hands, continuing, “Not with your fingers still in your cunt.”
That nearly had you in tears — you yanked your digits out, making to push your skirts down in a hurry but were dutifully stopped by his raised voice.
“Pray, darling,” he inquired, and you could taste the ridicule as he stood before you, crouching down. “What do you think you are doing?”
He did not give you time to answer as he grabbed your hand, half-soiled by your endeavours. “Why have you stopped the show when the intended audience has arrived?”
All these questions messed with your senses, squeezing your thighs together as the high, threatening to undo you before, began to fade. “Hyunjin—” you said, but you were interrupted, as, with his hand, he lifted your trembling figure with ease. Legs unstable, you let him steer you until your back hit the bookshelves.
“Another notion puzzles me too.” His golden locks skirted along as he cocked his head.
“Why did you scream my name when you touched yourself?” 
Your mouth parted, remembering your incessant whining. The thought caused your entire body to burn up, your husband taking instant note. “Come on, now, darling,” he taunted, grip on your hand tightening. “We both know you are more than capable of speaking.”
It was surprising how you managed to speak, despite the phantom touches.
“I…” you paused, embarrassed that you tried to tell him the truth. “I do not know...damn it!” you hissed as you saw a phantom smile accompanying his hands. “I had this...this need, Hyunjin. Everytime I recalled that night, I…all I wanted was some sort of...release.”
“Oh?” he got out, and he had to cage you with his hands for his own stability. 
The thought of you, withering in pleasure — pleasure you did not realise you yearned for — had his mind transcending any sense. There he was, stirring the cauldron of desire bubbling in your veins, your face twisting in pain from your lack of knowledge. 
He had to pray for forgiveness for his mentality, but at this moment in time, he only knew of one religion. You, and your wishes, whispered in panted breaths.
“If that was what you felt, then why did you not tell me?”
If it was not for his hand gripping yours, you would have covered your face. “How could I?” you whined out. “You were so busy! I could never be selfish enough to put myself before you.”
His heart nearly burst from his chest. “My darling,” he hummed, stroking away the flyaways upon your face. “Do you not realise that I put you before myself?”
Your confusion had him continuing. “If you had told me that you had such...needs, then I would have damned the work to hell.”
Suddenly, you wished you were the most selfish person in the world.
“Every wish, your every want…” his eyes promised the world. “It is mine to bring it to you.
“So tell me, angel.” His fingers lingered on your face. “What do you want?”
Alas, that fated question.
What you wanted was to tell him without doubt that you wished for his fingers inside you again. What you wanted was your husband fulfilling his promises, showing you more, more, more until you forgot your name from the sheer force.
You hated how your speech could never voice it out loud with confidence.
The man noticed your face warming beneath his touch as you stammered, “I-I want—” pausing from his fingers on your cheek, “Hyunjin, I want you to…” 
Your pathetic attempts had him chuckling. “So innocent to me still?” He asked softly. “Even when I caught you moaning my name like a whore in the night?”
Whore. Sane you would have slapped him for saying such a thing, but the arousal that pooled at the term meant completely different. He was aware of your reaction, causing him to be compliant. 
One day, he would voice it out of you. One day, you would say from your own mouth that you wished for ruination.
“How about this, ____?” he started. He brushed a small kiss upon your forehead, heart fluttering at the chaste action. “When you want me to stop, voice that out instead.” The next kiss was upon the tip of your nose. 
You thought up a worrying confession, but when you saw his expression change, you realised you blurted it out.
“I don’t think I would want you to stop, Hyunjin.”
The molten lust in his eyes nearly undid you then and there. He offered you a low, satisfied growl, wondering how in God he could ever resist you.
“I don’t think I would be able to, angel.”
He did not say any more, swooping down and enveloping your lips with his.
You instantly accepted him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer, closing your eyes and letting him paint an artwork of desire upon your mouth. You could tell he was trying to be gentle, but your confession cracked the glasshouse of desire he had tended for so long. 
His tongue was inside your mouth at once, and you relished its desperation, letting it explore all of you as his hands wandered down, your own sliding into his locks. Softer than all the silks in the land, you already felt the moans bubble within your throat, partially escaping with every parting. His heavy breathing in your ears only wished for all distance to fade.
There was so much of him, all at once — you had shared kisses with him after that fated night, but you knew those kisses were the sole form of affection he could offer in those lonely weeks. The way he bit your bottom lip, soft and then a little harder, had you losing all sense.
It was such things that made you realise how much you missed his presence.
Tearing away from your lips, he gave fevered attention to your neck, trailing his kisses down your skin, open and wet and restless. “Hyunjin—” you began, but then you gritted your teeth at the pain of his suction upon your throat. His hands pushed you further into the shelves, and a few books began to fall at the force. 
“H-Hyunjin!” you exclaimed, eyes darting frantically to the classic editions that scattered on the floor. “W-wait, not here!” 
The man blinked in his haze of desire, looking at you. “Huh?” he got out, spit-slick lips parted, his whole body raising from his breaths. “Why not?”
“The-the books, they...!” you tried to explain, but with the stare he offered, you quietened within moments. “...Hyunjin?”
His answer was his hand taking your wrist and turning from the secluded corner. He steered you out of the hiding place, pace hurried with each step he took. Head whirling to every aisle, he cursed under his breath, finding the spaces between the shelves filled only with books. 
“What are you...searching for?!” you demanded in bated breaths, but then he let out a satisfied noise as he found an open aisle, the first line of shelves in the library. 
In front of those shelves sat a large, wooden step ladder — no doubt there to grab onto the higher sectioned novels. A knowing smirk enveloped his features as he led you to where it stood, backing you against it.
A small yelp escaped you as the man hoisted you upon the steps, you holding onto his shoulders as he slithered his arms around your waist. “There,” he said, tilting his head slightly upwards. “Now you shan’t worry about your novels falling.”
“Easy for you to say!” you crowed, already feeling unstable, despite sitting on the sixth step. “This time it might be me falling!”
“Well then,” he began, tugging your legs apart till he fit snug between them, “You just have to hold on tight, don’t you?”
Oh, you were going to kill him.
Leaning forward, he halted your breath, brushing his lips across your neck. “I can stop if you wish,” he whispered on your skin. His hand rested over your chest, where it rose unevenly under his palm. When you did not answer he looked up, climbing so he levelled with your face. 
You felt his heavy breathing fan your lips. “Do you want me to stop, angel?”
His eyes saw right through you — with the way a malicious smile began playing at his lips, he knew his answer long before you registered it yourself.
Head shaking hurriedly, you murmured out your response as you grabbed onto the lapels of his longcoat. 
“Never.” 
You pulled him down, desire taking control of your senses as he undid you with his lips. His hands, sliding down, hitching your skirts higher than before, bunching it at your waist. Never giving himself a break on your mouth, he peeled off his coat, tossing it beside the ladder. Only when you broke away to take a panted breath did he begin his descent — kisses on your neck dragged down further, along your clothed abdomen until he parted, shuffling the fabric from between your thighs.
An uneasy fuck flew from his mouth — your glistening cunt welcomed him again, the recollections of the last honeymoon night crashing back. 
In truth, the events had not left his mind. The memories of his fingers playing with you, inciting those sinful sounds were the few things which brought him a high in the dark days of work. You, drenched by his efforts, dripping for him, and only him, to take care of you.
Seeing the sight before had Hyunjin restraining his cock. Fuck, he thought, leaning closer till his face was a mere inch from the center. He did not comprehend the consequences of this; what if he went crazy? A part of him was distinctly aware that if you were heavenly around his fingers, then you with his tongue would transcend reality.
Hands holding the back of your knees, he slung your legs over his shoulders, securing his fingers upon your thighs. With one last inhale, he closed the distance.
Nothing compared to his tongue running along your slit.
A hiss left you at the contact, tendrils of pleasure curling up your spine as he explored the edges of your cunt. He was teasing, being too leisured for your liking — he could not help himself, fearing he would rush the process and end it too quickly.
He wanted to be inside you the entire night.
Your incessant whining had him lapping up the wetness, gripping onto your legs a little harder as he delved in further, tasting your arousal and letting out a satisfied noise. Leaning your head back against the higher steps, your hands carded through his hair, his locks a comfort for the slow torment below.
When his tongue dove upwards, circling your clit, an obscenely loud moan tumbled out of you. He was so exceptional, so good at what he did to you, licking away at the bud as if he had not been served for days. Your whining was more encouragement for his antics, increasing his strokes with a slight curve to his lips. 
What reduced you to choked gasps was an old prospect from the first night — his digits, leaving one of their spots on your leg and slipping one inside your folds. As if his tongue was not enough, that singular finger created a rhythmic pattern of plunging in and out of you. 
You thrashed under his grip, hips rolling giddily along with his work. Even the ladder began to shudder, jutting slightly back and forth from your desperation. Although the squeeze on your thigh was an indication to calm down, you ignored it, too intoxicated by the thrusts of his tongue to realise his signal. 
He made you realise as he paused his ministrations entirely. You nearly shrieked at the lack of his presence, but then you looked down, and found his lust-hazed eyes staring at you. 
“H-Hyunjin?” You mumbled, voice raspy from your previous moaning. 
The slick glazed on his lips brought you another level of high. “I need you to stay still, darling,” he voiced, slender hand gripping onto your thigh. “You even have the poor ladder shaking.”
You willingly nodded your head, knowing you were lying through your teeth. If he continued with his tongue prodding at your clit, then you would start trembling from the thrill. 
“I don’t think I believe you,” he mused, blowing on your drenched cunt. Seeing you shiver had him chuckling. ”I need you to be still if you want true pleasure, sweetheart.”
An ironically chaste kiss upon the edges of your thigh gave you more reason to grip him harder. “I want you to enjoy this as much as I am.” 
As much as I am.
Good, sweet Lord.
Maybe you will never move an inch again.
“K-keep going,” you whispered, near frantic as you played with his locks. “Please.”
The please at the end was exactly what he needed before he pounced into you again. 
His tongue was relentless — a second finger joined in the venture, and the fullness of him was back again, with an intensity that only promised satisfaction. You knew it was coming, with the heaviness in your lower abdomen. 
You needed that release. Whatever it took, it was the only image in your mind, taunting you of the relief that came with it. With the hard grip of his locks, your husband sensed it straight away, quickening his pace with both his tongue and digits. 
Damn Hwang Hyunjin to Hell, for he was so unfairly good to you — licking your clit to a frenzy, touching a certain spot inside you, over and over again. He never missed, never faltered his labour as the burden inside you intensified. You sang his praise in your stained mind, hoping he could see the joy on your face.
“Hyunjin—!” You whined out, stealing a glance at his head, moving back and forth slightly between your legs. “It’s—the feeling, the one before—!”
You did not have to say anything else; his free hand, wrapping fully around your slung over leg, made you realise of his awareness. The feeling was at its peak then — one more of his stripe along your cunt, and it was over.
Fortunately for you, the Duke of Hastings kept his promises. 
One little nibble of your bud, plunging in his two fingers at the same time, and it was useless. Your release came rushing through, cries escaping your lips as you undid yourself onto his mouth. All sense of surroundings abandoned you: you were drifting away, like a kite losing its roots, further and further as his fingers slowed. You feared that you would lose all sense until his tongue lapped up the release. His hums of satisfaction anchored you back into the library, hands at your hips as he heaved upwards, watching over your dazed expression. 
You saw his every move, licking the remnants of your release off on his face. He then hovered closer, locks more sweat slick as they caressed your skin. 
“God, angel,” he rasped out, holding your chin with his stained fingers. “You…I can’t...I can’t get enough of you.”
He stole a kiss upon your mouth, but your shy whines caused him to go deeper, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip. “Shit,” he whispered as he parted from your lips. “You must stop me, ____. I cannot take you all at once, I…no matter how much I wish, I cannot...fuck, I cannot taint you.”
And maybe it was your husband, admiring you like a poet would his muse. Maybe it was something more than the dull ache inside you, the flutter moving to your heart which had you saying the next words. 
“But I...” you paused, every panted breath heavy. “I never…never asked you to stop.”
Hyunjin stilled completely before you. 
His eyes were too much, but you did not stop the confession pouring out. “If...if there is something more, I…” his thumb on your chin hardened.
“I want to know. I want to see it all...even if it may taint me.”
There it was. 
The thoughts which haunted you for the past few weeks. You wanted more, even if that meant that this more would one day be satiated. You wanted to see the end, the final stage, because you knew deep down, your best friend was still holding back from you.
You saw it in his eyes. You saw his unadulterated desires, dark and fearful, yet you wanted to be surrounded by his darkness. 
You wanted Hwang Hyunjin to break you like he wished.
Sure enough, he saw it all over your face too. His jaw turned slack, and he debated slamming his head against the shelves to make sure he was not dreaming.
He did not think his wife would let him have a moment’s peace. 
“God help you, sweet angel,” he murmured, glancing at your dress — more specifically, how to get you out of it. “I don’t think I can leave you innocent any longer.”
You parted your mouth to speak — Hyunjin was about to interrupt you, perhaps take you to the final stage of your passions.
Everything was about to descend when you heard the shrill knock on the door.
Your heart jumped out of your dress, the man above you catching onto your shock. With an unexpected burst of anger, he turned his head towards the large doors and screamed, “Who the fuck is it?!”
The servant at the opposite side flinched at the tone of voice. “Um, there is a guest in the living room, Your Grace!”
That did not help his case. “Then tell them to piss off!” The Duke demanded, holding onto you a little harder.
“But Your Grace, he urgently requests your presence!” The boy insisted. “We tried telling him of your...distractions, but he would not listen!”
Hyunjin looked like he was about to tear the manor down with his orders, and you widened your eyes, holding onto him. “It’s alright,” you reassured him, and possibly reassuring yourself too.
He glanced at you, and the frenzied stare he pinned you with shut you right up. “Fuck,” he cursed, running an angered hand through his hair, the other not leaving your side — as if you would fade from his grasp. 
You feared it too, in truth, that he would disappear. The thought plagued your senses, much more than you would have liked.
“To hell with that bloody guest,” he growled, leaning into you again. He pressed his forehead against yours, cupping your face with his hands. “To hell with everyone.”
“Hyunjin,” you breathed out, relishing the contact. “Hyunjin, it’s okay…” you held his agitated stare, wondering why you were convincing him to go when you wanted him to stay. “I will be here, you know...when you come back.”
He searched your gaze for confirmation, needing to affirm your words. When he found the suppressed desire within, he could not help himself. 
He planted his mouth upon yours, finding solace along the lines of your lips — he loved how your every kiss was a comfort, a sweet little sin all for him to enjoy. In honesty, he could spend an eternity basked in your warmth, but alas, reality was a villain in his tale.
Forcing himself to pull away, he ran a tender thumb along your cheek. “I shan’t take long, angel.”
You nodded tiredly, in time to the man holding your waist as he settled you back onto the carpet. Lingering for a few moments, he made himself leave your side, grabbing his coat and donning the heavy fabric. He satiated his desires with a glance towards you, dazed off with your hands clinging the ladder railing still. 
A small smile catching onto his lips, he turned on his heel, promising murder to whoever disturbed the moment he dreamed of. Opening the door, he looked back, catching your stare. 
The smile upon his face grew wider. A smile so sincere, so loving, with all the world’s miracles nestled upon his pretty mouth. It was a smile that you had never seen before, with all your years beside him — seeing it now had you wishing you could bottle the image and carry it with you forever.
It was a smile which had you so in love with him.
Love.
It was then your heart dropped. 
Hyunjin, unaware, closed the door behind him, leaving you to your revelation.
Instantly, you clutched at your chest, heartbeat racing. 
In love.
You were in...in love with Hwang Hyunjin.
“No,” you slipped out, mind rushing a mile a minute. “No, no, no, no—”
You gripped the railing harder as the hand on your heart trailed down, shivering from the phantom touches of your husband.
Hell, of the husband that you had fallen for. 
One would think love was an entity writers would idolise — your own inspirations searched and indulged in all kinds of love, but you always accepted that an emotion so intense was not for women like you. Love was a rarity. Love was unconditional, strong and vivid and all-consuming. 
Love, undoubtedly, was a weakness.
Your breathing turned ragged, hands reaching to clasp your head in panic. 
I will be here...when you come back.
Your promise to him, before he left you to your hysteria.
Why would you ever say such a thing to him?
“Oh, no,” you kept chanting, turning over to your side, away from the door and towards the window, where night was small comfort to your nerves. 
You could not let yourself succumb to a man. No matter how dear he was to you.
And if that meant staying away from your husband, then so be it.
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 IT WAS UTTER AGONY AVOIDING YOUR BEST FRIEND IN EVERY PASSING MOMENT. 
Perhaps you should have given reasonable explanation to why you decided to distance yourself, but of course, reasonable explanation was never your forte. 
Hyunjin, damn him, tried to make more effort in returning home earlier, despite his business demanding his presence with every passing day. You were almost powerless under his tender gaze, but you knew that you could not be swayed.
As if you had not fallen under his spell already.
Your only distraction was your novel, so you did just that — even with your husband in the manor, you closed yourself from everyone, writing furiously on your desk as if committing to anything else would cost your life. The flushed skin did not shy away as you wrote of your second experience, changing the events slightly so they fit your story. The memories tried to torture your mind, but you refused to submit. You could not fall for Hyunjin.
You could not fall for a man.
The duke did not realise of your avoidances, simply thinking that you evading his more heated kisses, his dangerous touches, was a result of your fatigue. He understood, knowing you worked your brain as hard as he. He was upset, obviously, when he craved your touch every waking second. For you, though, he would do anything. If that meant waiting, he would do that too.
However, your recoiling could only last so long. Your best friend knew you like the back of his hand.
He figured something was amiss when he decided to grace you with his presence one evening, expecting another show of your moans behind the door, only to have the distant scribbling of ink against paper. Entering inside, he awaited your surprise, your unadulterated joy, bracing himself to have his arms engulfed with your hug.
In reality, he received a mumble of blessing, and the continuing scribbling.
He was not trying to coax you into giving him affection. He was well aware of how hard you worked on your novel, but that day, he dearly wished you would abandon your project for just a night. Just one, single night, so he could show you how much he missed you every single moment.
Poor, unfortunate man. How was he to know that your affection was the one thing you could not give him?
Another few days into the silence, and Hyunjin had had enough.
He called to you one dinner, ushering the servants away with the flick of his hand. The dining room became all the more huge, like a lush vault, perfect for a sweet interrogation as the velvet curtains drew to a close, and the eyes of a hundred paintings focused on you. You swirled the soup with your spoon, refusing to look at him. 
“Darling?”
Damn him and his endearments. “Hmm?”
The man, too, seemed to be unsure of how to talk of the subject. “Is…” he put his cutlery on the table. “Is everything...alright as of late?”
Your gaze remained rooted to your food. “Of course,” you said. “Why would I not be?”
There was a heavy silence in the room, new and uncertain between the two of you. Your friendship with the duke had never been filled with such quiet — why were you creating such awkwardness around him?
You already knew the answer.
“Do counter me if I speak incorrectly,” he began, grabbing the stem of the wine glass. “But I have noticed you to be quite...secluded.”
“I am busy, Hyunjin,” you said curtly. “I have a whole novel to edit.”
His lips twitched downwards before opening his mouth, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a small sip. “I know you do, and you know I am proud of you for it.”
Choosing to not say anything, you tried finishing off your dinner, aware that you were losing your appetite. It seemed your husband did not want to back down tonight. “____, I feel as if you are hiding something from me.”
The spoon in your hand nearly clattered in the bowl. “And why would you think that?”
“Because—!” Hyunjin paused, downing some more wine. “I do not know, but I feel as if you do not want to speak to me.”
He was too smart for his own good. “You are imagining things,” you waved him off, finding your salad fork oh so interesting in the candlelight.
“Look at me.”
His voice stopped you cold. 
Your gaze scrambled to meet his, and although his command was rough, his eyes exposed a completely different emotion. 
Pure concern washed over his features as he muttered, “Have I done something wrong?”
That question broke your heart.
“No, no, of course not,” you quickly said. You bit your lip in guilt, watching him sigh, almost in relief.
This was the consequences of your actions. A man who had done nothing unjust, yet was being punished. Pure shame coursed through your veins, catching the distress on his face, and you wondered whether you were being cruel. Maybe this time, your feelings were exaggerated.
If you were aware of such truths, then why could you not look your best friend in the eye?
That night, you hurried to bed, leaning on the edge in wait for him. Your thoughts were in disarray; your heart impatiently desired his return, and your brain berated you for daring to. 
Truthfully, it was horrifying how you had become so dependent on someone, when your entire life you relied on the fantasies in your head. Although your revelation was every lady’s dream in society, you felt as if another burden had been dumped upon your shoulders. This time, though, this burden would last for the rest of your life.
These thoughts were your singular company, when you lay awake all night. You were acutely aware of Hyunjin slipping between the sheets, but you did not move a muscle. A small part of you knew that if you turned, you would be unable to resist his whimsical gaze and wandering touches.
So you lay rigid, only letting yourself sleep till your best friend submitted himself to oblivion.
He, too, could not bear to live like this.
The Duke of Hastings was not a fool. He had not known you for over a decade to discard you lying through your teeth. It was beyond his understanding the reasoning of your change, but it deeply disturbed his soul. 
He turned in the bed, watching your back bathed in moonlight. Why would you not tell him what bothered you? What had he done wrong?
As he watched you stay rooted in one position, his thinking turned to dark corners. A realisation struck him; you started acting this way the day after he nearly took you in the library.
This alarmed him greatly — was that why you were so troubled? Were you...uncomfortable with his touch?
His heart dropped down to his gut. 
If you truly detested his affection, then he would not know what to do with himself. Recently, it was all that haunted him — you, you, and a little more you, strolling through his mind as if it were your domain, creating stories underneath his eyes. It only worsened when he discovered your sweet moans, triggered by his kisses and touches. God, the very thought of you, whining his name as you touched yourself, brought him a familiar feeling amplified. So ardently he wished to taint you further. 
Even thinking of the images had him clutching his pillow tighter, fingers aching to turn you over. 
However, the harsh fact was that you could not bear to look at him, and he had to live with that. Questioning you was of no use. 
Hyunjin only prayed that he did not scare you off. 
Unfortunately for him, his prayers were not to be answered. 
Days passed, and the distance grew. The man dared not say a word to you in fear you would stray further, and you dared not approach him in fear you would fall harder. It was the most abhorrent situation, and you knew you had to get away somehow.
Fate spoiled your plans when Hyunjin revealed some news.
You looked at the invitation in slight horror. “A ball?”
Scratching the back of his neck, he explained further. “When we were...interrupted that day…” he sighed a little. “It was Seungmin who was downstairs.”
“Kim Seungmin? Has he returned from the States?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “And he has decided that the first thing he wishes to do is throw a huge ball in celebration of his return.” A roll of eyes followed. “Forever the dramatist.”
You restrained your laughter. “It has been over 2 years since we met,” you wondered out loud. 
“Well, you can meet him at his estate when we attend the ball.” 
He felt your eyes on him as he declared his words. Awaiting your outright rejection, settling down on the chair in the living room. You watched his thighs tense under the peach trousers as he folded a leg over the other — damn him for being too attractive to refuse.
“Very well,” you only said, not ignoring the nerves which threatened to take over. They increased a little at seeing the smile on your husband’s face.
You needed to stop leading the man on. Never could you go to the ball with him. 
“It is a week from now,” he added, bobbing his foot excitedly. “I shall write back in acceptance as soon as possible!”
Nodding, you returned to your reading, hoping the faux conversations were enough distraction.
A week. Seven days to somehow escape from this event, or else everyone would see you enter the ball as an official couple, and then your fate as another man’s property would be sealed.
Had he ever made you feel as such?
You did not let yourself ponder over this further. Your only objective was getting out of this invitation.
However, you were a duchess. Trying to hide yourself from London society was an unattainable feat. 
The reminder had you nearly ripping the page off your book, too stressed to read on.
This became your focus of the next week, pondering over the night of the ball, scouring your mind with the possibilities which may occur at Seungmin’s estate. As the days neared, Hyunjin insisted you go shopping in search of a special ball gown, and you only obliged so you did not have to be in the same house as him. Still, if he was not there physically, his image preyed upon you in the markets, constantly reminded of his opinions and likings in every fabric you ran your hands upon. 
There was no escaping him. You were disgustingly obsessed.
Purchasing everything you needed, you requested it to be charged on Hastings’ tab, a privilege awarded to you ever since your joining with the duke. You always argued that you wished to spend your own money, but he would not listen.
“But I adore spoiling you, angel,” he would merely say, and buy up half the boutique, leaving you a flustered mess. The conversations did not leave you as you bought your dresses and accessories, returning home and dreading interaction.
Excusing yourself, you shut yourself in your room once more, and wrote.
Wrote away your soul in the last days, till it was the morning of the fated event. The sun shone magnificently on your home, but failed to radiate its light on your darkened mood. You had no choice on the matter — you were to accompany Hyunjin to Seungmin’s celebrations, and that was final.
You were about to fake typhoid when a letter arrived for you.
It was from your mother; she wrote in question of your wellbeing, and how much she felt your absence in the house. The content was not very interesting, and you debated writing back with a lack of enthusiasm when you read the last section.
She mentioned tonight’s ball — more significantly, how she felt ever so lonely without you with her, “enlivening her spirits”. The praises were nothing further from the truth, but it was her confession which had an idea rushing to your head.
“Lonely without me, huh?” you murmured, as you rang a bell for a maid. Arriving, you requested for a little trunk, asking for your new dress and other adornments to be packed. “For once, Mama, you have been useful.”
The packing did not take much time, the other servants calling for a carriage as you made preparations to leave for a night. Hyunjin, making his presence known, descended down the stairs, a grin upon his face as his hand fished in his inner pockets. 
When he saw your endeavours, though, his beaming flickered. “What is going on here?” he asked, refusing to look away from your luggage.
You turned to him, mustering up the bravado to face him with your decision. 
“I received a letter from Mama this morning,” you explained to him in faux ease, gesturing for the servants to bring your belongings outside. “She is feeling rather lonesome, so I thought to see her.”
The man was not convinced in the slightest. “Since when did you garner sympathy for your mother?”
Never confide in your best friend again. “Please,” you stressed, holding the letters in your hands. “She still took care of me the best she could. Plus, I would never want to be lonely at that age.”
He was not listening to this explanation though, his hands going into his pockets. “When will you be back, darling?”
The endearment made this all the worse. “The morning after.”
A heavy pause instilled on the both of you before he broke it. “But...but the ball. A-are you to just...abandon the invitation altogether?”
“No!” you began, locking your hands behind your back. “No, I shall meet you at Seungmin’s estate. It is a small setback, but—”
“____, this will be our first social event as husband and wife!” he countered, you grimacing at his minor outburst. “I want you by my side when we walk down the steps!”
“But I will be there, Hyunjin!” you exclaimed. “I do not understand why you suddenly want to follow these silly traditions!”
Gritting his teeth, your friend pinned you with his stare, growing fiery the longer you held it. Traditions never interested him, but this one had been a certainty he had been looking forward to. The image of you, descending the stairs with your hand on his arm, brought him an absurd amount of joy.
But there you were, bursting his bubble of dreams.
“Why is this all coming to light today?” he muttered, taking a step towards you. “Why, on the day of the event, you decide to tell me that you would rather go with your mother, who never truly cared for you, than me?” 
Than me, who always did?
You dared not answer his question truthfully — instead, you let your undeserved anger take the reins of your tongue.
“So you are already suspicious!” you snapped. “Why am I not surprised in the slightest?”
His eyes narrowed at the statement. You did not look into it further as you turned on your heel, heading towards the door. “Do not run away from me, ____!” He shouted, following after you. “Tell me what you implied from that horrendous comment!”
“Oh, let me uncover it clearly for you, dearest,” you snarled, standing at the doorway. The words which were to leave your mouth had sure consequences, but in the moment, you did not care. All you wanted then was an escape.
“You accuse me of scheming and demand me things which I do not want to give you.” 
Your hand gripped the letter behind you. “You’re becoming the one thing I feared, Hyunjin. You’re turning into a typical male.”
The man froze entirely at your claims.
Did not utter a defense against him as you sighed out, glancing away from his shell-shocked eyes. You did not bid your farewells as you descended down the stairs, reigning in your temptation to look back as you made your way to your transport through the gardens. 
As you slipped inside the carriage, clasping your hands in your lap, you wondered whether you had taken a step too far. 
You wondered, with rising dread, whether you had broken your best friend’s heart. 
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 MAYBE RUNNING TO YOUR MOTHER HAD NOT BEEN THE BEST OF IDEAS.
Biggest reason being that she was truly a pain in the rear. The moment your carriage had arrived on the rocky entryway of your mother’s manor, she rushed down the steps. After engulfing you with an embrace which might have caused a minor stroke, she hurried you inside, her servants bringing your possessions.
You did not particularly miss your previous abode, although it gave you small relief. You passed the familiar hallways, and settled in the nostalgic parlour room where your mother gushed over your presence.
Still, this manor did not seem like home to you.
Conversation was mostly struck from your opposite, you nearly silent as the woman vented out her frustrations of every family in London, drinking her tea and urging you to take a biscuit or two. Your stomach was void of an appetite, missing other emotions which you abandoned on the other side of the city.
By the time evening arrived, all you wished to do was hide yourself into your old room, but your mother would not accept. Having the maids open your trunk, they brought out the ball gown you had picked for the occasion.
It was a dark, seductive red, swell of its puffs cuffed with black lace — this lace scattered over the fabric, lining not only the neckline but down the chest, rose-like stitches etched onto the bust. The high-waistline also bled further black stitching, almost all over the gown as it fell to the floor, with a midnight ribbon trailing at the back.
You bit back a fevered sigh. Hyunjin would have adored this gown.
The thought had you pursing your lips, requesting the gown be pressed. Then, walking over to the dressing table, you settled yourself onto the seat, using the accessories bought previously to style yourself. With the assistance of a few maids, you managed to accentuate your hair, adding small pearls within the locks.
The ballgown came back in an instant, and you undressed yourself, waving away the girls in your room. Firstly, you slipped on a thin chemise — then, you allowed a maid to enter to help with the corset, who tightened it at the back without mercy to your body. Barely able to breathe, you loosened it slightly after the girl left, focusing your attention on the gown. After adorning the petticoats and white stockings, you adorned your attire, slowly as to not crease its fabric. Hooking the back yourself, you turned to the mirror, holding the black gloves.
There was no doubt about this countenance — it was exactly to your husband’s taste. Clamping your lips together, you donned the gloves, the silk smooth beneath your touch as you filled them to the fingertips. With one final peek at yourself, you slipped into your shoes, and left the bedroom. 
You were a fool to think of any other person but your mother welcoming you at the entrance, but wishful thinking had always been your flaw. Her string of compliments had you adorning a ghost of a smile, but you did not say much as you both climbed into the carriage, instructing to journey to Seungmin’s estate.
Without a novel to distract you, you fell into a habit of clasping and unclasping your hands as you sat, waiting for the ride to be over. Your mother was small comfort as she filled the silence for you, but even her voice strained your mood — you wished for other discourse, or other meaningless entertainment.
You ached for laughter.
Whatever. This was your consequence. You must bear with it.
If your mother knew of your troubles, she certainly did not voice them out loud. She did ask of your relationship with Hyunjin, but you waved her off with false reassurances — you could not have her prying into your private life.
“I hope he has burned off your silly writing fancy!” she drawled, catching the lights of the destination flickering closer to our transport. “As a wife you have much more important duties.”
Gazing afar through the window, you spoke your truth. “Actually, Mama, he encourages it.” A small chuckle escaped you. “I think he wants me to be an author more than I do.”
“Oh?” The woman brought a hand to her chin, impressed. “That is a rare occurrence indeed.”
Catching your raised brow, she scoffed. “Do not gawk as if you are not aware of men. I am shocked he has given you freedom.”
You listened to her, watching the estate linger closer. “Child, you have found a man who does not restrict you in your passions. I do not know how you accomplished such a feat, but you must be extremely thankful.” A glance was stolen towards her. “Such husbands only exist in those books you love so much.”
Before you could comment on her statement, the carriage slowed to a stop, reaching the final stop. The footmen opened the doors, and your mother stepped out first before you followed, careful not to ruin your dress on the pathway. 
The crowds had you leading inside the estate, luxury which could compete with the Duke of Hastings being exulted in every corner of the interior. Dozens of lords, ladies and other aristocrats wandered in all places of the house, your own mother being swept away by her friends in her social circle. Your presence felt less relevant with each passing second, fearing you would lose yourself in the rush of golden curtains, rose perfume and unwelcome conversation.
You thought that this ball would grant solitude, but then you heard the bright drawl of a familiar lord. 
“By God, is that my dear bookworm I see before me?”
Jumping from the voice, you whirled on your heel. A surprised smile caught on your face.
“Seungmin?”
The said-man returned your shock with a mischievous grin. Lord Kim Seungmin changed greatly since the last time you saw him — what was once thinned, pale cheekbones were now full and golden, amplifying his eye-smile, which he did not lose in the Americas. He was adorned in navy blue, contrasting with his off-coloured pants, black hair styled effortlessly away from his forehead.
“My goodness!” he began, strolling over to you with his mahogany cane. “Even after two years you upkeep your radiance.”
“You flatter me,” you said as your smile widened. “You certainly have changed. I adore the tan!”
“I fear you are the sole admirer,” he confided, narrowing his gaze at his incoming guests. “As if I wish to look like a ghost among men!”
“You have earned my approval, at least,” you complimented in earnest. “Not that it would matter much.”
Seungmin scoffed at your comment. “Says one of the most affluent women in the country! When were you going to tell me you were Hyunjin’s bride?”
Your irritation sparked as your heartbeat raced. “It was very recent, I admit. I would have sent word, but it would not have reached you.”
“I daresay I am not surprised.” 
You peered at him, then. “No?”
He gave you an incredulous look. “My dear, everyone anticipated the occasion. Only you were clueless to the possibility.”
Gritting your teeth, you jabbed him with your hand, causing him to chuckle. “Ow! I was hoping you would mature by this time! No doubt your duke encourages this!”
Preferring to stay silent on the matter, Seungmin continued on the subject, making it difficult. “Where is he, by the way? Gossip tells me it is your first ball as a couple.”
“Is he not here?” A shake of his head had your nerves creeping back. “Oh, um, my mother was alone, so I thought to accompany her instead.”
You nearly grimaced at his callous features. “How bizarre,” he murmured. He then offered you his arm. “If so, then allow me to accompany you in his absence.”
Accepting his arm, he helped you navigate your ways through the huge foyer, the grand stairs welcoming you two as dozens upon dozens of aristocrats came into view — the host nodded his head in greeting at every passerby, leading you down each step, until your feet landed on the floor of the ballroom. 
Examining the area, you marvelled at the pastels colouring each wall, corner and crevice of the vast space in the room. Sweet music filled the air, and murmurs of many ladies and gentlemen resonated everywhere around you, growing louder as their eyes rested on you, your sensual attire, and the lack of husband on your arm.
“How about a dance, Duchess?” Seungmin asked you as he brought you closer to the center. 
Instantly you shook your head, stopping in your tracks. “No,” you refused, tugging on his arm. “I have no wish for dancing this evening.”
“As if you ever have,” he mused, earning your glare. “I presume you await for your beau? Everyone knows you dance first with him.”
A sharp breath exhaled from your nose. “Nevermind that, just take me where the cakes are.”
Laughter spilled from his lips, stirring you to the refreshments. “As you wish, ____.”
Making your way through the guests, you finally ended up where the food resided, tables lined from one corner of the room to the other, flanked in every type of nourishment. Your gaze found stands of cakes, and you left your hand on your friend’s arm, raised towards the deserts. As soon as a servant handed you a plate, the chocolate cake was in your hold.
“Honestly,” the host started, as you cut a piece with a fork, digging straight in. “And they call you the pinnacle of grace!”
“Who in heaven said that?” you asked, baffled as you ate another small piece. Seungmin, snapping his fingers, brought a tray of champagne over to you. Picking up two flutes, you began, “For me?”
Downing the first, he offered you a grin. “What made you think that?” he replied, already sipping the second. “My party, my alcohol.”
This time you giggled at his demeanour, he handing you a drink as you finished your cake. The bubbly goodness was welcomed, warming you up and calming your senses. 
After the third glass, the champagne-induced man let out a huge sigh. “Right!” he exclaimed, propping the glasses on the table beside you. “I must find myself a pretty lady to dance with.”
“Do try to stay on your feet, Seungmin,” you said, raising your flute in toast. 
“No promises!” he merely countered, disappearing into the crowd.  
Your smile faded at the isolation which hit.
There you were — hundreds of people surrounding you, many potential partners to dance with, yet there you were, hand not in another hand but wrapped around your alcohol. 
You could not blame a single soul. This was all your doing.
That had you consuming the champagne to the last drop. 
At least there was some form of relief in this ball, as you watched Seungmin and about a dozen couples form a circle at the center of the room. With the first opening of the music the host led his partner, all the others following suit. 
Watching the waltz had you remembering the last dance, the fateful night where this union came into fruition. Your friend’s smile, his hand on another’s waist, all these images reflected the very same you experienced many weeks before.
You bit the inside of your cheek, reminiscing deeper and deeper. You hated how every fibre of your body ached for his presence. The worst part was that it was not mere lust, or the carnal desire which erupted at his thought.
You longed for him — his banter, his mischievous eyes, and his rather heart-wrenching smile.
The music heightened, the climax of the dance falling on the ball room as Seungmin whirled and whirled his partner, a string of giggles faintly heard from the crowd. When he twirled her one last time, he caught her instantly, at perfect harmony with the ending of the sweet melody.
Applause scattered across the hall as the couples bowed to each other.
A curse escaped you then. 
There was simply no doubt of your feelings — avoiding him could never be the solution. 
This revelation may have arrived at the perfect time.
Because, as the music played once more, a figure emerged at the entrance. 
The murmurs, one by one like a slow wave, died down as they caught sight of him, gazes shocked.
Sipping your champagne, quite puzzled, you turned to the origins for this change of atmosphere. 
Every atom in your body stilled. 
Froze completely at the sight which stood at the foot of the steps. 
You were unable to suppress his name.
“Hyunjin.”
It was as if, by a miracle, he heard your shivered whisper — his eyes skimmed the crowd, frantic beneath the calm.
They found you in the chaos.
Your very breath disappeared from your lungs.
Hwang Hyunjin looked like the devil’s greatest fantasy; as if he stole the night and imprisoned it in his attire. He was adorned in lustrous black, waistcoat patterned with red swirls of velvet. His collar was slightly ruffled, cravat of midnight as it barely brushed against his chin. His tailcoat somewhat glistened in the chandelier light, dark leather boots still as he stood before the hall.
His greatest change was his hair. Once golden like the lights of heaven, it was now as black as the underworld. Half of the locks were swept up in a ponytail, the rest curling at his shoulders. 
The flute nearly dropped from your hands. 
Seungmin, finding his friend on the steps, burst into a smile. “Hastings!” he broke through the silence with enthusiasm. With his voice the crowd fell into frenzied discourse, the host making his way through his guests, strolling towards the new arrival. “By God, it has been too long!”
Hyunjin hummed, not particularly interested in what he had to say. His gaze from you did not stray for a heartbeat. Seungmin, catching on, wrapped a hand around his friend’s shoulder. “I see you only came for one person,” he said, leading him to where you stood. 
Champagne was not the only substance which heated you further, cheeks growing warmer the closer he walked over to you. Every move he emitted exuded sensuality, as if his bones were made of silk. 
You let yourself to a third serving when he stopped before you, Seungmin clapping his hands together in excitement. “Look at the two of you!” he proclaimed. “Your clothes match so perfectly!”
Sure enough, both of you adorned the same hues of dark reds and raven blacks. You felt his eyes rake over you, and you restrained to not do the same, lest you let more than your stare wander. “I always knew you two were right for each other,” your friend continued, grabbing his fourth flute, drinking away in glee. “I am overjoyed to see that you both see it.”
Something cold swirled in your husband’s stare, and you ran a finger along the empty glass, embarrassed to hear such genuinity. “Hyunjin, the second waltz is about to start.” He gestured his flute towards you. “I know you always dance with each other first.”
The duke’s eyes flickered to the host for a mere second before pinning on you again. “I have no desire for dancing tonight.”
You had trouble downing your drink. “How strange...” Seungmin noted, darting between the couple. “Your wife here said the same thing not an hour ago.”
“Did she now?”
The silence that followed was quite unbearable. Even your friend was unimpressed, offering Hyunjin a drink from the waiters nearby. “Oh, you both are such bores! Maybe marriage is not the solution after all.”
You dared not look at him then, fiddling with your black ribbon. “I need to get drunk!” the host declared, tutting his head at the tension created. “I will come again when you two stop being so bloody shy.”
Shy would not be the most accurate term, but Seungmin was too intoxicated to care. He strolled to compliment a gathering of ladies within your radius, which left you with the one man you feared to be alone with.
Hwang Hyunjin. 
Hwang Hyunjin, in his changed, midnight glory, watching you with an indecipherable intensity. Creating the wildest butterflies ever felt inside your body. 
You did not know where to start. 
The man did not understand where to begin either, tongue at loss for words. There were too many words to spill, too many feelings left constricted.
He wished to say something, but his senses had failed him. So, much like you, he stayed silent, wondering if the two of you would ever break this barrier.
Even then, he could not help but linger closer, leaning against the lush walls of the room, right beside you. His presence was a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Tailcoat brushing against your skirts, he examined the ballroom along with you, itching to reach for your hand. He would never really, but in that moment, you were beyond tempting. 
You see, he had no idea what you would wear tonight, and after the spat at Lansdowne, he yearned for change — hence the raven hair and darkened clothing, so unlike his usual pastel attire. He did not even think that you would attend the ball in fear of his presence, but seeing you before him, engulfed in his favourite colours…
He would have damned society and taken you in this very hall. 
Daringly, he let himself wonder whether you felt the same — he heard your shocked murmur when he arrived, and the further shocked stare which made him ever so smug. If only you would let him do something about it.
If only you would let him ease this tension before it spiralled out of control.
His thoughts were rudely interrupted as Seungmin came stumbling back, alcohol, swishing back and forth in his new glass as he giggled at his guests. “Dear friends!” he broke out, hands raised, some of the drink accidentally slipping out. “Oh, forgive me, gentlemen!”
You heard Hyunjin sigh beside you as he held his own hands out to steady his friend. “Steady now, man!” he warned. The drunkard only chortled, foot stepping onto your dress.
“You should not have drank so much!” you scolded, raising your skirts. Glimpses of your stockings came into display, and Seungmin shrieked.
“Careful duchesh!” he slurred excitedly, leaning right into you and wiggling the glass as if it were a finger. Unfortunately, he had little control over how hard he shook his alcohol, and it all spilled over. 
Right onto your white stockings.
Yelping, you saw the middle part stain in pinkish-red, murking the material with every drop landing. “Seungmin!” you yelled in agitation. 
“Oh bollocksh!” he cursed, causing a few gasps around the hearing radius. “I apologishe, dear, so very very much—”
Hyunjin, witnessing the scene, stopped a nearby servant. “Please tend to your master, here,” he ordered, pointing towards Seungmin begging for your forgiveness. Nodding, the boy took the host away, the latter hiccuping as he asked for more wine. “And do not give him any more to drink!” the duke added.
Focusing on you, he rushed over, assessing the mess made. “Damn fool has spilled quite a bit.” Whirling his head to any exits, he spotted a dark hallway, remembering the route of the estate. “Come with me.”
You glanced at him, frantic. “Where to?”
He did not answer fully as he wrapped a hand around your waist, almost making you forget that you had wine spilled over you. “Seungmin has many spare rooms,” he explained, leading you out of the ballroom. Thankfully, the crowd was too occupied in preparing for the second waltz to care for the distressed couple. 
Keeping your skirts raised, you managed to keep your gown safe from spillage as Hyunjin led you down the less crowded hallways, depictions of the Kim family painted on the walls. “Ah!” He got out, reaching to a familiar room as he opened it, ushering you inside. “This is where I usually reside whenever I stay at the estate.”
The room was basked in dark, velvety colours, perfect for the man next to you. Lush carpet underneath, the huge bed, nestled at the wall at your right had its curtains drawn, revealing glistening indigo sheets, matching the framing of the bedroom. Dressing tables, wardrobes and the like were furnished at each corner, your focus drifting back to the dweller. 
There was barely any light, save for the oil lamp sparked to life by his match. Setting it to the side of the bed, it brought much more life to the room, previously engulfed in mystery. 
Without the upheaval, the space was basked in silence. You realised the hand on your back was sorely missed, and Hyunjin, standing a few feet away, clenched and unclenched that very hand, yearning for his fingers upon you once more.
But the two of you kept playing that little game of keeping quiet. Sooner or later, one of you will have enough of this sickening ploy. 
Groaning, you walked over to the edge of the bed, kicking your heels off as you saw your stockings, fully stained. “Damn it,” you muttered, promising Seungmin murder. 
Another few minutes of your grumbling, and he had had enough. 
“Maybe I can be of assistance.” 
Perking up, you found Hyunjin, walking slowly to you, hands fumbling in his coat pockets. After a few seconds of rummaging, he brought out a package, tied with red string. 
You raised a brow. “What is this?” 
“Open it,” he merely said, taking a step closer as he held it before you.
Hesitantly accepting, you tugged on the end of the bow, unraveling the tie. You did not forget the stare which rested on you the entire time you opened the wrappings. 
When the paper unfurled, you examined the contents.
Before you were a folded pair of black stockings.
A soft exhale escaped as you beheld the present, the midnight silk soft to the touch, already aware of its rich feel. You delved in further, and uncovered white ribbons at the top, for tightening their grip. 
“How…” you trailed off, dumbfounded at the coincidence. “How did you…?”
“No, no, this was…” he locked his hands behind his back. “Something I was supposed to give you this morning.”
“Oh.” This morning. When you two had that particularly nasty fight. “I see.”
You glanced down at the present again. Hyunjin had proven, once again, how refined his taste was. “I have never seen such exceptional detail on stockings before.” Discarding the paper at your feet, you ran your thumb across the material. “I doubt this suits me at all.”
There was a pause at that. 
You knew there was something he wanted to say. The way his jaw ticked, the boot lightly tapping on the floor — he was bursting to add a comment which may be a risk, considering the circumstance of your relations. 
Allowing yourself to be the first to dare, you peered up at him. The curiosity, explicit in your eyes, had him clearing his throat.
His hesitancy faded. “Show me, then.”
Catching the ferocity in his stare, you swallowed, hand at your skirts. “If…if you wish.”
And that was all he needed to begin.
You watched as the man descended on his knees, lingering upon you until he looked down, revealing your white-clad legs the further you raised your gown. You stopped before the ends, holding onto your skirts and petticoats as if your life depended on it.
Hyunjin’s gaze did not waver as his hand raised forward, finding themselves upon the bow at the top of the stockings as the other gently held your ankle. Untying the ribbon, he hooked his fingers under the tight fabric, your skin brushing against his knuckles. Slowly, he pulled down the stocking, uncovering your skin before him under the dim lamp light. When it bunched up, his hand at your ankle stretched the ends of fabric, sliding the stocking right off. 
Discarding it behind him, he repeated the unveiling on the other leg. He noticed your skin heating underneath his touch, and he dared not expose his growing delight. 
Once the other half slid off, joining its partner, a hand raised in front of you. You stared at him in dazed confusion, and his fingers curled, save for the pointer directed at your present. 
“The stockings, darling.”
The endearment had you falling short — his caresses on your shin brought you back to consciousness, your hand beyond your control as it handed the gift to him. Taking it, he put one of them beside him, bunching the other with his hands till he directed the entrance to your foot on his lap.
Slipping them on, he worked his way upon your heel; his hands were slow, fingers softer than the silk beginning to cover your leg. Every fleeting touch had small shockwaves coursing up your body, as if it was the first time he laid his hands on you. How were you so unaccustomed to his caresses still?
Maybe because he knew how to agonise you. 
When reaching above your knee, he brought the ends of the stocking to your thigh. His fingers fell to the ribbon dangling from the underside and, with the utmost care, began to tie the two pieces together, forming a pretty red bow. 
As he closed the pattern, he tightened the bow, securing the fabric — snuffing out any possibility for the fabric to fall.
He then continued on the other leg, gaze flickering from your legs to your face. He caught every laboured breath you released, every flutter of your eyes slipping you in and out of a daze. His fingers were slower still, as if he never wanted this to stop. The stockings were like a second skin, adding a lustre to your legs the more he covered you with it. 
Sliding over your knee for the last time, he held onto the blood-coloured ribbons. Fingers skimming against silk-stained skin, he tied another perfect bow, tightening it at the ends. 
All done.
His gaze lingered on the bows, the sliver of skin past your thighs. His hands too, refused to leave your legs.
It was then his eyes flicked upward — right into yours. 
You caught every swirl of desire residing inside. 
Every little detail etched on his face was stained with lustful anguish, suppressed hunger of things you dared not imagine. You held onto your skirts with more force, afraid you would lose strength in your hands. 
Hyunjin’s hands, however, had no such troubles.
For they began to carry out his wishes — they slid upwards, past the stockings and upon your upper thighs, spreading them enough to slip himself between your legs. This alone had you near crumbling for him, but his eyes asked for more. Even with the dim light, you had never seen a man so beautiful in agony. 
You wondered whether he was going to say anything. Silence was a giver of many answers, but the questions you held could only be answered by his lulling whispers. Despite protest, you willed your hands beside you, clutching the sheets, waiting for him to tear your soul in pieces. 
Finally, the Duke of Hastings parted his mouth.
“One word, angel.”
He squeezed your thighs softly. 
“One word, and I will never torment you with my presence again.”
A bated breath escaped you.
It was much too late for that. Hyunjin had already tormented you, had done so ever since your fateful realisation, and you knew he would do so for the rest of your life. It would hardly matter whether he was oceans apart or a hair’s breadth close — him, and everything he represented, was complete and utter affliction.
Such a shame that he was a torment you would sacrifice everything to be around every day. Such a horrible, horrible shame that Hwang Hyunjin was a presence you loved more than you could let on.
Hence was the reason you did not answer him with words. What you wished to say was much too vulnerable.
No, you answered him in actions — replied with your hands raising to clasp his face, leaning down to envelope your lips with his. 
You were surprised to hear a pained moan leave his mouth, and you realised that was the sound of pure, heart-breaking relief. Instantly his hands travelled further as he kissed you back with twice the fervour, hands sliding to grip your waist. Pulling you to him, he erased any distance between you, delving deeper into your mouth. He shuddered at how he went so long without your tongue swirling along with his, like parting from a lost companion.
Fingers sliding to his neck, you welcomed his enthusiasm, his desperation which heightened with every searing touch, every soft bite of his teeth against your lips. He broke away, peppering open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, eliciting the sweetest whining from you. 
“...missed you,” he murmured on your skin, sending chills down your body as he kissed the edges of your dress's neckline. “I...missed you so much.”
“Hyunjin—” you began, wanting to say that you yearned for him, but the words on your tongue faded when his fingers bunched up the skirts of your gown, hitching it higher until the midnight stockings were back in view — he did not stop there, pushing the fabric further till it bunched at your waist, along with the petticoats. His hurried hands pulled down your underthings, sliding them right off your legs, discarding them behind them.
Seeing your cunt glistening in the lamplight nearly broke him.
“I—God,” he breathed out, hands spreading your legs apart. An aching whine escaped you at the action, the cool night air caressing your inner thighs. “Angel, tell me...we do not have to do this.” He glanced up at you, and the madness residing in his eyes infected your soul. 
Maybe madness was the only reason you damned the consequences.
“Don’t you dare stop.”
Hyunjin licked his lips before blessing you with his closure.
The first stripe across your slit set you on fire. 
A soft groan through your mouth at the familiar sensation, the overbearing feeling of being ascended far away from this obscure bedroom. He had always worked wonders, but this time, the languor had faded, desire hardening his tongue against your folds. He pulled on your legs, sending his face further into your cunt, and you yelped at the ferocity of his actions. 
There was no denying it — the man had grown frantic without you.
Swiping in the arousal coating along your slit, a satisfied hum escaped him as he travelled upwards, your seething more encouragement. He struck gold as he found your clit, circling his tongue along the bud, rendering you helpless as you moaned without shame. You cared little if the guests heard you beyond the door, your husband making it too hard to contain yourself.
Perhaps you would have survived his treatment if he did not leave one of his hands upon your leg, trailing up your thigh. He slipped in not one, but two fingers straight inside, and your voice raised an octave — the gradual rhythm of his digits had that overflowing feeling creeping over you all over again. Your grip on his half-ponytail tightened, pleading for him to give you mercy, but the man was relentless, never opting for a break in his devouring.
“Damn it, please—” you grated out, instinctively rolling your hips against his face. The edge of the bed seemed more like the edge of the world. “Wh-whatever you do—”
You did not finish as Hyunjin squeezed your thigh, and you knew then in your dazed mind — a certainty that he understood. 
Within moments his pace quickened, fuelling the spark of nerves which swirled in your gut, threatening to overtake you. Teething your clit softly, then swirling his tongue along, you knew that if he carried on, he would break you on this bed. Something within you felt as if that was his was his very purpose.
Why the thought thrilled you, you would never know.
His rapid fingers and sensual tongue working harmoniously finally got through to you, as, with a whimpering cry, you came all over him, closing your eyes as spots of white stained your mind. You felt his ministrations slow, a small kiss gifted upon your sensitive clit before his lips pulled away. Other hand brushing across your leg, he soothed you from the high you experienced, whispers of his lilting voice perking you from your stupor.
“Hyunjin?” you quietly called, gazing at his lust-struck face. He did not look away as he brought the finger to his lips, sucking away at your residue.
You did not think you could ever get used to this image.
“Yes, angel?” he rasped out, straightening on his knees so his head nearly levelled with yours.
Catching the implications within your eyes, his own widened slightly.
“More?” he let himself wonder, and when you nodded much too desperately, he realised he had done it. 
All he needed was for you to voice it.
“Oh, my sweet little darling,” he whispered, taking one of your gloved hands. Slowly, he slid off the long gloves, repeating the same for the other. “This time, I cannot let you off.
His hands then clasped yours. “This time...I need you to say what you want for me.”
The declaration would have had you closing your legs in embarrassment if your husband was not between them. Not even embarrassment for what he said but...the idea of you wanting to completely oblige it.
Look at you — a few months ago, you possessed not a single inclination of what he suggested; what he asked for, what he so direly wanted you to say. The woman before this one would have rather buried herself under the earth than admit such desire for a man.
The Duke of Hastings, though, brought her out from her underground retreat, and revealed to her all that she was capable of. He showed her what everyone was so afraid to even talk about, and made you addicted to what was forbidden.
A dire shame you wanted Hyunjin to keep you intoxicated for the rest of your life.
You faced him once and for all. Asked him for the one thing which you never thought imaginable.
“Show me...all of it.”
Your hands travelled to his shoulders, keeping him close.
“Show me everything.”
If there was a way to bottle this moment and hang it on the walls of his heart, Hyunjin would have jumped at the chance.
Had he defiled you, after so long? Had he slipped his dirty fantasies into your mind, tainted you with his infatuation?
The answers to his questions were found upon your lips. He collided his own against yours as he gathered you up in his arms, standing up and taking you with him.
Your legs would have given way if we’re not for him keeping his grip — a grip which wandered upwards, catching the little metal hooks of your dress. He thrust his tongue inside your mouth, and the harsh frenzy delighted you, welcoming all of it as you opened for him wider. A shuddered breath escaped you at the hooks being undone by his hands, one by one till you felt your gown loosen.
At the last hook, Hyunjin pulled the sleeves off your arms, and the dress fell to the floor, leaving you with your corset and petticoats. You were caught off guard when he swivelled you around, you feeling the tugs of lace being unravelled with each pull of his fingers. The kisses did not cease, being rewarded at the crook of your neck. Each caress of his lips sent shivers down your spine — more so when he eased off the corset from your body, tugging off your petticoats along with it. 
All that was left was a thin, loose chemise, everything shown clearly beneath the white veil of its fabric. The man turned you to face him again, and his gaze turned molten at the sight that welcomed him. Taking your lips in his, he ripped off his own attire — the long coat, waistcoats, every piece from the waist up being discarded. He had to break away for a moment to take his shirt off, and you caught the sight of his lean figure, turned golden in the light. 
You could not help reaching out, running your curious fingers against his skin, soft and warm beneath your touch. He dared not speak, fearing you would take away your hand, but that was the last thing you wanted to do. 
Tonight, you did not want distance — and neither did he.
Kissing you again, he pulled the lace in front of your chemise, loosening the attire until, with wandering hands, he dropped the last layer you upheld. Slowly, never leaving your lips, he backed you against the bed, holding you steady as he laid you upon the sheets. You never let go of him, aching to take all of him in your mouth, taste his very soul till it was the only thing that remained on your tongue. 
“Fuck—” a curse escaped him as he broke away, catching the swelling of your lips. His gaze trailed downwards, upon your breasts which perked at the sight. “You’re so—so beautiful, I—”
Trails of open-mouthed kisses attacked you after, falling upon your breasts where Hyunjin began swiping his tongue along the nipple. The foreign wave of pleasure had you ripping out the most atrocious moan, caring less if the whole manor were to hear. 
While his tongue played with you, his fingers worked at his trousers, unbuckling his belt as he peeled off the clothing, tossing it to the ever growing pile. You craned your head forward, glancing at the bulge near bursting from his underwear. A quivering sigh escaped you, rendering louder by the quickening of his actions.
Getting rid of his underwear, his cock sprung free, and you were surprised you had not passed out from the mere sight, red and angry and too bloody big. You could not stop staring, hard to believe that a man could possess such...such substantial anatomy.
“Like what you see, angel?” Your husband mused, leaving his place upon your nipple. Flustered, you tried to look away, but it was no use, when the man caught your chin with his fingers. “I’m surprised you can be shy even now.”
That did not help with your situation, causing you to heat drastically beneath his touch. Chuckling, he dropped a little kiss upon your nose before resting his forehead against yours. 
Grasping his cock, he levelled it against your leaking cunt, the head teasing your folds. Even the small action had you seething, the warm residue sending shockwaves across your body. You held onto his neck, fearing you would lose yourself if you dared not hold onto him.
His midnight eyes turned to yours, noses brushing. “This may hurt for a second, ____,” he confessed, voice barely a murmur. “But I promise I will make that second up to you.”
Nodding slightly, you watched only him as his gaze travelled downwards. Fear threatened to take over, but one look at your husband, and it all faded.
With a final prayer to the heavens, Hyunjin began his descent.
Slowly, ever so slowly, his cock slid into your cunt. A heightened whine bubbled up to your throat, and you let it free with each inch that entered, terrified that this man could break you with what he slipped inside you. Your walls tightened with its entrance, and the more you voiced out the more he tended, peppering sweet kisses upon your cheeks.
You did not know how long it was till he stopped, letting you adjust to him inside you. Your eyes threatened to bulge out of their sockets, yet your husband was a huge comfort, circling smooth strokes upon your hip with his thumb, holding your face as he held the universe in his hands.
Breathing deeply, he glanced at you — a nod was your response to his consoling gaze, knowing what he meant.
With that, the duke began to pull out.
He was slow, just as he was when he first entered you. He was gradual, languid, and the terror that haunted you was replaced with a new, different kind of high. 
You had never felt something so pleasurable.
You revealed your surprise to Hyunjin, stare glistening at the foreign sensation — your entire body was up in the clouds, relishing the slow withdrawal and the skill he brought in the bedroom. You were so sure that he was terrified too, scared of ruining this, but all you could feel was pure, unadulterated delight.
When the head reached the beginning of your folds once again, you thought that this was it — there was no more to be done, and your contentment was short-lived.
However, your husband surprised you as he slid inside you once again. 
This time, there was a slight increase of pace, and it kept getting better, your feelings heightening with each passing second as he dipped further into you. He was so unbelievably good, knowing just how to make you whimper — God, his gaze was enough to undo you, ablaze with all the hellfire from the underworld. The devil worked hard, but Hyunjin worked overtime, bottoming out into you once more.
From that point on, your bodies began to move in sync, you giddily moving your hips along with his, aching to have him inside the whole time. Your hands carded through his velvety locks, taking out the ribbons so his hair fell all about him, curtailing his face as he rocked back and forth upon you. By God, he was so exquisite, something straight out of an artist movement, despite the sweat beading down his forehead, despite the parted mouth, the slight panting.
“H-Hyunjin—” you began, interrupted by another sharp moan from his efforts. “Hyunjin, I think I’m close—”
This time, you were interrupted by his lips upon your neck, teething love bites everywhere upon your skin. He hummed against you at your warning, and thrusted his cock into you. The head reached a certain spot which had you seeing seventh heaven, seeing truth and peace and everything in between, because fuck, he knew where to strike.
You did not know how long it had been till you felt yourself dizzying, the feeling in your lower abdomen warning you of its leash snapping. Hyunjin, aware that you were close, only brought his fingers to your clit, prodding at the bud till tears stung your eyes. 
“I...fuck, angel—!” He gasped between thrusts, pressing sloppy kisses upon your lips. “Look at you, all...all messed up from my cock!”
Heightened wailing was your response, broken murmurs being spewed from your lips. Hastily the man shook his head, revelling in your utter ruination.
“Ah—! Come on now!” he cooed in his husky rasp, holding onto your head. “Say it for me, darling.”
A part of you did not think you could manage, but you had to if it meant he would bring you relief. The duke may have been the love of your life, but he was still, undoubtedly, a smug bastard. 
Despite that, you could not believe how easily you resorted to begging. 
“Please, Hyunjin!” You pleaded in half-pants, the tears spilling when he delved into that one particular spot again. “Make me do—whatever the hell I do, damn it!”
Huffing out a small laugh, the man held onto you a little tighter, retaining his grin. “Oh, ____,” he said, and the next words slipped out in his haze of lust, not realising he had revealed something of terrible importance.
After planting another disheveled kiss, he murmured, “You are so lucky that I love you.”
You did not have time for this declaration to settle before your husband obliged you in the best possible way; his thrusting turned erratic, fast and uneven, and the increased pace of his fingers was too much, all at once.
You had no choice but to let out a cry as you spilled onto him — some escaped from your walls and stained the sheets, whimpering breaths keeping you alive. His ministrations slowed as well, fingers stopping at your clit. 
Watching you undo yourself for him was certainly the last straw for him — for the first time he released into you, grunting at the impact. Parts of his orgasm, too, sullied the sheets, but that was the least of his concerns, as he held onto you for dear life, nearly shattering his entire self upon you.
Pulling out of you, he collapsed beside you on the bed, his deep breaths breaking the silence. You, too, panted for a while, gazing up at the dark ceiling. 
You expected your first thought to be utter delight at your first time. You had finally done what no one in polite society ever told you about, and it was so wonderful that you doubt anyone would have shared in your fortune. 
However, your mind was occupied with another matter entirely.
You are lucky that I love you.
You closed your eyes. 
Hyunjin loved you. Hwang Hyunjin, your best friend and husband, loved you when you thought it impossible.
Something within you then wondered if it was too good to be true.
“____?”
Noticing your name, you turned, finding the very man staring at you — in a way which would have your theories proven true. You did not know about yourself, but seeing him before you, black locks disheveled, skin glistening from sweat, you could not deny that anyone would fall for him if they saw him now. 
You tried to push your emotions past you, blinking back a bit of fatigue. “Yes?”
“Tell me what goes on in that mind of yours.” Turning over, he propped his arm, holding his head in his hand. “Are you alright?”
Perhaps you should have opted for a vague yes, but something in you did not want to beat around the bush anymore. You wished to tell him your truth.
“I was wondering about what you said,” you began, reflecting his position. 
“I have said many things, darling,” the man drawled. “What do you specifically mean?”
“Well…” you tried to avoid his gaze, but you knew by now that evading Hyunjin was useless. “Before I...you know…”
“Know what?” He mused, which had you rolling your eyes. 
“You know what I mean!” Sighing, you continued, constantly looking at his features. “Well, just before that, you said something to me...is it true?”
Silence fell on the room as your husband pondered at your question. His eyebrows raised, and you realised that he had figured it out.
“Ah, yes,” he said, nodding. “I know exactly what you speak of.”
You waited for his response, suddenly aware of how naked you were in this bedroom. Dread curled at your stomach, and you debated grabbing the sheets and sneaking out of the manor. 
That is when Hyunjin gave you his answer. Gave it to you as he took your hand in both of his, pinning you with a stare he reserved only for you.
“They are the truest words I have spoken.”
He leaned into you, and your heart fluttered, much more dramatically now because of what he revealed.
A soul-saving smile adorned his lips. “Despite our circumstances, it was inevitable that I would fall, and I thank the heavens that I did. I love you, ____, even if you cannot return the feeling. I love you as the friend I never had.
“I love you because you are the most inspirational woman I have ever had the pleasure to meet.” 
When he finished, you wondered whether you had the words to respond to a confession as heart-wrenching as the one your husband blessed you with. Tears pricked the corners of your vision, and you leaned into his hands which cupped your face.
Brushing his lips against yours, you willingly accepted, giving him all the affection you garnered within you for so long. The tears trailed down your cheeks, and you had to pull away, hands curling at his locks.
“I-I…” you sniffled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hyunjin, I-I love you so much—”
The man’s heart burst from his chest.
His rashness got the better of him, interrupting you with a searing kiss as he sunk his teeth into your bottom lip. 
Never in his lust-hazed mind did he foresee you reciprocating his affection.
He was ready to spend eternity in a one-sided relationship. He was ready to stomach the melancholy you brought if you were to fall for another, or if you simply never loved at all, blankly living your life without any form of affection to give.
But…to have you fall for him. 
What he said to you was wrong.
You were not lucky that he loved you.
He was lucky that you loved him. 
So the Duke of Hastings, pulling the clean sheets upwards, showed you how lucky he was, deepening the kiss and you offering all of you again, moving your lips along with his. 
And in this night, the two of you made another revelation — that perhaps reality was not the villain in the both of yours tales after all. 
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THE DAYS AFTER THE BALL WERE NOTHING BUT EUPHORIA.
You wondered whether it was all a dream, with the happiness that followed without any strings attached. 
The passionate endeavours between the two of you did not stop at Seungmin’s manor — hands wandered in the carriage back home, and the moment you stepped at Lansdowne, Hyunjin backed you against the wall and ripped your dress right off, never wanting to stop ravishing you. You did not stop him, did not want to stop him, when you waited so long for him to engulf you without any barriers. By the time you both stopped in the shy hours of dawn, you had been drained of all physical strength, but filled with mental joy.
You fell in love with Hwang Hyunjin, and had the fortune of this love reciprocated. 
Sometimes, you wondered if it was all a dream — a twisted, subliminal illusion, tricking you into believing that marital life is what every writer writes of in the end, the solution filled with flowers and sweet kisses. You never thought, even in your wildest dreams, that you could achieve such bliss with another. 
Then, you would wake up with your husband’s arms around you, and finally understand. Finally comprehend what it meant, to never stray from a soul connected with yours. 
The weeks after also brought the finishing of your novel, your childhood dream all polished in your hands as you took it to the most famous publishers in town. You had fears of the reactions, as what you wrote during certain parts of the novel was borderline scandalous, but the men at the publishing house enjoyed the first few chapters you showed them, and asked for more on the next visit.
You were overjoyed by their reaction, but then doubt entered your mind at once — what if they were only agreeable to your writing because of your position? 
The thought soured your happiness. You did not want to be a writer because of your position in society, but because of your skill. There may have been thousands of other women with talents surpassing yours, but would never be able to achieve even the interest of a publisher. 
Hyunjin was the first to know of your news, and the worries which accompanied it. He listened to you on your second, third visits, scoffing at your disbelief of your turn of events. It was ridiculous in his mind how ardently you doubted yourself, waving off the publishers’ interests in your novel as sheer luck, or your station as the Duchess of Hastings. He assured you many a time, that your flair in creating stories surpassed no man or woman living in London. 
He knew those publishers well — well enough to know that they had never released a novel written by a woman, no matter how influential she may have been. Knowing you had managed to enter consideration for publishing was a feat in itself. The duke had absolutely no doubt that he would see your works in the hands of every person who knew how to read.
What you did not expect, however, was the request from the publishers to have your novel anonymously published. You demanded a reason, and they provided a whole list — women writing was only considered a secondary activity, and if word were to reach the city of a Duchess writing books instead of tending to her family, then it would cause an outrage. You could not believe your ears, despite a small part of you expecting this setback. 
You wanted your name on the book. 
Confiding in your husband once more, you told him of the condition, angrily pacing back and forth in your home. “It is simply...awful!” you spat, locking your hands behind your back, turning the room once more. Hyunjin watched you with a concerned look passing over his features as he looked up from his book. “Why should I hide my identity? I am proud of what I wrote, damn it!”
The man let out a sigh. “I think you should keep the name anonymous.”
That had you pausing. “I beg your pardon?” you demanded, thundering over to him. “Are you saying I conform to their conditions?”
“I am not suggesting it because of their reasoning. I know they are still too ashamed to try publishing a woman’s creation.” 
Closing his book, he set it to the side table. “My love, there is nothing that brings me more joy than seeing you accomplish your dreams. I want more than anything to boast of your mind, and the writings it invents. However,” he continued, “I fear when the public sees your name printed on the novel, a controversial one at that, and see it that they attack you.”
“But that does not matter to me,” you responded, hands on your hips. “In fact, I welcome their criticism! Let me see what poppycock they want to say of my hard work.”
Hyunjin clamped his lips together, trying to hide a smile. “I am happy you do not care for such people, but it would damage your future writings. It would damage your future.”
When you frowned at him, he held out his hands. You closed the distance, settling upon his lap, sliding your arms around his shoulders, while he did the same around your waist. “Tell me, angel, do you wish to write after this?”
“Of course.”
“Well, see it like this,” he began. “Let us say you publish the novel anonymously. It would be in instant circulation, and everyone would read it, no matter who they are. Why? Because your identity is hidden. There would be no bias against you.”
“So?” you asked, and Hyunjin gave you a look. “Okay, okay, continue!”
“As I was saying,” he carried on, “This would not only help you gain an initial audience, but, if you do wish to reveal yourself after that, then it would be perfect. You would have not only shown the public that a woman had written such a brilliant novel, but anyone who would have had previous biases would either conform to reading your writing, or be furious that they had been tricked into reading a woman’s novel.” He then added, smirking, “Which, in my opinion, would be a very amusing situation to witness.” 
You thought over what he said, mind in slight conflict. “In the end, though, it is your choice,” he reassured you. “Whatever you do, you have my undeterred support.”
The little addition had you smiling. “You make valid points,” you admitted, which had the man releasing a chuckle.
“You say that as if I have no intelligence,” he jeered, pulling you closer. “You will be thanking me when all of this goes as I predicted.”
“Don’t push it,” you countered. “We both know you have been proved wrong many times.”
“Hmmm…” he trailed off, leaning in, brushing his lips upon your skin. “At least I know I am right about one thing.”
“Oh?” Your head began to swim as he trailed a few lingering kisses up your neck. “And...and what would that be?”
He did not answer you — only offered an alluring smile before pressing his lips against yours. A soft hum left you as he moved his mouth against yours, slow and languid, teasing his tongue against the seams. 
You would have offered yourself right then and there if he had not broken away, drumming his fingers against your waist. The smile darkened as he gave you his reply.
“You cannot resist me, angel.” 
That, no matter how much it worked against your favour, was an undoubted fact.
After this though, you made your decision to keep anonymous, letting the publishers know of your change of heart. You knew that what Hyunjin said made sense, and, if your novel does receive recognition, then revealing yourself would create a huge statement in London society, positive or not. With this in mind, brought the final edited drafts of your work, and received information of the commissions and percentages taken by the publishing house.
Because the release of your novel was to take some time, you had some freedom with your everyday activities, which were once taken up by the constant editing. The duke, luckily, had begun to employ much more able men in his authority, and so his work was decreased significantly, to the point where he had days to spend with you alone.
During that waiting period, he suggested the two of you retreat to Hemingford, where you both spent your honeymoon. Your smile never left as you jumped at the idea, the man in turn making arrangements for the earliest carriage out of the city. 
Within two days, you were welcomed by the little manor, nestled in the gifts of nature. You found yourself warming to the whole place once more, memories of the past months returning in a flash. Images of the many groves of trees, small network of rivers and a special presence, soothed you in every part you walked through. You nearly forgot how dear Hemingford was to you in the chaos of city life, engulfing its regal, almost mystical atmosphere. A part of you hoped that the book would take forever to be published, so you could never leave the natural retreat Hyunjin’s ancestors had created.
The man himself was glad he opted to take you to the manor — he saw your nerves slowly taking over in London, and knew that the more you stayed in Lansdowne, the more the wait was going to eat you alive. Aware of your attachment towards this place, he made it his personal mission to bring you here, and try to provide you with a little peace. When he caught that certain smile of yours when your eyes fell on the manor and the gardens around it, he felt half his worries melting away in the spring air.
He hated seeing you so unnerved. 
After a few days resting in paradise, the situation was changed for the better. You, breathing in the very earth beneath your feet, observing the trees curved over you like a concerned parent, thought that you could stay here forever. Receiving a letter from the publishers’ of the near completion of copies made only brightened your spirits, and you sighed out into nature.
“Is something the matter?”
Perking up, you saw Hyunjin, who walked over from behind you. 
“Ah...not much,” you said, watching him settle beside you on the bench you sat upon, folding one dark-clad leg over the other. In his hands possessed a book of deep-shaded red, which he held with great care. “Thinking about the letter today.”
“I see.” His eyes wandered down to his fingers. “Actually, I do have something for you, relating to the subject.”
“Oh?” You followed his trail. “Does this book have something to do with it?”
“However did you figure that out?” He drawled, but then he faced you properly, unfolding his leg. “Here.”
You took the possession, eyes on him. “Whose book is it?”
A knowing smile escaped his lips. “Look at the front, angel.”
Curious, you obliged, checking the title. 
You completely stilled. 
Written on the front was the name of your novel. 
“Oh my God,” you got out, holding it with both hands, opening it to the pages. There it all was, inscripted upon the hundreds of pieces of paper.
Your writing.
Your sleepless nights, your labour, your every ounce of strength, tied together by paper and leather and string. 
Rushing, you opened to a random section of the novel, smile widening at the typewriter’s neat, cleaner version of your manic scribbles. The dialogue, the description of each environment — it was there before you, but this time it was not in your head, whirling indefinitely without a place to explain itself.
It was all on paper — in your very hands.
“H-Hyunjin,” you stammered out, not realising your heart was becoming a little too heavy. “Oh my God—where did you get this? Have they—they have begun to sell copies already?”
“Oh Lord,” your husband murmured, hands on your shoulders. “No, no, my love, this was of my own doing.”
When he caught the confused expression upon your aghast face, he explained further. “Before we left for London, I paid a visit to the publishers’, who had started typing up copies of your book. I requested the first copy made be given to me.”
His thumbs began to stroke soothing circles onto your skin. “I know you would have wanted to hold it in your hands before anyone else.”
Heavens above. He truly knew you so well.
You focused back on the book, closing it as you ran your fingers over the leather cover. “I…”
“No need,” he said, giving you an amused grin. “I already know I am the best husband one could ask for.”
He expected his banter to be returned, but you responded to him with a heart-shattering smile.
Holding out the book, you propped it in his hands. “I want you to have it, Hyunjin.”
This time, it was his turn to be confused. “Am I missing the joke here?”
You held his gaze, albeit with much difficulty. “I promised you something once, quite a long time ago. All my firsts are yours.” 
Your hand reached out, brushing against his. “This is my first novel. My most prized possession.” A pause, before holding that state with all your might. “I would want nothing more than for you to keep it.”
The duke used his every ounce of strength not to cry upon the bench. “Well then…” he began, taking the book from you. He turned to the front page, which was blank, save for the title name again, and the written anonymously typed onto its surface. “Well, ____, you must sign it for me!”
A laugh escaped you at that. “An autograph?” You jested, spluttering further when the man brought out his fountain pen, opening the cap. “I suppose with this enthusiasm, I shall throw in a little message.”
Hyunjin slapped a hand to his chest, brows raising in mock surprise. “By God, you spoil me!”
“Give it here!” You retorted, taking the pen and book once more as you found the landing page. 
You pondered for a few minutes on what to write, earning a few hurry ups! and the occasional she does not love me after all, the latter greatly exaggerated. Berating him, you finally thought of the words, arriving straight from the heart. 
Finishing off, you gave the novel back. “Let us see what faux sweetening you have made for me,” he chortled, eyes lowering to the text.
His grin began to fade as he read the message in his mind.
TO THE MAN WHO WAS MY FIRST FRIEND, MY FIRST KISS, AND NOW MY FIRST LOVE.
HERE’S TO MANY MORE FIRSTS WITH YOU. I KNOW THEY WILL ALL LAST. 
I LOVE YOU. 
Hyunjin knew that the sting in his eyes was not the spring breeze.
Slowly, he looked up, catching you staring at him with a smile—loving smile upon your face. A shuddered breath left his lips, unable to form the words.
“Oh no,” you began, jesting despite tears welling up in your own eyes. “It seems the duke believes in my faux sweetening after all.”
A coughed laugh left him at that, trying to clamp his lips together from smiling, but his emotions refused him to suppress himself. His eyes crescented, adding to his near teary grin. Propping the book to the side, he offered his familiar stare, laced with every fibre of affection.
“Come here.”
You jumped at the command, leaning closer as he cupped your face in his hands and pulled you to him. He moulded his lips against yours, and you readily accepted him, offering yourself up entirely for him — as if you were not completely his by your own choice.
The slight madness laced upon his mouth had you whining onto him, taking in the entirety of his affection as you opened up to him. Your request was teased upon with his tongue, sliding along your bottom lip, but the man pulled away, panted breaths fanning your mouth.
He pressed his forehead against yours, fingers holding onto your face as if letting go would cause you to stray. “I…” he let out a deep, trembling breath. “I love you, ____. So much.”
Your heart would never tire of the declaration. “I love you too, Hyunjin.”
And as he claimed your lips once more, you wondered whether you had finally achieved what every work of literature praised in the most elevated of languages. 
Still, at least you knew this — that once there was a duke who you promised all your firsts to, and had somehow found his way into your heart. 
There was once a woman, who refused to believe in love for herself, only for this duke to convince her otherwise, by falling for her completely.
Love stories may be a mere creation of the mind, but at least, at the very least, you knew.
Your love story was real. The first which was not mere fantasy, but real and true and tangible.
You had a feeling that this first, out of all the others you shared with the Duke of Hastings, was going to last.
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hwajin · 2 months ago
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𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤
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genre: fluffiest fluff, a bit suggestive
warning: noneee
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ᴄʜᴀɴ
shy boiiiii, but it kinda depends on the situation if ya know what i mean? like if you kinda just- walk up to him, sit down on his lap and disturb him from whatever he was doing just moments prior, catching him in a sweet kiss before your lips travel further down he gets all giggly and starts blushing like crazy. he'd ask what exactly the reason for your attack was and if you answer with a simple "because i wanted to" he'd chuckle a bit, still flustered, before his hands would find themself on your waist, his work long in the back of his mind.
ᴍɪɴʜᴏ
is honestly taken aback simply because you're rarely the one indicating kisses or tend to act clingy, and he lets you know of his confusion by giving you a questioning look which doesn't stop you from your antics tho. your lips keep tickling his sensitive skin and minho hates to admit how much his heart starts fluttering at the feeling and his cheeks uncontrollably tint a soft pink, which you're quick to notice and tease, making the boy defend himself which only makes you giggle more.
ᴄʜᴀɴɢʙɪɴ
he LIVES for neck kisses, either it's him kissing you or the other way round, he just loves the intimacy of it all and the tickling and giddy feeling of fluttering touches on his skin. that's why this sort of affection isn't something unknown at all between the two of you, either of you just randomly, whenever you felt like it and had some time alone, walking up to the other and planting smooches all over. your hands, whenever you were the one showering your boyfriend in love, would never stay at the same place, always roaming around his body and ocassionally squeezing his arms, broad shoulders or sneaking under his shirt to dance around his chest and abs, making the male smirk down at your actions.
ʜʏᴜɴᴊɪɴ
giggles and chuckles and small laughs would fill the whole room the moment your lips meet hyunjin's skin, his sweet sounds infecting you and making you chuckle slightly against him as well, which would cause goosebumps to form all over the boys' body, his heart swelling impossibly at your cuteness. he loves the softness you manage to create in those moments, loves how tenderly you kiss him as if he's the most precious thing you have ever laid your hands on, loves how you'd look up at him from underneath your lashes from time to time and his heart goes weak all over again. with him, different from changbin, it would be his hands always on you, stroking your hair, massaging your shoulders or simply caressing your hair and looking at you so lovingly that you get shy locking eyes with your boyfriend.
ᴊɪsᴜɴɢ
his reaction really a hundred percent depends on his mood only, either being insanly cocky and jokingly teasing about it, constantly saying stuff like "yo you really can't keep your hands off me for one second huh" making you roll your eyes, OR he'd just start blushing like crazy, eyes going wide and so so flustered that he just starts stuttering and giggling and you can't keep quite serious as well and your heart jumps a bit at how he reacts to a simple kiss from you onto his neck. you'd not waste an opportunity to tease him about it too, which only makes him even shyer, his heart pounding against his chest, hoping you won't hear it.
ғᴇʟɪx
loveslovesLOVES the skinship and the touches and the closeness and everything about it. it's not even particularly the neck kisses only that make his heart go all soft for you, it's the whole sharing moments and loving each other in the sweetest way possible that gets him to smile all brightly when he feels your lips grazing over his skin as lightly as feather. you'd like- talk with him, just casually holding a conversation in between pecks and kisses which makes him chuckle a bit, finding everything about it just so adorable. he's also one to never not have his hands on you, always caressing you somehow, even in the most subtle way while your lips roam around his neck and throat and the back of his ear, making shivers run down his spine.
sᴇᴜɴɢᴍɪɴ
gets a bit surprised at your sudden actions since i feel like neither of you'd be all over each other all the time, showing your love to each other rather subtly, not as straightforward normally. so the moment you'd so casually, as if nothing is happening, trail your lips from his own ones down to his chin and across his jawline until finally meeting his neck, his eyes would widen just a little bit as he'd ask you what you're doing, and why all the while chuckling slightly. he wouldn't be one to wanting to show his flustereness too much, but after all he'd be helpless against the effect you have on him, his cheecks and ears tinting red as he tries to get you off him in embarrassment.
ᴊᴇᴏɴɢɪɴ
just starts laughing all shyly and tries to push you off cuz boy got shy at your sudden clingliness, wouldn't be able to deny how much his heart started fluttering though, the softest touch of your lips against his neck sending off butterflies in his stomach, your hot breath tickling his skin causing goosebumps to cover his whole body. you'd love teasing him about his ears that would start turning red, the defending and somewhat annoyed tone in his voice making you laugh a bit at the boy. after a while he'd finally shut up, deciding that he likes your kisses too much to refuse them.
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tagging: @leihey @happycandynoelle @minholeefelix @cotccotc @etherealeeknow @linoskitty @unexceptional-h @rseanne @diue @es-kay-zee @urcracksisx @jeyelleohe @yunkiwii @thuderous @nyrasneedy @seochhj @imagineinnie
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cosmic-railwayxo · a month ago
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❜─maybe it's not our fault
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(thanks to my bestie @byunfirstlady for this beautiful banner! <3)
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✧˖*°࿐ summary: After a nasty break up that left you both heartbroken, Hyunjin goes back home for the summer to get away from everything and spend some quality time with his family. When summer ends and college starts once again, you both are set on avoiding the other at all cost, almost like your relationship didn’t even exist to begin with. But what will happen when in a surprising turn of events, your best friends start dating and one of their main goals is to restore the peace among your broken relationships?
Will these circumstances get you back together or put an end to everything once and for all?
Or alternatively: the one where being ‘just friends’ with your ex proves to be the most difficult task of them all.
✧˖*°࿐ pairing: dance major!hyunjin x music major!reader (ft all the skz members)
✧˖*°࿐ genre: social media!au (with some written parts), college!au, angst, exes-to-lovers!au, slow burn, fluff, humor (I mean...that's the plan anyway)
✧˖*°࿐ warnings: cursing
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♡. schedule: i'll try to post twice a week, maybe even more if I have the time
♡. taglist: OPEN (send me an ask if you want to be added)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Profiles:
y/n&hyunjin's friends
Chapters:
chapter 1 - he's back or whatever
chapter 2 - this ain't about him
chapter 3 - liar, liar
chapter 4 - goldilocks wants to party
chapter 5 - 3racha in the building
chapter 6 - who??
chapter 7 - the break up
chapter 8 - mom and dad
chapter 9 - introducing: mr drop dead gorgeous
chapter 10 - the cat’s finally out of the bag
chapter 11 - fan behavior
chapter 12 - incoming call
chapter 13 - wrong about forever
chapter 14 - 
chapter 15 - 
chapter 16 - 
...
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stollengoods · 3 months ago
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Joyride
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Your horny af when Hyunjin picks you up in his car
"I'm here"
You quickly gathered your things and sprayed yourself with your best colone/perfume across your chest and around your head before sprinting out the door into his car.
When you shut the door behind you, he looked up from his phone, "Sorry, I would've knocked but I'm pretty sure there's a couple of paparazzis following me-"
Reaching over the middle console you crashed your lips against his, cutting off whatever he was going to say next. The windows were tinted enough that if it turned out to he paparazzi they would only be able to see a glossy black reflection of themselves starring back at them.
He seemed taken aback for a second, then he began slowly kissing you back slipping in his tongue making you slow down your hungry pace. You didn't even realize you were moaning until the hand that was lightly holding your face began choking your neck.
The vibrations of your moans ricochet back and forth against his hand and your neck. You absolutely loved it, smiling into the kiss while one of your hands gripped just below his wrist, caressing it with your thumb to show you enjoyed it.
He pulled away, your faces only centimeters apart and held eye contact with you for a while. No doubt he sensed the hunger in them, the desire to be touched by his long thin fingers.
You tried not to seem too desperate and bit your lip to suppress any words or sounds that dared to come out. He put the gear shift in drive and began heading towards the house him and a couple of his members had rented together.
Male reader:
Female reader:
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hyunsuks-beanie · 18 days ago
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Chan NSFW Alphabet
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Mellow speaks: I've had 2-3 requests for an NSFW Alphabet for Channie, so here we are!! Sorry for the wait, and I hope you guys enjoy reading!! Keep the comments and requests coming xoxo! PS. The concept photos are so pretty pls I'm simping-
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A = Aftercare
(What they’re like after sex)
If it's Chan, you can rest assured that the man is the king of aftercare. No matter how tired he is, he will insist on the whole nine, cleaning you (and himself up), drawing a warm bath if need be, getting a quick fix from the kitchen if you end up getting hungry, and finally just cuddling you until falling asleep. He always says he falls asleep miraculously well after having sex with you, and so, you obviously can't pass up on the chance to drag him to bed after a session. That being said, if he's too tired or if it's the rare occasion of you taking the lead, then he would love to have you be the one to take care of him.
B = Body part
(Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His upper body, including his arms, shoulders, and torso. Being the workout beast that he is, it's not surprising that he's proud of the way his body looks. And of course, what's all the more fun is having you grip his shoulders as he rams into you, or place fluttering kisses over his toned abs, or using his hands and arms to choke you. About you, Chan actually has quite a hard time picking, since he's just a sucker for all of you. But if he had to choose, he'd probably say your face, loving the way it contorts into pleasure and desperation every time you have sex.
C = Cum
(Anything to do with cum basically)
Chan is one of the biggest oral givers you will ever come across. He just lives for hearing your moans while he eats you out, the taste of your juices from your practically seeping cunt driving him insane with how good it tastes. He could go on eating you out for hours, getting a taste but not letting you cum (man's motto is edging and he said it himself). He just loves having you squirming under him, reminding you every now and then about the power he holds over you merely with his tongue. As for his cum, he often prefers to enter you raw, but pull out just before he cums, only to have you suck him out toll he reaches his climax.
D = Dirty Secret
(Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He might seem like the type of person who wouldn't like it when you're getting too close with someone else, but in reality, he enjoys watching you pay attention to others in order to get him to pay attention to you, loving the slightly scared expression on your face from knowing you're doing something you shouldn't be doing. Moreover, it gives him a chance to be rough with you, breaking his usual soft dom image for once while passing it off as jealousy.
E = Experience
(How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Again, if it's Chan we're talking about, you can rest assured that he has ample experience when it comes to sex. He knows just what positions he likes, and just what his kinks are. But that doesn't mean he'll tell you all about them, choosing to have you figure them out yourself while dropping only subtle hints for you. He's an avid learner, and that applies to your body as well. He will continue wrecking you until he can read every contour of your form like a page from a book.
F = Favourite Position
(This goes without saying)
The classic, with him on top of you and you a writhing mess under him. Don't get him wrong, he's game for exploring any position you'd like and occasionally even is the one to suggest it, but he just loves ramming into you while being able to see your face, your arms on his shoulders and your legs wrapped around his torso.
G = Goofy
(Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Chan insists on being serious while having sex, feeling like he won't be able to satisfy you if he breaks character. This holds true especially for times when sex is rough, him wanting to be completely in control. That being said though, it's rather easy to get him all flustered, a couple praises and compliments and he turns into a blushing mess, laughing and acting all silly with you.
I = Intimacy
(How are they during the moment, romantic aspect-)
Chan is the king of intimacy, making even a quickie seem like the best sex of your life, thanks to his amazing ability to turn everything romantic. Holding hands, singing your praises, worshipping your body, you name it, he's done it. He just wants to make sex as pleasurable for you as possible, while also expressing how grateful he is to have you with him. What he can't say through words, he expresses through his actions. When it's time for vanilla sex, he really becomes the softest dom ever. His kisses are soft as a feather, and his touch is barely there. But he still manages to make you feel things like no one else can.
J = Jack Off
(Masturbation headcanon)
Jacking off has become a rarity since he has met you, but occasionally, he does find himself getting hard to the mere thought of you (the dirty photos and videos on his phone don't really help). It's usually when he's all alone, working in his studio. He'll feel himself be turned on, and then would proceed to link his phone to his laptop, so that he can jerk off while devouring your sexy moments on the big screen in his room.
K= Kink
(One or more of their kinks)
The fact that Chan has a choking kink is pretty much canon at this point, we all know those hands would be amazing as cutting off someone's oxygen supply during sex, so you can bet he knows it too. He loves the way your neck is very conveniently located directly under him when he's on top of you, granting his hands easy access to your soft skin. He would caress the pit of your throat before wrapping his fingers around your throat, choking you softly. Another kink of his would probably be hot wax play. There's just something about him that screams the fact that he would love pouring tiny amounts of hot wax over you, before wiping it away and kissing the redness on your skin. I can also see him loving the idea of making videos of you two while you have sex, carefully storing them away only for his eyes to see.
L = Location
(Favourite places to do the do)
Apart from the bedroom, his number one place to drive into you would be his studio, you giving him head from under the table while he works, followed by him fucking you senseless on the couch. He would also be game for having sex in the gym, loving the very idea of turning you on by showing off how great his body looks while he works out. While these two are his favorite spots, I feel like Chan is the type of person to not really care where you are, as long as you can have a good time.
M = Motivation
(What turns them on, gets them going)
Massage his shoulders, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, and tell him how great he is. That's all it takes to have him reeling, making him fuck you in the softest way possible. If you want things to be more rough though, you're going to have to work work little harder. Make him jealous, pay attention to someone else, or better yet, tease him while he works. Give him head, grind on his lap, give him hickeys, and before long, he'll have you pinned against the wall as he rams into you.
N = NO
(Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Bondage, especially when it's you who wants to put him under cuffs. I mean, you can't blame him when we all know his hands are his best weapons when it comes to wrecking you. When you're the one cuffed though, things may well be different. Another thing I don't see him being into would probably be fluid play of any kind. He just seems like the type to be grossed out by it.
O = Oral
(Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
As I said before, he's the best giver you'll ever come across. He takes immense pleasure in being the one to pleasure you, loving the feeling of your core coming in contact with his tongue while his fingers torture your bud. When it comes to receiving, he usually considers it to be a way of de-stressing, feeling his tiredness seep away while he watches you give him a blowjob, his hands pushing your face down every so often. P = Pace
(Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
You can bet on him to like to take thing slow and sensual 75% of the time, wanting to take his time showing you just how special you are to him, and making the atmosphere as romantic as he possibly can. But when he's not in a good mood, or when you're passing him off and all he wants to do is wreck you, all hell would break lose as he thrusts into you like a tide, edging and overestimating you until you cry, choking you until you can't breathe, denying your orgasm till you beg him. Q = Quickie
(Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He usually isn't one to go for a quickie, instead preferring to finger and tease you or have you suck on him under the table. The real deal is reserved for later, when he has you all to him. That being said, when you do end up having a quickie, he usually fills it up with sweet talk and praises, taking way longer than what a quickie would normally take. He can't help it, he just loves the very of you being close to him.
R = Risk
(Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He will definitely be down to experiment as long as it doesn't make him uncomfortable. As I said before, he's into a hell lot of kinks, from choking, bondage, hot wax play (and by extension ice play as well), roleplays, exhibitionism, making sextapes, to teasing in public.
S = Stamina
(How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Since it's Chan we're talking about, it's pretty much a given that he can go at least three rounds, overestimating you until he's satisfied. Even when he's being soft, he loves to draw you out for as long as he can, claiming that it makes the orgasm feel even more real (he's not wrong though). Thrusting into you, two to three rounds come rather easily to him, as he feels himself be spurred on the pretty sounds you make.
U = Unfair
(how much they like to tease)
He doesn't consider it being "unfair" per say, since he believes that drawing you out will make the orgasm more satisfactory. But that's just his way of justifying his actions of being a complete tease who wouldn't relent until he has you begging for him to let you cum. Overstimulation is the key, and he doesn't shy away from teasing you even when you're in public, his fingers torturing your core under the table.
V = Volume
(How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Normally, apart from soft giggles and the constant slew of praises, Chan isn't all that vocal when the sex is soft. The most would be an occasional moan or a low grunt, but that's about all. But when things get spiced up, the grunts become louder, while the moans are replaced by him urging you to scream his name, making you make up for his lack of volume while feeding his ego of being the only person who can wreck you like this.
X = X-Ray
(Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)
With Chan, there's practically no other opinion about his dick other than that he's huge. And by huge I do mean huge, like it would feel as if you walls are about to burst every single time he enters you, and you would struggle to take him in while giving him a blowjob. He knows how to keep himself well-groomed, and I believe that would be the case down there too. Y = Yearning
(How high is their sex drive?)
Chan doesn't need much stimulus to have sex with you, his energy being high enough to keep his drive high as well. This is especially true when he's either in a very good mood and wants to shower all his love on you, or when you've managed to make him angry beyond words and all he wants to do is to show you your place by fucking you senseless. Even when he's not particularly in the mood, you have learned all the ways to get him riled up.
Z = ZZZ
(… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
This chronic insomniac does fall asleep eventually, but not before he watches you sleep soundly after having sex with him for at least an hour. Having sex with you is a great way for him to release stress and tire his body out, and the cuddles that come after every session are a huge added bonus. He just loves holding you close, admiring how gorgeous you look after being totally fucked out. He does give in to sleep sooner or later, your embrace calming him down.
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pesiko · 5 months ago
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HYUNJIN ONESHOT RECS
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Double Trouble - to not be the perfect daughter [27.8k]
Sunrise - beauty and the beast AU [26k]
The Duke and I - marriage to be a successful writer M [25k]
Two Types of Fireworks - tangled AU [21.2k]
A Throne of Roses - king Hyunjin arranged marriage [16.7k]
Crown of Thorns - after ur marriage danger still lurks [14k]
Party Cup - your 1 braincell is heart shaped for him [12.2k]
Dandelion - second guessing everything but him [12.2k]
Four - they say good things come in fours [11.7k]
Backseat Driving - introduced to street racer Hyunjin [10k]
Coughing Up the Butterflies That Died in My… M [9.7k]
Forget Me Not - tingle that feels like a little hope [8.8k]
Love in Times New Roman - secret admirer [8k]
Define It - when your best friend stays home [7.8k]
Nobody Compares to You - constantly paired w Hyunjin [7k]
Because I Love You - stableboy Hyunjin and a princess [7k]
Purple Looks Good on You - soulmate pain bond [6.4k]
It’s Knot You - when the red cord of fate malfunctions [5.9k]
To be Alone - help bc she couldn’t sleep at night M [5.7k]
Drunken with a Sense of Love - caring in similar ways [5.5k]
True Love’s Irony - never just prince Hyunjin’s servant [5.3k]
Hyunjin’s Playlist - it all seems to make perfect sense [5.2k]
Pain in the Ass - soulmate tat & Taeyong’s xmas party [5k]
Story Told in Gems - star tears and the store owner [4.8k]
Heart Eyes and a Picnic Basket - bad boy Hyunjin [4.3k]
Shoot Your Shot - staring at him at basketball games [3.9k]
Apricity - heated argument worsens the separation [3.7k]
Never Take Your Eyes off the Target - to do his job [3.3k]
Heather - “you’ll always have me too” [3.1k]
Snacks and Snaps - bumping into someone [2.9k]
Who Let the Dogs Out - another reason to love dogs [2.8k]
Pizza Boy - the new delivery boy is super cute [2.8k]
Home - “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure” [2.7k]
Sweet Rivalry - everything was a competition b/w you [2.7k]
Sweet Tooth - united with your soulmate by taste [2.6k]
A Little Pick Me Up - worried after you faint at school [2k]
Limerence - “I want my best friend back” [1.9k]
Mario Kart - through the power of Mario Kart [1.9k]
The Visit - “watch another horror so you can cry?” M [1.8k]
Redamancy - with dance partner Hyunjin [1.6k]
Pretty Cute - a snatched unofficial confession [1.6k]
The Morning After - questioning your relationship [1.5k]
Tell Me Again (Why I Love You) - bad boy confession [1.5k]
Coffeeboy - only place cliches are allowed to happen [1.3k]
Strike - your best friend would do anything to win [1.2k]
The Nutcracker - he didn’t want to watch the ballet [1.1k]
As the Wind Blows - “am I your lockscreen?” [1k]
Back in Time & Forward in Time
❥ HYUNJIN NAVI
[main masterlist] [stray kids masterlist] updated 7-31-21
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chans-bad-girl · 3 months ago
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splash (against my skin)
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!!mature content ahead!!
588 words of really sensual bathtub sex with switch!hyunjin x fem switch!reader
diegetic song rec: Two Feet's Quick Musical Doodles
warnings: bathtub sex (duh), blindfold, praise/compliment, strong language, dirty talk, pet names, piv, riding, clitoral stimulation (because, fun fact, the vast majority of females can't reach orgasm just through penetrative sex), mentions of dirty texts and pictures, creampie
a/n: Thanks for 100 followers💙
hyunjin’s muscles relax once his body rests in the bathtub. candles lit and two feet on, he pushes his long brown strands back. with you two living alone, he doesn’t lock the door, and you take advantage of that sometimes.
today you enter in his dark grey shirt that fits you as a dress, taking it off slowly to reveal no underwear. orange light dances on his damp face as you hold eye contact. once you kneel in front of the bathtub, hyunjin searches for your lips, but instead you meet him with a blindfold. when you wrap the wine red silk around his head, he bites his lip and leans his head back.
the water warms your legs, but the sight of Hyunjin—head thrown back, hair wet, body sprawled out—gives you goosebumps. his erection presses against your core as you sit on his lap, and you haven’t even done anything yet.
you touch him up, from his lower stomach to his jaw, and kiss him. his hands wander up and down your silhouette as if to make up for his lost vision. whimpers in your mouth and the movement of his hips speak for his eyes: he needs you.
“baby, speak to me.”
“I want you so bad, please, ride me.” his voice breaks, breaths heavy, as his hand searches your entrance.
“good boy.”
a whine drips off his lips at the name, and he twitches in your hand. You’ve both been worked up all day, sending texts of pleads and photos to tease. now that he finally slides inside you, your walls clench and don’t waste a second until you thrust down on him.
you swallow each other's moans, chest to chest. usually, he loves staring at your boobs bouncing as you lose yourself around his girth. but this time, he can only feel the friction between your bodies, smell the amber off the candles.
when you start pulling on his hair, a loud moan echoes through the bathroom and he releases spurts of his cum into your hole. his breaths move his whole body, abs flexing, jaw clenched. you always love watching him, feeling him twitch inside you.
“fuck, turn around baby, lay your back on me.” he takes his blindfold off and tosses it mindlessly.
once you’re turned around, he admires your body and takes his time to glide his hands all over. from your chest to your thighs.
“so pretty. I hate that fucking blindfold.”
one hand rests over the junction of your neck and chest while the other pushes his cum back inside.
“push it back out for me, baby.” he takes his fingers out and watches his cum slowly drip down and mix with the water. fast circles on your clit make you gasp, and wet kisses to your neck have you moaning out right after.
your squirming pushes water to clap against your bodies over “quick musical doodles”. it only takes Hyunjin a whisper of “cum for me” and a few particularly consistent strokes of your clit, and you come undone above him. he loves to watch you as you scream of pleasure, all because of him, as you shut your legs close and squirm on his skin.
“shhh, let’s stay here for a bit.” around your middle, his arm hugs you close to him, his lips cling to your ear. he sings along to the song, and the next, and the one after. he just can’t find it in him to end this post-orgasmic bliss, and neither can you.
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changbinsgirlfriend · 3 months ago
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hand holding makes my heart 🥺🥺 so this is how i think different members of stray kids would hold their s/o’s hand.
( by the way i try and make all of these gender neutral because one i personally go by she/they pronouns and i also much prefer to read neutral fic so yea, i hope you guys don’t mind that <33 you can always request gender specific fics’s though <33 )
chan — he doesn’t grab your hand a lot i’m not gonna lie, he gets a bit shy tbh. like is he annoying you? do you wanna hold his hand? does it make you uncomfy etc (i can relate to this 😀) so it does have to be you who initiates the hold first but after that he will cling to your hand like a life line. l o v e s holding your hand it literally makes him so giddy so eventually he will sweetly ask you if you mind him grabbing your hand and when you tell him of course not, your hand is always gonna in his. walking down the street, holding hands, eating dinner, holding hands, in bed watching tv, holding hands. trying to tie your shoes, holding hands. what i’m trying to say is don’t let go of this mans hand he loves the contact sm. but i mean have you seen his hands, i would literally be clinging to them 24/7 if i could tbh. running your fingers over his veins while you sit beside each other. playing with his fingers when talking. yea.
lee know — an annoying whore. always pulls his hand out of your hold. but when you stop taking his hand he only gets worse, he will complain that you don’t love him anymore, throwing his arms about until you just grab his hands to shut him up. he tried to pretend that he hated it, but then when you gave him space it broke his heart. he loved having your hands in his. the way your face would light up and you would bring his hands to your lips and kiss his knuckles. he also likes to tease you about how much smaller your hands are than his. i feel like when you walk together he would obnoxiously throw your hands about, swinging them realky high to the point where you are nearly hitting people and he finds it hilarious. but there is also soft moments, like when he notices that you look anxious or sad and he will silently slip beside you and take your hand, holding it gently, showing that he is there for you and supporting you even if he doesn’t say the words.
changbin — i need to stop making everything i write about this man soft but,,, he loves holding hands okay 😔 it literally makes his face light up and he would literally cut off his own arm if it meant using the other to hold you for the rest of his life. he adores when you do it, rushing up to him and taking his hand, but he also always clings to your hand, it’s like a way of greeting. he just takes your hand, and drifts to your side. i feel like changbin is big on pda, and handholding is a very respectable way of doing that because he can’t exactly hug you walking down the street, or have you in his lap in a restaurant. so hand holding for you guys is reassurance and closeness. it also maybe is a way of showing to other people that you are his s/o,,, protective changbin movement rise. another thing, when he is shy, his hands are on you instantly. i also feel like you guys have a code, like you just say a word and the other knows to take their hand, yes you are that couple. i feel like i’ve spoken about hand holding while you sleep a lot in this post but i love holding hands when i sleep so, you two cuddling while holding hands at night, i think absolutely yes it makes me so happy.
hyunjin — i have SO much to say about me hwang hyunjin. because one after changbin this man is my fav/ bias wrecker/ kinda just shared bias at this point (this is reminding me i need to write a one shot about him but n e ways) yea, holding his hands. his rings. my head is S P I N N I NG. he seems like the kind of person who would slip his hand into yours like so mf smooth like he’s in a room com and like lace your fingers together and just look at you and grin. i’m gonna sob why am i so into this. but like, yea holding your hand like this. hyunjin always has your heart racing tbh <33 as i was saying, subtle hand touches are so his thing. slowly drifting his fingers over the back of your hand, gently caressing it until you grab it or he gives in, wanting to hold it. will get pouty if you ever take your hand out of his when he isn’t ready. classic side eye material so watch out. also fucking adores you playing with his rings, will literally be close to jumping up and down watching you twist them on his fingers and will demand you do it all the time. puts on his rings even on days where you stay indoors just so you do it. also loves to put them on you, giggling at how big they are. he also seems the kind of person who likes to sleep holding hands, like he doesn’t need to cling to you, but if your are laying face to face, lands locked and on the pillow between you. his heart will literally melt. bonus point if you would let kkami on the bed with you guys but dogs make me so anxious so 🚶‍♂️
han — prefers to cuddle tbh, but would happily hold your hand if that is not an option. def will hug you in really weird places and you just have to accept it, but that is not what this post is about SO. he gives me soft hand vibes idk why, so holding his hand is a treat if i’m being honest. i feel like he holds your hand really tight, like especially in social settings he will be grasping you like you are gonna disappear which ends in big apologies when he notices later how red your hand is. kind of person who likes to hold both hands, sitting together and facing each other while booth of your hands are clasped while you chat is his all time favourite thing to do, it makes him feel so close to you without having to be extremely intimate because i mean come on he lives in a busy dorm. likes holding your hand when he’s tired, like you could be doing something and he will come up behind you and take your hand and rest his head on your shoulder, leaning heavily into you while using you hand to ground himself. bye he’s so cute.
felix — ahhh, our very own tiny hands. tbh, pretty sure his hands are still bigger than mine so that’s how i’m gonna write it but we move. so he loves holding your hand because he finally had bigger hands than someone, and you love holding his hand because he always gets so happy when he sees your hand completely dwarfed by his. so are you feeding into his ego just a tad? definitely. do you mind? absolutely not he looks so happy. felix is a sweetheart so he would love to go on walks with you around the park while holding hands, swinging them gently as you do so. having picnics and laying side by side holding each other’s hands, it’s like a ritual for you two, same goes for star gazing. also not to be a bits nsfw but hand holding during sex is a must for him. you two also so paint your nails matching and always take cute pictures of you holding hands being absolute goals omg i need this. i just feel like felix loves holding your hand, like he will just drag you about by your linked hands while you are grocery shopping, literally running from isle to isle while you are giggling. lee felix would be the best boyfriend tbh,,, headcanons of felix as a boyfriend anyone? <3
seungmin — okay so i never realised how sweet seungmin was until i got his bubble, like i know he’s a cutie but he’s actually so sweet and caring and it makes my heart hurt omg. like the other day he was talking about how he wishes he could give back more to stay and i was in tears. so anyways so off topic, but i feel like in a lot of fics seungmin is described as kind of cold and closed off. but i feel like with a s/o he would be the sweetest angels and i will not take constructive criticism. at all. he loves holding your hand okay, pressing kisses on the backs of your hand and on each knuckle. holding it close to his chest like right over his heart. smiling so big whenever you take his hand into yours, like i mean that beautiful wide smile he has. i feel like his favourite way to sleep is him spooning you while your hands are linked in front of you, it just, yea it’s so cute. i feel like people would try and tease him for being an absolute sap and literally dropping his own phone if it meant holding your hand but he does not care, that’s the love of his life and he loves it. literally has to has you back stage at performances so you guys can hold hands before to help with his anxiety, will lay on your lap with your hands together resting on his chest while you talk to him, maybe even humming to him as he gets prepared. mmm i need a seungmin one shot now. anyone wanna see this scenario of you calming seungmin down before a show? <3
jeongin — like chan, he is very shy to take your hands at first, screams and shouts and giggles when you do it. but after a while he begins craving that affection and starts coming to you instead. he seems like the kind of guy who tries to be sly about it and gently brushes his hand against yours, using one finger at a time until you are finally holding hands. he’s just so,,, i love him. has definitely asked the other members for advice on how to hold a girls hand and they showed him some chick flick but we move. anyways, so idk how into pda i.n would be tbh, i think it depends on his mood but holding hands is definitely what he is most comfortable with. will hold your hand at totally random times when he needs some physical contact, like you could just be drinking some water and he will come over and take your other hand and hold it but say nothing about it. you just let him do it, finding the whole thing really sweet tbh.
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soleilsuhh · 2 months ago
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stray kids headcanons ◞♡ ° how they would hug their s/o
request — i'm so in love with your writing faye jssjjs your works literally hits right in my feels like thank u for existing gosh ,, can i suggest sth for stray kids, like how they would hug their s/o? ilu have a beautiful day faye!
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chan hugs with his whole heart, like he's pouring his love for you through the embrace, wrapping his arms around your neck and pulling you close; the kind of hugs that are just tight enough that they make you feel safe and protected. and sometimes, you're startled by his arms suddenly encircling around you from the side or behind and he chuckles softly against your hair, "sorry baby; just wanted you in my arms,"
minho's hugs are a little aggressive and demanding at first, albeit in a playful manner. he corners you and traps you in his arms, laughter erupting from both of you as he holds you tight against him, and you have no choice but to happily relent and melt into his touch. and gradually the atmosphere shifts; before long, it's all soft and blithe as he places a single gentle kiss on your cheek.
changbin's hugs are bursting with happiness and energy; it's the type of hugs you're swallowed in not just his arms but also his presence; the smell of him, the sunny smiles and happy giggles; and just the sheer excitement and joy of the moment makes you feel like you're lifted off your feet.
hyunjin hugs you all the time; when you're cooking in the kitchen, he's lightly holding you from behind; when you're waiting in line, he hugs you from the side because 'standing is awkward'; and when you're chilling together on the couch on lazy days, he pulls you on top of him and holds you close, nuzzling into your neck as he lets out a sigh of satisfaction. there's something about his hugs that's so languid yet tender.
jisung hugs you so frequently that it almost feels like he's an extension of yourself; the kind of hugs where he playfully pokes your side and tickles you just to annoy you but immediately pulls you back against him when you pull away, gleeful grins gracing on your faces; his hugs are fun and affectionate, it's all teasing smiles against skin, cheeks squishing against each other's, and gently messing hair up.
felix's hugs are the epitome of sweetness; sometimes, his arms are gentle, giving you space to breathe, and sometimes, they're tight and strong, letting your whole being know that he's here with you. and he does this little thing where he closes his eyes and smiles as he hugs you just a bit closer before mumbling sweet-nothings in your ears or asking you about your day.
seungmin quietly sneaks up behind you and puts his chin on your shoulder, one arm loosely wrapped around you. and sometimes he doesn’t say a word, casually watching whatever you’re doing on your device; but most times, he starts small conversation like what you’re having for dinner. and often he turns you around mid-conversation so that he can give you a proper hug and a few forehead pecks, smiling at the way your lips quirk upwards.
jeongin listens to your heartbeat as he lays his head on your chest. his hugs feel like home; they're comfortable and warm and are often accompanied by hand-holdings, deep talks, and silly conversations. your voices are hushed and soft then he says something funny and your eyes meet in between laughter and it's like time has frozen and it's just you and him, perfectly blissed and in love.
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jisungsmysugadaddy · a month ago
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Chubby Cheeks
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Material: boyfriend!Hyunjin, gender-neutral!reader, fluff( comforting words, words of encouragement kind of, cuddling, spooning, soft kissing, partner reunion)
Word Count: 0.9k
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Hyunjin just got off from his schedule to start his holiday. Once he packed up some of his stuff and left the dorm, he headed straight to your apartment to spend the weekend with you.
You were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend since promotions have finally calmed down. You already planned out a fun-filled weekend with amusement parks, new movies to watch, and overall, good quality time together
Hyunjin finally arrived at your apartment building and made his way to you up the elevator.
You get a knock on your door and immediately hop up from your couch to greet your boyfriend at the door. It swings open, you squeal, "Hyunjin!". You wrap your arms around him before he could even get inside. He giggles while returning the hug, "Hi, baby". You let go of Hyunjin and let him into the apartment.
This wasn't his first time in your apartment so he knew where everything was, especially your bedroom. He dropped his stuff in the corner of your room, turned around, and lifted you up in his arms. He starts kissing you telling you how much he's missed you since the last time he was able to spend so much time with you, which wasn't that long ago. You kiss him back saying "I've missed you too."
You two get into the bed and cuddle for a little bit while talking to each other about the new release of the group's new album.
"So you guys have had a very successful comeback, I see. You guys won six awards in like what, a two-week span?"
He chuckled and jokingly said, "Yep. All thanks to STAY and their quick fingers."
"Oh my god, if you guys don't win a MAMA award this year, I'm gonna be mad."
"You know what, I'm actually confident that we'll win an award this year. If not, then we might perform, or both, who knows, but the FACT Music awards are happening in a couple weeks and I have to get into my best shape so I can look good for the show."
You reply, “You always do.”
You grab Hyunjin by the face and planted soft kisses on his cheeks. “Your cheeks feel so squishy”, you said. He got up from your arms and asked with a worried expression on his face, “What do you mean?”. You reassure him that you meant what you said in a good way, “They just seem fuller, and I mean that in the best way possible.” Hyunjin got up from the bed and looked into the full-body mirror you had, examining his cheeks and squeezing them gently only to expose the small amount of fat that is there.
Once he saw himself in the mirror, he then sighed, “I think I gained weight.”. You knew how strict the Kpop industry was whenever it came to weight and dieting. Even though there are some companies out there that don’t control their idols' weight and physical appearance, JYP wasn’t on that short list of companies that qualified. And you didn’t want your boyfriend to stress himself out over a little bit of fat that appeared in his cheeks.
“Hyunjin, baby. Come here.”, he lays in your arms and rests his head on your chest while you rub his back to comfort him. “Listen, don’t start worrying about the small changes that happen to you, especially when you didn’t have total control of how it happened. I know with the career you have, things like this would seem like a big deal...but it’s not. And to be honest, the only way I was able to tell that your cheeks have gotten fuller was by me touching them. You're still cute with or without them. And remember STAY? They love you just the way you are, not what the company makes you.”
You feel Hyunjin scrunch the material of your hoodie, then looks up at you with a tear ready to tip over his eyelid. You see his face and embrace him in your arms, “Hyunjin”, you whine with a sad tone in your voice. “Don’t cry”, you say.
He wipes the tear from his eye, lays his head back on your chest, then proceeds to explain why he’s acting like this, “I just don’t want to disappoint anyone. Ever since I came back from my break, I‘ve felt this constant pressure to be better than who I was before, mentally and physically, and-...it’s just a lot”. He continued to sniffle when he finished his sentence.
You understood exactly how he felt. But you had to remind him of something that was quite obvious. “Hyunjin, I understand how your feeling right now. It’s not just me who’s seen how hard you work, your fans, your members, and even your family have seen how hard you work your ass off to make sure you can give them the best version of you, both off and on stage. And they all love you. I love you. We all love how much time and effort you put into what you do, no matter what it is. So I believe, regardless of what you look like you’ll still be Hyunjin“
After listening to your speech, Hyunjin then realizes that him gaining a little weight in his face wouldn’t affect his performance nor how people see him as a person. He raises his head again and says, “Thank you Y/n. Thank you for believing in me. This.. is why I love you.“. He then gets up out of his position to plant a kiss on your forehead.
In a matter of seconds, you find yourself spooning with your boyfriend in bed, slowly drifting off to sleep while still having him in your warm, comforting, arms.
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