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#i . rambled a bit there but anyone who knows me......you been knew. you know this about me jgdfgjfdg
miveras · 18 hours
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Drabble: Silent Treatment | JJK
Pairing: jungkook x reader Genre: established relationship, angst, fluff Word count: 1.6k Warnings: none
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“You’re so fucking lazy,” you scream, “Do you ever just look around and think to clean up after yourself once in a while?”
You pick up his worn, mahogany sweater off the floor and into the bucket you struggle to carry with only one hand. You resist the urge to chuck it at him, ignoring you with a scoff. 
You weren’t this angry to begin with, but you couldn’t help it after seeing his reaction to you. This was the second fight you’d had, and this has been the worst so far. He wasn’t listening to you at all, and you didn’t know what would make him finally cooperate. 
Though you shouldn’t fuel the flame, you keep nagging at him to get up and pointing out every one of his wrongdoings in the past few weeks. 
“Just give me a few days. You know I always clean on weekends since I don’t have time on weekdays,” Jungkook replies with a serious tone. You can see it in his eyes, his anger building up by the second.
“Well if you don’t have time, then why are you on your phone? Why aren’t you doing anything then?” you rambled.
He groans in response, obviously annoyed that you keep going back and forth with harsh blows.
After you guys dated for a year, you thought it’d be a good idea to start discussing the living situations. When he told you that his landlord was raising their prices, it posed the perfect scenario for you to invite him in.
Jungkook moved in just past a month, and sure, he was fine the first two weeks. He cooked for you, cleaned after himself, and tried his best not to make a mess. But recently, you’ve caught him being such a horrible roommate that now, you couldn’t stop the hurtful words coming out of your mouth. 
“Shut up…” he mutters in a quiet voice, avoiding your confrontation. He wished you hadn’t heard it but when he hears your feet dragging against the floor, he knew you did. 
But you didn’t choose to answer him and instead, you gave him the silent treatment. 
He enjoyed the short while that you left and came back with a vacuum. For the rest of the week, you guys cut off contact with each other, living in the same house but not saying anything. You even went as far as to eat at a different time than usual, just to avoid him. You weren’t giving this up easily– you wanted him to care, needed him to. You wished he found this just as important as you did.
Over the past week, all you focused on was your job. At work, all you thought about was him– it got so bad to the point where your work friends started questioning you about your sanity. You were constantly zoning out and the lack of sleep didn’t help at all. 
You asked for help from one of your friends: Ara. While writing a paper about the company’s statistical reports, you had a welcome visitor come in– just who you were looking for.
“Y/N! I haven’t seen you in a bit,” she whines, “I literally missed you so much.” She almost leaps into your arms as soon as she sees you. At least someone was happy to see you. She hugs you so tight you had to push her away for a bit, trying not to pass out from the lack of air.
“Ara, I missed you…” you pout. She notices the sadness behind your eyes, knowing that you’re not usually this affectionate unless you need it. Ara immediately knew something was wrong from the way you were reacting to her presence– though she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
You fess up to her about everything, including the words you and Jungkook exchanged. It was pretty harsh, to say the least. Ara understood you, more than anyone else could (except Jungkook of course). 
Her advice to you was to communicate, but it was way harder than it sounded. You couldn’t do it, not now at least.
You tried your best to avoid him by doing literally anything else: going out to work, cleaning, anything. It was pathetic to anyone who wasn't either of you– everyone knew how much both of you guys loved each other, and everyone knows you guys belong to each other. 
You were too stubborn to admit defeat so you waited for Jungkook– who was probably the only person just as stubborn as you, to apologize first. Predictably, it’s been an ongoing problem for more than just a few days.
Whenever it was time to sleep, your heart raced faster than normal beside him. You had already promised yourself not to lean over and kiss him, admire him, or do anything with him as a form of his punishment. But now, it started to feel like your’s. 
Did he even care about you? Did he even miss you?
You hated the way your body couldn’t relax, feeling every nerve pulse throughout your body. You swallow, wondering how long it’ll take you to fall asleep considering your inability to when you’re not embracing something. 
You shifted slightly, missing the way he looked over to you with a worried expression but not having enough courage to do something about it. 
He sighs, turning the other way as well. He decided not to do anything– he was way too exhausted and stubborn to even face you. He wouldn’t know what to say.
---
The next morning, you wake up with the house all tidy– clothes in their right place, no food in sight, all the dishes clean, but you can’t seem to find the one who did it. He must’ve gone to school already.
The following days were all the same. He goes to school, then you, then avoids each other all day, then comes home just to sleep facing opposite each other. I was tired, no doubt. 
He’s stubborn and you’re stubborn. You’d think you were a perfect match until something like this comes along. It’s funny, you think. 
At some point, all you wanted to do was be in his embrace. To feel his warmth all over you. Oh, how you wanted to just kiss him all over and play with his hair until he falls asleep.
As you think about how much you miss him, you wonder how much or if he even missed you at all. You look beside you– suddenly feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness. You almost forgot how much you missed him. 
Unintentionally, your shoulders shake as you try your best to keep in your weeps quiet and breaths steady. Streaks of tears drop to your cheeks, entangling with your hair. You struggle to stop your sobs from coming out, covering your mouth and wiping your eyes to make sure Jungkook doesn’t wake up because of you.
It was truly your last straw. You couldn’t handle being away from him anymore. 
“Y/N…” he whispers, concern written all over his face. You freeze, not being able to comprehend anything at that moment. 
Still feeling groggy and dazed from his sleep, he rubs his eyes to see you clearer. Once his eyes set on you, a small rush of panic goes through his veins, worriedness taking over his body. He parts his lips in shock and slowly wraps his arms around you– not quite sure what to do. 
You feel his arms snake to your waist, kissing your head and muttering soft phrases to calm you down. You wallow in his embrace, slightly embarrassed about your outburst that had him waking up late at night. In a way, you felt ashamed of yourself and your feelings, suddenly feeling more insecure about yourself as Jungkook continues to hold you in silence. 
He felt wrong reaching for you when it was obvious he was who you were upset about. He had a clue on what was happening to you– what you were worried about, but he decided to stay quiet and bring it up later when you don’t look as hurt. 
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I love you so much..,” his voice trails off as he starts peppering kisses all over your face. You can tell that he felt extremely guilty just by his voice, and his expression sends confirmation of that. 
At this point, you had already stopped crying out of embarrassment, shame, and even comfort from Jungkook.
“I-I’m sorry too,” you sniffle, “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” 
“I didn’t get the chance to apologize sooner. I..I was just scared that you’d stay mad at me– then I wouldn’t know what to do” he explains nervously. Rubbing your arm comfortingly, he asks you to stay with him. “I’ll listen to you from now on.”
“Jungkook, I love you too. I hate fighting with you,” you confess. He only smiles in response, though you can’t see his face when yours is buried in his chest. You hug him back in return– both of you exchanging loving glances at each other. 
Jungkook kisses you in the temple one last time before closing his eyes and relaxing his body.
In a few minutes, you both fall asleep in each other’s comfort. You missed him so much even though you’ve barely been apart and he feels the same exact way. That definitely wasn’t the last argument you’d have, but it’d be the last one where he’d make you cry. 
Ara was right– all it took was a bit of communication.
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raeofgayshine · 2 years
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Bruce Wayne, drunk and full on Brucie mood in the middle of a gala: You know, that accent doesn’t really fit in around here. It’s cute. Where are you from?
Clark, internally debating every life choice that led him to this moment: I’m from Smallville. Kansas.
Bruce, leaning closer to Clark with a flirty smile: Oh you’re cute and funny. You know, I like that in a man.
Clark, very confused but trying to just go along with it: Thank you??
Bruce: I mean, everyone knows that Kansas isn’t real but I do always enjoy a good laugh.
Clark: What.
Bruce: What? Everyone knows that Kansas was made up for Wizard of Oz.
Clark, unsure if Bruce is fucking with him or if he’s just really deep into this dumb act: Bruce, Kansas is a real place. It’s one of the 50 states that make up America.
Bruce, tilting his head a little confused: There’s 50 states? Since when?
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griffonsgrove · 3 months
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omg hello!! I saw you post those vox headcanons and wow I was literally kicking my feet and giggling LOL. I also saw you take requests right now! (at least that’s what it said in your rules) and I wanted to request something : D
could I request general alastor headcanons with a GN! Reader please ? :D
Thank you!
General Dating Headcanons | Alastor
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a/n: Of course my dear!! I love how Alastor is portrayed in the series, he’s easily one of my favorite characters! I’ve been wanting to do these for quite a bit, so thank you for the request!
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Wordcount: 1991
Cw: Hazbin Spoilers, minor violence, mentions of death, murder
(PLATONIC):
Ah so you managed to capture the attention of the infamous Radio Demon? You should be honored he even considers you worth his time! Not most demons have that luxury, they never live long enough to see.
Al strikes me as the kind of guy who knows everyone, he’s very observant and has eyes everywhere (his shadow friends extend throughout the entirety of the pride ring). He’s got connections in just about anything. He’s bound to have at least seen you once.
That being said, he views other sinners as inferior to him, if you don't have any power, he doesn't really see you as much of a threat (let’s be honest even if you did, he still wouldn't feel threatened)
He’s quite intrigued when he sees a frail little thing like you walk through the hotel doors. You're here on your own free will, seeking redemption? Oh, this will be quite entertaining.
You’re well aware of who he is, having been in hell for quite some time, even before his 7 yearlong disappearance, you knew to be wary in his presence.
It often left you being timid or skittish around him at first.
The deer demon had a knack for popping up at the most inconvenient of times, out of nowhere it seems (perks of being able to shadow travel). He would scare the daylights out of you nearly every time. Whether it was intentional or not, it always got a good laugh out of him.
And that smile…He was always smiling, you can't ever recall a moment where he wasn't, not even a falter. It's definitely an intimidation tactic you think. After all, you're never fully dressed without one!~
Despite this, he’s a charmer. He has this flare about him that oozes confidence whenever he speaks with you, to anyone really. He’s able to talk his way into and out of anything. One of the many perks of being a showman. Alastor is witty, charming and entertaining to say the least. Life is never dull with him around.
And if you happen to be from the same time period?? It’ll only want him to be around you even more! Finally, someone he can relate to in this cesspool.
This man is quite the chatterbox. He looooves to reminisce about the good ol’ days, always talking about how things were in his radio days. He could talk for literal hours and not break a sweat. You’ll often have to politely interject when he rambles on for too long, not that he minds.
Did I mention he can cook too?? Really well, surprisingly. He claims he learned from his dearest mother. He had to put a name to her famous Jambalaya recipe! When you tried it for the first time your socks were nearly blown right off from how much cayenne pepper he put into it. He likes a little spice.
He's!! Always!! Humming!! The man loves to sing, he often finds himself absentmindedly humming old tunes from the 20’s as he goes about his day. Whether he’s out for a stroll, enjoying a nice cup of tea, or running around the hotel, he’s humming.
This has been stated before, but Alastor is not big on physical touch from others unless he's the one initiating it. There have been many times where he’s pulled you into a little dance or twirl while he explains something. It never fails to surprise you each time.
He’ll often use his microphone staff to push or touch something, more specifically someone. He doesn't like to touch sinners that often, God knows where they’ve been. You’ve seen him whack Angel upside the head with it before, the spider tried getting a little too close for comfort. But for you he’ll make an exception.
Very well groomed!! He puts a lot of effort into his appearance, and cares about how he projects himself to the public eye. His hair is always neatly styled to perfection, shoes shined, and is always dressed to the nines. I mean did you see how mad he got when Pentious ripped a part of his coat off?
As the two of you begin to spend some more time together, you find yourself often having little meetups, the both of you would chat, share a cup of tea and just enjoy each other’s company. He liked to sit on the patio, he had a little table, and everything set up for you two.
Alastor makes sure to keep an eye on you regularly. He may have his shadow sneak around and stalk you while you're out. He’ll use the excuse that ‘Hell is a dangerous place!’, He can't have some low-life sinner trying to harm you, that would make him a terrible friend!
Undeniably has a soft spot for you that he’ll never admit aloud, he genuinely enjoys your company and likes having someone around that will humor him and listen to his stories. Grandpa.
Overall, Al is quite a good friend to have, you feel like you can confide in him at any point, he’s surprisingly a wonderful listener. The more time you spend together only strengthens your little friendship. Even to the point where you both will grow to have a mutual respect for each other. He initially scared you at first, given his reputation, but underneath all the ruthless chaos is a true gentleman.
(ROMANTIC):
My man is sooo conflicted at first, He’ll spend hours in his den thinking about his feelings. (We’ve all seen the inside of his room, literally half of it is a swamp). The scenery can only soothe him so much as he contemplates on what to do.
This is probably where you will begin to less and less of him for a time being as he works out his inner turmoil.
But, once he finally comes to terms with these undeniable feelings, he decides to confront you privately, away from any prying eyes. Ahem Angel…
Very old-fashioned, this is where he will properly ask to court you. 
You’ll never know this but he was actually kind of nervous, he was worried you’d reject his offer, but imagine to his surprise when you said yes!! He kind of felt giddy.
Congratulations! You now have a cannibalistic deer overlord as your boyfriend
He’s such a gentleman, I literally cannot say it enough, the man was raised right and he respects you! 
You literally never have to open a door with him around. He holds your chair out for you, always walks on the outer side of the sidewalk, pays for every meal and is constantly giving you compliments left and right. And they say chivalry is dead.
Alastor loves to gift flowers to you. Every few weeks or so he’ll give you a new bouquet. They're different each time, some have a meaning while others he simply thought you’d enjoy. You have a special place in your room where you keep them.
Now that you’re in a relationship, the two of you are basically joined at the hip. Wherever you are, Alastor is not far behind. He doesn't want to admit it but the overlord is kind of clingy. He doesn't like being too far from you.
If there’s ever a reason he has to be away from you, he’ll often have a few of his little imp dolls watch after you. You always thought they were cute little fellas anyways.
The both of you aren't exactly private about your relationship, but at the same time you’re not screaming it out from the rooftops either. Alastor is well aware of the dangers you could possibly face due to his status. He’s made a lot of enemies in his time, and doesn't want to see you get hurt on his behalf.
That being said though, no demon in their right mind would try to threaten you.
God forbid they touch you either. They’d be ripped in half before they could even get another word out. 
He's fiercely protective over you. He tries to play it off as nonchalantly as possible, but you know he cares about you immensely, it’s rather sweet really.
Now about physical affection. Things will go very slowly in the beginning, as said before he's fine with things as long as he's the one initiating it. If you two are out for a stroll you’ll have your arm gently looped with his as you walk down the chipped sidewalks. You’ll have to be extremely patient with him, he’s not used to this “love” and “affection”
If you’re ever having a bad day however, he’ll slip out of his comfort zone for you, and allow you to hold onto him for as long as you please, in the privacy of your own room of course.
One of his favorite things to do with you, is to slow dance. There's something so intimate and special about it. It could be late into the evening, when everyone else had gone to their respective rooms for the night, If you listen closely though, you’ll hear the soft hum of music coming from Alastor’s den, he has you in his arms, the both of you gently sway in a slow waltz across the room to the quiet love songs emitting from his radio. It’s here that you truly savor these private moments with him.
Speaking of music, Al loves to sing to you. Oftentimes it may be a ballad or love song, and if you join in with him? He’ll fall for you even more. 
Cooking! He loves to whip up all his favorite dishes just for you, oftentimes you’ll help him in the kitchen, even if it’s the smallest thing. It's become an annual thing you two like to do together. He makes sure that you get only the best meat that this side of hell can provide.
He’ll often call you a mix of different pet names, here's a few of his favorites: Cher, Darling, Beloved, Dearest, Love, Mon Amour, Doll
Which btw on the topic of meat, Al is canonically a cannibal, he’ll often eat demon meat in his meals, and will have you try it at least once.
Admittedly has gotten slightly jealous of his own shadow. The mischievous thing was always trying to steal your attention away from him, oftentimes it would work, you would always give in and humor him, saying that ‘Even his shadow needed some loving too!’. With a strained smile, Alastor shoots a glare at the inky mass of himself, who just looks at him with a smug grin.
Will have you meet Rosie at least once. She’s one of his other closest friends, and a real sweetheart. At first she comes off as really scary and intimidating. but the more you get to know her, and she's for certain that you wont hurt her friend, she’s much more friendlier. 
You two actually bond together somewhat, having little chats about Alastor occasionally, or about her business.
It’s safe to say that this man would kill hundreds if not thousands for you. You have him wrapped around your little finger. If you ever have someone bothering you, they might as well already be dead, because this man will hunt them down like prey. And eat them too.
Honestly, Alastor as a lover is nothing short of wholesome. He’s so attentive and caring when it comes to you. Which is so refreshing to see, especially coming from one of hell’s most feared overlords. Things will most likely start of slow, but if you’re patient with him, all the hard work will be rewarded tenfold. He had initially thought the Princess of Hell’s Hotel was one of the biggest jokes of the century, but what he wasn't expecting was you to be one of the best things to come out of it. You both were cast down to suffer an eternal damnation in hell, but at least now you can endure it together <3.
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thevoidstaredback · 11 days
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How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have
It had been a long few minutes since he'd opened the door and there were a lot of questions running through Dick's head. Most pressing of which was how this kid seems to have information he should not have.
"How did you..?" he asked, but the words wouldn't leave completely. There's so much he wants to know, so much he wants to ask.
"How do I what?" Danny tilted his head like the child he seems to be is.
"How do you know?" Dick knows he sounds weak. There's no hiding that, but there are a lot of implications in what the kid has said so far and none of it is painting a very happy picture for him.
"Oh!" Danny had the audacity to smile, "You want to know how I know you moonlight as a vigilante!" And of course he knows. Dick knows he knows, but he'd held a little bit of hope that the child Danny was mistaken. Danny's smile softened a bit as he explained, "Your hair and voice match up in both jobs almost perfectly. Not to mention your build and how you hold yourself. There's also the matter of your overall vibes, but that's not something living beings can normally pick up on." Excuse him? "Well, not living humans, at least, so no worries on that end!"
"Excuse me?" Dick was fairly sure his heart just stopped beating for a moment there.
"Anyway, I was a hero back home for a while, too. I know what it's like to have to walk the tightrope between maintaining a civilian cover and a hero persona. I know how it feels to have to keep secrets from everyone because anyone who knows will be in danger." he rambled, Though, admittedly, our circumstances are quite different. I was working as a hero all hours of the day as well as going to school. You only have to worry about properly balancing between day and night jobs. Either way, me having more to bounce between just makes me al the more qualified to help you!"
Oh. Oh he did not like that. He didn't like a single thing that just came out of the kid's mouth. Because that's what he is, a kid. "Are you...Are you alright?"
"Not in the slightest," Danny admitted with an even smaller smile. Then, it brightened, not quite to a grin, but to something similar, "But I'm here to make sure you are."
He gets points for being honest, but Dick felt his heart shatter. He knew for a fact that he'd never worked with this kid before. He also knew that the Justice League didn't know about him. If they did, he would've been picked up and dropped with either the Young Justice team or the Titans.
Dick wasn't going to ask why he became a hero because that's not his place. It's more of a 'third mission with the team' kind of questions, anyway. Most of the heroes didn't have many options when they took up the mantle. Asking what Danny can do is a more appropriate question, but he wasn't going to ask that, either.
"Now that that's out of the way," Danny turned a few pages from the table of contents to another one that was topped with 'Why Sleep Scheduling Is Important' in the blue glitter pen that Dick was starting to suspect he favored. "You're not getting enough sleep. Following you around - no one's been able to find me for a while, so don't worry about that - for the last two weeks has given me some really worrisome information on you."
Dick was worrying. He was worrying a lot and even more questions were coming to the forefront of his mind.
"Your dayjob is as an officer on the Bludhaven Police Force, or BPD for short." He was looking over the page he'd turned to very aptly and Dick realized that the kid had notes written on him. "The average hours per week for police across the country is forty hours. Gotham and Bludhaven are the exceptions. As a member of the BPD, you work a solid two days and two hours. Six nights a week, you work as Nightwing from eight in the evening to three in the morning. The last day, you take off, which is good. No deserable pattern, so good on you for that. Regardless, that's seven hour nights and ten hour days, with one day off and one day on call as an officer. Seven hours are now left in your day for personal time, eating, and sleeping. That's not a healthy way to live."
Oh, god, the kid had honest to god notes on him! What the hell!
Danny didn't even skip a beat as he pulled Dick's attention back to him and his binder. "I've drawn up a schedule for you to follow." The back of the page had a meticulously drawn schedule, complete with blocks of time to eat, sleep, work both jobs, travel, personal time, and still have a bit extra left over. It was titled 'Ideal End Result' in green marker. "Drastic changes right away will only affect you negatively, so we're starting off smaller." The next page over had another schedule titled 'Where To Begin'. "I've only pulled one hour from your Nightwing hours because I know important that time is to you and the city. I am, however, going to be having you submit an appeal to your boss to cut back your hours from fifty a week to forty a week. That way, you'll only be working eight hours a day and not ten. You'll still be on call for one day, and you'll have that last day off. Altogether, you'll be going be going from working seventeen hours a day to fourteen hours a day. Nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and eight in the evening to two in the morning. Not including breaks at work or travel time. It opens up a few more hours for you to sleep!"
"You really think the chief is going to pull back my hours?" Dick raised an eyebrow in question.
"He will if he knows what's good for him."
"You know I can arrest you for that threat, right?"
"Yeah, but you won't." And, damn it, he's right.
Although, there was now another thing he had to know. "How to you plan on enforcing this schedule of yours?"
Danny seemed to have been waiting for this. He got a gleam in his eye as he pulled a black folder from his bag, not breaking eye contact with Dick. He placed it on the table and pushed it across. "Congratulations, it's a boy."
Part 1 Part 3
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crimsntwlip · 2 months
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it’s you | theodore nott.
pairing: theodore nott x reader
warnings: friends to lovers, reader avoiding theodore, reader status not mentioned, fluff fluff fluff !! kissing, google translated italian
summary: based on this request!
a/n: thank you so much for requesting!! i hope you enjoy this & happy valentines day lovelies!!!
| posted: 2/13/24 | masterlist |
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y/n and theodore had always been two peas in a pod, ever since they first met on the hogwarts express during their first year. even when they were separated by the sorting hat, theodore being sorted into slytherin while y/n had been sorted into ravenclaw, they both knew they would stick together over the years.
y/n was currently sitting in divination class, your mind distracted as professor trelawney rambled on about interpreting signs and symbols from tea leaves.
it was a week prior to valentine’s day and you still haven’t been asked to be anyone’s valentines. you tried to not let it get into your head, but with everyone else around you getting mingled up, you couldn’t help but yearn to get asked. although there was a rumor going around that theodore had already asked another girl, you hoped it was untrue.
theodore, who was seated next to you, noticed your distracted figure and gently nudged you out of your thoughts. you wiped away your thoughts as you turned to face theodore, who appeared concerned.
you turned away, facing back to the professor as you were ready to brush it off when he leaned closer to your level. he whispered,
“are you okay, bella?”
y/n couldnt help but blush suddenly from how close he had gotten. you cleared your throat, trying to push the blush away, theodore's concern softened into a gentle smile.
“i’m fine, theo,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to draw attention to yourselves in the quiet classroom. theodore's eyes searched yours, seeing the slight unease lingering behind them. he knew you well enough to sense when something was bothering you, even if you tried to hide it.
theodore nodded slightly, respecting your boundaries yet still keeping a watchful eye on you in hopes he would get something out of you at the end of class.
once class came to an end, you quickly pack your things away. you had plans to meet luna in the library for some studying. theodore stood by, watching you pack before he spoke.
“y/n, you know you can talk to me ri-”
“yeah thanks theo, sorry i have to go meet luna.” you quickly shut him down, hurriedly walking out. leaving theodore with a disappointing expression behind as he watch you go.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
when you arrived at the library, luna was already waiting for you at your usual table, perusing through a dusty old book with her signature dreamy expression. as she looked up and noticed your arrival, a smile lit up her face. once you settled in and began to study, luna noticed the distant look on your face and raised an eyebrow in question.
“y/n! what's on your mind? you seem a bit distracted today,” luna asked softly, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.
you sighed, feeling the weight of your thoughts pressing down on you. “i just can't shake off this feeling of unease, luna. It's silly, really.” you paused. luna's expression turned sympathetic as she listened intently, offering you a comforting smile.
you continued, “its just.. valentine's day approaching and... well, nothing special planned,” you admitted, feeling a bit vulnerable opening up about your feelings.
as you were talking about your feelings about the upcoming holiday, theodore was making his way towards the library, in hopes he would run into you. as he entered the library he passed through the tall shelves, pausing as he heard your voice.
“and it’s not like i don’t want to get asked- don’t get me wrong but i was just hoping theodore would’ve asked me?”
theodore's heart skipped a beat as he heard his name mentioned by you. he had been hesitant to ask you to be his valentine, unsure if you felt the same way about him. but now, hearing your words filled him with a surge of hope and courage. he quickly grabbed a random book off the shelf, leaning to get a closer listen but still trying to stay hidden.
“i dont know luna-“ you groaned before continuing. “i mean bloody hell its been 6 whole years of this unrequited love! now i feel a bit silly.. and there are rumors going around about how theodore has already asked another girl. maybe i should give up..”
“you shouldn’t feel silly for loving someone,” luna spoke softly, comforting her friend. “plus rumors are just rumors y/n, they might not even be true.” luna offered you a gentle smile before silence hit the air again. not awkward silence but instead comforting silence, you were grateful you had a friend like luna.
theodore's heart skipped a beat once again. how could he have been so blind? as silence filled the air once more, he had forgotten he was even hiding until a second-year student bumped into him, causing him to drop the book he was holding and revealing his hidden spot.
as the sudden sound caught your attention, your head snapped up and you found yourself locking eyes with theo, who appeared startled like a deer caught in headlights
“hello..” theodore breathed out, feeling embarrassed that he was caught. you stood up quickly, “theo! how long have you been there?!”
theodore stood there, sheepish and unsure of how to respond. he sheepishly scratched the back of his head, trying to come up with an excuse. “uh, not long, i just arrived...” he trailed off, unable to meet your gaze.
you felt embarrassed. you knew theodore had heard everything. you gulped, hastily gathered your belongings, apologizing to luna, and made your excuses before rushing out of the library. leaving theodore behind once again, watching you go.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
it has been days since the events occurred, and you still cannot bring yourself to face theodore. despite his efforts to talk about what happened, you have been avoiding him, afraid that you may have hurt your relationship.
theodore noticed your attempt at avoiding him. whenever you would see him come around the corner, you would always turn the other direction. if he approached you, you would suddenly remember something urgent you needed to take care of.
theodore couldn't bear the distance that had now grown between the two of you. he missed your company, your laughter, and the comforting bond that you both once had. it pained him to see you avoiding him.
on the day prior to valentines day, you were walking through the hogwarts corridors, trying your best to avoid theodore yet again. he finally caught up to you, his voice was gentle and laced with concern as he called out to you, “y/n, please... can we talk?”
you stopped in your tracks, reluctant but unable to ignore the pleading tone in his voice. you turned to face him, and in that moment, you saw the vulnerability in his eyes, the hurt that mirrored your own. taking a deep breath, you finally nodded, signaling your willingness to listen.
theodore took a step closer, his gaze searching yours for any sign of forgiveness or understanding. “i... i heard what you said in the library,” he began, his voice soft yet filled with emotion.
you interrupted him abruptly, assuming he would turn you down. “yes theo, i love you okay!” you said frustratedly, a faint blush crept up on theodores cheeks as you confessed. but before he could respond, you quickly added, "but I understand if it's not something you're interested in. i value our friendship too much to risk i-” cutting you off, he reached out, gently cupping your cheeks as he brought you into a kiss.
as you felt his warm lips pressing against yours, a rush of emotions flooded through you. the shock faded away as you kissed him back, melting into it.
when you finally pulled back, your eyes met theodore's, and you saw relief in his gaze.
“y/n,” theodore whispered, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth. he reached out to gently cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin affectionately. “you've always been something more to me,” he admitted, his voice filled with sincerity. “and i want you to know that those rumors about me asking someone else were completely false. it was always you, y/n. it has always been you.”
as theodore's words sank in, you could feel your heart racing with a mixture of excitement and disbelief. you had never anticipated that he felt this way about you, and now that he had laid his feelings bare, you couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness.
he continued, “and i've been wanting to ask you out for a while now, but i was afraid of ruining what we have. but if you're willing to take a chance on me, i’d love nothing more than for you to be mine.”
tears glistened in your eyes as you reached up to hold his hand against your cheek, savoring the warmth of his touch. “theodore,” you whispered, your voice filled with raw emotion, “i never thought you saw me the same way.”
a smile tugged at theodore's lips as he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin. “i've been blind not to see it sooner,” he confessed, his gaze intense and unwavering. “i don't want to waste any more time pretending that we're just friends when we could be so much more.”
with a surge of courage, you closed the space between you, pressing your lips to his in a tender kiss once again.
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satuguro · 1 year
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⠀⠀ ⠀ཾ ༚ 20/20 VISION
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lalala! ethan landry x okokok! reader
#SYNOPSIS— based off of see you again by tyler the creater & kali uchis; you have no gag reflex, ethan tells a sex joke, and ethan takes a leap of faith.
#CONTAINS— best friends to lovers, mutual pining, jealousy, emetophobia, fluff
#AUTHORSNOTE— i've been wanting to write fluff lately so.. here you go xx
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your unofficial designated spot in the carpenter sisters' apartment was their armchair in their living room.
you had a list of reasons why; one, it meant more space. you could stretch your legs, not worry about feeling someone's feet near your legs, and you could have your own blanket. all somewhat selfish reasons, but you loved your space. two, it had the perfect angle towards the t.v. that gave you the best spot in the living room to watch it without worrying about discomfort.
which was why you would've been mildly perturbed that someone was standing between you and the t.v. the only difference was that it wasn't just someone; it was someone who rambled too often, who had no sense of personal space while also being hyper aware of it, and who was a flurry of random facts (which wouldn't help him at all, unless someone held a gun to his head and told him to name and point at every country’s capital in the world).
"i've done it," ethan announced to you, his signature toothy smile seemingly more victorious as he looked down at where you were snuggled up on the couch. his well manicured nails (he asked you to do them once, and who were you to deny your best friend?) held his laptop, the screen facing his chest.
"aren't you supposed to be studying?" you asked him with a small tilt of your head, glancing at where the rest of the group was. finals week was beating everyone up, and you could briefly see mindy and chad chugging a redbull at the same time while tara timed them, before you turned back to your best friend.
"i gave up."
"you need to study."
"you gave up, too!" ethan looked down at the huge blanket that you hogged for yourself, not even thinking twice before he was climbing in next to you.
"ow— ethan!" you groaned, feeling him step on your leg.
"'scuse me!" ethan forced himself under the blanket you were snuggled under, making you share your beloved armchair with him before he sighed contentedly. "this is comfortable! maybe i should share this seat with you more often!" he said with a bright grin, making you sigh reluctantly. "i mean if you don't want to then it's fine too!" ethan added hurriedly with wide eyes.
"i was just saying that i wouldn't mind sharing with you because usually you sit alone— which i know you prefer, you've told me so many times and i get it! i really do! but i wouldn't mind sitting with you to keep you company because i really like being with you— around you. your presence. yeah, that." ethan rambled, finishing his string of words with a sheepish smile, cheeks flaring a bit red. "i'm sorry for rambling." he added quietly.
your usually tired eyes softened at that. he had always been insecure of how much he talked, you knew that better than anyone. "i've told you before, e, i don't mind. i like listening to you," you hummed, a downturned smile on your lips. "i like your presence too. and i guess i don't mind sharing my seat with you."
ethan's cheeks flared red at your casual words. you had a way of speaking so calmly, as though all your words were chosen well. in a way, he was a bit jealous.
"you had something to tell me, yeah?" you asked him softly, bringing him back on track.
"oh, right!" ethan showed you his laptop, setting it up on your legs. it was a notion list, color coordinated and everything, with an entire list of shows and movies you remember only briefly mentioning to him. "i made this list—"
"just now? instead of studying?"
"yes! so basically, it has a section where we can rate it after we watch it, and it's all organized by what we want to watch the most and what we need to finish!" ethan scrolled down the list, practically buzzing with excitement (and the cold brew he drank earlier).
"see? i know that i have a whole essay to do but i can do it later—" ethan said, waving it off with his hand. "because i know you said you would do it but i got impatient and did it instead! and look—" he showed you the wide variety of colors for every row. "they're color coordinated! and here's how i think the rating system should go—"
you had watched ethan talk the entire time he rambled, your usually tired and indifferent eyes softening when you listened to him speak. he talked fast— too fast for some people, but you liked that about him—but the way he rambled showed how passionate he was about different topics, because ethan only rambled when he cared.
it showed how much he appreciated what he was talking about. and ever time his cadence picked up and his words became jumbled and he began interrupting himself, you could see how ethan's brown eyes would shine with excitement. you could see how he began incorporating his hands to his words, how his lips tilted up when he talked.
you were so engrossed in ethan's explanation of the movie and t.v. show list that you failed to notice your friends staring at you from the dining table.
"they are disgustingly cute," tara said with a sigh.
"and disgustingly oblivious," mindy grumbled, clicking her pen over and over. "with how smart the both of them are, i'm surprised they haven't picked up on the clues." she turned to chad, who was sulking after losing the redbull chugging competition against her. "have you asked ethan about it yet? you're our in on this, chad!"
chad groaned as mindy nudged him with her shoulder. "i did. he didn't even respond. it's crazy how he can avoid conversations, you know."
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you didn't like parties. not as much as your friends did— you were usually the designated driver or the friend that was always sober enough to take care of their friends, which you didn't mind. it was the socializing part that you minded.
you socialized okay, but you often just ended up listening to other people rather than talking. listening was more your style, but you were only a little awkward when it came to talking to complete (and possibly intoxicated) strangers at parties. you stuck with your group of friends and very rarely strayed away.
but ethan was the designated sober friend this time around, so maybe that would change.
three loud knocks to your dorm room made you go and open it, coming eye to eye with ethan. "you're walking me there?" you asked with a knowing smile, making the boy nod eagerly.
"yup! chad's walking with tara and mindy's going with anika, so that leaves you and me." ethan grinned at you teasingly. "why, you're getting tired of me already?"
"no," you hummed, closing your dorm room behind you as the both of you began to walk down the hall. "you're really not drinking tonight, huh?"
"nope!" ethan replied, popping the 'p'. "after i threw up all over sam that one time we drank at the apartment, and then i threw up on you right after, i told myself that i'd hold back on it."
you wrinkled your nose at the memory. "how responsible of you."
"i know, right?" ethan said with a proud smile. "but because i threw up on you that time, i give you full permission to throw up on me this time."
"i'm not gonna be that drunk."
that was a lie.
to say that your friends were shocked to see you become a more extraverted person after drinking would be an understatement. they were used to you observing the group and contributing to conversations with sarcastic comments, dry humor, and dark jokes that are often made much too soon. so to see you take a shot with tara and squeal happily with her (true friend solidarity; she was as drunk as you were) was completely out of the ordinary.
"i'm gonna go find chad!" tara yelled over the music, making you nod happily and watch her leave. adrenaline and excitement began to thrum through your body stronger, and your first thought was to share it with your favorite person. you began to walk around, searching for ethan, before you bumped into a chest.
"oh, shit! i'm so sorry," the guy laughed, making you send him an apologetic smile.
"it's okay!" you said, taking in his black hair and his brown eyes (that only reminded you of ethan). "i'm y/n!"
the guy smiled at you, offering his hand out. "jaden!" he seemed to be as intoxicated as you were, his steps wobbling slightly as you shook his hand. "do you, uh, wanna dance?"
"hey, where's y/n?" ethan asked tara as she passed him, making her look back towards the drinks table.
"she should just be around where the drinks are.." tara's voice trailed off when her eyes landed on you not too far away. your arms were around a guy's neck— was that jaden from her philosophy lecture? —as you swayed with him to the music. you seemed to be having a good time, the alcohol making you lighthearted as you sang with whatever song was playing through the speakers. "there she is!"
when ethan saw you, his heart fell. you looked so beautiful under the multicolored lights, your hair perfectly styled and your clothes fitting you perfectly as you danced with someone who wasn't him. your smile— your genuine one, ethan noted with his chest aching, the one that made your eyes crinkle and your smile lopsided —was pointed towards someone who wasn't him.
jealousy brewed in his chest along with the heartache, ethan's jaw clenching as he stared at you and the random guy. but he didn't step in. he didn't pull you away and declare his feelings for you, because at the end of the night, you were happy. content as you danced with someone who wasn't ethan at all.
chad came up next to tara, his arm over her shoulders as he steadied her. "hey man, where's y/n?" he asked, still fairly sober than everyone as he had only taken one shot.
"she's doing fine," ethan said, his voice monotone as he continued staring at you. it was unfair how beautiful you looked while you unknowingly broke his heart with every laugh and every flirtatious smile you sent towards your dance partner.
"what?" chad looked in the direction ethan was staring, his face falling when he saw you and jaden. easily connecting the dots, he looked at ethan empathetically. "fuck. dude, i'm sorry."
"it's okay, really," ethan said with a tight lipped smile. but he couldn't keep his eyes off of you and him, the fact that you looked so happy pulling at his chest because he wanted you to be happy with him. he wanted you to look at him the way you looked at that random stranger.
and finally, as you did a twirl into jaden’s arms, you made eye contact with ethan. oblivious to the way his jaw clenched and his eyes lost the spark they usually had, you gently pulled yourself out of jaden's arms. your steps were wobbly, and you nearly crashed into ethan's chest when you finally walked up to him. ethan's arms went to steady you easily.
"ethan, i feel like throwing up," you murmured, and ethan nodded in understanding, worry taking over his jealousy.
"okay, let's get you to the bathroom, okay?" ethan said softly, pulling you close to him as he guided you to the bathroom. he knocked on the door, thankful no one responded, before he opened it for you. he locked the door behind the both of you as you made a beeline for the toilet, grabbing the side of it as you readied yourself to throw up.
but nothing came out.
“go on!” ethan encouraged you, motioning to the toilet. but instead, you looked up at him warily.
“do i have to?”
“yes?” ethan gaped at you, motioning to the toilet again. “just go ahead! nothing to fear!”
“i don’t want to.”
“c’mon, y/n, why not?” ethan whined, making you groan as you stopped yourself from throwing up yet again.
“i have emetophobia, asshole,” you muttered, gently pushing his arm. “fear of throwing up? and,” you messily pushed some of your hair away from your face. “i have no gag reflex.”
“what the hell?” ethan crinkled his nose, blushing furiously as he looked at you in shock. you were honest, sure but never this honest. “i could’ve gone my whole life without knowing that.”
“are you sure?”
“what?” ethan said quickly, eyes wider than ever as he stared at you as you snorted in amusement. “you’re kidding.”
“maybe.”
“maybe?” he swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes and pinching his nose bridge. “oh god, you definitely have to throw up now.”
“watch this.” you took two of your fingers and stuffed them all the way to the back of your throat, smiling triumphantly as you showed ethan your lack of a gag reflex.
ethan could only watch in horror and exasperation. “y/n, i didn’t need proof. i already believed you.” he took some squares of toilet paper before offering it to you.
“i told you so,” you hummed, pulling your saliva covered finger out of your mouth and wiping them on the toilet paper. there was a beat of silence before ethan coughed, his cheeks and ears still burning red.
“can i make a joke?”
“of course you can.”
“it’s a, uh,” ethan cleared his throat, avoiding your intent gaze, “sex joke.”
“even better.” you situated yourself next to the toilet, still very much feeling like you were gonna hurl at any given moment.
ethan sat next to you, clearing his throat again. ��i know one way we can test your gag reflex,” he stated, almost ashamed at his own joke.
you chuckled at that, the horrible joke making a you sway a bit with laughter before the sudden motion sickness got to you. without another word, you threw up into the toilet. all thanks to ethan’s horrible sex joke.
he immediately reached over to move some of your hair. you continued retching into the toilet, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. "i hate drinking," you grumbled as you laid your forehead on your arm, eyes watery from throwing up. immediately as you got the words out, you threw up again.
"i know, i know.. but i know you're gonna end up drinking again," ethan teased softly, making your back heave as you managed a laugh, only for it to be interrupted by you throwing up again. "it's okay, let it all out." he couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. “i can’t believe a sex joke made you throw up.”
and you almost laughed again if you didn’t throw up even more.
the sound of the party died into the background as ethan sat next to you on the ground. your head was laying on your arm, which was on the toilet seat. you were still intoxicated, and the world was still spinning, but you could see the obvious turmoil on ethan's face. you poked his arm. "what's wrong?"
"what?" ethan said, snapping out of his daze to send you a tight lipped smile. "nothing's wrong."
"liar."
"i'm not!"
"i know you better than that, e," you murmured, half lidded eyes staring at him. you had thrown up most of your alcohol, and while you were still inebriated, you felt a lot more clear headed than earlier. “what's wrong?"
ethan looked at you, eyes flashing with hurt as he pictured you again dancing with someone else. "do you really want to know?" he asked you, and you nodded. even while drunk, you opted to listen.
"you looked beautiful when you were dancing," ethan began, managing a soft smile, "i don't think i've ever seen you like that. it's not a bad thing or a good thing, but it's a new thing, y'know?" he sighed. "you dance really well, i'm surprised you haven't told me," a genuine smile appeared on his face when he heard you laugh quietly. "and your laugh.. i swear i would listen to it over whatever horrible music is playing right now."
ethan looked at you, taking in your obviously roughed up and intoxicated form. but somehow, even with slightly messy hair and most of your make-up rubbed off and with your breath smelling only a little bit like puke, you still looked beautiful. it was enough to make someone who talked as much as him to go quiet in awe.
"but when you laughed, and when you smiled,” ethan said slowly, taking in heavy breaths with every word. fear thrummed through his body, mingling with the nervousness as he twiddled with his fingers anxiously. to continue on would be to admit everything. to admit how he felt, the thoughts he had been having about you, everything. and to admit it to you would be to risk losing a friendship and one of the most important people in his life.
“.. you weren’t smiling or laughing at me. and i hated that.”
confusion spread over your face before realization hit your eyes. “oh.” and oh, it suddenly all made sense. why ethan was so bothered, why you were so willing to listen to one person speak for forever as long as it was them, why even as you danced with another, something was off because he wasn’t ethan. he wasn’t your best friend.
“you don’t have to say anything,” ethan mumbled, completely misinterpreting your realization for rejection. his eyes watered slightly as he avoided your gaze. “it’s been going on for a while now, and i get it if you don’t feel the same! i really do, it’s just,” he sighed shakily, “i don’t want to lose you—”
“ethan—”
“i was completely willing to just shut up about how i felt as long as that meant i could still have you in my life, y/n,” ethan said, looking into your eyes earnestly. “and i thought i could keep it under wraps but i have to tell you at least once because—”
“i love you.”
“what?” ethan blinked, making you smile, your head still resting on your arm.
“i love you, ethan.”
a toothy smile spread over his face at that, his shoulders relaxing as he searched your face for any doubt. “are you— are you sure?”
“i wouldn’t say it if i wasn’t,” you murmured softly as you raised your head, making ethan laugh in relief.
“holy shit— i love you too.” ethan said, leaning forward, only for you to stop him.
“e, i might throw up on you if you kiss me.”
“do you think i care?”
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fangsandfeels · 7 months
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I've seen the "Non-ascended Astarion ending is bad for him because you have to persuade him to reject the ritual" opinion...
..implying that he never really wanted not to ascend, it's you the player who selfishly forces him to give up on his goal. To prove their point, they state that you can get a good ending out of all other companion's quests without using Persuasion at all, except for Astarion.
And boy did I want to talk about this...
(In fact, everything I wanted to say has already been told in this amazing meta post, but I still gotta ramble)
First of all, Astarion was going through an intense PTSD. The game gave him a debuff to show how badly going back to the place of his torment was affecting him. Larian couldn't make it more obvious that he wasn't thinking clearly.
Second, there is one thing all abusers have in common: they destroy their victim's feelings of self-worth to the point, the victim no longer wants or knows how to ask for help or have relationships outside their abusive circle.
Who would want you like this? Look at yourself, you think you're better than me? You're nothing. Who would want to waste their time on you? You think somebody else would treat you better?
Since entering the Cazador's palace, Astarion is reliving his worst moments. Initially, he takes it in stride, hiding his discomfort underneath performative and emotional expressiveness. He talks about how he spent time in the bedrooms where he never did any sleeping, about the kennels where he was tortured, about the barracks where he was sent to when he "deserved neither carrot nor stick". Bad memories, but he shares them with Tav because he trusts them with his scars already. They might as well know the rest.
But after descending into the dungeon, Astarion starts spiraling into self-loathing at a break-neck speed. He used to think that all Cazador victims he ever brought to him were long gone, drained, and discarded. A horrible, undeserved death, yet the thought of them not having to suffer for too long was a small consolation, one of the threads holding his sanity together.
But then it turns out that they weren't dead. They were turned. Locked away deep underground, alone with their new selves, with the hunger and isolation. They did suffer. All these years, they suffered, buried in this tomb - because of him. Cazador may have turned them, but it was Astarion who brought them to him. And they remembered it. They recognized him. The monster who stole them from their home. The monster who ruined their life. Monster. Just like Cazador.
So, as if his PTSD wasn't enough, this revelation was another blow to his grip on himself, his perception of himself. His confident facade was shattering - and in his head, he was starting to think that Tav's idea of him, of who he is, was shattering as well. He tried to warn them before. He said he couldn't be what they saw in him. Whatever person they believed him to be had never existed - and Tav was finally coming to realize that as they walked through the gallery of his sins, looking his victims in the eyes and hearing out what they had to say. Of course, Tav hated him now. They had to. How could they not?
So, at the end, he is scared. Terrified. He bit off more than he could chew by walking into the manor and thinking he had only six fellow spawns to deal with. He saw their lives as a small price to pay because Cazador made sure to erase any solidarity between them. He made them torture each other and compete with each other. He twisted the very meaning of family bonds to his perverted liking, and he knew that by doing so, he would make sure every single one of them would get a whiplash from anyone trying to mention family in a positive connotation. Astarion takes no issue with getting rid of his "brothers" and "sisters" because he is fully aware that had the roles been reversed, they would have sacrificed him without a second thought. And he was certain that Tav would change their mind once they learned more about his brethren.
But the spawns in the dungeon...All the faces he remembered. All the lovers he lured. They did nothing wrong. They never hurt him. They never tortured him. Their only mistake was to trust him.
The revelation horrifies him. His first response is to be shocked, overwhelmed with emotion - and then he has to remind himself that sacrifices must be made. He feigns indifference. He tries to cover his internal conflict with gallows humor. But his flippant mask keeps slipping as he lapses from indifference to anger, to guilt, to begging Tav not to hate him as his greatest crimes glare back at him and claw at him, shouting out threats and seething with hatred.
He can't bear the thought of dealing with all the people whose lives he helped to destroy. He can't do anything for them. Just killing Cazador won't undo what he did to them. He will never be anything but a monster in their eyes. And this is what he deserves to be. He will always be reminded of what he is.
He has no choice but to do the Ritual.
He has no idea what will happen to him after he is done - he isn't a planner. He has never been. But at this point, he doesn't see his soul as something worthy of preserving - and by association, he extends that to other spawns. He knows it all too well because he remembers how it felt. He dissociates, projecting everything he hated about himself onto Cazador's victims, trying to rationalize why he should live and why they must die while he actively avoids the truth.
Completing the ritual is no longer about being free. Or protecting himself and his lover. It's about running away. Even when Astarion has Cazador at his mercy, he still thinks of running away. Getting lost forever. So nobody could ever hurt him.
A part of him even realizes that it means running away from Tav too. But Tav can leave, he naively thinks, not knowing the full consequences of the ritual. Tav will leave to find someone else, someone better, and he will start everything anew, a king of his castle.
So, of course, Tav has to reach out to him through that thick haze of fear, anger, and self-hatred. Persuasion isn't about strongarming someone into doing what you want. It's not subjugation or emotional blackmail. It's reasoning with someone. And that is exactly what Tav does - reasons with Astarion after watching him mentally struggle, after seeing his genuine shock and fear, after understanding that he isn't fully on board with the idea.
It's true, vampire spawns tend to gravitate toward power, especially if nothing is pulling them back. A vampire spawn is a feared and scorned creature - it no longer matters whether they were an unwilling victim, forcefully taken and turned. They are seen not as an individual but as the extension of their master - and the only natural transition for them is to get on the top of the food chain. The only way to make a name and become treated as something more.
Astarion saw power as the mean to safety and freedom, first and foremost. Ironically, he never planned beyond securing these two priorities. He never saw himself after accomplishing his goals, and it's kinda amazing how people can make conclusions about his hedonism because he misses petty vanities, wants to drink blood from a goblet, and sleep on silken sheets. The man who was held and tortured in the kennels, fed rats, and had to stitch and fix his only set of clothes over and over to keep it presentable, the man who has never felt happy for most of his conscious non-life is called hedonistic for wanting nice things. For still wanting to take care of himself for once.
He wasn't harboring any grand plans, conquests, or schemes. Even his idea of taking control of the Absolute was abstract and shapeless because he didn't care about getting control over the most influential people as much as he was afraid of breaking whatever protected him from Cazador's domination. He never really knew what to do with power aside from keeping Cazador and the likes of him at bay.
The way Astarion behaves in a relationship also speaks tons of how controlling he really is...or how he isn't controlling at all. When his romance with Tav transforms into something real, and he enters a new territory, Astarion is empowered to make decisions and think about what he wants instead of pleasuring others. It's clear that he and Tav don't have sex after they come clear about their feelings. Tav respects his comfort and boundaries, gives him all the time he needs, and lets him take the lead. Whether they will have sex again or not is entirely up to Astarion. Whatever he decides, it won't change Tav's feelings for him. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.
Astarion enjoys this new autonomy. He is playful, affectionate, outspoken...and afraid of messing everything up. If Tav mentions breaking up, Astarion thinks he is the problem. If there is another potential love interest showing they have eyes for Tav, Astarion encourages Tav to be with them because he believes they can give Tav everything he can't. When Tav says "I choose you," Astarion is taken aback, needing a moment to hide his genuine confusion at Tav actually wanting to be with him rather than Gale, Karlach, or Halsin.
For all his talks of control and dominating others, once Astarion finds himself with a lover who values his autonomy more than getting power at the cost of his dignity, who makes it safe for him to be honest, and who listens to him, he almost stops mentioning control. He merely lives in the moment, happy not to know, not to pretend, not to manipulate. Just to be.
What Astarion truly craves - not wants on a superficial level, not conditioned to want - is not to be a vampire lord. He wants the freedom to be anything. Anything he wants. Little does he know that true vampires rarely get to be anything they want, even if they gain the ability to walk in the sun -- we see it in his Ascended path as, instead of acting up on his supposed freedom to be anything, Astarion repeats Cazador's rules step by step. Just like Cazador did. Just like Verlioth did. He isn't anything he wants. He is the replica of his former master.
Astarion never had the luxury to explore who he wanted to be outside what Cazador made him. He only makes his first steps once he is free. We see glimpses of that deep-seated aspiration to be seen as a person. Treated like a person. Loved like a person. To be reflected in someone's eyes. He wants to know if there is someone beneath his usual mask, something his, not tainted by Cazador. Someone real. And at the same time, he dreads to know the answer. Because that part of him knows regret. Knows shame. Knows guilt. Confronting it posed the risk of realizing he didn't deserve love, kindness, or a future. What if real him truly doesn't amount to anything? What else for him to do?
So, he tells himself that he has no choice, and he expects Tav to affirm it -- not because he wants them to, but because he believes that Tav has seen enough to make the same conclusion. However, Tav objects, trying to be louder than all the inner demons hissing into his ears. Tav speaks to the Astarion, who asked them what they saw when they looked at him. The Astarion, who thanked them for standing by his side when he said "No" to Araj. The Astarion one who stood frozen in their hug before returning it tentatively. The Astarion who diligently, dedicatedly, caringly kept pulling himself together instead of letting himself unravel completely.
Tav reminds him that this Astarion, right here, right now, is worth fighting for. That he didn't survive all these years of torture, pain, humiliation, and dehumanization to give himself up now. He already has the power to avenge himself, avenge all Cazador's victims. He can end everything right here, right now - and this is the only power to free him. He has the power (and responsibility) of having a choice.
Tav empathizes with other spawns as victims not because they're more "innocent" than Astarion, but because associating with them doesn't brand Astarion as weak or broken. These spawns aren't horrible wretches, and neither is he. They don't deserve this, and neither did he.
The only one who deserves to die today is Cazador - the vampire, the monster, the pathetic piece of shit.
Astarion Ancunin deserves to live.
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lysil7777 · 4 months
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Yan! Dom! Fem! Reader x Sub! Boy
"P-please just.. just leave me alone!" James whimpered, tears welling up in his brown eyes, cheeks and ears flushing
"Aww what's wrong Jamie? Are you gonna cry? Did I hurt your feelings? Do you need your Mommy? You lean in to bite his ear and then whisper "I could be your mommy~"
Jamie hated himself for being unable to stop the moan that came out when you nipped at his ear and hated himself even more for letting you bully and harass him everyday.
When Jamie started college he swore things would be different from high school, he'd be more social, more motivated, and less shy. But 3 months later and the only person he talked to on a daily basis was you.
The first time you two met was in class, he'd braved up the courage to ask you for a pencil, he didn't really need one but he was trying to get out of his comfort zone.
You obliged but only after teasing him a bit asking what he'd give you in return, he got all embarrassed not knowing how to properly return your banter, and offered to pay you which you found very amusing. After a few more interactions you started to grow very fond of the nerd who sat behind you in Calc and before you knew it he was always on your mind.
The way he'd get embarrassed and look away from you when he didn't know what to say, the nervous habits he had when he was out by himself, how kind he was without anyone noticing, he was your adorable little specimen, for you only. And of course the best part was how naughty he could be, oh he was so innocent at the same time tho. You'd lost count of the number of times you'd watched him through his window, jerking it to soft domme porn, pet play, degradation, and dumbification, he was a pervy little nerd but the shame he felt afterward made you want to climb through his window and show him how much more depraved you were.
"What are you talking about y/n, I'm older than you that doesn't even make sense" he rambled looking anywhere but your eyes that were boring into his skull. God why did you have to be so close, why did you have to smell so good and be so pretty and-
His thoughts were cut off when you grabbed his chin and made him look at you directly
"I just think you're the kind of guy who needs direction, someone to help make those difficult decisions a sweet pet like you can't really decide for themselves, and why should you, that pretty little head of yours shouldn't have to worry about a single thing" you cooed squishing his cheeks together and making his lips push out
"I'm eighteen y/n, I can make my own decisions" Jamie argued or tried to through squished lips
At 5'3" you stood an entire nine inches under Jamie, but that didn't make him feel any less small in your presence
Letting go of his face you took a step back pretending to think for a moment "Alright then, I'll let you choose. Give me your number or get wedgied."
Jamie stood there dumb for a second, pants growing tighter and his skin warmer
"W-what?" He laughed nervously
Pulling his face closer to yours by the collar of his shirt you repeated your earlier statement to him in a slow demeaning manner, as if he was brain dead
"Give me your number or you get boo boo, oh no!" Your lips turned down in faux sadness
Jamie wasn't sure what to make of the situation, you usually weren't this physical with him, he was a little scared but mostly turned on. He didn't want to admit it but he had the teeniest tiniest crush on you and he blamed the stupid porn he'd been watching but he only looked into it because of you!
"I-I don't.." he paused
On one hand, he wanted to give you his number but on the other hand he'd never thought getting wedgied sounded so appealing
"You don't hmm~? Well, that just won't do. What happened to my big tough guy? Who was so strong and independent? Do you know darling? Ah, of course you don't. You're just as clueless as a little puppy dog and as cute as one too <3"
The new nickname shocked Jamie and caused him to audibly gasp, his hard-on fully visible now
"You can't j-just-aghhh"
You gripped him by his hair to cut him off
"Oh is puppy trying to give the orders now? What a silly little mutt you are, you really don't know how this works do you? The tent in your pants suggests otherwise but here you are telling me what I can and can't do with my property"
"I-I'm not yours y/n! A-and I'm not a pervert!!"
That first statement made your blood boil and you didn't even realize that you'd pushed Jamie down to his knees
"A good dog doesn't speak, a good dog gets treats and rewards but you're not being a good dog, Jamie. I know your tiny brain might not have comprehended it yet but you are mine, you're only mine. Who else is gonna talk to such a pervert hm? You were made for me, nobody else should ever see you like this, in fact, nobody ever sees you the way I do."
Before he could get a word out you pinned him to his position by placing your shoe on his clothed dick and reached over him to grab his boxers. Putting pressure on both simultaneously had him squirming and letting out the most sinful moans that made you wanna take him right then and there.
"Y-nnnnnnn" he whined, grinding up to help release some of the tension but each movement made the fabric between his ass more uncomfortable
"Shhh puppy, this is the punishment you've been given, I wouldn't be a very good owner if I didn't discipline my pet, you just gotta learn how to be good for me mkay? Don't you wanna learn how to be good and get rewards and pets and walkies~?"
All the new sensations made Jamie's head spin, his body felt like it was burning up from the inside out, his head was fuzzy, his dick was so much more sensitive than it had ever been while he was touching it and he couldn't place why the slight uncomfortableness of the wedgie made his parts throb even more, the whole situation was so intense poor boy couldn't fully wrap his doggy brain around it.
"I-I'm so close y/nnn, oh godd please, give me more! 'M so closeee" he panted not caring how pathetic he looked
"Already? Such a greedy pup for me hehe~ Have you learned your lesson, Jamie? Do you even deserve to cum against the bottom of my shoe?" You sang in a taunting manner pressing down even harder with your shoe
"I-, aghhhhh ohh yess fuck, YES! I'm yours y/n only yours! Promise! I'll-uggghh I'll be-hah hah- good! Just for you!"
"Atta boy! That wasn't so hard was it pup?" Finally letting go of his underwear you continued to let Jamie grind against your foot until he got to the edge
"M- boutta...cum!!" At this point, Jamie had grabbed your leg, chin resting on your thick thigh, eyes teary and glazed over staring up at you as if you were a goddess
Softly cupping his face you lifted it off your leg and removed any contact from his dick causing him to let out strings of breathy and high-pitched whines
You sat down and pulled him into your lap, gently wiping away the fresh fallen tears off his face
"W-*hiccup*why y/n, was so close...so close"
His protest died down with a stern look from you
"You'll be alright puppy, I promise. I'm gonna take care of you from now on, you are mine after all"
The rest of the evening was spent holding your new puppy, rubbing his tummy and flustering him with all the soft attention you gave him
He couldn't believe he got so lucky as to experience you, and as long as he considers being owned and expected to heed your everyword, he was lucky!
End <3
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sparkrls · 2 months
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delayed proposal
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MASTERLIST
Summary: in which Harry’s got a few secrets up his sleeve and Y/N just wants to know if he’s going to propose
Author’s Note: this is the blurb i was talking about with bandmates!harry x y/n. remember to like and reblog because i crave validation. love ya <3
Word Count: 1.1k
•••
“Are you going to propose soon?” Was the last question Harry expected to be uttered out of Y/N’s bright pink lips.
It was just another Sunday night, the couple trying to enjoy those last fleeting moments of weekend relaxation before Monday arrived with the usual burden and obligations of being working adults.
In little less than 12 hours, Y/N would be back to her 9-5 job being an assistant to a high-class executive of a finance company. Her boss had too much authority for being so irresponsible and more money than anyone would need in a lifetime. What a luxury it must be to have your dad pass down a company you didn’t know how to run down to you.
Her boss wasn’t a horrible person, he was quite respectful and kind when asking her to do tasks, he was just a very exploitative executive. He had learned from his father to be unbending and demanding.
Y/N’s work paid a good wage, enough for her to pay her bills and still have a bit left. She wasn’t one to buy luxuries, though, preferring to save money up so she could one day quit her 9-5. And then dedicate herself to the things she did every day after work: picked up her red electric guitar, adorned a black skirt that bordered on too short, and perform for (currently small) crowds of people who cheered her band on as they played.
There wasn’t anything Y/N loved quite as much as the rush of being on stage, the bass making the stage shake with each loud thrum, sticks clashing with plates of a drum and the velvet voice of an angel, Harry singing through the microphone and his eyes on her and her fingers moving over the fret of the guitar.
They played small clubs and rundown bars, getting payed a poor wage for the extrenous effort used to get four adults with full time jobs to align their schedules in order to rehearse. Sometimes all they got were free drinks, but they took what they could get and did it for the love of it.
That was how they got here, on Harry’s couch, his arm draped around her shoulders, and her head on his chest. They were watching Bluey, the way they did most nights they spent together. He would always roll his eyes when Y/N suggested it, pretending to hate it, but she knew it was his favorite show, and he always cried at the emotional episodes.
Their instruments lay forgotten on the table, his blue guitar next to her red one, as they’d spent most of the afternoon drinking beer and writing a new song.
It was a question that had been lingering in the back of Y/N’s mind, and she wasn’t quite sure why she chose that moment to blurt it out, but she did. “Are you going to propose soon?”
Harry’s gaze turned to her, eyebrows raised in light surprise, a small breath exhaled between his lips in a faint chuckle. “What?”
It was too late to take it back, so Y/N sat up and told him, “You’ve always talked about wanting to settle down and get married.” His features remained in small confusion. “We’ve been together for a while. Are you going to marry me?”
“Well, of course I’m going to marry you,” Harry said, like it were some scientific fact that everyone knew and was unchangeable. “You’re my forever, baby. I’ve written about a hundred songs about it.” His lips turned up in a smile. That smile he wore every time he told her he loved her, with a cocky and smug edge as if he were teasing her, laced with affection.
“I don’t mean we have to get married this instant, but I just, I guess we’ve never talked about if we were getting engaged or when and I-“
“Baby,” Harry cut off her nervous rambling, chuckling. He kissed her, soft lips with cracked edges from the cold and dry weather. “I already know what ring I’m going to buy. I’m just saving up for it.”
Y/N’s mind blanked for a moment. “You’re already thinking about rings?” Her lips parted in surprise.
Harry rolled his eyes. “Yes, silly girl. You’re not the only one thinking about marriage.” He smiled at her, reassuring her that he was just teasing. “In case you haven’t noticed yet, I’m hopelessly in love with you.”
“Oh,” Y/N said, still in shock. Here she was, getting all nervous and insecure about marriage and he had already been planning to propose. Her question now seemed a bit foolish. She looked up at him and said, “You know I don’t need some needlessly expensive ring, right? You could buy it on Aliexpress and I couldn’t care less.”
Harry looked at her with slight amusement. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” Y/N said with a small nod. “It’s stupid to spend money on a ring when it doesn’t make much of a difference.”
Harry sighed. “Baby, it’s not about the ring being expensive. It’s about the ring being a symbol for my devotion to you. And I want my devotion to be apparent in the beauty of it.” He tapped the finger on her left hand where the ring would lay. “No, I don’t have to spend money on an expensive ring. That’s why I’m not just getting a huge diamond. I’m getting something you’ll love.”
“But it’s expensive and it’s a waste of money on a simple ring-“
“Is it just a ring? Or is it a symbol of matrimony, of us being together forever?” Harry said gently, correcting her statement. “Not to mention you’re going to be wearing that ring every day ‘till you die.”
Y/N made a sound of contradiction. “Unless we get a divorce.”
Harry stared at her blankly for a few moments. He deadpanned, “Not funny.”
“Kinda funny,” Y/N said with a small smile.
She waited for Harry’s stern gaze to soften with adoration the way it always did. It only took a few moments for his composure to crumble and he leaned in close to her. His nose grazed against hers as he muttered quietly, “You’re going to be the death of me.”
The way he said it sounded like a declaration of love. Everything he said to her did. Because his love could never be called in to doubt. It shone through every word he uttered, every song he wrote, every thing he did.
His lips locked onto hers once again, the tension in his muscles melting away as if all he needed to feel complete was to be pressed against her. To have every inch of skin surrounding her, the taste of beer still on her tongue, and the scent of spring enveloping his senses.
“I’m going to marry you,” Harry uttered, an oath murmured against her lips before placing a hand on the back of her neck, pulling her close once again.
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flamingpudding · 7 months
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Fictober23 Prompt: 2 - "Don't worry, I got you."
Fandom: DPxDC
Rating: T
Warnings: Mentions of death, implied mentions of panic attacks handling, Jason typical profanity
"Don't worry, I got you."
These were the first words Jason could finally hear after what felt like forever. His head was pounding and his vision was still tinted green but slowly he felt like he was gaining control over the rage that had taken over.
He couldn't remember what triggered it, nor what he had done when his vision turned green. All he remembers was that he had been out on Patrol before he heard a scream. But now he could feel two hands resting on his shoulder. A young voice resounded in his ears, telling him to breathe in deeply, hold it and then breathe out. He remembers this exercise, B had made sure they all knew this one, so that they could help anyone that was working themselves into a panic attack. But he wasn't suffering through one, was he?
Unconsciously his eyes closed, blocking his vision of the still tinted green world.
"That's it. Try to redirect that power, don't let the Mania take hold. Can you feel your core? Try listening for its humming."
What core? What do they mean? Yet despite not knowing what they were talking about Jason tried to follow the direction the voice gave him. He wasn't sure why he was even listening to them, but something in him made the vigilante want to trust them. Redirect the power, they had said. Maybe they meant the Pit Rage? But how? Feeling for his core? Did they mean his heart? Jason could do that, he focused on his heart beat, tried to sense how it beat rhythmically in his chest and heard the blood rushing in his veins. Now that he listened there was a humming next to his heartbeat. Was this what they meant? Probably.
"Great you found your core, focus on it. Store that power in there for now."
Nodding slightly Jason tried to do what they said. Whatever this core was, he imaged it like a box and then mentally stuffed all that Pit Rage into it. Every bit of rage and madness the Pit made him feel, everything. He pushed it all into the box he imagined as that core and once it was all in there he decided to go a step further. His eyebrows furrowed as he imagined closing the lit of the box and putting a big fat lock on it. Like the one B put on his weapon storage after he raided it 5 times in a row when he had run out of grenades to throw at drug dealers and other scum lurking in his territory.
"Hey! Hey! Don't overdo it! Your core is still tiny! To much power und you will be in big trouble if it bursts the next time!"
His eyes snapped open. The first thing he noticed was his version was no longer tinted green. The second thing he noticed was the kid floating with no legs before him. Lazarus Green eyes coupled with snow white hair stared concerned yet relieved back at him.
"What the fuck-"
"Great! You're back to your senses!" The kid cut him of grinning at him and Jason was just confused and also surprised at himself. He did not feel anymore rage or a need for violence but instead his mind for once felt calm and a whole lot Pit free. Though there was the confusion of WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT KID?
"I honestly didn't expect to find another Halfa when I was contacted by Pandora to look into something. But Clockwork did mention something before, that I should look out for his Granddaughters fan that lives in Gotham and wears a red helmet. Didn't think I would meet you this soon though or like that. I haven't even greeted Lady Gotham yet. I was just on my way to the center of her haunt when I got these real disturbing feelings and bam you appeared out of nowhere attacking and I was forced-"
He cut the kids rambling off by rudely shoving his hand over the kids mouth to make the boy stop talking. "Shut up for a second there kid and let me catch up. You just dumped a lot of info there."
The kid had the nerve to sheepishly rub the back of his neck as he floated backwards a little, away from his hand that was covering his mouth. "Sorry, I got excited there. I think this must have been how the fruitloop had felt at first before things went to shit, when he found out I was a Halfa too. It's just kind of exciting, you know? There aren't a lot of us."
"The fuck you mean Halfa?" He questioned and mentally thanked his self from a couple hours ago for choosing to go on patrol with his trusted helmet instead of listening to his brother to use just a mask because of the head. This way the kid was not able to see his facial expression escaping him with all the info bombs the kid kept dropping.
"Half death, half alive. Well more like Half Ghost, Half human but details." The kid shrugged and Jason really wanted to pinch the bridge of his nose right now through his helmet.
"Last I checked I appear to be pretty alive, kid." He would know if he weren't or at least he hoped he would know, somehow.
"Well duh. That's the half alive part. The half death part is your second form, have you not managed to transform yet? I mean your core is tiny but that shouldn't matter to much. You did die and then come back alive with the balance sort of regulated by a big amount of ectoplasm, right? Though I have to say that the ectoplasm in your system is very unusual. It's so different from what I feel from Dani, Dan or even the fruitloop. I probably should drag you to Frostbite as soon as possible but there are no portals here so I would have to drag you either to my home or Wisconsin first, or maybe find a natural portal but that's harder than just taking you to one of the permanent open ones. Speaking of Dani and Dan, they gotta be excited to hear that there is another Halfa in our age range that's not related via cloning or time shenanigans! That's gotta be so fun and we can show-"
"Kid, you're rambling again." Jason cut in suppressing a sigh. Cloning? Time shenanigans? What the fuck was he getting into by associating with this kid? "Did anyone ever tell you that you are bad at explaining?"
"My friends and older sister." The kid answered with no delay, like he had been asked that same question before. "Also I am 20."
Jason wished the kid could see how he arched an eyebrow under his helmet. He could have tricked him if he didn't look like a 14 years old. The kid appeared to sense it anyway as they huffed and pouted his way. "I swear I am! My Ghost form is just stuck at looking like the age I died at! I haven't figured out how to manipulate my ectoplasm to make my ghost self look older yet! I swear Dan has been holding this over me for years now!"
"Sure kid, let's just get back to that Halfa thing and what that means for me." Jason didn't know what exactly the kid was nor what the kid meant by Jason apparently being also an Halfa -was it?-, which meant the kid was one in the first place. "By the way, who are you?"
"Oh right! I am Danny Phantom! Nice to meet you Red Hood! And pleases stop calling me a kid! I swear I am not anymore!" Well that was at least a step forward. Now Jason just had to figure out how to get the information he really needed from the kid, Danny, without listening to excessive rambling as well as how to explain just all of this to Bruce and the rest of his siblings. He can already hear them freaking out about it.
No wait, he actually could hear them freak out right now. Oh shit! His coms were on, weren't they? Wait did Dickwing just say ETA 5? And B just said ETA 3! Shit, fuck, damit! His family were on the way and he was not sure if the Halfa Kid, or whatever, would run at the site of them. B would probably scare the shit out of the kid just to get answers.
Well at least, the good thing so far was that the Pit was quiet now and the kid could apparently help him control it and the Pit Rage better.
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general-dweebous · 5 months
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I love the idea of meeting the infamous Halsin your friends boast about, and he’s just smitten with you
Everyone always described him as such a flirt- charming, handsome, the whole package so to speak. Granted you underestimated what they meant when describing how giant he truly is. But most of all, you didn’t expect him to be so.. wonderful.
You knew your friends keep good company, so you expected you’d get along, but you didn’t expect to be sitting next to the giant bear of a man enthralled in conversation for hours. Had it truly been hours? It’s easy to make friends, but more of a challenge to find others you truly connect with, and Halsin was checking off all of those boxes.
And of course, his looks and overall stature combined with this personality make it difficult not to swoon over, but at the moment, you’re too elated simply connecting so well with someone else again. Who else would let you ramble about cute critters for 45 minutes straight?
What you weren’t catching on to, however, was that Halsin was absolutely taken with you. His eyes would drink in your features when it was your turn to speak, a smile stuck on his face as he listened to your nonstop train of thought, rambling on about another fascination of yours. Others tend to find these conversations a bit goofy, laughing them off, but you were invested. Even about the silly little things. And he loves it. He truly feels that he could watch and listen to you for hours and he wouldn’t get tired of your company.
The way his cheeks would flush a warm pink when you laugh at a silly nature joke of his.
How he would feel his chest warm as you seem to unknowingly lean in closer to him, letting your knees touch his without moving away.
Let alone the way his heart would beat faster as you take his hand in both of yours, turning his palm to face upwards as you trace lines on his hands, “I’m serious- you have earth hands”
“earth hands?” he’d repeat with a slight chuckle
“well don’t laugh at me!” you’d reply with a taunting smile, “it’s all in the shape; broad, large, square hands. It’s positive, don’t worry. It means you have strong values, or something.”
“Does it? What else does it mean?”
You’d pause, holding his one (large..) hand in both of yours, “Responsible, practical.” you’d say, your thumb almost massaging his palm. “comfortable working with your hands,”
Halsin’s face would flush again, subtly. He’d notice the way yours does, too, which doesn’t help his ever growing infatuation. His eyes are locked on yours, he’d be happy if you held onto his hand forever. He is almost instinctively flirty, following up with “to put it lightly, I suppose.”
There would be a moment of shy silence. You, trying to hide your embarrassed smirk by staring at his palm longer.
Halsin would be the type to forget anyone else is in the room, lifting the palm from your hand to hook a finger under your chin to get you to look up at him. Even sitting down he’s still double your size. His thumb would graze your lower lip as his eyes gaze into yours.
Unfortunately, there are other people in the room, and they ruin the moment.
“Halsin, have you seen- of course.” your mutual friend would say, rolling their eyes with a laugh. “Stop flirting with my ride home!” They’d tease as they grab your arm and pull you away. You know he’d be wanting to chase after you like some silly romantic novel. Another mutual friend from the group would plop down next to him, smacking him on the back with a laugh. “Careful, your eyes are practically turning into hearts.” They’d taunt. “They’re great, right?”
“An understatement.” He’d say with a warm smile, watching you leave, already hoping for the next encounter.
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navybrat817 · 1 year
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What Goes Around
Pairing: BFD/DBF!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky is your friend's dad and your dad's friend and nothing more. Until he isn't. Word Count: Over 6.2k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, vaginal unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), semi-public sex, possessive behavior, dirty talk, light Daddy kink, age gap (reader is in early 20's and Bucky late 40's), arguing, light violence, swearing, conflicted reader (everything is consensual!), everyone is a mess, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?). A/N: Woohoo! Stepped out of my comfort zone a bit on this and I'm so proud! Thank you to @sweeterthanthis , @dreamlessinparis , @buckyownsmylife, @targaryenvampireslayer , @christywantspizza , @sgt-seabass , @lookiamtrying for listening to me ramble about this. Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby (thank you as well), but any and all mistakes are my own. Banner and moodboard by yours truly. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated! ***Any soft!dark undertones are unintentional as everything is consensual.***
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You met Bethany Barnes your freshman year of college. While some of the girls on your floor knew each other, you went off to university not knowing a soul and had to be assigned a roommate. Your nerves shot up when you walked into the shared room. Beth, as she preferred to be called, was intimidatingly beautiful. You hadn't met any supermodels, but she could've chosen that as her profession with her tall, slender build, long auburn hair, and sparkling blue eyes.
Your nervousness faded when she smiled and gave you a hug, after asking if it was okay.
"You're here!" she smiled more when she pulled away, looking over your shoulder at who you thought was your dad. "By the closet."
You weren't normally stunned silent by looking at a person, but that was what happened when you met James "Bucky" Barnes. With the beard and quiet confidence in which he carried himself, you would've mistaken him for a professor had it not been for the fact that he was in the dormitory. Call it instant attraction or lust, but you found yourself openly staring at the handsome man as he carried a box into the room. He gazed at you, too, or so you thought. Your mind may have been playing tricks on you.
"Dad, quit staring at my roommate. That's weird."
The needle on the record scratched. Her dad. You could see where she got her good looks. He was taller and broader, his hair dark brown instead of auburn, and eyes a deeper shade of blue. One of the hottest men to ever grace the earth, if anyone asked for your opinion.
It didn't matter how good looking he was. This was Beth's dad. It put him in the "look, but don't touch" column.
Your dad, Dave, appeared moments later and introduced himself. Bucky was kind enough to help him with the rest of your stuff and even offered to buy lunch. While he didn't look the least bit upset about leaving, it was clear your dad was having a tough time holding it together and even had tears in his eyes. You understood. It was the two of you for so long and now you were out the door.
Beth put a hand on his arm and gave him a small smile to ease his worries.
"Hey. Your daughter and I will look out for each other, okay? You have nothing to worry about. Plus, I think we're going to be good friends."
She was right.
To your surprise, you discovered that Beth only lived about an hour away from your hometown. Like you, Beth didn't know anyone, but she was friendly and welcoming. Definitely more outgoing than you would ever be. Her popularity grew quickly, but the two of you were there for each other like she promised. While you had lost your mother, hers took off when she was so young she couldn't even remember her face. Bucky did the best he could to raise her. Like your dad had done for you.
Maybe that was why they became such good friends, too.
The two of you traded off different weekends at each other's houses when you left campus and spent a few holidays together. You did a couple of summer trips with your dads doing their best not to be overbearing. Eventually Beth joined a sorority and moved into the chapter's house, so you no longer lived together. Bucky suggested that your dad move closer to his place when he decided to sell the house, that way everyone could still spend time together.
"You wouldn't mind, would you?" your dad asked at the time.
You didn't at the time. It still gave everyone a chance to hang out and your dad seemed to need it more than you. He admired Bucky for being self-made, having a nice house, and a good job. It was as if the man's confidence rubbed off on him. He began to dress better and get in shape. He mentioned possibly dating again, which you encouraged. Your dad deserved to be happy.
You couldn't have predicted it would all go to hell after graduation.
You nursed your wine as you sat at the bar, staring into the abyss of the liquid as you swirled it around. Maybe if you looked long enough, you'd forget about tonight. It should have been an evening of celebration for you. Nothing major, but it was something that meant the world to you.
"I think you need something stronger."
You stayed silent when you turned to your right, slightly surprised when you saw none other than Bucky take a seat beside you. The citrus scent of his cologne filled your nostrils when he moved his stool close enough that your knees touched. Up close, even with the dim bar lightning, you could see the gray hairs in his trimmed beard and perfectly coiffed brown hair. Of all the people you expected to see, he certainly wasn't one of them.
"What are you doing here?" you asked.
"I thought you could use a friend."
"Are we friends?" You asked softly.
Hurt flashed in his eyes, which filled you with guilt. "I thought we were."
You weren't sure if you would label Bucky as a friend, but you cared for the man. He had been good to you over the years, staying up with you and watching movies when you couldn't sleep or listening to you ramble on about your papers, internship, resume, while Beth pampered herself. He gave advice when you asked and listened when you only wanted to talk.
You didn't need to be rude to him.
"We are," you wanted to assure him and you felt a bit better when his shoulders relaxed. "How did you even know where to find me?"
"You rushed off before dinner started and you mentioned that you liked this place," he replied, like it was obvious. "We were supposed to be celebrating. We didn't get all dressed up for nothing," he teased, gesturing to himself and drawing your attention to his large body as you smiled a little.
Over the last few years, you got used to seeing different looks from him. Jeans and shirts tight enough to see the muscles underneath, sweatpants that hung low enough to let the imagination wander, swim trunks when you went on vacation, and even the occasional suit. He opted for a dark blue suit tonight that matched his eyes, but skipped the tie. It wasn't a look many could pull off and he did it with ease.
You blinked and shook your head, trying not to pay attention to how good he looked. Just because you were upset didn't mean you had a right to check him out. It was wrong to be attracted to him and you refused to acknowledge it. Mainly because he was one of your dad's best friends and one of your best friend's dads.
No, she's not my best friend. Not anymore.
“We even kind of match,” he smiled to himself.
You glanced down at your short, sleeveless dress. It wasn’t revealing or flashy, but you felt beautiful in it. The shade of blue was close to his suit. Part of you felt silly for dressing up for a simple dinner.
"I guess we do," you said softly, looking at your glass again.
“Surprised the boys aren’t lining up for a chance with you,” he said.
You snorted, thankful you didn’t take a sip of your wine. You would’ve spit it out. “The boys have never lined up for me, but it’s okay. I’m used to it.”
Boys usually talked to you to get closer to Beth.
“Their loss,” Bucky said sincerely as he held up a couple of fingers for the bartender.
“And we have nothing to celebrate,” you said, not wanting to dwell on your sad dating history.
"Bullshit," he said, ordering two shots of whiskey and setting some money on the counter once the bartender came over. "You got a job at Stark Industries. I'm proud of you."
Your cheeks heated at the praise. "Thank you," you said, sparing him a glance when he passed you a glass. "I already have a drink.”
“And I said it isn’t strong enough,” he hesitated as he picked up his own. “Beth said you weren’t much of a drinker. Not even on your 21st birthday. You were a good girl, weren’t you?”
You were conflicted as you listened. Did Bucky mean for that to be an innuendo? You chose to focus on Beth instead, and how angry you felt. How many nights did you hold her hair back while she puked?
“You're right. We should celebrate."
Bucky gave you a worried look as you picked up your drink.
Your cheeks ached from your wide smile. "To my dad and your daughter fucking each other. Cheers!"
You might as well address the elephant in the room since he wouldn't.
He frowned when you downed the shot, the burn spreading from the back of your throat to your chest. You half expected him to see a clench in his jaw or an embarrassed blush in his cheeks, but he merely threw his drink back and slammed the glass down when he finished. "You sure you don't want to do another toast? I don't think the entire bar heard you."
"Oh, I wouldn't want to make a scene. I did that already, remember?"
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You hadn't seen Beth in months since you graduated. Neither of you landed dream jobs right away, but you did find temporary work to help cover the rent for your new place. You wanted to be independent and your dad supported you. But your friend hadn’t even seen your place.
Any time you reached out to meet up, she made an excuse why she couldn't join you or bailed at the last minute if she agreed. At first, you didn't take any offense. You figured she met a guy. She got like that sometimes over boys, but she had never gone that long without hanging out with you.
Maybe she had outgrown you after college.
Your dad sensed that you missed Beth and assured you that you'd see her soon. He planned a special dinner to celebrate you getting a job at Stark Industries. Beth promised she wouldn't miss it. You thought it was strange how easily she accepted your dad's invitation, but you discovered quickly that she wasn't there for you in the first place.
"Sweetie," your dad began as he slipped an arm around Beth's waist. "We have something we want to talk to you about. Beth and I are, well, we're seeing each other. Now I know that may be difficult to hear, especially since I haven't seen anyone serious since your mother, but…"
Your dad used to describe you as amicable and well-behaved when someone asked him about his daughter. No matter what life threw your way, you did your best to be friendly and stay out of trouble. It could have been before your mother was always kind and you did your best to follow in her footsteps. It often meant putting the needs of others before your own, but it never bothered you.
Until tonight.
Until you saw the ring on Beth's finger.
Beth, the girl who flashed boys from her sorority house window and blew off studying. The same girl who cried with you on the anniversary of your mom's death. She was going to marry your dad.
A slow moving storm began to swirl in your mind. You managed to hear your dad say that they began seeing each other the night of graduation and promised it wasn't sooner. It explained why Beth had blown you off all that time. They were trying to figure out how to tell you, but all they did was lie.
Outrage was a foreign feeling to you and you didn't know how to channel it. Were you supposed to scream? Cry? All you knew was that it clawed at your insides until it broke free.
Whatever you yelled was enough to make your dad step back in shock and Beth grab your arm to drag you outside. The porch light illuminated her enough to see the anger etched on her face. You didn't even recognize her.
"What the fuck? You've been fucking my dad?!" you yelled, snatching your arm back from her.
"Yeah, I'm fucking your dad!" she yelled back.
"How did this even happen?!" you demanded to know, immediately regretting asking a second later.
"After your graduation dinner, we were drinking and I said I always thought he was hot and-"
"God, stop!" you shrieked, covering your ears until her mouth stopped moving. "So, you two have been sneaking around behind my back and lying to me for months?!"
"We had to because we knew you'd lose your shit! I knew you wouldn’t be mature about this!"
You trembled as you took a step back. You weren't used to yelling or being yelled at. There were times that you and Beth bickered, but it was nothing like this.
And, of course, you'd lose your shit. What did she honestly expect? Was she the real reason your dad began to take better care of himself over the years?
"Why?" You asked almost timidly, a contrast to how you shouted moments ago. "I don't want to sound cliché, but you can have anyone you want. Why him?"
"Because I want him," she said unapologetically.
Beth, in the time you knew her, was never afraid to go after what or who she wanted. She also went all in with guys. She didn't believe in doing it half-ass. But your dad was far from her type, the opposite of the fuckboys she typically dated.
"My dad isn't one of those stupid boys who does lines of coke off your ass. He's a good man."
"I know he's a good man. That's why I'm marrying him," she snapped, holding up her hand for you to see the ring again. It was beautiful. If you had to guess, it was also expensive. "We just want your support."
You wondered what it would be like at times to have a stepmom. Whenever you envisioned it, your best friend never came to mind. Your dad had to be going through a midlife crisis. God, what would your mom say if she was alive? What did Bucky have to say?
"You're half his age!" you argued, the anger starting to surface again as you stepped forward and smacked her hand away. "What do you two possibly have in common?"
"A lot, actually," she said, clutching her hand against her chest. "You never had a problem with your dad and I hanging out in all the years we've been friends. And you wouldn't give a shit about his age if this was any other guy."
"But this isn't just any guy! This is my dad!" you argued, pleading with her to understand as your vision blurred. Didn’t she realize how awkward it was? What if they ended things? "And you're my best friend."
Beth bit her lip at the sight of your tears. "Your dad and I care about each other, okay? We deserve to be happy. And I care about you, too, but I'm not letting him go. I refuse to be like you."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" you demanded when you watched the sympathy leave her eyes.
When backed into a corner, Beth lashed out like an animal. Anyone who got too close got hurt. Unlucky for you, you knew you were about to be on the receiving end of her wrath.
"You spent all four years of college studying and being nice instead of living. You only had fun when I made it happen. You hardly dated. You're lucky you even got laid at all," she said, digging into your insecurities. It was tough for guys to look at you when Beth stood beside you. It made you wonder how long she felt this way about you. "Deep down, you’re just a fucking coward. Unlike you, I have the balls to go after what I want, so that's what I did. You should find a pair and do the same."
Your hand connected with Beth's cheek before you could stop yourself. Like a scene out of a movie, your dad opened the door in time for him to witness the slap. But it wasn't his hand that gripped your shoulder to pull you away.
It was Bucky’s.
Your hand stung as Beth dissolved into tears in your dad's arms. He looked disappointed in you and said as much as you tried to say something. You waited for Bucky to snap at you for hitting his daughter, but he stayed eerily silent as he looked at your hand.
Did he hate you now?
"I'm sorry," you whispered, pulling away before he could say a word.
You ducked inside long enough to grab your purse and take off before any of them could stop you. It was a coward's way out. Maybe Beth was right about you, after all.
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"You didn't cause a scene," Bucky said, ordering you both another drink. "That being said, I didn't hear most of the argument, but I did see you hit Beth."
You winced a little and rubbed your palm against your thigh. It was the first time you ever hit someone. "I'm sorry for slapping her."
"Don't be. She deserved it," he said under his breath.
You didn't expect him to say that.
"Your dad is worried, you know," he said, surprising you again. "Said you aren't answering his calls."
"No, I'm not. I don't know what to say to him," you admitted, finally taking out your phone to glance at it. You had missed calls and texts from your dad and Beth, but you refused to listen to the voicemails or look at the messages. "I don't get it."
"What do you not get?" He asked curiously when you finally took your drink.
"Them," you said, allowing the alcohol to burn your throat again. "I don't get them together. Beth isn't. Well, she's not…"
"Your mother?" he guessed.
You looked in your lap with a sigh.
"No, she isn't, but maybe that isn't a bad thing. She won't try to be your mom. Just a partner to your dad," he said. Was your dad someone who could ground her? Was she someone who could make him feel younger? "They're consenting adults. And your dad is lonely. Has been for years."
It sounded like he was trying to placate you, but something in his voice kept you from calling him out. You knew your dad was lonely. Beth said something similar about Bucky.
"I think Beth is bringing him out of his shell," Bucky gently added.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve hardly seen them in months,” you mumbled.
“They should’ve made time for you,” he said, putting his hand over yours. You didn’t dwell on how nice his touch felt since he pulled away just as quickly. “I should have, too. I’ve missed seeing you around the place.”
It wasn’t his job to make time for you.
“You’ve missed me?” you questioned, warmth spreading in your face as he smiled. It was nice to hear that. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Though I have a feeling you won't want to stop by as much now to see me.”
"If I don't, it has nothing to do with you," you said.
"Sure," he smiled a little.
You examined him with a critical eye, trying to decipher what was going on in his head. Wouldn't it be awkward for him, too? Where was his anger at the situation? Was he hiding it?
"Why are you not upset? She's your daughter."
He gave you a wistful smile and had his drink. A drop of liquid stayed on his lip and you were tempted to wipe it away. Or lick it away. You couldn't act on those urges, especially after the way you went off on Beth. It would be hypocritical.
"Just because I’m not letting it show doesn’t mean I’m not upset. Truth is, I can’t control what Beth does. She stopped listening to me a long time ago. And if I tried to force her to let Dave go, it would make her want him more," he explained, his jaw twitching. "I had a few choice words for him since he kept it from you."
"Wait," you swung in your chair and almost landed in his lap. His hands gripped your arms to steady you, but he didn't let go. "Because he kept it from me? Not you?"
Bucky gave you a single nod, making your heart crack.
"So you knew?" you asked, sadness bubbling up this time instead of anger.
"I did. I’m sorry."
Why would they tell Bucky and not you? Did they expect him to be more mature? Was he the lesser of the two evils or worse?
“How long have you known?” you asked, moving off the stool with his help. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
“I’ve only known about their relationship for a couple of weeks,” he answered, trying to stop you when you put your phone in your bag. No wonder he wasn’t as upset. He had time to process the news. “Look, it wasn’t my place. You had enough on your mind with job interviews and I was-”
“You were what? Trying to protect me?”
“In a way, yeah,” he said, making you take a step back when he stood up. “I know how my daughter can be, but I didn’t expect them to pick your celebration dinner to tell you.”
“Tonight wasn’t about me,” you said with a bitter laugh. “It was never meant to be about me.”
Age gap and weirdness aside, you didn't want to say out loud that you felt pushed out. Your dad and Beth would be wrapped up in each other from now on. They already were. How would Beth be able to talk to you about romantic issues when those very issues involved your dad? Would your father make time for you? What if they decided to have a kid?
Were you wrong for thinking of yourself instead of being happy for them?
“Come here,” he whispered, embracing you in a comforting hug.
You were close to bursting into tears, shutting your eyes to keep them at bay. What were you supposed to do with the emotions you were feeling? And why did it feel so good to be in his arms?
“I don’t want to be mad at him,” you whispered.
“You won’t be mad at him forever. He’s your father,” he said, leaning in close so his lips brushed your ear. “But he isn’t your daddy, is he?”
Your eyes slowly opened at his words.
“You want me to be your daddy?”
You nearly stumbled back, your eyes wide as you looked at him. There was no playfulness in his gaze. Nothing to give away that it was a joke. You heard him wrong or imagined that because there was no way he would ask you that. Maybe those couple of shots got to you quicker than you thought.
“What did you say?” you asked.
“You heard what I said,” he said evenly.
You laughed as you backed away more. It had to be a joke and you weren’t in the mood for games. So why wasn’t he laughing with you?
“Whatever that was, I-I can’t process this right now. I need air. I need to go home.”
“You’ve been drinking,” Bucky pointed out as you began to walk to the side door. “I can take you. Let me take care of you.
“You’ve been drinking, too,” you said over your shoulder. “I’ll call a cab.”
“Wait!”
You pushed the door open and welcomed the cool air as you walked down the alley. It didn’t bother you since the alcohol warmed you a bit. It was dark, except for the glow of the neon lights. The perfect cover to hide your oncoming tears.
You turned around when you heard footsteps behind you, but didn’t speak when you saw Bucky a few feet away. What would you say to him? It was difficult to think with him watching you, the air thick with tension. The longer his gaze lingered on you, the harder it was to breathe. If he noticed your hand shaking when you wiped at your eyes, he didn't point it out.
Such a gentleman.
"You're not going home until you talk to me," he said, taking another step toward you.
"You can't keep me out here all night. There. I spoke to you."
"That isn't what I meant and you know it. You're pissed about everything, I get it, but don't act like I'm the bad guy here."
"You're not the good guy either," you snapped, pointing back at the bar. “What the hell was that in there? Asking to be my daddy?”
“You know how relieved Dave was that I didn’t beat the shit out of him over Beth? Or that I didn’t push him away as a friend? You know why I didn’t?” he asked, avoiding your question. “Because I’d be a fucking hypocrite.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’ve wanted you since I walked into your dorm room your freshman year.”
The air rushed out of your lungs. A man who is practically sex on legs wanted you. Someone off limits and you could never have.
“Beth never wanted a stepmom and the women I dated didn’t want a bratty daughter. I almost gave up on dating and then I saw you. You were right in front of me and I couldn’t have you because you were half my age and living with my daughter,” he explained.
You thought back over the years, searching for signs in the memories that he wanted you. The late, quiet nights together. His interests in your studies. How he used to joke with your dad that the reason you didn’t date much was because the boys weren’t good enough for you.
“Been almost five years and I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried to be good. What’s stopping us now?”
“I. That’s not. We.” Why couldn’t you form a coherent sentence? “You’re a good man and a good looking man, but you’re Beth’s dad.”
Bucky’s bitter laugh chilled you more than the cool air.
“So, you’re going to pretend that you don’t want me? That you haven’t wanted me all these years and I’ve just imagined the looks and want between us?” he demanded, every bit the confident man you grew used to seeing. “Say you don’t want me and we’ll forget this whole thing.”
You couldn’t say that.
“Say I do want you,” you said carefully. “We just can’t.”
You backed up when he strode forward and wrapped his hand around your wrist. The touch was gentler than you expected as he turned and backed you against the wall, your bag unceremoniously falling to the ground. You were forced to look at him when he gripped your chin, pressing his body closer to yours. His eyes flickered between your gaze and trembling mouth and you wondered if he heard how fast your heart pounded.
Were his eyes always such a dark shade of blue or did you ignore the lust hidden beneath the surface?
"Why can’t we, hmm?" he asked, firmly keeping your head in place when you tried to avert your gaze. "Is it because you’re scared? You don’t have to be.”
You were scared as hell. Bucky is a man. Experienced.
"Aren't you tired of being good? I know I am."
You thought back to Beth’s previous words. How she had the balls to go after what she wanted and you needed to do the same. What better time to start than now?
You pressed your lips against his and it didn’t take him long for his tongue to slip in, tasting the whiskey as he devoured you. He moaned when your hands moved down his torso, allowing you to divulge in the thing you both denied yourselves. Some twisted part of you mourned what you could’ve had for months had you simply stopped being a good girl.
Were you truly good to begin with?
The line of his hard cock pressed against you as he rocked his hips and kissed down your neck. “This isn’t how I pictured it, but I can’t fucking wait.”
“How did you picture it?” you whimpered, rolling your hips back against his.
“I’d rather show you later,” he whispered, lightly biting down. It wasn’t hard enough to break the skin, but enough that pain and pleasure lingered. “You have no idea what I’m going to do to you.”
He moved away enough to push your dress up around your hips, shocking you when he tore your panties off. Tucking the ruined fabric into his pants pocket, he slipped his hand back between your thighs. His fingers were cool against your slick folds and you shamelessly writhed, needing everything he was willing to give you.
“Did you touch yourself at night wishing I’d show up and fuck your pretty pussy until you cried for me? Hmm?” He said, kissing you again as you whined. The light scratch of his beard made you shiver as he nipped your bottom lip. “Tell me you want my cock.”
Your head spun at his demand. You weren’t a virgin, but the guys you had been with before weren’t big on dirty talk. Unless they talked about how amazing their cocks were.
They weren’t.
“I want your cock,” you whined against his lips, desperate for him.
You wanted him to fill you up until you were sore, aching, and forgot why you were so upset in the first place.
“I’ll give it to you,” he promised.
Your fingers twisted in his shirt when he slid his fingers into your wet slit. You couldn’t recall a time in your life you felt this hot and slick. And feeling one finger push inside, you were sure this was nothing more than an erotic, dirty dream.
“Fuck, you’re tight. And you’re gonna let me fuck you against this wall, aren’t you?” he asked as you nodded. “Dirty girl. My dirty girl now.”
His finger twisted as he added another and you nearly smacked your head against the wall, but his other hand came up to soften the blow. “Bucky,” you gasped.
“I don’t know if you really want my cock,” he teased, moving his long fingers deep. “Might need to hear it one more time.”
As if you weren’t practically riding the thick digits at this point and moaning in the dark alleyway, he really needed to hear you say it again? The squelching sound of your pussy wasn’t loud enough? But your body liked his teasing. Loved his demands.
“Please, I need your cock. Please, Bucky. Please.” you begged, almost sobbing when he took his fingers out.
“But you said we can't do this. Isn't that what you said?” he asked.
When you opened your mouth to answer, he pushed his wet fingers inside.
“Taste yourself and try to say you don't want me. I dare you,” he whispered, wiping some of the bittersweet juices on your tongue. His fingers slipped free as you gaped at him, watching as he licked the remainder with a groan. “Even sweeter than I imagined.”
The sound of him unbuckling his belt snapped you out of your stupor. “Bucky, I’m-”
“On the pill and clean. I know,” he cut you off as he took his cock out and stroked himself. “I need to fill you up, pretty girl. Need to make you mine, the way I should’ve a long time ago.”
You struggled to keep yourself upright as he guided himself between your legs, holding your hip steady when he pushed the head in. You weren’t nearly stretched enough to take him, but your greedy pussy didn’t care as he slipped in inch by inch. You moaned as he kept pushing until he was fully sheathed inside you. You had never felt so full and likely never would again.
“Fuck,” he groaned, pressing his forehead against yours as your walls pulsed around him.
In the dark place in the back of your mind you kept locked away, you wondered how he looked and sounded when he was pleased. If he gasped when he came or if his eyes rolled back. You were going to find out though, weren’t you?
You cried out when he thrust, one hand moving up to grip his hair. The quick, hard motions felt as desperate as you did inside. You didn’t care if it was fast or dirty. You were tired of being clean. This wasn’t tender or making love. It wasn’t soft touches and kisses to your breasts or slowly building you up.
It was Bucky Barnes fucking you against an alley wall.
“Fuck, are you always this wet or is it just for me?” he asked in awe, pulling one of your legs around his hip to shove his cock in deeper. “Do I have to chase anyone else off?”
You didn’t hear the words as you cried out. It felt so good to be taken like this. The rage, hurt, confusion, all of it molded into ecstasy. You never wanted it to end.
A light smack to your thigh pulled you back to the present.
“Tell. Me. You’re. Mine.” The gravel in his voice grew with each punctuated thrust.
“I’m yours,” you moaned, helpless to the onslaught and uncaring of the implication in the moment.
Your response encouraged him to move faster, kissing you deeply with a groan. His thrusts became almost punishing, like he had to feel you let go so he could come. It wouldn’t take much more with your orgasm building the way it was. You’d be surprised if his cock wasn’t coated in your wetness once you came.
“I-I’m gonna…” you trailed off.
“I know, pretty girl,” he grunted, gripping your chin again. “Be good and come for Daddy.”
Your body seized up before you exploded with pleasure. You struggled to hold yourself up as you trembled with bliss, your vision going white from the intensity. It was so much at once and you thought you might sob from how good it felt.
“Good girl. My good fucking girl,” he encouraged as he fucked you through it, the obscene sounds drowning out your whimpers. He tipped over the edge after a few more thrusts, coating your wet walls. “Fuck, take it.”
He managed to hold you up as he finished, panting as his head fell back. Your grip on his jacket loosened as the reality of the situation sank in, like a bucket of cold water being washed over you. Why did pleasure have to be short lived?
You fucked Bucky. You let Bucky fuck you. How could you cross that line? Just because Beth and your dad had done so, why did you think you could?
God, what were you going to tell them? That you were the biggest hypocrite alive? That you were no better than they were?
What goes around, comes around.
“Hey,” he whispered when he lifted his head, both of you still breathing heavily. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
“It’s not okay,” you whispered as he pulled out of you, your mixed release dripping down your thighs. You covered your face as he fixed your dress and himself. “Oh, my god.”
You flinched and dropped your hands when he pulled you away from the wall. His expression was unreadable as he shrugged his jacket off and slipped it over your shoulders. “It’s okay,” he said again.
“W-We can’t do that again,” you whispered as he bent down to retrieve your bag.
"Why not?" he asked, picking up some of the contents that fell out before he stood up.
"Because we can't," you said with no strength behind your words.
“We’re doing this again. You can’t avoid me or this,” he said, pointing between the two of you.
“Your daughter is marrying my dad. This whole thing is fucked up and-”
“And I said I'm tired of being good. I’m fucking tired of denying myself the chance to be happy,” he said firmly as he got in your face. “So are you. I know it."
You pulled the jacket tighter around you, not backing away as he stared at you. Did you shake from the sudden cold, your orgasm, or from the thought that he wasn’t about to let you go?
His gaze softened before he kissed your forehead. “Let’s get a cab and I’ll take you home. We can talk about it once you’ve rested.”
You let him take your hand, your feet moving on their own accord to follow him to the end of the alley. “I can get home on my own.”
You needed to be alone so you could figure out what to do about everything.
“You said you’re mine, didn’t you?” he said, smiling when you stopped. “And what kind of Daddy would I be if I didn’t take care of you?”
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Would love to explore more of this new pairing. 😏 Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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hxney-lemcn · 1 year
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Melting — Connor x gn! reader
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summery: Reader and Connor are two lovesick fools who bond over being touch starved.
tw: descriptions of anxiety
a/n: Should I make another part? Or like a series of one shots with these two? I'm tempted if anyone is interested.
wc: 1.8k
Master List
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“You comin old man?” I teased Hank as I stood beside his desk, Connor sitting across from him. I was going on break and I thought we’d all head out for lunch together like we normally did. 
“Nah, not today,” Hank waved me off. “Got more work than I know what to do with.” I frowned, glancing at Connor and assuming that meant he wouldn’t be able to join either. 
Having resigned myself to eating alone, I tapped Hank’s desk in acknowledgement, “Alright, I’ll be on my way then.” I smiled at the two and Connor seemed a bit conflicted, eyes darting between Hank and I. Deciding to ignore the odd mannerism, I went to turn away.
“Connor, why don’t you go with them,” Hank offered. “I’ll hold down the fort, but don’t forget to get me something.”
“Are you-” Connor was going to ask, eyebrows furrowed, but was quickly cut off.
“Yes!” Hank exclaimed. “Go before I change my mind.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant,” Connor thanked, a warm smile blessing his face. Whoever made him so handsome needed a raise. Well, Cyberlife is now controlled by androids but y’know what I mean. Connor’s warm gaze fell onto me and I swear my heart skipped a beat. I averted my eyes, his stare too intense for my poor heart. 
“C’mon,” I motioned him to follow me. He was out of his chair in less than a second, walking next to me and matching my pace. 
My nerves felt alight, not normally alone with the android. I tried to calm down my racing mind, scolding myself for not only thinking of my friend, but my coworker as such. I fiddled with the ring I wore, scolding myself for my inappropriate thoughts. But was it really so wrong to want to hold his hand? 
“Are you alright?” Connor asked, and I turned to face him, not realizing that he had just scanned me. “You are showing signs of anxiety.” His furrowed brow and concerned look never failed to make me melt. 
Having a topic to speak on, I felt myself calm slightly and nudged Connor lightly with my elbow, smiling lightly, “You know I’m an anxious person. But I’m good.”
His frown worsened, the hair that always fell out of place falling just a tad bit farther with the tilt of his head, “Is there anything I can do to help prevent it from happening?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know, I’m so used to it that I don’t even notice it much. That’s unless it gets really bad, but I’ve been getting better.” Connor pursed his lips, his concerned gaze swirled with frustration. “I mean being with people I know helps comfort me. And when it gets really bad, it helps if I can…kinda cling to them?” I finished in more of a questioning tone, hating the vulnerability it made me feel to admit that. I stared at the concrete as we continued to walk to the nearest fast food restaurant. 
“You can hold my hand if that would make you feel more comfortable,” Connor offered, and when I looked at him in shock, he had his hand extended out to me. My heart pounded faster. Immediately my mind started to romanticize the situation and I couldn’t stop it, even though I knew this had to be strictly platonic. There’s no way it wasn’t…
The kind smile he had turned to a frown, “Your anxiety is increasing…”
“Sorry,” I apologized for no reason really, I suppose for making him think I hate him? I suppose my anxiety really is increasing. “I’m just…I…I don’t mind, I haven’t really held hands with someone in a long time, or hugged, or…I’m rambling, sorry.”
His frown turned into an awkward smile, “You don’t have to apologize. I haven’t held anyone's hand before, so this is a new experience for me as well.” 
Squeezing my hands, I rubbed my right hand on my pants before reaching my hand out. Connor met my hand halfway and I hoped he ignored the sweat gathering on my palms once more. His hand was surprisingly warm, although I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, not to mention soft. Finally reaching the restaurant, Connor opened the door for me and I thanked him. 
He followed me as I went straight to the self-serve kiosk. It was busier than I was used to, and I didn’t even realize that I moved closer to the brown haired man that was also very handsome and very much holding my hand. We both ordered, and waited in line for our numbers to be called. I glanced over to Connor, only to find him already staring at me. 
“Are you scanning me again?” I joked lightly. 
“Even though we are in a crowded place, which seems to usually trigger your anxiety, your stress levels are surprisingly low,” Connor stated, confusion laced in his warm gaze.
“I’ve got you with me,” I replied without even thinking of the implications. Instead I just grinned at him, unaware of how he was becoming increasingly flustered. I glanced at the screen that showed off the order numbers, and noticed ours both were getting closer. 
“Excuse me,” Someone grunted, pushing past me. Which in turn caused me to press closer to Connor. 
Connor ran a diagnostic scan, wondering why he felt like his internal fans were going to explode. It came up all good, which led him to thinking about what Hank brought up earlier. 
“You haven’t noticed them touching you more lately?” Hank asked, raising an eyebrow.
Connor had noticed it, quite a bit actually. The small touches to his arm, the nudges, or even when they tried to rest their arm on his shoulder jokingly. He always looked at that last example fondly, especially when he was 6’ compared to their shorter height. 
“All their affection reads as platonic, does it not?” Connor asked, curious as ever. 
“You don’t see them hiding their laughter into my shoulder, do you?” Hank asked rhetorically. 
“No,” Connor replied anyway, led blinking yellow in thought. “So you’re saying they may have a romantic interest in me?”
Hank shrugged, clearly losing interest in the subject the more questions Connor asked obliviously, “I don’t know kid, why don’t you ask them yourself?”
Connor blinked back into reality as I called his name, his thirium pump seeming to beat faster as his name tumbled from my lips.
“Your number was called,” I said as I finally seemed to grab his attention, pushing him towards the counter. 
“R-right,” Connor stuttered lightly, embarrassed he was caught in such a daze. 
“Let’s get out of here,” I grumbled as we both got the food we ordered. 
“Of course,” Connor nodded, guiding me out of the crowded restaurant. Arm protectively wrapped around my shoulder. I didn’t mind being pressed into his side once more. My hand clung to his jacket as we continued to squeeze past people. Once we finally got outside, I let out a relieved breath, glad to be out of that packed room. 
“Would you like to eat outside?” Connor asked. It was a nice day, the warm sun beating down on the cool spring air. People bustled about, enjoying the nice turn of the weather.
“I don’t want Hank’s food to get cold,” I frowned, drawing away slightly from Connor’s side as his arm dropped to his side once more.
“I’m sure he would understand,” He replied.
I couldn’t help but laugh, “Is this the same Hank we’re talking about?”
Connor joined in on my laughter, “How about we drop it off first, to be safe.” I agreed, the walk back to the precinct much lighter than the earlier tension. Was it tension or just my anxiety? Who knows. 
I took in a deep breath as a small breeze blew past. I ate a fry, watching the flowers dance in the wind to a song only they could hear. The sounds of birds chirping, people talking, and Connor flipping a coin filled the air. 
“Is the food to your liking?” Connor asked, breaking the silence. 
I looked over to him, the coin firmly held between two fingers, and shrugged, “It’s alright. What you’d expect from fast food.” 
I loved watching Connor do his little coin tricks, it became a habit to soothe his nerves. It was interesting watching him gain his own habits, becoming his own person. I remember asking why he knew how to do coin tricks, only for him to explain it was to help him calibrate his software.
As I finished my lunch, I watched as the coin rolled over the back of his fingers. Flicking it to his other hand, only to roll it between his fingers. His movement was so smooth, fluid. I can only imagine the million ways I’d fumble and lose the quarter. 
“Do you want to try?” Connor asked, offering the coin to me. I broke out of my spaced out state and stared at him like an idiot. 
“If I tried I’d find a way to accidentally fling it into the ocean,” I joked with a bright smile. 
“The probability of you…oh, that was a joke,” Connor fumbled, and I noticed that his cheeks turned a light blue. Oh my god I didn’t know androids could blush! That’s actually really cool, and I wonder how that even works. 
I laughed lightly at his fumble, “It’s okay, Connor. Besides, I leave the coin tricks for the professionals.” I winked, and then immediately panicked. Why the hell did I wink? God I must’ve looked so lame, but…why was his blue blush more prominent? And why is it so pretty? 
Blue was a good color on him. I thought that when he wore his old outfit that cyberlife fitted him with, and I still think it now. I glanced at my watch, noticing our break was almost over. I let out a dramatic sigh and flopped onto his side, causing him to hold his arm out in confusion before placing it around me gently.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I don’t mean to  make you uncomfortable.” I was so comfortable with him that I didn’t even realize how this may be uncomfortable for him. It was so weird, because one minute I’d be overthinking our interactions, and then the next I wouldn’t be thinking at all. 
Before I could get up or continue to overthink, Connor spoke hurriedly, “It’s alright, you can lean on me if you’d like.” 
“We should probably get back to work,” I grumbled, leaning my head back on his shoulder. I tried to ignore the warmth that spread through my body at his warm touch. It was such a nice feeling, I was scared to grow used to it because I wasn’t sure if it’d always be available to me. 
“We have a few more minutes,” Connor murmured back, hearing his voice so close to my ear, slightly startling me. 
Calming a bit from the slight scare, I let out a soft hum, closing my eyes. Such a peaceful moment. If only it could last forever.
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kteezy997 · 2 months
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my best friend's sister//t.c.
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Warnings: smut, losing virginity, male receiving explicit oral sex, secret sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk
y/n had called Timothee, saying that there was an emergency and she needed him to come to her apartment right away. Naturally, he was quite worried. On the drive to her place, he hoped that she wasn't seriously hurt, as she was the younger sister of his best friend. He'd known her for years, even when she was still a teenager, and he cared for her deeply.
He arrived at her place just moments after the phone call, hurried to her apartment and knocked on the door.
"Hey, thank you so much for coming." she said upon opening the door and gesturing for him to come in.
She didn't seem to be hurt or even in any sort of panic, which did relieve him some.
"Are you okay? What's the emergency?" Timmy asked as he stepped into the apartment.
"Here, let's go to the living room to talk." she said, leading the way and sitting on the couch.
Timmy opted for a chair across from her, wondering why they were getting comfortable if there was something the matter. "So what's going on, y/n? You've got me worried over here."
Y/n had her hands on her lap, she sighed, "Okay, so there really is no emergency. But I did want to ask you something."
He frowned at her, "You wanted to ask me something? You couldn't just text me or tell me over the phone? You had me rush over here like you'd been stabbed." he shook his head slightly in disbelief.
She could sense the tiny bit of annoyance in his tone, and she genuinely felt bad. "I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't know of another way of getting you over here without Trent finding out.” She fiddled idly with her fingers, nervousness began to overwhelm her. "Okay, I'm just gonna say it: I want you to help me lose my virginity."
Timmy was stunned, didn't expect any part of that equation. She's a virgin? And she wants me to be the first? He couldn't believe it. Y/n had always been a cute, smart, and sweet girl. Surely, guys her age were nuts about her. And why on earth would she pick her brother's best friend to deflower her?
"I never would have guess that you hadn't had sex yet." was the first thought he said aloud.
"I know, and my friends won't stop giving me crap for it, they say I just need to do it, to just get it over with." she shrugged. "And I trust you, Timmy. I know that you care about me, and you’re really sweet and you’re protective of me, so I know that I'd feel safe."
She knew it was the nerves that were making her ramble, but she blushed as she thought of the next thing she would say to him, "I've kinda always had a little crush on you." she tucked a piece of her long hair behind her ear, "I want to do it with you."
"Me?” Timmy touched his chest, “Out of everyone you know, you picked your brother's best friend? Do you want Trent to kill me?"
She giggled, "No, of course not. The only way that he would ever find out would be if you told him. Because I'm not going to tell him. I wouldn’t tell anyone it was you. I'd just tell my friends it was some random guy." she waved her hand nonchalantly.
Timmy sighed, putting his chin in his hand, thinking the whole thing over and eventually saying, "I don't know, y/n. I like you, I do. I always did think you were cute, but don’t you think you're a little too young for me?”
"I'm twenty-two and you're twenty-eight, so you're really not that much older. We’re both adults here. Besides, I'm not asking you to marry me, or to even date me." She looked at him, then with a smirk she took her top off.
Timmy's eyes widened as he felt tension rise in his body. He cleared his throat, feeling hot as he took in the sight of her bareness in front of him.
"Look, I bought lingerie for the occasion." she announced, setting her shoulders back, showing her black, mesh bra off to him. Her nipples nearly popped out the top of the see through bra. "I think the bra is a little small, but do you like it?" she looked down at her bra, then up at Timmy who seemed to be at loss for words.
He swallowed hard, "Y-yes."
Y/n got up off the couch, kneeling down in front of him. She put her hands on his thighs, "May I kiss you?"
Timmy, hesitant to disrespect his friend, but so turned on by y/n, responded, "Do your worst."
She leaned forward, narrowing in on his lips with her eyes, she licked her own lips to moisten them.
Timmy felt a sense of excitement as he felt her lips meeting his. She kept her mouth closed and the kiss chaste for a moment, then her hand was on his jaw, and she parted her lips. He let his tongue slip in her mouth, and she opened wider for him. She moaned and they were fighting for dominance in the kiss.
He gave her a peck and lingered on her wet lips as he pulled away. As he looked at her after, he could see that her skin was flush, and her lips swollen.
She wasn't just Trent's little sister anymore. She was a beautiful, desirable woman before him. His eyes scanned down her face, her neck, down to her plump breasts, barely covered with the black mesh material. It was just then that he noticed mini embroidered black stars on her bra. The black material did little to conceal the color and hardness of her nipples.
"Can I... suck you off?" her eyes wandered down to the tent forming in his pants. "Please?"
Fuck, no girl had ever asked to suck my dick before. He nodded insistently, "Mm-hmm." he hummed his response.
Her fingers unzipped his jeans, and she pulled his boxers down to allow his cock to plop out. She giggled, "You're hard. And it's so big, Timmy." she carefully put her hand around the base, "Wow. So pretty." She kitten licked his thick, red tip before moaning softly as she took him in her mouth.
Timmy closed his eyes for a second, just trying to process what was happening. Was he really going to fuck Trent’s little sister? Damn, how was she so good at this?
He looked down at y/n, working her mouth on his cock like it was her job. Soft, sloppy sounds left her lips as she sucked him, bobbing her head like she really knew what she was doing. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” Timmy asked with a chuckle and his hand caressing her hair.
She let her lips pop off his cock, “I just watch a lot of porn.” she admitted with a grin. She licked her fingers, then let the saliva coat his length before she started to pump him with her hand.
Timmy relaxed, letting her jerk his cock.
She would gently squeeze his tip in her palm with each thrust, and she looked up at his face to watch him as he started to moan. “Am I doing a good job?” she asked, knowing the answer already.
“Yes, s’good.” he shuddered, biting his lip.
She smiled, then licked a strip on the underside of his cock. She kissed the tip, gently massaging his balls with her fingers as she put her lips around his cock once more. She suckled his cock, placing her hands on his lower stomach, letting them slide up under his shirt.
Timmy put his hands on her arms as she explored underneath his shirt. Somehow, she kept his dick in her mouth, still sucking. “You’re so amazing already, y/n.” he praised in a huffy breath.
“Mm.” she hummed around his cock, taking it in her hand as she took her mouth away, “So you’ll do it?!” she blurted. She bit her lip, waiting for his reply.
“Yes. Just pinky swear we won’t tell anybody.” Timmy declared, holding his pinky out to her.
Y/n grinned, and locked her pinky finger around his. “Do you wanna fuck me in my bed?” she asked, her brows raised.
“Fuck yeah.” he breathed out, letting her take him by the hand and lead the way.
Y/n took her pants off upon entering her bedroom, revealing the matching panties to her bra, the see through material leaving nothing to Timmy's imagination.
He wanted to ruin her. He wanted to take her innocence and own it. The best part was that no one outside the two of them would ever know a thing.
As if she read his mind, she said, "You can be as rough with me as you want to. I'll let you know if it's too much."
"Noted." he answered, shoving her on the bed.
Y/n gasped as her body hit the bed in a rush. She grinned, eager to take him.
Timmy out his hands on either side of her ass, then tucked his fingers into the sides of her panties to pull them down.
She wiggled her butt in anticipation. She felt his fingers between her folds, and she shuddered.
"So wet. You knew I would do this for you, didn't you? You've been planning this." he said, plainly.
Then, before she could even reply, she heard his jeans hit the floor. She inhaled a sharp breath as he grabbed her hips. He climbed onto the bed, she felt his weight on her legs as he straddled them, then the tip of his cock was at her hole. She exhaled as he pushed his length into her.
"Fuck." Timmy muttered under his breath, taking his cock out just to put it right back in again.
He bottomed out, and she yelped softly in pain.
"You good?" he asked, his hands resting on her lower back, "Want me to stop?"
"No! The pain will subside, I know it will. Just please, don't stop." y/n begged.
Timmy went on thrusting his cock into her unbelievably tight pussy, gently kneading her ass to relieve some tension within her body.
She whimpered and moaned, but soon, there were cries of pleasure.
He took her pleasant sounds as a sign to work his hips faster, and seep deeper into her. He felt as if his cock was in a vice grip, he groaned, shook his head, and held y/n down so he could fuck her hard.
It was all she could do to lay there and take him. She gripped the sheets and whined as his cock carved into her pussy. It was everything she had wished for when it came to her first time, and even more.
"Yes, I'm yours to destroy, Timothee!" she cried as he rocked into her roughly.
Timmy grabbed her hair, pulling her upward onto all fours, he leaned forward, putting his cheek to hers as she gasped in surprise. "You're all mine, that's right. No man gets to feel this perfect, tight pussy but me. And it's our secret." With that, he kissed her on the cheek.
@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen
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d34dlysinner · 5 months
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Back at it again with my war crimes shenanigans.
Kings + Lucifer (n anyone else who'd fit, not sure) with a MC who's lacking several braincells despite being a rather smart person. The type who'd touch a burning stove out of pure curiosity, or put tide pods in a microwave to see the reaction. Empty headed but not lacking intelligence it's just gotta be coaxed strangled out. They get themself into some serious ahh danger due to head empty y'know the usual 'I fucked around and now I'm finding out but hey, MY CURIOSITY IS SATIATED' cliché lmaoooo.
Oml, thanks for the ask😭 (minor spoilers chapter 4 ending)
Minors DNI
You were messing around on the streets when you heard someone call out your name. You looked up in the direction of voice and saw an angel smiling down at you. Not the kind smile of course. It was one of those sadistic smiles that said: "I'll actually blow up in a second and you'll die with me."
You normally would run around trying to avoid the angel, but for some reason your brain couldn't register that you're in danger. In fact, you were even more curious what angel blood (of an angel weaker than a seraph) would do.
So all you did was stand and watch up with a calm expression present on your features.
Satan ran up to you and pulled you away and ran with you through some alleys in Gehenna where he knew it'll be hard for angels to fly in.
He looked down at your panting frame and checked if you were alright.
"We're you frozen in fear or just curious to see what would happen?", he asked as he remembers how you stood there without any fear present on your face. When you didn't give him an answer and looked down he knew it was the latter option to his question.
"You made a promise to help us in Hell... You should keep it. Sitri, for now you shall stick to MC's side until she's out of this... curious mindset.", Satan said to Sitri who just made his way over to where you two were.
He wasn't going to scold you, but he needed you to be careful.
Mammon made hands rise up from the floor to shield you from the angel. Those golden hands shielded your entire frame, only disappearing a few seconds after the explosion.
When the hands opened up, you saw the normal blue sky and the red painted ground around you. You made your way over to Mammon and were dragged into a big hug.
"Master... I don't know why you just stood there, but don't do that again."
You felt a bit guilty because of how worried he became. You wanted to apologise, bit were interrupted by Bimet scolding you.
"How could you make his majesty so worried. How could you just stand there without even a reaction of fear in your face. You should be grateful that his Majesty blocked the blast.", the ginger demon rambled on.
He was only stopped when Mammon told him that he scolded you enough.
Beelzebub somehow got you away from that blast. You didn't really know what happened because it went by so fast.
"You should try and fight back or run whenever there's an angel.", Beelzebub said.
He wasn't scolding you, but he did think that it would've been a waste if a snack like you did something like this.
"Oh... and you should sometimes ignore that voice in your head. Stay curious.", he said. He understood what you tried to do. Or why you did it. In fact he has heard Bael rant many times about how you let your curiosity get the better of you. Beelzebub was at least happy that he was on time with saving you... This time...
Leviathan dragged you into his coffin and you both managed to get away from the blast.
You wanted to thank him for saving you, but stopped yourself from doing so the moment he shot an angry glance at you.
"Are you insane? Why did you just stand there instead of running?", he started and didn't stop.
"When I told you that you were dangerous factor to Hell and when I locked you up in my coffin I should've done so.", he said. He didn't really register what he said at that moment, but you did. He was talking about that moment where you met him and that he almost killed you by locking you up in his coffin.
He wanted to continue scolding you and being angry, but it stopped the moment his words fully registered and when he saw tears stream down your face.
He really didn't mean it like that, but he did understand that to you it may have been a bad memory. He embraced you.
"I didn't mean to say that. I just need you to be more careful in general. I've see the stupid things you did out of curiosity, but atleast try to be safe.", he said.
Lucifer, a fallen angel, had more tolerance to the angel's blood than most demons had. Also him having an entire kingdom full with healers helped him in what he did.
He just took the blast for you.
To say that he was angry at yet another wound, that he may or may not be able to heal, was an understatement.
But his anger did vanish a bit when he saw you tear up out of shock, guilt and worry.
"You should continue crying. It's the only thing keeping you safe from me.", he said.
Whether he meant that sexual or not, no one knows. Lucifer's words are just as mysterious as his actions.
He would be healed in no time. Searching for you only to see you getting scolded by Marbas. He didn't stop Marbas.
"His majesty blocked you. You should be very grateful. Also, what would you have doenif you were hit? We are healers yes, but we don't create miracles. You are just like those demons in Abaddon. The ones that give us extra work."
Marbas was angry, but not only because of the explosion incident. Also because of the amount of times you let your intrusive thoughts win. Which results in him and the other nobles of Paradise Lost to heal you.
You coming to Paradise Lost to heal was on par with the amount of times Dantalian came. It maybe is an exaggeration, but that didn't mean that you didn't frequent that place to get healed. At first they blamed it on you being a human, but that thought broke the moment you told Buer that you just wanted to see what would happen if you touched a hot pan.
He, the others and Lucifer were worried.
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norrizzandpia · 7 months
Text
Grow As We Go (Hurt Me Once Part 2) (OP81)
Summary: Maybe they didn’t miss the childhood best friends to lovers trope?
Warnings: angst, but a happy ending 🤭🤭
Note: Awww i loved this little series also SIDE NOTE just to point it out Hurt Me Once was Y/n speaking to Oscar but this song Grow As We Go is Oscar speaking to Y/n 🧡🧡
You say there’s so much you don’t know. You need to go and find yourself. You say you’d rather be alone cause you think you won’t find it tied to someone else. Oh, who said it’s true that the growing only happens on your own? They don’t know me and you.
His footsteps stayed frozen outside his front door, a sunken feeling in his stomach. He didn’t even know how he got home, disassociating during the drive after Y/n slammed the door on his face. Oscar knew he had to be feeling the worst kinds of sadness, but, as his eyes stayed on the door in front of him, he felt nothing.
Y/n was gone. He tried to get that through his head, but it still seemed outrageous because that was never supposed to happen for them in his mind. They were supposed to be with each other, be together, grow with the other throughout the entirety of their lives. They were Y/n and Oscar. No one knew them like he did, no one understood them like he did.
Or so he thought.
Conflicting, self-deprecating thoughts rushed in his mind as his hand smacked against the wood, trying to gain balance as he got lost in himself.
A creak was heard before his body was flying forward, losing the balance he had been trying to maintain. He stumbled forward, almost falling face down onto his family’s wood flooring whilst his mother yelped out at the sudden movement.
Once settled, and that means Oscar was leaning against the wall looking disheveled and defeated, his mother came up to bring his face in her hands.
“Osc? What happened?” She said in a worried tone, although she had an inkling as to why her son couldn’t even look her in the eye.
With his gaze trained on the floor, he whispered, “She shut the door on me, mom. She left me.”
Nicole had been mad at him, sure, but the sight of his darkened eyes and trembling lips had her maternal side overcoming the bitter one. Sweeping him in her arms, she gently shushed him as he began to choke up and cry.
“It was my fault. This was my fault. I could’ve stopped it. If I would’ve just told her how much I loved her, she would be happy. I would be happy. We would be happy.” He rambled, short inhales of breath at random times as he tried to sort through his pain.
Nicole nodded her head in understanding, “I know, Osc. I know, but you can’t beat yourself up over this. There’s no point.”
He pulled away to look into her eyes, the sight of his bloodshot ones making Nicole wince, “But, there is a point! It’s her! It’s Y/n! Of course, there’s a point because I love her!”
He shoved his head in his hands as his mother put a hand on his arm, the voices in his head quieting as he spoke softly, “Why couldn’t she just grow next to me? Why does she think being alone is what’s holding her back from changing?”
Nicole shook her head, “I don’t know, Osc, but this might just be what she thinks is best for her right now. You need to respect that.”
“Of course, I will, but it still hurts to know that she thinks I’m holding her back.”
As he began to make his way toward the stairs, Nicole bit on her lip as she hesitantly asked, “What are going to do about Lily?”
She watched as he stopped, his back to her as he thought over his answer. Taking a deep breath, Oscar began walking again whilst saying, “I’ve tried to mask my feelings for Y/n for so long. It’s not fair to anyone to continue doing it. Especially Lily.”
I don’t think you have to leave. If to change is what you need, you can change right next to me. When you’re high, I’ll take the lows. You can ebb and I can flow, and we’ll take it slow. And grow as we go. Grow as we go.
Her mind got away from her as she stood in the empty coffee shop. Flashes of Oscar and his face right as she shut the door on him haunted her at every moment. Part of her wishes she had just taken what he was telling her, taken the fact that he loved her and ran with it, but the other part of her, the scared part, wondered if doing so would ensure her heartbreak.
This was the kind of back and forth she had to listen to everyday, all day. She wasn’t doing any growing. She wasn’t changing or evolving in the way she thought she would without him. All she was doing was missing him, whether he loved her or not be damned.
“Oscar, black coffee with milk!” The booming voice of the barista interrupted her thoughts as her brain caught up with the name and order. It was either the biggest, cruelest coincidence or Oscar was in the same coffee shop as her.
With the same name and same order she had continuously gotten him for years prior, her eyes searched around the room. Excluding the baristas and her, there was only one other person in the shop, standing in the middle of the store. She met his eyes, his already being on hers, as they both did a once over of each other.
He was too struck to move, his body simply standing limply as he stared back at her. The coffee he had paid for getting cold by the second, he watched as she walked up to him slowly.
“Osc?” She said quietly.
The nickname was like a knife to the stomach as it brought him back to all the times she had said that very nickname while laughing at his joke, but, now, she says it timidly, hesitantly, nervously.
“Y/n,” He breathed out, sounding relieved. Almost as if he hadn’t been surviving without her.
He knew that to be true, but she didn’t and he wanted to keep it that way.
“How are you? How is everyone?” She asked, a small smile on her face as she remembered his beloved family.
He nodded slowly, “Good. They’re good.”
She smiled bigger, something that warmed his heart, “And you? How are you?”
His eyes left hers, trying to hide the utter sadness he had been feeling without her, “I’m- uh, I-”
She looked down, nodding, “I get it. Me too.”
His head tilted, “I miss you, Y/n. If you need to change and do your thing, I’m all for it. I want to support you through that. This is something we can do together and I want to try. I know you do too. If changing is still what you need, do it next to me.”
His quiet whispers provided the privacy they needed to have this conversation as she willed herself to fight the strong feelings for the man in front of her off.
“I don’t know, Oscar. I was being honest that night when I said I couldn’t do what I needed to do with you in my life.” She countered even though that sentence wasn’t fully true. This time apart had proven one thing: she couldn’t get him off her mind long enough to even think about herself.
“Look at me and tell me you don’t miss me too. Look at me and tell me you don’t wonder what we could be.” He pressed, wanting nothing more than to tilt her head toward his and force her to look him in the eye.
She shook her head as the barista called her name and she swiftly picked up her order. Before she could fully get passed him, he latched onto her arm and turned her around, saying, “Lily and I are done.”
She nodded, shrugging off his hold and making her way toward the door, “Sorry to hear.”
He watched her frame walk away through the window, muttering to himself, “That’s not something to be sorry about.”
You won’t be the only one. I am unfinished. I’ve got so much left to learn. I don’t know how this river runs, but I’d like the company through every twist and turn. Oh, who said it’s true that the growing only happens on your own? They don’t know me and you. You don’t ever have to leave. If to change is what you need, you can change right next to me. When you’re high, I’ll take the lows. You can ebb and I can flow and we’ll take it slow, and grow as we go. Grow as we go.
His call came in at 2 AM. Thankfully, she was already up, thinking of him and all they could’ve been. Her shaky fingers pressed the green button as the call connected and she put it to her ear.
“Y/n?” He said brokenly.
“Osc?” She whispered back, knowing whatever was happening, he was incredibly vulnerable.
“I’m sorry I called you. I know you’re trying to move on from me and I’m probably making it worse, but what am I supposed to do without my best friend? You’ve been the biggest part of my life for the whole thing. I can’t just forget about you like you’re asking me to.” He said, putting his heart in her hands.
“Oscar…” She didn’t know what to say because, frankly, she was struggling with the same thing. It was proving to be harder than she anticipated, moving on from him and the irrevocable love she held for him.
“You’re not the only one. I’m 22 just like you. I have so much to learn and so much to grow from. We’re both in the same spot. We can do it together. Why are you fighting us so hard?” He challenged, knowing him loving her back wasn’t the problem.
She sighed, “Because, Osc, what if we don’t work out? What if we date and then break up? Then what?”
“We stay best friends.” He said assertively.
She scoffed, “Come on, Oscar. Be real here. We wouldn’t and you know it. We would break up and never speak again because, then, we’d be ex’s, not ex-best friends.”
He breathed slowly on the other side of the phone, clearly conflicted by her arguments, “But, Y/n, I’ll always love you, whether we’re ex’s or ex-best friends. You don’t ever have to leave. Just give it a shot. Give us a shot.”
She met him with the silence, “I have to go, Oscar. I have homework I need to finish.”
Her abrupt change of tone told him he had found what was wrong. She was scared. Scared to get hurt: scared to put herself in an even more vulnerable position; scared to give him her heart.
“It’s 2 A-” He was cut off when she hung up on him, effectively shutting him out again.
I don't know who we'll become. I can't promise it's not written in the stars. But I believe that when it's done, we're gonna see that it was better that we grew up together. Tell me you don't wanna leave cause if change is what you need, you can change right next to me. When you're high, I'll take the lows. You can ebb and I can flow. We'll take it slow and grow as we go.
He was fed up, done acting like they weren’t just tip toeing around each other.
They loved each other, that much was clear. Being scared, he understood that, but he wasn’t about to let her throw the idea of them away and him with it.
It was Friday night as he sat and stared at his phone, willing himself to call her and convince her of the fact that she shouldn’t be scared when it came to him. However, when the dial sound went out and he was met with her voicemail, it hit him.
It was Friday night. The night they would go out to the movies, just them two, and wander back to the other’s house. He couldn’t dare to dwell on the fact that he had ruined that tradition by bringing Lily and he, sure as hell, couldn’t dwell on the fact that Y/n had probably been going back there every week on Friday in the months they’d been apart.
His car wasn’t fast enough. His foot on the pedal, down to the floor, as he swerved through traffic. Yeah, it was incredibly dangerous, but he was a professional driver and he was in love, so what the hell.
Finally, after ages, Oscar pulled up to the infamous theater. He sat in his car as he looked toward the spot they always met and, sure enough, her y/h/c hair was blowing in the wind as she stared at the doors. His heart plummeted. This place had been one of happiness and falling in love, but this whole time he had allowed her to make it into a symbol of their separation, of his mistakes.
Jumping out his car, Oscar’s legs spanned the concrete quickly. He watched as her peripheral vision picked up on his chaotic form, her eyes glancing up to meet his before contorting in confusion.
When he reached her, she continued to look at him in a perplexed way as she said, “What are you doing here?”
He shook his head as if it would organize the thoughts bouncing around the walls of his head, “You can’t be here without me.”
Her forehead wrinkled further, confusion deepening, “What?”
He sat down beside her, on the bench where he had realized he loved her in a way that wasn’t friendly years ago, “You can’t be here without me. We’ve made too many memories here together to have them be tarnished by the shit that I’ve pulled.”
“Oscar-” She started, but he interrupted her.
“No, Y/n, let me finish. I don’t know what’s in store for us or what the future holds when it comes to me and you. But, I do know that if we continue to live our lives without each other, we’ll both regret it. Even if we do fall out of love, which would actually have to be you falling out of love with because I won’t ever stop loving you, we would’ve given us a shot and no ‘what ifs’ would be able to linger. Don’t you see what I’m trying to say? It would be so much better if we just stuck together and found out.” He took her hands in his as he looked at her, giving her everything he had, “Tell me you don’t want to leave. Tell me that what you said that night about needing to fall out of love with me isn’t true anymore. Tell me that you love me too. Because, I know, we can find a rhythm. We can find a way to be together while giving you the space to be your own person. That’s a healthy relationship, Y/n. We can be that. I know we can. It’s just a matter if you care about us as much as I do.”
She smiled at him, her head cocking as she whispered, “Are you done?”
He nodded, “What I was going to say before you interrupted me was that I don’t come here to tarnish the happy memories. I come here to remember the happy memories. I’m here every week because when I sit here, I think about the times when things were simpler, when we weren’t fully aware of the fact that we loved each other. As much as I miss those times, I wouldn’t trade them for the feelings I felt when you first told me you loved me that night. This place is a symbol of the way we’ve grown together and it’s helped me to understand that we’ve been growing right next to each other this whole time. Being scared isn’t an option anymore because you’ve had my heart this whole time. Yeah, there were some bumps in the road, but you’ve kept it safe and protected it for the most part. I’m all in with you and shoving you away doesn’t make sense anymore.”
He stared down at her, his smile slowly growing on his face as she finished, “Of course, I don’t want to leave.”
He breathed out a sigh before pulling her into his arms and whispering how happy he was that she had given him another chance.
“I love you,” He said in her ear while she breathed in his scent.
The two pulled away far enough that Oscar could look her in the eyes and silently ask her if he could kiss her. When all she did was smile back at him, he leaned in and reminded her of the reasons why she needed to stay.
Why she wanted to stay.
The couple sat there that way, tangled in each others’ arms, for the hours to come. Kissing lightly and basking in the beginning of their journey together, Oscar thanked whatever God that was out there that she had found love in him enough to agree to grow as they go.
Grow as we go.
Grow as we go.
Grow as we go.
End.
Tags: @sunnytkm23 @luvrrish @oosnapitskat @mehrmonga @f1enthusiastsstuff @piastrisize @au-ghosttype @sopheeg @cxcewg @strawberrychita @loveforyeonjun
Ps. the comment on Hurt Me Once where it was like “i thought education would hurt me but here we are” I CACKLED AND LOLED that was too good fr im sorry to whoever posted that i would tag you but im too lazy to go look after spending hours on this 🥲
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