#i CANT KEEP FUCKING LIVING LIKE THIS

[constant-state-of-self-discovery]

Anybody know an equal alternative to anxiety meds for someone who just found out it would change their fucking life but can't afford fuck-all much less a dr appt or prescription????

#anxiety #psychiatry #anti psychiatry #-that tag is mainly bc yall would probably know the most #im not anti myself its actually my special interest #but i respect and understand yall #and i realize my incredibly good treatment at the mental facility was sadly not the usual case #i need help please #i cant keep fucking living like this #im afraid to talk to people #im afraid to talk at all for fear of saying the wrong thing #fuck i rarely even add commentary out of fear #im afraid to go outside #im afraid of everything

[hazeday]

Currently holding back tears after being awake for the past 2 hrs literally just laying in pain that kept me awake got like 4 hours of sleep thinking about how I still haven't been able to get health insurance and possibly won't be able to until next year to do anything about it. And like how I probably wouldn't be in this much pain without any kind of treatment or even knowing exactly what the source of it is or without insurance etc etc if my dad simply had the courtesy to die when I was still a kid. And also that if my last kinda effort to get it by July falls through I won't be able to start hormones like I planned to, which again, would've been able to do years and years ago were it not for my dad existing.

Or maybe I'm just close to staring my cycle and being overdramatic that's probably it.

#if someone could come give me the old yeller treatment id appreciate it #i cant keep fucking living like this

[kxmpfflieger]

hear me out

#artists on tumblr #red baron 2008 #the red baron #i want to fuck this guy so bad #im sorry i cant keep living like this

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

#theres no peace #every little thing reminds me we are poor #seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time #im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly #the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job #and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support #and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money #because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live #its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin #time #cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for #sorry for the ranting i cant sleep #truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin #more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful #i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it #i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things #spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income #not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it

[hecksupremechips]

Ever think about Date’s view on family and how that relates to his character? When Mizuki asks him to define family, he just awkwardly offers that its like being blood related to someone. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and Mizukis, but like, he literally had no idea what a real family looks like. He’s an orphan, a man who grew up with no family and no name, but he doesn’t know that yet. He has no memory of his past, no way of knowing if there’s someone out there waiting for him to come home, if he even had a place to call home. His only frame of reference for a family is Mizuki and her parents. Deep down he knows it’s not right, not loving, but it fits the mold of a nuclear family, man and woman, blood related, so that must be what family is. When he’s asked to take in Mizuki, he’s absolutely clueless because he literally has zero frame of reference for how a child is supposed to be cared for. He puts distance between them because this isn’t his place, he doesn’t have the right to love this child as his own because he isn’t the real dad. There’s no place for someone like him in a family. And it’s baffling to him to hear that Mizuki not only loves him, she needs him because he is her family. Date believes he’s a nobody, just a sad, lonely man with no name who absolutely does not deserve this kind of love. But he has it anyway because he chooses it, he makes something that neither he nor Mizuki have ever had before. HES HOME

#aitsf #ai the somnium files #kaname date #mizuki date #just crying about the date family for the millionth time nothing new #also i just had this realization that like date literally had absolutely ZERO clue what he was doing #cuz its not like he remembers his own childhood so he cant use that as a frame of reference for how to treat his own child #and yet despite this he does a much better job than renju and shoko ever did just because he like. actually loves mizuki lol #honestly kinda fucking insane that date was asked to take care of her instead of hitomi #like renju has a choice between his long term friend who hes really close with and who he knows has lots of experience in childcare #versus his silly friend who lives in the smallest apartment with tons of debt and has literally never seen a baby before #then again thats probably why he didnt choose hitomi cuz he probably wanted to keep mizuki separate from the family he actually cares about #also for meme purposes its just like date is like wow renju youre literally the worst dad ever #and renju is like well okay hotshot if you think its so easy then how about you raise my daughter asshole #and date is like okie and does a significantly better job at it #i love kaname date so fucking much you guys will never understand what we have 😩

[killrspringlock]

i cannot believe that i just got over my obsession with a masked antihero (moon knight) and then miguel o’fuckinhara shows up on my front doorstep.

#spiderverse #moonknight #miguel o'hara #oscar issac #moon knight #masked men #marc spector #what the fuck goin on #i cant keep living like this #(i actually can) #(i definitely knew) #i love me a man with big shoulders #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse miguel o’hara #moon knight marc #marvel

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im about to unpack my candles and yall Know im rubbing my lil fly hands together in delight

#ohohoho it is candle time its Candle Time #all of my sniffs! freed from their cardboard prison! #i just keep tapping my fingertips together while muttering 'candle time' and chuckling like some villain's deranged minion #MY THINGS MY STUFF THEY ARE ALL EMERGING #my closet has so much in it! and still there is Space! huzzah! #fuck i love this closet. already it has my clothes my hats my bags my shoes AND THERE IS STILL SO MUCH MORE SPACE #what can i store! blankets! towels! miscellaneous Things! #absolutely unprompted #this weekend we will be bolting my shelves to the wall so i can place my Books and Trinkets #ohhh my trinkets... too long have they been in the dark... unadmired and shunned.... #and i'll be getting stuff to put up my whiteboard and my blackboards and my posters and my pictures and and and #THERE WILL BE NAUGHT A SPARE INCH OF SPACE UPON MY WALLS!!! #and when my new bed arrives i can put my glow stars on the ceiling! #*kronk voice* oh yeah. its all comin together #also i was putting my shoes on the fancy built-in closet shoe rack #and it entertained me Greatly to put my saddle shoes next to my little block heeled shoes #as i was putting them next to each other i felt very gender... #got my boots got my saddle shoes got my fancy heel shoes hell yeah hell yeah #anyway i cant wait to have things hanging Everywhere! #i havent lived in an Owned House since i was like. 5 so this is fun! #I CAN PAINT MY ROOM IF I SO DESIRE!!! #what color! blue! pink! green! black! a color per wall perhaps! i can get new curtains! #this fool is jingling less miserably than normal! #this progression will backtrack once i start job hunting here! its going to suck so fucking much! i do not want to be employed! #but perhaps it will score me friends... or at least workplace acquaintances... #it will also backtrack once my stepdad gets a dog! he wants a golden retriever! i Do Not Want That Ever! #why a golden retriever... theyre so slobbery and they shed and they feel weird and theyre Loud.... #eugh. im not going to enjoy that. at all. why not a german shepherd? or a doberman? something with short fur at least? #sigh...

[katsukikitten]

Going from having everyone squeezing in at the dinner table and your dinner table always being open to friends or whatever to thinking about skipping dinner because it's just you is probably the most painful thing I've ever dealt with in my adult life.

#kitten chats 🖤🐈‍⬛ #and why is the sun down why has it fucking been down #why does everything piss me off or make me cry I CANT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS

[droogiesanddiscourse]

"Hellfire."

Pairing: Monsignor John Pruitt x F!Reader

Summary: You are called first to receive everlasting life from the angel's blood during Easter Vigil.

Warnings: Spoilers for Episode 6 of Midnight Mass and all the content that comes with it. Language. Taking some liberties with how the angel's blood works uhhh hehe. Millie who's that AU. Going off of the stream of consciousness / dream-like writing I am trying so hard to stay out of my head and just write what comes.

"Brothers and sisters,” Monsignor Pruitt concludes. “On this most holy night I come to you with good news. Not only the good news of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who arose to forgive us of our sins after three days in the tomb. But, also the resurrection of ourselves."

He clasps his hands together in makeshift prayer, eyes sparkling an unfamiliar orange glow that you've never seen before. That of a feral black cat's eyes bouncing back light. The ones that hunt on the outpost of the island, all teeth and heat and hunger and sex and wild and and and--

Visions of nocturnal holiness.

"I ask you. Trust in me. And God will reward your loyalty heavily. Know that I would not ask of the ultimate sacrifice of your life if I did not have utmost faith in our God for the miracle he is about to bestow tonight."

The silence within the church is deafening. Not a soul rises for his offer, parishioners stunned to their seats. His eyes scan, searching for a familiar face. Finally focusing on yours.

“Please. [“____”]," his voice like liquid honey calls to you, echoing through the church. "I call upon you to take the plunge first, my sweet child. Show the good people of Crockett Island that there is nothing to fear. That there is paradise waiting for us all tonight."

He leaves his pulpit, descending down the steps towards you. His arm reaches out, using his slender fingers to beckon you to him with a "come hither" motion. White vestments flowing, covering his human visage as he moves, billowing out like an angel's wings.

Devils were once just fallen angels. Symbols of purity be damned.

He notices your trepidation.

"One moment of pain, perhaps. But an eternity of youth and love and worship in His name. We have been given a tremendous gift, sister ["____"]. Be brave.”

Beverly Keene remained tucked in the upper corner of the church, stirring the choice of death for this evening. She's always been a witch in your eyes; now the harsh comparison rings true more than ever as she concocts a deadly potion of sickeningly sweet liquid.

The smell reminds you of too hot summers and running against the shoreline as the waves lap against your ankles and buying popsicles at the general store and sticky raspberry juice running between your fingers. Familiar memories and tastes intermingled with rat poison.

“And so Jesus rose from the tomb, trampling down death. As will we. I am with you, and you are with me. There is nothing to fear."

Don't drink the kool-aid, the old adage goes.

But you wonder how vanilla and raspberry taste mixed together.

Jonestown redux is standing before you, with his hand outstretched for you to take; his body backlit by the illumination of hundreds of candles. You look up at him through your lashes, lips slightly parted. Your eyebrows upturned and eyes reposed.

"Monsignor. Forgive me, but I cannot," you swallow hard. Back yourself from that cliff, you have one leg dangling over the edge now! "For I have not taken communion as my sins have been too weighty, too difficult to ever be forgiven. I believe I did not deserve the body and blood of Christ at that time, which is selfish of me. Forgive me.”

John almost considers this for a moment, his thick eyebrows furrowing together as he stares down at you.

"There is no resurrection for me. I will die,” you state bluntly. Your words are finally registering. 

Back away back away, make distance between the cliff.

But he smiles, against your expectations. A tight lipped smile, his eyes kissing at the corners when his cheeks raise. Missed by the miracle of reversed age, not reaching the crows feet that reveal only when he's truly happy.

"My angel. You've taken more than enough of my seed in your womb, and down your throat. The blessing is already inside you."

His hand grazes your cheek, and Hellfire reigns down as the finality of his reveal sets in across the room. Hot and prickling at the back of your neck. High pitched buzzing of bees in your ears. Whore of Babylon comes to Crockett Island. Mary Magdalene weeps. Hundreds of eyes descend upon your form, fragile and ready to break at a moment's notice.

Hell has a special place reserved for you for tasting the most unholy fruits. You wear guilt like a halo.

John positions his index fingers and thumb underneath your chin, tilting it upwards. Your eyes dart away, unable to face him. For sure your very skin would burst into flames if you stared too long.

"Look at me," he demands. "Look at me, angel. Do not be ashamed.”

Oh, you’re more than familiar with this position.

Your eyes tilt back, big and yearning and scared yet wanting more. More of John, more of his smell on your bedsheets, more of his fingers in your mouth more of the salty bitter taste of his skin more breaking the boundaries between heaven and hell more more more more flesh more blood no sin no death no guilt.

Hell has a special place reserved for you in due time.

But real hell is living without him. You slip your hand into his, rising from the pew.

The church is silent, conversations about your unforgivable sin now hushed to murmurs. Somewhere in the distance you hear the gentle song of night crickets that intermingle with your delicate footsteps across decades old wood. A resounding creak and moan of the floorboards that echoes through the small church that makes it become an entity of its own, ready to swallow you whole.

Someone is crying, quietly muffled pathetically behind a cloth. A woman blesses herself using the sign of the cross as you pass.

A dead girl walking, and this is the sound of your funeral march.

Your toes bump into the first step leading up to the chancel. Guiding you by your waist, John spins you to face the congregation. Expressions of the crowd are unreadable.

Are you Joan of Arc or a witch about to be burned at the stake?

Blasphemy, blasphemy stood before your friends, family, acquaintances.

A light. The vision of John blocks you away from their watchful eyes as he stands before you, cupping your face within his hands. Your eyes lock together. Gently, he presses a chaste kiss to the center of your forehead. Lips just barely ghosting over your flesh. You tremble before him.

Bev stands behind you, both arms outstretched forward, bent at the elbow. You’re smart enough to realize she’s ready to catch you for when you involuntarily start seizing, your body putting up its final fight against the poison coursing through its veins.

Life. Death. Rise. 

A sob starts in your larynx, unable to burst fully to the surface The warmth of his hands removed from your face, now reaching for Bev's as he takes the small plastic solo cup of juice from hers into his.

"I am with you," he whispers as he holds the cup up to your lips. "As you walk through the valley of the shadow of death I am with you, and you will come out on the other side anew. Whole. Pure as a reward for your devotion to Him."

Raspberry and vanilla threaten to break the seal of your lips, the cup tapped against it. His other hand snakes his way up your back, weaving his fingers within your hair. The digits tug against your locks slightly, tilting your head back.

"Open."

Saliva gathers at the back of your throat.

You can't, you can't, you can't.

You cannot dare to lose the chance to miss another one of those too hot summer days where the children of Crockett island throw their books haphazardly into their backpacks basking in their first hours of summer vacation and the salty water clinging to your hair making it curly and sticky raspberry juice dripping between your fingers–

But oh the visions of him with and the way he whimpers into your neck when he thrusts into you, his hot mouth on your pulse point, the way his hand pin down your wrists forcing you to stay still. Murmured praises and bedroom hymns whispered as the moonlight coats both of your bodies in a ghostly blue glow. Was it truly ever living without him? No more hiding no more secrets you are his and he is yours. A boundary death cannot even cross–eternity is a beautiful thing to imagine.

A tear slips out of your eye, rolling down your cheek. The pad of John’s thumb gently rubs it away. Sympathy for the condemned.

"Drink."

And you do.

#father paul hill x reader #monsignor john pruitt x reader #midnight mass #hamfam #father paul x reader #monsignor pruitt x reader #hamish linklater x reader #hamish linklater imagine #Caitlin loses their damn mind over the fucking hot ass priest cant keep living like this I am literally so insane and feral #please send help #Caitlin go to hell challenge (real) #a/n: rat poison supposedly tastes like vanilla so that is where the reference comes from if that was confusing at all

[hella1975]

you ever have a fic get you in such a chokehold you start pacing your room and talking to yourself

#THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY #BURN IT ALL DOWN BY DOROTHYCANFLY ON AO3 THIS IS GENUINELY ONE OF MY TOP 5 FICS OF ALL TIME EVER #IT'S GOT THE BEST DABI CHARACTERISATION IVE EVER COME ACROSS IT'S GOT REALLY WELL WRITTEN DABIHAWKS #THAT FITS BOTH OF THEM LIKE THEY'RE MEAN AS HELL ABOUT IT AT FIRST #IT'S GOT STUPIDLY DEVOTED TOUYA-SHOUTO IT'S GOT PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER TOUYA #IT'S GOT MENTAL ANGST WRITTEN LIKE A DREAM THE WRITING IN GENERAL IS INSANE #IT'S ACTION PACKED BUT DONE WELL SO THAT IT'S NOT TEDIOUS IT'S FUNNY IT'S GOT TWISTS #IT'S KEEPING ME ON MY TOES I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING OR HOW FAR THE AUTHOR IS WILLING TO GO #IVE LITERALLY READ 300K WORDS IN TWO DAYS AT THIS POINT LIKE I AM ABSOLUTELY FINISHING THIS TONIGHT #WHAT THE FUCK EVEN AM I GONNA DO WITH MYSELF AFTER THIS #EVERY NEW THING THAT HAPPENS LITERALLY HAS ME GETTING UP TO PACE ABOUT #I CLOCKED OUT OF MY MUM TELLING ME OFF EARLIER BC I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC #DO U KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS BASO JUST SIGNED MY DEATH WARRANT BUT I DIDNT CARE #losing my goddamn mind respectfully <3 if anyone has read this pls yell with me about it #and if anyone knows mha and wants a fic rec PLEASE let it be this one it's my fav mha fic ever and ive read A LOT #it gets quite smutty in the middle but if that's not ur thing the author tws very well and u can kinda just scroll #so that u still get the important character developments without it being just pure smut lol #god this FIC. holding it in my fucking fist and squeezing the everloving life out of it im going INSANE #i cant remember the last time a fic got me this way im literally giggling about it all #HE FOUND A REASON TO LIVE AGAIN THEY TOOK THIS MANGLED BLOODY BOY AND SAID WE LOVE YOU #YOU ARE GOOD YOU CAN STAY YOU CAN REST NOW WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND HE CHOSE THEM! HE CHOSE THEM! #OVER HIS REVENGE AND HIS RAGE HE CHOSE THEM! IM GOING TO BE VIOLENTLY SICK #like the author LETS DABI BE A CUNT. the first chunk of the fic he's actively not a good person #and his coping mechanisms are shot to shit and we WATCH HIM GROW FROM THAT i have cried several times over the most mundane shit #goddddddddDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAKSJFJKAGSFIUAHGJKAKG #mha #fic rec

[spicyicymeloncat]

Crying about mao mao and how I’m never going to see that incredibly traumatised cat again

#WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE TAGS BUTTON #WHY DO THEY KEEP CHANGING EVERYTHING #BUT I STILL CANT USE DOUBLE QUOTATIONS MARKS IN MY TAGS #Sorry that was quite unrelated #mao mao was such a good show #the mc literally lived through life having the goofiest time and it was bc he had extreme daddy issues #actually the whole show was so freaking goofy but at the same time the main characters had like the darkest backstories and were mega coping #as a found family #and I loved them so much #why did the capitalists take this from us #not allowed nice things istg #i’m gonna start crying #mao mao heroes of pure heart #mmhoph #mao mao

[snekdood]

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else #you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should #change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting #affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree #with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them #or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation. #the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this. #and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough. #you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you #an authoritarian. #i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont #set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU #FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police #n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be. #you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all. #what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you #throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh. #accelerationists should never be taken seriously.

[kieshartzishere]

"Average person has glass embedded in their body 2 times in their lifetime" factoid is actually just a statistical error, averag person has glass embedded in their body 0 times in their lifetime. OP, who finds randomly gets glass (or someyimes ceramic) in their skin 4 times a year and has successfully pulled them all out of their body no matter the number or size by themselves, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Can I NOT be Glass Georg world.

#I be in my house havibg a time and notice a small bit of pain on a certain toe a couple of times too many #i joke its glass #i check #its GLASS #I cant FUCKING ESCAPE IT #ONE TIME I WAS GOING YO MY LIVING ROOM AND THOUGHT TO MYSELF “ahaha imagine glass randomly stabs me again here” #I do a little whimsical dance that has me landing and spinning on a heel and it was on guess what #thats right. gLASS. #FUCK SAKE. #aND THATS ONLY TWO STORIES OF HOE GLASS KEEPS JUST BEING IN MY BODY. #rant post #BUT LIKE KINDA FUNNY ON MY SUFFERING

[chibi-scone]

Still can’t wrap my head around how Izzy shooting Ed was supposed to symbolize him “breaking up with Blackbeard” and have them go through that whole thing at the beginning of the season, to have Izzy be the one who tells Ed to follow what makes him happy, and have Izzy’s whole arc be about who he is without Blackbeard just for the finale to turn around and say that Izzy had to die because he was half of Blackbeard and that Ed couldn’t fully let go of Blackbeard otherwise.

#by all accounts it doesn't make sense #Izzy stopped caring about Blackbeard when he stopped following Ed’s orders and started going with the crew #when he told Ed he wouldn’t kill him #he had his figurative death when he tried to shoot himself and Blackbeard had his literal death when the crew killed him #when he’s fucking doing his whole speech saying that piracy isn’t about glory or fame it’s about the community it’s about the crew #the fact that they said that they just didn’t know what else to do with Izzy’s arc so dying was the best conclusion is INSANE to me #like im so hung up on this #blackbeard WAS us #YEAH WAS #dont get me started on how izzy used his fk dying breath to take the blame for everything just protecting others til the very end uh #izzy hands #him telling ed that the crew loves him and then he just....leaves #bitch the crew LOVED YOU #the whole “blackbeard was us i needed him” does gut me a little bit tho ngl like oof can yall stop being tragic for 2secs 😔 #anywayyyyy sorry if im being rly negative i dont want to be truly im just upset #it’s like I understand what they were going for but when you put it next to everything that’s happened it’s like ….idk #“izzy keeps the story of Blackbeard alive by being alive!!” and ed doesnt ??? #hes literally the face of Blackbeard #so he gets to change and grow and become something else and live as that but izzy cant? #you cannot kill a whole by just getting rid of half #izzy was moving past Blackbeard i just what the fuck is UP #“its cause ed is the mc and izzy is just the side character there to be a device for his growth” #ok well then dont have that characters whole motivation be about actualizing himself as his own person for a whole season #ofmd critical #ofmd

[lambjock]

i have too many thoughts on the deleted jackienat scene for a girl who's supposed to be enjoying her birthday lol. i think at the root of it all, it's highly likely that when the actresses breathed life into the characters, and scenes got improvised, some things just stopped making sense for characters to do. including good things, like with jackie's 'i love you' to shauna! and i think this is the case for natalie looking at jackie with hatred before leaving her out in the cold. maybe at one point in her early stages of characterization it made sense, but clearly the people on the show didn't think that way anymore at some point, hence the cut. also ngl people taking this deleted scene, which for all we know didn't even make it into the final script, as some sort of 'gotchu' for jackienat enjoyers ( romantic or otherwise ) is weird as hell to me. like, it was removed for a reason.

#my posts. #yellowjackets #im tired and its my birthday so maybe this doesnt make much sense but #i have lots of thoughts i cant stop thinking abt this scene #a mix of good and bad tbh #but mostly watching people act as if this completely destroys jackienat is hilarious to some degree #since a huge part of their appeal has always been how similiar they are. that's what jackienat is founded on #and with that similarity comes a hatred especially since both girls have a self loathing streak #so regardless whether people view this as a huge characterization moment for nat or not doesn't change this #people seem to forget how much natalie genuinely hated lottie and was jealous of her as well! it doesn't mean she loved her any less #natalie at her core is a teenage girl like the rest of them. she has flaws and pettiness and does things she regrets. a *lot* #but on the other hand she'd do anything for travis. that's who she lives for. and the only one who helped her save him was jackie #jackie might've stolen him away for the night but the others were gonna take him away forever #which is something natalie would hate more than jackie fucking him. hell in the show she even says she could care less about the sex #she just wanted travis to be *alright.* #had natalie been in the cabin when jackie was calling the girls out for what they did last night you KNOW she would've sided with her #would she have cared about the highschool drama between shauna and jackie? who knows. #but no matter her personal feelings on jackie they had a mutual hatred and disgust for what happened during doomcoming #and i think that would've mattered more to nat at the time. in a swarm of angry feral teenagers the only one she could trust then was jacki #of course these are just my personal opinions which im purposefully keeping brief lol #but like. i just have too many thoughts on this it would take an essay to iron them out so here's this i guess!

[sebek-zigbolt]

gueh, its all igni

#i #dont care #IDIA GOT 2 NEW ASSETS #pretends it doesnt bother me #for a guy who loves diasomnia i sure do hate A LOT of the choices in their chapter #hrmmmm #bothers me how technology beating magic is such a.. central theme of twst #like... why would i care... its a magic academy... obv u like magic if u like the games aesthetics and like... STORY idk #maybe i just hate everything igni stands for #and esp orthos AI ass #Whatevr theres no silver or sebek to keep my attention so im barely paying attention until malleus appears #Magic is like #part of u and nature and life esp for diasomnia and their fae ass #no the shota robot will beat the dragon FUCK OFFFFFF #Waits for my twst fan card to b revocked for who I hate #like if u wanted sth abt how its human to die and u cant live eternally and its ok to grieve but Humanity/Reality is good regardless #Ai is not... a good narrative choice for that #and like ikk magic is kinda innate but also they just had to make it a SKILL you TRAIN so it just gives... my ai can beat ur skill ^_^ #throws up #I wanttt more malleuss #I love how evil he is and talks slowly but lets actuallyyy focus on him and his themes maybe next time #ON ONE HAND #i want more sebek content #on the other? I think we have had enough character assassination last chs so im ok ^_^ #yea you go get the malleus egg its not like im insane abt malleus more than any other person or anything #ill just stand here when shit goes down🧍 #I feel so loved and appreciated #im not desperate for it #and I have so much emotional intelligence ^_^ #gurl