#i ONLY have school people on instagram (and i only post art dumps and the occasional selfie there anyway
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Hello, long time follower just on other platforms and I love your work. I am currently getting my Masters in Comics and Graphic Novels, and do tell me if this an inappropriate question but how much do you make? Like a month doing comics and art? Also what do you do on a day to day basis? I'm worried about my future after I graduate.
Thank you so much! This is a great question, and I wish more people would be candid about answering it because I'd like creators to demand more money. This will be a very long post! Keep reading if you're interested. MASSIVE info dump below.
I think earnings in comics and books can look wildly different for almost every creator, and it depends on a lot of things. With that in mind, I make a slightly different amount every year. I view my finances mostly through page rates, contracted projects, and passive-ish income. Because I'm terrible at math, I'm just going to tell you how much I make per contracted projects, plus some relevant information in terms of Life Stuff. This will be very long, and I will highlight some important details that people maybe don't like to talk about very much.
Please also bear in mind that I live in Minnesota, away from all my major publishers and editors who are situated on the coasts, so my cost of living is much more manageable.
Background: Building a Foundation (2012-2018)
I graduated from college in 2012 and lived with my parents until 2018. I did not have to pay rent or worry about food, so I got to save up a lot of money to invest in developing as an artist–paying for printing zines, making merch, travel to conventions, table costs, and secure hotel accommodations. This helped enormously, and I would not have been able to spend six years developing my portfolio and connecting with comics peers and professionals without my parents. They were very supportive, even if they had no idea that I was developing professionally as an artist (LOL, they're very proud of me now, but they truly just thought I was being a weird internet gremlin the whole time). They're also not wealthy people by any means. My parents immigrated to the US in their 20s as refugees with absolutely no money and one baby (it me, I am the baby), but they each became pretty successful small-business owners in their own right and were able to help put me through school with minimal debt, even through the financial crisis in the late aughts.
I started making art in 2012-ish as well, but only semi-professionally, and barely on purpose. I was employed full-time in a non-art job between 2013 and 2018 at a local non-profit that specialized in pediatric therapy. I occupied a role as their front office person/corporate assistant. I made about 40k a year at that job, with benefits, and I made a negligible amount of money doing art and making comics. I should also note that throughout this time, I was working 40 hours a week at my day job, commuting between 2-4 hours a day depending on the weather (my commute was an hour for each direction in good weather and up to three hours if it snowed), and then working on comics for 3-4 hours in the evening, every evening. This meant that I would frequently be working anywhere between 65-85 hours a week for five years, and I do not recommend this! I burned out pretty bad! I didn't go to art school or learn about comics, either, so I felt like I had to spend time building my portfolio to make up for lost time. I didn't even know I wanted to make comics until maybe two years after I graduated from undergrad.
I did manage to build a nice portfolio and connect with people who were making the sort of work I liked to make, so the portfolio-building did help. I posted regularly online in different platforms and steadily grew an audience over the years via Tumblr (heyyy!) Instagram (which I personally loathe), Patreon (stressful, but necessary and also getting more comfortable to use!), and Twitter (which I have very mixed feelings about, but I'll miss it if it dies). I did a few short comics with writers whose work I admired. The Fresh Romance Anthology in 2015 was my first major published work, and it was with writer Marguerite Bennett, who remains one of my absolute favorite people. I was so inexperienced at the time, and she would check in with me to make sure I got paid for my work, and then she would follow up with everyone responsible if I was not properly compensated. Not everybody is this on-the-ball about making sure their colleagues are treated well, and she absolutely set the bar for me going forward.
Doing It For Real + Some Numbers (2018-2021)
In 2018, I put together a pitch document for The Magic Fish (if you'd like to see my pitch document, here is a Dropbox link to it! It's just a book report for a book that doesn't exist yet, and I hope you find it helpful if you need it), shopped around for an agent, and found one I'm very happy with (Kate McKean at Morhaim! She's amazing! She runs a newsletter where she gives you the lowdown on how the publishing industry works, so if you're interested in Books, you can check out her writing over at Agents and Books). Then my agent shopped the pitch around to editors and publishers, and Random House Graphic won out. Also, every time she negotiates a contract for me in my home market (the US), she gets 15% cut, which is entirely worth it to me. She does so much. It's incredible.
Random House Graphic's offer wound up being for two books at $45k each, with pretty standard royalty rates, I think around 10% in general, though there are stipulations around royalties that I can't remember off the top of my head (and also bear in mind that you do not earn royalties until your book sales have earned out your advance, and not all published books earn out). To me, this is a lot of money! BUT the graphic novel took two full years to make, so that $45k needed to last me until 2020, which is not livable if you're on you're own. Also, the advance is paid out in chunks at certain milestones of project completion. I'd get a few thousand at a time for the script, another few for the thumbnails, more for the inks, and on and on until the book is done. I would not start to get paid for the second book until I started working on it.
Earlier in 2018, I'd moved in with my partner, so we managed paying the bills and groceries together. Luckily for me, I had also completed a full tarot deck as a separate personal art project to help build my confidence as an illustrator, and my agent sold the tarot deck project (The Star Spinner Tarot) to a different publisher for a $15k advance, so I had some extra wiggle room in 2018. I quit my day job because this was a rare instance in which a book deal provided me with enough money to live on making art, with the caveat that I shared financial responsibilities with my partner. By this time, my Patreon, which I started back in 2015 I think, was also earning anywhere between $800-$1000 a month, which was really great semi-passive income. I'd post process shots and WIPs a couple times a week, and that really helped from month to month.
In 2020, The Magic Fish was published and got a lot of really lovely press. It debuted on the Indie Best-Seller list, and it got pretty popular in schools and libraries. Suddenly, my responsibilities expanded to also being a public speaker (side note: if you make a book about topics of some academic interest, make a generic powerpoint presentation about it now! I'm so serious!). I stopped tabling at conventions (the pandemic), but I would also be paid for speaking gigs in between. I'm not an enormously in-demand public speaker, so I usually asked for an honorarium of about $500 from schools and institutions for online appearances, though I'm about to ask for a lot more because it's cutting into a lot of the time I need to make comics and hit my deadlines. As people are more comfortable meeting in person, I usually ask for a speaking fee of at least $1500, and it must be after they've already taken care of my travel and accommodations. I'm not very well versed in the standards for speaking fees for debut authors, so this might not be standard! It's just my best estimation of the value of my time and effort for that instance.
Speaking of comics and deadlines, I sometimes take on smaller projects for DC (you might have seen these) and Marvel (shhh it's not been announced yet), and the page rates for those, as they've paid me, are usually as follows: $90 per page for writing ($45 for plotting and $45 for scripting), $160 for pencils per page, and $90 for inking per page. I've never colored or lettered, so I don't know those rates. I do regularly talk to other writers and artists, and the rates for writers are all over the place and seem to depend on whether you've signed an exclusive contract with either of those companies. I don't know what a contracted penciller or inker is paid by them, or if that's even a thing that happens? I also sometimes do comics cover work, and I usually charge between $1200 and $1500. I tend to charge a bit more for covers these days because I personally don't like doing covers all that much.
Starting to Reap the Benefits Maybe? (2021-2022)
In 2021, I started getting royalty checks for both Star Spinner Tarot and The Magic Fish. These payments will vary wildly, and I think they will naturally peter off as time goes on, and I'll need to make more books and projects. In both cases, I was surprised. I think at one point a random check hit my bank account for like $20k and I nearly fainted, but some of the other royalty checks will be much more modest. This process of getting paid is also immensely eased by having a good agent! I cannot stress this enough!
Then both the Star Spinner Tarot and The Magic Fish got foreign language licenses, and those come with small advances of their own, each between $2k and $3k, from what I can recall, with varying royalty rates depending on the publisher who acquired those rights. Those royalty rates are, in my limited experience, more modest than my American publisher's, come to around 7% or 8%. The Star Spinner Tarot got an official French edition, and The Magic Fish has been licensed for publication in Italian, French, Korean, Brazilian Portuguese, and Spanish so far.
Since 2021, I've also signed on to draw two more graphic novels for other people, and my agent is able to demand higher advances for me, even when I'm only doing the drawing part.
My Day-to-Day
I think that's about as comprehensive as I can be about numbers. On a daily basis, my schedule depends on whether I'm writing or drawing. Graphic novels are long projects. I'll be writing for months at a time and then drawing for even more months or even years after. I spend a lot of time answering emails for speaking requests, and my agent will sometimes pass along emails about legitimate project requests (another advantage of having an agent is I don't have to sift through scam emails or shady collaborators). I spend way more time answering emails and trying to iron out my calendar than I'd like.
I'm currently working on my second graphic novel for Random House Graphic, and I'm extremely excited about it.
Another thing I've learned is that I like to bounce between projects, but they have to be between a paid project and a personal project. If I'm juggling paid projects, I get overwhelmed and stressed. If I can work on a paid project and then also make personal art, I can feel some relief and maintain a positive relationship with my work. If you can ever get to a point where you can manage to do this, I highly recommend it. I never want to hate making comics, and this balance of personal-to-paid projects helps me keep loving the work.
Closing Thoughts
My only hesitation in talking candidly about all this is that I'm not sure my professional trajectory is applicable for most people. I think I've had a uniquely positive experience once I got off the ground, and I know most people's journeys are very much not this smooth. In a lot of ways, I got very lucky. And along the way I had help, especially before I got my foot firmly in the door. I don't think I make stratospherically high amounts of money, but I know this is still an atypically stable amount for a lot of artists and authors. And even so, I anticipate that some years will be better or worse than others.
Obviously, I couldn’t cover absolutely everything, but my hope is that this will be a good starting point for you to figure out what you need to plan for the future. Best of luck! Thank you for your question! I’m sorry it’s so long.
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Welcome to my blog: Spore Crossed! This is *suposed* to be my art blog, however sometimes I get really anxious and don't post anything for like...years. I'm slowly overcoming that curve, however! And I really hope to post more in the future! (it's a dream I have and hope to complete)
Unfortunately on my part, this is not the greatest attempt at making a 'meet the artist' post, and I feel like it was rushed. However, despite my perfectionist nature, I'll post it anyway!
So, a couple of things I want to establish on my pinned post (my first one hehe) is that I do NOT condone any sort of hatred on my blog. This is my blog and I have the right to block anyone. If I see any racism, homophobia, transphobia, and hate of any kind to myself or anyone else, I will not hesitate to block and report if needs be.
Negativity out of the way, Bonjour! You may call me Mena! As stated in my bio, this is my art blog (along with other things that have inspired me throughout the years). I mostly post about my ocs and my projects I'm working on, and I'm slowly working up the courage to post more content.
Currently I'm working on two projects:
Enigma: my main story I created years ago with help from my good friend @delphi-3. It's a strange story -honestly- where the characters themselves are the representation of phobias (aka: Thalassophobia - fear of the ocean). It was originally supposed to be a small project for myself to help me get through some really tough times in my life, but now I want to create it into a comic series and a physical book. This project goes through some heavy topics, but I try to keep it lighthearted as it's meant for a teenage audience. The main character struggles with his identity as he tries to make sense of the world around him and who he is, all the while there's some darkness lurking under the shadows that he's a puppet of, but not aware. (kinda corny sounding ik but believe me it wouldn't be worth working on it for 4+ years now if it was really bad)
Suneater: this is a project I've been working on myself and I'm not quite sure exactly where it's going. I'm leaning more towards comic or written book if I have the motivation to continue it. It's about aliens and cowboys...more importantly: alien cowboys. It's for a more mature audience that can handle gore and dark themes, and alien cowboys. I don't frequently have a lot of art, but I adore the characters and wish to develop them more. This story is about the main character being 'hollow' and how he's a sacrifice to raise a dead god. And if I didn't say this enough: alien cowboys :D
For both of these stories, as I post the characters, I will also tag their names so if you wish to know more about a certain character you can jump right to them.
Also! Feel free to ask me anything about me or my characters if you have questions! I don't bite, I promise. The only thing I ask is that you aren't too explicit with the asks. It makes me uncomfortable.
Please ask to use my art and also do not repost my art without my permission. I know people are going to be mean and do it anyway, but if you do, be warned that I will come to haunt you and chase you up the stairs at night.
(I'm not worthy of fan art but if you'd like to draw my characters feel free. Please tag me so I can see it! I'll cry from joy)
Unless asked for: constructive criticism is not allowed. References usually come from Pinterest and the links will be posted to the original artist or photography in the post.
Some fandoms I'm in:
Legend of Zelda
Fullmetal Alchemist
Twisted Wonderland
Anything Shakespeare (that I've read honestly)
The Belgariad (it's dead ik)
Fire Emblem - mainly three houses
Subnautica
I'm still a beginning artist and I'm going to school to learn how to be better, so I'll also dump some of the projects I'm working on here since it is my art blog.
Instagram: ʂ℘ơཞɛ ƈཞơʂʂɛɖ (@spore_crossed_inc) | Instagram profile
Thanks for reading! You're so kind have a frog as my appreciation:
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15 Questions for 15 Mutuals
Thank you @pixelatedpretties for tagging me in yours! You’ve definitely given me a reason to actually post :) ❤️
Are you named after anyone? No, i’m not named after anyone. But my name was picking by my grandmother.
When was the last time you cried? About a week ago. Tis a common thing in my life.
Do you have kids? Nope.
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really. I used to a lot when I was younger, which is why Sarcastic Sims was my first simblr / instagram name.
What sports do you play / have played? Numerous. I played a lot of soccer and have many trophies from swimming. I dabbled a little in boxing too. But swimming is something I am keen to get back into.
What is the first thing you notice about other people? Mannerism. Things they like and don’t like, things they do. Common phrases. Idk a lot of small things, i’m fairly observational, and my autism makes me good at reading people.
Scary movies or happy endings? Both but i lean towards happier things. Scary movies, like done good original ones that aren’t just never ending sequels can be really inspirational.
Any special talents? I am an artist, I have some certificates and I was 🤏 this close into getting my art into the main art gallery of where I live.
Where were you born? Australia. Still live here.
What are your hobbies? This is my info dump section. I like a lot of things, but for years I have had a select few special interest. Of course there’s the sims, i’ve had it since a kid and I many hours in those games. Dungeons and Dragons! I am a DM, Dungeon Master, and i run my own homebrew (which means I made it myself), campaign. I won’t talk too much about it otherwise I won’t stop. Art ofc, but I don’t do as much as I would like to. And recently, reading. I’m currently reading Jurassic Park - very different from the film if you were wondering.
Do you have any pets? Yep! two dogs! Technically more if you count my boyfriends pets, but I myself only have two dogs.
How tall are you? I am barely 5”3
Favourite subject in school? I did two art classes and a film class. They would be my favourite, as I got to be creative. But I also like creative writing assignments in english. And I was partially a science nerd.
Dream Job? No idea. I have changed my ideal job many times over the years. I used to want to be an architect, or a museum technician, or an archeologist, or a teacher. As of right now I have no idea.
Eye colour? Dark Brown. A little boring to some, since it’s all just the same colour of brown, but I like them.
I was expecting a more intense last question, but i’m glad it was a simple one to answer. Now i have to figure out if i know enough people to tag…
*edit* turns out i can’t remember that many people off the top off my head
@sunshinepixels | @charliesimss | @pastlivesandtwistedart | @sirenglow | @wanderer-sims | @simooksims | @neondrops | @spnmoosejerk | @walkingdeadlightsimmer | @simmingbeauty |
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Teacher au Phone/Social media hc
-Emerald would have the longest passcode on the face of the planet 😭 she says it’s because she doesn’t want people snooping in her business but in actuality she wanted to be able to use her entire families birthdays in it 🥺4 peoples bdays is kinda tedious to put in all time so luckily she has a Face ID. I hc her as v tech savvy so she has the aesthetic widgets, they’re color coded and themed. Her phone case is clear with polaroids of her favorite people in the back. Intensely keeps Snapchat streaks (even though I really don’t know what those are, the cool kids in high school used to do it) but only posts consistently on Instagram. Half of their high school follows her. Posts lots of selfies and she loves a good photo dump. If her and he family go on vacation, best believe that at least four 15 slide photo dumps will come from that. She definitely knows that her parents stalk her on Instagram so she posts the more wild party pics on her snap. Texts the family group chat every night to say that she loves them even when she’s sleeping in a room a few feet away from them 🥺
-Kendall changed all her socials to private immediately after one of her students asked her about her weekend that she had posted on insta 😬 Has a bulky ass phone case and a screen protector. Insists on having her kids locations services being on at all times. She does the mom thing where she cross posts things from her Facebook onto Instagram. And the pictures are the worst pics of her kids that they’ve ever seen and they’re cropped weird so a part of their body is cut off from the picture every time 😭 Likes all of her kids Instagram posts and comments mom shit like “look at you and your friends 😁 so cute!”
-Synthia has Em do the widget thing for on her phone so she has a cutesy pastel theme 🥰 Her ringtone switches between wind chimes and soft nature sounds. Before she has kids she posts lots of cute selfies and the most adorable photos of her partners (think Synthias actual insta) Her kids are the cutest little babies in the world, trust and believe that she habitually posts throwback pictures of them as they get older
-Gia refuses to let go of their android from 8 years ago, even though both Kendall and Synth has iPhones 😭 it’s on its last leg by the time the kids get old enough for their own phones so to make it easier on the family phone plan, they get a an iphone. But only like an iPhone 5s 🥲 that shit is cracked and it gets hot when they run certain apps for two long. Mostly posts pictures of their art interspersed with pics of their family 🥺 takes forever to answer texts unless it’s their family and will send everyone else to voicemail. Literally checks their phone to see if it’s from their babies, if it is they’ll answer in .02 seconds, if it isn’t they’ll dismiss the text and it’s iffy on whether or not they’ll go back to answer it later😭 Ringer is always off, one of those people who hates the sound. Puts that shit on vibrate and turns it up so it will literally shake a table.
-Jasper’s phone background is him and his mama from her birthday dinner 🥺 rarely posts on any socials. When he does, he’s more of a insta and twitter person. Retweets those corny positivity accounts. He’s such a sweetheart but he’s also really lame, so he’ll randomly post one if his parents with a caption of “love you ❤️.” Three separate posts every parents day and birthday for Ken, Gi, and Synth. Lovingly clowns Emerald on insta for her birthday with the worst photos of her he could find but the most heartfelt caption 🥺 when her location sharing is on he will track his mommy while she’s running errands and text her asking if she swing back home so he can go with her. Just have to add that his new crush Ezra will post after soccer pics of just the two of them with lowkey flirty captions 🤭
These are v spot on I feel 😭Gia with an android is killing me fr 😭😭 also Jasper checking everyone’s locations all the time is so cute 😭 also also I think it’s so cute that u like my aus enough to take time to think about it and write these cute lil hcs so ty 🥹🥹💗💗
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okay gonna do some anon asks/answers in batches cause I have so many and I don’t wanna clog up people’s dashes..
these are all about the beard/break up
yeah I really doubt she’ll keep posting from L’s house even if she did before the break up was official but must have “happened”. that house is like his office we’ve seen him working there many times in the past couple of years; planning the first AFHF, doing vocal training with helene, and latest recording his thank you speech and doing radio interviews when FITF went #1. I assume he’ll keep using it that way. but it’ll be interesting to see once she starts posting again where she’ll be..
asjfhkajsfk even if she did dump him the first time around she came back like? so who looks more the fool lol. and yeah tbh most of her stans have only been pretending to be fans of louis. because them being together would mean larry couldn’t be a thing. and most of them are harries. see also this ask:
it’s pathetic is what it is. if we are to believe the official narrative that they broke up because long-distance was too hard and they’re blaming him? he has a career he’s been doing this for the entirety of their “relationship” so who isn’t commiting here.. (also the sexist shit I’ve seen about him being an asshole for “leaving her at 30 and without a ring” like.. women are not worthless because they’re unmarried jfc) but yeah as i answered above it’s not about louis it’s about them being mad about him not being kept straight by being with her. (also sidenote but they way her stans who a few years back wouldn’t touch the subject of “his son” with a ten foot pole are suddenly all about dad louis.. same reason)
no I definitely not a fan. like.. I don’t care about her as an influencer or whatever. and I’m looking forward to not keeping up with her once the final pieces of the puzzle falls into place like will she still walk both dogs, is she completely done working for L etc etc. Hopefully we’ll know soon..
tbh the most annoying thing about her is her stans who like to tell themselves that the minimal amount of work we’ve seen her do (sponsored posts, pr trips etc) would cover even an inch of the spending we’ve seen from her. a few instagram stories about an armani perfume or some sportswear brand isn’t gonna pay for all the wildly expensive shit she wears. and then there’s this gem:
girl attends one (1) fashion show…omg move over anna wintour 😂
like they’re living in some alternate reality she can’t even write a clever instagram caption to save her life lol
I doubt she’s had another job while working for L and that rumour about her attenting the royal college of art doesn’t hold water either. she’s been jetting all over the world all year there’s no way she’d be able to keep up with fashion school at that level at the same time. so we can assume L has been paying her well enough to keep her in endless balenciaga leather jackets over the years.
#i don't normally care enough to talk about her#now that's it's over some questions about the situation are quite relevant#so doing a mass answer under a cut to spare my mutuals/followers lol#$#anon asks
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“Super Massive” Im 6 feet tall and 270 like yeah I have the body of somebody on strong antipsychotics but im not “TLC Documentary“ big im just broad and dumpy and it is the result of a mix between disordered eating (bulimia/EDNOES restrictive subtype/BED always cycling between at least one of them) and meds I was barely even overweight according to BMI before I got on the meds im on they made me gain 100lbs in 3 months but also saved my life so when given the choice between being deemed unfuckable by internet strangers and constantly actively fighting urges to end my life by doing things like stepping into traffic or swiping my dads painkillers to mix with my bezos before a bath hoping Id just pass out and die because i got the big sad in the middle of a thursday afternoon provoked by absolutely nothing other than the feeling that I should be dead im choosing the lesser of two evils, and I work a physically active job double shifts twice a week where my weight doesnt impede me at all like the amount of medication Im on is going to become a serious health problem long before I live to see the negative consequences of being overweight other than petty shit like not being able to buy cheap fast fashion from asia or oh-so-clever farmers pointing out my size like I don’t attend my own dr’s appointments and their observation will come as some sort of devastating revelation. Also the only people who feel the need to bully people about their weight after high school are either fat themselves and projecting or ana-chans frustrated by the idea that somebody fatter than them is happier than them. U rnt going to hurt my feelings with that minions picture either, all I think of when I see it was what a fun day that was, are u so obsessed with being instagram-polished at all times that you think a picture of being silly with my best friend is embarrassing as if I didn’t post the pic myself. Also I have plenty of less flattering photos that WEREN’T taken as an obvious joke yall need to get better at cyberbullying because the lack of effort is hurting my feelings a little am I not worth harassing properly or something? Rip on my art, make fun of my writing, comment on my horrible skin in my selfies, read all my gross over-sharing and trauma-dumping and tell me it was my fault, yall are just recycling shit at this point and im getting bored.
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tumblr is the only place where no one i know irl follows me . i am free
#girls from school who bullied me in elementary follow my tiktok#my mom follows my twitter#i ONLY have school people on instagram (and i only post art dumps and the occasional selfie there anyway#)
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you are now listening to graceland too by phoebe bridgers! ( yeosang x f!reader )
fluff, burnout!yeosang, bassist!yeosang, writer!reader, childhood friends 2 lovers but also idiots 2 lovers, yeosang and reader run away, seongjoong are engaged, wooyoung + yeonjun have a band, there is only one bed, yeosang has a nose ring, it’s implied reader has a bad relationship with her mother, wc is 3.1k
NOTE: happy yeosang day! this was a doozy to write, but i hope you all enjoy it! its based off one of my favourite phoebe bridgers songs! :)
There’s a mural on the wall of the hotel lobby. It’s a warm toned painting of a forest, with a hint of a bright blue sky peeking out from the top of the trees. There’s a moose standing at the forefront of the mural, and a little fox sleeping on a rock towards the bottom, surrounded by colourful flowers and leaves.
The mural confused you, if you were being honest. The hotel you worked the night audit at was situated in the busy downtown centre of the city you lived in, and there were barely any forests for miles around the city - let alone any wildlife, like moose or foxes. Hongjoong said it was to make guests feel more ‘in touch with nature’ and to help people forget about the ‘problems of the real world’, while Yeosang claimed it was ‘just another scam in the tourist trap’.
You, on the other hand, was sure the mural was put there to torture you. You would spend nights having staring contests with the moose (which, to your surprise, you always lost), or you would spend hours on Google with Hongjoong trying to find out what species of fox the sleeping fox was (you were sure it was a cape fox, while Hongjoong swore up and down that it was a gray fox). The blue sky between the trees teased you; a reminder that most of your days were spent in the library at your university, or in this dimly lit lobby.
Sometimes, it felt like the only time you saw the sunshine was when you were with Yeosang.
Despite the occasional burnout and the lack of seeing sun most days, you didn’t mind the job. You were always more of a night person, and your classes were always later in the day so you did manage to pull in some sleep. Due to the late hours, you usually only dealt with customers in the first hour or two of your shift, and most of that was just directing confused Ubereats delivery people and pretty Tinder dates to hallways and rooms. It was the perfect job to work on your writing, and get your school work out of the way without listening to your mother cry about how you’re throwing your life away like your sister.
Plus, you could think of a hundred worse people to spend the night shift with than the nighttime valet, Hongjoong. Hongjoong often kept you occupied with his latest reforms and art projects, and stories about his fiancee, Seonghwa & their friend, Yunho (who he kept insisting you needed to go on a date with).
“Your emo boy is coming.”
Well, you could think of ninety-nine worse people to spend the night shift with than Hongjoong, who sat next to you at the check-in desk.
You scoff, “He’s not my emo boy.” You mumble, glancing at the street entrance to see Yeosang walk in with an ice coffee on hand.
Despite your words, Kang Yeosang was your person (you wouldn’t quite use the term ‘emo boy’, even if it did fit), and he had been since your family moved in next door to his family when you two were children. Although your friendship lately had been reduced to these late night meetings while you two were on break on your respective graveyard shifts (you at the hotel and Yeosang at the convenience store down the block, of course) and occasional meetings in the garden when you were both running errands for your families, you still considered Yeosang one of your dearest memories.
It was hard not too, you suppose. He had been there for many of your firsts, and was always cheering you on. Yeosang always made you feel powerful and important - like a powerful heroine, and not his bratty next door neighbor who cried on his doorstep after being dumped by her first year partner. He always made you feel wanted.
Yeosang grinned at you as he stepped into the lobby (if your heart fluttered in your chest, you ignored it). He had on a backwards dad cap, and he had recently changed his nose ring out for the gold hoop San had bought him for his birthday. You could just faintly see his birthmark peeking out from where his bleach blonde hair curled under the hat.
“Hello, Sunshine.” He greets you, setting the coffee down on your desk.
You set the pen you were holding down, “Hi Yeosang.”
Upon first glance at Yeosang, you can tell he’s buzzing about something. He’s leaning over the check-in counter and chewing on his lip while making small talk with Hongjoong about the tourist season.
You raise an eyebrow, sipping your coffee as Yeosang turns back to you, “Do you remember Wooyoung and Yeonjun?”
You nearly choke on your coffee at the mention of your other neighbor and ex-boyfriend. Wooyoung had moved onto your street a few years after you had, and quickly became apart of the little bond you and Yeosang had formed. He moved to the coast with Yeonjun, your ex, the first chance they had gotten, but Wooyoung’s family remained in the neighborhood.
“I babysat Woo’s brother the other day…” You watched your friend, “Did something happen? Mrs Jung didn’t say anything the other day.”
Yeosang grins, and it’s his scheming grin, “Their band got signed,” He tells you, “They need a new bassist, and Wooyoung showed them that video you took of me from that show last month. Their label wants me to come down; play a few shows with them, record a couple demos. See if we have chemistry, basically.”
Your eyes widen - both out of excitement and fear. You were happy and excited for Yeosang! This is the opportunity he had been wanting for years, but you were also terrified.
You were terrified in a horrible, selfish way because you knew if Yeosang left to join Wooyoung and Yeonjun, he’d never come back to you.
“That’s… That’s great, Yeo!” You manage a grin whilst trying to shove the selfish thoughts away, “When do they want you there?”
Yeosang’s smile falters, just for a moment but you still catch it, “Monday.”
“F-Five days?”
He nods, “I’m leaving Saturday morning, so I can be there Sunday afternoon.”
You can see it in his eyes; he’s terrified too.
Before you can say anything else, Yeosang leans over the check-in counter and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, “I have to get back to work, Sunshine.” He tells you, his voice quiet as if he’s giving you a secret, “I’ll see you later.”
He’s already halfway down the lobby when you swear and move out of your chair, you quickly call his name as you move out from behind the desk. You rush over to where he’s standing, and look up at him. He’s confused.
He opens his mouth to say something, but the words die in his throat when you pull him into a tight hug, “I’m proud of you, Yeo.”
Yeosang wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. His chest is warm, and you’re sure you could spend hours here. He smiles, pressing another kiss to your head, “I know, Sunshine.” He pulls away, his hand on your arm, “I really do have to go, though. I’m already late for work.”
You nod, wrapping your arms around your torso as you watch him leave the hotel and turn down the street to go back to the convenience store. When you turn back around, Hongjoong is watching you with an amused look on his face.
You glare at him as you walk back to the desk, “Don’t you have a fiance to call, or something?”
----------------
You were tired.
Friday nights were always busy, but tonight was draining and loud and you could only take so much of Miss Liu’s incessant phone calls about mundane things at 3am. All you wanted to do was go home, and fall into your bed and sleep for hours.
Hongjoong didn’t help your mood either. It was an innocent question about Yeosang, asking if you’d seen him since he visited you on his break but it pushed your mood down to a low point. You had been so busy the past few days, and if you were being honest with yourself, you had been avoiding Yeosang.
You weren’t ready to see him leave. You knew it was selfish, but you figured avoiding Yeosang was easier than admitting you didn’t want him to leave you behind. You would just simply watch his life through Instagram and consider the ‘what-ifs’ in your life.
You shouldered your tote bag after clocking out before yelling a good-bye to Hongjoong. You could see the beginning rays of morning sun hitting the other buildings in the downtown core as you stepped out the employee doors, and then you were hit by the sight of Yeosang leaning against one of the pillars.
Your eyes widen, “Yeosan-”
“Come with me.”
You stop. Your words are left in your throat, “W-Wh… Go with you? To the coast?”
Yeosang nods, “Come with me,” He steps forward, taking your hands in his, “What do you have here? A degree you don’t care about? A job you hate?”
You frown, running over his words in your head, “I-I have my mom. And… I have Hongjoong!”
He raises an eyebrow, “Y/N, Sunshine… Your mom will barely notice you’re gone, and Hongjoong can visit us.” He cupped your cheek.
You’re so busy having an internal crisis you hardly notice the usage of ‘us’. You’re considering the logistics in your head. Yeosang was right; you didn’t care about your degree, and all it would take was an email saying you quit for them to find a new front desk person. Your mom would be upset for a few weeks. She’d probably make some passive aggressive Facebook posts about you before acting like your best friend again.
“Yeosang…” You look up at him, your hand coming up to circle around his wrist.
“Your sister is there, and you could write everyday.” Yeosang adds on, “I did the math, Y/N. Between the two of us, we’d have 6 months to figure it out. 6 months, and we’ll come back here if nothing works out.”
You stay silent for a moment.
“Sunshine, I promised I’d show you the stars, didn’t I?”
You gasp at the promise. It was a silly promise he had made when you were both kids; something you’d almost forgotten about.
It hits you quickly: there’s no one else you’d rather run away with. There’s no one else you’d trust to run away with.
You look up at Yeosang, “Yes.”
He grins, “Yes?”
You nod, “Yes, Yeo. I’ll go with you.”
----------------
An hour. An hour was how long it took for you to turn your life upside down for Kang Yeosang.
In an hour, you had emailed your program advisor and told them you wouldn’t be returning for the next semester, and you had called your manager and told them you wouldn’t be coming in for your next shift, or any shift after that (which was promptly followed by a phone call from Hongjoong, who seemed more excited about this than you were). You had packed up most of your clothes and important belongings, and they were loaded into the back of Yeosang’s shitty car. You left a note for your mother, and before you knew it, you were sitting in the passenger’s seat of Yeosang’s car.
----------------
You had fallen asleep barely an hour into the car ride.
The rolling hills and fields outside your window made your eyes feel heavier, but you tried staying awake to keep Yeosang company.
“Go to sleep, Sunshine.” He tells you, “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Yeosang’s promise was all it took for you to succumb to your exhaustion.
You don't usually remember your dreams. Though today, there are flashes of a beach, and a smile that takes your breath away. There are blue skies and if you try hard enough, you can just faintly smell sea salt.
You wake up hours later, smiling. True to his word, Yeosang is still there when you wake. He’s wearing a pair of sunglasses, and tapping his fingers to the beat of the song on the radio.
Yeosang smiles when he notices you’re awake, “I talked to your mother.”
Your eyes widen, “You talked to who?”
He laughs, “You didn’t answer your phone, so she called me.”
You frown, glancing at your phone in the free cup holder. You could imagine the amount of calls and texts that were in there.
“She wasn’t very happy.” Yeosang continues, “She wants you to call her when we get there.”
You nod, “Thank you, Yeo.” You say softly, looking over at him.
Yeosang throws you a smile, “Of course.”
“Not just for talking to my mom…” You watch him, “For not leaving me behind, too. Thank you.”
Yeosang reaches over, taking your hand, “I’d never leave you behind, Sunshine. You’d have to try really hard to get rid of me.”
----------------
The car ride was long, and full of Yeosang’s early 2000s emo playlist & fast food. You called your sister, who was ecstatic to hear about your plans and had immediately offered you and Yeosang her beach house. She made a comment about how ‘she always knew you two would end up together’, and it made your heart flutter when you glanced at Yeosang.
Yeosang told you about Wooyoung’s band, and how excited he was to play with Wooyoung. You smiled, listening to him fondly talk about your old friends and their music.
It was getting late though, and you could see it in Yeosang’s face that he was getting tired.
“We should stop for the night.” You tell him, “You’ve been driving since 6am, Yeo.”
He huffs, “We could drive through the night.” He proposes, “We’d make it to your sister’s place in a few hours.”
You frown, “Or... We could stop for the night, shower, and then leave first thing tomorrow morning. We'll get there by noon tomorrow.”
Yeosang glances at you, going to protest. He ends up yawning instead, his nose wrinkling slightly, “Fine.” He pouts.
You laugh, reaching for your phone to google the closest hotels. There's a comfortable silence in the car, filled with the occasional beat of Yeosang’s fingers on the steering wheel. You feel at ease, even if it's just for a moment.
“There’s a motel off the next exit.” You tell him, stifling a yawn of your own.
----------------
Sure enough, there had been a motel off the next exit. It was small and slightly rundown, but cheap and had an available room. You waited in the car while Yeosang went into the check-in office, promising to be back in a moment.
He came back dangling a key in his hand, and a slight frown on his face as he opened the car door to let you out.
“So... There’s only one bed.” He broke the news, a blush growing up his cheeks, “It’s all they had, unless we wanted to drive another hour down the highway.”
Your eyes widen, “O-Oh.” You glance at the key, and then back up at Yeosang, “I’ll sleep on the floor, or something.”
Yeosang frowns, shaking his head, “We can share for one night, Sunshine. I think it’ll be okay.”
Which leads you to here; lying almost nose to nose with Yeosang. Your hair was soaking wet from a shower in the tiny bathroom and the small motel bed wasn’t comfortable, but you didn’t seem to mind as you took in the man in front of you. You pushed the strands of bleach blonde hair out of his face, and your fingers softly lingered on the birthmark next to his eye.
His breath stuttered, “Y/N,” He says, his voice a mere whisper, “We’re free.”
You let your hand rest against his cheek. Your eyes lingered on his lips before you caught yourself, moving your gaze back up to his eyes.
Yeosang only smiled at you. He gently held your wrist as he tilted his head and placed a soft kiss on your palm, “I’m going to kiss you now, Sunshine.”
“Yes please.”
You felt every nerve in your body light up when Yeosang kissed you.
A small part of your brain told you that this is where you’re meant to be: in Yeosang’s arms.
You felt this way the first time Yeosang had kissed you too, all the way back on that roof in 11th grade. You two had been talking about the future; about your writing and Yeosang’s music. You looked up at the hazy night sky, and you asked Yeosang if you’d ever get to see the stars.
He smiled at you, telling you that he would show them to you one day before he kissed you so sweetly.
Yeosang still kissed you sweetly. He kissed you like you held the secrets of the universe in your hand for him to take.
You pulled away, “I think I love you.”
He smiles against your lips, rubbing soft circles into your wrist, “I think I love you too, baby.”
—————-
You had this assumption that the next morning would be awkward; that you would be stuck for the next 6 months with someone you could barely look in the eye because of a late night confession.
Instead, you awoke to Yeosang kissing your head and placing a bagel & ice coffee down for you. He had quickly ushered you into the shower, before you put on a change of clothes and were quickly led out to the car between bites of your bagel. This all happened over Yeosang telling you how you only had a few hours before you reached your sister’s beach house, and he wanted to try and make good time so you could enjoy the beach today.
You giggled at his antics before settling into the passenger’s seat for the last few hours of your journey.
You sipped your ice coffee as you watched out the window. The countryside on the highway zoomed by you, and the car was full of sunlight from Yeosang’s sunroof being open. There was a Fall Out Boy song on the radio, and you felt a sense of calm brush over you as Yeosang took your hand in his.
The sunshine had never felt so nice on your skin as Yeosang pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand.
taglist: @vanishingboots @sunsethw4
#ateez imagines#ateez fluff#ateez scenarios#ateez x reader#kang yeosang fluff#kang yeosang imagines#b.
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The first Halloween party of college goes extremely successfully for Ben.
So successfully, in fact, that he doesn’t even get back to his room until approximately four in the morning. Unfortunately, his roommate is asleep, so he has nobody to rave to about the very very sexy girl from the basketball team he spent the wee hours of the morning with, but then again, Nando is a responsible citizen, and Ben doesn’t want to wake him so he can dish about a hookup. Instead, he sheds his costume, crawls into bed in his boxers, and waits until morning.
When morning comes, Nando wakes up first. Ben knows this because when he comes to, sometime around ten in the morning, with autumn light beaming into his eyes like a hangover laser through the window, Nando is not only already up, but already showered and dressed. He’s chilling on his bed typing on his phone, and smiling at his screen while he does it.
When Ben sits up in bed, blinking the light out of his eyes, Nando gives him a wave. “Hey, man.” He’s chipper, still grinning, and definitely not feeling the effect of last night the way Ben is.
Ben yawns, and stretches both arms to the ceiling. “‘Sup,” he gets out, after what feels like a prolonged, yawn-caused delay. He rubs out a crick in his neck, then, to Nando, says, “How long have you been up?”
Nando is typing on his phone again. “Like an hour?” he says, then shrugs. He sleeps his display, then puts the phone down on his chest. He’s still smiling. “What, uh… what time did you get in?”
Ben pretends like he has to think about it for a second. “Around four,” he remarks, after the consideration.
Nando lets off a vaguely impressed chuckle. “You don’t fuck around.”
“Actually,” Ben corrects, finger-gunning him, “that’s exactly what I was doing.”
Nando laughs. “I hate you so much.”
Ben winks at him. “Most people do.” He grabs his most recent half-finished water bottle from his bedside table, and downs the rest in one gulp— which definitely clears his head a little. From next to the bottle, he takes a blue scrunchie, and starts to tie up his hair while he looks again to Nando. He’s texting again, so Ben gives him a minute before he begins his dishing about Jess.
And he intends to tell him about Jess. Or at least to make an offhand comment about how he’s lost his basketball team virginity, to be funny. Nando may not be able to relate to his sentiments about girls, but when Ben comes back from a hookup, Nando usually asks where he was.
So he’s about to tell him. He waits for him to be off his phone before he does. But when Nando puts his phone down again, he folds his hands on his stomach, and he talks first.
“So, like,” he says, smiling at the ceiling, “not to jinx it?” It’s only right then that Ben realizes something might be up for him , and his next sentence confirms it. “But I’m pretty sure I met the cutest guy on this campus last night.”
Ben’s internal simp sensor rings off the hook. “Oh, did you?” he chirps. “Did you really? The cutest guy on this campus?” The doofy smile on Nando’s face is a fucking delight to behold, and so is the way it keeps widening as Ben makes fun of him. He can’t believe he didn’t notice this right off the bat. “You better start talking right fucking now, Seb,” he declares, and lowers his voice in his unparalleled glee to whisper, “Did you get lucky?”
“What? No!” Nando laughs, and shakes his head. He twists his hands where they’re resting on his stomach, and shrugs, with the simp smile lingering. “We just talked.”
“ We just talked ,” Ben mocks, and cackles, as he drums on his own pillow. “ Dude !” He wants to jump on his bed. Nando meeting a guy is good on its own, and even better when you consider the sheer amount of chirping this gives Ben ammunition for. “Who? When? At the party?”
“Yeah, at the party.” Nando ruffles a hand through his curls, then his smile widens. “He agreed to go on a date with me.”
“ What ?!” Ben very well may be waking up all their dorm neighbors, and he gives a literal negative amount of fucks about that. He slaps his pillow again. “You fucking casanova!”
Nando says nothing, but peeks at his phone, and keeps smiling when he goes to type again. “Jesus Christ,” Ben whispers, in his awe. “Are you texting him right now?”
Nando nods, and Ben yells into his pillow. His best friend, who got cheated on and dumped the third week of school, is a complete ball of mush over some guy right now. Ben could not be more fucking amped. And also he’s going to get details. ASAP.
“Who, who, who?” he says, as soon as Nando’s attention is away from his phone again. “Who is it? Do I know him? Do you have a picture?”
“I don’t think you know him,” Nando replies, “but, uh, yeah, I think I have a picture. Hold on.” He picks up his phone again, and Ben does his best not to vibrate out of his skin. While Nando surfs through his phone— not texting, this time— he announces, through his smile, “His name is Quinn.”
Nando looks about to melt, and Ben is going to combust over it. Wait until Remy gets a load of this. “Nanny’s fucking wheeling,” he shouts, for nobody to hear, and claps a couple times. “ Dude . You’re a fucking legend!”
Nando laughs. He taps something on his screen, then says, like it’s no big deal, “All I did was get his number.”
“And get him to agree to a date with you!” Ben cries. “All in the same night? That takes skill!”
Nando rolls his eyes, but doesn’t stop smiling. “Look who’s talking,” he says, and then announces, “I sent you his Instagram.”
“Oh, say less .” Ben leans to grab his phone from the nightstand, and grins a little when he opens Instagram to find a follow request from Jess. He accepts it, then clicks on the profile Nando sent him. It brings him to a quinn cooper🌈🌷🧏♂️ , whose bio informs Ben that he’s kiersey college ‘22 and GRTA , whatever that second part means. A few taps through an aesthetically coordinated profile in muted, warm colors land him on a post from September 24th, in which a ginger twink with a white scarf is smiling in the apple orchard next to a very pretty blonde girl dressed all in pink. “Ginger boy?” he asks Nando, who’s texting yet again.
“Yeah,” Nando says, and then smiles up from his phone. “He’s cute, right?”
Ben cackles again, and nearly falls off his mattress. “Dude, you’re fucking simping right now.”
“Stop!” Nando’s smile hasn’t faded. Ben takes a minute to look through other pictures on Quinn’s Instagram. His most recent post is from October 6th, and it’s a shot of a tree Ben recognizes as one outside the performing arts center, in peak foliage. it’s a lovely time of year🍂 , reads his caption. Other, older posts include a big cast photo from some kind of play, a bunch of tulips in a huge garden, and three cats on a sofa. “Wow,” Ben remarks, once he’s done stalking (for now). When he looks up at Nando, he has to shake himself out to keep from yelling again. “ Dude ,” he says, instead. “You’re in deep. I can see it on your face.”
Nando presses his cheek into his fist, like he’s trying to rub the blush out. “I had a good night,” he murmurs, smiling down at his downturned phone in his lap.
A ‘good night’ seems like an understatement.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Ben announces, and jumps out of bed. “I’m gonna get dressed,” he starts, sauntering to his closet to prove it. “And then,” he adds, looking over his shoulder once he yanks his KMH sweatshirt off a hanger, “you’re gonna buy me brunch.”
Nando laughs. “Whaaat? No fair,” he says, but he doesn’t seem too pressed about it.
“And then ,” Ben continues, while he pulls out a pair of jeans, “you’re gonna tell me all about your new ginger friend.”
He waits for Nando to protest, but he doesn’t. Instead, when Ben turns again, Nando is smiling all the same, with his arms folded all smugly.
“Okay,” he says. “I can do that.”
Ben is going to lose his mind. For the first time, things seem to be looking up for Nando in the love department. He’s still smiling at his phone, like a fucking simp ass.
Ben laughs as he gets dressed. Good for him .
Ben doesn’t know it, but years down the road, he’ll tell this story— among many others— at Nando’s wedding to this new ginger friend. For now, though, he’s getting brunch and a dishing session out of this. It’s going to be even better than the dishing session he expected.
That’s another win for the fucking boys .
#mel writes#ficlet#my writing#kiersey college#rhode island headass#nandoooooooo#quindo#sort of#idk this came to me out of nowhere#i am a huge sucker for the nando&ben friendship dynamic#and for Soft Nando#in general
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Tag Game - Get to Know Me
Answer the questions below and tag 11 people you want to know better!
i was tagged by @moody-typos and it looked like fun so i thought why not.
. • . • . • . • .
1. What do you prefer to be called name wise?
silv, silvy, or silvana. i don’t particularly mind as these are all technically the same. so all of them i guess are my preferred name.
2. When is you birthday?
june 26th!
i like to remark that’s the day the US legalized gay marriage in all 50 states back in 2015 so i was born to be gay. 🏳🌈🌈
3. Where do you live? (You don’t have to give city, you can give the state if you’re USA or country if you’re overseas)
US if the previous statement wasn’t obvious.
another hint: it’s hot and it rains too much here. good luck finding me~
4. Three things you are doing right now?
writing ( non-fanfic work ), listening to music ( FEEL NOTHING atm ), & working on headcanon requests from my inbox.
5. Four Fandoms that have your peak interest right now?
my hero academia, ikemen sengoku, mr. love queen’s choice, & castlevania. these are currently my most consistent hypes that won’t let me go.
6. How has this pandemic been treating you?
at first i thought it would be great but i’ve been stuck inside ( i literally have not been passed my mailbox or even near it ) for 3 months or so now. i’m ready for it to be over because i would like to enjoy my summer while i still have the opportunity.
overall i’m stressing myself out and unmotivated to do a lot of things.
7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?
Contagious by NIGHT RIOTS, been obsessed with it since February of 2019.
but i also recommend:
Fashion Forward (Acoustic) by The Home Team
I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don’t Wanna Die by Waterparks
8. Recommend a movie.
Birdbox. Sandra Bullock is in it ( reason enough for me ) it’s a great sort of horror/thriller movie that really builds suspense by your imagination. if you’re easily scared i do not recommend it because your mind will definitely work against you.
A milder movie ( that isn’t horror ) would be Mad Money. it is a hilarious movie about 3 women from entirely different backgrounds that work at and rob a high security bank ( and all for different reasons ). the characters are quirky and well put together.
both are on the US netflix but i’m not sure about anywhere else.
9. How old are you?
not old enough to drink yet. yet.
10. School, University, Occupation, Other?
i’m in university. i’m studying to become an accountant ( but so far my business classes have only taught me how to destroy the economy in my favor while jumping through legal loopholes oof ).
11. Do you prefer heat or cold?
definitely cold. i hate both if we’re talking weather but i can cope with cold. i tend to get even more tired in the cold and it helps me sleep ( hibernate technically ).
12. Name one fact about you that others may find unusual.
well... if i’m being honest, i have very horrible eyesight ( i’m almost completely blind in one eye ) and people seem more than a little worried when i tell them i can incapacitate a humanoid target from a 100 yards ( ~92 meters, at least ) and i have the target poster to prove it.
i won’t get into it but if you want to know how that poor poster is doing just let me know.
13. Are you shy?
relatively. if i know you, i’m the loudest damn person you know, or if it’s a matter of discussion, i tend to have a very powerful persona ( or so i’m told ).
generally i will not talk to people and keep to myself though. people make me nervous and i struggle to cope with anxiety so i don’t go out of my way to talk to people ( so i just end up sneaking glances if you pique my interest but i can’t say anything to you ).
14. Do you have preferred pronouns?
i prefer they/them, however, i still align with female attributes so she/her is legit too. whichever, i’m not picky about it.
15. Biggest pet peeve?
slow walkers. this might not be #1 but it’s definitely up there. i walk incredibly fast ( especially for a person with short legs ) and have long strides. if you’re in front of me and blocking my way, you can bet i’m going to mow you over. i will not slow down.
16. What is your fave ‘dere’ type?
the first one to come to mind was yandere and it’s probably true. it’s the mindset of the yandere that draws me in. if they’re written and played out well they become people who we’re teetering on the edge of becoming if we aren’t careful. i love that terrifying feeling of “i could be that if i just step wrong”.
17. Rate your life 1-10, 1 being really crappy and 10 being best it could ever be.
i really don’t want to do that, because i’m in an okay place and sometimes i’m in bad or good, but really it depends on the moments, people, and little messages that make it better. just depends on the time of day.
18. What is your main blog?
@moonsirens
haven’t honestly decided what i’ll do with it so it will probably just be a repost and dump?
19. List your side blogs and what they are used for.
one of them is private that i can’t tag & it’s used for roleplay stuff ( aesthetics, character files, images, etc ).
@spellbound-doodles which is my art blog i am still to chicken to post to. i should but sharing personal works, stories, & art is really hard for me ( a best friend had to make an instagram for my art for me to get me to start posting! )
20. Is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?
expect me to bother you about my dog and the horrible jokes my brother made that i absolutely have to share because they made me laugh so hard i cried.
also, footnote, i’m satan soooo-
but that’s a story for another time.
. • . • . • . • .
tagging : most people i’m vaguely familiar with have been tagged, so i guess whoever wants to snatch it up and give it a shot? i’ll tag you then-
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Paige Michel - 5 DJS on Instagram Live that bring the party to your house! - Dancehall & Soca Edition
For those of you that don’t know I am an Afro-Caribbean girl, my family originate from Jamaica, St. Lucia and Dominica. I am a care leaver, and my foster carer was from Barbados. I appreciate the beauty, arts and culture from the Caribbean. I love the music - I am a huge Bashment/Dancehall and Soca fan! Woi Yoii!
For two years, I was radio presenter and producer of a show I created with my two closest mates, Albert and Kaira, called URBAN P.A.K, at Surge – The University of Southampton’s official radio station. Together, we celebrated and showcased Black Music, Artists, DJs and Producers all over the world. Of course, I played all my favourite Dancehall, Soca and Afrobeats tunes, we played games live on air and I even hosted some quizzes too. We went to the R.U.M (Real Urban Music) events in our free time, to see the hottest artists and DJs live in clubs. It was such a lit experience!
The 5 DJs that are killing it on Instagram live right now are - DJ Supa Nytro, DJ Larni, DJ Nate, DJ Nassen and DJ Private Ryan! They are my Greater Londoners, because they have brought me and thousands of others so much joy, through Dancehall and Soca music, during lockdown. This Covid-19 crisis, has proven very difficult for self-employed creatives, like DJs, so please go check them out, show some love, book them for future events, and wuk up your waist lol!
1. DJ Supa Nytro :
Instagram: @SupaNytro
Twitter: @SupaNytro
I went to Manchester Carnival for the first time in August ‘19. Not gonna lie, it didn’t compare to Notting Hill Carnival, but I still had a brilliant time. My makeup was on point, purple glitter on my water line to match my purple ombre hair. I was palancing, jumping up, and throwing colourful powder everywhere like it was jouvert! The rum punch was sweet (and cheap... not overpriced like London lol)! The patties were delicious too. I watched the showcase of Manchester’s mas bands, their local musicians, and dancers. I was dancing with my cousin Bertha, to all the DJ sets. This is when I came across DJ Supa Nytro – and OMG, his set was everythingggg, playing all my favourite songs! He had his dancers with him - Miss Rose was my favourite. Lol, I like how he’s always wearing his customised hats and tops with his name on it – I see you! I loved DJ Supa Nytro’s set so much, I just had to get a pic with him! (Go check it out on my insta!) I’ve been going to see him play at Dancehall events in London ever since.
I tuned in to DJ Supa Nytro’s Instagram Live one Friday Night, and I am so glad I did! I realised he is not only a DJ, he is a host too. He has no filter, which makes him absolutely hilarious. He initiated conversation like ‘who are your Top 5 Dancehall artists?’. I was definitely engaged in his conversations, and intrigued to see others opinions on the Instagram Live chat. I said my favourites right now are:
1. Vybz Kartel A.K.A ‘THE WORL’ BOSS!’
2. Popcaan
3. Alkaline
4. Aidonia
5. Dexta Daps
I also mentioned there’s a difference between my top favourite Dancehall artists right now and of all time. What we could all agree on was the fact that Vybz Kartel is the King of Dancehall – Awaoh! As a Dancehall music lover, and a history student - I really appreciated Supa Nytro’s Dancehall History quiz. He really got me thinking. I was singing along to all the bangers he was playing. His Movado set was excellent, bringing back some old tunes, and bringing back some old memories lol! You know how a song has the power to remind you of a person, a place or time in your life. I can’t wait for Supa Nytro’s next live!
2. DJ Larni – ‘Him nuh normal!’:
Instagram: @Dj_Larni
Twitter: @Dj_Larni
I have been to quite a few Dancehall events with my friends Channon, Aisha, Mercedes and Tiana, like Bashment Central. It was here I heard DJ Larni’s set and yasss he was superb! I’ve since, followed him on Soundcloud, so I can hear his mixes in my day-to-day life, like when I’m doing my makeup looks or travelling on the tube etc. Sometimes I feel to just bruck out on the train, because woii the tunes are too lit!
It was a dry quarantine Friday night and I was scrolling through my Insta, as you do. I was checking who was on live and I saw DJ Larni was online. The energy he was giving through the phone was madddd! He’s an amazing host, and knows how to entertain his audience. He’s hella funny too – just freee and crazyyy, I love it. I like how his room was dark, lit with blue party lights, giving us that club feel. DJ Larni is innovative – he requested ladies who love to dance to dancehall music, to join his Instagram live. Seeing the ladies skin out and bruck out really gave us that dancehall experience! He also engages with his listeners, telling everyone to bring their flag to rep their country, just like you would at a Caribbean carnival. DJ Larni’s liveliness is a vibe, really contagious. His Insta live party was tun up!
3. DJ Nate:
Instagram: @DjNateUK
Twitter: @DjNateUK
I have been listening to DJ Nate’s mixes on Soundcloud for a long time. I love his ‘Dancehall and Chill’ mixes. I like that some of his mixes specifically focus on one Dancehall artist at a time i.e his 100% Dexta Daps, Popcaan and Alkaline mixes– some of my favourite artists. Last year, I attended DJ Nate’s Caribbean Rocks Festival with my cousin Bertha and it was amazing! I wasn’t feeling too well at this time, but I said nahhh, there’s no way I’m missing it. Never that! I had the pleasure of seeing so many artists perform live like The Rara, Alicai Harley and Dexta Daps. I was gutted when I found out Shensea could not make it, but I had a fantastic time, nevertheless! Dancehall a mi everything!
I saw DJ Nate’s Instagram Live and I was really feeling it! It was the day he was wearing his Vans vest lol. He was doing a Soca special and the tunes were fireee. The comment section on his live was going off. Bare girls putting the gyal on headtop emoji lool! People were absolutely loving the music he was playing. People from all over the world were tuned in and having a lovely time. DJ Nate was telling us to go get a drink, to give it that party vibe. I think something a little stronger than orange juice lol. Then, he put on a Soca song called Party Bad – Mr Killa and Legz. Woiiiii, I really enjoyed myself!
4. DJ Nassen:
Instagram: @NassenUK
Twitter: @NassenUK
Back in Summer ‘19, when we could actually leave the house and live our best lives, I went on a couple dates lol! There was one fineee assss guy I met up with, and we had some good conversations, like our music interests. We discovered we both liked Soca and woiii that made my day. Anyway, the point is he told me to check out his cousin, DJ Nassen, for the hottest new soca tracks - and the rest was history! I love DJ Nassen’s Notting Hill Carnival 2019 Soca Mix on Soundcloud. I’ve been getting hype to all the jab jab music! Bringing back some good memories of my time with my friends at Dreamland Jouvert ’19 and Notting Hill Carnival ’19. Woii!
I was checking out DJ Nassen’s Instagram Live one Friday Night and it was poppin! He calls it Lockdown Fridays, with his host Mist Hooli. Mista Hooli was his hype man, making the party lit! I appreciate when creatives join forces to make magic – so thank you to them both. I was really whining on my sofa lol, I had that Jamish feeling! I was putting hella fire emojis in his Instagram Live comment section. DJ Nassen was really moving them hips lol, when he was playing his set, really grooving to the music. Some of my favourite soca songs, DJ Nassen played were:
Head or Tail - Lavaman ft Mr Legz
Famalay – Skinny Fabulous, Machel Montano & Bunji Garlin
Run Wid It – Mr Killa
Wet It Up – Zeek ft Shal Marshall
Bend Dong For Di Hmm – Krome ft Nassis
If you haven’t heard of these songs, go have a listen - I’m sure you’ll enjoy them…(unless your anti-Soca like Marv Abbey looool)!
5. DJ Private Ryan:
Instagram: @DjPrivateRyan
Twitter: @DjPrivateRyan
One day I just typed in Soca Mixes on Youtube, and DJ Private Ryan came up. I listened to his Soca Starter mixes, and loved them. When I went to my friend’s sleepover a few months back, we were dancing like crazy to Private Ryan’s mixes, having the time of our life. Lol, I’m so unfit, I was out of breath. Dancing to Soca music is really a workout and a half, which is great for your daily exercise intake. I followed Dj Private Ryan on Instagram not too long ago, and my guy is verified, a whole blue tick you know. Big up yourself, a great achievement!
I saw DJ Private Ryan’s live on Instagram and it was great! He calls it Freestyle Friday! He was playing a range of music from old school to new school, and a mixture of Dancehall, Soca, Afrobeats and RnB – The listeners were loving the versatility! In his comment section, many people thanked him for his mixes, as it was helping them pass time during quarantine. What I love about Private Ryan’s live is the inclusivity. He asks his listeners to send him song requests, which he plays, which makes it that much more personalised and special. You’ll definitely have a Fete in your house, tuning in to DJ Private Ryan’s Instagram live!
Many Dancehall and Soca events, like carnivals, have been postponed or put on hold due to the outbreak of Covid-19. So, this has left many of us feeling down in the dumps and disappointed. DJs using the Live feature on Instagram has been a great alternative, to bring the good music, and positive vibes to us. I have noticed, that some of these DJs Instagram live’s overlap with each other on Friday nights. But not to worry, if you do miss it, you can always listen back the next morning when they post it on their story or feed. So, go check out the 5 Djs that will bring the party to your house! – Dancehall and Soca edition. What are you waiting for!
If you know any other amazing DJs you think I should check out on Instagram Live, please feel free to hit me up. Apart from Soca and Dancehall, I like Reggae, Afro-beats, Neo-soul, RnB, and Hip hop. Thanks!
By Paige Michel:
Insta: @ItsPaigeMichel
Twitter: @ItsPaigeMichel
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So here’s the fanfic, I might write a pt2 if I get round to it. Also sorry the spacing is a bit shit on mobile, I promise it looks better on the desktop version!
Edit: the whole thing is up on my A03 which is random_contemplations if you want to check it out!
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Welcome to me camp!
My attempt at making a blog.
What do you even do in a blog? I don’t know what to do or what to write in it, but I do really want to create one, so here she is! I would want to make this chill-n-informal as possible and just type whatever I’d like to clack on my keyboard.
Shaving the Ice
Maybe typing in an introduction could be a good place to start. I could share a lot of sh’tuff about myself, but I don’t think knowing my favorite color is not really interesting. Knowing the amount of teriyaki and oyster sauce I pour into my cup of noodles in a kiosk near the campus library is too specific. By the way, its six and eight tablespoons respectively. I like’m salty like my sweat during a hot day doing fieldwork.
Anyway, let’s start with my name. Hi, I am Dominic! Yes, I let people know my first name, whatevs. I am a college student trying to understand what the heck emm doing. No, seriously. I entered university under a degree that I am not really quite familiar with. Even though I am treading in uncharted territory here, I could somewhat easily say that I am enjoying myself.
I know that no one would read these post-clackers of mine but doing stuff like this would help me cope up. We all know that there is this pandemic crisis going on and being in the house all day is not really something that could make anyone stay sane, so I though that I could do something like this and just type my thoughts and stuff.
Sketch-n-Shtuff
I do have a Twitter account going under the handle @domblerone! (Follow me there for real good shit!) I don’t even enjoy Toblerone. I just thought that it sounds cool but I guess it’s just meh like a Toblerone. If you taken a peek and see what’s over there, I do digital art! (and maybe some kvetchin’ here and there)
Ever since I convinced my grandmother to buy me a Wacom tablet that’s on sale for around a hundred bucks, I have been collecting a bunch of .SAI files of unfinished work. They range from random scribbles of something that I don’t even recognize to files with around a hundred plus layers. I don’t even know how people can create amazing works of art with only a few layers. Like, what the fuck? To be fair, I abuse my blending modes.
My pen and tablet have always been my sword and shield in many fights and the scratches on it are the reminders that I should change my nib already, but my cheap-ass says that I should just use sandpaper to smooth it up. I don’t even know where I can buy nibs. Again, I just use sandpaper like using water for cleaning your paintbrush.
Other than making digital paintings, I do nothing. Heck, no. I know that I am boring, but emm not that boring! (No offense to people who just sit and do art all day. Kudos to you peeps!) I usually just relax’n with me Switch and play Animal Crossing or just a quick game of Mahjong on the new Clubhouse Games. I am also trying to learn Russian through Duolingo and by reading reference books and such. (I forgot to play today, oh menn. I am dead). I also binge watch on YouTube and listen to MrCreepyPasta or Blue_Spooky for my daily dose of nosleep or LetsNotMeet. I don’t really like watching series or movies, so Netflix isn’t really my cup of tea. I can’t stand to sit all day and marathoning a whole season. Well, sometimes, I do watch a movie or two of whatever my mother is watching at the moment and do get invested in it.
Of course, my favorite hobby, sleeping.
Diving in REM Land
This is the part I am quite excited to type in about. Along with my favorite hobby, I do like to recall or even write down what happened in my dreams. I want to share more of me traversing REM Land, but I guess an introduction to it would be fine for now. I am no means an expert in dreams or the thought behind them, but I do like to share some of my experiences with them. Sometimes, I like to tell a tale or two to my friends when this topic arises because menn, dreams are like some sort of acid trip (No, I don’t do drugs, lol).
After crying and having a breakdown due to the stress due to the exquisite life of schooling, I tend to have sleep paralysis. I do have this sleep demon that always shows up when I have these episodes. He just stands there by my side and does nothing. Can’t really take note of any physical details (well of course, he ain’t physical) because he is just some humanoid shadow. Regardless, he is there, looming. I’ll call him Fred. Just thought of it right now while typing. Fred the Sleep Demon, Something, or Other.
I do have this recurring dream, err nightmare, when I was a child. I can’t remember anything about it. My memory of it is just a blank void, but the feeling is pretty nausea-inducing. Every time I have this dream, I just jolt upwards and head straight to the bathroom to vomit my dinner. It’s weird. I really have no word for it other than it’s sickening as fuck.
I want to share more of this, but I guess having a separate entry for this is better.
Lightning Round
Let’s do an info dump here, because I want to do something else now that I can’t think of anything to talk about, ahe.
Favorite Color (LOL): Red or Maroon. I do something like cyan.
Something to munch on: I like sushi or sashimi. Not a weeb, I just like the taste of dead fish.
Something to push munch: Coffee float is my go-to beverage. It tastes like heaven if heaven was coffee and chocolate mixed with ice to keep it as cool as winters in Yakutsk.
Have a pet?: I do have a fish as a pet and its name is Bloop. Creative, ‘mright?
My jam: I listen to Indie Folk, Folktronica, and Alternative Rock.
Games I play: I like horror games like Silent Hill or Fatal Frame. I also play Pokemon, Animal Crossing, and anything I find quite interesting.
Hotel?: Trivago.
Anyway, I am all out of time now (says who?). I am now going to have a snack break. I haven’t tried eating cereal with coffee as a substitute for milk so that’s what emm going to do next! Thanks for reading me random typing. I’ll try to keep this blog aflame, don’t worry. This won’t be like my Instagram that fell into the depths of hell. I’ll also post some art here so that this won’t be just seas of grey.
Thanks for coming to my Fire Talk. See you next time!
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how to get over any guy, the right way.
Most of my preteen years, I wasn’t like other girls around me. I didn’t play a sport, I didn’t cheer, and I wasn’t interested in One Direction. But the main thing that set me apart was that I wasn’t boy-obsessed. I observed my friends going out of their way to grab someone’s attention or wait impatiently for a text. After watching them shoot many gazes across the cafeteria, I began to wonder what was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I doing this? Or even compelled to do this?
As I entered high school, these girls I hung out with got more confident and began going on dates. They put effort into their appearances at school, went to parties, and gushed over how perfect a guy was. Many ‘boyfriend appreciation posts’ went up on social media. Weeks (sometimes months if they were lucky) went by, and then one day they showed up at school with mascara running. The guy was gone. The pictures came off Instagram, and selfies with forlorn faces and captions took their place. I comforted them as best I could.
They sulked a little longer.
And then the next week they were with someone else.
Why?
Now before I answer I should probably explain what I was doing if I wasn’t on the cheer squad, partying, or going on dates. How could I possibly fill my time?
I was at the theater.
Since age eight I had a passion to perform, and a need to make people laugh. My parents recognized that and threw me into the little theater down the street. I’m forever grateful for that. My time was invested there. And if I could count all 12 years of football games, movie premieres, and parties I missed because I had rehearsal, I’d have a whole other lifetime of experiences.
I approached my mom about this cycle my friends were caught in. I asked why they jumped from guy to guy without a second thought. How could they mend their hearts so quickly and so frequently? She chuckled to herself but didn’t answer.
A few years later when I got a boyfriend, I was determined that this wouldn’t happen to me. At fifteen I think it’s safe to say we were young and stupid. So, when he broke up with me, (better put, ‘ghosted me’) I was obviously heartbroken. What do you think I did?
I got up, cut my hair (because that’s just what you do), and auditioned for a show.
A year or so later, I found someone else who was better than the last. We dated (for a long time, at that) and then he broke my heart in two. Harder than the last time. What did I do?
I got up, cut my hair, and stage managed an all-male cast of Twelfth Night.
I hope you notice the difference in my breakup approach as compared to my peers. (Hint: I didn’t run out and find someone else a week later. Why?)
The best way I can explain it is this: Girls who jump from boy to boy (or man to man) and rebound fast are trying to find themselves. They don’t know who they are, so they try to find it in others. In short, men become their hobby. When you see girls showing signs of boy-obsession, girls who are constantly wondering ‘what’s wrong with them’ or why they’re getting dumped, bring them here. There is a reason.
You need to learn to love yourself before you love anyone else.
You need to learn to invest in yourself before you invest in someone else.
When I say invest, I mean you need to find a hobby just for you. Something that empowers you. Something you’re good at. Find friends that enjoy that hobby too and build relationships with them through it. Whether it’s art, sports, music, or science, find the foundation of your creativity.
People aren’t reliable. People can’t be there for you 24/7, even if they say otherwise. The activities that fuel you will help you regain balance when a relationship fails.
Not only will busyness keep your mind off heartbreak, but it will remind you of who you are and what you can create. Pain is an incredibly effective motivator. It will remind you that there is something they haven’t taken away, and never can. That there’s something you are reliant on simply because you supply it yourself.
Every time I got my heart broken, I’ve thrown myself into art and my church. Those things made me different. Theatre became my lifeline. Because even if I didn’t feel up to doing it, I knew I was good at it before and during the previous relationship, so I could be good at it after. I probably wouldn’t be alive without theatre. When depression sets in and you can just show up to create and no one is interested in anything but the show they put on, your problems seem smaller. It lets you wrestle yourself. It lets you grow. It’s thanks to art that I emerged from those situations ready to love again.
I got broken up with during a show (during tech week, a most stressful time) after thinking I’d eventually marry this person. My mentor happened to be the stage manager of this show, and she could read me like a book. She let me sit in the booth by myself for a while, to reflect and cry without prying eyes. When I emerged, she said something I’ll never forget:
“Every time my heart breaks, I pick myself up, and think about how lucky I am that I get to do it all over again.”
It only made sense to me after I conquered the depression that followed that experience. I realized being committed to something I loved made me attractive and desirable to myself and others.
To close I’d like to say…
If you don’t know yourself, you can’t know someone else in a romantic way and expect it to last. Being in a relationship is hard enough. It’s crippling even when both people are perfectly right for each other. Bearing your soul to another person with self-esteem issues isn’t healthy for you or the other person. Be grounded, then seek out healthy people who are grounded in the same ways. Then you start from a solid place and can grow together.
Find someone who understands that spending time with your hobby makes you exactly who you were meant to be. Find someone who has something they love, and BE INTERESTED IN IT. And don’t be mad if they want to do it without you. It’s probably not personal. If you can find someone who respects your space and your time for your art, you’ve got a good thing going.
So, if you end up alone again, you have a soft place to land. And a way to cope.
You’ll be happy to know I conquered my wounds from the past relationship and have moved on to someone better. He knows and understands that sometimes I must be at rehearsal and can’t hang out with him. He understands it isn’t purposeful if I’m late or forgetful. He understands that I share a love for myself and my art. And he always comes out and supports me opening night.
It’s never hopeless. You will get better.
Copyright 2020
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5. New York, Fall
Summary: Travel writer/photojournalist AU, slow burn, mutual pining, angst, fluff and adventures around the world.
Pairing: Alec Hardy x Hannah Baxter
Rating: Mature
Word count: 1.6k
Prologue | Chap. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Ao3
Hannah was too fond of clothing and accessories to be a minimalist packer. She kept her wardrobe well organized, divided by climates and types of activities, but used creativity to select the right clothes. It was an art. One that began with a theme, a story she wanted her pictures to tell. (She’d once packed only retro-inspired clothes for a long weekend in Paris during which she visited movie-famous locations.) And since, on a cruise, hauling a heavy suitcase around wasn’t an issue, she may have gone a little overboard (pun intended) with the nautical theme: white and navy stripes, tiny anchors, big anchors, sailor collars, mermaids...
“I have nothing to wear,” she whined, dumping half her suitcase on the floor of her cabin.
The ship would dock in Manhattan soon, and she still hadn’t found the perfect outfit to go to Hardy’s photography exhibition. Something that looked irresistible yet like she hadn’t made an effort at all. Not like she worked in a theme park.
The whole thing was ridiculous anyway. Her contract with the cruise line gave her a choice among four destinations and ten dates— she could have gone to Alaska!— but she’d chosen a place she’d already visited on somewhat inconvenient dates in October, just on the off chance she might run into him. He didn’t even know she was going to be there. She couldn’t decide whether to tell him. Whether she wanted to see him again. She didn’t usually keep in touch with people she met abroad. The moments they shared were perfect as they were. Meeting again just wouldn’t be the same. Why ruin a perfectly good memory?
But Alec…
She’d said before she wanted a man who would challenge her, but parachuting or strange foods was what she had in mind, not ethical dilemmas.
At least she had a fantastic leather jacket.
The World Press Photo event took place in Brooklyn whereas the ship docked on the west side of Manhattan. It didn’t look that far on the map but, once again, she’d underestimated distances in America. Google Maps informed her it was an hour-long public transport journey to the building where the conference took place. They docked at 10am, and she had to be back on board by 4pm. What kind of cruise stays only six hours in New York but stays overnight in Nova Scotia?
She was familiar with the subway from previous visits, and seamlessly joined the crowd on the platform. She wore her headphones even if her music barely pierced the metal grinding of the old subway cars. She tapped her feet, at first to the beat of Lana Del Rey, but then out of nervousness. What would she even say to him? Oh, hi, funny meeting you here.
By the time she walked out of the subway station, her skin was clammy and smelled of rust and other people’s sweat. An autumnal breeze refreshed her and chased dead leaves around her feet.
She washed her hands and face, sprayed some perfume on her neck and shook her hair for volume. With a sigh, she blew a strand off her face.
Beside the door, a banner announced: “Alec Hardy, a retrospective”. A black and white portrait of him, with a hand tugging back his hair and an annoyed look on his face, told visitors he didn’t appreciate having the viewfinder turned on him. The lights and shadows in the picture revealed his physical flaws: the fine lines at the corners of his eyes, freckles on his cheeks and nose, even some greying hair at his temples and in his beard. She only ever used black and white to hide a too-red face or unflattering light. He didn’t hide anything, and the photo was stunning.
She read the short biography next to it. Forty-two years old, ten years older than her. She filed the information away. Everything else she knew from looking him up already.
In the high-ceilinged, white room, his photographs, in various sizes, lined the walls and hung from the ceiling to create corridors.
Hannah scanned the crowd of art students, photography enthusiasts and other conference attendees with lanyards around their necks. She didn’t see him, and couldn’t tell which of relief or disappointment swelled in her chest.
The exhibition began with Alec’s early work on the streets of Glasgow in the 90s: poverty, union strikes, and the punk scene. Domestic moments caught through dusty windows, spike-haired lovers in a park, and children playing among burning rubbish bins. She smiled at a self-portrait, his reflection in a broken mirror, an old Leica covered half his face, wire-frame glasses and smoke from a hand-rolled cigarette covered the other half.
Political protests and revolts followed. From Ireland to South Africa. He’d been right in the eye of it, among the armed men, the bleeding noses and mouths shouting for justice. In the rage and lust.
Hannah walked from one to the other, heart beating fast as if watching an action movie. How many times had he been threatened? Held at gunpoint? Kicked and punched? He really made a habit of putting himself in danger’s way. His recklessness scared her, in a good way.
His later work shifted away from the action towards the devastation left in their wake. Destroyed villages, grieving families, scarred men, empty-eyed women. More children featured in his photos. She recognized Pulau Kesuma: a pile of discarded monogrammed hotel towels among flowers, new fishing gear left to rust, an old fisherman with the sea etched on his skin. With every picture, Hannah’s heart grew heavier. By the last photo, tears threatened to ruin her mascara. And yet, something in the way he showcased sunlight gave her hope.
Hannah rounded a corner and gasped: there was a photo of her. Taken at night, darkness hid her face, but she recognized her leg kicking an arch of bioluminescent plankton. She raised her cell phone to take a picture of it and share it on social media, but changed her mind. She looked at it closer. She wasn’t used to seeing herself through someone else’s camera. An image over which she had no control. A moment of unstaged spontaneity. She wasn’t used to feeling humbled. She watched other people’s reaction to it. They didn’t know what it meant.
The picture of her was part of a special section dedicated to his more artistic work. Random snapshots he’d never dedicated an entire series to before now. Breathtaking landscapes, powerful oceans, a colorful Indian wedding, elephants in Thailand, coal-smeared Congolese children smiling bright, several photos of a baby girl. Through his lens, even the streets of London became poetic. And she thought that pain and misery did not diminish the beauty of the world, if anything, the fact that people endured and kept laughing and creating, was all the more wondrous because of it.
She went around the room a second time, always on the lookout for Hardy. She did a double-take at every brown-haired or bearded man, only to be disappointed. Before she knew it, she’d spent more time there than at the Louvre. She lingered in the building for as long as she could, visited the other exhibitions, but had to get back to the port soon. She decided to leave a message in the guest book, leaving it up to fate whether he would see it.
Outside the building, golden sunshine trickled between fiery leaves and alighted every raindrop falling across its beams. Umbrellas bloomed and children laughed, and Hannah was keenly aware that each person around her had their own story, their own unique perspective on life.
Like light shining through a prism, daily life was dissolved into millions of shades by the people experiencing it.
Hannah walked two subway stations farther, fascinated by the city thrumming with life around her.
To capture that variety, she used to write in-depth articles about encounters with one person. She’d gradually abandoned those in favor of shorter pieces for the attention-deficient social media users, and marketing disguised as personal anecdotes. Perhaps she should do that again.
She smiled at the young latina woman walking her dog, but only received a wary look in return.
This strange hyper-awareness followed her on board the cruise ship, but morphed into introspection once alone in her cabin. Seeing Hardy’s journey made her consider her own.
When asked why she started traveling, she always told the same story. She, Ben and Erin formed an inseparable trio of best friends in secondary school. They dreamed of backpacking through Europe. Once in uni, they kept postponing their plans for all sorts of reasons. Unfortunately, Erin died abruptly during their second year. Realizing how short and unpredictable life is, Hannah had packed her bags and left England.
It was a nice story, but it wasn’t the whole truth. She never said how her friend died, that she left even before the funeral, that she stayed too long in Amsterdam to numb her guilt, that there was a reason she didn’t keep in touch with the people she met while traveling.
The rocking waves failed to lull her to sleep. She nearly called Hardy twice, but her longing scared her. Her emotions felt too close to the surface, too easy to bruise.
She wrote all night and deleted the file in the morning.
They docked in Boston next. She filled a travel mug with black coffee and headed off the boat with the firm intention of being her former, professional self. She hadn’t even posted on Instagram yesterday. It really was for the best that she hadn’t encountered Hardy. They had shared a moment in Asia and that was the end of it. She had to focus on rebuilding her reputation after what happened with Elite Travelers.
Outside the cruise terminal, where buses awaited passengers for day tours, the marketing liaison waved her over. Before she’d even said hi to him, someone else called her name.
“Baxter!”
Her heart melted.
#Hardy x Hannah#Teninch fic#Broadchurch#Secret Diary of a call girl#travelers AU#lostinfic writes stuff
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HI babies i’m kristin and i’m so excited to be BACK bc i love veritas w my whole entire heart and?????? wow. i’m sick and got sent home early from work because of it so i’m a tired binch but i’m here and ready 2 party. i meant to have an insta graphic and playlist done but,,,,,, yikes. so maybe i’ll post those later. if you’d like to plot (or keep with the old plots we had for old members) give this a LIKE or give me a message on here or discord!!!!
stats page // connections page // pinterest board
the basics!
full name: cassidy turner
skeleton: the influencer
age: 21
major: musical theatre
clubs: theatre, campus media (photographer), campus radio
job: waitress at giovanni’s
the rest
tw: mentions of death, depression, alcohol
sO cassidy is the oldest of five kiddos. she’s got a twin brother that she’s older than by ten minutes, a half brother (13), and two half sisters (15 and 11)
cass and her twin brother were born in ashmont, ct to rebecca turner and an unknown man (to the twins anyway). their mom always claims it was a fling. he was a musician, and he had left before she found out she was pregnant.
so here you have a 20 year old suddenly now raising twins on her own. she actually did pretty well for the most part and raised her kids to be gr8
cassidy doesn’t ever TRY to be bitter abt it but sometimes it just,,,, happens??? and she hates herself for it bc he didn’t know but how do u leave a pregnant lady on her own idk
when the twins were four, their mom met a man and eventually married him!! they had three kids over the next few years, which now upped the kiddo count to 5 and they were one big happy family!!!
tbh cass saw him as her father, since he was around from when she was really young, and he was a big part of her life growing up
around this time she met daisey and the two became fast friends!! they spent basically every day together throughout their childhood (more on that later)
but THEN, tragedy struck (bc why would i let my muses be happy who do u think i am)
when cassidy was 15, her step father unexpectedly passed away, and the family was left without any direction. they didn’t have a lot of money to begin with, but now one income to feed six people was not an easy task.
with the combination of grieving, money stress, and probably fear, her mother fell into a deep depression, finding a coping mechanism through booze. she lost her job along the way, and slowly the money that was left was fading fast.
cass and her twin brother basically took that as a sign that they needed to take responsibility to keep their family alive, so they immediately took up any jobs they could find, just to keep money coming in.
most of their paychecks went into a bank account that would help the kids get by, since their mother didn’t do much of anything to help anymore.
this situation really tore up cassidy’s relationship with her mom, and most of what she feels is resentment and anger towards her mother, even though her brother doesn’t have that same opinion.
around this same time, her friendship with daisey started to fall apart, quicker than she would have imagined. it was a natural drift, coming apart due to daisey’s increasing popularity and cassidy’s lackthereof. nothing was malicious, which made it even tougher. she still misses that friendship sometimes, despite what others say about the girl.
throughout high school, cassidy worked her hardest to get high grades, because she knew that without a scholarship she wouldn’t be able to afford college otherwise.
she hardly got anything below an A, was involved in everything club that she could, and graduated as the salutatorian. she worked hard enough to receive enough scholarship money to cover most of her cost in school.
she’s currently in her final year as a musical theatre major!!!! she’s a nerd abt it too don’t open up a conversation about theatre unless u wanna lose a few hours
(here’s where i start pulling things directly from my app so they’re getting longer)
cassidy has been involved in so many creative arts let me tell u. she discovered her first love in theatre at seven years old, which was soon followed by singing and dance lessons within the year. throughout the next decade, her love for the performing and the visual arts only grew over time, and some new passions were also discovered.
she also found that she had a talent in photography and writing when she was in high school after a friend convinced her to sign up for the yearbook. what started as just a way to gain another credit and add to her college applications turned into a passion that she would continuously want to pursue. it wouldn’t be her career, but she’d always find a way to keep doing it.
because of these passions, it was no surprise that cassidy would take to social media as another creative outlet. what started out as just posting videos from theatre performances on youtube began to grow into something more, and before she knew it, she was a recognizable name on the platform. she hadn’t planned on becoming an internet personality, but now that she has, she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
cassidy has been actively posting videos on youtube for about three years now (essentially since starting college), and her channel currently has about 120 thousand subscribers. her channel mainly focuses on theatre related content, vlogs, advice, and a handful of videos related to bullet journaling and challenges.
a lil hc- cass’ channel is basically a mix of katherine steele and jenna marbles
she also has a pretty strong following on instagram, so she’s all abt aesthetics and making her page always look neat and pretty
cassidy can be described as a walking advice column disguised as a mom friend. she is incredibly warm and welcoming, (which can even be seen in the clothes she chooses to wear), and she always has a kind word or smile to give anyone that crosses her path on a day to day basis.
she has been known in the past to strike up a conversation with a stranger, just because she liked their shirt, or they share the same coffee order. if someone comes up to her on the street needing advice, she’ll give it to them in a heartbeat, even it’s a simple “dump him”. she’d probably give you the shirt off her back if you asked her nicely (pls ask nicely)
she doesn’t like to make a habit of sharing some of the deep dark past things that were mentioned earlier, mainly because of how many of her classmates come from money. because of this, she’s never truly felt like she fit in amongst the wealthy community that attends and surrounds the university. she’s always trying to fit in with her peers, but nothing ever seems to be enough.
ever since the news of daisey’s disappearance, cassidy has truly been at a loss for words, or even thoughts. for almost fifteen years of her life, there had hardly been a day where cassidy wouldn’t see daisey’s face, even in passing between classes after their friendship ended. since then, she still looks for her as she walks around campus, as if the whole thing was a dream, and daisey rutherford is still around and running st. etienne university.
okAY now its time for some lil fun facts and hcs!!
stans john mulaney don’t @ me
cries all the time bc a bitch is fuLL of emotions lskfjsldk. soft commercial? tears. she’s happy? crying. she saw a dog on the street?? grab the tissues. she’s a mess
her style varies but she always keeps a jacket or sweatshirt in her bag bc she’s cold a lot but also comfort™
started working in campus radio her freshman year just to try it out but now she rlly loves it!!!!!
has been in a ton of shows throughout her childhood. if you feel like looking at a mild shitpost i made for her, check out cassidy’s theatre resume (which is normal until the bottom)
honestly? just wants to give everyone hugs
this is so long im tired the end
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