#i TOO would be obsessed with her like this keeley
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you're obsessed
you're obsessed
Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!actress!reader
Warnings: swearing, no use of y/n
Summary: jamie tartt fic where he has a huge crush on an actress and sees her at a richmond event and she flirts w him he’s really shy bc he likes her but they hook up after idk
Wordcount: 1.6k
A/N: didnt manage to write any smut bc this was getting way too long teehee :D general warnings for swearing.
writing comms are open!
“Oi, Tartt! Stop stalking your actress and give me some laps,” Roy yells, shaking Jamie from his reverie. Jamie is not stalking her instagram. He’s just not; because a stalker would have notifications on as they obsessively checked their profile at least four times every minute. Jamie is only checking once every five minutes, and he doesn’t even have her notifications on. So there. Suck it, Roy.
“Fine, don’t give yourself an aneurysm,” he mutters, taking a quick minute to stretch before he’s running around the pitch. He just has a crush. That’s all. A little one. He first saw you in some thriller that came out last month, and something about you had him hooked. Initially he thought it was just the character you played, a regular yet charming civilian, pulled into the crime world. After watching (admittedly, way too many) interviews, he realised it wasn’t the character. It was you.
You with your witty remarks and comments. The way you laughed good naturedly and poked fun at your costars. The way you were clumsy and scatterbrained, in a terribly endearing way.
It didn’t help that you were also gorgeous.
So, yeah. Jamie had a slight crush. It was fine, though, because you were currently based in Los Angeles (you were in a new Marvel movie) and had no plans of coming to the UK anytime soon.
“She’s right fit, though,” Isaac says, nudging Jamie as he runs past.
Jamie feels his stomach tighten with jealousy before he catches himself. Why was he jealous? He didn’t know you and you probably didn’t even know he existed. Well, maybe you did, because he was sexy and a hot football player. Did you even watch football? Would you watch it if you knew he was in it?
Jamie remembers hearing something about a parasocial relationship from Keeley and resolves to not think about you.
At least while he was training.
***
He’s spraying on cologne in the locker room when Keeley bursts in, all smiles and pep.
“Oh. My. Fucking. God!”
“Is everything alright?” Ted asks, breaking away from Coach Beard who as far as Jamie could tell, hasn’t said anything but is managing to have a full conversation with Ted.
“You will not believe who I booked for this years’ Gala!”
Roy’s ears perk up at this as he slides into the conversation. “The Muppets?”
“No, Roy,” Keeley says, exasperated, “not the fucking Muppets. Only the hottest new actress on screen right now!”
At this point, all the boys have gathered around Keeley, jostling each other and trying to see the screen of her phone. Jamie fights his way to the front, and when his eyes focus on Keeley’s phone, he’s pretty sure his heart drops into his stomach.
It was you. There. With your smile and your eyes and your name and a headline.
You were coming to their Gala.
You.
He feels his heart drop into his stomach. This couldn’t be real. Maybe it was a mistype, or someone accidentally said they scheduled you but in reality you were on the other side of the globe. It was faked. It had to be.
He broke away from his team, practically running back to the changing rooms. Opening up your instagram, he pulled up your story. There, you had reposted the announcement.
Oh. Oh fuck.
***
On the day of the Gala, Jamie seriously considers hiring a stylist rather than just going with his gut. He needs to look good. Tonight is most probably one of the most important days of his life. His favourite actress, coming to his club’s Gala. Maybe, if he plays his cards right, you’ll bid on him.
Wait. Who was he kidding? He’s Jamie fucking Tartt. Of course you’ll bid on him. He could wear a trash bag and you’d bid on him, because he is just that fucking sexy.
Right?
He shoots a quick text to Keeley, desperate for a second opinion.
Me:
[image0.png]
thoughts? Xx
Keeley:
Ur hot babes!!
Gonna knock em dead xx
Lose the tie u look like a prick <3
He takes one last look in the mirror, running his hands through his hair. Yeah. He’s gonna show up and be so cool. He’s so cool.
***
They’re taking pictures on the carpet, and everyone can tell Jamie is not all there. He barely tells the paparazzi to take pictures of his good side, following it up with “And that’s any side.” His eyes keep darting around, every scream and shout of delight sending his stomach in knots in case you’re the one to step out of the limousine.
Maybe you just won’t show up. Maybe you were already inside.
He can’t decide which option is worse.
When he’s at the end of the carpet, about to head inside, he hears whistles and screams, different from the ones before. These sound a lot more excited, filled with more adrenaline and anticipation. Or maybe he’s just projecting.
He turns, and sure enough, you’re there.
Stunning. That’s the only thing he can think of. You smile beautifully at the photographers, working the crowd with ease. It was as if you were friends, had a solid rapport with them with the way you were conversing back and forth.
“Close your mouth. You look like a fucking basking shark,” Roy says, elbowing Jamie in the stomach.
He flinches back, giving Roy a shove in return. “Oi, what was that for?”
“You’re not gonna make a good impression with you gawking like a fucking idiot. Go say hi or something. Be fucking normal.”
Jamie sends Roy an affronted look. “I am normal, you old bastard. Just because we don’t act like how you did in the 1800s doesn’t mean I’m being an idiot.”
Roy just growls, shoving past him into the building.
Jamie takes a step forward to follow when a voice catches his attention.
“Hey! You’re Jamie Tartt, right?”
He turns on instinct, a winning smile already plastered on his face. “I’ll do autographs once—you.”
You raise your eyebrows slightly, waiting for him to go on. “Once I what?”
“You’re, um, you’re her.” He says your name, almost reverently.
Your grin widens, almost giddy. “You know who I am?”
“I follow you—” before he could say more, your manager rushes in behind you, ushering you inside. You wince at him, apologetic, before heading inside.
Jamie stands there, dumbfounded.
I follow you? That’s what he had to say? Now he really does sound like a stalker. He scrubs his hand over his face, groaning in disappointment.
He’s gonna make it up to you. He has to.
***
Inside, he sees he’s sat with Ted and Roy as well as a few other people and an empty seat next to him. He largely ignores his own table, trying to catch sight of you and not succeeding in the slightest. He huffs a sigh of annoyance, sliding into his seat.
Ted notices his glum aura, nodding sagely. “It’s the oysters, isn’t it? Because I know they have to try to make the flavour appeal to everyone but adding this much lemon is just downright insultin’.”
“It’s not the oysters, coach.”
Ted frowns. “The placemats? I was never really an eggshell white person myself but—”
“Jamie’s pining over an actress he thinks I don’t see him stalk on insta when he��s supposed to be running drills,” Roy cuts in, tired of Ted’s guessing.
“I’m not pining,” Jamie pouts, crossing his arms in a decidedly not childish way.
Before Roy could get another rebuttal out, the seat next to him is being filled, and once again he sees you, smiling at him. “Actresses are overrated,” you say, placing your napkin over your lap, “trust me.”
Jamie’s blood runs cold, convinced the universe is playing a cruel trick on him. Running into you is an absolute dream, he’d never deny that, but running into you with both Ted and Roy there? He may as well be taken out back and shot.
He must’ve been sitting there agape for too long, because before he knows it, Ted is reaching a hand over and giving yours a shake.
“Ted Lasso, it’s a pleasure to meet ya’. I absolutely loved you in that thriller that came out last June. Had me on the edge of my couch! And I know Jamie here liked it as well, he was bawling a right mess by the end of it.”
You turn to look at Jamie, and having the full force of your attention on him made him nearly choke on air. “Were you really?”
Jamie licks his lips, trying to gain some composure. “Bawling is sayin’ a lot, really. More like a reasonable cry.”
You nod along, clearly not buying it.
“I’ve been keeping up with your games this season. The goal you scored against West Ham the other day was seriously impressive. You were practically miles away from the net.”
Immediately, Jamie perked up. “You like football?”
“Well, I’m no expert, but I definitely try to watch all your games if I can.”
Jamie leans in, feeling bold and taking your hand in his. “Richmonds games? Or my games?”
You shrug. “Depends on the hair.”
He laughs, leaning back in his chair, body turned towards you. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.
#ari speaks#ari writes#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt x y/n#ted lasso#jamie tartt fanfiction
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Hi,
Just discovered your page and I am obsessed! I was wondering if you could do something about Jamie getting hurt and the reader meeting him in the treatment room and comforting him? Or something along those lines, I trust you!
Thanks!
Dang, you’re putting my angst skills to the test! I wrote this instead of doing homework. Probs won’t post again till the weekend, but who knows? Not me, that’s for sure. Thanks for requesting!
feeling fragile, can’t you tell
Football matches are always tense. It’s all about squeezing Keeley’s hand when Richmond gets the ball, booing when they miss and screaming when they score. You never know how they’re going to end until they’re done, and god it kills you. Especially when Jamie has the ball. You feel like you can’t breathe until you see it swoosh into the net, after which your chest loosens up.
You love it. Mostly.
The part you don’t love is the part that results in the medics being called onto the field. Some injuries are accidental, some are on purpose. You hate those. You’ve watched more players kick, shove, and punch each other than you would care to count. Your least favorite injury so far was when a burly player broke Sam’s foot “on accident.” You thought Roy and Isaac were going to commit murder.
Jamie told you the next morning that the whole team egged the man’s house that night. That’s why he had been late coming over. He wouldn’t tell you who’s idea it was, but you have a vague recollection of Jamie telling childhood stories about egging houses with his friends.
Injuries are truly awful.
Which is why you’re standing stock-still in the owner’s box, clutching Keeley’s arm and willing Jamie to get up.
He’d done this thing where he kicked the ball away from the opposing team, but landed on his back funny. Rebecca whispers, “Oh god, it’s Roy all over again,” and you remember being told about Roy’s injury. The one that took him out of the game for good.
Jamie’s only twenty-five, you reason to yourself, he has to be ok.
He still hasn’t gotten up. The medical team are rushing onto the field, and you’re pushing past Rebecca, running downstairs to go find him.
Keeley is hot on your heels, running as best she can in her heels which, honestly, is actually pretty good.
You’re not quite sure where you’re going, feeling blinded by worry. Keeley grabs your arm and tugs you toward the treatment room.
You burst through the doors right behind Keeley, who has almost run smack into Roy. He looks grim, more grim than usual.
“What’s wrong with him?” you whisper, mindful of the atmosphere in the treatment room. Jamie is on a table on his back, face white.
“Passed out,” Roy responds gruffly. “Fucked his leg and back pretty bad, but doesn’t explain why he’s fucking unconscious.”
Tears are beginning to form, and Keeley wraps her arms around your waist.
You move out of the doorway so the medics can pick up Jamie in a stretcher and move him to the ambulance.
You get a closer look at him as he passes by, features slack.
You feel like you’re choking.
—
The ride to the hospital is a blur. You’re not even sure how you ended up in Roy’s car, but you’re there, sitting in the back seat with Keeley’s comforting presence the only thing keeping you loosely tethered to reality.
Your mind is running through every possible scenario as to why he passed out. None of them are good. He’s messed up his back and leg before, but never to this point. And his face.
You can’t stop thinking about his face.
To be honest, he looked dead.
Panic starts to hit again, and it takes every ounce of control you have to force yourself to breathe.
—
You’re outside Jamie’s hospital room now. His doctor said he pulled some muscles, and passed out from a combination of too little water, food, and sleep. The pain must have been enough to trigger his body into finally catching up with itself.
You sigh, and push open the door, Roy and Keeley promising to wait for you outside.
Jamie is propped up in the bed, IVs in his arms for hydration.
At the sight of you, he says a soft, “hey, babe.”
He’s still so pale, and the tears you’d been holding in start streaming out.
“What happened, Jamie?” you ask, sitting on the chair next to his bed. You take his hand in yours. “How did I not know you weren’t eating?”
Jamie’s quiet for a moment, and you can see a glimmer of a tear in his left eye.
“I dunno,” he replies softly.
He doesn’t say anything after that, so you’re just left sitting there, hand-in-hand, in silence. He’s staring at the end of his bed, you’re staring at his face.
When it becomes clear he has no intention of speaking up you say, “Jamie.”
He turns to you, eyes hollow. “Saw me dad last week.”
You blink.
Oh.
“Oh,” you say out loud.
Jamie is silent for a beat, then says, “Didn’t tell ya because I didn’t want you to worry. He’s a piece of shit and my fuckin problem, not yours.”
You shake your head and bring his hand up to your lips. “Jaim. I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry,” because you know exactly what he’s saying.
You had assumed you hadn’t seen Jamie due to all his extra training.
You had assumed that he was taking care of himself in preparation for the game, like he always did.
You had assumed too much, because his dad was an unknown variable that threw a wrench in every place he found himself in.
The last time his dad had shown up, Jamie had tried to stop eating. You say tried because you basically force-fed him after the first day. He also couldn’t sleep. You could feel him tossing and turning, getting up to pace around, just restless. You’d rub his shoulders, hold him close, but nothing worked. He didn’t sleep well for two weeks when he was finally so tired that his body pretty much just shut down.
So. His passing out makes sense now.
Jamie is gripping your hand, knuckles white, tears beginning to roll down his face. His face, which he is trying to keep stoic, and is beginning to return to its normal color.
“Jamie,” you say. “Jamie, you don’t have to keep all this in.”
He shrugs.
“No, I’m serious,” you continue, “You shouldn’t keep this all in. We’re a team, you know? We’re supposed to share this kind of thing with each other, and if you think I don’t want to hear it or can’t handle it, then that’s a problem.”
Jamie whips his head around from his blank stare at the wall to your face. He whispers, “Are we breaking up?” fear evident in his expression.
“No,” you reply. “No. We’re just- we’re just figuring it out. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep things from me.”
You’re beginning to lose feeling in your hand. Jamie is looking somewhat relieved, but still not great.
“How long are you in here?” you ask.
“Doctor wants to keep me overnight. Make sure I’m hydrated or some shit.”
You hesitate. “Do you- do you want me to stay with you? I don’t have to, if you want to be alone I can just-”
“Yes.”
Jamie’s color is really coming back now, and he looks like someone’s removed a huge weight from his chest. “Yes, I would really fucking like it if you stayed. I can move over so you don’t have to sleep on that fucking shitty plastic couch.”
You crack a smile at that as he gingerly scoots over. You climb into the bed, mindful of his leg and the IVs. He throws an arm around you with less care than you think he should have, but you’re not going to worry about that right now so you just snuggle into his side. He’s warm, and you didn’t realize how cold you were until this exact moment.
There’s a knock on the door, and Keeley pokes her head in.
“Everything alright, babes?” she asks.
“All good here, Keels,” Jamie responds. You give her a small smile, which she returns.
“Alright then, Roy and I are gonna go. We’ll be back to pick you up tomorrow, yeah?” She points to you. “Text me if you need anything. Won’t be getting much sleep tonight.”
You’re not sure if she means she isn’t sleeping due to the excitement of the night or because she’s going home with Roy, but she’s gone before you can ask.
You sigh and put your head on Jamie’s shoulder.
You say, “Don’t ever fucking do that again, ok?” but it comes out as a plea, voice on the edge of breaking.
He replies, “I won’t,” in such a soft, sincere tone that you believe him.
You breath deeply for the first time that night, just glad that he’s ok and you’re together. You are a team, after all.
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt#ted lasso
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First Day of School
Oh no, Roy Kent x Teacher!Reader twice in one day? I might have a new obsession...
Just a little blurb about their first meeting on the first day of school 🍎
Teach Me Tonight Masterlist
“Smile, Pheebs. I’m sending this to your mum.” Roy aimed his mobile to take a picture of his niece.
First day of school. A fucking nightmare, really. The sounds of kids shrieking as they embraced after summer holiday, teachers trying to corral people towards the correct classrooms, little ones sobbing, parents sobbing.
At least Phoebe was happy, all smiles in her uniform and pigtails. And that made the morning Roy would be spending fighting his way back out of the parking lot worth being the person on drop-off duty today.
“I could get one of the two of you if you like.”
Roy turned his head. You smiled at him, looking like the last bit of summer in your dress and white sneakers. He felt something in his stomach lurch and wondered if he looked as red as he felt.
You offered a small wave to his niece. “Phoebe, right? I’ll be your teacher this year.” You offered your name and a handshake to the girl; Roy liked the way you seemed to treat her like a tiny adult, rather than like a toddler, the way some teachers did. “And you’re her uncle Roy, right?”
He shook your extended hand, amazed by how soft it felt in his. “Yeah. That’s me.”
“Lovely to meet you.” You gestured towards the phone that he clutched like a life preserver. “How about that photo then?”
Roy handed it over and crouched down next to Phoebe, wrapping his arm around her, offering a real smile. You quickly snapped a couple of shots before handing back his phone.
“Hopefully there’s a couple of good ones in there,” you murmured, doing your best not to stare too hard at the football star.
He didn’t bother looking at them. “I’m sure there are.”
Realizing that you were, indeed, staring at Roy Kent, you cleared your throat. “Right. Well, I’ll let you say your goodbyes.” You turned to Phoebe, plastering on that teacher smile, the bright, friendly one that you’d practiced in the mirror that morning. “And I will see you in a bit.”
As you turned to speedwalk to your classroom so you could try to remember how to breathe before facing twenty-four eight-year-olds, you heard your name called in a deliciously gruff voice. When you glanced over your shoulder, Roy was looking at you.
He took a step closer to close the space between you. “If you need anything this year, let me know. I’d love to help.” He cleared his throat. “My sister works a lot, but I’m available. To help, I mean.” He shrugged. “I’ll be coaching the girls’ football team, but seriously. Fucking- shit, sorry- effing field trips or class parties. Whatever.” He pulled his wallet out and opened it, plucking out a business card; he made a mental note to thank Keeley for making him get some. “My email’s there. Phone number too. Anything you need at all.” He let his eyes drift briefly over your figure before settling back on your face. “Gimme a call.”
Suddenly trembling, you took the business card from him. “Oh. Wow. Thank you, er, Coach Kent.” Your smile felt too big, too annoying. “I’ll see you around.”
You spun around, desperate to get away from those eyes and that leather jacket. Your fingertips tingled when you heard that deep voice hum, “Looking forward to it.”
It was going to be a long year.
#roy kent x teacher!reader#he's here he's there he's every fucking where#roy kent#roy kent x reader#roy kent fanfic#roy kent fic#roy kent fanfiction#roy kent fluff#ted lasso fic#ted lasso fanfic#ted lasso fanfiction
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obsessed with thinking about how ted would react to seeing y/n in more revealing clothes for the first time; short shorts, a crop top, a bikini, maybe some lingerie that y/n picked out just for him 😁😁
AN: Thank you for being patient this request has been bumping around in my inbox for a while and it's a good one!!
Swimsuit for reference (a black-owned brand I highly recommend so affordable! I own 3 of their swimsuits lol)
Rating: Mature
Tags: Secret Relationship, Established Relationship, Pre-smut, Vacation, When you're trying to get it on but your boss walks in, Reader in a swimsuit, Ted losing it just a little
Fic Masterlist
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You and Ted had been surprisingly successful at keeping your relationship under wraps at work. Of course HR knew; as soon as you got hired as Rebecca's personal assistant and Ted volunteered to give you a tour of the pitch, you knew he'd be a problem. You saw more of his broad shoulders in his white polo than you saw any of Nelson Road. And you were too busy looking at him to notice him looking at you. Back upstairs, you tried to surreptitiously ask for the policy on dating colleagues, but it was obvious who you were interested in, and it only took a few days for both of you to get your shit together and make a move.
It was a mutual decision to keep the relationship quiet: you were still getting your bearings at work and Ted had enough going on as it was. But it was certainly nice to pop in on him on quiet days with a coffee or to sit out on the pitch while you sent emails and pretend like you didn't see Ted trying to impress you with tricks the boys had taught him. A few of the boys had asked if you were seeing anyone and Keeley and Rebecca had tried to set you up a few times, and you were so thankful for the friendships you were forming but it was getting harder to come up with creative ways to shut them down. You and Ted hadn't spoken about how long you would keep things under wraps but you were in no big rush, especially when you still got to come home to your boyfriend in a Kansas City t-shirt and sweatpants cooking carbonara and offering you a glass of wine.
"So are you excited for the teambuilding extravaganza," you smiled at Ted as you hopped up on the counter beside him watching him beat together eggs and cheese.
"Sure am! I'm already packed. Looking forward to 5 beautiful days in Majorca. Just hope the boys don't get into too much trouble out there."
"M-Majorca?"
Ted looked at you over his shoulder confused at your reaction but then he smirked, "Well yeah? Why is something wrong with Majorca?"
"Nothing's wrong with Majorca," you laughed. "Rebecca just asked me to go with her to Majorca but she didn't mention anything about the team..."
Ted was plating up pasta as you chuckled over what you thought was a coincidence and you followed him to the table. "I may have been a little earworm in the bosses' ear, suggested the boys might stay out of the news if the boss was nearby."
"Ted!" You exclaimed when you realized he looked somewhat sheepish. "What you're saying is you tricked my boss into going on vacation so you could hang out on a beach with your girlfriend?"
Conveniently, Ted had too much pasta in his mouth to respond beyond a small shrug and you laughed. You were only teasingly mad, because you were already planning the outfits you'd pack and the sneaking around the two of you'd get into. "Well I guess I better get packing too," you said and watched as Ted beamed.
-
You'd scheduled Rebecca a couple hours of massages and facials and she'd invited you to join her but you declined. You weren't lying when you told her you weren't big on massages, but you certainly did have ulterior motives. You slipped on a swimsuit you'd bought specifically with Ted in mind: a colorful abstract two pieces, thin straps crisscrossing your midsection. He'd sent you a selfie from the hotel beach so you knew exactly where he'd be. He'd captioned it vacation face because he hadn't shaved and his salt and pepper scruff was in full effect. You couldn't deny it did something to you to see it in a picture, you knew you'd lose it to see it in person.
Stepping out on the beach, a few of the players called out hellos and you waved but kept moving, knowing you were still technically at work and just popping out to see Ted. You found him in a beach chair next to Beard, who was snoozing with his latest paperback tented over his face. Ted on the other hand was looking right at you, the arms of his orange-tinted sunglasses glinting in the sun, his lips slightly parted. You smiled, but crossing the sand with his gaze heavy on you brought on a sudden wave of lust. You wanted to know exactly what he was thinking and feeling. You wanted to climb into his lap in that chair and feel his stubble, secret relationship be damned.
He took his sunglasses off as you approached, tucking them into the pocket of the short sleeve linen shirt he was wearing. He looked downright delectable on vacation and you couldn't wait to say just that. Meanwhile, he was looking at you like a precious piece of art. His eyes roamed every inch of your exposed skin from top to bottom and back again and a blush crept up his cheeks that you knew wasn't just from the sun
"Hiya Coach," you flirted and Ted bit his bottom lip, his hand reaching for you on instinct before he realized where he was.
"Hi Y/N, you look...," he glanced over at Beard but seemed content that the man was sleeping, "fucking fantastic." Your jaw dropped at the profanity that he never used in public but put to use frequently in the bedroom. The look in Ted's eyes was as erotic as you've ever seen and you wanted his hands on you immediately.
"I was going to ask if this seat was taken," you gestured to the chair on the other side of him, "but you're looking a little...hot." You grinned, leaning just a bit closer under the guise of getting under the umbrella. "Why don't you come inside with me for a bit, Coach?"
Ted moved like you had just told him there was a fire and you couldn't help but laugh at the way he kicked through the sand. You caught up and led him to the suite you shared with Rebecca, figuring you still had a solid hour and a half before her pampering was over, and Ted was sharing with Beard who was asleep at the moment but could come knocking any minute. You pulled Ted into your private room and his hands were on you instantly as the two of you tumbled onto the plush hotel bed.
"Now where did you get this little number," Ted whispered gruffly in your ear as he trailed his fingers along the straps just below your belly button.
"That's what you want to ask when you could be asking me to take it off," you sighed and Ted smiled devilishly.
"I dunno," Ted said, pulling the fabric of the bottoms to the side and sliding his finger where you were already embarrassingly slick, "Maybe I'm thinking of keeping them on." Ted placed hot, open-mouthed kisses along your neck, his scruff sending little shockwaves to where his fingers were still exploring and you whimpered loudly.
And then you heard, "Y/N?"
The two of you had been so distracted you hadn't heard Rebecca come into the common area of the suite. You looked at Ted wide-eyed not sure if you should slide out from under him and answer or pretend you weren't there. Ted looked as tense as you felt, silently sliding your bottoms back in place. He looked around for somewhere to hide and sat up, in the process knocking a book off your nightstand with a sharp thud.
Undeterred and unaware, Rebecca knocked and then pushed the door open talking the whole time. "I ended up leaving the appointment early because I forgot I had a call with a member of the foundation about the gala, do you think you could order me—"
Rebecca finally looked up and noticed your... entanglement. You and Ted hadn't moved a muscle—you were on your back in a skimpy swimsuit and Ted was sitting next to you, one leg off the bed and shirt unbuttoned. There was absolutely no mistaking what Rebecca had just interrupted and you could see the little amused smile on her face.
"Oh, hello Coach Lasso." Ted gave her a small wave, tucking his shirt around himself like a robe. "Will you be joining us for lunch?"
You couldn't help it. You outright cackled at the ridiculousness of this moment. "I'm SO sorry, Rebecca, I'll—"
"No, no," she responded immediately, "I shouldn't have just barged in like that. I'll leave you two to—uh, well. I'll leave. But then I want all the details." Rebecca winked at you as she shut the door and you dissolved into giggles looking at Ted's mortified face.
"We're so lucky we have a cool boss," you whispered, sitting up to kiss Ted apologetically.
"You won't hear me disagreein', but boy was that embarrassing," Ted chuckled, "next time I'll just kick Beard out."
"Well, you might as well text him now because I'll be seeing you tonight."
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If you’re willing to humbly accept my Jamie tartt request where the team has a board game/charades night and they set up the reader and Jamie to be partners cause they’re all sick of their flirting/pining and they obviously crush everyone cause they’re the perfect team?
this is a little bullet-point drabble bc that’s how these things usually start for me and i’d rather give y’all smth small instead of nothing! that being said this got out of hand. lmfao i hope you like this !!
it all started when phoebe came around after training one day and was so obsessed with a new game that she made the richmond boys play with her
and this quickly escalated into game nights for the whole football club
everyone brought board games, card games and booze
family members came along, the whole facility got involved
it got really competitive naturally
you usually paired off with keeley while playing bc you both worked on social media and were becoming good friends outside of work too
but this meant you often ended up playing against roy and jamie
because there was some weird dynamic between the three of them
and somehow you got looped into it too
and eventually every time you played, you would start arguing with jamie
it was never anything serious, but it did get out of hand sometimes
it wasn’t your fault! you were super competitive, and he wanted to be the best at everything
it didn’t matter if you played monopoly or scrabble, you always ended up nearly yelling at each other
it was all in good fun, but truth be told, you really didn’t know jamie that well outside of these game nights
you crossed paths with him just about as much as the other players, getting some content for socials and discussing PR promo with them
you wouldn’t deny that you found him attractive, but you wouldn’t openly admit it either
so it was fun to mess around and mildly flirt with him with the pretense of getting competitive over board games
finally one week, you noticed keeley and roy showed up together
they were clearly interested in staying close to each other all night, which left you and jamie the odd ducks out
at first you felt betrayed. what happened to you and keeley being the dream team?
but you’d seen how they had been glancing at each other these past few weeks
you should’ve known this was inevitable
but everyone saw the way you and jamie interacted as well
so when roy and keeley showed up together, they suggested you and jamie pair up to play poker
you’d been wanting to learn how to play for weeks and colin brought fancy new poker chips
jamie was pretty okay at poker, so roy and keeley subtly suggested you two pair up to learn and play
“maybe you’ll work better together rather than against each other” they said
they were definitely conspiring to see if something would happen between you two
you both reluctantly agree
but you can’t tell if jamie is grumbling more about being your partner or because roy and keeley are back together
you ended up playing poker against bumbercatch, colin, and isaac, with jamie helping you learn the ins and outs before heading off to find drinks
he definitely got distracted on the way, chatting to others throughout the room
once he returned with drinks for you all, he saw how badly you were losing
so he pulled up a chair next to you, and started helping you
nudging you when he noticed what the others were doing
whispering in your ear what card to play
at one point, jamie places his hand on your thigh under the table to get your attention
suggesting how to play your cards right to beat the other boys
but you can hardly focus bc his hand is big and it’s warm and still resting on your leg
and even when you end up winning the round, he leaves his hand there, squeezing your thigh for encouragement
its not long before the boys are groaning over losing their money to you
while jamie is still helping out a lil bit, you’ve definitely improved on your own
by the end of the night you’re feeling triumphant when keeley and roy make their way over to you
and jamie’s got a proud look on his face
jamie’s a pretty touchy person, so he slings an arm around your shoulder as you all walk to a bar together
roy and keeley share a look as you guys chatter together instead of arguing over silly games
clearly they were right
as you and jamie flirt and get to know each other for the rest of the night
the arguing was definitely a pretense to something more
and you have a feeling it will be fun to find what comes next
it all started when phoebe came around after training one day and was so obsessed with a new game that she made the richmond boys play with her
and this quickly escalated into game nights for the whole football club
everyone brought board games, card games and booze
family members came along, the whole facility got involved
it got really competitive naturally
you usually paired off with keeley while playing bc you both worked on social media and were becoming good friends outside of work too
but this meant you often ended up playing against roy and jamie
because there was some weird dynamic between the three of them
and somehow you got looped into it too
and eventually every time you played, you would start arguing with jamie
it was never anything serious, but it did get out of hand sometimes
it wasn’t your fault! you were super competitive, and he wanted to be the best at everything
it didn’t matter if you played monopoly or scrabble, you always ended up nearly yelling at each other
it was all in good fun, but truth be told, you really didn’t know jamie that well outside of these game nights
you crossed paths with him just about as much as the other players, getting some content for socials and discussing PR promo with them
you wouldn’t deny that you found him attractive, but you wouldn’t openly admit it either
so it was fun to mess around and mildly flirt with him with the pretense of getting competitive over board games
finally one week, you noticed keeley and roy showed up together
they were clearly interested in staying close to each other all night, which left you and jamie the odd ducks out
at first you felt betrayed. what happened to you and keeley being the dream team?
but you’d seen how they had been glancing at each other these past few weeks
you should’ve known this was inevitable
but everyone saw the way you and jamie interacted as well
so when roy and keeley showed up together, they suggested you and jamie pair up to play poker
you’d been wanting to learn how to play for weeks and colin brought fancy new poker chips
jamie was pretty okay at poker, so roy and keeley subtly suggested you two pair up to learn and play
“maybe you’ll work better together rather than against each other” they said
they were definitely conspiring to see if something would happen between you two
you both reluctantly agree
but you can’t tell if jamie is grumbling more about being your partner or because roy and keeley are back together
you ended up playing poker against bumbercatch, colin, and isaac, with jamie helping you learn the ins and outs before heading off to find drinks
he definitely got distracted on the way, chatting to others throughout the room
once he returned with drinks for you all, he saw how badly you were losing
so he pulled up a chair next to you, and started helping you
nudging you when he noticed what the others were doing
whispering in your ear what card to play
at one point, jamie places his hand on your thigh under the table to get your attention
suggesting how to play your cards right to beat the other boys
but you can hardly focus bc his hand is big and it’s warm and still resting on your leg
and even when you end up winning the round, he leaves his hand there, squeezing your thigh for encouragement
its not long before the boys are groaning over losing their money to you
while jamie is still helping out a lil bit, you’ve definitely improved on your own
by the end of the night you’re feeling triumphant when keeley and roy make their way over to you
and jamie’s got a proud look on his face
jamie’s a pretty touchy person, so he slings an arm around your shoulder as you all walk to a bar together
roy and keeley share a look as you guys chatter together instead of arguing over silly games
clearly they were right
as you and jamie flirt and get to know each other for the rest of the night
the arguing was definitely a pretense to something more
if you didn't had a crush at the beginning of the night, you definitely do now
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt fanfiction#ted lasso imagine#my works#request#inbox
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Okay. BUCKLE UP.
To the people who say that we have no media literacy because we hoped til the very end that Ted and Rebecca would end up together: you can FUCK RIGHT OFF.
Recently, Hannah W. declared: "Is there chemistry beyond friendship? Yes, I think they do have that as well."
But beyond that, there were A MILLION OTHER WAYS they could have done the last season (and arguably season 2) differently than what they did to avoid any ambiguity as to Ted and Rebecca's relationship. They could have had them hang out all the bloody time and be the rock solid best friends in the world. Ted and Rebecca were never more than friendly co-workers since season 1 ended. That BFF, platonic bullshit was never a thing. If that was true, Ted would have had NO PROBLEM hugging the shit out of her in the stands in the last episode when she begged him to stay. Or again in the airport. They would have gushed over how they made each other's life better and it would have been beautiful and moving and perfectly reasonable. Instead it was loaded with unsaid stuff between two people who never dared to get too close to one another. Keeley was Rebecca's rock. Beard was Ted's. Ted and Rebecca were something else. They were connected in unfathomable, cosmic ways. A perfect set up for a romcom, even if you dislike the idea.
But okay, playing the devil's advocate here, if the platonic soulmates shtick was always the intent (and I don't care what people think, I'm not sure it was), why not have them fall in love with other people early on but keep them as a tightly-knit tandem? Why keep them apart so much throughout the show and both single for most of it???? Why even establish they were born to meet then they never see each other again at the end?? Romance aside, what was the fucking point of that??
Let's address your fucking condescension, shall we? I'll tell you what media literacy fucking taught me:
That Rebecca immediately sensing Ted was having a panic attack, following him, and missing him by a hair, is a classic trick for lovers in a "right place, wrong time" kinda way. If they didn't want to leave any space for ambiguity, she would have found him, comforted him and took him to Dr Fieldstone's office herself without this need to overdramatise and make us long for said comfort that she was unable but clearly desperate to provide.
That Ted texting her for the first time on screen (15 times!!!) because he wanted to hang out at night in a foreign city JUST WHEN SHE LOSES HER PHONE IN A CANAL is a classic SEE ABOVE!! Fuck all of you, honestly.
That one half of the equation carrying a matchbook in his pocket the other half had been obsessing over for months means he is the answer to her romantic quest. And before you go and say that everyone got a matchbook that night, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT. They chose to show that Ted, of aaaaaaall the people in the restaurant that night, had been carrying Rebecca's hopes and dreams in his pocket THE ENTIRE BLOODY TIME. It was an intentional, purposeful decision. They decided to drop that hot potato later on but you can't blame us for thinking it would lead somewhere!
That one half of the equation carried a trinket in her bag the other half gave her YEARS BEFORE, means he is the one for her. Why? Because this was something he gave her to make her feel safe! Letting someone wonderful love her without fear of being safe was the thing she canonically admitted she was afraid of in a ROMANTIC relationship! The fact that the army man happened to be stuck in the green matchbook was frankly TAKING THE PISS.
That Ted's official love interest having admitted she disliked his puns and having Rebecca laugh at one of his puns IN THE SAME EPISODE is meant to convey she's the one and right under his nose!
That her love interest for the night unloading his marital struggles on her unprompted just like Ted did, loving the same songs as Ted and making her tea that had the same impact on her as Ted's first biscuits means that what she looks for in a partner is right under her nose!
That having her bump into Ted in a corridor and both sensing each other in a choreographed dance MOMENTS after Higgins gave her a whole ass speech about how psychics could help her see in herself what she's missing means IT WAS ALWAYS TED. Don't even get me started on the fact that during said speech, the pink biscuit box was very conveniently placed just behind the green matchbook! A speech about her not seeing something about herself?? Uh??? FUCK OFF.
That Rebecca being told she will have a family and have her instigate Ted getting closer to his son and gushing over his mother is a clear indicator that she would fit in the Lasso household like a glove!
That having Ted canonically never ask for help and Rebecca being the one who doesn't need him to because she always knows when he is unwell means she's framed as being the right person for him. She also uses a trick his EX-WIFE used in the past for that exact purpose.
That their baggage matching right up meant they would have been perfect for each other. His biggest fear is being abandoned and hers is ending up alone. Ted and Rebecca were the logical option for a couple. Ted even had to begrudgingly admit it worked for Jane and Beard. The only canonically happy couple at the end (and ain't that fucking mental...).
That having the line "Remember to let her into your heart" from the Hey Jude song coincide with Ted looking down at his phone and seeing Rebecca's name means that she's the woman he should allow himself to end up with.
Why keep them both single and desperate for love until the very last episode? Why not have Michelle beg Ted to come back and Dutch Guy find Rebecca thanks to newspaper clips about football in Holland 10 episodes ago and be done with it?? Why even not have Rebecca pine for him on screen ever since they parted ways??
Everything in this show was intentional. You can't marvel over this fact for everything BUT Ted and Rebecca and suddenly claim we read too much into things! We were played. Multiple times. At various degrees. And it doesn't take being a fan of the show to see it:
An LA Times journalist made an article about the hints and clues in the show after she interviewed TedBecca fans. And she BELIEVED IT. She got convinced. She told Hannah W. in an interview.
Another journalist on CBR.com (male, so you can shove your "desperate women wanting the straight couple to be together at the end" where the sun ain't shining) lamented the way the TedBecca shippers were treated.
Keep your passive-aggressive posts to yourselves. We've been dangled a carrot since day one and just because we never got to eat it doesn't mean it was never there.
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I don't often talk on here about that many passions outside of D&D but inspired by a very brief exchange by @plethomacademia I want to talk very briefly about my great love for period dramas.
I'm a particular fan of Georgian era and Victorian era (but you know, every gal of a certain age had their brain chemistry altered by the 1995 Pride and Prejudice as Greta Gerwig knows well) so I wanted to talk very, very briefly about some of my absolute favourites (and whether the adaptation or the book has my heart)
Poldark. The books and the 1975 version, not the modern version (I liked the Elizabeth, wasn't a fan of the rest.) Poldark man. It's the ONE. Incredibly romantic, but with a real political agenda too around landowners rights and the changing role of the gentry. The books were hugely formative for me - and there's LOADS, so get them from your local library and enjoy.
The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling. The book, and the delightful 1997 BBC adaptation. I love this book. It's one of those early novels where the narrator just fucking talks about whatever they want. And because it's set in the earlier Georgian era where people did whatever they wanted, it's super sexy. Tom is basically fucking his way through the West Country and London.
Vanity Fair. The book, I've not liked any of the adaptations I've seen. Becky Sharp, beloved. The first real antihero I read. I love her to the ends of the earth. All adaptations try and soften her too much for my liking but the 1998 and 2018 both have good strengths.
The House of Mirth. The book and the 2000's film. Just sublime.
Anna Karenina. One of my favourite books. Western adaptations of Russian novels never quite hit the mark but I have to give a shout out to the 2000 version with Helen McCrory because she really sold the sexual obsession to me in a way others didn't. Man, she was the GOAT.
North and South. The book is great. The adaptation really is superb. Probably the best on the list, one that I would rank just as highly as the novel.
Wives and Daughters. The book was unfinished so they filled in a lot of gaps in the 1999 adaptation starring Justine Waddell (who incidentally was in EVERYTHING for a while? Like every period drama cast her, it was bizarre, and then she just disappeared. This also stars Keeley Hawes who was also in everything, including the very underrated Our Mutual Friend.) I know this one isn't the best, but I'm very fond of it.
Middlemarch. Listen, the book is the greatest book of all time to me. You have to read it at least once. The 1994 adaptation does a great job but it will never be the book, whose strands come together so perfectly, which teaches us so much about the intricate webs of being human.
The Crimson Petal and the White. The book is extraordinary, and the 2011 adaptation tries its best but suffers a bit from some odd casting. Still it's very worth the watch.
I Claudius. Curveball lmao. But it's perfect. Utterly perfect. The cultural impact of the 1976 adaptation can't be understated. A masterpiece.
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Roy’s been so obsessed with Jamie the whole time, actually. Keeley ‘s a little bit weird about him too.
- While flirting with Keeley in the press room, trying to get her to give him a second chance “Because I like you more than I hate him”
- Keeley being turned on by Jamie offering an inkling of vulnerability after showing up at her door
- “Every time I wanna kiss my girlfriend, I can’t stop thinking about Jamie fucking Tartt”
- In the middle of making out with Keeley, literally on top of her after he’s just walked in on her masturbating, “What did you tell the prince prick of all pricks about going back to Richmond?”
- Jamie thinking Roy and Keeley started dating just to make him jealous which. Well. Keeley technically had sex with Jamie to get back at Roy in Season 1
I’m probably missing some moments but They Are Just So Weird About Each Other. And in retrospect, the love triangle angle could’ve been done soooo much better. I hate that Jamie’s apology for the video leak is diminished when he tells Roy about it in the bar, but I do understand it shows their character regression and serves a greater purpose for Roy’s arc. And maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but it would’ve been more interesting if Keeley and Jamie had sex after he apologized in S3 (although the hug was really sweet).
idk why but the way you worded it "Keeley's a little bit weird about him too" actually made me laugh out loud lmao. Thank you for that anon. I think Keeley ALSO being unhinged about Jamie is something that is underrated!
I think my favorite is the scene where Keeley masturbates to Roy's retirement presser because the whole thing is SO 'Jamie is the third person in the room right now even though he is not actually here in the room.' Like. Let's compile the Evidence in that scene alone:
Keeley's vulnerability kink is activated so hard by Jamie having traced her to her coffee shop to seek her advice specifically that she immediately goes home to have a wank about it. Except she can't wank to Jamie can she? That would be bad because she's In a Committed Relationship. So she pulls out her old reliable Roy vulnerability video to wank to that instead. (Already it's pretty crazy.)
But then Roy comes home and Keeley tells him how hot she finds him when he's vulnerable, suggests again he take a chance on the pundit job and then uses JAMIE AS THE COMPARISON. literally fully well knowing how Roy can Get about Jamie Tartt, she's on about 'Jamie is brave.' 'At least Jamie is trying to get better.' 'YOU'RE JUST LIKE JAMIE.' i mean, GIRL?? insane. this is all after being walked in on mid-wank mind you.
In midst of all that, let's queue up another super sexy roykeeley kiss. at this point the conversation has MOVED ON. only for roy to BRING JAMIE UP AGAIN. 'what did you tell the prince prick of all pricks?' WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW ROY. whyyy are you still thinking about him. unbidden. as you are right in the midst of foreplay with your girlfriend.
Insanity on all sides of the triangle ❤️
But all of your examples are spot on and I fully think the weirdness about one another started even before any of that and got FAR WEIRDER from s3 and beyond. For instance, Keeley in the season one bar scene openly getting turned on by Roy with Jamie right there... one could argue that she was already leaning towards trading in Jamie for a nicer model but frankly. I think girl was angling for a threesome even then. And good for her!
Keeley and Jamie sleeping together after he came to apologize would've been a MESS. I would love to read a fic of that!
Part of what is so fun to me about the three of them canonically ending the series single is that the possibilities and configurations for smooshing them all together remain endless. maybe they all three figured it out at the same time and got together in a very romantic and cute and non-angsty way. BUT. if you want to be messy. roykeeley or jamiekeeley or royjamie can get together first, and whichever one is left out can just absolutely without a doubt be Going Through It. Meanwhile things aren't going fully well for the couple, and it's far from bad but they still can't get it RIGHT because it still feels like something (hint: someone) is missing. The someone who is currently off to the side thinking they aren't good enough aren't lovable aren't ever going to be okay again but at least their favorite two people are happy :( without them :( :( glorious
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Im obsessed with the fact that at literally the faintest hint that things are now ok between thrm, Jamie from then on is just draped over Sam at every opportunity, and Sam just goes with it
yes! that’s part of why i think samjamie works a lot better than royjamie! unlike roy, who takes around 6 months to process and accept jamie’s friendship, sam is immediately aware of and accepting of the fact that jamie just decided they’re besties. they both just mutually decided to protect and love each other one day and have no regrets about it! i also can’t really picture them getting into any “fights” as a couple, maybe just a few disagreements here and there about certain things like what color pillowcases they should buy, which movies they should watch (jamie is getting tired of watching ratatouille every single time), etc. but they’re so willing to put up with each others quirks that i don’t think there would be fights about one of them being too clingy or stuff like that. i think the most that they would really argue about would probably be if they thought that the other was putting themselves in a dangerous situation or something like that (sam worried about jamie getting in touch with his father). there’s also a much healthier power and age dynamic with them!
while i do believe that if roy put in the work to even out the power between him and jamie, we haven’t really seen that happen in canon. in fact, roy tends to do the opposite whether he realizes it or not (again the ‘ugly boy’ thing, and some other stuff). whereas sam and jamie don’t have that big of an age gap and are both at a pretty much equal power balance. i also think that it would be beneficial for both of them to be in a relationship where the power balance was equal, because of their respective histories (sam with rebecca, jamie’s whole entire backstory). even jamie’s relationship with keeley was bit unbalanced considering she was responsible for his pr and was about 10 years older than him, and she had a very well established career at that point. again, while i don’t really think these characters are malicious towards jamie, they still do have power over him that they in some ways abuse, even unintentionally. i love keeley but i think that she was also a bit toxic in behavior towards jamie, since she doesn’t really communicate her boundaries and gets mad when he understand them, and she’s been shown to be very petty about certain things throughout the show. when roy asks her for help during mom city, she ends up making jamie feel worse which shows that she doesn’t really understand him or how to comfort him at all, which is a bit worrying considering they were probably in a relationship for a good while.
sam gives jamie space but still supports him when he needs to and i don’t think he’d have any trouble communicating how he feels. he’s probably one of the most emotionally mature/developed characters on the show despite being one of the youngest, and while he does mess up he tries to rectify those mistakes any way he can. he also has no problems standing up for other people’s privacy/boundaries as we see in 3x09 when he says they shouldn’t speculate on isaac’s sexuality and just be there for him. whereas roy and keeley both have issues with respecting boundaries and privacy (roy asking keeley who her leaked video was for, both roy and keeley stalking jamie in mom city). while they both may have good intentions, it’s probably better to let jamie come to them with his problems instead of feeling cornered into telling them. overall, whether it be platonic or romantic, i think sam and jamie have one of the healthiest and most beautiful relationships in the show!
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unpopular opinion tbh but i wanted to share:
i honestly dont rlly like royjamie fics that take place before like. s3 episode 10. maybe im wrong about this but that would not fucking happen sorry. jamie is too immature s1 up to about midway through s2 when we really see how going to therapy caused him to really mature, and then roy i feel is too oblivious of his feelings in terms the root of his hatred/obsession with jamie. like he has been fixated on jamie for years and "everytime i think of her i just think of jamie fucking tartt" but i feel would never really realize the depth of his obsession until they became best friends (and once he became therapized). also jamie truly loved keeley (not really imo but i think he truly THINKS its true love) but then he doesnt realize that what he felt wasnt true deep love until him and roy are like practically living on top of each other post s3 and jamie inevitably falls in love with roy?? (i mean cmon theres no way jamie wouldnt fall in love w him if he's bi). also like i feel weird when ppl try and downplay what he felt towards keeley because i think she was a big part of his development and her encouragement to be better really helped him bc she was the only one who believed he could be better and saw the good in him.
sorry this is prob total bs but this has been kicking around in my mind lately and i needed to share
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Austen Asks But For Gaskell: 6, 8, 24, 28
6. Favorite movie adaptation
There's fewer of these, so it's easier to pick :D definitely Wives and Daughters (1999). Best screenplay Andy wrote (that I have seen), pretty much Davies-ism free? Ending and a couple other bits aside, it's faithful? And I really like the cast, for the most part?. Some of it I'd even call inspired. Justine Wadell gives Molly that balance between her tendency to cry and her father's temperament and wit. One feels like Michael Gambon was born to play Squire Hamley's type. Bill Paterson is not as handsome as the character is supposed to be, but he does nail the rest. I do like Francesca Annis, though ever since I knew the 1983 radio drama had cast Angela Pleasance, she cannot be perfect XD It's a pity that Anthony Howell is so handsome, because he did well as Roger, and while I'm usually not impressed by Keeley Hawes, I think she did Cynthia well too. But I'm obsessed with Tom Hollander as Osborne. He sells it. He plays this extremely dramatic and romantic fated young man so so well. He honestly deserves more praise than he gets.
And there's of course the fabulous hair and lovely costumes too (blu ray release when BBC)
8. Least favorite couple
This is where I'd put a joke one like Lady Glenmire and the butcher from Cranford, but while I haven't finished Mary Barton, I do get the feeling I wouldn't feel deeply about that one in the end (considering Gaskell herself thought John Barton was the main tragic hero of her story, that kind of checks out).
24. Favorite supporting character
I think lord Cumnor from Wives and Daughters is underrated. He's a riot every single time he shows up, 10/10 would love to spend time with that man. There's side characters like Lady Harriet or Nicholas Higgins that have such depth and such flavor that it feels unfair not to pick them first, but... the heart wants what the heart wants I suppose XD
28. Favorite character backstory or secret
Mr Gibson's mysterious past is a sort of small running joke through Wives and Daughters, but "poor Jeanie" is such a master stroke? Mr Gibson is funny, and he loves Molly, and he grows to love Cynthia, which isn't an easy person to love. He's a good doctor too. But all the while there's a certain uncomfortable something running at the back of his personality. His jealousy of Molly is driven by the ghost of "poor Jeanie", who clearly was a victim of his passions to some degree or other (and the fact that it is never made clear what such degree is is a truly fascinating choice), and of whom we get the uncomfortable sensation that full reparations were not made to. His choice of wife in Mrs Kirkpatrick has an undercurrent of the same brand of moral failure, even if, of course, tempered by time, age, and circumstance. It's such a small thing in the scheme of the story, but it creates a distance between the reader and the character that resembles in a way the distance between him and Molly, as much as they love and understand each other.
From this ask game.
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Ted Lasso 3.08: Live Gus Reacts (except she went to bed and THEN wrote this)
So first off — as predicted, the storyline of Sam being the victim of a traumatic hate crime was strictly a one-and-done afterschool special. I am zero percent surprised but goddamn is that disappointing. Especially because this episode not only does it AGAIN with Keeley's trauma, but it also clearly shows that the writers can choose not to do it, with how they're treating Colin's storyline as an important topic that is spread out over at least four episodes. These storylines could have been given space, too, but Sudeikis has clearly chosen some characters over others, and I just... really disagree with those choices.
The episode itself!
Hey Jude, What Is This Shit
I have absolutely zero idea where the whole Henry-Ted-Michelle-Jake mess is going, but it was nice to see a glimpse into how Henry actually feels about his dad essentially abandoning him for two and a half years. (Which in the context of the show, I get — but damn it does not work like that in real life.) The comment about how Henry has the most air miles of any kid in his school indicates that he actually flies over to England pretty regularly, which is interesting; I'm guesstimating Henry's age at about 11, which is technically old enough to fly on your own but I cannot imagine how lonely that trip is.
I loved the Beard-Henry connection, though — Beard obviously does this regularly when Henry comes to visit, to the extent that he has his own apron at Ted's house, and although I don't ship Beard/Ted I definitely Get It. The Hey Jude conversation was lovely, and both Hunt and Gus Turner did a great job with that. Also Henry's growing obsession with soccer (he called it football! This is not a kid who's ever playing Pop Warner again, sorry Ted) is great for me personally and the theory that Henry will get recruited by a football academy. Maybe they'll give him drum lessons too.
As for Ted's behavior — I was actually with him about the likelihood of Jake proposing to Michelle, to the point where I didn't get how the rest of the Diamond Dogs (YES I DID FLIP MY LID AT TRENT GETTING INDUCTED, DON'T WORRY, woof indeed) were telling him he was jumping to conclusions. On the other hand, the private detective thing was... what? Like aside from being straight-up unforgivable if Michelle ever found out about it, what exactly would a PI do in this situation? How is a PI supposed to find out if Jake is gonna propose??? Just incredibly weird.
On the other other hand, it allowed Rebecca to do something she's really good at: offering advice, based on having previously done it the wrong way. The (multiple! Tedbecca nation rejoice!) conversations between her and Ted were just lovely (although I did love her "aaaaren't you supposed to be like, doing your job?" moment when he came into her office) and the point about how Ted needs to buy a fucking ladder and GET OVER IT wrt Michelle was one Ted desperately needed to hear, even though he clearly didn't actually listen, given the way he behaved with Michelle in that last scene. And that last scene — I dunno man. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In short: I like Michelle a lot, but frankly she deserves better than the guy Ted's turning into, and if the show actually puts them back together then what the fuck was this show even about.
Nate and the Rhinestone Dogs
So on the one hand, the correlation between Nate having a successful relationship and Nate coming back somewhat (and somewhat erratically, hmm) from his prime dickish behavior isn't a great look — this show really leans on the "all a man needs is the Love Of A Good Woman" and it's gross. On the other hand, I don't think that Jade is a cause of this so much as a witness to it; the moment where she notices his smile when he's looking at that picture of Ted and Henry and Beard, for example.
Also yes, I have turned around 180 on Jade — the first two episodes she was in, her character was written HORRIBLY, and everyone (including me!) who read her character as racist was absolutely right to do so. However, the show itself clearly didn't intend that, so I'm going to roll with it and focus on how she acts with Nate now — and guys, it's pretty fucking cute. I think my favorite thing about her is that she's still very much the same: she thinks he's weird! She notices details about him and has a very flat reaction! But she likes who he is, likes being around him; I love the detail that she said yes to every (hesitant, worried, still-unsure) suggestion Nate made for further hangouts. Staying over? Yes. Going out for breakfast? Sure. Another breakfast date? 👍 (Sidenote: as a fellow white lady who uses the yellow skintone, I was hilarified that Jade is also a white lady who uses the yellow skin tone.) She comes over to his house and brings him wine; she wants to celebrate with him, even though she clearly gives zero shits about football. And the moment where she agrees to the boyfriend/girlfriend monikers was adorable. I confess, they got me.
The not-quite-diamond-dogs scene was straight out of something Mohammed would write for Intelligence (his other show — btw, Mohammed is the writer and star of a whole other TV show about an American in Britain) and I watched the whole exchange with Rupert's assistant cringing with embarrassment, but the fact that Nate is trying to forge the family-style camaraderie he had in Richmond is simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking. I think the thing Nate is missing is that the Diamond Dogs are built out of mutual trust and respect; but he neither trusts nor respects any of his chosen pack at West Ham (I don't think he respects Rupert, really — fears him sure, but respect? no). Which is just as well, because these guys are useless.
The whole bit with Ted, Henry and Beard (in full Richmond regalia — I love you Beard) attending the game was honestly lovely; Henry clearly adores Nate (I want all the fics about Henry and Nate doing the same game Henry and Will did, and Henry being the one to teach it to Will). The choice Ted and Michelle have made not to tell Henry about Nate's role in Ted's public humiliation is a good one, from a parental POV, but also an interesting one from a drama POV; Ted doesn't want Henry to hate Nate, which he absolutely would if he knew. And those decisions parents make for their kids — are they the right ones? I don't know! But parenting is complicated. ANYWAY, Nate's reaction both in that moment — just incredible acting from Mohammed btw, he's so GOOD — and afterward, when he's trying desperately to put the wall up of cruel indifference after Henry's smashed it down, the whole thing just ruined me. I muttered "oh, Nate" like five times during this episode.
Keeley should have Jack, Roy and Jamie be her pallbearers when she dies, so they can let her down ONE MORE TIME
I hated everything about Keeley's storyline, because again it was traumatizing a character for the purpose of showing how other people react to her trauma — Jamie, Roy, Jack — rather than letting her be the focus. I've seen others note how passive she is in this episode, and while I think it was more holding her own ground rather than being frozen in fear, the line was a little too blurry for my taste.
I did love her retail therapy (and yes the hat/dress/polo combo was absolutely a nod to Pretty Woman, which... equating Keeley to a prostitute in the context of this storyline ain't great, but the dress was adorable) and her staunch refusal to feel shame or regret for making a sex vid for Jamie back when they were together. Because she's right — there's absolutely nothing that she did wrong, and Jack's insistence that she be embarrassed over it was the death knell for their relationship.
Re Jack: I thought it was a good character choice for her to be angry at Keeley, because as the mini-golf scene illustrates, Jack doesn't really want to admit that Keeley is her girlfriend right now. The reason is, I think, open to interpretation, but my read on it wasn't that Jack is closeted — it's that she is incredibly sensitive to her own social status, which was already imperiled by dating a former "Page 3 girl" and is now at even more risk if people know about Keeley's video. (I know Keeley Hazell was the co-writer for this episode, and I can only imagine her experience with people who have considered her hot enough to fuck but not good enough to date.) So the only way for Jack to save face is to force her girlfriend into a Repentant Sinner box, someone who had done terrible (read: sexual) things but is really truly sorry and will never do such nasty things again. Which isn't who Keeley is! She likes sex and she likes being sexy; and like she said, there's a world of difference between putting your own image out there deliberately and having private things stolen from you.
The scene between Keeley and Roy was awful, and I hated him for asking her such a shitty, invasive question — even with his visible regret and self-loathing immediately after, that is one of those things you don't come back from without a LOT of work. And no, I don't think it makes it "better" that he clearly suspected the video had been for Jamie back when they were dating — if anything, it makes it worse, since a) if he really needed the information, he could've asked Jamie and b) WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL, DUDE. This season has shown Roy to be much crueler than previously, and I don't like the notion that just as Keeley made him "better," her absence has made him "worse." As I said, this show is bad about making women responsible for the shortcomings of the men in their lives and I'm sick of it. If they do decide to go for a throuple, I hope Keeley makes Roy sweat.
The scene between Keeley and Jamie was much better, although unlike Keeley I do think Jamie should've thought to delete the emails. But she's right in that it wasn't his fault; his guilt is appropriate but not borne out of any actual malicious wrongdoing, which matters! And I found Jamie's thought process around him and Keeley and Roy to be FASCINATING; it makes sense, really, that he thought maybe he had a chance with Keeley post breakup (lol honey no), though I don't think it was their hookup in episode 1.08 that made him think that. Rather, he knows Keeley's a forgiving and openhearted person, and that she "saw the best version of himself" when no one else did, so he hoped that he could one day get that back. The moment in episode 1.10 when Roy opens Keeley's door does hit a little harder now though, since that must've been when Jamie a) realized they were together and b) first thought they were just doing it to get back at him. I don't feel sorry for Jamie, but I do feel for him.
However, the best scene was between Keeley and Rebecca, the only person who really deserves her (KeeleyBecca nation rejoice!) because she actually offered comfort and advice and support, rather than apologies or demands or jealousy. I thought their whole conversation was great, and perfectly fit both their characters — including the brief, horrifying comment about Keeley's predator teacher, because yes that's awful, but Keeley isn't the sort of person who traumadumps for sympathy. So Rebecca's somewhat blithe response rang very true to me as like, an actual conversation I'd have with my friends, vs the Ideal Modeling Behavior a lot of fandom expects characters to parrot. (This gets into a whole essay I want to write about the difference between things characters say 'in public' vs 'in private' and how a lot of times we as an audience don't think there should be any difference, even though in the real world of course you recognize that there's a difference.) Anyway, they should get married.
Oh my god this post is already longer than all the dicks Colin had to delete off his phone
The himbo conversation was absolutely amazing, including the intro where Jamie is their Lynx/Axe dealer. Love that beautiful dumdum. I don't think it's in any way realistic that a bunch of footballers would delete the pics of all the people they've slept with, but this is LassoLand where Santa is real and I was incredibly charmed by it. And I think it lead pretty naturally to the moment with Isaac and Colin — even up to Isaac grabbing Colin's phone, because again, the way you behave in public is different than the way you behave with friends (although you look me in the eye and tell me Isaac McAdoo wouldn't grab your phone if he thought you were being an asshole). Bokinni and Harris sold the shit out of that scene, but this is now the second time Colin's sexuality has been used as a cliffhanger of "will someone else hurt this marginalized person?? STAY TUNED!!!" and frankly I expected way better from Dylan Marron, the other co-writer of this episode.
I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting — I've only watched the episode once — but I'm gonna post this now before it gets any more embarrassingly long. What a weird episode. It felt like those candyfloss grapes: I'm not sure if I like them, but I did eat the whole bag.
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Baby Let the Games Begin
I'll Write Your Name Chapter 3
Roy Kent x Latina!Popstar!Reader
5.1k words
Warnings: Language, drinking, almost-nice moments ruined by Roy being Roy
Roy slouched in his chair and looked over the lineup, trying to focus his attention on Nate and Beard’s ideas after the previous night’s match. His mind kept wandering back to the club, to the lipstick stain he’d washed off his face when he got home way past his bedtime, to the way she’d danced too close to him, to the knowing looks the guys had been giving him all morning.
As his hand absently brushed over his cheek, Dani’s smile filled the doorway. Behind him, a few guys popped their heads in, looking far too eager for an early morning that followed a late night of drinking. “Good morning, Coach!” Dani chirped.
“Hmmph.” Roy nodded in acknowledgement. “Rojas.”
The striker strolled into the office casually, as if mischief wasn’t written all over his face as he eyed his coach. “Did you have a good time last night?”
Roy shrugged. “Fuckin’ guess,” he mumbled, slouching further into his chair. “You?”
“Everyone had a great time.” Dani’s smile grew as he pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. “In fact, someone had such a great time, she asked if I could give you this.”
The little slip of paper contained numbers- numbers that were already in Roy’s phone, actually. It took Roy a moment to comprehend the looks of awe on his players’ faces and the excitement on Dani’s. Oh, fuck, right.
“Wow.” Roy lifted his eyebrows, giving his best surprised look. “Me? You’re fucking serious?”
Dani’s face softened. “She liked you,” he teased. “It was very obvious. She could not stop smiling after you danced together!”
Roy nodded, praying he looked thrilled enough to satisfy the guys. “Yeah, no, it was fucking cool.” He cleared his throat and stuffed the phone number into a desk drawer. “Guess I’ll give her a call or some shit-”
“Morning, fellas!”
Roy’s heart skipped a beat as he watched Keeley squeeze past the guys to enter the office, wearing a little dress and that big smile of hers, the one that could knock Roy over any day of the week.
“Don’t you lot have training to get ready for?” she teased. As the guys left, all shouting out their congratulations at Roy- as if he did something worth congratulating- she turned her attention to the gruff manager. “Can we chat when you have a second?”
Roy nodded stupidly. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He nodded to Dani, who was the last to leave. “Thanks again, Rojas. Really.”
Once Dani shot Roy an exaggerated wink and strolled back into the changing room, Keeley whipped out her mobile. “Excellent job last night, Coach.”
She perched on the desk and showed Roy her screen, which featured a photo of Roy and a certain pop princess on the dance floor, huddled close and smiling at each other. If Roy didn’t know any better, he’d think they looked like two people in the early stages of falling in love.
With a small cough into his closed fist, Roy nodded. “Yeah, well. Glad we did a good job or whatever.”
Keeley stuffed her mobile back into her pocket. “Seriously, you two look great together. I was scrolling through some of the comments, and her fans are already obsessing over you. They’ll be calling you ‘Dad’ by the end of the month.”
“Dad?” he repeated, practically spitting the word out. “Why the fuck would they call me Dad?”
“It’s a term of endearment,” Keeley explained with a playful eyeroll. “Sometimes they call her ‘Mum’, and if they like her boyfriend, they call him ‘Dad’. Trust me, you want them to call you that. It means you’ve got their approval. And once you’ve got the fans onboard, the good press will follow.” She gave Roy a friendly little punch, the small touch leaving his skin burning. “Keep up the good work, Roy-o.”
As he watched her leave, Roy sighed to himself. Dad? What the fuck had he signed himself up for?
~
“D’you want a beer?”
“Sure.” I handed April my credit card. “And bring me a hot dog or something?”
I had dragged April along to my second Richmond game, insisting that I needed someone to chat with while I was supposed to be fawning over Roy Kent. As I waited for her to return with the drinks and snacks, I tugged at the sleeves of the Richmond sweatshirt April had bought for me. This whole thing was weird, so damn weird. My siblings had texted me about the photos of me and Roy Kent at the club- which they had seen thanks to my baby brother’s Google alert on me- and had teased me about my sudden “interest” in soccer. Of course, I’d played coy and said I was just supporting Dani Rojas, that Kent and I had just danced a little, and that he seemed nice. Of course, they didn’t see the way I wrinkled my nose as I texted those things.
Suddenly missing them, I sent a selfie with the pitch behind me, joking that the Dog Track was my new home. As I hit the Send button on our group chat, rousing cheers informed me that the team was coming onto the pitch. I cheered along with everyone else, this time adding some other names to Dani’s, like Colin and Isaac. Jamie Tartt lit up when he saw me, blowing a playful kiss. I waved coolly, keeping an eye out for-
There was that smirk. Roy raised his eyebrows when he saw me, looking pleasantly surprised despite the fact that Keeley had made sure to tell him exactly where I’d be sitting. I leaned back in my seat and raised my hand in greeting, hoping my smile and wink were playful and, more importantly, caught on someone’s camera. Roy tapped two fingers to his temple, saluting me, before turning to his team. I had to give him credit for his acting; from my seat, he almost looked like he was blushing.
“You see your man?” April’s voice was full of teasing as she resumed her seat and handed me a beer.
I rolled my eyes and took a sip before taking the hot dog she offered me. “My man,” I scoffed. “He’s not my man.”
April raised her eyebrows at me. “Not yet,” she hummed quietly. She nudged me. “You two’ve got chemistry. Even at a distance, there was some sort of spark or lightning strike or whatever you want to call it when you looked at each other.” She leaned in close to whisper, “You sure there’s not a real attraction there?”
“Do I need a new assistant?” I hissed, narrowing my eyes at her. She knew I didn’t mean it; it was my way of telling her she had succeeded in getting under my skin, one of her favorite pastimes.
Sure enough, she chuckled and nudged me playfully. “I’m just saying,” she teased. “Believe me, you could do a lot worse.”
I snorted and stole one more glance at the scowling and shouting Roy Kent. “Wanna bet?”
~
Roy tapped the side of his beer as he stared at the entrance to Ola’s. The team had decided to grab some dinner together after their match, and Dani had invited his friend to join them. The guys were tittering and shooting him what he assumed were supposed to be sly looks, which he repaid with scowls and eyerolls.
Those sly looks only got worse when the door opened and Dani led two women inside. Roy watched as the Greyhounds tripped over each other to re-introduce themselves and ask how the women liked the match. She was pretty fucking affable, Roy noted as she complimented Cockburn on his game-winning goal and laughed at whatever joke Moe Bumbercatch made. He found himself wondering how someone like her, someone who smiled so easily and seemed to have no problem charming a room full of people, could wind up with a reputation like hers, known only for the men she ran around with and the drama her “friends” dragged her into.
Her eyes lit up when she spotted Roy in his huddled little corner, almost bright enough to fool him into believing she was happy to see him. She grabbed the other woman- who Roy now recognized has her personal assistant- by the hand and pulled her away from the Greyhounds, not stopping until she stood in front of Roy, all flirtation with those batting eyelashes and that coy smile.
“Great job today, Coach,” she said with a wink.
Roy leaned back, keenly aware of the eyes that had followed her to his table. “Guess I was right about you being good luck,” he hummed with what he hoped was a flirtatious grin. “Glad you came today.”
“Me too.” She tugged the other woman closer to her. “This is my assistant, April,” she introduced, as if Roy hadn’t met the woman in Keeley’s office that very first day. “April,” she murmured, eyes still on Roy, “this is Roy Kent.”
April smiled and reached out to shake Roy’s hand. “Lovely to meet you.” Her smile turned mischievous. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
A small giggle had Roy’s ears turning red. “Stop,” the popstar whined, sounding like a teenage girl. “Go find a soccer player to flirt with, alright?” She gave April a playful shove before sliding into the seat beside Roy. Her smile remained in place as she leaned in close, looking like she was flirting and murmuring soft enough for just him to hear. “You see the photos of us online?”
Roy cleared his throat and nodded, unable to look directly at her and instead choosing to stare at his beer. “Yeah. Yeah, I saw them.” He took a sip, desperate for something to keep him distracted from how fucking close she was sitting. “Looks like the plan’s working so far.”
Her little hmmph confirmed that she agreed with him. After a moment, she nudged him; Roy’s shoulder practically burned at the contact. “You should probably, I don’t fucking know, talk to me or something?” She raised her eyebrows. “We’re supposed to be into each other, remember?”
With one of his heaving sighs, Roy forced his shoulders to relax as he finally met her gaze, a gaze that was far too attentive. “You… enjoy the game?”
Fucking hell. Was this what the next six months of his life would be like? Awkward small talk with someone who was just as disinterested in him as he was in her? Being two fish in a bowl with eyes on them all the time? Tonight, at Ola’s, it was the Greyhounds; soon it would be all of Nelson Road, and all their friends and acquaintances, and the fucking paparazzi, and all the people who’d be attending her highly anticipated European tour in the summer. Not to mention the very real possibility that one of them could find someone they were actually interested in (Roy had seen the way Jamie eyed her when she walked in), and then they’d be in a whole new mess of ending the “relationship” and dealing with blurry timelines and drama.
While Roy’s mind raced, she nodded, all at ease. “I did, actually, even though I don’t watch soccer very much.” After wrinkling her nose, she paused, eyeing him carefully, as if debating her next words. “Think I could take a picture with you?”
“I’m sorry?” Roy choked out, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sudden request.
“A picture,” she repeated slowly, a smidge of impatience dripping from her voice. “Like a selfie. I might not like soccer, but my brothers and nephews are big fans.” She took out her phone and laid it on the table. “And I learned recently that you, Roy Kent, are a pretty big fucking deal. So, if I send them a picture with you, I’ll finally be the world’s coolest sister and tía.”
Roy couldn’t help the snort that flew out of his nose. “Being one of the biggest popstars in the fucking world isn’t enough?”
She cracked a small smile. “Nope. To my brothers, I’m still just the little princess who always cried to get what she wanted.” She picked her phone back up. “So, are we taking a selfie, or do I need to get the waterworks going?”
That was… well, that was kind of funny, Roy decided. Funny enough that he didn’t argue with her, at least. Instead, he shrugged and leaned in close, reminding himself that he was supposed to look like he was interested in this woman, after all. “Take the fucking picture then,” he grumbled, mostly good-naturedly.
Almost as if she understood that this was as friendly a response as Roy Kent could give, she opened her camera. Roy was amused at the image on the screen; she had a nice smile, he admitted to himself. It was the same one he saw on album covers, the same one she offered the Greyhounds, the same one she flashed the paparazzi. Just cheesy enough to be endearing, while still holding something glamorous. Looking at the image of that smile, Roy didn’t have much choice but to give his own closed grin, coming out cool and cocky-looking, the way one would expect a retired athlete to smile with a beautiful popstar.
She quickly snapped a couple of pictures before lowering her phone, chuckling as she sent one to what Roy assumed was a family group chat. “Thanks,” she murmured, giving Roy a nod. “Like I said, they’re finally almost impressed with me.”
The gears in Roy’s head turned for a moment. “Could you send me that?” he heard himself ask. When she tilted her head at him, he cleared his throat. “My niece, she’s… a fan. And if I show her that picture, she’s going to absolutely lose her shit.”
“Anything to make a kid lose their shit.” She quickly tapped away on her mobile; Roy’s own phone buzzed a moment later. “She your only niece?” When Roy only stared at her blankly, she shrugged. “Might as well learn some shit about each other, if we’re going to be dating.”
“Right,” Roy breathed, again noting how fucking close she was sitting. “Yeah, she’s my only niece. It’s just me, my sister, and her.” After a moment, he realized she was waiting for him to ask her a question. “And you’ve got… brothers?”
She nodded, relaxing into her seat, shoulder grazing Roy’s arm. “Four brothers and a sister,” she added. “I’ve got one younger brother, everyone else is older. And I’ve got…” She counted on her fingers for a moment. “Eight nieces and nephews. My oldest niece just turned fifteen this year. We’re having her quinceañera this summer.”
“That’s the big fucking party, right? I remember Dani going back to Mexico for his cousin’s birthday, it looked like a fucking wedding.”
Her raised eyebrows looked almost impressed. “Yeah. I’m pretty excited to go home for it.” She paused, thoughtfulness crossing her face. “We’ll probably still be together,” she murmured. Her eyes were unreadable.
“Keeley’ll probably make me go then,” Roy grumbled. “Fucking hate flying all the way to the States.”
“And we’ll have to go to all the way to Los Angeles,” she added with a dry chuckle. “Eleven hours stuck on a plane together, there and back. Can you imagine anything worse?”
Roy’s eyes flittered across the restaurant to Keeley, who sat cozily with Rebecca, giggling and chattering. His chest ached, reminding him that, if Keeley asked, he’d spend twenty-four hours on a plane with this woman, no hesitation. He’d do fucking anything for Keeley.
With a sigh, he shook his head. “No,” he agreed. “I fucking can’t.”
~
“Crown and Anchor,” I mumbled to myself as I read the sign over the pub Roy had suggested we meet at. Keeley has urged us to go ahead with our first “public outing”; she’d left it up to us, but suggested something low-key enough to look real, as if we weren’t trying to catch people’s attention. After I offered to let him pick the spot, Roy had texted me the address of some pub not too far from the stadium; apparently, he’d be coming straight from work.
Sure enough, when I found him at the bar, he was wearing what I assumed was his ‘coaching uniform’: Greyhounds shirt, track pants that hugged his thighs, and sneakers. He nodded when he saw me, hand wrapped around the beer he was already half finished with.
Ignoring the stares of a small group seated at a table behind Roy, I leaned into Roy, relieved that he immediately wrapped me in a one-armed hug- a casual, friendly gesture, perfect for two people just starting a romance. He took my arm to help me onto the stool beside him and gestured to the barkeep, an older woman who eyed me carefully.
“You’re-” She stopped, raising her eyebrows at Roy. “Good for you, Roy Kent.” She leaned on the counter, offering a friendly smile. “What can I get you, love?”
I eyed Roy’s half-finished drink. “I’ll have what he’s having.”
With a smile, the barkeep quickly poured me my own beer and placed it in front of me. Roy absently tapped his glass to mine with a small clink! before taking a long drink.
“Tough day of training?” I teased before sipping my own glass; shit, would I ever get used to drinking beer that wasn’t ice-cold?
He shrugged, eyes focused on the amber liquid in his glass. “Long is more like it,” he grumbled. “Especially now that the idiots are smirking and winking at me all the time, giving me looks like they fucking know something.” Roy narrowed his eyes at me, almost playfully. “It’s all your fault, you know.”
“My apologies,” I huffed, trying not to laugh at his stony expression. My eyes landed on the darts on one end of the bar; Roy’s gaze followed.
“Want to play?” he asked, chugging the last of his beer and motioning for the barkeep to pour him another one. “Keeley said shit like playing games looks cute in photos.”
The word cute did not seem like one that should be coming out of Roy Kent’s mouth, but I ignored how humorous it sounded. “I don’t know how to play,” I admitted. “We used to have a dart board when I was a kid, but after my brother got hit in the arm, my mom made my dad take it down.”
Roy stared at me for a moment, studying me. “I could teach you.” He shrugged. “If you like.”
I glanced at the dart board. “Why the fuck not?”
With a hmmph, Roy grabbed our beers and led me over to the game, setting our drinks on a nearby table before grabbing the darts. He handed me one, careful not to let our fingers brush. “Go on,” he said, nodding to the dart board. “Want to see what I’m fucking working with.”
I stared at the dart in my hand, wincing at the embarrassment I was about to endure and preparing myself for the expletives and mockery that would surely come out of Roy Kent’s mouth. Finally, trying to reach back over twenty years in my memory to the last time I had thrown a dart, I reached back and gave what I hoped was an acceptable toss; I groaned when I saw the dart bounce off the wall far from the target and fall pathetically to the ground.
Roy retrieved the dart wordlessly and returned, mouth in a straight line as he stared at me harshly. “You’re the one that fucking hit your brother, aren’t you?”
Setting my face as expressionless as his, I folded my arms. “No comment.”
A smirk almost broke through. “Your publicist has you well-trained,” he quipped as he handed me the dart. “Better show you how it’s done before you fucking kill someone.” His eyes zeroed in on the dart in my hand for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Here, stand like this.”
Roy stood next to me, motioning for me to adjust my feet. After I mirrored his stance, he turned to stand behind me, hesitating before taking my hand, the one I held the dart in. When I turned my face to his, he was gazing at me with raised eyebrows.
“This alright?” he whispered.
I nodded, holding back the urge to gulp. “Anything for the cameras,” I joked, forcing my body to relax against his. “Get ready to trend on Twitter, Kent.”
With a hmmph, Roy pressed his chest to my back, his body warm and weirdly comfortable, and lifted my hand. “And you pull back like this,” he breathed. “And…” He moved my arm in a swift motion. “… Release.”
The dart hit the board only about an inch away from the dead center.
“Holy shit!” I squeaked, pretending I didn’t see the young couple in the corner of the pub pointing their phones in our direction. “Roy!” I jumped into his arms, acting as though learning to throw a dart was some lifelong dream.
“What the fuck are you-”
“In the corner,” I hissed in his ear. “They’re recording us. Act cute.”
Grunting, Roy wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug that lifted me off my feet, keeping his hands on my hips once he set me down. “Think you could do it on your own now?” He furrowed his brows and lowered his voice. “Or should we do that again?”
I thought for a moment. “Probably one more time,” I said quietly. “For the camera.”
“For the camera,” Roy agreed, letting me go so he could grab another dart to hand to me. “Right, so stand like before…”
Once again, his chest felt warm pressed against me, his heartbeat thumping against my back. When he took my hand in his, I observed how large his hand looked around mine, realizing I’d be holding it a lot in the coming weeks. Just like before, Roy pulled my hand back and guided it, instructing me when to let go. This time, my dart landed dead center.
In spite of myself, I turned to Roy with a giant grin. “Fucking bullseye, Kent!”
He wore a crooked smirk and held up his hand for a high-five. “Not bad,” he hummed as I slapped his palm. “Ready to try it on your own?”
Playing darts with Roy Kent wasn’t the worst way to spend an evening, I conceded. We sipped beer and took turns throwing darts, with Roy giving me pointers now that I was throwing on my own; he even admitted that I was a quick learner. In between throws, we’d glance up at the television playing soccer highlights; Roy mumbled about the men running around on the screen, telling me a bit about the players he knew, the ones he tolerated and the ones he hated. I listened carefully, realizing that, if I was going to be “dating” a soccer legend, I should know a thing or two about the game. I should also try to start calling it “football”, I thought to myself.
“Alright,” I declared after posting a photo to my Instagram, per Keeley's instructions. “I’m going to the restroom, when I get back, we play to see who’s paying the tab.”
It was the closest thing I’d seen to a full smile all night. “You’re fucking on. And I’m ordering another pint, because you’re paying.”
I rolled my eyes playfully and waved as I headed towards the restrooms. Shit, I thought to myself. I’m actually enjoying myself.
As I washed my hands before returning to the bar, I tilted my head at my reflection. Tonight was kind of fun, I admitted. Maybe, just maybe, Roy Kent and I could actually be friends. Maybe these next few months of fake-dating didn’t have to be complete torture. Maybe we’d have a good time hanging out and spending time together. Maybe-
Despite all my grumblings about this plan, I grinned at Roy as I approached him at the dartboard, where he leaned against the wall and frowned at his phone. When he didn’t look up, I cleared my throat.
“Ready to lose?” I teased.
Finally, Roy looked up at me. “Hmm?” After a moment, he shook his head and downed the rest of his beer. “I should head home,” he grumbled, slamming his glass onto the table. “Got fucking training in the morning. Early morning training with fucking Tartt.”
I glanced at my watch. “It’s only sev-”
“I said I should head home,” he repeated, wrinkling his nose. “Already paid the tab.” Without another word, he placed his hand on my lower back and steered me out of the pub, pausing only to offer a half-hearted wave to the barkeep, who smiled warmly at us on our way out the door.
“What the fuck, Kent?” I hissed as we stood on the curb in front of a giant black car. “Did something happen? I thought-”
The man growled and fished a set of keys out of his pocket. “I’m fucking old,” he muttered. “I have a bedtime on worknights. Get used to it.” He nodded to the monstrous vehicle behind him. “D’you need a ride home?”
Resisting the urge to fold my arms across my chest defiantly, I shook my head. “I can walk,” I mumbled. “Or call a car if I get sick of walking.”
“Fine.”
It felt like hours as we stared at each other, Roy’s lips parted as if he were about to speak. Finally, I nodded curtly, trying to keep my own expression relaxed, as if the man hadn’t just done a complete 180 in the time it took me to use the restroom.
“I’m going to kiss your cheek,” I whispered as I took a tiny step towards him. “Since this was a date and all.”
“Fine,” he repeated, leaning towards me.
Just like at the club, my lips brushed against his warm cheek, his beard tickling my face. I flashed him my best smile, the one I usually saved for men I actually liked.
“Goodnight, Kent,” I managed, taking a step back.
He nodded brusquely, not quite meeting my eye. “Goodnight.”
With that, he climbed into his car and drove off, leaving me on the curb with a few questions and a long walk home.
~
Roy stared at his phone as he walked into the Dog Track, as if he thought that doing so would change the Tweet that had distracted him the night before. While waiting for his “date” to return from the loo, he’d scrolled aimlessly on the app, looking for anything interesting in football news. When he saw the post with two names he knew all too well, his stomach had dropped.
He and Jamie Tartt didn’t have any sort of agreement, per se. But they both seemed to respect each other’s feelings for Keeley ever since the night they showed up on her porch and were properly scolded. The three of them had formed a close friendship, one that seemed to center mostly around doting on Phoebe and avoiding any mentions of dating and romance. Sure, Roy knew that Keeley and Jamie hung out sometimes, just like Jamie knew Roy and Keeley did the same. But seeing it online, linked with the idea of the two getting back together, had Roy gritting his teeth as he entered the already chatty changing room.
Despite knowing this conversation was better suited for a pub with some beers than their place of work- where Roy was Jamie’s boss- Roy made his way over to Jamie, who looked up at the manager with something close to awkwardness on his pretty face.
“Mornin’, Coach,” Jamie hummed.
Roy had cancelled their training that morning; Jamie was smart enough to know why.
“You two back together?” Roy’s voice was low and even. It scared Jamie and the eavesdropping Greyounds more than any shouting and swearing would.
Jamie furrowed his brows and shook his head gingerly. “’Course not.” He nodded to Roy’s phone, its screen opened to a photo of the two exes sharing a dessert. “Just friends, Coach. She had some brand deal she thought I’d be interested in, I was hungry, so we grabbed a bite. I promise, I’d tell ya if anything was going to happen.” He paused, pouting a little. “Besides, you’ve moved on, haven’t ya? Saw some photos of you two playing darts and shit.”
Oh. Fuck. Roy shrugged, praying his face was relaxed. “We’re friends,” he mumbled. “Fucking getting to know each other. That’s all.”
“In that case-” Jamie’s bravado returned, reminding Roy of the arrogant prick he’d met when Jamie first came to Richmond. His eyes were bright with teasing, and he did that stupid tongue flick that made Roy want to puke. “Put in a good word for me, yeah?”
Roy couldn’t help scoffing, telling himself it had everything to do with Jamie and nothing to do with the topic at hand. “Why the fuck d’you think she’d be interested in you?”
Tartt’s smirk widened as he winked at his obviously spying teammates. “She said it herself, didn’t she? That boyish look that I like in a man?” He gestured at his own face. “Beautiful and boyish, right here.”
Before Roy could even think, he bared his teeth at the striker, not aware of the way his fists were clenched at his sides. “Maybe she’s done with boys,” he all but spat. “Maybe she wants a real man.”
Jamie threw his hands up in surrender, eyes widening as he took in Roy’s reddening face. “Oi, Coach,” he chuckled, clearly trying to ease the tension. “I was just teasing. If you like the girl, just say so. You don’t have to go all caveman on me.”
All eyes in the changing room were on Roy, who took a step back; he hadn’t realized he was practically nose to nose with Tartt. He gave a little nod, not quite meeting the striker’s eye. “Right,” was all he could manage.
Satisfied that he had escaped another love triangle, Jamie gave Roy’s arm a friendly punch. “Now, next time you see her, could you ask about that assistant of hers? What was her name? May? April? She was fucking fit.”
Roy blinked at Jamie, barely registering what he’d just said. Instead, he sulked into his office, wondering where the fuck that little snap had come from. Probably still thinking about Jamie’s dinner with Keeley, he reasoned. That must be it. It had everything to do with Keeley and nothing to do with Jamie- or anyone else, for that matter.
Taglist: @infinetlyforgotten@ladygrey03@book-of-roses@thatonedogwithablog@misshall14@wibblywobblyvampywolfystuff@akornsworld@itswhateveripromise@purecinnamonextract@oceanncurrent@dearvoidgoodnight@hopefulromances@respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog@hotleaf-juice@emmy2811@captainorbust-blog@preciousbabypeter@shion-ah@royalestrellas @eugene-emt-roe @littleesilvia @teenwolf01 @sisinever @yagotgames @queen-of-the-downtown-scene
#roy kent i'll write your name#roy kent iwyn#he's here he's there he's every fucking where#roy kent#roy kent x reader#roy kent fanfic#roy kent fic#roy kent fanfiction#roy kent imagine#ted lasso fanfiction
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here’s a request if you have time: ted giving y/n a massage?
AN: @tedssweaters wrote a lovely little massage blurb that everyone should go read. I already had this request in my queue and of course, I went in a different (read: horny) direction lol s/o to @jarfishy for the encouragement to finish this one early 😛 two fics in one day, who am I?!
Rating: Explicit
Tags: AFAB!reader, One-Shot, Sports injury turned very sexy, Smut, Porn with barely any plot, facefucking, fingerfucking, General sexy things
Fic masterlist
-
You had been obsessed with football since you were little, your older brothers happily taught you every trick they knew while they dribbled circles around you until you were old enough to start playing against girls your own age. You had long since hung up your football dreams, though, focusing on a career in PR instead. But since you started working for AFC Richmond—and dating the head coach—you couldn’t help but want to get back on the pitch again.
Over happy hour one night you told the team how much you missed playing and they all tried to get you into a drunken round of footie on the Richmond Green, absolutely gutted when they couldn’t procure a football and the coaches told them it was too dark and they were too not-sober. But after that, the boys would occasionally drop by your office on a light practice day to invite you out and you started keeping some extra athletic clothes and boots under your desk.
“You sure it's okay,” you asked Ted each time you went to step out on the pitch, trying not to linger. Though your relationship had started completely unrelated to your employment, neither of you wanted anyone to get the wrong impression. The only people that were aware you were together were Rebecca and HR…and Keeley after that one time she had come back for something in her old desk and caught the two of you….indisposed. You had to admit the sneaking around was a little sexy, but it was a bummer in times like this when you wanted to drop a kiss on his cheek after he said, “of course! Go show those boys what-for.”
You were getting into the rhythms of playing, your lungs burning with exertion and a grin cemented to your face as you darted around. You raised a hand to Dani with a call of, “oi!” and sprinted to the ball to set yourself up for a corner kick. It felt good to score, even though you knew the boys let you have that one—granted they’d been out there for hours and you were fresh from your desk, no one could blame them for being a little slow.
You were taking the ball down the field when Sam called for a pass and you looked up for him just as O’Brien went for a slide tackle and you went down hard, with a pained grunt. Ted was hovering over you in an instant, you didn’t even know how he’d moved that quickly, and you rolled off of O’Brien and onto your stomach with a laugh.
“Jeez, I’m so sorry, you alright Y/N,” O’Brien asked with genuine remorse as he sat up on his knees, Ted right next to him his brow furrowed in concern.
“It was fair play, I’m perfectly fine Tommy Boy. Don’t apologize for that,” You went to get up but Ted stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.
“Don’t move yet, we should get you checked out,” Ted said and you looked at him like he was crazy.
“Ted, I’m fine. I’m a human woman, not a paper doll,” you laughed and Ted chuckled with you. “Just help me up, why don’t you?”
Ted held out a hand and you let him take most of your weight as you clambered up, took a step, and…shit that hurt. Not the worst you’d felt, but your thigh was cripplingly tight. You must have pulled your hamstring when you went down. Ted saw you grimace and his voice was frantic when he asked, “Woah now, what hurts?”
“Mmmf,” you grunted, “s’okay, just pulled my hamstring.” You gestured to your left leg and Ted’s hands were on you, squeezing with a pleasure-pain that made you groan as you braced yourself on his shoulder, not realizing how inappropriate this might seem to the players still gathered around. Coach Beard loudly and pointedly cleared his throat but it was too late.
“Coach, why don’t you work my hamstrings out like that, huh,” Jamie called out, his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Roy shoulder-checked him but even he smirked. Ted blushed and removed his hands immediately. You needed to get him out of here before he started apologizing and making things worse.
“Where were you when I tore my butt,” O’Brien teased and all the players laughed at that. Ted opened his mouth to say something, but you quickly cut him off.
“Ha ha,” you stuck your tongue out at Jamie and O’Brien mockingly, “come on, Coach, help me to the treatment room?” You wrapped an arm around Ted’s shoulders, your hurt leg in between so you could use him as a crutch as you limped off the pitch. He wrapped a hand around your waist to support you, being sure to keep his hand higher than necessary.
As soon as the treatment door clicked shut behind you, Ted had you wrapped tightly in his arms as if he had found you on the pitch half-dead. Thank god the actual trainer was out for the afternoon otherwise there was no way the two of you could explain this one away as platonic concern. You chuckled a little but let him hold you, his hands gripping your t-shirt as he took deep, soothing breaths.
“Ted?”
He didn’t respond but you could feel his fingers release just a smidge.
“Teddy, I’m alright sweetheart,” you whispered with light amusement and Ted sighed and let you go.
“I know, I know you just…gave me a bit of a fright seein’ you take a tumble like that. And I’m embarrassed on top of that for not keepin’ my hands to myself and almost blowing our cover. I should have told the boys to take it easy—”
“Woah, now, none of that,” you chastised, hobbling over to sit on a treatment table. “I may not have ever been a professional athlete, but I was an athlete. I know what it’s like to be knocked down, I know the symptoms of a concussion. Hell, have I told you my front incisor is an implant? Mum was pissed after that game.” You chuckled and looked over at Ted who was wincing. “Ah, come on now darling. You see people get hurt all the time. Scrapes and bruises are little badges of hon—”
“Not you,” Ted said, his voice tight and his hands fisted in his pockets. “I don’t see you get hurt all the time. It’s not because you’re a woman or because you’re not a professional or because I don’t think you can handle yourself, I just…I love you. And I don’t want to see the person I love in pain.”
Ted had never told you he loved you before and your eyes shot to his face, searching for any indication that he didn’t mean it, that he regretted saying it. But all you saw was the vulnerability of him offering his heart on a platter. You reached a hand out towards him and he stepped closer, allowing you to tug one of his fists from the pocket of his khakis.
“I love you too, Ted Lasso,” you whispered, holding his gaze as you leaned in and he met you halfway. It was easy to forget where you were and why when he kissed you like that, but when you shifted to widen your legs so he could step between them, the tug in your thigh reminded you and you grunted into his mouth, which was not the sexy sound he’d been anticipating.
“As much as I’m loving this very sexy turn of events, do you think you could get me an ice pack?”
Ted jumped into action with a smile and you slid off the table to remove your shorts so they wouldn’t get in the way, before leaning over and locking the door. Ice pack in hand, Ted turned and you could see the way his eyes lingered, but he remained focused on attending to your injury.
“Here, why don’t you lay on your stomach and I’ll hold this for you.” You did as he asked, and jumped when the freezing cold sensation hit your skin. “Did you stretch before you got out there?”
You gave Ted a sheepish look from where your head rested on your folded arms and he clucked his tongue at you. “Well if it’s alright with you, it might be helpful to massage your other leg while this one is healing to prevent this in the future. If you’re gonna be a member of my team, ya gotta be proactive in taking care of yourself, ya know?”
You smiled and nodded as he wrapped your ice-pack thigh in a towel so it wouldn’t move and stepped to your other side, rubbing massage therapy oil between his palms before he touched you. “Does that mean you’re letting me back out on the pitch, Coach?” You didn’t mean it to be seductive, but the two of you had somehow slipped into a mild coach-player roleplay, and the moan that slipped from your lips when he pressed down deep into the muscles of your thigh didn’t help.
“As if I could tell you no,” Ted responded affectionately, using both hands to grip your thigh and rub small, deep circles down the length of the muscle. He moved down to your calf, massaging slowly and humming a tune. He switched legs, skipping your injured thigh and going straight to the calf muscle and it felt like heaven, his hands warm and firm against your skin, his long fingers wrapping briefly around your ankle. He let go and you whimpered at the loss.
“How’s your back, love?”
“If I say ‘just awful’ will you keep touching me?”
Ted laughed, a full-bellied laugh that always made you giddy when you could pull it from him. You sat up and he helped you remove your shirt and bra before you laid back down, your arms to your side, and as he walked past your head for more massage oil you couldn’t help but noticed his tented khakis. You had of course felt like this was a rather sexy scenario, but you hadn’t realized how much it was affecting Ted too. He hadn’t made any untoward comments or touched you in any way that someone with a Sports Physiology degree wouldn’t. Knowing that his care for you was NOT centered on sex, that he couldn’t be distracted from looking after you just because you were mostly nude, only made you want to fuck him more.
Ted ran his hands over your back, gently first and then with more pressure. You sighed deeply when he hit the spot between your shoulder blades that always ached from working at a computer all day. He leaned closer so he could focus in on that spot but when his erection brushed your arm he quickly tilted his hips back. You wanted to tell him it was okay but you didn’t want to embarrass him, so you settled for letting him know how much you were enjoying the experience and maybe some not-so-subtle hints.
When his thumbs worked into your lower back, you spread your legs slightly and thanked your lucky stars you had picked gray underwear today. You knew he could see how wet you were by the sharp intake of breath you heard behind you.
“Feel good,” he asked, his voice a little strained, and you smiled over your shoulder at him.
“Very. What would you say if I asked you to get my glutes…Coach?”
Ted took a deep breath that he released as a groan. “I’d say we’d need to get these off.” If you could fist pump in this position you would. You were dying for him to touch you. Not that he hadn’t been, but there were certainly more sensitive areas that could use his attention. Ted removed the towel and ice pack first, letting his long fingers trail along your inner thigh and you shuddered in anticipation. He hooked his fingers in your waistband, slid down your underwear, and then…actually massaged your glutes.
It still felt amazing, but you wanted him to sink those very capable fingers into your core, to massage your clit until you were begging for release.
“Hey, Coach?”
“Hm,” Ted hummed. You couldn’t see him from this angle but he wasn’t tilting his hips back anymore and you could feel him hard against the side of your thigh.
“This is making me very fucking horny.”
Ted laughed. “Is that right? Is that you droppin’ hints that you’d like my hands…a little lower?”
“Well if you’re offering,” you joked nonchalantly as if you weren’t prepared to beg. Ted did slide his hands down but he didn’t immediately sink his fingers into you. Instead, he treated your vulva with the same care he had treated the rest of your body, a gentle but purposeful massage that made it hard to tell whether the growing slickness between your thighs was oil, arousal, or a mix of both.
“Fuck,” you whined as Ted’s middle finger parted you and made contact with your clit, but he pulled away and you grunted in frustration.
“Turn over for me darlin’.”
Ted helped so you didn’t bother your injured leg and though you were more than excited for him to go back to touching you, the real reason you felt heat pooling in your belly was getting to look at his sweet face, concern almost fully replaced with desire, his dimple deepening when his eyes locked on yours.
“Well, hello there,” you said softly and he grinned. “Appreciate the helping hand.”
“Anytime,” Ted responded as he ran his oiled hands up your belly to your peaked nipples, massaging your breasts and leaning forward to capture your moans between his own lips. You tangled your tongue with his, relishing in the slip of his fingers as he pinched at both nipples. He stood up as he trailed one hand back to its previous location. Done teasing, he wasted no time sliding two fingers into you and you tried to keep your reaction in check but you couldn’t help but whine, “Jesus, fuck Ted you feel so fucking good.”
“Shh, I’m glad, baby,” Ted said quietly, obviously not wanting to draw attention to what was currently happening in the treatment room, “just relax and let me take care of you.” He tilted his fingers up to find the soft spot inside of you that made your soul leave your body as his thumb found your clit, his other hand still alternating between your breasts. You were whimpering and whining and Ted was steadily trying to shush you but you didn’t know how he expected you to stay quiet when he was so expertly taking you apart.
“I…I can’t, fuuck, I can’t stay quiet baby.”
“You have to darlin’, you have to be good for me.”
“Mmm,” you complained but then you caught sight of his erection yet again and you ran your hand over it, smiling when he couldn’t help but press into your palm. You tugged him closer to you by his pocket, using both hands to work his pants open and Ted chuckled, “you’re just not going to let me take care of you, are you?”
You freed Ted’s length from his boxers and smiled up at him, batting your eyelashes. “I just thought something in my mouth might help me keep quiet.”
“Christ,” Ted whispered emphatically as you stroked him a few times. Somehow in all of this fingers had never stopped their slow fucking so you knew he was up to the challenge.
“You’re going to have to fuck my mouth since I don’t have the range of motion I normally do, think you can multitask?”
Ted choked on his spit and coughed, sputtering as he answered, “You’re going to be the absolute death of me.”
But it certainly wasn’t a no, and he did as you asked when you slipped the tip of him between your lips, moving slowly to match the pace of his fingers. You moaned against him, adoring the feeling of him heavy in your mouth, letting your tongue circle the seam of him when he pulled back and relaxing your jaw when he pushed back in. He picked up the pace of both his hips and his fingers and you were so close, your whole body pulsing with desire, your injury forgotten. And then Ted slid in a third finger and you were a goner, the stretch and pressure so overwhelmingly good the only thing stopping you from screaming was his dick in your mouth.
Thankfully, when he felt you clench against his fingers he stopped moving his hips, otherwise you surely would have choked. Your chest was heaving as Ted moved to pull out of your mouth but you shook your head no, leaning over to take him in hand before you released him for a gasp of air, stroking him swiftly until you could take him again. When you were ready you sat up slightly so you had more control and used both your hand and tongue to work him over, his chin tucked to his chest and his hand covering his mouth.
“I’m gonna…baby, I’m about to…” He tried to pull back, but you shook your head again and sank down as far as you could and swallowed, feeling him come down the back of your throat. Now it was Ted’s turn to gasp for air as you sucked him clean and released him.
“Can’t believe this treatment room is still haunted,” Ted said as he tucked himself back in his khakis, “you’re a goddamn succubus.”
You laughed as he helped you back into your clothes. The two of you had been missing from training for so long, you just cleaned up the treatment room and left the stadium hoping no one was suspicious. Ted shot Beard a quick text that he was helping you get home and got just a thumbs up in return.
-
A couple weeks later now fully healed, Colin stopped by your office and invited you out to the pitch again. You grinned and pulled on your athletic wear, tying up your boots before stepping out next to Ted. The two of you had decided it was long time to stop sneaking around, so this time when you asked, “you sure it’s okay” and Ted told you to get out there, you thanked him with a kiss.
Both of you looked around at the team confused when no one reacted and Ted cleared his throat, “Guess I should let y’all know that, uh, Y/N and I…”
“We know, Coach,” Sam called out with a smile. “And we’re happy for you both.” The team took to the pitch but you and Ted still looked at each other confused until Isaac came over and murmured, “Training room connects to the locker room. And it's not soundproof, bruv.” You’d never seen the color drain from Ted’s face so quickly, but you just followed Isaac out onto the pitch with a smile. It had been worth it.
And despite now knowing about you and Ted—way too much about you and Ted, it seemed—the boys didn’t take it easy on you for one second. Just the way you liked it.
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Ted Lasso s3e01 - Observations
And anyone who guessed the starting close up for s3 was Ted would be right (I thought Keeley or Roy)
I also like that we can see some gray in the stubble (he’s in England so should I say grey instead?)
Also that text...oof way to set up Ted’s headspace though. That whole start was like a punch in the gut.
I’m adding the “I remember being left at school when I was Henry’s age” story as another to my list of “Ted’s parents not showing up/abandoning him” situations in his past...”Until my dad remembered to pick me up” 😭 )
Also what a crazy story all around though
And Ted cleaning up after Henry is all kinds of heartbreaking
Still uncertain if Ted’s flat has a bedroom for Henry. I’d imagine he’d ask for one. No clue if the fort and Ted’s bedroom is where he slept and, if so, if it was because he wanted to or had too. I suppose it doesn’t matter, just a little detail.
Is that a new shower scene or did they reuse the last one? His hair looks longer in the shower than it does for the rest of the episode.
Brendan’s partner and kid!
Ted’s still nosy about Doc’s personal life which is...iffy to me but makes sense for his character
Rebecca. Rebecca. The thing is, this is exactly what Rupert’s after. Whether you win or he does is, on a deeper level, immaterial. He wants her obsessively thinking about him and he’s getting it. The truth is, West Ham will sometimes win, sometimes lose and she needs to learn how to divorce (heh) her feelings about Rupert from the game.
I’m glad that she has Higgins, Ted, and Keeley to bring her back down to what matters. I hope she starts listening. All three might need to be a bit more blunt going forward though.
Keeley babe. I think you need help. It’s 100% normal to be overwhelmed and I’m glad she’s reaching out but it sounds like maybe she’s trying to do too much too quickly.
I was thrilled that Higgins also has mascara stains. I would hate to imagine the Higgins-Rebecca-Keeley trio is gone. It thrills me that Higgins is still obviously in Keeley’s life
I love the team’s anxieties and the way Ted takes care of it. I love Jamie stepping into “Ted Lasso” for the team shortly after.
I feel like the situation with Nate and Rupert really shows how well an abuser starts a toxic relationship. Obviously they’re setting us up to look at Ted and Nate’s relationship some more this season, but I’m also hoping we get a look and Rebecca and Nate. I feel like there’s some strong parallels there. There always has been.
This is why I had Rebecca be the first one to talk to Nate in my fic “So Close”
I really thought the car thing was a good illustration of that. It’s a gift but a rather backhanded one. No fucking way Rupert didn’t know he was towing Nate’s car. He set the whole situation up.
The whole conflict between Ted and Rebecca about taking the team to the sewers was interesting to me. Something I think I need to think about. But Ted’s doing the work that needs to be done and Rebecca’s worried about image. “Rupert’s laughing at me, Ted.” But Rupert’s relationship to people and things is always shallow and condescending. He’ll always laugh at Rebecca (or otherwise look down on her). That said, she’s not 100% in the wrong, as a business owner, to be concerned about image. I’m not saying she’s right, just that she’s maybe not 100% wrong either (Ted was still right to do it, the need to get the team out of their own head was more important.) idk I need more time to think about it.
Not 100% sure I like the scene with Ted mocking himself. I get why he did it and it was effective, but particularly when it came to mocking his own mental health. It made me wince both because we know Ted’s struggling already with anxiety and probably some amount of depression and because, well, a lot of people with mental health struggles really aren’t taken seriously.
Overall, a great episode and good start to the season!
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hiiiiii would love some bi!keeley headcanons if you have any i mean its basically confirmed at this point hellooo all those lingering looks @ jack + "dip my toe in the lady pool"??? queer recognize queer ok......
Bisexual Keely headcanons, let's go:
First off, she had a maybe-crush on Rebecca at some point. Keely is definitely the type of girl to fall in love with intimidating women and wasn't sure if she was attracted to or terrified of Rebecca. Eventually she realized it didn't matter either and became her friend either way.
Also. Yes. The Jack thing. First off, the straightest thing about that woman is her hair. She has the Bisexual Bob.
When I saw the scene where Keely realizes the woman in the stall was Jack, the thing that stood out to me was obviously Keely's reaction. She would not take her eyes of Jack. Like, Shandy said something and she just vaguely muttered "Yeah..." without looking away. On top of that, she did that embarrassed nervous giggle that could have been because of the whole scene in the bathroom but legit just sounds like it was because she just met an incredibly attractive woman.
Another headcanon is that she realized she was bisexual very early on, like at age eleven or something. I also feel like someone like Michelle Pheiffer that was her bi awakening - definitely a milf kinda woman.
Also, do you remember that scene in season two? That dog kennel woman was totally obsessed with Keeley and she was loving it. Did you see her face when the woman kissed her hand?? Positively in love.
But seriously the bisexual erasure annoys me so much. Keeley's dated two men, but she likes women too. She literally told Rebecca she's had sex with women before. She was obsessed with Rebecca's boobs in that photo when they first became friends. She has said she wants to kiss Rebecca on multiple instances. Yes, Colin is the first character in a same-sex relationship but Keeley was the first queer character. I'm glad we're getting more representation, I really am, but people are ignoring Keeley left right and center. Half the fans that think she's bisexual call it a headcanon. It's not a headcanon. It's a fact.
Thanks for the ask!!
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