#i actually feel sick with nerves omg im trying so badly not to get my hopes up

[autisticpika]

woo i got a little sleep last night! i fell asleep around 4am after i finished reading my book oh man im tired xD anyways i cant stop thinking about yesterday i was talking to my friend in english and somehow the subject switched over into being about cartoons we watched as kids, and naturally i got carried away xP the conversation went from "yeah i guess i was more of a cartoon network kid than a nick kid" to "OMG did you ever see that super weird obscure cartoon called Secret Mountain Fort Awesome??? it was a super weird cartoon and it was like cancelled shortly after it aired because it did really badly and that cartoon was based off of a cartoon pilot called Uncle Grandpa and for some reason cartoon network thought releasing the show that inspired their failiure of a crappy cartoon would be a good idea and now uncle grandpa is an actual show now. isnt that pretty ballsy??" and like omg.. i thought this kid was down with me geeking out for an hour but in retrospect i think he was getting kinda sick of me xD anyways he said smth like super memorable it was along the lines of "its like your brain has an entire database of just obscure cartoon names and trivia holy crap" and that stuck with me :P i always feel like im not that Amazing of an autistic person because there are people that know Way more about my special interests that i do, especially on the internet, but i didnt really think about how much stuff about cartoons/video games ive retained and can pull out on command, i wish i had that kinda ability when it comes to schoolwork @w@ anyways sorry for the long ranty post im just in a good mood lately and im trying to be less shy about being myself in public and i think thats resulting in kind of neat reactions from people? like theres a kid in my german class that everyone picks on kinda relentlessly even if theyre just joking it gets pretty rude, but hes hinted on quite a few occasions that hes probably neurodivergent so i try relating to him a lot more and i think my german class used to think i was cool or somethin because i could crack jokes but now im taking the side of the "obnoxious kid" a lot more so im afraid people will start making fun of me too, but id rather get that instead of being an asshole just for fun like the other people the kid in question can be cool and friendly but he gets on my nerves because he likes taking my pencils a lot and hes kind of a space bubble popper xD one time he grabbed my wrist as a joke and i was Not down with that at all. but otherwise he doesnt tease me for liking pokemon and doodling it a lot in my work like other people have kind of done and sometimes we meet on the same wavelength that the girls sitting at our table dont understand, idk how to explain it? hes a fast talker idk if hes on the spectrum too or has adhd/something else but i wish i was brave enough to learn more abt him im sure hes nicer outside of class than he is in school and maybe less bubble poppy lmao idk SORRY this post got way lonher than i meant to xD i gotta go tho i may post more later, schuß!

#my posts #does anyone even read these? idc posting is like a diary i like it