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#i actually love living now but i kid u not i'm happy enough having lived this long
bloodynereid · 5 months
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Hello!! I am absolutely loving your R&R fic so far!! If you’re taking requests for more Jordan fics could you do one with a genderfluid reader who is so happy to meet another genderqueer character and they’re just so happy together and supportive? Maybe a cute coming out scene? I completely understand if that’s not something you’re comfortable writing though!! Have a nice day <33
Time and Space
pairing: jordan li x reader (sort of platonic)
tw: nothing really? slight mentions of homophobia, mentions of death, swearing - that's it i think
description: it's your first day at campus and something unexpected happens when you're trying to sort out your schedule.
a/n: ok so i'm not genderqueer myself (even if i do have my own gender things going on atm) so i genuinely hope this is written ok and respectfully. pls lmk if it isn't and i will change anything that needs to be changed. this is also more of a drabble than a one-shot but i hope you enjoy <333
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You started picking your way through all the other freshmen that were joining God U. Your suitcase hit different little bumps in the path but you kept trying to make your way to your dorm. Your powers would be incredibly helpful right now but you really didn’t want to accidentally kill someone with how busy everything was.
Supposedly you hadn’t gotten a roommate this year since your application was accepted a little later than usual, a shiver travelled through your spine as you remembered that kid had to die just for you to have a place at this school.
Shaking off the remaining anxiety you finally got to the door that was meant to open your dorm. Clutching your hand on the handle and pushing, your room was opened up to you. It was huge. It probably wouldn’t have been as huge if there was another person living with you but holy shit.
You started going through the motions of unpacking your things and changing into much more comfortable clothes. The 4-hour flight had left your clothes itchy and slightly sticky. Smoothing down the leather of your trench coat, you walked back into the fray of students. 
You heard a chime from your phone and pulling it out you realized it was your schedule. You hadn’t really decided between Crime Fighting and Performing Arts but your powers dictated that the first one was probably the better option. You had the ability to distort or rather bend space, which wouldn’t really do much if you were doing performing arts. Plus you had the worst stage fright. A little note at the end read that you should go check in with Professor Brink’s TA as soon as possible so you had all the books ready.
Taking a deep breath you put up your hands and a second later you were standing in front of the Crime Fighting school. Your face twisted into a smirk as some people ducked away from your sudden appearance before you closed your eyes again and transported. This time you appeared in the little entry room outside of Brink’s office. 
Sitting at the desk was the person you assumed was Professor Brink’s TA. They had short black hair and she was wearing a long sleeve shirt. They must not have realized you had arrived in the little space because she was still typing away at her computer.
“Uh hi?” You said, breaking the complete silence of the room. The person jumped and looked up at you with a frown.
“Sorry, didn’t see you there. Can I help you with something?”
“Oh right, yes. My schedule said I should come check with you about Professor Brink’s class.”
“Hmm let me see that. I’m Jordan by the way.”
“Y/N. Wait… you’re Jordan Li?” Your mouth dropped, this was the person who had literally made you confident enough to actually come out to your parents. They were like the coolest person ever.
“Yes…” Jordan said tentatively as they looked up at you.
“Sorry, I just had a minor freak out. Holy shit, you’re just- you are a fucking inspiration is all.” You stuttered out, the obvious star struck look on your face had Jordan slightly chuckling.
“I don’t get that a lot but thanks. Oh ok yes, Y/N L/N… oh what pronouns do you prefer today?” Jordan asked as a brilliant smile crossed their face.
“Uh just they/them, I think today? It’s subject to change though.” You said as you laughed slightly.
“Totally understand that, it’s fucking awesome isn’t it? Also your powers sound incredible. How much control do you have over them?” Jordan asked hurriedly as she stood up and motioned you to sit over at the couch.
“Enough, so I’m not exactly at an expert level but I’m slowly building up to it. Your powers are so fucking cool as well. The way you just have a million different powers is spectacular.”
“Aww thank you, most people don’t look past the whole gender thing so…”
“Honestly fuck them, it’s a huge part of us sure but it’s no different than being like any other human being.” You said as you stretched out your arms and smiled. “Oh shit I totally forgot to ask but what are your pronouns today?”
“Uh they/she but… subject to change.” Jordan said lightly, slightly mocking your words with a smile.
“Oh fuck you.”
You spent the next hour discussing everything and anything, finding people who actually accepted and had similar beliefs to you was hard in recent years. Especially with being a supe as well. Jordan also helped you figure out your schedule and got you some extra books that would help with classes. By the end of the conversation, you felt like you had gained your first real friend at school.
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ahhh ok lmk ur thoughts <3 also the reader's powers are called spatial manipulation (this is a link to the superpower wiki page if anyone is interested in reading more about it). also me actually being active wow.
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teaboot · 9 months
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15 Questions 15 Mutuals
Tagged by @lost-and-cused 💛
Are you named after anyone? Yes, a musician my mother met in Russia!
When was the last time you cried? Huh. I think like, two months back? Trigun '98 episode 23. If you know you know. (I am wrapping u up in a blanket.)
Do you have kids?  Nope! I think I might like to be a foster parent someday, though, once I have the money and the time do it properly.
Do you use sarcasm a lot? I- huh. I was gonna say yes, but honestly, not much in the last few years? I used to be so snarky and biting, like, all the time. It must have been really exhausting for the people around me. Now I think mostly it's just when I'm venting. Wild!
What sports do you play/have played?  I dunno if it's a sport if I don't compete but I enjoy martial arts! I do BJJ sometimes but I'm not very good at it, it's just for fun. Oh, and I was on a basketball team for a couple years, but I'm 5'3" and still don't know the rules so I think I was mostly just just for the body count, lol
What's the first thing you notice about other people?  Demeanor. Are you calm or tense? Loose or tightly-wound? Are you likely to explode if you encounter a perceived obstacle? Are you agreeable and easygoing? Or are you pent-up and raw and itching for a fight?
God, I don't think people realize how visibly LOUD they are when they're unhappy.
Some people are like music, moving along to their own little beat or tune, and then a heavy, harsh note walks in and you just KNOW they'll fuck up the rhythm if you brush too close. It's wild. Are they aware of it? Do they care? Who knows.
What's your eye colour?  Brown! Sorta like.... hmmmm. #622a0f in the middle, with a darker ring around the outside. (Never did relate to the 'brown eyes are boring' gang, always liked mine too much. Then again, I was the only one in my family with brown eyes, so maybe it was that.)
Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies WITH happy endings? But no, actually, I hate watching horror movies. I LIKE them, I think a lot of them are very good and it's an underrated genre, I just. Don't enjoy being scared. Or sad.
Any special talents?  I'm an artist- I enjoy watercolor, acrylic, and India ink as painting mediums, I'm rather good at realistic stippling, I'm decent at identifying animal bones, I enjoy sculpting and sewing and needle-felting, I'm finally at a point where I like to read my own writing, I enjoy interior design and have been told I'm good at it, I'm a pretty good cook, and I've been told I'm a decent singer! I can also fold incredibly tiny origami cranes, and pick up on new languages well enough for simple use.
And I be far more proud of any number of these things if I did them a little more often.
As it is, I sleep a lot.
Where were you born? British Columbia, Canada!
What are your hobbies? Lord, too many. I'm actually sewing a new battle jacket right now, and animating a short video. Also writing fan fiction. And reading! And I like to collect antique books and handmade ceramics and theater masks. And go antiquing. And I'm still learning to knit? Hhhhhhhhrrrrnnggfn I wish I could have a year off to just. Do things. I wanna take a pottery class! And do metalwork again!! I used to love making chain jewelry. Oh, I do beadwork sometimes! And paint! And I'm sloooooowly designing a guest room. Bfyvxuhfhgtjggjhgyu
Do you have any pets? Yes! Big baby bird cat. He lives out of the country now, though.
How tall are you? 160cm!
Favourite subject at school?  Art. And Metalwork. And Psychology. And Literary Analysis. (And lunch break.)
Dream job?  Okay so imagine this: There's a VERY rich eccentric hell-bent on accumulating strange art, and by some miracle they are both mentally stable and not a gigantic dickhead. They travel a lot and don't really enjoy socializing so I don't have to kiss their ass.
Twice a month I receive an automatic deposit into my bank account and in return, all they want is a reasonably steady continued production of literally whatever art. Portraits, statues, robotics, ceramics, conceptual shit, costumes, carvings, literally whatever.
And they'll cover educational expenses for it all so I can go back to college and learn screen printing and 3D animation and use the kiln and shit forever and ever, and take up apprenticeships at tattoo parlors and volunteer as a face painter and pick up photography, and just create as much beauty and love and confusion and joy as I possibly can forever and ever and ever until I die.
And I'll have enough money to own my own apartment that I'll paint in all my favourite colors, with murals and everything, and have a cat who I will of course spoil rotten, and maybe adopt a few weird and goofy kids who'll have sleepovers with their friends in the living room and play new bad music that I pretend to hate, and when they fuck up and do stupid shit like kids do, maybe I'll handle it better than my adults did.
And maybe if they like making stuff too, I can make stuff with them. And maybe I'll get to see them do it better than me. And maybe I'll get to see them do everything better than me. And maybe they'll be happier, too.
So, uh. I guess I'd like to be an artist. A sugar baby-artist? Sugar baby artist combo. I'd like to have a patron is what I mean. A sponsor. Yeah
Fifteen Mutuals*: @Melancholysage @Genderfuckedpigeon @Raspbrrytea @Qthewhatever @Sternenhimmel-mond @Mythosandsuch @Anunholymessofagirl @Ifitistobeitisuptous @Here-you-can-read-my-feelings @Meat-puddle @Catgirlwarrior @Rodeokid @Not-fae-no-sir @Inbox847 @Pip-53
*I have no idea if we're all mutuals but take this anyways
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roosterforme · 1 year
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If you’re comfortable, can you tell us about your husband?
I noticed a couple of similarities in some of your fics and I keep wondering if they’re inspired by any real life qualities you’ve found in your man.
I would love to know how y’all met and maybe a wedding story?💗🥰 thank u queen
OH MAN.... where to begin about Mr. roosterforme.... I'm sure I inadvertently draw a lot of my inspiration from my husband. Now I am so curious to know that similarities you saw in my fics to know if it's because of him!
First of all, he beta reads my fics for me occasionally, because he's literally a sexy angel. And he weirdly enough gives me Miles Teller vibes. We went to college together and lived in the same dorm our freshman year. He had a crush on me for 4+ years, and I had no idea. He was in a fraternity, so he definitely had the fuckboy vibe that I LOVE(D).
But we were friends, and we never messed around at all during college. I was also dating a guy, we'll call him Jon, for a while. (Jon is actually the one who inspired a lot of Beer Boy's character in Old Habits Die Hard). When I broke up with Jon right around graduation, I was talking to my future husband online, and mentioned I was single.
His response was to start immediately showing interest in me romantically (I learned later that he did a happy dance around his room and sang Hallelujah to the heavens). But I was like, eh, I'm not interested in dating anyone else, and we are friends...let's not fuck this up. But.... eventually I ended up sleeping with him, in what was literally supposed to be a one night stand on my end. I fought the good fight, but after about 5 weeks of that, we started dating.
So, jokes on me. I fucked around and literally found out. And now we've been married almost 11 years and have 2 kids.
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bylertruther · 1 year
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what do you think about will's line "you make [me] feel like [I'm] not a mistake at all" coming after the rain fight? he was devastated by the rain fight and thought of himself as stupid because of what mike said to him about not liking girls. he also destroyed castle byers because he was so hurt by mike's words. how does that fit into will's perception of mike as someone who has never made him feel like a mistake and who makes him feel better for being different?
(I really hope this ask doesn't come across as anti-mike or anti-byler bc I love mike and I love the ship so much, I'm just trying to understand how will's clear hurt after the rain fight and the distance from mike in lenora connects to the van scene and I'm asking you because you seem to have a good grasp on will's character)
warning: this is Extremely Long and i am Extremely Sorry, but the rain fight and what it means for their characters is one of my favorite things to talk about ever and so i have So Many Things to say abt it. sorry i lov u don't bite me pls.
no, i think it's totally fair to ask that! seriously, don't worry at all about how you come across. i don't agree with the idea that liking something = never acknowledging its flaws, so i'm always down to discuss stuff like this. i'm going to dive deep into my interpretation of the rain fight, because i feel i need to express that first in order to answer your question fully.
if i'm honest, back when it aired, the rain fight was what 100% struck down any microscopic crumb-of-a-crumb of hope that i had for byler in Any capacity, platonic or not. i finished the season and then didn't give a single shit about the show as a whole afterward, because i felt like it was such a slap in the face. not only to will, but mike, too, considering this is a character that's stood by will's side against all sorts of monsters, whether they were middle school homophobic bullies or eldritch monsters.
at the time, it was exceedingly difficult to reconcile the mike i loved and the mike i was seeing on screen, but i feel a little more clear on it now. i could be totally wrong, clouded by my own bias and perception, but here's how i see it all.
the rain fight hurt me more than anything in the entire show, because of how real it is and how neither of them are objectively wrong.
mike is in his very first relationship. it's shiny, exciting, and new. he's kissing all day, getting a rise out of authority figures, and having enough fun that he spends All of his time with her. it's not a serious relationship, but he's a kid, el is the first girl ever that isn't repulsed by him, they have an Insane trauma bond, and she's his "superman". it's not serious but it's Serious 2 Him, you know? he feels like a Big Boy now and he hides from his Very Bad Do-NOT-Touch-Or-EVER-Think-About Trauma behind this relationship. it makes him feel like he's moving forward.
will is feeling a similar sense of exhilaration and freedom. the gate was closed and the upside down has fled their world for good. hooray! he can finally be a teen again! he can finally be his version of Normal now, aka the will he was before the upside down! no more now memories, true sight, or fear that Something will come to get him, whether physically or mentally. he's a hostage unchained basically. it's summer, he has his party, and he just wants to have a good time with them. he just wants to be happy, live a little, and feel safe.
mike is seeking safety and reprieve in a girlfriend and will is seeking safety and reprieve in his friends.
but then...
mike's turning point:
mike is told that if he wants to continue to see el, he has to lie to her. so he does and then his Serious 2 Him relationship is over in a very unserious blink of an eye lol. he doesn't know how to win her back, because he doesn't actually know her, and he's understandably upset because he Wants To Have A Girlfriend Again because she's his Crutch.
he Needs her to feel Normal, but she does Not need him, which canonically makes him jealous. remember that this is something Super Important to his character, because having a girlfriend means he's Cool and Normal and Needed, which are more important than water and food to mike right now. i reiterate this, because that's mike's Entire Thing Since Forever. he Needs to keep up the act, because he doesn't like who he is without it as we learn in s4. he Needs it, desperately.
as such, this has him out of sorts and he seeks out lucas's help to win her back. we know mike, which means we know that he can get tunnel vision when he fears he might lose someone. so, this aggravates his already-negligent behaviors ("i was worrying too much about el" [paraphrased], "it's been like this all summer") and he turns into a Super Shitty Friend.
... i was going to go over will's turning point, but his journey is pretty clear, i think. everyone has a girlfriend and they all want to do girlfriend activities and they canonically forget about him in the process. he's there and yet no one sees him. ouch. lets fast forward to the fight.
will has reached his breaking point, because this campaign he's worked so hard on and is putting genuine effort into to make engaging for his friends is being treated like a joke. they're not laughing with him; his friends, his best friends are laughing at him. and that fucking Hurts. he's been trying to get them to do things they used to do, he's been trying to have fun with them in any capacity, and now that they're here... he's the fucking joke of the hour and they're quite literally jumping up and running at any opportunity to cast him aside.
so, you know what? fine. whatever. you guys win; i give up. have fun with the girls. i'm going home. lucas is shocked to the point of speechlessness at how upset will is, but mike immediately jumps into action. he softens, tries to go back to the game in earnest this time with lucas, and goes after him - almost trampling lucas - when his pleas are ignored.
will was invisible (to all, to mike) until he wasn't. (something about being careful what you wish for..?)
now, we fast forward again to the moment when will's heart is torn in two: "it's not my fault you don't like girls!"
first, let me say this: michael wheeler is a fucking bitch. we know this and we love him for it even when it hurts. that was a shitty thing to say, but... that does not make him The Shittiest Boy Alive, Ever. not even a little bit.
in season three, mike is a teenager behaving like a teenager. he felt ambushed by will's feelings and like it wasn't fair that this was all on him. ("you're the heart / without heart, we'd all fall apart"; again, the party is his responsibility, "but why is this all on me? why am i the bad guy?"; mike always has to be the leader, carrying the party on his back, but he himself doesn't get to unwind which is unfair in his eyes.) he isn't privy to will's journey like we are; he's caught up in his own world and his own shit, remember? he doesn't react super well, but will is yelling at him, very upset over something He Didn't Even Know He Was Doing All This Time ("you knew she was having trouble for a year and didn't tell me" aka this is where the "will doesn't tell mike the truth until it's too late" pattern begins), and telling him that he's the one ruining the party over some stupid girl, aka his (ex-)girlfriend, aka the girl that saved their lives, aka the girl that saved the Entire world twice so maybe don't call her stupid, will. (mike always sticks up for people, so of course he isn't going to react well to el being called stupid here, even by will.)
he shouldn't have said it, but mike is knee-jerk, cornered-animal reacting to will putting this all on mike's shoulders at the very last second after never having given him a chance to fix any of his actions. will bottled this all up and then exploded on him. of course mike isn't going to react well. of course he's going to put his foot in his mouth and say the first thing that comes to mind.
because in his mind, it really isn't his fault that will doesn't like girls lol. and it isn't HIS sole fault that the party is falling apart. not everything has to land on HIS shoulders. not everything has to be HIS responsibility.
he's a kid going through his own shit, that's lashing out at someone for lashing out at him first. it was shitty, it hurt will to his core, but i don't think mike meant to be cruel. he immediately backed down, tried to explain himself rationally (that they're all just changing and will should've expected that bc it's not like they can be the same kids forever), and then went after will (literally across town, on bikes, in the pouring rain and thunder, to his house and then to castle byers) to apologize.
he doesn't do this with anyone else—not even lucas or his own girlfriend. and when he does apologize? it's because someone is forcing him to, walking him through it, or because they did it first. mike doesn't ever make the first move or humble himself first... unless it's will. then he suddenly knows exactly what to do and what will needs from him. because he knows will and he listens to will.
everything that he did for will in that scene is precisely, word-for-word, what max told eleven that he'd do for her In The Same Episode just moments prior—but he didn't. he didn't!
he did everything he was "supposed to" without guidance or hesitation or headassery... for will.
when eleven confronts mike in season four and tells him he never says i love you, mike responds, very seriously, with "i say it." and you know what? i agree with him wholeheartedly.
mike loves will more than anyone. we're shown very clearly from the very beginning that the only person in the show that rivals his love, devotion, and loyalty for will is joyce. and will knows this! that's why mike is his bestest best friend! that's why he's hopelessly in love with him! because "max, dustin, and lucas, they're great..." but they're not mike! no one treats will the way mike does, and mike doesn't treat anyone the way he treats will! they're perfect for each other and will knows this! that's why he expected and wanted a future with mike!
and... he thought that mike wanted that, too. because THAT'S the crux of the rain fight. it isn't that will is gay. it's that will thought mike wanted Crazy Together, too! it's right there in the dialogue, what it is that they're really fighting about:
MIKE: I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never going to get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives? WILL: Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.
the fight is representative of an amalgamation of things and it cuts will's life into yet another before and after, but the point isn't that will doesn't like girls. the point was that will really thought it was always going to be them together—he thought they both wanted that; that that would be the one thing that never changed, even if they and everything else around them did.
when will is looking at a picture of them and saying "stupid.. so stupid" and RIPS IT DOWN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN HIM AND MIKE, with the memories that Start And End With Mike And His Voice Being The Focal Point, i interpret it as him feeling stupid enough to think that his feelings, his wants, and his dreams were ever reciprocated. stupid enough to believe that mike really did mean crazy together in every single way. that he meant it the way that will meant it and had always meant it.
mike is the one that brings up forever and will confirms it. he says yes, i did want that with you and i thought you wanted it, too. their argument ends there, because THAT was the real issue. You Got A Girlfriend And Replaced Me With Her; Something I Never Thought We Would Do To Each Other. THAT'S (!!!!!) the issue. THAT'S why mike looks so devastated afterward. THAT'S why he bikes in the rain to apologize. THAT'S why he looks so sheepish when will puts his dnd book in the donation box, why he's worried that Will Is Going To Replace Him With Someone Else!!! because their rain fight was about the fact that it was no longer him and mike against the world!! mike got a girlfriend and broke their unspoken promise!!
THAT'S why mike repeats "we're friends. we're. friends." at rink-o-mania, why he tried calling him all the time for Months (he felt like he'd lost will the same way that will felt like he'd lost mike last summer, their roles were perfectly and exactly reversed here), why he said that hawkins wasn't the same without him / there's no one like you, why he said they should be a team again (an Us, a We, Crazy Together; curiously after his gf breaks up with him lmao). it's the same fight all over again. "i lost you" / "i'm right here." + "friends... best friends." / "not possible." it's always about loss with these two.
that's why i feel like the rain fight doesn't contradict will's van confession. i think will's line of thinking is that mike can't help how he feels; aka, "i can't blame him for not returning my feelings / outgrowing our childhood love". and him not returning will's feelings doesn't make will feel like a mistake.
what made will feel like a mistake was his desire to go back to how things were and the realization that that was impossible. will tears down castle byers because it's too full of everything he once had and he learned the hard way that There Is No Going Back, There Is Only Going Forward. the theme of s3 is about change and will realizes this in the most heartbreaking way possible.
i hate the idea of anyone reconstructing castle byers, because the point is that will outgrew it. he can't hide through escapism in dnd or in castle byers. he has to build a life that he loves and feels safe enough in that he Doesn't Need a castle byers. (that's why s4 has him coming out of his shell wrt his sexuality and wanting to be open and honest about it as much as he can be with the ones that he loves and trusts, and he'll continue/conclude that journey in s5).
in season three:
mike learns that he doesn't Need eleven (see: how happy he was with will especially at the end, seemingly on good terms, and giddy still as he told el abt them coming over for christmas [note how he mentioned playing games in their basement for the rest of their lives in their fight vs how he's making plans to have them both over so they can play with their gifts {aka he's still thinking of will bc he Wants that future with him, too, deep down}]) ... until she kisses him, tells him she loves him, and then his brain breaks and all hell breaks lose again because the byers are literally leaving in just a couple minutes so how the FUCK is he going to deal with any of that, AND THEN in s4 when he does seem okay with being broken up with again he's then 1) reminded that she's his responsibility and 2) he needs to save her because if he doesn't then the world literally goes to hell and they all fucking die. so. yanno. that's tough. mike takes two beautiful steps forward and then gets pulled fifty steps back every time.
and will learns that hiding is not the same thing as living and that he needs to stop that if he wants to be able to move forward (see: "he's good at hiding", using dnd as an escape vs him giving away his dnd books + hopper's letter and the cave metaphor + being more open in s4 and wanting to "come clean" about being gay + the gay-coded advice he gives mike abt truth and fear).
mike definitely hurt him, but that's one moment out of a million where he's otherwise made will feel strong, loved, and capable, and will has told us that much himself more than once. will doesn't fault mike for wanting something else, someone else. he loves him without any expectation of it being reciprocated in that way.
he loves him, just because; because mike has always loved him and shown him a kindness and mercy like no other; because mike has known what he is and loved him anyway; because mike came to him and told him he didn't deserve anything after their fight, that hawkins wasn't the same without him, that the past year was weird without him, that he's more to mike than any of their other friends even after all this time, that they should be a team again as they face the end of the world together without superman's help.
because no matter what... they always love each other in a way that no one else does. even if will wants more than that, even if he aches with it, he still knows that what he has with mike is so special as it is. and that's enough for him.
mike didn't treat him any differently when their biggest concern was some mouthbreather calling him a fairy and he didn't treat him any differently after the upside down when everyone walked on eggshells around him, thinking he was about to break. mike has always treated him like a person that is strong and loved, and one sentence in the middle of a fight during a very stressful time for both of them doesn't diminish a history bursting with love.
i think what will fears isn't mike knowing he's gay, but mike knowing how will actually feels about him. i say this, because of the van confession and this line of will's in particular:
Sometimes I think it's just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel, especially to people you care about the most. Because, what if… what if they don't like the truth?
this is played with the [tender, emotional music] which we know the sound directors used for intimate moments. will is also gauging mike's reaction here, giving him a searching kind of look, like he's testing the waters. will doesn't know this, but we as viewers know that this is a conversation about mike not being able to tell eleven he loves her. it isn't a reach to say then that will is talking not about being gay, but specifically about "how [he] really [feels]" about mike. that's what scares him: his unreciprocated crush, not his sexuality.
the duffers have said that will is trying to make himself be understood in the van scene and that will cries because mike doesn't get it. if he thought that mike was a homophobe, he wouldn't want to share this about himself. instead, mike makes him feel better for his otherness in all its shades. he wants to tell mike, because he wants to be honest with him and release some of that burden from his chest. but he's scared. he's so, so unbelievably fucking scared.
because, it's exactly as will says: "what if [he doesn't] like the truth?" what if that ruins the friendship that they just rebuilt? what if eleven finds out and then it's Even More Weird and Uncomfortable for everyone involved?
and considering how self-sacrificing will is... i feel like that's his other biggest concern regarding that entire clusterfuck. he loves them both. he doesn't want to hurt them or come between what he Thinks they have, because that'd be selfish and will isn't ever selfish even when he should be.
will's line about mike making him feel better for being different has canon support from season one and two. mike's outburst in season three is an outlier in his otherwise spotless record of loving will byers to an unhinged degree. even in season four, we see that mike never stopped reaching out to will. it was will who never reached out and mike was understandably upset about that, but even then he did try to include will afterward only to get iced out which "sabotaged the whole day" in his eyes. will didn't know this, though, and that's why he behaved the way that he did. still, will knows who mike is when he's not pretending and he wants mike to know who he is when he's not hiding. the rain fight hurt will indescribably, yes, but not because of the "it's not my fault you don't like girls" line in the way that it's understandably interpreted. so... i think it all fits together just fine.
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silviakundera · 2 months
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Empresses in the Palace ep 16
"And now she dares to take away my Persian Ink!" Hard agree, my darling Hua Fei. Screwing your man is one thing, but fucking with your brows is another!! ✊
but babe, why u want to live with a baby??
Lmao look I know its A BABY but it's a fictional one and I'm amused that her palace is so crap at taking care of it. My career girl is just NOT the maternal type. Drugs the kid with crushed sleeping pills; "It works just fine on me." lmaoooooo
ffffuvk she's looking ragged in front of the emperor GURL let that baby go. Neither of you are having a good time.
Zhen Huan, I know the emperor is your dad's age but this fickle dude that might kill you or your besties someday is not the DILF protector you need, in metaphorical OR literal thunderstorms.
Empress savoring the new girl being humiliated by the new new girl 💅
While Zhen Huan plans for the long game by serving up Ling Rong. She's in it to win it now. Definitely feeling disconcerted about matchmaking her friend with her husband but willing to do it so they have a stronger backing in the palace. The first sign for me tbh that she could be empress material. And tbh for once the Empress isn't laying it on thick. LR truly has a celestial voice. Consort Yu supposedly was admired for her pipes but she has nothing on LR. The way she looks back. Yaaaasss always leave them wanting more.
That half-sister is gonna become a real problem.
me trying to picture how u draw eyebrows "like distant mountains"
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ep 17
Prince Guo is not hot but not grandpa. He's also not the source of humiliation & suffering for a busload of ladies. I'm sold! yeah, I ship it. Please bang in despair at your wasted lives at least once, thx.
Hua Fei taking a big swing to frame up Zhen Huan by poisoning the favored baby. But it's not actually that risky, because her brother is impeccable armor.
Duan Fei is the real MVP. Everyone knows she's lying but the emperor clearly respects her and isn't willing to embarass her. No more than he's willing to severely punish my gf Hua.
Hope Duan gets her revenge.
Ep 18
So the emperor totally knows Hua Fei posioned the kid that he actually likes, but General Nian's skills trump all.
I'm honestly not sure if Zhen Huan should be trying to push the emperor to not reward Hua Fei. He's gonna do what he thinks he needs to.
Half-sister Huanbi is getting on my NERVES. And finally ZH's, thank god.
Prince Guo is so chill. He just strolled by like, hey crying servant, what's up? oh, somebody dissed your look? you're doing amazing sweetie, don't worry be happy. (Exit stage left.)
I think I love him.
Our protagonist with a BIG WIN. (crowd sounds) 👏 👏 proved half-sister is a traitor and her nemesis finally annoyed the emperor enough that she'll miss a promotion.
Girl, u know I love u. You're the only one for me. But Hua Fei, darling, you really need to properly space out your scheming. It's too much. The man needs some time, space, and calm to properly ponder how much he loves & appreciates your brother.
Ep 19
This episode should be subtitled "The Tale of Two Loves' or '2 Ships For The Price of One'.
First she risks it all to sneak in to hold hands longingly and shed tender tears with her Mei Zihuang. Then romantic coincidental rescue by Prince Guo and a late night boat ride with poetry & literature musings.
And I'm winning because I ship both of them.
Not sure how I feel about Half-Sister Intervention. Huanbi's situation is fucked and in a different drama she'd be the revenge-seeking protagonist. But she's also dumb as hell to want to join the harem and give up the chance to escape to a normal life. She's seen what a hell this place is. Ultimately, she has reason to resent ZH and their family. And she has a dangerous secret. What if she flips again? Just get rid of her ASAP. It's life & death struggles over here, no space for second chances.
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dailybbq · 8 months
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HI WOW I LOVE UR ART
if possible can u drop some of ur qtaro hc's? its rare to meet another qtaro enjoyer !! :D
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! i'm always so happy to find others who enjoy him - it's been a little easier since 3-1 now that other people actually consider him :'P!! & yes of course! i have many, but i think (since it is a 'general' prompt), i will leave it to the basic headcanons on his backstory/character for now :]
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DAY 2: WHO IS HE?!
- Ethnically Puerto-Rican & Scottish-Japanese! He's fluent in Japanese, Spanish, and English (less so, he's uncertain about some pronunciations and prefers writing it out instead of speaking it) - where he grew up has certainly affected the sort of intense emphasis/descriptive language he uses in Japanese, but Spanish has also affected the style in which he speaks :D + he also really enjoys learning about other cultures (and reconnecting with his own!) through language & conversing with the people there. It's much more interesting and personal than simply... reading research other people have gathered on them.
- Transmasc non-binary; primarily uses he/him in English, él/lo in Spanish! He also finds neopronouns fun. Though he doesn't elect to use them for himself, he doesn't mind if others do!!
- Bisexual & polyamorous also :] I have a small (often not too relevant, other than me providing further context to all of those Q-taro's had to leave behind for the Death Game) headcanon that he has a boyfriend named Yusuke (友輔) who he met in high school! Yusuke's also struggled academically, to the point that he fell a year behind Q-taro — having to make-up the credits for that extra year before he could finally graduate. Soon after, when he was able to make it through his undergraduate degree, they celebrated together... and through an drunk accident, Q-taro severely injured himself. This is the incident shown in-game, and it's what plays into his struggles of realizing how much he's seemingly 'left behind' and how stagnant his life feels while Yusuke continues school, the kids at the orphanage are growing up, the team's already figured out a strategy to make up for his absence... but, well. I digress.
- Q-taro really loves taking photos of his day-to-day. Even if he's not often the one in the pictures, he loves getting to see his friends smiling at some stupid joke he made behind the camera, or taking more subtle pictures when they're casually hanging out and laughing — not purposefully smiling for the camera or anything... it feels far more genuine.
...Hence, his 'treasure' in the prize exchange is a camera the kids got for him on his birthday one year. Photos of his life before the Death Game are still in the cartridge — even the one he took of Yusuke moments before he was hospitalized and isolated from everyone he cared for. Asunaro grants him this to serve both as a reminder of his loved ones waiting for him, and of how devastated he was when he was injured and felt as if his life was passing him by. In this 'Game', his life will be stolen — and Q-taro still has a life he wants to live... he has to live...
- In any case... I also think he has a chronic limp from (physical) bullying he endured when he was younger (he never really tried to fight back, and they went harder on him because he was dark-skinned + a large kid, they assumed he could take more of a beating). He healed up well enough, and it doesn't impair his skill on the field at all, but it is noticeable when you notice him casually walking. When Asunaro replaced his limbs upon request, they still had to implement some weakness in it such that he wouldn't question or overcompensate for the limp he's always had. (& adjacently related, but I do delve more into a pre-/no-Death Game AU reference here if you're interested!)
- Additionally, I do believe he's coded in-game to have autism — whether or not it was as intentional as Gin's pre-established symptoms, it remains true in my mind... The ways in which he connects with Gin and Kai, his literal and blunt manner of addressing things (there are many instances, but particularly the start of 2-1 where he belatedly realizes that although he'd like to applaud Sara for being strong, he needs to instead focus on the fact she's still in a vulnerable place and try to support her that way... 'cause she is still a kid, even if she's trying to act like a leader right now. It's also why his later conversation with her quickly veers into the topic of 'casual life' — by way of distraction and finding comfort for her sake, because he knows Asunaro's pushing the participants' limits intentionally), the intense 'passion' he holds for many things... you must see my vision, yes...
With that, and the context of many other participants in-game canonically having schizo-spec disorders, I also headcanon him to have schizo-affective bipolar disorder. He foremost experiences auditory hallucinations, and occasionally has to double-check with those he cares for to make sure they weren't calling him, or that they didn't say something that his brain has latched onto and repeated (which, when not idly irritating, can be upsetting phrases that he internalizes). When he's experiencing manic episodes, he often goes days unable to sleep because he feels both physically and mentally restless — he'll often struggle to manage his frustration/sensory overload in his attempts to physically wear himself out (in the hopes it gets him to finally rest) & he tends to intensely focus on various inane hobbies he'll drop soon after the episode ends. This includes (but is not limited to): testing out pottery, collecting and sorting different washi tapes, researching and testing the differences in fungi, and baking (he normally just cooks; baking isn't his thing (although he loves pastries)). Q-taro also struggles immensely with articulating himself aloud (this also ties into the autism) when it comes to more lengthy or serious discussions. While he understands what he wishes to say, he can't often figure out a good way of getting it out — hence defaulting to physical touch and affection to reassure others.
- Speaking of his favored physical touch! I think he enjoys all forms of it, but ultimately prefers:
- Hugging (people are usually shorter than him, and he likes hugging them, then picking them up in the air and spinning him... though he's also fond of casual moments where he gets to lean down over someone's shoulder while they're busy and hug them like that) - Hands on one's face (when he's comforting a kid, he often holds their face to help them feel 'steady' & to make it easier to wipe away their tears (or, lets them lean into his shoulder to hide the tears), and will gently nudge their chin up when he's trying to inspire some confidence. he likes letting his loved ones close to his face, because he considers that a really vulnerable part of someone. (also... he thinks it's cute when Yusuke pinches his cheeks when he pretends to be scolding him.)) - Hand-holding!!! (it's nice, and as i've shown above... he likes being gentle with his loved ones. but, whether it's something silly like swinging their hands around, or holding their hand in public for comfort's sake, or simply something to help them ground themselves... he just enjoys knowing they're there.)
And... I think that is all I'm going to add for now!! I hope this suffices; thank you for reading through! Maybe next time I'll delve more into my hcs of how he interacts with some of the cast (or, perhaps simply draw that out :D)
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nerves-nebula · 9 months
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was wonderinv who to ask then saw ur poston art school and went . yo!
anyway can i ask hows art school? like . is it worth it?? whats the experience and everything like + do u regret ur decision to go there? (dont feel forced to answer any of these) (for context + incase it wasn’t obvious ive been wanting and thinking of going to one if ever given the chance)
Oh man, where to start. Well first of all some of the main reasons to go to art school are the resources and the connections.
If you wanna get into furniture for example, that’s a lot easier if you have access to a whole workshop with tons of different saws. I’ve learned to use three different book binders as well as done hand binding myself, which is great fun for me but idk how I’ll make money out of that.
The thing is that depending on your major/department, a lot of the stuff you do in art school you could theoretically do on your own as well. So if you think you have enough willpower to make your own schedule and find your own resources then I’d say do that, and work on building your portfolio so you can show it off if you ever get the chance. especially if you don’t really have the money for college (I’m incredibly lucky to have someone help me cuz otherwise I’d be screwed)
If I’m honest, I didn’t really want to go to college at the time of me applying. I was kind of interested in learning how to wrap cars, and I wanted to take a course in that, if you can believe it. but all of my parents kids have to go to college no matter what (as in my mom forced me to apply to college and then sent me off like “I can’t help you pay for college btw good luck!”) so it was inevitable that I was going to go to an art school. which is fine because i've also always kind of wanted to go to a school, i was just stressed about not being able to afford it haha.
THEN there's what kind of art school you're going to. I'm at one of the most prestigious fine arts schools in the USA, because though I got admitted to others, I couldn't afford to go to others. the one I'm at offered the most money, because they could afford to. Idk what I'm gonna do with this degree but im in graphic design rn so I'll probably do something in that field. and it helps that the name of my school is renowned.
but if you, say, want to get into animation you're probably going to NEED to go to an art school. even if you cant get into an animation school specifically, any art school at all is better than none when it comes to animation (I think, idk for sure i'm not interested in animation as a job. my friend is tho so maybe I'll ask him)
now, HOW is art school? WELL. I've heard this isn't uncommon, but the first year was literally actual torture. it was really really bad. it made me more suicidal than I'd been since I was 12 and it ALSO made me start cutting for the first time ever. but I survived it, and the second year was way better! (if still stressful) the first year is for where they try to kill you, and the second year is where they go "haha just kidding ok lets get into what you want to know" at least that's how it is at where I am.
DESPITE the pain, and despite how even now I'm anxious about going back, I don't regret it at all. I really like my classmates and I love my professors. I love a lot of the work I've done and the skills I've learned. I liked living on campus and being so close to all that Art Stuff, even if i was too tired all the time to ever go out to any of the events.
plus on a more personal level, anywhere is better than living with my parents. so even if it was hellish the first year, i'm at least happy that i got things done and i wasn't wasting away at home with my mom.
hope that answers all your questions :)
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flamingostalker · 2 months
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Hiiiii tagged by @bibliotheksbewohnerin thank u my friend😘
1. Are you named after anyone?
no i'm my own guy🥰
2. When was the last time you cried?
today listening to my friend's poetry. cant help being a cancer
3. Do you have kids?
no💜
4. What sports do you play/ have you played?
(nerd voice) "marching band is a sport!" (but also use to do soccer, volleyball, and tennis at different points)
5. Do you use sarcasm?
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6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
voice💪 i'm definitely an aural guy
7. What's your eye color?
brown🤎
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
yes💜
9. Any talents?
i'm good at connecting with my students. and being so stubborn/persistent i can figure a lot of things out (but on my own time🥰)
10. Where were you born?
in the city i live in now🕺
11. What are your hobbies?
reading, listening to music, making video edits, writing, buying weirdo snacks to try, kubrick staring at things
12. Do you have any pets?
my witch cat and my 3 legged dog beast
13. How tall are you?
6ft no i swear. dont look at how high i come up on a door frame no
14. Favorite subject in school?
band🤓
15. Dream job?
kind of in it right now. like not perfect by any means but like. i dont get micromanaged, i'm respected enough for people to come seek me out for help but everybody i work with has more experience so i can ask for help and they know the answer, and i love the kids and the teachers i work with so. being an slp at a special education school nobody else wants to work at rules so hard actually.
tagging: @rabbitrah @oatmilktruther @butchnoise @nordarknessdimsthesky @mxmollusca @appleteeth @aplaceofgreatersafety @vonlipwig and anybody that sees this and wants to🥰💜
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daveslutstaine · 6 months
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I was tagged by my mutual @blackccelebration for this! Thank you 💓
Were you named after anyone? Nope!
When was the last time you cried? I really don't remember. I don't cry much these days tbh
Do you have kids? Nope
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yep, especially with friends and family. I refrain from doing it in front of patients though.
What's the first thing you notice about people? The sound of their voice. Tone, mood, whether it's high or low pitched, or any accents they may have
What's your eye colour? Brown so dark it looks black, though when the sun hits my eyes you can clearly tell they're brown
Scary movies or happy endings? Both are good to me!
Any special talents? Cooking! I don't do it often due to lack of time, but when I do everyone cleans their plates!
Where were you born? The USA! More specifically, the southern US. Been living here my whole life and I don't plan on leaving. It's a quiet place where I live but I prefer it that way. Plus it's also mostly farm land, so if you drive out to the country it's so nice! You get to see so many cows, and occasionally horses and every now and again sheep! It's a beautiful place and one of the few states that hasn't been fully ruined by the influx of annoying Californians, though thankfully they mostly avoid this place and go to our neighboring state down south
What are your hobbies? Drawing, painting, storytelling, reading about anything and everything, playing the guitar, gardening, and yeah that's it. Occasionally I'll do something different like sewing but it's not often enough that I would call it a hobby of mine ya know? I do want to learn how to sword fight once I get done with the hell known as nursing school though
Have any pets? Nope
What sports do you play/have played? Well, if you consider this a sport, I used to do karate when I was little, but it got too expensive for my parents to allow me to continue. I still enjoy martial arts, but I'm more interested in HEMA than in traditional martial arts, hence why I want to do sword fighting some day!
How tall are you? 5'3 or 160 cm
Favourite subject in school? In grade school it was English and orchestra. In college it was pharmacology. It was a surprisingly easy class despite all the medications I had to memorize. It was also really fun to learn how to give injections and other meds!
Dream job? I'm not exactly sure at the moment. I'm definitely content with the career path I've chosen, but now I'm not sure what specialty I want. I'm torn between becoming a cardiac or oncology nurse. I really enjoyed the cardiac unit in the hospital I had my cardiac clinical in. Plus I really like heart stuff in general and have always had a major interest in cardiology. The heart is just a fascinating organ to me, though not as fascinating as the brain, but honestly I don't feel much of a calling towards neurology tbh. I recently had a clinical at a cancer center and it was one of the best experiences I've had thus far. I won't lie, I thought I was going to hate it. I lost a family member to cancer three years ago, so I thought I was going to come out there sobbing, but my experience was so much more positive than I expected. The staff was incredibly friendly, and the patients were so positive despite their diagnosis. The whole atmosphere was so welcoming and the patients were so well taken care of. I didn't hear a single staff member complain about anyone in the staff only areas. It was truly something else and I say that in a good way.
Many years ago when I was younger, I actually wanted to be an oncologist. Unfortunately medical school is both expensive and intense. I fell out of love with medicine and was incredibly indecisive about what I wanted to do. I originally went into nursing as a way to get my family off my back about what I was going to do with my life. But now I'm rediscovering that love again and I thank my experience at the cancer center and cardiac unit for that. I still have one semester left to go until I graduate, so hopefully God will help guide me to where I need to be. I just hope I can be a good nurse for whoever it is I'll be looking after in the future.
Anyway I'll leave it there
I now leave this an open tag!
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luffythinker · 7 months
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The fact you also dabble in Naruto is a explosion on my heart, I have so many headcanons i wanna tell you about. I always see a lot of Naruto having top scars but my headcanon is Shikamaru is the one with top scars (Cause im a huge ShikaNaru) I wanna incorporate it into my writing but i don't wanna offend anyone cause i don't have a wide knowledge of the subject. So forgive me if i'm being offensive to anyone. I cannot get the idea of in Shikamaru's Genin years he didn't really care about his chest because it wasn't prominent enough to cause him any problems, he could wear his mesh net with just a jacket, no problems. After he became a Chunin he started growing up, his chest started growing too so he used the vest to cover his chest along with a binder. His parents don't mind, his mom would appreciate a girl but if Shikamaru wants to be a boy she's happy no matter what her son is, his dad is down as well, he's proud to have a son. ANYWAY Naruto one day hanging out with him see's him sitting back without his vest watching clouds together or smg, he grows curious and ask him what that is? why's he got a short undershirt thing? Shikamaru just tells him like it is, cause he's got something he doesn't like about himself, Naruto doesn't prey too much on the issue. After the timeskip Shikamaru has gotten top surgery and he's taking hormone therapy, Naruto thought he was doing drugs the first time he saw him do it. Shikamaru laughed when he said this. Later on some more when they are actually in their realationship Naruto, a alley with 0 knowledge of anything involving gender or stuff like that touches Shikamaru's bare when he's allowed to see it ask what those scars are, he's concerned somebody tried to kill him, once again making Shikamaru laugh. Im sorry to ramble on but i love them and i wanna talk about them.
OMG OMG OMG I LITERALLY LOVE SHIKANARU
transmasc shika omg im gonna collapse, i love to think that he was able to transition so peacefully because he had a great support system, his family was good to him and let him decide how he wanted to dress, and after becoming a genin Asuma just accepted when he said he was a boy, no questions asked !!!
I fully believe he had a crush on naruto since they were kids, but yk there was 'the whole village needs to hate him' thing so he never really got to act on it or interact much. Naruto has his own things going on so he is off to save sasuke and training and really doesn't have it on his mind to think about crushes or romance.
Shika gets top surgery as soon as his chest starts to bother him, he starts taking T, he trains, he's living his life, his crush never quite goes away but it's just something that it's there.
When naruto comes back and they see each other again, he notices shika is different, but like u said, he doesn't think much of it, except he feels Things now. Naruto, to me, feels like a character that does something about things, so if he starts feeling different I can't see him pining silently for years, he's just gonna talk and do something about it, so he does.
I don't think he fully realizes what his feelings are until he talks to shikamaru, shika kisses him on the lips and that's when naruto gets what this all means and what he wants.
I also fully believe Naruto is pan, I don't think he would care about gender at all, he likes people and that's about it, but like u said!!!!!! he also doesn't know a thing about gender, hormones, etc so he is very confused when he sees shika using T for the first time. I think it's very lovely that he thinks someone tried to hurt him when he saw the top scars, I can see them sleeping together and naruto just softly tracing it with his hands and telling shikamaru how handsome he is
ok so i may have gotten a bit too excited here but I'm just very passionate about them okay!! please talk to me more, I'm also open to a lot of ships in naruto
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lucy90712 · 2 years
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Hiiii! How are u???
Can you write something where Fabio Quartaro's girlfriend/wife decides to have a natural birth and he helps her with back massages, affection and stuff like that? Thanks 🙏🏻
Fabio Quartararo- Our little family
Since Fabio and I got engaged it has been constant with people asking us when we will have kids which to start with didn't bother either of us but the more people asked the more it began to get annoying and I began to feel like it's something I should be doing even though Fabio and I had our own plan. Luckily Fabio has been really good at not letting it get to me too much and reminding me of why we were waiting which made it a lot easier to stick to our plan and ignore the pressure from others. As much it has been difficult to wait and not give into the pressure it has been so worth it as we have been able to settle into our lives together and find our forever house before we started trying. All of this has made us so incredibly happy when we found out I was pregnant like beyond anything we ever felt before which is how I knew we had made the right decision waiting. 
After finding out time has gone by so quickly and now my due date has been and gone by a few days so literally any time I could go into labour which is a scary thought but also exciting as it means soon we will get to meet our little one. My pregnancy has been tough pretty much the whole time between sickness and a lot of pain after the sickness had subsided towards the end of the first trimester. Fabio has just been the best the whole time though as in the early days he would sit with me for however long in the bathroom while I was nauseous and throwing up and would make sure I got enough sleep even if it involved him having to do extra things on top of his busy schedule. As the days went on he has also been really great at doing whatever he can to help out in general but mainly with the pain like he will give me massages each evening that he is home and get me to go on walks with him which are usually very slow but do help to ease some pain. One of the things that I've loved Fabio endlessly for is the fact that when I say I'm craving something he will drop everything and go and get it for me if we don't already have it in the house which has resulted in many very late night trips to the store but he has never once complained. 
More recently I've been going to every race with Fabio as he's been worried that I'll go into labour when he's not around so he has wanted me around to limit how far he can be if it were to happen during a race weekend. Traveling with him constantly has been fun as I love watching him race but it has really taken its toll on me and each time it has been harder and harder to deal with the journey and increasingly difficult to be on my feet as much as you have to be during a race weekend whether thats in the garage or just walking around the paddock. Luckily now its the summer break and Fabio and I have no plans to go anywhere so we are just going to be at home until this baby arrives which honestly is such a relief as I too have been worried about having to give birth in another country where we won't have all of the things we need but at least now that stress is gone. The only other stresses that remain are actually having to give birth and then having to learn how to take care of another tiny human being with no one telling you how to do it. Both of those things have been weighing on my mind but I know its normal and eventually things will work out and Fabio has been assuring me that together we will get through it which has also helped me to feel a little calmer about it all. 
With me now being overdue things are starting to get more uncomfortable by the day and all I want is for this baby just to be out so after just sitting around for the past few days today I am determined to do some things to try and induce labour. The second I woke up I was looking up things that can induce labour and making a list of them so that throughout the day I can try them out. By the time Fabio woke up I had a long list of different things to try which I showed him and some of which he laughed about but because knows just how uncomfortable I've been the last few days and even weeks he was more than happy to try all of them with me in hopes that something would work. To be able to do any of them we needed to get out of bed which has become an increasingly difficult task for me so Fabio got out of his side and ran around before grabbing my hands and pulling me up as gently as he could as to not cause any unnecessary pain while also actually helping me out of bed. Once we were both up we went downstairs together and he ran off to get the yoga ball we have had in the garage for ages so I could start on one of the things that might induce labour while we had breakfast. 
After breakfast Fabio and I both got changed which for me just meant putting on another pair of sweatpants and one of Fabio's shirts as that's all I've been wearing for a good few weeks now as it's comfortable. Once we were ready we looked at the list and decided to sort of combine a few as spicy food and driving over bumpy roads were both on the list so we decided to drive to the store and get ingredients to make food later as the roads around here can be pretty bumpy. We got into the car and and I struggled with my seatbelt for a moment before we set off and right away I understood why people say to drive over bumpy roads as it's incredibly uncomfortable and it really makes you feel the weight of the baby which I think is a good thing but who knows. The whole drive I was definitely uncomfortable but we managed to make it to the store and back with very little change in how I was feeling it was just the usual back pain and various other pains I feel during the day. 
It's starting to get more and more frustrating that seemingly nothing is happening as day by day it is getting harder to just live my daily life which is really annoying. I mean I can't get out of bed, I can't get up off the sofa and I can't even walk around for more than 2 minutes without having to stop because I'm out of breath or in pain. Each week I have been able to do less myself so now that I'm overdue things are worse than ever and that is only made even worse by the fact that my hormones are running wild and making me feel awful about not being able to do things. The fact that I can barely do anything really gets to me as I just feel so useless especially as it means Fabio has to do so much but he insists that its ok and he likes taking care of me but I still feel bad. 
Once we were back from the store I needed to sit down for a bit because as usual doing anything takes it out of me for a good few hours afterwards but Fabio went off to make me something with the ingredients we brought which I then ate but it didn't feel like it did anything. After that I kind of gave up on the list as the main other thing is walking around which I try and do during the day anyway so I'll just continue and see if it does anything this time. Fabio tried to lift my spirits and tell me that it will all be worth it when the baby is here and that I'll go into labour when the baby is ready but that didn't go down too well as I understand what he's saying but I would much rather things happen sooner rather than later. When he could see that his attempts to make me feel better were doing the exact opposite he stopped talking and just let me get out all of my feelings which did involve me crying but it actually felt really good as I've kind of been bottling up all my emotions for the past few days so it was nice to let it all out. 
For the rest of the day we gave up on the list and instead just went about our normal lives but I did try and walk around a little more and bounce on the yoga ball a bit which seemingly did nothing but I'm going to keep doing it as its not doing me any harm. Fabio still went and did some training in the afternoon but after that he came back and we organised the nursery a little more as there is a few things we hadn't put away as the baby won't be in that room for a while so we didn't see the need for it to be completely tidy. Seeing as we still have time though we decided to properly sort the room which meant I did a lot of folding clothes while Fabio actually put things away and put up some decorations we had. By the time we were done the room actually looked really good and strangely it made me feel good as it meant everything was neatly in one place and it actually seemed ready for baby. 
~~~~~~~~~~
After a long day I was happy to get in bed and get some sleep but so far that hasn't happened as it is currently 3am and I haven't slept at all because I'm just in so much pain. My back hurts and I keep getting braxton hicks which I have had before but they feel worse tonight for some reason. All night I have been tossing and turning just trying to get comfortable but I gave up a few hours ago and just sat up in bed looking at my phone but of course every so often I have to get up to use the bathroom. This time I got up and started walking but before I got to the bathroom I felt liquid running down my leg before then a gush of water went onto the floor and it was clear that my waters had broken. To start with I panicked but when I got myself together I remembered that even after your waters have broken labour can still be very long so I calmed down and decided to just clean the floor and get back into bed as my contractions weren't anywhere near as often as they need to be for us to do anything. 
When I finally got back into bed I still couldn't sleep as the contractions were just strong enough to wake me every time they happened. I thought about waking Fabio because I knew he would want to know but at the same time nothing is really happening so I decided to just let him sleep as at least one of us should get one last good night of sleep before the baby arrives. As I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon I went back to looking through my phone thinking I could just sit there until the sun comes up at least but after just a few minutes Fabio woke up and turned over to look at me straight away. It was as if he could sense something had happened as he sleeps like a rock usually and its impossible to wake him up so for him to actually wake up without me doing anything was quite unusual. 
"Are you ok?" He asked when he was a bit more awake 
"Yeah I'm fine I mean my waters broke but I'm not feeling much different to earlier" I explained 
"Thats good wait your waters broke" he exclaimed realising what I said 
"Yeah like 20 minutes ago but I promise its fine my contractions are still really far apart" I said 
"Oh my this is happening we're going to have a baby" he panicked 
"Calm down it could still be ages yet but yes it is happening" I laughed at his state of panic 
Fabio didn't calm down in fact instead he got up and ran around for a good few minutes making sure we had everything ready and that the hospital bag had everything we might need in it even though we packed it together and checked it a million times. I expected him to be a bit more calm as throughout the pregnancy he has been pretty calm and the voice of reason at times and in general life he is usually quite a calm person. However that seemingly has gone out the window as I've never seen him quite so nervous and fidgety in our whole time together which at this point is quite a few years and I was there when he was about to win the championship. Somehow I was the sensible one in the situation and I managed to calm his nerves by getting him to keep timing my contractions which seemed to work as it gave him something to do and something else to think about. 
Eventually he did calm down a bit and seemingly put the sensible side of his brain back in action as he helped me down the stairs and put all our things in the car so that when the time comes we are ready to go. He also went and got me water and some things to snack on which was much appreciated but the best thing is that he let me hold his hand whenever a contraction came so I had someone to squeeze. That is how we sat for a while with me squeezing his hand every so often while we talked and watched tv to pass the time which did quite well as quickly the sun began to rise and my contractions finally started to get closer together. As much as that meant my labour was progressing it meant that I was in a lot more pain and I was starting to rethink my decision to have a natural birth as the pain now was a lot and its only going to get worse. Fabio must have sensed my feelings as he just looked at me before telling me that I can do it and that he believes in me but also that if I change my mind it won't change how proud he'll be which made me feel a little better. 
After a few more hours the sun was well and truly up and my contractions had just reached the point where they were steadily less than 5 minutes apart which meant that it was go time which made us both a little nervous but also really excited at the same time as soon enough our baby would be in our arms. Since we already had everything in the car Fabio just grabbed his keys as well as my hand and helped me to the car stopping halfway there as a contraction hit but then continuing our short walk to the garage. The car ride itself was not fun as those bumps in the road that yesterday didn't do anything today became the bane of my existence as they made every little pain so much worse but hey at least the trip to the hospital wasn't that long so we made it pretty quickly. 
Once we made it to the hospital we checked in and they took me to a delivery room where I was hooked up to loads of monitors which were tracking a million different things and beeping all over the place. Loads of doctors also came in and checked the monitors and told me that I was 7cm dilated so with any luck it shouldn't be too much longer until its time to push. The doctor tried to joke with me as well but I was not in the mood for that although I was still polite until they left when I rolled my eyes and ranted at Fabio who just laughed which also didn't please me very much. I got my own back when my next contraction came as I squeezed his hand tighter than normal which was to make him feel bad for laughing and also because the contractions were starting to hurt more than they did before. Up until now I have been able to keep the pain mostly under control but now the pain is too much to keep under wraps so with each contraction I'm groaning louder and louder each time which I think is worrying Fabio as he never likes to see me in pain. 
The doctor was in fact wrong and things were progressing very slowly so I've been doing a lot of walking around the room and bouncing on the yoga ball which I would love to say has helped but I would be lying and if anything it is just helping to pass time rather than do anything useful. At this point everything hurts but my back is absolutely killing me because of how tense all my muscles are and because of the weight of the baby which I'm feeling now more than ever. While I was walking around Fabio stopped me and got me to sit down on the edge of the hospital bed before sitting behind me and massaging my shoulders to start with before moving down my back which felt so good and made me feel rejuvenated and like I could do this for a few more hours even though I would rather not. He kept doing the same thing every so often after I'd been walking around which helped and he kept giving me words of encouragement which kept me sane until the doctor told us it was time and he would get the team in. 
So many people entered the room and got things ready which is when things started to feel really real and I started to get all nervous again but Fabio was right there to reassure me. Once the doctored were ready I was allowed to start pushing which was a million times more painful than I thought it would be but it was way too late to turn back now so I'm going to have to get through it. With each contraction I was told to push for 10 seconds and during that time I was completely distracted by Fabio who was telling me how well I was doing each time and probably trying to get me not to squeeze his hand so tight as at one point I heard him make a small noise because I hurt him but he didn't want to tell me so he just didn't do anything. He kept doing what he was doing every time until we heard little cries which meant our baby was here and healthy and I was exhausted. 
The nurses let Fabio cut the umbilical cord before they took our baby to take all the measurements they needed but as soon as they were done they gave the baby to me. Holding our baby to my chest felt like a dream after waiting so long for this moment my heart filled with love just looking at the tiny little face in front of me and the tiny hands that were holding my finger. I looked up at Fabio and he had tears in his eyes just like I did which started to fall as soon as we caught each other's eyes because we were just so happy. All the nurses and doctors left giving us some space so I moved on the hospital bed to allow Fabio to lay next to me where we just admired the small being in front of us for a few moments before he took some pictures so that we can always look back at this moment. 
"I'm so proud of you love you did amazing" Fabio whispered as not to wake the baby 
"Thank you but" I started to say 
"No buts you just pushed a human out of you so no matter what you try and say I will still think you are amazing and I will always be proud of you no matter what you are doing" he interrupted 
"That's very sweet of you I love you" I replied 
"I love you too and our little family" he said 
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drawlfoy · 8 months
Note
I can't tell you just how heartbroken Wonders of Ohio left me. I've only ever felt that way with one other fic, and even then WoO topped it. Unlike WoO, the other fic had a very clean cut ending to it (they both died at the end rip) so I wasn't left to my own thoughts about what could've happened after. Which might be why WoO has been absolutely haunting me for the past two days, it hasn't left my mind at all. I think about certain moments, the ending, oh god ESPECIALLY THE ENDING, AT LEAST once an hour. I get that familiar feeling of my throat drying up and my eyes begin to water when I think about it. Another reason being the way you write. I was able to immerse myself into the story and imagine what I was reading in my head, one specific case of this I remember was when Draco made Reader and himself late to school. When he was fidgeting in the passengers seat, his hair unkempt, I could almost see him. I imagined draco with his messy platinum hair, wearing a muggle polo shirt because its just so posh rich kid of him, nervous as he leaned over the middle compartment into the backseat as he performed that glamour spell. I've never been very creative and imaginative but with your writing it was easy for me. It reminded me of how I was able to do the same when reading the Harry Potter books, being able to almost live in that universe in my head was so refreshing. Anyways this is really long, SORRY, but when I saw that you also had a Tumblr (as I originally read your stories on AO3) I just had to look. I scrolled through your page for a while and I gasped when I eventually saw that you posted what you started on writing for a continued ending? (I don't know how to phrase it I'm sorry 😭) I read it and while WoO is still breaking my heart over and over again, I think I'll be able to think about it for longer than 5 minutes at a time without bursting into tears now. So thank you. 🩷
AHHH i’m so upset bc i typed out a whole response and the fucking tumblr app (count ur days staff) deleted it urghhh
anyway some points i’d like to hit (apologies for the length but i just wanted to give this the response it deserved):
1) first of all THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHABKYOU this was genuinely the highlight of my whole year. people like you are the reason i write and i’m being so genuine when i say that this message is like the kind of stuff i dream about getting as a writer. so in conc i’m kissing you on the mouth you didn’t need to but you wrote all of this out and for that i’m forever grateful
2) some thoughts on the ending: first of all IM SORRY lmaoo. i’ll let u in on a little secret: i actually originally planned on a completely different ending where y/n ended up using the box right off the bat and went back to england and spent the last half of the fic learning magic and interacting with the golden trio crew/the malfoys. i told this to a few writer friends and they made me realize that it wouldn’t be as useful in actually answering the silly question that i based the whole fic on (what would draco do if he was plopped in the middle of muggle america?). i decided then that i really was more interested in learning how draco’s character would develop as he came to love someone who was fundamentally differently from him (and didn’t first go through a change that departed from her basic character traits). from then on i realized that a happy ending wouldn’t involve either of them giving up their world at the end of the summer, since they needed to grow up a little bit (and at that point i was old enough to find the idea of giving up your entire life for a relationship at 18 completely terrifying). hence the sad ending…but i think in the long run it means that they end up having a much healthier dynamic later on!
3) if you want to know about what happened after the deleted scene you found: i left the ending so open because i always thought i’d come back to write another series where i explored what happened after, but i don’t think i’ll end up doing that so i’ll tell you what i was planning. i always imagined y/n eventually going to england after graduating and getting established in her career and learning magic (because like literally who wouldn’t if presented with that option). draco is just kind of like a stay at home husband who’s just psyched to be there.
4) thank you so so much for your note about how immersive WoO was!! i’m ngl i’ve always struggled with incorporating imagery into my work. i spent my formative years avoiding anything i considered to be purple prose and that really reflected in my writing. i’m not a super visual person so if i could mention the 3 details i think are important in each scene and could just get on with the meat of the plot, i would, so i’m so thrilled to hear that it was able to give you that experience as a reader despite the fact that i’ve always been worried that i can’t 🥹 thank you again for telling me all of this bc it genuinely warmed my heart i know that this is a little disjointed but oml this like made my day
ill stop talking now because i’m gonna get even more incoherent okok but thank you!!!!! <3
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kissgoodknight · 1 year
Note
💕 pls and thank u. choose ur fighter. hahaha.
aw yissss 💖💖💖 i'm ofc gonna choose sir griffin bbcmerlin bc i have probably the most lore for them call that loredred
so griffin (born gruffudd) was born to two mages, though they did not meet either for a very long time and they show no signs of having magic. it's revealed later that their father is taliesin (who i revamped in my universe to make more sense and be better for the show so he's a lot younger). their parents left them as a baby with gaius, promising to be back for them later - but their parents never returned.
growing up, griffin was always kind of a weird child, but good and kind and playful and so loving. they always had a love of music and was gifted a lute by gaius at a fairly young age. they never really understood why they were so drawn to music their whole life, but it was undeniable. they're honestly about as close as you can get to being a bard without actually being one lmao. also fun fact they befriend all the stray cats that wonder around camelot!!
so at the start of season 1 when merlin comes to live with them griffin is.. honestly a bit standoffish. gaius is confused bc they're usually a lot nicer and a little jokester and he's like wth is going on. but it becomes clear they've got issues with abandonment bc of their parents and they're afraid that with merlin around gaius won't want them there anymore - which he works tireless to prove is not the case!!!! griffin does warm up to merlin (who tries very hard to be friendly with them) and they get rly close. he's like a big brother to them pretty much. they're a little appalled when he starts working for arthur bc "that guy was always a JERK to me, you should smother him in his sleep!" as gaius quickly reminds them SH, the king will NOT take that lightly, even from someone your age (uther does not like griffin bc they have red hair and make potions out of grass and mud and have been smarter than him since they were like 7)
shit goes crazy when mordred comes to camelot for the first time!!!! griffin insists on helping keep him safe and brings him gifts like frogs and sticks and demands to sit with him on morgana's bed, wooden training sword in hand, to protect him. also griffin has such a like.. little kid crush on morgana tbh like she's too old for them but they're baby and they can dream
as they grow up they grow closer with their family (which now includes the knights) and even with arthur, who is slowly changing over time and no longer a huge dick to them all the time and even promises to make them a knight one day, something that their younger and uneducated self had dreamt of for years. they're knighted as of the ending of season 3 when they're old enough and are proud to serve him !! they would've rather died than server uther. bitch
so at the beginning of season 5 it gets even WILDER bc mordred is reunited with this sleepy lil goofball when they're adults and he's like oh. oh i'm in love with them. and the feeling is MUTUAL and merlin fucking hates it. he is not happy about it one bit but he just has to deal. this is the first time in a long time there's genuine tension between him and griffin bc he confides in them about most things and they can't stand the way he treats mordred.
some time in season 5 griffin's powers finally come into play. they work in a very particular way but the gist that they figure out is that their abilities stem from giving hope and inspiration and breathing light and life into the world, generally in the form of song because they're literally a dnd bard what can i say and while afraid for them, mordred and their family are so proud
in my universe, which is the right and better and not poorly written rushed ending one, mordred still joins morgana because griffin gets seriously hurt and he uses magic to save them. he knows it will bring consequences but he'd rather that than lose his source of light. by camlann, griffin is heartbroken beyond belief - this call back to their fear of abandonment after all - and does not want to fight. they do come face to face with him on the battlefield but all they can do is find a place to hide together before griffin reveals that they were wounded, and passes out. the sight of him carrying their unconscious body is what makes arthur and morgana both pause their confrontation and think - this is two people they care deeply about, forced to be enemies, still finding a way to be lovers, just wanting to be safe and sound together. while things are still incredibly tense, they get griffin to safety to be healed and decide that maybe it's worth talking things out.
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mejomonster · 2 years
Text
I want majima and kiryu to fuck not even necessarily because I ship them (but I do) but because majima deserves a good time (just like hey the self indulgent fights and competitions make him and kiryu fairly happy so good for them) and there is (unfortunately for kiryu) no one closer to kiryu right now. If majimas getting intimate might as well give kiryu some emotional support in the event
I'm playing yakuza kiwami and like ;-; kiryus closest person was his pro nishiki, who he went to prison and took the blame of Murder for, who he left their like best friend yuki in charge of protecting but yuki got lost too, Rina liked nishiki too and she's heartbroken by thar distance Too so her and kiryu are both in similar boats of loss but not the type to connect but more like experience in parallel (like slightly distant friends), Date is a comrad but kiryu is not Super Close to the dude. Haruka he is getting attached to cause hes overall kind at core and relates to her as an orphan and knew her aunt and feels bad about her aunt and mom and her safety. So like long term? Yeah he's gonna get attached and see her like a daughter I'm betting. But in the short term that doesn't mean he opens his heart and its burdens on a kid, and kiryus also responsible so he's trying NOT to dump his issues on a kid when he's the one parenting/protecting. So like.... nishiki who's the only one he'd fathom seeing him dump his heart on (even just interpreting it as such since kiryu tends to Stay Stoic) is gone. The two girls you befriend at the cabaret are wonderful, but they're friends like Yuki at best but not even as close in some ways like his Actual Background/work since they don't have that shared history. So nishiki was IT, HIS Homeboy, his bro, his best friend, his person he protected who knew their life and wanted to protect kiryu too and kiryus loved ones too even tho nishiki struggled at it. And he's out as a close confidant now ;-; he's drawing a line and closing kiryu out.
So the closest contender to someone understanding kiryu emotionally and his Full scope of who he is, what he's going through, and being allowed to even fathom venting it? It's majima. Kiryu wouldn't even want to. It would reveal potential Real weakness. And majima knows that too, does this dance to keep them "rivals" so they're allowed to socialize (and Have fun and let off stress in a,way they both actually like whether it's fights or pocket circuit racing or bowling lol - but mainly fighting which majima clearly does to Not kill but keep kiryu prepared so he keeps Living and Succeeding and so they both get to socialize without getting in trouble). Majima can't just buddy up to him, He's Shimanos man and Shimano is against the family kiryu was in, OFTEN against whatever the fuck kiryus up to. Majima can spare kiryu by not killing him (which majima certainly was capable of early game shown by how he purposely throws fights when u get out of jail to help u practice). And can tip him off about Shimanos moves occasionally. But that's already way friendlier than his position generally wants him to be. But majima sees a kindred spirit in kiryu - someone who values their own freedom of choice and acts, sticks to their own morals and self (no matter how stubbornly stupid kiryu seems to ppl sometimes for it majimas gotta admire the sheer refusal to change lol). Majimas goal from his introduction in kiwami is to slyly push you to Shape the fuck up so you'll survive as a yakuza, cause he likes interacting with you and doesnr wanna see you dead from this life for being as Hard Headed as you are (so you better get tough enough to survive as thar stubborn). As far as I can tell gameplay wise that's his function in the game, to keep you leveled up and prepared. And in the story that function along with his behavior translates to secretly/silently caring if kiryu is okay, wanting kiryu to have at least Himself as an outlet he can let go with and be himself with to a degree. An outlet for both of them, and a physical series of pleas to kiryu to Please survive so I can keep having you around to socialize with.
The scene where majima kidnaps Haruka I am still reeling over trying to figure out what it means for majimas motives, and if the game knows what it meant lol. The game itself first presents it like crossing a line and dangerous (now he's a real villain like ALL the ppl after haruka), then things continue and kiryu isn't treating it as urgent or worried once he sees majima and hears Haruka (compared to how life and death he treats it when Haruka is taken to that bar and dates there and Haruka is grazed with a bullet and almost shot). So kiryu oddly doesn't see majima as the same level of threat.
But I personally did in the scene see majima as potentially one, and I think majima wanted to be viewed as fully capable of being a danger to kiryu. I think underneath the big act, majima was doing the following. I think he was trying to 1. Show kiryu that in this life even ur "friends" or allies may turn on you and kill people and kill you or harm you or cross YOUR lines, and you have to figure out how to handle it and survive/get ur goal done (which foreshadows nicely when Nishiki and his people will do this later - a much more deadly Real threat to haruka than majima was and another person kiryu doesn't see as his enemy but may NEED to be able to view as one). 2. Majima is working for the yakuza, and all of them are after Haruka, and why the fuck wouldn't he do it too? It makes him look useful, look like he's working, and it means Haruka in is his hands and kiryus life in is his hands - and he can ensure they don't die as easily necessarily. And if he's lucky stubborn kiryu learns his FUCKING BLIND SPOTS from this and then in the future prevents yet another kidnapping of Haruka and danger to himself (unfortunately kiryu fucks up and she's kidnapped again later... but majima certainly gave him a learning scenario to try and learn from experience). 3. He did want to come off personally as a threat to kiryu. So get the kid, so kiryu rakes it more serious than if it's just them. Because in this life they live, they may need to be real enemies at some point. And majima needs to cope with and practice that possibly as much as he'd like kiryu to Understand that and handle that burden too. The bitter fact majima wants to be close, be friends, even Gets kiryus motives in some regards and certainly gets his stubborn resolution to his own decisions. But majima knows he doesn't get to trust and open up and he can't promise Anyone he won't hurt them, not for sure. So it's a big moment for majima.
Then it all ends? With majima getting stabbed to protect kiryu, and saying he's the only one allowed to kill kiryu. I don't think he meant to get hurt on purpose- tho needing the hospital certainly means now he has a good excuse to not help the yakuza kidnap Haruka, not help the yakuza chasing kiryu. (And his nonstop smoke breaks so u don't fight him that for me happened to align with after that lol in my 0laythrpugh definitely added to other feeling he really doesn't wanna be told to get u around then). But getting hurt on purpose both unexpectedly communicates to kiryu and the player that in at least some fucked up way majima does want you to be okay. And it also communicates he Wants you to get thst he IS a potential threat to you, as friendly as he otherwise is (like pocket circuit racing ToT). And that again he needs you to Understand that. That when you bond he wants to be close and be allowed to be, with you wrll aware of how dangerous he may have to be later and letting him bond anyway. He needs you to know he might kill you, that betrayal might always happen and that you accepted that and knew that. It's a really bizarre show of intimacy and yet it says so much raw personal shit that's hard to describe, when he takes that knife for kiryu and says only he gets to kill him.
Anyway tldr if kiryu was gonna get intimate emotionally wirh anyone (we aren't even talking fucking anymore, even a quiet walk by a river or sit down to lean against each other or drink to lament what's going on) majima is The person he's emotionally most able to click with rn. And tbh their fights are the closest kiryu is getting to that ability to vent and get support in the game in a way at times.
Also. Love these characters.
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silentxxsoul · 2 years
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The 'Season Sex...I mean Season Six' reaction dump
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^ Live look @ me, rejoicing my fruity lil firefighters are back on my screen
Last year my attention was divided by October Baseball and this show.
This year is not last year, and we do not speak of the Red Sox atm bc it makes me sad.
However, fantasy football is in full swing and literally all three of my top players play tonight, so this (as if it isn't already) will be a complete shit show of 911 feels and me yelling about grown men chasing a football across the field.
Anyway, quick top of mind predictions to look back on to see how wildly wrong I am:
Buck has dinner with the Diaz boys and laments about Bobby not thinking he was put together enough to be interim captain when Chris hits him with "Buck, you don't even have a couch."
For legal reasons, that will make it into a fic of mine (that will only exist on my hard drive) if it isn't in the show.
Buckley-Han family feels, primarily we get talking Jee-Yun and some good quality therapy time for Madney. I'm still firmly in the camp that the 'non spoilers' was for Madney moving back in together permanently, but I literally can't get Bobby helping May move into the dorms out of my head and y'all...I'm emotional.
Bobby already talked to Hen about the captain thing and she declined, but then reconsiders after Lucy's niece took her out.
Buck himbo moments, and the o/u of facts spewing is set at 3.5. I'm taking the over btw
So much of Eddie 'Heart Eyes Diaz'. Seriously, I need so much of that man on my screen. Especially with his smitten 'can't stop looking at my husband' faces.
HenRen celebrating Hen's promo, because they deserve all the fluffy and lovey scenes
aaaaaaaand now on to the *actual* reactions
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I'll be honest P!ATD opening S6 was not on my bingo card lmao
*narrator voice* Something in fact, did happen
Maddie is back and all is well ahhhhhhhhhhhh ♥♥♥
Driver Buck is back ??????? say less
The anxiety while she searches for the other backpack is killing me
Eddie back in action I just --
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Like, on one hand I'm bummed the blimp thing was that fast but on the other hand it leaves so much room for activities (see: domestic 118)
BUCK COOKING AT THE LOFT WHILE HIS HUSBAND AND KID PLAY BOARD GAMES I MEAN THE FAN FIC WRITERS KEEP WINNING
CHRISTOPHER LMAO
Seriously, like father like son. 🥰
I mean, this whole fucking domestic scene made my heart explode like, you're going to look at me and tell me that I'm wrong? Those men are married, your honor.
Wood chippers are a hard no from me, no way sounds like a good time to check in on the Bills game
WHAT A FUCKING TERRIBLE TIME TO LOOK BACK I REPEAT TERRIBLE TIMING WTF
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pretty on brand for 911 tho
Neither did I Eddie, neither did I.
Eddie is so over Buck's antics, I can't lmao
Like father, like clipboard toting-overprepared son
I could never have the willpower or patience to win a car that way, and that's coming from someone who was two seconds from torching my own car because it once again exploded coolant from a random orifice.
Eddie nailing the disappointed dad tone before wanting to yell at a bitch 😂
Buck looks way too happy to be toting a saw around 🤣
Y'all they weren't joking about packing in the emergencies
I love, love, love the friendship between Athena and Hen ♥♥♥
YES MADDIE OVER COME THE PROBLEMS AND GET YOUR HAPPY ENDING PLS PLS PLS IM BEGGING YOUUUUUUU
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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(full disclosure I was pretty sure his hand wasn't aiming for her hand 🤭)
Oh so they hooked up hooked up and he ghosted oh no no no no no
Eddie sipping coffee like the little gossip he is 🥰🥰🥰
Also can we just salivate appreciate the arms on that man I mean wowwwwwww
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MADNEY IS BACK BITCHES
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So hear me out, Buck helps Eddie by patching his walls, Eddie helps Buck pick a couch by moving him into his house, sharing his bed, and wooing the fuck out of his husband
Buck baby, I'm begging you to stop while you are a head bc she's going to eat you alive
The look of realization on Bobby's face I'm crying
Anyway, I need them to have a serious talk bc Buck is clearly spiraling and oh christ the couch 🤣
Was that Eddie doing curls in the background ????
Yo you can't just have him walk around with a chair like that I need a little warning here
I'm going to need 8-10 business days to process everything in this episode, most centering around that dinner scene because aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*insert buddie manifest circle*
Like I barely remember this all started with the poor girl and her temporary heart, and we went through a whole ass rollercoaster to get to the end.
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What a cliffy to end on WHATTTTTTT
I'm going to need 8-10 business days to process everything in this episode, most centering around that dinner scene because aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*insert buddie manifest circle*
Like I barely remember this all started with the poor girl and her temporary heart, and we went through a whole ass rollercoaster to get to the end
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nuclearforest · 1 year
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Hello phrend. 😎 2deep4me writer asks:
What's the fic you're most proud of?
13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?
14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?
15. How do you think your writing has improved over time?
Thank u for the ask!! Makes me very happy and lets me ramble abt stuff!
1, Honestly hard to say. Like, I'm proud of One Dog Night because it was the first thing I ever posted and like, really snowballed me into doing more and putting myself out there more. But on the other hand, Month to Love a Werewolf is the first multi-chapter piece I finished! And now Sirens' Guard Dog is on the way. I think those are my big three-- but as far as picking one goes?
It's really hard to say. I can't pick my favorite child lol.
13, Depends on if it is anon online or IRL.
Online? hell yeah i'm proud of being fully unhinged for my blorbo. almost at 350k in 2 years and like. ~300k of that is hans. my really sad sack awful blorbo who i love with all my little heart. stinky, stupid wolfman with a flair for the dramatic.
But IRL? I am a professional with a career you wouldn't catch me dead bringing up writing or fanfic in public. like, my folks asked me once over a holiday why I was on my laptop and what i was writing and i immediately had to bullshit that it was some stupid literary analysis to keep my skills sharp when, uh, it was really werewolf smut. very, very close to being busted but they aren't curious enough to press and i'm a fool not a coward.
THE ONLY EXCEPTION is when i am around those friends that are my enablers and don't care lmao. They think it's funny and it's on brand. Alternatively it's just one facet of the strange little gremlin they've let into their lives. I mean well--promise.
14, yeah. like, healthy or not i'm always out here comparing myself in both good ways and bad. some for learning new styles and tricks and broadening my horizons, but some for like. competitive purposes. and there's nothing to be competitive about but i've been in competitive schooling all my life and for a kid who grew up with little self confidence feeding on the praise of being "gifted" it really sticks with you. so there are many a conscious reminder that it's all for fun. that i shouldn't stress and that it's for me, even if some of that is a lie (i mean, come on--sometimes i'll write shit to brighten somebody's day but generally it's whatever catches my fancy).
but like, old habits die hard and i'm hungry for kudos and comments lmao. usually it doesn't get bad but if it does, i just bury my head in a different crafty pile of sand.
15, I HAVE A TIMELINE. we'll summarize it as exponential improvement and development tho lol.
nobody here will see the shit i wrote in middle school. we're talking paper journal self insert fic that i wrote chapters and chapters of (granted these were like, 100-ish words a chapter). talk about humble beginnings.
move to highschool and i have some fanfic and also a bit of OC work that I share in my school's creative writing club (bruh I STILL wasn't sharing fanfic).
in college I didn't write much. too busy under an engineering course load but i have a few things here and there. mostly fun little snippets of fluff to keep myself occupied.
but that said, now that i'm working and trying to live my best life, i've definitely gotten better in coherent plotlines, length, and fleshing out the details. i still have all the old stuff (even the paper journals, somewhere) and a decade+ later it's meteoric improvement lol. when i wrote One Dog Night that was the longest single story I'd written by a mile. and now i'm on a long chapter work i've updated weekly since i started it following an outline. i'm boggling my own mind.
but that said: i've always been creative and colorful, have not always been able to actually finish a story. funny enough, i've also never had a formal, regular beta and something tells me that won't change soon. (altho sometimes I do ask for a second set of eyes-- so thanks to y'all that have done it for me!)
can't wait to see how i keep growing!
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