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#i actually really really like it

I mean, probably stuff anyone who has been in the fandom long enough has already read, but:

bradray:

bradnate

Do No Harm, doc/nate .. LOVE IT

there might be a lot of pwp in this fandom, and it’s good, but then you get stuff with an actual plot that’s actually good and you wonder

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(tw homophobia) why are so many ppl making jokes about amy coney barrett’s confirmation into the supreme court and the plan to erase marriage equality? it’s one thing to use humor as a coping mechanism, but i can’t look at social media for more than 2 minutes at a time without a post or a tiktok or an insta story saying “hey i’m not bi i’m bilingual!! 😅” like please shut up. it’s not funny to me at all it’s terrifying. when i’m upset about politics i like to go online to educate myself and to also hear other people’s insights and comments and it feels safer than just sitting with my anxious thoughts but i just can’t do this when every two seconds people are joking about what could hugely impact my fucking future. and i’ve heard that same joke fifty fucking times now it’s not even original y'all are just copying each other for views. can y'all at least pretend to actually care more about human rights than getting some attention?

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sometimes i think “nahhh i was completely fine as a kid, just a bit weird maybe” & then i remember the sheer amount i cried/burst into tears at primary school whenever i: “wasn’t sure” abt something (which i would now be able to explain such a predicament better), wasn’t sure what to do n was terrified of being wrong but the teacher didn’t answer me before moving on so i panicked, couldn’t explain something right and was afraid i messed up in some way, or worse, if i was wrong or even slightly “in trouble”, and how almost any of that just ruined my day half the time.

& then i think yea, maybe that might be something. but hell if i know what

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so i guess…… the keiji contract decision is logic v. emotion as well….?

i literally cannot stop thinking about this choice.

so, there’s three possibilities of what could happen to keiji– he could die either way, live either way, or midori could actually be saying the truth and one choice will kill him while the other will save him.

the most boring outcome to me is the first. imagine sara deciding to bear the consequences of signing the contract and keiji still dies 😶😶 assuming the contract is a bad thing, in the first place. though that’s what it’s framed as, we can’t really be sure. the only guess i have as to what it’ll do is kill the dolls, but i think it’s more likely that it’ll be something unprecedented. also, i’d just be really upset if keiji died here. i still want to see him grow !!

if one choice kills him and one doesn’t, i still wonder what the consequences will be of us saving him. it’d really suck to have to make that choice blind but it’s very interesting–

the one possibility i’m PARTICULARLY interested in, though, is if he doesn’t die either way. it would make the cliffhanger a little disingenuous, sure, but it’d be cool if we as sara had to face the consequences of choosing to let keiji die, then having him be alive regardless and know of our decision. imagine if whether or not u chose to save him or not had a bearing on how his character would develop for the rest of the game… omg.

and that last one is kinda where i’d think the logic v. emotion theme would tie in more heavily, if it did. because if this decision counted in terms of whether you’re going on an emotional route or a logical one, then signing the contract to save keiji would be the “good” choice, right? but it seems like such a bad decision to make when you have absolutely no idea of the repercussions of that choice.

idk man. i just think it’d be REALLY cool if our choice had an effect on his character in that way wjdhsj, especially since keiji’s been somewhat influenced by sara thus far. and since we’ve had an impact on people’s characters thru our decisions with say, the shin lives route, where we make him a vengeful regretful and vaguely logical version of himself that is significantly skewed from his typical nature.

but yeah idk :’D i’m so excited for 3-1b

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The last thing I saw yesterday before I passed out was that one of my friends was getting a tattoo n I knew what he was gonna get done cuz he’s told me but anyways I proceeded to have a dream in which said friend had gotten tattooed these dots in his face in the shape of a dachshund

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i find ham dani as a protagonist so refreshing… it’s mostly that her pov is so honest* in ways i just really enjoy like this bit where she’s talking about how she didn’t want to fall in love with any of the four boys because she could not bear the fact that at any moment they could turn their eyes to ban yeoryung instead and that she would be so utterly jealous she would leave ban yeoryung and then yeoryung would crumble without her – and she’s so frank about it all, truthfully acknowledging the fact that yeoryung is “in a different league” than her and that she gets jealous about it sometimes and has to work not to be jealous because ban yeoryung needs her at her side. i just feel like most ppl would shy away from that sort of honesty in fear of undermining their protagonist (who of course must be The Most Beautiful Of Them All^tm even when She Isn’t) but dani is so practical she doesn’t hide that

*she does hide other things, but i think it’s because she’s mostly trying to hide them from herself rather than the audience which is also very fun to see

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i think alex g is becoming one of my favorite artists 

#his older work is really amazing but distinct from his newer albums like house of sugar, #though rocket resembles winner & race a lot, #I've listened to a good amount of his music now especially his unreleased i'd say race is one of my favoirte albums atm, #and i just like individual songs over albums honestly bc house of sugar/trick/dsu are amazingg but, #i like a handful of songs from each of his studio albums, #and more so his unreleased music like a little bit more or ive ust been listening 2 a lot of his old old old stuff, #lately, #i swear this man has like 300 songs actually, #its crazy theres so much its kind of fun to be discovering all of his old stuff atm, #a lot of his older works remind me of elliott smith tbh like ik its annoying that, #he gets compared 2 elliott A lot but its true. esp stuff off of winner &race, #though ive listened 2 some songsthat sound like violent femmes & hes also gotten comapred to, #nick drake (dont really hear it tbh) / modest mouse lol, #anyway i liked him b4 and a lot of his experimental stuff is really good from like dsu/beach music/houe of sugar but, #Listening to his old music did it 4 me tbh.. now i really love his work, #and its just cool 2 see the differences btwn his old work (esp the really old songs from like when he was in hs) and his recent albums, #his recent albums r definitely moer refined, #and so interesting sonically, #like songs like poison root/southern sky/brick... idk theyre just fun to lsiten 2 and, #i think just listening to his old work which is def more unrefined (not in a bad way) & raw idk.. made me really like him
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Your honor,
there’s a picture on your wall
that I can’t afford -
there are voices in this room
I don’t recognize;

Now I understand what it meant when you said
I can’t wear my blood stains like medals.

Falling back is easy,
perhaps not as easy as I believe -
the ground kilometers below
but I think that the cliff
is just a step on a staircase.

I never enjoyed being molded
into this statue of disrespect
that speaks with it’s stone-hard mouth
about stupid illusions like ‘perfect’,
never more dismorphed
than when i tried to fit.

Your honor,
do you ever get court room anxiety?
I would understand, personal stages
I’m far too familiar
with LED-blindness.

The suitor doesn’t see me,
he keeps looking back
as he screams at me
'who do you want to be?’ -
the lawyer’s getting ready,
papers over papers,
terms and conditions,
but I hear myself saying
I won’t need his defense.

Court room confusion -
the rose between my teeth is a dying weed
and I hate to admit that my tears don’t glitter.

Falling back is easy -
but far not as easy as I believe.

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