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suckmetal · 5 years

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BlackKrossHouse_01_ September_19th_2017_Don't wake up Jeremy*

"Don’t wake up Jeremy."

I open my eyes to find myself on the upstairs hallway, did I go in a trance again? How long has it been? I don't remember what I was even doing before hand...

It is so dark, I'll try to turn on the lights so I can see where I'm going....

No power sooo power cut?

From what I can make out in the darkness was that I was upstairs in front of a door, my bedroom door.

I should be getting to bed before my housemates notice I'm out of bed and have a go at me for whatever reason, I don’t want to be blamed for another fight.

Supported Living wasn’t as fine and Dandy as I thought it to be, in my head I thought we’d all be a big happy special needs family, it’s more a prison and I’m rarely out of that stuffy shoebox room due to bullying.

I’m not allowed to stand up for myself or else I’ll be accused of bullying. I’d want to get back in my room before they notice I’m outside!

The doors locked? Damn!

and I can't find my keys in my pocket so I'm hoping maybe they are downstairs? And still there I hope for my sake that she hasn't taken them, I don't want her breaking into my room, stealing and violating my stuff, like those last few times she was able to get her little fat fingers on my keys.

I walk down the stairs untill I reach the middle landing, an unpleasent feeling stops me in my tracks as I stand before the wall of black hiding the stairs below, shouldn't it be illuminated with the moons light at least? like the other areas? I'm getting a sense of intense unease like something about this was wrong, like I felt...targeted?

I could always get my keys tomorrow I'll be up early enough anyway before she wakes up.

I turn away when a scream blasts into my ears

"RUN"

My legs automatically obey the voice and I run up the stairs hearing thundering footsteps behind me and once I see my door in sight I slam my body onto the door.

Shit it's locked! DUH Why didn't I think? My keys are down stairs!Now I'm dead!

Maybe it’s for the best...

I am bracing for it, the footsteps are slowing as it draws nearer possibly savouring my torment, my heart almost escaping my chest as I wait there accepting my fate.

I close my eyes crying, waiting.

"Don't move and control your fear"

"Wha?"

"SHHHH! do as I say!" the voice whispered.

I take a big breath and I freeze instincts compelling me to do so, as I let my mind go blank remembering my techniques for whenever I have the paralysing panic attacks in public.

I feel it breath down my neck and I restrain the need to even shiver or give up and let it have me.

After what seemed a long time I felt it leave and I heard it return to downstairs.

I let out a shuddering breath feeling faint as all that compressed panic returns with a vengeance, the door unlocked from the other side opening revealing my best friend, the voice who guided me.

He opens out his arms and I run to embrace him tears spilling down my cold face and my form trembling, he locked the door behind me comfortly swaying me side to side securing me in his arms, I'm so scared and I stay close to him.

"It's okay, it's okay I'm here" He says soothingly.

"It's want it to stop!" I whimper letting out ugly sobbing noises and sniffling noises unable to breathe proberly "I want to get out of here and never come back! I hate it! I hate it! I HATE THEM! I hate seeing these things! I want it to end! But I can’t do it because I’m a fucking coward!" I choked my airways tightening.

"Now what good would that do to anyone? You still have so much ahead of you and one day you’ll escape from this and never turn back. Then everything will be okay and I’ll make sure your okay.... shhhh" He hushes continuing to sway.

His name is Dejavu (although I like to call him VuVu)hes my best friend who's like family to me, who’s the one been with me since I was little and is my guide throughout life, he helped me through all the times my Gran humiliated me, hit me, patronised me and degraded me, he healed every hurt inflicted on the cruel words of my family and now the cruel actions of the staff and my housemates.

I have tried remaining optimistic, you know like”at least I have a roof over my head” and “it could be worse and besides it’s not like they know better, they have higher needs then you”

I just wish that optimism was there when I needed it most, when at times I feel nothing matters, not even the things I enjoy doing, when I had those urges...

Anyway! Let’s get back to the tale, I do have a funny feeling he took most of my memories of Gran, I don’t know I just do.

I know they are still there but I can’t remember, sometimes I think it’s a good think I don’t remember because anything that’s associated with them fills me with a heavy feeling I’m unable to recognise, that’s why I put all those memories in a box and put it away.

Maybe that’s where Dejavu gets his name from.

I would spend days in my room like a prison, starving, unwashed and tired afraid to dare venture out my room because every time they will start drama with me and if I stood up for myself it would be seen as bullying.

I have Anemia, and due to starvation I hallucinate as I’ve never in my life hallucinated before, I don't have any other Disorders other than Aspergers to make me see things sooo it must be something to do with my living habits, stress, lack of food and sleep likely being the main culprits, all of which are directly linked to my housemates and staff.

Reasons for these problems is because these girls were allowed to steal my things if I dared to leave them unattended, or that one time I left the door open my remaining food went missing from the fridge in my room (I had a fridge in there because I was sick of them raiding my paid food located in the bottom drawer in fridge in the kitchen, but because I hardly leave my room to top up food from the shop I mostly starve), they're allowed to hit me, allowed to scream lies in my face for effect and talk about me behind my back.

They're allowed to do this simply because they've got more special needs then me, more rights then me whilst I'm just a mental case with Aspergers... according to the staff meant to have my best interests at heart.... sometimes I think that why should I take their needs in consideration when they don’t take mine in consideration?

Well that's my "Supported living" for you...

The staff hate me and I can’t imagine why as I treat them like guests and I always treat people with respect, I make sure they’re fed and give the beverages of their choices, cheer them up even though sympathy isn’t my strong suit and make them laugh even if my humour isn’t the best.

Was it because of that one time I yelled at my housemate and said those hurtful things because she yelled at me? I thought I was bad at letting petty issues go...

They call me a selfish Heartless bully and a useless lazy fuck because I won't come out my room, I hear them saying these hurtful things behind my back in the garden when I have my bedroom window open.

There's only been three staff that understood, but unfortunatly they aren't around often. Of course I have pros and cons to where I am now, I have freedom to do what I like away from my family now when when I lived with Gran I wasn’t allowed to do what I liked or even express anything, I wasn’t even allowed to get away so I had to fight for it.

My own family pretty much ignore the fact this is happening and remind me that I put this on myself by getting involved with social services and they are staying out of my drama, just because it got so hard with Gran that I couldn't do anything I wanted without being screamed and spat at and I got sick of it.

But the cons to it is that it’s damaging my mental health, I won’t tell anyone else because I will be labelled as an Attention seeker which is what I was called by my family for as long as I remember, I really really hate that word and how it’s thrown around needlessly.

It’s getting so bad that

I have paralysing panic attacks every single day and I usually lie in the fetal position on my bed as my body tenses in on itself in agony, attacks so bad I can't even scream.

Anxiety isn’t an unusual thing for me to have, as I’ve dealt with this as long as I remember but before I only had to deal with one panic attack each week or two.

It's no point to even scream anyway they'll just tell me how much of a drama queen or attention seeker I am anyway and VuVu would always be there when I need him, he’s always been there and that’s all I really need, he may not be “real” but he’s the only one who really cares and I care for him back.

I wouldn’t think he’s a hallucination or a delusion, he feels real to me, we grew up together and if it wasn’t for him I really wouldn’t be here right now..

I hope he is real because unlike everyone else, I don’t want to have more things wrong with me, I don’t want to be locked away in a mental ward like Gran tells me every time I suggest mental help.

-----------------------------------

He allowed me to cry into his sweater for some time until I composed myself.

"Better?"

"Yeah... best be getting to bed" I say wiping my eyes, all that panic and crying took out the remaining energy I had and boy am I drained, energy and patience has been in very short supply for me in these times.

I get into bed and he comes over sitting by my side. Just before I get comfortable I feel a vibration under my body which makes me jump, not like I wanted another mental breakdown thank you very much!

"Ugh! Oh.. it's my phone! Haha..." I laugh nervously unlocking it to see the text.

It was a text by nan and... a strange one, why would she text at 3:00 in the morning.

*You woke up Jeremy*

"Err VuVu?-" I ask but VuVu is gone and the air turns cold. --

--The supposed locked door opens, did he go out without me realising? I don't like this...-

-"Dejavu?-"

Without warning a deformed creature with a receding hairline and naked long bony arms bursts into my room on all fours and leaps onto me shaking it's hideous head wildly.

"ARGH!" I scream as I bolt up right in a cold sweat.

Another nightmare but thankfully VuVu is still here but... he's standing face against the wall at the bottom of my bedroom.

"Oh VuVu am I glad to see you..." I breath in relief.

He doesn't answer he stands over staying at the wall.

"Vu?"

"You have bought a lot of dark influences into this place... your negative energy is influenced by them-"

"What are you talking about?" I say cutting him off confused.

He slowly turns around slowly approaching me with a cold look in his eyes. My eyes widen and worry starts to rise.

"Vu you're scaring me... please I just had a nightmare...don't do this..." I whimper, he stops and looks up.

"Sorry..." He says and a moments silence took over.

"Are you okay?" I ask concerned, why is he acting like this? It's unusual and it's creepy, there's something wrong.

He then returned to his usual smile like nothing was wrong.

"You know what don't worry about it! I'll sort it out now it's 3:00 am bed college tomorrow and you're not pulling off an all nighters again right?" He grins but no matter how much he hides it I can see fear in his eyes, something I never saw in him before, I drop it feeling it wouldn't be a good idea to ask.

"Goodnight"

"Night...."

With that he fades away in the air returning to my mind, what did he mean by dark influences? I hardly call hexes much of dark influences as they are low level dark magic of course.

I close my eyes forgetting what happened earlier for now, reciting my housemates name in my head, what I want happening to her and allowing as much hatred as I can muster to make sure this spell is a success like all the others I’ve casted.

I already caused a staff member to have an accident on her bike and giveing her a really bad sprain, I even tried it a second time and she broke her leg going down the stairs the next day.

The proof I needed that these things, work if you perform them right.

Memorising what's written on a peice of paper under my pillow, I await what's to come to her tomorrow with a grin on my face.

I don’t have it in me to dish out revenge directly in person, so this technique is just for me and the best thing is they’ll never know.

They’ll all be sorry

————————————————

Based on real life and on a dream I had. I hope you took no offence reading this and I’m sorry if you did but I like to turn my most horrible experiences into stories. I did change my friends name and the name of the house in this story but that’s the only changes I made. Or at least I’m aware of.

Stay awesome folks.

#horror #creepy #dreams

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