Tumgik
#i also don’t know why one of them is apparently sized differently on tumblr
helloquotemyfoot · 2 years
Note
QUOTE!!! 😍 12, 17, 21 for the weird writing asks. Any or all if you want. <3
Sorry this is a bit late!!
12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules
Okay wow this is mean, I can only have three? Ughhh okay I think my wishes would be 1) better focus because I'm always flicking between different WIPs and struggle to get anything done! 2) ability to write more in one go, I'm often frustrated by not being able to write more than a paragraph or two in one sitting! >.< I know it could always be worse, but a slightly larger consistent output would be nice! And I think wish 3) would be a better ability to chop enormous fic ideas down to a respectable size. I'm not even asking to not get the absurd epic-length ideas that would take most people a lifetime to write, just to be better to rationing them down to bare essentials so they're completeable in a reasonable time!
Any genies out there bored? Please? 🥺🙏
17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.
Haha sorry this one is going to be a disappointing answer because I'm not really good at these sorts of questions! There's always too much and too little to talk about at the same time... way too much to squeeze into one tumblr post but I'm also simultaneously like "uh. I made up a book in one chapter. and someone who wrote a response to the book" lol.
I guess my favourite bit of lore is Brigid transitioning out of a tanistry system similar to medieval Ireland, which is simultaneously how Petra is the heir apparent and her position isn't secure. But whilst that didn't make it into the WIP, I already did a lore dump author's note about that XDDD
21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?
Honestly yeah there are absolutley times I've wished to quit writing. Last year (or was it 2020? I think it was 2020 actually. Time is a lie), I really genuinely did try to quit for good. I stopped writing, and I think told a few people to tell me to stop if I mentioned starting again. By that point I was just absolutely sick of getting into cycles of feeling awful about my writing, feeling it was stupid and useless and I was doing it all wrong and so on, which was something that happened several times a year at that point, and sometimes it felt like that feeling went on for months. I stopped wanting to feel that way, so I tried to cut out the main thing that was making me feel that way, which was writing.
Obviously, that didn't really stick, even though it hasn't been smooth sailing from then either. To be honest, I think I'm still affected from a period of bad burnout back in early 2019 and I'm not fully recovered yet, and maybe I never will be. Most of those genie wishes? Are basically just wishing to go back to my pre-2019 self when I could write a lot more, a lot more consistently, and because my output was greater, it wasn't such a chore to stay focused on one project long enough to finish it (oneshots to short multi chapter works), which increased motivation, because I was finishing more things, etc. I went from thinking of 20k fics as "short" things that could be completed in a little over a month if I knuckled down, to having to drop to a schedule for my main WIP (this is just within the past year) of only being able to write one 4-6k chapter per month on average, whilst still feeling like I had no energy to work on other things and I didn't get a break from it. And even that after a while became too much and I just had to take a hiatus from that fic, which could still be a permanent hiatus even though I hope it won't be. The difference in my abilities is staggering even years later and I constantly find myself frustrated and sometimes really disheartened by how little I can do compared to what I used to be able to do, never mind when I think of other people who write even more than that. (Before anyone says anything, no, it's not outside responsibilities, if anything I have way more free time and fewer stressors than I did back in 2019.) Burn out is not a joke.
But I don't want this to just be negative so I'll also talk about what's helped me move past the burn out to an extent as well. Part of feeling better about coming back to writing over the past year and a half or so has been coming to terms with why I am writing and no longer letting people impose expectations on why I should be writing from the outside. Trying to "write for myself", a phrase that has never made any sense to me, just led to me becoming increasingly frantic and self-loathing as I tried to find the recipe to Write The Correct Way. I did not and have never had the internal id or voice that other people seem to have which tells me what I "want" to write, so I do not instinctively "know" how to write for myself, even though this is the expectation created by that phrase. Nor do I get any pleasure out of writing what I want to read, another thing people say they mean by "writing for yourself". Sure, I sometimes enjoy reading back things I've already written, but it's not WHY I put myself through all that hard work and annoyance, there are plenty of stories that I don't write and will never write because I enjoy playing them over in my head well enough - I don't need to have a story on paper to enjoy it.
Actually just admitting and saying with my whole chest "yeah, I write for engagement. Deal with it" has been a lot healthier for me. I write because it's the way I engage with fandom as I'm not very good at doing other things to engage with fandom (I struggle with essays and putting down character analysis, can't make art or gifs, and I'm bad at just having conversations with people) and it's a good way to hear what people think of my ideas and characterisations, things I don't really have other ways of talking about. So just saying this is my reason for writing, being self-aware about it, has given me confidence to push back against the universal idea that you should "write for yourself" and I no longer feel like I'm broken or wrong for not writing fanfic the way that other people write it. Because I'm not trying to fit a square peg mindset into a round motivation hole (that metaphor works, right? Right???) I just feel a lot happier in general and I can actually maintain more self-awareness about how I'm feeling about writing, such as realising I'm getting a bit overwhelmed by my main WIP and deciding to take a break, when I'm not taking these things as signals I have not yet found The Perfect Way I Should Be Writing and so I should keep going.
To bring this back to the original question, whilst I have tried to quit/want to quit writing many times, I've never actually been able to and I don't really think that I actually can. I've been writing for about 15 years now if not a bit longer, and I think when the writing bug grabs you, it really grabs you. I don't know if this is the case for anybody else, but I genuinely feel that writing and writing fanfiction in particular has changed the way I look at the world and other media. I approach everything with a more analytical mindset, which I suppose to some people sounds un-fun, but to me it's not un-fun at all, it only makes every piece of media more fun to experience and re-experience because I can see how all the parts of it fit together...... or don't fit together in the place of plot holes or similar, but honestly, there's usually joy even in that, in noticing a plot hole but realising that in the context of the moment, in the emotions and the characters, the plot hole doesn't actually matter, it doesn't take away from the culmination of the character arc (or whatever) at all. It makes every new piece of media a chance to experience new inspiration and get new ideas, which are fun to play with even if I never end up writing them. And not just stories, but all kinds of aspects of real life can provide this inspiration. It's joyful, and it's something that's so intricately linked to my writing, that it's not something I can turn off, and equally, it's something that keeps bringing me back to writing and storytelling. So I might regret saying this, but no, I don't think I could ever quit writing any more.
All asks from THIS post.
3 notes · View notes
cybermeep · 1 month
Text
i believe tumblr is currently the place i like residing the most.. i only have instagram for genuine necessity when i need to converse with school acquaintances who don’t wish to give a number or so. i deleted tiktok. twitter is abandoned. i never used snapchat as i thought of it as confusing and blatantly uncomfortable to use. discord is also generally just to converse, but i don’t use many servers much if at all
funnily enough, i’ve had this account for years— changed the way it looked during last summer, apparently. made it way back when. i didnt use it much besides to like old ask blogs. now i use it to write things.
its funny, i do think that (in the present moment, at least) this is the area in which i let myself write the most about my personal affairs and seem to let myself be the most vulnerable. i think its because nobody really cares here. with something more front facing like some kind of instagram story it reaches a larger audience, one which doesn’t exactly feel the same. cramped. uncomfortable. here it feels okay
..by nobody really cares i mean it in the sense my existence is one just as a passerby, really. no one really knows of my existence unless i’ve either interacted first or they went out of their way to find me (which, and i say this lovingly, why?) those who do know my existence are quite few, and much fewer may even read these silly things. who knows
all i know is that this place, this small corner of a ethernet cable, is home to very honest thoughts & whatnot from different moments in my life. around 3 to 4 people i know in real life know of my odd existence on here, and one of them doesn’t even use this app. im thankful my childhood friend isn’t active on here (although he knows of my existence because he follows me) because i do think it would be embarrassing to have him read my stupid things.
i don’t know. im not really sure what im saying. its late, i’m tired, i looked out a car window earlier in the afternoon and hoped some Subject of varying Emotion was not doing anything stupid, etc etc. The usual. I have a bad habit of overthinking and worrying friends/acquaintances/anyone really have had the worst things happen to them if i go through extended periods of time without knowing whether or not they’re still existent; living & breathing & whatnot. Im trying to worry less about things like that. Its abnormally difficult. I believe my body was built to worry about others & about everything in the world because then that would explain why i hold emotions meant for several people in terms of sheer size of them. I hold the worry of thirty people who work a 9-5 combined.
happy snoozing !!!! Zzzzzzzzzzxmimimimizzzzzz
0 notes
animalshelterawareness · 11 months
Text
I’ve tried getting into the blogging thing a couple times, in fact, I’d like to argue that I was semi successful when I had a tumblr where I complained about my life everyday and managed to have one active subscriber. It’s nice and all, until I got bored and realized my life actually wasn’t as interesting as I was making it out to be. Then you run out of content, deactivate, and pretend it never happened.
Now, this presents my upcoming discussion. I needed actual issues to talk about in life, and recently I was given the task of finding an issue and talking about it. Now, typically, when I get assignments like these, I roll my eyes and pretend to not care. But this issue, this issue dwelled on the back of my mind, and now that I am informed, I have the confidence to add my own two cents. When I got my cat, Snuggles, I was always curious about her background. What was she like before she was adopted by my mother one fateful day (Pi Day of 2019, which is ironic, since she does not do math).
Apparently, I will never know what it's actually like, because she will not speak up and tell me. She can meow at four in the morning so I can open the door to let her go chase grasshoppers, but if I dare to question her philosophies and her stances, she goes silent. I don’t blame her for this however, she was quite young when she was still in the system, and could either not recall fully, or she is so traumatized from her past she chooses to stay silent...
Tumblr media
Doing research on animal shelters, the dots start to connect. Now, I won't know for sure, but based on what i’ve seen, animal shelters are probably not very sheltering for animals. For those who live under a rock, animal shelters are typically building houses that house animals that are in need of being adopted, hence giving them shelter temporarily. Great concept, actually amazing concept. Obviously animals should be given food, water, and a place to stay rather than roaming the streets and getting rabies. However, the problem lies with the environment of the animal shelters themselves.
Many animal shelters tend to be overcrowded, housing hundreds of animals at one time. When people look for animals to adopt, they tend to gravitate towards the younger and cuter animals. Now, Snuggles, (a cat) was both young and cute, which is why she was so easily chosen, but of course, that doesn’t exactly last forever. When you consider the animals coming into this shelter, as much as you have tiny bite sized kittens and puppies, you have animals coming from neglected homes and morally corrupt breeding mills. Missouri is known to be “the heart of the puppy mill industry”, which makes the surplus of dogs become a problem when simply, not everyone wants a mass produced dog.
Tumblr media
It’s also important to consider the behaviors of an animal when it’s being chosen. Some of us will gravitate towards different types of personalities. While others prefer loud and excitable, as opposed to a timid and shy animal, it can be confirmed with research that the shelter environment typically warps the behavior of an animal overtime. Wherever that be for the better or the worse. Well, always worse. But, in these high stress environments, it's been proven to make animals more aggressive and in that case, less likely to be adopted. Though the humane society in Columbia is a no-kill shelter, and relies on the citizens of the county to feel like adopting an animal that day. However, when you go back to the point of factors for adopting like age and compatibility, the more time an undesired animal lives in a shelter, the more likely it is to stay put in there.
Reminds me of a term… “lookism”… but for animals. You think the animals are conscious of pretty privilege? That would be so tragic.
Now, what about the noise in the shelter? Also proven by statistics, noise in animal shelters regularly exceeds 100 db, which is the equivalent of something as loud as a lawnmower and a jackhammer. Now imagine listening to this for hours and hours at a time, probably into the night as well. Any ordinary person would get stressed within a few minutes of this, imagine the absolute insanity one might experience hearing it nearly all hours of the day, from the moment you wake up to the second everyone else shuts their eyes. It might as well be considered a form of torture the CIA would use to make someone crack.
In stressful environments for dogs in particular, research shows that the plasma cortisol levels of an animal can either be too high or too low, which can lead to many health negatives. High levels can lead to heart failure and strokes, while if levels are too low will lead to decreased energy levels. In addition, loud noises will lead to aggression in dogs, which not only changes their behavior, but is prone to make them more violent. Aggressive dogs are less likely to be adopted, and in shelters that have a goal to get rid of animals, through adoption or murder, will choose these dogs to put down first. With the knowledge of grooming dogs to become more aggressive, intentional or not, it becomes problematic knowing that things like this can be prevented.
Tumblr media
Now… let's propose a solution. Well, for starters, some things we can’t prevent so easily. Overcrowding in animal shelters is an expected outcome, but we can easily negate the worst outcomes of this by increasing promotion of animals in said shelters. Make more targeted advertisements, reach out in the community of the benefits of adopting all different types of animals. Some shelters, such as Second Chance, have a list that shows animals that are about to be euthanized, and I think this should be a common practice across all animal shelters to prevent the killing of innocent animals.
What about volunteers, those are something to take into account, right? Of course, we should encourage those with a good track record with working with animals to come to shelters and help, and we should also give training so new trainers know how to respond to things they may come across. At the end of the day, those who take care of animals influence their behaviors, which is why you should stress the positivity of the volunteers. Decreasing aggression and stress would be a big improvement for both animal and worker health, and would increase the positivity of animal shelter practices.
Concluding this entry, it's important to stress the need for change in an animal shelter environment. Laws aren’t the top priority to change, but rather the community’s behavior and willingness to help. Animal shelters still suffer from fundamental flaws in their practices, and if us animal activists as a collective each pitch in a little, our impact would be noticeable. Whenever that's pitching in with donations for supplies, or researching how to be an efficient and effective volunteer, we could truly make a change.
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
zephiesjournal · 1 year
Text
tuesday, november 1st, 2022
got less than four hours of sleep and somehow managed to make it the whole day without giving into a bottle of caffeine pills. some computer parts arrived, one driver made zero effort to even approach my building and my DPD profile now simply says “CALL [NUMBER]” in the instructions, safe place and residency photo sections. live chat said they’d attempt another delivery later on in the day but they never did. part of me was glad i didn’t have to step outside so early because my shoes were still soaked and dirty, i used the last of my detergent on cleaning them then couldn’t buy more to clean anymore clothes because i now have negative money. that is until hours later when i realized there is cash in my wallet, and the whole time i was thinking mmm i really need to go into town to deposit this money so i can spend it. i might be stupid.
i’ve decided i’m gonna go physical with this journal soon. i looked into some ways to get my whole tumblr printed as a book but none of them seemed to be working. i want to start caring more about writing but the way i go about it now just makes it feel way too laborious. i want a little physical book i can take out and just relax while writing in whenever i’m thinking about something, instead of putting it all off till the next day and struggling to remember any fleeting thoughts. i don’t want to ever feel “done” for the day, that there’s journaling time that i have to do quickly and then move on and live my next day. then i started thinking about how it could potentially make my ocd worse by feeling like i have to write everything down every thought instead of just the bigger things that happened throughout the day. i want to practice differentiating what’s worth writing about and what isn’t, and focus on writing about things i could maybe kind of learn from instead of “today i went shopping but my shoes were kinda wet so i wore two pairs of socks”. ok dude glad i can remember that happened.
i need to tackle my ocd with journaling too, i didn’t want to start on a random day and i wanted to specifically have “a 2023 book” and “a 2024 book”, but then what if i want to change the format in some way and i run out of pages. i looked into “refillable” journals but mm they look goofy. the only way i could be sure i wouldn’t run out of space is if i bought one with way too many pages and was not viable to carry around with me, or one with a specific amount of pages but i had to very strictly only use one page a day plus one a week for something or else, or something like that. looking online even among the communities who are super into journaling they’ll be like “journaled every day for three years straight!” and it’s a photo of like 9 different books all completely different in size. could find hardly any talk about wanting to be all uniform with it like i do so maybe i’m just stupid. i don’t know having several different journals that are marked as “7 nov 2022 - 23 feb 2023”, “24 feb 2023 - 15 may 2023” etc feels super bothersome to me. but i gotta learn to be okay with these kinds of imperfections that aren’t even really imperfections, like it’s all there it’s correct there’s nothing “wrong” about it. whatever, i’ll probably change how i like to journal a lot over time anyway, and all that means is it’ll accurately reflect my attitude towards it at each point in time which is the whole point of a journal!!! that’s also part of the reason i want to go physical instead, i can be so much more personal with how i do it instead of being confined to a tumblr blog.
i don’t think i did much today besides obsess over my obsessions and obsess over journaling and journal about my obsessions and journal about journaling. i downloaded sims 4 because i was feeling nostalgic over the first one and 4 is apparently free now so why not, then i got into character customization and was immediately overwhelmed, like oh that’s right i don’t actually care enough to go through this right now. i remembered thinking when i write about this there’s a learnable thought i should talk about since that’s the kind of journaling i want to focus on from now on, and i can’t remember what i came up with. uhh i don’t like super in-depth character creators because i get overwhelmed easily, because of my uhhh trauma or whatever, i will learn from this for 2023.
0 notes
failsandfortunes · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Trying digital art properly for the first time, and I’ve been listening to the Rivers of London series recently so have a strangely formatted tarot card! 
(Pose from @senshistock)
14 notes · View notes
padawanlost · 3 years
Note
I have a couple of questions about Karen Miller/Traviss (are they the same person?) who wrote the Clone Wars novels. Are they still considered canon? Also, I heard that Karen Traviss was abused online or something, was that over her Star Wars novels? Really, I mean that just takes toxicity to a new level.
This is a hot topic but one that desperately needs to be explored because to this day people are still spreading misinformation about that happen as a way to ‘defend’ their points. So, here we go:
Karen Miller and Karen Traviss are not the same person.
Karen miller wrote novels like  The Clone Wars: Wild Space and the Clone Wars Gambit series.
Karen Travis wrote novels like The Clone Wars movie novelization and the Republic Command Series.
Both, in my opinion, are very talented writers but both also suffered thanks to sexiest and overzealous fans. There are many reason why they became ‘infamous’ but the main reason is their political stance. They both had a lot of sympathy for the clones and the enslaves citizens of the GFFA, and both were not shy about calling out the Jedi Order and the Senate for their inaction. Of course, jedi stans hated them. To add insult to injury, Karen Traviss was the writer who ‘killed’ Mara Jade (btw, this wasn’t her idea but she’s still hated for it).
Karen Miller ‘crimes’:
Her biggest ‘offense’ was being mistaken by Karen Traviss (more on that later). Beyond that all she did was write Anidala and portraying Anakin and Obi-wan as good but flawed people. This is the kind of stuff she wrote:
“Coruscant was out there. Padmé was out there. There was a heart in his chest, beating, but it was only an echo. She was his true heart. She was his home.”  - Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Siege
“He saw himself a candle. He saw himself behind a wall. Brick by brick he tried to raise it. Brick by brick, it was destroyed. Every death was a hammer blow. Every loss a chisel. The Sith were a wily foe, they knew where and when to strike. They were drawn to weak places, to old griefs and unhealed wounds.” - Karen Miller. The Clone Wars: Wild Space
To weep for a fallen comrade was to display unseemly attachment. A Jedi did not become attached to people, to things, to places, to any world or its inhabitants. A Jedi’s strength was fed by serenity. By distance. By loving impersonally. Karen Miller. The Clone Wars: Wild Space
Nothing particularly edgy or offensive. Imo, she’s one the best prequel writes in the game.
Karen Traviss ‘crimes’:
Beyond killing Mara Jade, she’s known for being critical of the Jedi and Republic and advocating for clone wars. She supported the highly offensive and controversial idea that clones were human being who deserved the freedom. She also believed that love (romantic or platonic), family and friends were not inherently evil and that Order made mistake by banning them.
Karen Trraviss is also know for writing so much of what we know of Mandalorian culture and she struck a nerve that too.
She wrote things like:
“The only thing [the clones] all had in common was their appearance��although they were starting to age differently, she could see that now—and what the Republic had done to them. Apart from that, they were individuals with the full range of virtues and habits of random humankind, and she now felt completely at home with them. If she had a side in this war, this was the one she chose: the disenfranchised, unreasonably loyal, heartbreakingly stoic ranks of manufactured men who deserved better.”  Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss
Serenity, my backside. Passion. Passion and anger and love. That’s what this galaxy needs, not serenity. Passion for change. Anger at this brutality. Love-buckets of it, for everyone, love between child and parent, between spouses, between brothers and sisters, between friends. We need more attachment, not less. Attachment can stop us from tearing ourselves apart. The Clone Wars: No Prisoners by Karen Traviss
He wanted to ask her why only a handful of Jedi objected to a slave army, and why they could claim to believe in the sanctity of all life and yet treat some life as being exempt from that respect. [REPUBLIC COMMANDO: TRUE COLORS BY KAREN TRAVISS[
Fandom (over)reaction:
Because of her ‘polemic’ takes, she started getting a lot of hate from the fandom. She used to interact with the fandom and her reward was to get constant death and rape threats. Some fans threatened her with ‘corrective rape’ to change her mind about the Jedi Order and other topics. Apparently, she responded by calling these fans ‘talifans’.
And the fans used that reaction to further vilify her. she was accused of hating the Jedi Order, of favoring Mandalore over them, getting the size of the clone army wrong, of ruining the OT by killing Mara Jade and now, of attacking fans. She was basically bullied out of the franchise.
However, her depictions of Clones and Mandalorians as heroes, while portraying the Jedi as petty or villainous, frustrated some fans, who felt that her stories and characters were counter to Star Wars. These fans wrote negative reviews of her books, and created a petition to George Lucas to stop Traviss from writing further Star Wars books. Traviss also received rape and death threats. Traviss wrote about these experiences on her blog, attacking the fans who created the petition, and likening them to Muslim extremists by calling them "Talifans." Traviss ultimately retired from Star Wars writing due to the threats she received.  [x]
It got to point where she had to write an open letter to the fandom explaining she DIDN’T hate the Jedi Order, she just didn’t believe things like war crimes and slavery should be so easily overlooked.
“No sane human can hate someone who doesn’t actually exist. From a writer’s perspective, the more super-powers characters acquire, the harder it is to develop logical story arcs and true human drama…but I don’t have any real feelings about fictional characters that stay with me once I step out of character-point-of-view-writing mode and get on with my life […] My real problem, then, is not with fictional Jedi, but with the people who refuse to believe they can do wrong. – Karen traviss [x]
If you want to know more about this, check this out :)
Now, back to Karen Miller
A few years ago, a popular sw tumblr tried to discredit Traviss writing by spreading the info that  she was a sexualizing Ahsoka with Bail so people started hating her for that too. Thing is, Karen Miller was the one accused of doing that but here is the deal:
Neither Karens ever wrote Ahsoka interacting with Bail Orgarna. What actually happened was that someone wrote a fic about Bail sexualizing Ahsoka on fanfiction.net, someone read it and decided the writing style was similar to Karen Miller’s so OF COURSE it must be Karen Miller who wrote the fanfic. Thanks to that genius level of deductive work, over the time people started saying that Karen Traviss wrote about Bail wanting to fuck Ahsoka as extra proof that SHE IS EVIL and should not be taken seriously.
Conclusion
Regardless of what you feel about someone writing, it’s NEVER okay to send them rape or death threats. Never! unfortunately, some hardcore jedi stans still spread the ‘karen traviss was attacking us’ without explaining exactly transpired between her and the fandom. According to their narrative, she was the *only* one in the wrong. That’s why there’s so much misinformation about her and what truly happened online.
My take on this ‘controversy’ is very simple: stop sending rape and death threats to women. I don’t care if you agree with her or not. The moment you believe a women *deserve* to be rape or killed, or support those who do, you lose any more ground you might think have. The situation becomes even more dire if it’s done to protect FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. 🤦‍♀️ I swear...this fandom....
236 notes · View notes
bulkyphrase · 2 years
Text
Howard Stark: a fic rec list
Howard is one of my favorite MCU side characters, so I thought I'd put together a list of some of his best depictions in fanfiction.
Tumblr media
If you've got a favorite Howard Stark story let me know because I'm always looking for more.
The Drinks are on Steve by AnonEhouse (Gen, General, 676 words)
Summary: Why can't Captain America get drunk? Howard wants to know. He is after all, a scientist.
woof by Anonymous (Gen, Not Rated, 5,085 words)
Note: This story is so fucking cute
Summary: For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."
More below the cut
Trophy Father by blakefancier (Steve/Howard, General, 5,648 words)
Summary: Howard wakes up in a strange place and no matter how hard he tries, he can't figure out what's going on.
Holding On (And Letting Go) by lazywriter7 (Gen, Teen, 3,723 words) tumblr: @lazywriter7
Summary: “Steve would have appreciated it.”
“Well, too bad he’s dead then.”
“You know you don’t believe that. You never have.”
“Yeah, well.” Howard turns back to his bottle. Maybe she’ll be nicer to him. “Apparently rapidly soaring hopes, followed by their unceremonious shattering, serve as extenuating circumstances.”
Peggy remains undeterred. “You still saved a Howling Commando.”
The curve of Howard’s lips against his glass is a bitter one. “Not the right one.”
Or, the fic in which Howard Stark and Bucky Barnes go for a not entirely consensual vacation.
cascades. by orange_crushed (Bucky/Steve, Mature, 152,138 words)
Note: Howard is not a huge part of this story, but his characterization is beautiful.
Summary: “Holy shit,” Howard says, crackling through the speakers. “You alive in there?” Lying is a sin, of course, but Steve’s not sure what else he can do. He’s already lied to the government and Bucky and God Almighty; and himself, himself most of all. He ought to tell the truth. That he’s not quite what they hoped for. That perhaps they should put him back into the ocean.
“Probably,” he says, instead, listening to Howard’s tinny laughter; and waits for the blast doors to unlock.
Also available as an amazing podfic read by quietnight (@quietnighty)
Midnight Oil by Takada_Saiko (Gen, Teen, 4,493 words) tumblr: @takadasaiko
Note: The other stories in this series are also great
Summary: "Stark took a swing at him right there in front of his men. You'd think a guy as smart as Stark wouldn't hit someone twice his size." - Agent Carter 1.05
Steve and the Howling Commandos are called in to come collect their pilot after Howard lands himself in some trouble over a stolen invention.
Second Chances by Takada_Saiko (Tony/Pepper, Steve/Peggy, Teen, 83,778 words) tumblr: @takadasaiko
Summary: Steve has every intention of returning the Infinity Stones to their correct place in the timeline and heading back to his own. His problems start when he makes an impulse decision to jump over to 1946 and Peggy decides to go back home with him. It only gets more complicated from there when Howard tags along with them to 2024 and suddenly Tony and Pepper have a surprise guest in their lakeside cabin.
The Scientific Method by Zelos (Gen, Teen, 5,406 words)
Summary: Written for a prompt on Avengerkink:
I read a fic the other day that mentioned how they know that Captain America's metabolism is 4 times faster, that he is 800% more resistant to drugs, etc etc. I want a fic that explores how they know that. It's up to anon whether to set it in the 1940s or the present, but I'd love to see Steve being experimented on, how long he can run, how he reacts to different drugs and poisons, how long he can go without food, etc.
“I am not experimenting on Rogers, you wretched bastard,” Howard snarled back. “He's a good man, a soldier, not a lab rat.”
“The man volunteered to be part of an experimental procedure, Stark, so in that sense he already is a lab rat.”
20 notes · View notes
i8jisoo · 4 years
Text
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 
hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz
↬ genre; fluff
↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie
↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc
Tumblr media Tumblr media
u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy
u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news
u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him
u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks
one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in
ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated
ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together
ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together
u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him
“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 
ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing
ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u
“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”
baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u
“i’m five and a half months.” 
fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop
u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where
ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out
“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”
u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place
he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound
u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks
he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek
u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side
“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”
ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,
ur both nervous and cautious around each other
at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together
hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning
he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺
“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”
ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk
around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer
he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣
he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought
hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together
also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami
(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)
something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^
he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy
it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home
ofc u were crying
a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(
u explain n hiccup while doing so
hes so s o f t at this moment
he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—
he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses
“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”
enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n
spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby
u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like
“ow,, fuck that hurt.”
“hey don’t swear around the baby!”
u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often
kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses
hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝
yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??
well kkami was on it 
baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin
u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P
newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg
“it feels gross.”
ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out
he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind
last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes
though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts
hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary
hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction
“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”
ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark
u do not want to be t o u c h e d
touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u
hyunjin just sits there
hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall
hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(
hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺
yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again
he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong
“i— it feels like i have to push.”
he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors
they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position
hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO
yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look
like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy
here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin
“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”
his lil puppy baby boy 🥺
he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head
it was kinda creepy how similar they looked
anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different
u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺
“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”
he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly
“yea, we do.”
Tumblr media
©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
1K notes · View notes
steve0discusses · 3 years
Text
Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Yugi’s Senshi Outfit
So I’ve been doing a lot of work, and I haven’t looked at the blog for a hot minute and when I finally checked back in to do these posts I noticed something on my tumblr was just blowing up. I got all excited thinking “oh shoot, Did I draw something right??” and instead, it was a random post I made about the bootspants from season 1. Three years later, resurrected from the grave and covered in...thousands of notes? I don’t understand how this website works.
Anyways, the comments are mostly good, but a little bit wild. A lot of people seem to think I would know what Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is, when I’m an adult who is still watching the first 5 seasons of Yugioh. (I will never have time to watch Jojo,) and then some other people started talking about Actual Card Mechanics that went...completely beyond my comprehension. But then there was one person. One person who said one thing, and brought it all together.
Poots.
The boots that are pants.
Poots.
I can’t believe I looked at all the different combinations, but a Poots never crossed my brain.
It is so perfect, so cathartic, although it took 3 years to get there.
Poots.
Anyways, we’re in S5 and unfortunately not in poots anymore, Yugi is now dressed in a tupperware container from hell and they have wandered into a desert. On cue, Grandpa has an injury, but at least this time it’s not his ass.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You know how there’s artists who do hyper-realistic versions of pokemon monsters with detailed bone structure and muscle anatomy? I dare them to look at this orb and tell me how the hell it has wings. Like go ahead and try and pin a spine down on that thing. I’ll wait.
(read more under the cut)
Tumblr media
So Joey decides to sprint down this endless desert with just boundless positivity.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Over the edge of this sand dune is a whole bunch of huts,just random civilization out in the middle of no where.
Tumblr media
One girl walks over and it’s a look.
Tumblr media
She’s really the only one here who can talk, and she just seems...so incredibly bored to be here. A whole lot of Wednesday Addams energy. She leads them into a hut where an old guy pulls a scroll out of blue fire. As you do.
Tumblr media
Again, this arc should have been a video game, because while it’s something to get the player interested if there’s some riddle they have to solve to progress, when you’re watching a TV show, it’s not like I’m the one solving the riddle. The format is honestly one of the downers of this arc, tbh.
It has strong “I played a D+D sesh and made a webcomic out of it vibe” and I know I just called out like half of you, but listen, I will not take it back.
Tumblr media
This episode, our gimmick is some asshole is going to be yelling at us from the other end of the map, just shouting in the background for the entirety of the episode like that tangible human skull meme.
Tumblr media
Then Wednesday Addams hands over yet another MacGuffin because why not?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tea can twin it up with Yugi now. Her necklace doesn’t seem haunted, but it’s only a matter of time. (also her necklace looks so freakin terrible, we’ll see it later and I’ll have a lot more to say because wtf it looks like some sort of polly pocket.)
Tumblr media
I’m not 100% that the voice that shouts at us from the end of the hall this episode is Mokuba’s voice actress. But I’m 99% positive it is, or Mokuba’s voice is just really that type of vibe.
Tumblr media
Stuff happens, and it felt like card duel stuff, so I’m gonna skip over the part where they pulled out their duel monsters one by one, since the fight was pointless anyway because the worms can turn you into stone. So Yugi and Pharaoh decide to have a chat about it because their plan is clearly not working.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is when Pharaoh has a vivid lucid daydream, which seems like something that would have been more convenient before he ended up turning into stone on the floor of some desert. But, hallucinations never come when they’re convenient on this show. They usually come during card games, tbh.
Tumblr media
Imagine with me that you’re dreaming of like...an old ass greek guy who is 99% Alexander the Great. Imagine he tells you to fuse with a sentient paper card that you already carry around in a weird capsule.
Tumblr media
Please
For the love of all that is holy
Do not think about what it means to fuse with the Dark Magician.
Dark Magician is...he “exists” but he’s like not even a person. There seem to be whole fleets of dark Magicians, which are all the same guy, just cloned, right? Or maybe they’re a family? Or like...I don’t freakin know. Like they’re all hanging out together in some card dimension so it’d be more like fusing with the guy who dresses like Barney the dinosaur instead of actually Barney. Like he’s more of like a concept than a dude, but apparently you can just introduce him to your...whatever this armor is supposed to be, and Dark Magician turns into a Super Suit.
Tumblr media
I want to express my thanks to the Yugioh team for not putting Yami in his underoos. Hell, they didn’t even take off his jacket. I do not know what art directer ok’d this for animation and said “yeah, this won’t kills us if we animate it.” but that is a hell ton of lines and design right there. Yeah they have 3d, and probably had to 3d that staff...but that doesn’t mean you don’t end up drawing it, in the end--you still have to draw over your 3d. You still have to draw literally everything.
Anyway, when we get to the eye of the storm. The secret to getting there was that you have to fly, which again--3/5 of these guys already have a monster that can fly. We can finally tell the voice at the end of the hall to stop yelling because it’s really bothering all the townspeople, and then move on with the quest.
Tumblr media
Everyone else was stone during this. So when they un-petrified they kinda looked over at Yugi and were like “how freakin long was I out???”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
But youknow, Yugi’s 2 people, so it’s fine. So long as you don’t get down to the third bastard still sitting around in there.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
After this, our NPCs vanish, and the show pushes us directly forward. No time for them to piss off a land turtle or set a bunch of wolves on fire. Just get out of the desert and freakin go.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I’m just so bothered by this random ass huge chunky necklace.
It’s like the size of your freakin fist. And it’s just...a pentagon. Congrats Tea, you have a fake ass plastic necklace. I guess it’s so that when we’re far away we can still see it on her chest but like...This show loves huge ass necklaces, and they’re all basic ass shapes. We got a pyramid, the Kaiba’s wear squares, Bakura wears a circle with kind of phallic bits hanging off of it and this is just...it’s literally just a pentagon.
I guess Ishizu wore a wadjet and Duke has an indecipherable clown as his necklace. But man...the Yugioh necklace game is just a lot of shapes.
Tumblr media
And so we continue on with this filler arc, which is also a pokemon arc, and even secretly has a Sailor Moon arc just stuffed in there for funsies. This arc is weird.
Also, I brought up the human skull so I legally have to post this.
youtube
Anyway, here’s a link to read these in chrono order, in case you just got here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
And I’m off to drink a bin of ice water because it is 5 billion degrees right now in this house.
39 notes · View notes
yongtxt · 4 years
Text
turn back time [taeyong]
Tumblr media
word count: 6.2k words
characters: amnesiac!taeyong x girlfriend!reader ft. doyoung
genre: angst [meant to be just melancholic so no crying !]
warnings: few mentions of a car crash and some wounds. taeyong suffers from amnesia.  it’s a couple trying to learn how to love again.
author’s note: yesterday was my first year anniversary here on tumblr and i give you a short angst fic of the first nct member i wrote for as a present. anyway. i need a break from angst after this also i need to stop writing people getting hurt/wounded???? [stream turn back time by wayv later <3] / unedited
Tumblr media
Taeyong awoke to harsh fluorescent lighting filling his vision, a throat so dry it could compare to a desert, and the muffled cries of his lover.
His arms ached, muscles extremely sore that it hurt him to even lift his limb. He wanted to reach out to you, to run his fingers through your hair, and to tell you that everything was gonna be okay—he would work it out with you, together.
You had Taeyong’s hospital gown clutched in your hands, soaking the fabric with your weeping. WIth your face buried into his blanket, it took you a second to realize that your boyfriend had already woken up from his deep slumber. Your cheeks flushed at his intense gaze, dropping your hold on him almost immediately as if it was hot to touch.
“You’re awake!” You exclaimed, voice cracking. Fumbling to wipe your tears, you scrambled to your feet. “Let me grab some food, okay? You must be hungry.”
Taeyong did his best to shake his head, “No, you don’t have to. Please just stay beside me.”
A beat passed and you could only stare at him. The hesitance you exuded didn’t pass unnoticed, you sat back on the stool beside him and stayed tight-lipped. Taeyong sighed through his nose, a bubble of nervousness growing in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t even look you in the eye, his attention darting everywhere but to you.
“How are you feeling? Do you think you can move better now?” You asked, soft and wary—afraid of what his response would be and he didn’t like the sound of it not one bit, but he didn’t let it show.
“I can move my head better than yesterday.” Taeyong pointed out, craning his neck enough to prove it to you. You couldn’t help the smile on your face and his chest floods with an unfamiliar warmth. He added, “My joints just hurt since I’m kept on bed rest all day.”
“Well, you’re getting released tomorrow.” You said, subconsciously outstretching your hand to brush off the fallen lock of his hair from his forehead. He blushed at the contact of your fingertips and you immediately retracted it back. “Uh, your doctor wanted me to tell you that you should start walking around again if you can to avoid using crutches.”
“I’ll try to go for a walk tonight.” He nodded his head, staring at his lap as if it was the most fascinating thing in the room. “Can you help me drink some water?”
“I’m sorry, of course.” Your cheeks reddened the same way his were, fumbling to punch in a straw inside a bottle of water as you propped it up for him to sip on. Of course he was thirsty, he had been asleep for almost half the day.
Your fingers were trembling, he noticed. Before he could point it out, the door slammed open and you were forced to draw away his drink. You haven’t been told of anyone visiting so it came as a surprise to see your boyfriend’s childhood best friend panting in the doorway, holding himself up on the frame while he gawked at Taeyong’s wounded form.
Bruises of varying sizes littered across Taeyong’s pale skin and a bandage was wrapped around his forehead, his bleached hair peeking out from the bloodied cloth. A large gash can be seen trailing along his jawline and although it had been healing nicely, a mark remained. He had dark circles under his eyes and his cheeks were sunken from fatigue and a lack of nutritional intake, much like you.
He didn’t look well, Doyoung thought with a pitiful gaze Taeyong was already too familiar with.
“Aren’t you gonna come in?” Taeyong chuckled, grinning at Doyoung who frowned at him. He rushed to his side and mindlessly took him into an embrace, cradling his bandaged head into his shoulder. You felt hot tears pool into the corners of your eyes but you blinked them away before they could see.
He berated him, the way he always would when Taeyong got himself into trouble that could’ve been easily avoided if he would just think straight. The blizzard, Doyoung kept bringing it up, he shouldn’t have driven when the weather was too dangerous.
“I’ll try to remember that next time.” Taeyong said, reassuring him before Doyoung could burst into tears. He wouldn’t know how to handle him if he got too emotional, he doubted you’d be able to.
“Why were you driving, anyway? What was so important that you had to risk your life to travel?” Doyoung huffed and you rose from your seat from instinct, about to insert yourself into their conversation when Taeyong grasped your fingers.
You stared at him and you were suddenly reminded that he must’ve put himself in pain to stop you. You sat back down and he smiled, he wanted to say it himself and you could only respect his wishes. You hadn’t been able to inform Taeyong’s friends about his car crash as it had been only a week since it happened, all of your time was spent tirelessly tending him back to health. You didn’t have the time to share the unfortunate news.
“Apparently, I was on my way back to Seoul from visiting my family.” Taeyong said, gently grazing your skin away from his best friend’s sight. At Doyoung's confused knot on his forehead, he continued, “My mom told me that they couldn’t make me stay because it was the night of my anniversary with my girlfriend.”
“Taeyong, why are you talking like that—”
“The doctor said I hit my head on the steering wheel pretty badly.” Taeyong laughed mirthlessly, and you subconsciously squeezed his hand. “Bad enough that my memory got a bit fuzzy. Retrograde amnesia, I think that’s what they called it.”
Doyoung blinked, lips gaped at Taeyong who only smiled at him. He looked up at you, a sudden onslaught of anxiety coursing through him that you could just see him almost shake in worry. He whispered to you, “Amnesia? How far back can he remember?”
You bit your lip, turning away and loosening the grip you had on Taeyong’s hand, but he held it tighter with a strength you were sure he was only forcing. You said, “The beginning of third year in college.”
“What?!” Doyoung choked on his spit, leaping from his seat in shock. You offered him an unopened bottle of water but he shook his head. “You’re already a working man, Taeyong! We graduated two years ago, man!”
You did your best to calm Doyoung down, much to Taeyong’s appreciation. You knew where his emotions were coming from so you had to explain why it happened in a manner he would understand. You said that the blizzard was so strong that the roads had iced up and due to the speed he was driving, the car had slipped and crashed into a tree. He hit his head and the sheer impact caused trauma to his brain and made him lose his memories.
The doctors diagnosed him with retrograde amnesia, a form of memory loss that occurs from a traumatic brain injury. It prevented Taeyong from remembering what happened prior to his accident. His recovery was supposed to be gradual, it will take time for him to regain the memories he had lost but it wasn’t assured.
Taeyong doesn’t like telling what happened because people’s first reaction to his amnesia was to resort to aggression. As if their anger and frustration could magically make him remember what he had lost. You didn’t think of it that way, on one quiet night you told him that maybe it was just their desperation to bring him back to the person he was.
He thought it was selfish of them, but you kept your lips shut and refused to tell him that losing two years was a big deal to some people. Although he was still himself, quirks and habits are the same as you’ve first witnessed them, little aspects of him were different; some just different enough that others would do a doubletake to make sure it was really him. The person he is now just wasn’t exactly the person he used to be.
A slightly-off Taeyong, he grimly made a joke about.
You wanted to reassure him, comfort him that he didn’t need to try so hard to be who he used to be. You know despite all of his nonchalance and soft smiles, he was hurting. He instilled it in himself that he disappointed his loved ones by being a person they weren’t accustomed to. But you couldn’t, you weren’t in the place to when his last memories of you were when you have only first met during the anthropology class in your third year of college.
“God, that means you can’t even remember your own girlfriend.” Doyoung mumbled, mostly to himself but you heard it clearly enough as if he personally made it a point to stomp on your heart. Taeyong frowned.
“Shut it, Doyoung.” You grumbled, tears threatening to spill again. You and Taeyong have been so emotionally exhausted that having another person in the hospital room usually would lift both of your spirits, but Doyoung proved himself to be a disturbance instead.
Hours were spent lounging around with Doyoung talking Taeyong’s ears off with stories that he had missed in the past two years, how he was the one who had forced him into the class he shared with you and how coerced him into asking you out before he graduated; a bunch of stories that it almost made Taeyong wish that everything could just go back to the way it was.
He wasn’t the Taeyong they speak so fondly off, he was merely just the shell of him. Still, Doyoung had brought out a smile that you had been unable to make and for that, Taeyong gave him his thanks. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye and sniffled.
Doyoung left not too long after, but he promised to visit soon. He knew you needed the support. You were left alone with your boyfriend again and the silence envelops you whole. When you excused yourself to grab a much-needed coffee, Taeyong sank to the hospital bed and succumbed to his tears.
This was his last night in the hospital and it had felt like the longest. He was out like a light but you stilled in your chair beside his bed, fumbling with the ends of his blanket in worry of tomorrow. Not much had progressed in your relationship with him. He was still embarrassed, timid in how he acted around you. You asked if he wanted to go home with you and he reassured you that he would be fine with it, but the panic you felt was still prominent.
Morning came and after what seemed like hours of finishing what was left of Taeyong’s documents in the hospital, it was time to finally leave. You hailed a taxi and you couldn’t help but notice your boyfriend’s sudden rigidness inside the vehicle. Swallowing your reluctance, you took his hand and forced his attention on you throughout the entire drive. He was thankful that you were able to distract him.
The apartment you shared with Taeyong was small but humble, the third unit in an old building that you swore was built in an era before the current. Thin walls and a poorly constructed floor, it was all both of you could afford when you’ve decided to move in together fresh out of college. Despite its imperfections, it was home as long as you had him with you.
With the creaky sounds your front door made, you heard the familiar sound of soft thudding of feet run across the wooden floors to welcome your arrival. Your heart leaped at the sight of Lala, the three-year-old Labrador you adopted with Taeyong, bolting towards your direction with her tongue sticking out.
Taeyong trailed behind you, drinking the place in. His gaze kept on darting from one place to another, his lips parted in amazement at the thought that he really had the courage to move out of his parents’ house to live with his girlfriend. It looked lived in, bits of his and your personalities showing in the way it was decorated and cluttered. The clashing of color schemes and wood tones almost made him want to laugh over how it was clearly furnished purely on indecision and compromise.
He was too busy familiarizing himself to notice that Lala had jumped on him. Your heart squeezed at the sight.
You crouched down to your knees, reaching over to scratch the back of Lala’s ear. You chuckled at Taeyong’s confusion on how to approach the hyperactive puppy, “Her name is Lala, she’s three years old. We adopted her on your birthday last year.”
Taeyong nodded with widened eyes, getting down to your level to attempt to pet her. He commented offhandedly, “Good girl, Lala.”
“She definitely prefers you over me, too.” You mumbled, watching Lala cave into Taeyong’s touch. She hadn’t seen him in a while so you wondered if her attachment to him would waver but it seemed to only grow stronger, the same way you were with your boyfriend. “I had my friend take care of her while we were gone.”
Taeyong kept his quiet and you swallowed the lump in your throat. His doctor told you to treat him especially kindly since he was in a vulnerable state, but you should instill a sense of normalcy. You were instructed to treat him as you normally would, he needed to be reminded of the lifestyle he used to have little by little.
The idea of having to consume copious amounts of medicines every day was already exhausting and gruesome, he even had the bandage around his head to deal with. He had a lot on his plate, you wouldn’t dare add to it by pressuring him to become the adult he doesn’t remember that he was. In his mind, he was still twenty years old and was living in a rickety dorm with Doyoung; it will surely take time for him to grow out of it.
You told Taeyong to go sit down on the stool across the island, to make himself comfortable while you prepared dinner—attempt to prepare dinner. Racking all the recipes his mother had taught you over the years, you wanted to cook a meal he would enjoy and reminisce over.
“Doyoung told me you didn’t like cooking very much.” You heard Taeyong’s voice said, a voice free of malice and full of genuine interest. He said, “It makes sense that I should be the one making food for us right now. You know, for all the trouble I’ve caused you the past week.”
You shook your head firmly, turning around so your back faced him. You didn’t want to let him see your ever-growing frown. You sighed, “Don’t worry, I can handle this. Do you want some coffee?”
“Yeah, sure.” He mumbled, pressing his cheek against the palm of his hand. He wished he could do more for you, but you weren’t letting him; you had your wall up as high as he had his.
Shuffling to where your coffee maker was, you quickly fixed a cup of coffee for him as if you moved purely on instinct. Taeyong watched you in amusement as you slid a blue mug to his way. The paint of its design was chipping off the edges and it had a small crack on the handle, it definitely had seen better days but he felt oddly drawn to it.
You saw him eyeing it out and you chuckled, “We went out on a pottery class for a date once and I made that mug for you. You refused to drink coffee without it, but I think it’s time for us to throw it out and buy you a better one.”
“No!” Taeyong interjected almost immediately, waving his hands to dismiss your idea. “I like it. We’re keeping it.”
Your chest ached, but you were unable to pinpoint the feeling that made it so, “If you say so.”
Taeyong was a picky man when it came to his coffee. He wasn’t an avid drinker of dark and rich brews, often preferred the sweeter and creamier side of the spectrum. The drink you made for him tasted just right, the perfect balance, and he was overwhelmed with gratitude. It made him laugh, how his taste in college didn’t seem to change in his twenty-three-year-old body.
“You can go look around while I cook.” You remarked, jutting your chin towards the rest of the apartment that he has yet to see as you run your hands under the running water. He followed your gaze and shook his head. You quirk an eyebrow, “You sure? It’ll take a bit before these noodles cook.”
Lala encircled his feet before cozying herself on top of his shoes, refusing to leave his sight. He laughed, bending down to pick her up and place her onto his lap. With his hands deep into the puppy’s golden fur, he asked, “Is Lala supposed to be a reference to the Teletubbies?”
You turned the stove on and plopped in the boxed pasta you retrieved from the pantry, “Your nephew loved the Teletubbies at some point so we made him name her.”
A visible twinkle appeared in Taeyong’s eye at the mention of his nephew. He’d only seen photos of him recently, the last he remembered of him was that he was only an infant cradled in his sister’s arms. And as if a barrier was put down, he asked if you could tell him more about what he had missed in his personal life. If Taeyong from the past trusted you enough to move in and adopt a dog together⁠—which he couldn’t believe he was able to do in college, he had to trust you, too.
You gladly entertained his curiosities while you prepared a mediocre version of his mother’s Jajangmyeon. As obscure some of his questions were, you were as honest as you could be. From how he managed to pass his senior year to how he got the job at his company, he asked it all while stuffing his face with dark noodles.
In your eyes, he looked like a kid who wanted to know what his older brother did, to follow in his footsteps and be just like him. He wanted to absorb so much information, it almost pained you to look at him listening to you with an expression so clearly resembling envy.
He cut you off and called out to you with a voice lower than before, sadder but still hesitant. You glanced at him in worry that you were rambling too much. He averted his attention away from you, “You’re crying.”
Raising a hand to your cheek, it was wet. You coughed in embarrassment, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He mumbled, meekly offering his half-empty drink to you.
You hopped out of your seat beside him, carrying your empty bowl to the sink. You stayed a bit longer away from his line of view, wanting to keep your emotions in check for Taeyong’s first night back in the apartment. You didn’t want to scare him away, he was getting more comfortable and you succumbing to your feelings would ruin everything you’ve worked so hard for.
You turned the tap on and cracked your neck, “I’ll clean up here while you can go take a bath. The bathroom is next to the bedroom.”
He let out a breath and nodded, lingering for a moment before ultimately deciding that it would be best to leave you be. He didn’t know how he could comfort you when he was the reason for your distress, it would only hurt you more if he tried to console you of things he didn’t know of.
He spotted a box on the coffee table on his way to the bathroom, a bright red box with doodles scribbled onto its sides. Glancing at you, he was about to ask what it was inside when he clamped his mouth shut. He sat down on the couch and let his curiosity get the best of him, reaching to fiddle with the latch that sealed it closed.
Inside were piles of polaroid films, photos were not only of you and him but also of his friends from college and people he had yet to remember. An assortment of knickknacks filled it to its brim, variations of trinkets that included movie tickets and receipts. It was a box made to help Taeyong remember the memories he had lost, the connections he had with people that he had forgotten.
Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek, it must’ve been your doing. You probably asked around for others to help assemble the box, his heart swelled at the thought. You were working hard to make himself and his environment feel normal after losing a good chunk of his memories, he had to work hard as well.
His fists were shaking, his knuckles turning a shade paler than it already was. Lala snaked into the crook of his arm and whimpered at her owner’s change of composure. He laughed humorlessly, scratching her belly in appreciation.
Shutting the box closed, he sighed. He made his way towards the unfamiliar bathroom and filled the tub. Doyoung always told him that a bath could melt all of his troubles away, and how he wished it was that easy.
Taeyong came out of his long bath with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, blushing as he hastily pulled on the clothes you had prepared for him in the bedroom. You remained unfazed as you waited for him in a change of sleepwear, he realized that you might’ve already seen him naked before and the thought of it only worsened the state of his cheeks. He perched on the edge of the bed once he was finished.
You grabbed his ointment and attended to the injury on the side of his head, a gash that the doctors had sewn back together. You had a light hand, he noted, but the ache persisted. It burned when the tip of its applicator grazed along the stitches. He reached out to toy with the hem of your shirt, to divert his attention from the pain. You wrapped a bandage around his head as quickly as you could.
You mumbled, “It’s all done.”
“Thank you.” He smiled up at you and you returned it halfheartedly. “Let’s go to sleep, yeah? I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No, don’t! This bed is yours, too.” You said, holding onto his wrists before he could make a home on your busted couch that functioned as Lala’s chew toy half the time. “I know how much your back hurts because of the hospital bed so please, sleep here.”
Taeyong looked at you with a conflicted expression on his face but after seconds of contemplation and mental debate, he relented only if you’d use the bed as well. You sighed and caved in.
He crawled to his side of the bed, making you wonder if there was an inkling of a chance that he remembered how much he preferred his half that faced the windows. You shuffled to your side, mindful to not cross any boundaries. This would be his first time sleeping next to you and you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable by being too close for comfort.
You switched to your side, away from his sight. The awkwardness was suffocating you, it seemed like you were the only one affected by it because soon you felt his side dip as he made himself more comfortable while you were frozen like a statue. You were nearing the edge of the bed, so far the end that one wrong move would make you fall out of it.
“Taeyong, are you asleep?” After an hour of silence, you spoke up but in hopes that he was already sleeping.
Unfortunately for you, he hummed in response. You could feel the blankets shift, making it known that he was facing your direction now that you’ve called him. At your lack of reply, he must’ve thought you didn’t hear him so he cleared his throat, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, look. I just want to say that if you want to break up with me, I’ll understand.”
“What?” He slowly sat up in confusion, hefting himself up with his elbows. You refused to look at him, gnawing on your lips and your eyes squeezed shut as if you were a kid caught by your parents awake past your bedtime.
“This situation we’re in, you don’t have to force yourself to be with me if you don’t want to.” You managed to choke out, choosing your words carefully. “I want you to continue living who you are now, I’ll just hinder you from moving on if I only remind you of the memories you lost.”
He called out your name, much sterner and different from the gentle tone he always used on you. You were suffering worse than he was, that he knew, but he didn’t know just how much until you’ve finally cracked—the insecurities and worries you’ve hidden from him, pouring out all at once and he didn’t know what to do with it.
You were sobbing into the sheets and he could only rub circles onto your back as a failed attempt at comfort. He wanted to tell you so many things, to reassure you that he wasn’t thinking the way you assumed he would be.
Taeyong thought of you so highly. You were someone who carried all of his burdens and stories that made him the person that he was, someone who had so much love for him despite not having it reciprocated back, someone who just wanted him to forgive himself for not being who he was and to start living again. You weren’t just some stranger to him, but the world had robbed him of you.
He ignored his hesitance and whispered under the blanket of the night, “You might’ve lost the Taeyong that you love but I promise I will spend the rest of my days proving to you that I’m worthy of the same love you’ve once given to me.”
“Taeyong—”
“It’ll take some time and I can’t assure you that things will be the same as it was but I swear, I will never forget you again and we’ll be happy.”
There were a lot of things to do, but none of those things were as important to him as lying here next to you, to pick up what remained of you from his ruins. He knew full well that he wasn’t the only victim. He was aware that you were also trying your best for him, to hold onto what’s left of the pieces you used to love about him.
“I really want this to work out.” You admitted amid your hiccups and sniffles, his heart broke at the sound of it. “I know I haven’t lost you yet.”
“Thank you for not giving up on me.” He mumbled, running his nimble fingers through the locks of your hair as a serene silence filled the room as you didn’t say anything back. After a week of being in the hospital, your heavy breathing was enough to lull him into his sleep.
You glanced at him for the first time since you had laid down, observing his furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips. A small smile appeared on your face, he looked tired even though he was already deep in his sleep. You whispered in the dark, “Sleep tight, Taeyong.”
The cold of the night renders you restless once again, your eyes brimming with a bright red hue and utter exhaustion. You swung your legs to the side of the bed, careful enough to not wake your boyfriend who was already asleep. His gentle snores filled the room and you made your way towards the balcony connected to the bedroom with your phone in hand and a blanket draped around your shoulders.
It was another starless sky, you looked up and the absence of the twinkling lights comforted you. You pulled on the blanket closer as you fiddled on your phone, tapping on an option that directed you to a phone call.
“Don’t you know that it’s two in the fucking morning? What do you want?” Doyoung’s voice replaced the monotonous ringing, sounding raspy from what you assumed was his sleep.
“I wanted someone to talk to.” It was your honest answer and you knew he wouldn’t judge you for it.
He yawned, and for a moment you felt a twinge of guilt but it dissipated the second after, “How is Taeyong doing? You brought him back home earlier, right?”
“He’s okay. He’s passed out on the bed right now.” You said, stealing a glance at where Taeyong was sprawled across the bed. A weak smile tugged at the corner of your lips, you haven't seen him more at peace. “It kinda sucks, you know? I want to be strong for him but I don’t know how long I will last.”
“You love him, right?”
“I do. So much.”
“Then just be patient, please. You’re the only person he can truly rely on right now.” Doyoung sounded like he was almost pleading with you, entrusting his best friend to you for a second time with the first was when you agreed to be Taeyong’s girlfriend. He said, “The love you shared is very strong, it conquered many hurdles and it will overcome this.”
You nodded your head, but you remembered Doyoung couldn’t see you. You whispered, “I’m scared, Doyoung.”
“Of?” He asked as quietly as you were being as if you wanted the conversation to only be a secret between each other.
“What if he never loves me again?” Your nail was shoved in between your teeth, your leg anxiously bouncing against the floor. It was a thought that had flitted about your mind but you have shoved it so far back in an attempt to ignore it but it demanded your attention, to face its possibility.
He scoffed at the other end of the line, “It’s Taeyong we’re talking about here. If he could fall in love at his first sight of you in college, he could easily do it again.”
You let out a shaky breath, “Thanks, Doyoung. I needed that.”
“Alright, good night. Take care of yourself.” He said, dropping the call when you didn’t return his farewell.
You bent over the railing, tilting your chin up to face the night sky once more. You scoured the endless dark for even just a glimpse of a shooting star, for a chance to wish upon the universe to end this nightmare of yours. Your boyfriend was right there with you, but you have never felt more lonely.
Shutting your eyes closed, you let out another sigh. You were so tired of crying but it felt like the only thing you could do. You wondered just how much an average person could cry, maybe you’ve exceeded their record.
You left the balcony not too long after, padding back to the bed with a heavier heart. You sat on your side and twisted your body to face Taeyong. His mouth was parted and his cheek was pressed onto the pillow he held onto, a chuckle rolled off your tongue. Before you could even think of stopping yourself, you leaned onto him and placed a kiss onto his forehead.
A familiar heat rises to your neck at what you have done, you jumped from where you sat and raised a hand to your lips as if you’ve been burnt. You hadn’t been this intimate to him since the accident happened.
You grabbed your blanket and bolted to the living room, making do with the couch for the rest of the night as you forced yourself to sleep. Lala sleepily watched you in confusion.
Days passed and things have gone relatively the same as the first time Taeyong returned from the hospital, but you noticed the tension has lifted ever-so-slightly. You finally stopped crying yourself to sleep and eventually he has grown enough courage enough to express his affection—discreetly holding your hand and tugging you into his arms late at night to cuddle.
He was forced to stay at home for the remainder of the month while he recuperated, family and friends have visited from time to time to keep him company while you returned to your job. All the stories he’d heard about the two years he’d forgotten about, all of them were linked to you one way or another and it sparked a familiar surge of jealousy he had over his own self; that his past self made so many good memories with you that he could not never experience again.
His feelings for you were growing steadily, dare he said that he may have grown a crush on you. He could never admit it aloud for how pathetic it was, to have a crush on your own girlfriend. But it was your soft hair, your gentle hands, and your never-ending love and patience for him—these were some of the things he could not believe he had forgotten the existence of, how loved it made him feel, and he was ready to drown himself in it again.
Taeyong received a package when you were still at work one day, the label of his hometown address stamped at the right-hand corner indicated that it was from his parents. He ripped off the packaging tape with Lala nuzzling into his side.
He looked inside and saw his luggage. When he was rushed in an ambulance after his crash, his parents were the firsts to arrive at the hospital so the nurses had entrusted to them his belongings that were found in the wreckage. They failed to return it to him once he regained his consciousness as they hurried home soon after you had arrived, unable to stay much longer for personal matters.
He supposed that he only had clothes in it for he was told that he came from his hometown for a week-long visit. Rummaging through his clothes, he was surprised to see a velvet box hidden underneath the pile.
He took it out and gaped at it with owl-like eyes, he fumbled to flip it open. A shiny sparkle of a diamond reflected a faint rainbow from the sunlight that poured from the nearby window, he stared at it for what seemed like an eternity. Chuckling softly, he held the engagement ring close to his chest with a newfound source of encouragement.
You returned home that day to a romantic dinner. Candles of different scents were lit up and a torn picnic blanket covered the dining table, you took off your shoes and followed the scent of your boyfriend’s familiar cooking and spotted him in the kitchen. He donned a suit but he had on an apron to protect his front, busy with whatever meal he was preparing to see you peeking in from the doorframe.
“What are you doing?” You asked, and Taeyong swore you had on the brightest smile that he had seen in a while.
He turned off the stove and threw aside his apron, he strode his way to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. He placed his chin on top of your head and said, “I want to get to know you better.”
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“But I want to take you out on a first date—well, not out out, but you get what I mean.”
You giggled, pressing your cheek against his chest but you suddenly drew back, the worried expression you had taking him by surprise. Raising a hand to his forehead, you asked, “Your heart is beating really fast. Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?”
He stared at you incredulously before bellowing a laugh, a hearty laugh you’ve never heard before. Shaking his head, a small hint of a smile appeared on his lips. He gently pried off your hand from his face and placed a kiss onto the back of your hand. He said, “I’m okay now.”
You were unconvinced that he was, but his sudden affection made it easy for you to ignore it. He leaned down and stole a chaste peck onto your reddened cheek. He put his hand inside the pocket of his suit and nervously fiddled with the velvet box.
Taeyong lost so much of his memories, but he was ready to make new ones as long as he was with you. He will learn to love you again as much as he did before, if not more as long as the universe allowed his heart to.
934 notes · View notes
genesisrose74 · 3 years
Text
Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!
Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita
Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!
A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!
*****
Kageyama
This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg
He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit
But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible
Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him
Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before
Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it
And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do
Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous
“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”
🥺🥺🥺 bubby
“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”
Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill
He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder
Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations
As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise
But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life
And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle
FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT
That shit is rare
Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun
You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore
And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it
It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday
His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—
Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute
He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism
Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it
Hinata
He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell
Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over
Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then
He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL
If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately
He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺
Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it
It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially
Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is
New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way
You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened
Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨
Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)
“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’
“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”
He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison
“Have I told you how much I love you?”
RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY
Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))
It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household
She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly
In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺
Tsukishima
His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive
You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house
While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys
Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present
Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL
You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS
“Tsukki, how did you—?”
“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”
b r u h
How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??
As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift
His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year
Yes the dinos have names
You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last
It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric
Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him
He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist
Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs
The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima
His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift
But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist
“Thank you.”
You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??
“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”
Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍
But on the inside your body was in freak out mode
He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk
Yamaguchi
Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine
And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top
That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama
Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally
For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must
Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there
Stomach aches? I don’t know her
Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰
Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason
He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide
It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master
You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨
But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you
He’s such a sweetheart uwu
Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present
You know those long distance bracelets for couples?
Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them
This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present
It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face
And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle
“Hey there”
It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours
GOD HE IS SO CUTE
He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️
Kinoshita
This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic
Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt
It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays
He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe
Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi
He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space
And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town
Yeah you heard me
A fuckin’ sleigh ride
Horses and blankets and everything
Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer
Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈
Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride
I legitimately simp really hard for him
Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun
On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless
But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned
He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot
Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love
Narita
Another underrated bby 🥺
He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family
Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations
Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley
Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work
You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing
He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs
Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once
So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised
There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out
Really adorable I cannot lie
“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”
“I might have maybe lied :P”
So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you
Y’all stay there and talk for hours
After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously
“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”
“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”
And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe
You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour
He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever
“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”
It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle
He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does
In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰
146 notes · View notes
the-kings-sister · 2 years
Text
According to the app, I haven’t been active on tumblr in 1011 days. But what the heck, it’s past 2 am and I’m too stressed to sleep.
So here’s a Good Omens analysis because it’s been on my mind for the last three months.
What it takes to discorporate an angel or demon, or, trying to understand the physiology of occult and ethereal forces
What I want to find out is, what’s the limit to which you can push an angel or demon before discorporation? At what point is the danger too much?
First, let’s get something out of the way: angel and demons, despite being immortal, have biological bodies. We know this from the paintball scene, here quoting the book:
“He was bleeding yellow” page 97
“If the stain on it was blood, something had gone very wrong with BIOLOGY” page 98
“Do you normally bleed blue?” Page 98
They have biological systems. They can bleed, therefore they have a circulatory system. And the whole point of circulatory systems is to deliver nutrients and oxygen to various organs, and deliver waste products to the organs that can get rid of them. Why would they have a working circulatory system if their bodies were just a shell and not a complex organism?
That being said, I’m fairly certain that I’ve seen the line “if [Aziraphale] had a heartbeat [something about it being loud]” in the script book, which goes against what I’ve just said. But I’ve elected that that line was a Joke. Similarly, we have the line “A bead of sweat began to form on Crowley’s forehead, and trickled down into one eye.” On page 246 in the novel, but I think somewhere in the script book it’s mentioned that Aziraphale can’t sweat. I could be wrong, I read it a while ago. But again, I’m going to consider that a Joke.
I would also argue that angels and demons clearly have a neurological system because they can see, hear, smell, taste. They can integrate environmental stimuli and react to it as any human would. Not only that, but the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale can get drunk at all shows that they have a physical neurological system that can be impaired just like a human’s. And alcohol could only reach said brain through a circulatory system.
Which brings me to my first point on evaluating what can kill inconveniently discorporate an angel or demon. Alcohol won’t do the trick. Alcohol stays in the blood for up to 6h, and it would take 4 bottles of wine for a man of standard size to die of alcohol overdose. From the book, we know that “one angel and one demon had been solidly drinking for three [hours]” (page 51) and in the show we see 6 bottles on the table being filled back up, 7 of you count the one Crowley might have set down on a different table at the beginning of the scene. Which means that Crowley and Aziraphale drank 3-3.5 bottles each (Crowley probably more than Aziraphale?) in 3 hours, (so we know that most of what they drank is still in their system) but neither looked near the point of overdose.
They also apparently can’t die of asphyxiation. According to Wikipedia, the average person can only stay alive for 3 minutes without air, but you’ll most likely pass out 30-90 seconds after oxygen deprivation. And yet, Crowley drove a flaming Bentley without so much as a cough, and seemed to be able to breath perfectly fine in the burning bookshop. I think I’ve seen the line “Crowley and Aziraphale forgot how to breath a long time ago” in the novel in the final confrontation scenes, but I haven’t been able to find it. How are they able to stay alive without oxygen when we know they have a circulatory system’s whose Whole Point is to transport things like oxygen around the body?
And then again, as evidenced by the fact that Gabriel asks Aziraphale “why do you consume That?”/“I do not sully the temple of my celestial body with gross matter”, we know that angels don’t need to eat to stay alive, and the circulatory system becomes utterly useless once again.
Another thing that can’t kill them: aging. This one’s pretty obvious: Aziraphale and Crowley, as well as every other angel and demon, have been alive for at least 6000 years, possibly much longer. And they haven’t so much aged a day. In humans, certain tissues (such as skin and gut cells) will keep regenerating throughout life to make up for natural wear and tear. However, with every cell replication new mutations are introduced in a person’s DNA. Most will be corrected, but those that aren’t have the possibility of inducing cancer or other diseases if they’re in important genes. Additionally, with every cell replication, our chromosomes get shorter. If they get too short, they might start eating into important genes, which would lead to disease, or the cell thinks it’s undergoing a different kind of problem (chromosome breaks) and will try to fix it but will actually make things Much Worse and again this can lead to disease. If angels and demons are indeed biological entities, the fact that seemingly none of them have died from aging-related diseases shows that you simply can’t discorporate them by waiting it out.
Seems they’re pretty invincible. Of course there’s the bit where Aziraphale loses his body after stepping in the summoning circle when he wasn’t ready. But that was an act of magic, and it isn’t really possible to know how powerful this magic is compared to common dangers of the mortal world.
Really, the only thing that can discorporate them is weapons. We of course know that from Crowley thinking “the last thing he needed was to be killed” after getting shot by a paintball gun, Aziraphale stating “you can’t kill me, there’ll be paperwork” when the n*zis have a gun pointed at him, and Crowley suggesting that it “would take a real miracle for [he and Aziraphale] to survive [a bomb being dropped on them]”. And if Crowley hadn’t intervened, Aziraphale would have likely been sent back to heaven after being guillotined. Fire can also discorporate them, since Hastur was killed by the flames in the burning Bentley. We know Crowley only survived because he has an imagination, so I’m assuming his imagination is what saved him in the burning bookshop too (either that or a spiteful rage so powerful it protected him from burning up as revenge against the world itself for killing Aziraphale).
So, why is it that guns and bombs and fire can discorporate angels and demons as easily as it can kill humans, but smoke and starvation and alcohol and aging don’t??? I’ve come to the following conclusion: angels and demons have an exceedingly high tolerance for accumulative dangers (alcohol, smoke, DNA mutations), likely because they subconsciously use magic to keep themselves alive. They just miracle oxygen into their lungs, nutrients in their blood, etc. Personally, that sounds exhausting but I suppose it becomes second nature when you’ve been doing it for 6000+ years. Explosive events, like gunshots, however can discorporate them because unless they are warned in advanced, they don’t have the time to miracle themselves protection and oops look at that you’re bleeding out already, too late.
I’m still trying to figure out why they have a working circulatory system. Maybe using magic to bring nutrients and oxygen to every single cell is too exhausting, so they just miracle it all to the circulatory system so that it can transport the stuff to the organs. Otherwise it’s just a major body design flaw.
11 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Chapter 08 - The secret
Links: Chapter overview, Character list, Map, Glossar Rating: M over all Publishing cycle: each Friday on (link)
Remarks: all my chapters contain carefully selected music tracks. It’s your own decision if you want to use them or not while reading. The purpose is to musically support the respective mood of the plot. If you can please use a browser for reading (not the Tumblr app) due to the text formatting.
youtube
It was just before dawn when Mattias rode off to meet his companions. There was hardly anyone on the streets and he greeted friendly when he came past someone. After he passed the last house and took the path to the upper rock gate, he saw in the distance a vehicle with a canvas-covered body standing at the side of the road. When his companions noticed him, they waved at him.
When he reached them, he did not dismount but bent down and gave each of them a hand as a greeting. Both wore unobtrusive civil clothing.
“Good morning Trygve, good morning Kristina,” he said, sat up again and put both hands on top of each other on the pommel. “Ready for another trip to the Enchanted Forest?” he asked jokingly.
Trygve pulled a face, “Not really. It cost me almost my whole life.”
Kristina agreed and said, “Yes, I feel the same way. But you know, General Mattias, that we will always stand by your side faithfully. I hope we'll be away from there as soon as possible and I can enjoy my retirement on my little houseboat. The fjord is always better than that dreadful forest.”
Mattias nodded seriously, “I can understand that very well and I'm thankful for your willing to help me on this, hopefully very short mission, to get Elsa back to Arendelle incognito. I also want to return to Arendelle as soon as possible, to my dearest Halima. How have you been doing since you came back? We haven't had much of a chance to talk about it.”
“Well, I am back with my family and we are all doing very well. The financial support from the royal family, respectively from Queen Anna, has helped us all a lot and it makes life more comfortable,” answered Trygve.
Kristina looked far less satisfied and hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Unfortunately I have no one else. My relatives died three and four years ago. I visited their grave only last week. But I have made new friends and we do a lot together. I was also able to buy a houseboat and a small sloop with my severance pay. I sail out with it very often on the fjord.” After a little while, she added, “Over all, I'm doing quite well and I can be happy to spend my retirement in Arendelle this way.”
“I'm happy for you,” said Mattias and smiled, but then, turning to Kristina with a sad expression on his face, he added, “I'm sorry for you, Kristina, that you were not able to see your relatives again. My deepest condolences.”
She nodded sadly, "Thank you."
Trygve had looked at her with concern during her narration and now put a hand on her shoulder. “Sorry for you, Kristina, I didn't know.” They looked at each other. “Let's do something together when we get back ... and hey, if you don't mind I'd like to go for a sail on your sloop with you. I'll bring the food too.”
She laughed and nodded. “I'd love to, Trygve.” But then they both lapsed into thoughtful silence.
“All right, folks, the sun's coming up over the horizon. We should slowly set off,” Mattias interrupted their thoughts and took the reins in his hand.
The two nodded and got on the wagon side by side. Trygve had the draught horse trotted, Mattias rode after them. When they had passed the rock gate, Mattias looked back. The first sunrays had already reached the upper part of the castle and bathed the top in a warm light.
~~~
It was of course Olaf who was the first to notice that something was different than usual. While Kristoff and Anna were still enjoying their togetherness in bed, he had already gone outside in the early morning hours and looked around the camp. Since he had been able to read and write, had read all the books he found in the castle for the last two years, and was now even a regular guest in the Arendelle library, he had developed a new view of the world around him. He was curious and liked to combine contexts that no one else saw as he did. Where others took many things for granted, he questioned everything and was the only one who noticed that the Northuldra camp was unusually empty this morning. Apart from women and children, not a single one of the men was to be seen.
“Tell me, guys, isn't it curious that there are barely any men around the camp today? All I see are some women and their little ones.”
Anna and Kristoff sat together with him still a bit sleepy at the fireplace and looked now first at him, but then also peered around surprised.
“You are right, Olaf,” Anna said and raised her eyebrows. “Where did they all go?”
“Maybe they have heavy work to do and need all the strong men for it?” Kristoff surmised and shrugged his shoulders.
“Or maybe they are doing what they often do in Arendelle Castle in the morning when one of those council meetings is taking place,” Olaf replied. Anna and Kristoff looked at him in amazement.
“Might well be,” Anna pondered and nodded thoughtfully, but what could be so important and why didn't they tell me about it; she asked herself. It certainly has something to do with Elsa, but I am her sister and Queen of Arendelle after all, so I should also be informed about everything that concerns her. She made a thoughtful face.
“Let’s gonna find it out,” Kristoff said and stood up. Then he went straight to the next Northuldra woman who was repairing the tunic of one of her children. “Excuse me, but we were just wondering where all your men went. It's so empty in the camp today.”
“They have important things to do today,” she said with a smile and returned to her work. Kristoff turned to Anna, pursed his lips and, with his shoulders raised, spread his arms wide to communicate the disappointing answer.
Anna frowned and now also stood up to ask the next woman the same question. She headed for a young woman who was cutting vegetables for the morning soup in front of her kota. But Anna did not receive a satisfactory answer either, as her expression indicated, when she turned around again and looked at her companions helplessly.
Shaking her head, she went back. “I guess we won't get an answer from anyone else either, by the looks of it.” They both sat down again and looked at one another questioningly.
What have they got to hide; Anna asked herself, and above all why? She put her head in her hands and pondered.
~~~
youtube
Two Northuldra men waded through a shallow part of a quietly flowing wide creek and started to run faster once they reached the other side. The forest was slowly getting denser and man-sized bushes seemed to block the way. But the men knew exactly where a hidden path led through the undergrowth, and shortly afterwards they were no longer to be seen.
When they came out on the other side they stepped into a wide clearing. In the center was a large, elongated building, the upper part of which consisted of a tower-like construction, with skilfully timbered beams that protruded from the symmetrically built roof and ended at the upper end under a pyramid-shaped, open spire. Inside, a narrow wooden staircase led to the top, ending in a small platform. The lower part of the building had some narrow window openings placed remarkably high below the long roof boards, designed exclusively to let light into the interior.
Besides from the central entrance no windows were visible. Instead, at regular intervals long white birch branches were attached to the house in such a way that it almost looked as if they would support the whole structure. The branches protruded through the overhanging roof and then branched filigree upwards. Around the house, large birch trees grew at regular intervals, which were conspicuously straight and with their foliage formed a natural roof over the entire clearing and the building. This place looked impressive and almost magical.
Tumblr media
The men rushed through the open double door and one of them pulled it shut behind him.
“Oh man, there you are at last, you're late! You must have been up against a big fish again, Joná?” joked one of the men standing near the entrance, laughing at the fisherman. It was the same one who had been on the beach the day before with a few others to interrogate Joná. Behind him, the hall was filled with Northuldra men, who seemed to be waiting for something, and some of them were talking animatedly.
Joná pulled a face, “Of course not, Völund, but the catch has to be brought to the camp by somebody, or do you want to have stinking fish on your plate later?” Völund waved off bored and turned around again.
The two fishermen looked at each other for a moment, nodded suspiciously and sneaked to the right side of the hall, where there was a second, smaller entrance. This door was wide open. Joná looked around and had to admit to himself that they had apparently really been the last, all the men from the camp were already present. Then he looked up in amazement. The room was very high with an open beam construction. Daylight flooded through the narrow windows. Torch holders were placed under each opening, and underneath them ran a balustrade around the entire interior. At the front, opposite the double doorway, a narrow staircase wound upwards, part of which led inwards in a semicircle and ended in a small opening at the top leading to the tower they had seen from the outside.
Joná had never been here, but of course he knew about the place and the purpose of it. In earlier days there was always a big kota in their camp, with a second entrance remarkably similar to the one he was standing next to now. This access was usually reserved for the shaman, the Noaidi of their people and this kota was used exclusively for rituals and the Norting, a grand assembly of his people. But this was long before his time and on recent decades, as he knew, there was no need of calling out a Great Ting. The last time was before the dam was built and the diplomatic negotiations with the foreigners from Arendelle were started. On these days, their elder had called for a meeting, but was shortly after murdered by this king behind his back. Today Yelana was their unspoken leader, and now it fell to her to proclaim a Norting if neccessary.
Joná was too young back then to attend such a meeting, but his father had told him all about it. Every man in his tribe ought to attend it as they came of age. At least when the opportunity arose. Today was apparently such a day, and Yelana, although not a Noaidi, just came in through the side door. She glanced around the hall for a moment and nodded at him briefly when she noticed him. Joná raised an eyebrow in surprise. Then she circled the waiting men and stood on one of the lower stairs to be heard well everywhere. It became quiet among those present.
She cleared her throat. “Traditionally, I am obliged to call a Norting when an important decision is about to be made and its consequence affect all of us. There are disturbing news related to recent events.”
In the hall there was a low murmur and many looked at each other with concern.
“However, I must first point out that my conclusions are based on suppositions, some of which have not yet been confirmed. Highly plausible assumptions, however. Our fifth spirit Elsa was probably attacked on purpose and there is possibly a certain person behind all this, someone who might have a good reason for it. That someone is also most likely behind the disappearance of the other four nature spirits.”
The worried murmurings in the hall abruptly increased.
“Hear me. I had a hunch, so I went to see Gyda yesterday.”
From the ranks of those present, someone shouted out loud and clear, “Gyda? What does this old witch have to do with it?”
Yelana's gaze swept around, angrily fixating on the one who presumed to disturb her speech and pointing at him with an admonishing index finger. “Be quiet and don't interrupt me! You have no idea what you are talking about. Gyda is not who many of us think she is. She is a solitary person, I admit, but she has been through a lot in her life, and if you would let me finish, you would understand.”
Yelana took a deep breath and outlined in short, rough words what Gyda had told her and how much it had burdened her. However, she left out the climax for now. Yelana was known for her seriousness, but there was one thing she did not miss out on, and that was to bring certain things to the point at the right time. Some of the younger men opened their eyes in surprise when she ended, but didn't dare say anything. Yelana noticed it, of course.
“Yes, those of you who were born under the mist may not have known it yet, but before Elsa, we had another fifth spirit. The older ones among you, including me, still knew him. He was difficult to deal with him, to say the least.”
Some nodded affirmatively.
“It was Gyda's own decision that she lived in seclusion ever since, and many of us have supported it. We have all, in our gullibility, judged her prematurely.”
One could see how many of the heads were lowered and it became quiet as a mouse.
And then Yelana got to the point, and somehow she enjoyed that moment, “Gyda had a son!”
It was quiet for a second, and everyone remained motionless to process what they had heard, but in the next second a wave of excited, loud word fragments burst onto Yelana, when most people suddenly realized what it meant. Yelana let them go for a few moments, but then struck several times hard with her gnarled birch cane on one of the steps above her. The whole construction vibrated and boomed and it became instantly quiet again in the hall.
“We do not know what he is capable of. But the fact that he apparently has the spirits under control and tried to kill Elsa and almost succeeded tells me that he is not to be underestimated by no means. He is different from his father in one crucial respect. He's out for revenge. Revenge on all those who were partly responsible for his father's death. Revenge on all those who came from Arendelle, home of that murderer Runeard.” She let the words sink in, then continued in a softer, but insistent voice.
“I deliberately did not invite Queen Anna and her companions, for as long as they are among us, we too may be the target of Kolgrimr, the name Gyda gave to him. For the time being, none of them may know our secret of the old fifth spirit and his son, and if they had not already planned to leave tomorrow and take Elsa with them, I would have arranged for it myself. Both Anna and Elsa are half Northuldra and half Arendellian and are descended from one of our oldest families. We owe them both so much when they freed us last year and we have made a new peace between us and Arendelle. But I admonish you all anyway. All this is something that we cannot control and we all have to decide this way, because unfortunately there is still something you do not know.”
Yelana paused in the silence and then looked over to Joná. “Come here, Joná,” she said forcefully and waved him over.
All heads turned and looked into the corner where he was standing. Völund's jaw dropped and Joná didn't know what was happening to him. He hesitated and looked around him nervously.
“You need not be afraid. Come...,” Yelana added reassuringly. Slowly he moved towards her, his head lowered and he wished he could hide now, it was clearly visible on his face. Finally he stood next to her and she put her hand on his shoulder.
“Because we had just talked about the fact that many of us have many prejudices and show a lack of respect for one of our own. Here stands Joná and he has done something that showed a lot of courage and conviction to want to help us all. He dared to approach Ahtohallan with his boat despite the ban, because he wanted to find out what was behind all these events. I don't mean to say that I approve, but he found out something that we otherwise wouldn’t know and which was ultimately decisive in convening this Norting.” She whispered to him that he could go back, and Joná hurried to comply.
“Ahtohallan lies beneath a magical fog wall, identical to the one that trapped most of us here for over 34 years. This is probably also the reason why Ahtohallan no longer has a connection to the nature spirits and can no longer help us. There is only one person who can be responsible for this and I hope you now understand why we are all in great danger if this kind of threat should come upon us.”
The ensuing turmoil was indescribable and Yelana had a hard time bringing everyone back to their senses. In the end, she raised both arms and moved her hands up and down to appease them.
“Please calm down again! I can understand your concern, but we are not his main target, please be aware of that. Kolgrimr survived somewhere under the mist completely alone for over 35 years since he was a seven year old kid and he never turned against us once. I guess none of us can even imagine the hatred and despise he has for Arendelle. That is also the reason why none of them can stay among us here. He has only recently started to put his plans into action and I can only hope that Elsa will very soon remember who she was before and what powers she once had. Keep your eyes and ears open and tell me immediately if you discover anything unusual. But please, stay away from him. He may be Northuldra, but no one can say what has become of him in all this time.”
Yelana took a deep breath and finally dissolved the assembly. “That's all for now. You can go back to camp now.”
As the last of them had streamed out of the hall, she sat down on the stairs, a little exhausted. “I don't want to be in the shoes of the Arendellians and I hope that Elsa still has her magic,” she muttered softly to herself and it sounded almost like a prayer.
~~~
---
I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment if you liked the story, I would be pleased to read your opinions, even criticisms. If you want to be tagged as soon I publish the next chapter please let me know.
Remarks: Back when I was writing this chapter, I dreamed of this hidden building and always wished that someone might be able to draw it for me or that I would be able to do it myself. It wasn't until recently that I dared to do an edit and took Disney's concept art of the Northuldra-style Arendelle Castle as a basis for my story and modified it accordingly. I wish I had better quality imagery for the two Northuldra fishermen there, it took me quite a bit of effort. Hope you like the result.
Tagging: @karma26 @whether-near-to-me-or-far @annaofthenorthernlights @igotelsapregnanthelp
18 notes · View notes
Text
Pockets and Gifts
Thirteenth Doctor x reader
A late birthday fic for @kinglivv. Sorry it took so long but i hope you had the Best birthday, ily babe. it's short, and i never proofread, but hopefully it's sufficiently soft
(Also, i intended to start adding the 'read more's to my fics after actually learning how to do them, but my tumblr mobile is still being fecky. they'll be there from now on though)
Taglist: @psychobitchtess @dykecious @osterhagen @lostshadow12 @thejinxmaster @bitemealiienboy @im-tired-24-7 @sweetlittlesoufflegirl @truthbehindthemysteries @startrekkingaroundasgard @ettorah @theaussietimelord @captainlgordon @findingyouagain @fabulous-jj-style
Tumblr media
When travelling in time, there becomes a tendency to lose count of the real hour of the day, or indeed the day itself. This is why you were absolutely meticulous about it. No matter where the Doctor took you, far into the future or past, or onto a planet with an entirely different time rotation, you'd make a habit to know what time it would be on earth since last leaving.
It was pointless of course, the Doctor told you so many times, as she'd often take you all back home either at the same time as leaving or an accidental few hours late. But it grounded you. It grounded you back to a small sense of reality and a slight normality. And the Doctor wasn't one to deny you that luxury, even if she often stated that it wasn't technically a 'tuesday' or 'wednesday' like you insisted on mentioning back on earth.
She'd even told you that there was no point in celebrating your birthday on the technically correct time relevant to you. You'd go back home and have to do it all again either a few days or few hours later. And if it was a few hours later, she'd said, you'd have to eat a second lot of party food after already being full.
"Don't have to celebrate it, just like knowing that it technically will be my birthday."
She'd only hummed, launching into a rant about the effects of time travel on someone's internal body clock. You hadn't quite listened.
Besides, you hadn't even mentioned it on the day. You'd just thought about it silently to yourself. A year older. And any adventure from the TARDIS was like a giant sized birthday treat in itself. No one else had really mentioned it either, you'd all celebrate eachother's birthdays back on Earth. It was much more simple. Besides which, you preferred to have it as your own little uplifting secret.
Though, on the way into the console room, Graham had patted your shoulder with a muffled "Happy birthday, mate," mouth filled with a half eaten jaffa cake. That was more than enough for you, especially added to the unusual ease the TARDIS had given you in navigating her halls that morning.
The adventure had seemed fairly common place too. A misdirection by the TARDIS on where the Doctor had intended to go, which meant a fun, slightly dangerous and adrenaline inducing adventure. Run around a bit, run around a bit more, listen to an inspiring lecture on morality from the Doctor, and get back inside with smiles and cups of tea. No getting stuck in a jail cell with the latter after all devices useful to an escape had been taken away.
No getting stuck in a jail cell.
Huh.
"We'll be out in no time, don't you worry. Good in a tight spot, me, always 'ave been. Sonic's just a conveniance, a proper nice conveniance, but I can do without it."
She was pacing around the limited space, boots hitting against the dampness of the floor, hands absolutely flailing as her nose twitched in thought. You'd opted for sitting back against the wall instead, arms loosely leaning on your outstetched knees, looking up at her with an encouraging expression. At least you hoped it was an encouraging expression. You really had nothing else to offer. You'd even told her so when she'd asked for any ideas.
"Nonsense. Full of good ideas, you are. Catching Yaz up with points too," she said, before spinning on her heel to look upon the whole cell. You assumed she was remembering that the others were in seperate cells, her brows furrowing and lips pressing together in a manner that suggested this was simply inconveniant.
"Aren't you doing gold stars?"
She snapped out of it and swung back to you, face animated in rememberance. "I knew I'd gotten it mixed up. Gold stars, points, they're all the same. You can have one now! Gold star, for bein' a great listener."
"I've just sat here," you told her quite frankly, not too bothered one way or the other.
She seemed oddly offended by it however, walking straight towards you with her arms flailing. "You've done more than just sit there. Been handy to bounce my thoughts off, and you're calm! Calm in a prison cell, and on your sort of birthday no less."
You managed a barely audible laugh at that, smiling up at her with barely contained amusment. "Thanks, doc." Besides her praise at your supposedly helpful calmness, you were honestly a little surprised. She hadn't even said the word 'birthday' so far, nor had she alluded to it in any sense. It'd be a very odd thing to notice if it had been anyone else, but the Doctor always looked particularly awkward at any mention of it, and often started talking a mile a minute at how the widespread human tradition confused her.
She stopped then, arms falling to her side as she resigned to rather dramatically falling to your side.
"You alright?" You ask.
She only hums.
"You sure you don't have anything in your pockets. They only took your sonic didn't they?" She'd taken two barbie dolls out of one pocket before, much to everyone's confusion. It would've been sinister if it had been anyone else, but it convinced you that she hadn't been lying about her 'pocket innovation.'
The Doctor pursed her lips. "Nothing." Very unconvincing.
"You know when you told me I'm a bad liar- "
"Nothing I want to use," she clarified, recluding back into her standoffish mode that was so common place now. You tried to avoid it as much as possible, but she had a tendency to be dramatic.
"That's fine and everything, but the others..." you attempted softly.
She was silent and still for just a moment, before turning to face you. There was a slight panic that you'd done something wrong, but she seemed more gently saddened that anything else. "I'd have to take it apart." You were silent as she reached inside of her coat and pulled out a small, square, black shaped box. She held it in her hand for a moment longer. Then it was passed to you.
You furrowed your eyebrows. It was yet another two moments before she seemed to realise that she hadn't explained anything, but simply handed you a mysterious box with a saddened gaze. "Oh, right. A present. Your present."
"My present?"
"Honestly," she chastised, "that's what I just said."
You shouldn't have been mentally mocking her for taking so long with every action taken in the cell, because here you were staring, wide eyed and open mouthed. To be fair, it har been highly unexpected. First of all, she'd been very elusive and vague as to what was in her pockets, and second of all, this didn't seem like her at all.
You opened it nonetheless, as careful as possible and placed the lid down. A pocket watch. A deep blue and silver outlined pocket watch, with a rather intricate looking face. Since you made no move to touch anything other than picking it up, she leaned over to twist a button on top. The time changed, and the date above it shifted. "The time on Earth in relation to when you were last there. It'll change every time you go back home." She twisted the button again. "How old you are, the time in relation to how long you've been travelling in the TARDIS. She helped me with that bit."
You seemed to just keep staring at her. It was incomprehensibly thoughtful and infinitely more personal. An oddity for someone who often tried to keep her feelings hidden.
"I, uh, used the parts of an old watch of mine."
She seemed nervous now. You should assure her. You should assure her and stop staring at her, because that was strange. "Thanks." Shit, that sounded apathetic and ungrateful. "I mean, I didn't- it's amazing, Doctor. Didn't expect it."
"Only thing I have on me that can get us out." Oh. "The springs," she elaborated weakly. Oh.
You looked down at it, stroking the pattern on the back with your thumb. "If it's the only thing," you said, somehow even more weakly.
You were very close to eachother now. She'd leaned in to adjust the watch and apparently hadn't moved. The warmth was nice. It'd be nicer if she didn't look so much more upset than you.
"I can just keep asking you for the times anyway," you attempted to reassure her. "Probably much more interesting if I keep annoying you, especially for me."
The laugh was more of a puff of air akin to a scoff than anything else, but it was something. And then there was something more. "Don't think you're capable of annoyin' me, Y/n." Your throat dried, and your lips turned up. You vaguely remembered that she had once mentioned how her biology meant she could hear as much as a heartbeat increasing. You didn't quite believe it, but it made you a little nervous in than moment nonetheless.
"I'll continue to try then." You tentatively uncurled her hand and placed the watch on her palm. "Trips with you a- and the fam, are beyond gift enough, Doc."
The smile on her face was more than genuine, and you reckon that your rapidly beating heart had suddenly stopped. It certainly felt like it. But it seemed justified. A rare sight that you alone just got the pleasure of witnessing. Maybe the happiness that came along with that was selfish, but you couldn't say you minded all too much.
"Happy sort of birthday, Y/n."
158 notes · View notes
anthropos-metronff · 3 years
Text
So Tumblr is under the misapprehension that I’m one of the top Kuja blogs, so let’s actually make a serious post on the subject.
I know everyone has a different relationship to the ultimanias - some people regard them as holy writ, others just think they're apochrypha. Personally I like to treat them as the newspaper and straw for the nesting boxes of my headcanons - useful as inspiration and interesting, but only that.
Anyway, so today I’m calling bullshit on a specific part of the FFIX ultimania. The notion that Kuja had an inherent design flaw which gave him an especially powerful will.
Okay. So, assuming Garland noticed and rectified that flaw, as the ultimania assures us he did, then Zidane should have a propensity to conformity, meekness, subsmissiveness and hahaha yeah good joke.
To me the 'especially powerful will' thing is like the ultimania interviewed Garland and is just reciting his line.
“I created a fully-formed person, and would you believe it? He didn't want to obey me completely and absolutely. Anyway, that was no good, so I created a baby that I could brainwash and indoctrinate from birth to serve as my tool of ethnic cleansing.”
I'm really interested in where Garland is located in fandom. It’s hard to judge on that score though because the fic sample size is tiny and people don’t routinely discuss a twenty year old game in online spaces, but do I get a feeling there’s sometimes a kind of moral tonal indifference to Garland. (I’m talking on the wider internet here, not on just Tumblr or in fics)
If you're thinking this is leading into being a complete apologia for Kuja, then it's not - his actions are wrong - but the notion that they're opaque, motivationally-speaking, is ludricuous. Who the hell wouldn't want to be free of Garland - a creator who is all-powerful and will never die and who has a permanent grievance that you can’t be sufficiently controlled, which he won’t shirk? And will dispense with you once your function is fulfilled?
Garland's goals are essentially identical to Sephiroth's. Murder the planet as it exists and re-establish a "shining future" in its place.
Nice Guy Grandad.
So I’d like to move away from, insofar as it exists, tonal indiference to Garland. The tacit though not explicit acceptance I do sometimes see that yeah, Garland probably had a point on Kuja. (I mean, Kuja is very prickly and emotionally brittle - which obviously doesn’t have anything at all to do with him being created by a loveless, mass-murdering control freak.)
I mean - I’ve seen someone suggest-but-not-really-because-I-don’t-wanna-get-into-this-debate that Hojo kind of had a point on Vincent. But implying that Hojo kinda had a point on Sephiroth - that Sephiroth was just a bad seed? I mean I do recall some people believing that in pre-Compilation days, but that’s certainly not even close to being the dominant view in the FF7 fandom today. It’s not even really just A View. Quite the opposite in fact.
I feel like I’d be negligent if I didn’t say I really feel like the ultimania is working, probably subconsciously, off Kuja being so heavily queer-coded. 'Flawed from birth’ ‘Too strongly-willed’. ‘Why don’t you just pipe down?’ Uh huh. Heard those before. (Kuja’s character arc is itself problematic in this context, but that’s a post for another day)
So let’s all give a big, warm Fuck No to the ultimania with its ‘flawed from birth’.
No-one’s worthless.
One of the core themes of FFIX is self-determination/autonomy, be it moral or existential. Or as (probably) Mikoto says in one of the final scenes of the game, while Kuja's actions were wrong, the defiance of Garland gave the Genomes the inspiration that you can live independently and autonomously.
Apparently the FFIX ultimania needs to be told this from its own game, but Kuja’s problem is not that he’s too strongly-willed ffs. His problem is everything he does after embracing being ‘too strongly-willed’.
Kuja perpetuates the same abusive disregard for self-determination and dignity he himself suffered onto the Black Mages in turn, in pursuit of being free of Garland. That is one of his crimes, and it is also his tragedy.
Anyway I’m signing off now because someone is making Shinra mansion-style ghost noises somewhere outside my window. If you made it this far, then thank you.
24 notes · View notes
theriu · 3 years
Text
A Meager Attempt At A Cool Rocks Post
So I have been inspired by @reddpenn​'s superb Cool Rock Posts. I too have a love for cool rocks, but it pales in comparison to the breadth and depth of both collection size and rock knowledge Redd has. Alas, my love of rocks remains uneducated and amateur, which is kind of ironic since I took three geology classes in college for my science credits. (Turns out I just like pretty things, actually remembering their formation and hardness and stuff doesn’t factor in.)
Nonetheless! I wish to share my small but still lovely collection of rocks and what little I know about them!
Tumblr media
I have made this little display for our purposes. Obviously there are a few stand-ins so that my collection does not look too lonely, but if there is one thing I do excel at collecting, it is cool-looking Stuff to scatter around my house. Pay no mind to the Trex, he was a recent purchase from the home decoration store because he LOOKS like rock, which I think we can all agree is a good aesthetic for him. So far he has been a very good chap.
We shall start with the Small Boys:
Tumblr media
These are the rocks I've had the longest, and in truth pay little mind to. As anyone who has frequented a gift shop with a rock section will recognize, these are the kind of assorted rocks one finds in a box, pays for by weight or bag limit, and takes home in a charming felt pouch. I don't even know what kind of rocks they are. Perhaps variations of the same kind? Someone with greater rock knowledge than I may know.
But you should know that, when it comes to rocks, I have a secret:
Tumblr media
I really, really, REALLYREALLYREALLY like rocks you can SEE INTO
There's something so beautiful and magical, even mysterious, about translucent stone. Be it a glass ball full of swirled colors or a rough chunk of rock revealing deeply embedded inclusions, the depth and glow of a transparent or translucent rock fills me with delight. Perhaps it puts me in mind of bodies of water, and all the life swimming about in them. It makes you want to believe there is more to this simple stone, to imagine cool fantasy stories around their hidden abilities. This is why this seemingly boring Gray found a home - look how he lights up! Even Green has a bit of glow! (Blue does not, sadly, but he is blue. I like blue. :D)
My fondness for orange rocks is also going to become highly apparent as we continue:
Tumblr media
Left: A GORGEOUS carnelian palm stone I found at a steampunk convention last year. I think I paid $30 for it. Now, I am not one to dole out large amounts of money for rocks willy-nilly - I have to be REALLY CERTAIN I love a rock enough to spend the asking price (i.e. How Likely Am I To Hold And Stare At This Rock For Long Periods?). But just look at this BEAUTY! It's like I'm holding a small chunk out of the rings of Saturn in my hand. It is also just about the right shape to pass for a dragon egg. And, I mean, look at it in the light:
Tumblr media
Tell me that doesn’t look like a yolk. XD
I waffle between imagining this as a dragon egg, or plotting to incorporate it into my orange-and-yellow mandalorian cosplay as a chunk of stone from an old Jedi temple that my mando has hooked up to an arm device that uses it to detect force-users in the vicinity. Like I said, rocks are awesome for creating cool stories. :D
(Also: while I do not ascribe to the new age-y uses of palm stones, I will say that there is something decidedly pleasant about just holding a gorgeous, smooth, cool rock that fits perfectly in the palm of your hand!)
Back to the first picture, because Tumblr has an obnoxious 10 pic limit on posts...
Right: This is my newest rock, purchased just this week at the Boonshoft Museum of Discovery. Sometimes a particular rock just jumps out at you, and that is what happened with this very reasonably-priced $5 piece of orange calcite I brought home. 
It looks like a huge chunk of candy. I almost want to eat it. But where it lacks the superior factor of rock candy that is deliciousness, this citrine has the estimable advantage of not turning sticky no matter how long I touch it.
And once again, when held up to the light...
Tumblr media
Look at that gorgeous glow! She turns almost yellow in the light! I tell you, I looked at most of the orange citrine in the box, but this one that initially grabbed my attention just really stuck with me. Sometimes rock collecting is just the simple joy of finding that rare rock that really leaps out at you ahead of all the other pretty rocks which give you your fill for a few seconds before being left peacefully on their shelf.
(In other words, find the rocks that you want to stare at while spinning in your palm for unreasonable amounts of time like a crow adoring its shinies.)
Now, this little slice of a geode (I THINK??? Experts please advise) isn't very exotic. But for the paltry sum I paid for it at a rummage tent, and the GORGEOUS swirls this picture does not do justice, I think my reasons for claiming it are clear:
Tumblr media
Someone more knowledgeable than me, please feel free to point out what qualities make this piece so lovely. It is amazing, like the frozen visage of a swirly space storm frosted with ice. I want to make it into jewelry or attach it to something, and I never wear jewelry. Why is the carrying around of pretty stones just to look at fondly in bored moments not more socially acceptable, I ask you?! (Not that this has stopped me, at times.)
Alas, I'm probably getting a bit long-winded, but we are nearing the end of the collection! And I'm sure someone out there is interested in the contents of this fun little box:
Tumblr media
This was actually a prize I won for completing the scavenger hunt games in first place at a Steampunk convention several years ago! And I LOVE IT! A perfect little custom exhibit box, complete with labels! It looks so cool on my shelf. And all the pieces are authentic!
First, the ever-familiar purple amethyst. I must confess, I am a slight hipster in regards to liking things a bit more if they are less well-known, and perhaps that is why I don't have much opinion about amethyst. It is undeniably lovely in color and translucency, but it's just EVERYWHERE - I feel sometimes like it is the unofficial mascot of Cool Rocks In Gift Shops. So this rock isn't high on my favorites list, but it still feels right to have a piece.
The trilobite is my real favorite of the group. Look how big he is! Look how complete! I'd never held such a big one before this, much less owned it! And he's still a little guy compared to some out there! So cool!!! And he is indeed a rock, because fossils :D
And the last one isn’t a rock at all, but come on, ACTUAL VIKING AGE METAL. That's just cool.
But what's this? A mere decorative addition? An imposter?!
Tumblr media
Sure, sand and glass are both made of silicates, but they don't really count as Cool Rocks, or even gems. But what's that there, tucked away in the shell...?
Tumblr media
My genuine pink pearl from Hawaii! Now, granted, pearls are not your typical rock. But they ARE considered gems, just made by a living creature, so I felt it deserved a mention. I got this two years ago on a family vacation to Maui, at the Dole Plantation. While pearls have never been a favorite of mine, this one is special to me because my mother, sister, and cousin also did the "open an oyster and get the pearl inside" touristy thing that places like this offer. We almost all got different colors, and it was just really cool. There is a hole drilled in one side in case I ever want it mounted in a ring or something, but truthfully, I wish I had left it pristine. It now resides as a secret treasure in my other, glassier souvenir from that cool trip.
Alas, these are all the rocks and near-rocks I have to share. If you like cool rocks and want to learn actual cool science about LOTS of cool rocks, definitely check out @reddpenn​'s blog, where you will find MANY COOL ROCK POSTS SERIOUSLY REDD YOU HAVE SO MANY COOL ROCKS!!! 
And if you wish to share YOUR cool rocks, I highly encourage you to do so! Let me be your forerunner in sharing cool rocks without actually knowing all the sciency stuff behind them, because sometimes you just like things because they are pretty and tickle your imagination.
~River
169 notes · View notes