#i also wanna make the move up north sooner rather than later so i can figure out how im gonna get the gardening business going

[shinygoku]

gordon gordon gordon gordon

Gordon Gordon Gordon Gordon!!

He's been sneaking into these asks by proxy, so it's finally time for his dedicated session, hehe~

First impression

WUAAAGH what's up with this WEIRD LONG NOT-THOMAS and his FACE?!

Impression now

His face is still pretty weird! But you know what else it is? Part of an Absolute Legend ✨

Like, man, Gordon is such a big presence and interesting character, the entire premise leans heavily on him. I'm inclined to go as far as to say that the Blue Boys of 1, 2 and 4 here are the three most important characters for the franchise (not at all to knock everyone else lmao) and they slot nicely into a Triforce of Courage, Wisdom and Power, and Gordon has Power in spades!

Gordon is The Vain One (not James!). He's legit very strong and the fastest on Sodor (which isn't just being a big fish in a small pond because that island has some crazy cool engines!) but unfortunately he lacks humility. His success seems to have been lodged in his head before the series even begins and this Pride is the source of pretty much every single conflict he's involved in.

But when it isn't his self satisfaction in his actions, it's being smug about being such a grand, magnificent Tender Engine and he is snooty as hell about it. He seems to look at smaller engines [pretty much everyone compared to him lol] as a lesser class, particularly if they're small and cheeky and Tank Engines. This may not be the case exactly, but his way of talking to them and some other things he says are very condescending.

However... as much as a gigantic jerk he is at several points, with Gordon I kinda feel like he plain ass doesn't conceive of his words being out of line. That and having to Unlearn things... he's not innately better than everyone else. He sees things in black and white. There are Useful Engines, and those who should be scrapped. There are Noble Tender Engines and Lesser Tank Engines who exist to do the tedious chores on behalf of the Superior ones. Edward doing shunting is seen as Demeaning and contradicts Gordon’s world view that Tender Engines Don't Stunt™, and he doesn't like that one bit! (Also Edward was crossing the picket line but that wasn't Awdry's concern lmao)

Related is Gordon does seem oddly dense at times, like assuming that Tenders are in of themselves a Status Symbol rather than a large lunchbox of sorts lol, or that Tender Engines like him being too heavy for Branch Lines being because something about Branch Lines are degrading. This might be all Elitist Brainwashing influence. But still, that he just takes these as The Truth means I get to affectionately call him an idiot. And there is no other way to explain how he genuinely believes Bill and Ben were going to murder him if he wasn't missing a few brain bolts in there.

Fortunately, he does eventually start to learn the important lessons.... very gradually, but the Early Gordon is a pretty different beast to Later Gordon, and it's wonderful~

Also, I gotta give credit to him for having some moments of utter brilliance and actual grasp of reality and more complex matters, like culture. (Yeah, I'm rolling with his geniune Opera Knowledge from s6 of all things. It's good!) As much as Awdry himself may have disagreed, Gordon was in the right to want a Station Pilot and the Strike was called for (not bullying Edward for it, but myeah) ...but this leads to my next point: He seems to have a mental block when it comes to Emotions.

Certainly, he's as emotional as the others are, it's not just a scale of Snooty, Arrogant, Condescending, Prideful ....well, it is, but ALSO the more mixed and varied feelings: Shame, Sadness, Fear, Ambivilance, Irritation, Anger, Passion, Amused, Delight and so on. However, Gordon is seemingly unaware of how his words may make the others feel, and even at his cruellest it doesn't look like he's aware he's twisting a knife in. To Gordon, he's being honest, but his verbose manner ends up twisting and wriggling away from any valid point like an overgrown vine that somehow links back to how [Other Engine] is disgracing him, Gordon, by association.

Examples include: Being offended by Henry's new shape (??? Gordon dude he nearly died and this is an improvement, a good thing!), saying that Edward's age and difficulty starting a heavy ass packed load of passengers is grounds to be Retired or even Scrapped, other little insulting things like calling the likes of Thomas and James Little insistently (it seems to vary if he's trying to put them down or actually be affectionate), and many more when in the hands of inept writers who have to wheel out the same Gordon Learns A Lesson Plot every other season.

Like I said in the James post, I also think he kinda poisoned the Red guy with his snooty attitude... but I maintain that I think Gordon was unaware of this. He may know he has Influence, and enjoy that, but he really truly doesn't appear to mean to mould James into a smaller, redder version of himself. He's oblivious and from his own point of view, benevolent. Which is in fact a dangerous combo indeed!

It's... a lot o7;;

Again though, if you're looking at the books and s1-s5 of TVS you can see him grow and change. He does take a while to learn the lessons, but as time goes on he moves 2 steps forward and 1 step back, then eventually less steps back entirely. It's great! And so is Gordon. A big dumb meathead with not entirely uncalled for delusions of granduer. A dramatic so-and-so who is the best engine for his job.

I love this sophisticated jock who grows more kindness~ 💙

Favourite moment

Hm! This isn't as easy to decide lol. We all like Gordon Goes Foreign... but you know what sticks in my mind more?

hOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH

Look, I’m not 100% objective, here! But Ringo’s read of this line is fantastic (and keeps making me expect him to finish saying OOOHH SHIT) and it’s also a well deserved bolt of divine retribution for how rude he was being earlier. (As long as my essay already was, he very much needed the knocking down of some pegs here!)

Idea for a story

While both my fics with him thus far have been variations of Pre-Canon, Full-Arrogance and Snobbish Gordon (and both were a lot of fun!) ...but I cannot bear the same expired horse being beaten more when the story is set waaay later but he’s still up his own ass. Please, PLEASE writers, let him hold what growth he’s managed to gain!

I think it’d be good to accept that he’s gonna be outdated sooner or later, so have him help train another High Speed Engine and take them under his wing. The Christopher Awdry books kinda have something similar with Pip and Emma, but I think a better way of having Gordon be involved would be if he was actively doing some mentoring himself, as well as being a neat parallel with Edward, whose type was once Express only but got outclassed by A1s, and so the same can happen to this big A1 -> A3 lad and he can form a healthy relationship with some bright eyed newbie (and maybe have some self awareness and try to stop their head getting too large, lol).

Unpopular opinion

I know I just said him mentoring would be a cool story idea, but in canon? He is NOT a resident Dad type!! He’s a hotshot young man but he’s also a hot mess. He’s physically large but he’s not got the Energy of someone who dispenses sage advice and a shoulder to cry on. At best, he’s a weird uncle! One who means well but you shouldn’t take his life advice to heart because he’s actually just as, if not more clueless than you!

Favourite relationship

I feel inclined to say Thomas here. Emphatically not because Gordon is ‘old’ and Thomas is ‘young’, but because they’re so damn alike and actually make an excellent, albeit unconventional type of Rivalry.

Both are self important with genuine finesse in their respective talents, both are honest to a fault, both have redeeming qualities to offset their initial abrasiveness, and the first TVS episode is centred on the both of them and sets the tone for the series as a whole. There’s more parallels, of course, but I also wanna point out they’re effectively the mascots of North Western Rail in universe too, and I absolutely love this picture:

I also have immense fondness for the Down the Mine paradigm shift! Thomas gives Gordon grief over the ditch incident and later when it emerges the Fat Controller is gonna send for Gordon to pull him out, Thomas is filled with dread. But Gordon isn’t using the chance to lord over Thomas, he’s actually so amused by Thomas’ mishap and it coming at a time where he’s been significantly humbled, they instead become Comrades and I love it. I eat it up! Paint Pots and Queens isn’t anywhere near as good but I adore the little bit where they’re appealing for the other, equals and watching each other’s back~

But yeah, as Friendly Rivals they both feel very authentic and yet, in a daft way, sweet ;3

Favourite headcanon

He still says “Hurry, hurry, hurry!” when pulling the Express. That’s a HC as I think the show phased it out, but I like it lol. I feel like my essay on him contains most of the headcanon stuff, but it’s all based on what’s shown, baybee!

#this is ttte #TTTE Gordon #ttte talk #Gordon the Big Engine #Thomas the Tank Engine #TTTE Thomas #snuck in a bit in there lol #mentioned Edward a lot as well but not in as much depth #I love me some Blue Engines #TTTE

[johannstutt413]

TOURNAMENT ARC 2: PHANTOM VS PROJEKT RED

“Alright, let’s see...Looks like we’ve got a fight tomorrow, Jessie!” The Doctor unfurled a piece of paper from the machine. “First round for Specialists, it looks like; Phantom vs Red. It’s been awhile since Phantom stopped by the office, hasn’t it?”

“...Phantom?” The Feline shrugged; she’d seen records of that Operator before, but never actually encountered them herself.

He sighed. “Right, stealth specialist with mnemonic Arts. Regardless, it’ll be interesting to see what happens, especially since Red- actually, I haven’t seen her recently either. She hasn’t been on a mission, has she?”

“I don’t think so?” Jessica flipped open a tab and scrolled through some of her notes. “No, but she has been on leave for awhile.”

“Really? What kind of leave was it, again? I think you approved that one.”

At that exact moment, Projekt Red walked into the office with a baby in her arms. “Maternity leave.” [not exactly the same universe but hush it’s fine]

“Awww!” The two immediately approached. “What’s their name?”

“Scarlet SilverAsh. I don’t think I can be in the tournament for a while, Doctor; we haven’t moved her to formula yet.” Scarlet fussed a little, which the Lupo solved by licking her forehead.

The Doctor nodded. “That’s alright, Red; I think I know the person to take your spot. Let us know when you’re ready to fight and we’ll put you in the rotation.”

“Thank you, Doctor. I’ll be watching today’s match from home. You can both come over, if you want; Encio’s making burgers.” She watched both of them blink several times. “What?” 

“He can cook?” Jessica asked.

She nodded. “There’s nothing he can’t do. I need to feed her soon. Let us know if you want to come over.”

“Will do!” Once she’d left, the Feline smiled to herself. “I’m looking forward to that someday.”

“Having a kid with me?”

Jessie set her head on his shoulder. “Yeah...We should call Waai Fu now, before too much press goes out.”

“Good plan.”

TOURNAMENT ARC 2: PHANTOM VS PROJEKT RED WAAI FU

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, Operators, Staff, and Esteemed Guests! Welcome one and all to the Top Operator Tourney!!! *crowd cheers*

“Thanks, Hung! Hiiiii everyone! It’s your lovable idol and Penguin Logistics delivery girl Sora here, filling in for Click on account of some rather inflammatory commentary she gave during the last one. Joining me in the booth, filling in for FEater after she punched the person who told them that, is Croissant!”

“That’s right, Sora, and I ain’t goin’ any’re! Now earlya Baws ‘nounced we had a lil’ bituva skejul shift, but looks like we still ‘ave a real good’un on our ‘ands. On the north side, wi’ 14 years of fightin’ ‘sperience, she’s student by day and brawla’ by nite, WAAAAAAAI FUUUUUUUU!” *cheers* “Ye, dat’s wut I wanna hear! Annnnd on the south side- hey, where’d they go?” *confused crowd noises* “Uh...Now I ain’t gonna lie, I never did meet dis Phantom guy? We sure he works ‘ere?”

“I mean, Medical had enough data to evaluate with, so I guess he does? Aaaanyway, looking at the numbers, it looks like Waai Fu has more combat experience and raw strength, but Phantom’s faster and trickier to deal with, so hopefully he shows up long enough for us to watch him work!”

“Ye, let’s ‘ope so! Baws itn’t at the podium today, but Amiya’s down there doin’ the hands, so let’s ‘ear it! 3! 2! 1! LET’S RUUUUUUUUUUUMBLLLLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!”

--------

Down on the ground, as the commentators blathered away, psyching the crowd up, Phantom watched his target from the shadows, blades ready but simply observing. His opponent, an orange Feline he’d never seen before, likewise watched, patient. This wasn’t his usual style...but if it was a show they wanted, then he’d give them a show.

“So you are my opponent.” He took a step forward. “Shall we dance our dance for the masses?”

“The Phantom, in the flesh...I expected to face you later in the bracket, but this works, too.”

His eyes narrowed. “You recognize me?”

“I’ve spent my life clearing the street of scum like you, who skulk in the shadows and take others’ lives for your sick games.” She took a defensive stance. “Your ring of thieves deserved its fate-”

“Do not speak ill of the dead, lest you join them sooner than you expect.” A step backward, and he’d vanished.

Two Phantoms emerged from her shadow, blades drawn to strike as they flanked her, only to find she was ready for both attacks; Waai Fu evaded their swords as knocked both Phantom and his mirror image to the ground. “Repent while you still have time.”

And then everything was a blur.

-------

“It’s like it started out of nowhere! They stared each other down forever, and then BAM! Also, why are there two of him?!”

“I ‘unno, darlin’, but I ‘ope Junior ain’t watch’n this! They’re go’n at it ‘arder ‘n an’thin rite now! I can’t even count ‘ow many blows they’re tradin’, but not a single drop of blood on the ground yet!”

“You can tell Waai Fu’s struggling, though - two on one isn’t a fair fight for anyone, but she’s holding her ground someh- OH, what?!”

“Oh! Oh! That’s the Seven-Styles Kick!! ‘Oly shit, I ain’t ever seen it in person bef’r, but damn that was some’n! And one of ‘em’s gone now!”

“Things have slowed down, and she is absolutely whaling into him! Punch, punch, kick, kick; he’s doing his best to evade them, but I don’t think he can keep up like this for long! Especially since he can’t- never mind, he managed to slash her once, at least, but that just left him open for a solid haymaker! He’s not getting back u/p! 1! 2!! 3!!! SHE’S DONE IT!!!”

“Wowza...Not as bloody as last ‘un, ey darlin’?”

“Waai Fu’s getting medical attention, as is Phantom from the looks...Hey, wait a minute, honey, did you see that?”

“See what?”

--------

Aak was there at Waai Fu’s side, local anesthetic applied and staple gun going to work. “A bit of medi-gel will get this patched up in no time...Hey, who was that guy, anyway? Never seen him around before.”

“The Phantom Behind the Curtain, Treasurer of the Night. He was the leading man for a theatre troupe known for less-than-savory wetwork who traveled the world as a closely-knit ring of assassins, although many didn’t realize their actual business until the day it collapsed.” The Feline sighed. “That one killed a crowded theatre with his voice alone. He didn’t want me dead, not enough to speak to me with his true voice.”

“Truer words, vigilante, have yet to be spoken” a spectral figure whispered in her ear, disappearing before she could identify them.

The other Feline next to her cocked her head. “See something? Mighta gotten some hallucinogens in the anesthetic again.”

“No, it’s...nothing.” She shook her head. “It’ll pass, whatever it was.”

“You’d best win the tournament now, child...For your father’s sake.” From the other ear this time, as if standing in Aak’s place.

On the ground, as Warfarin ensured Gaspard began his recovery, a black cat stepped out of the shadows and, once the Sarkaz was done with the greater part of patching him up, sat on his chest, gently pawing at his face. A slight smile came to his face as he and his Christine were taken to Medical for full evaluation; he might have been defeated in this battle, but the war for himself was far from lost.

#arknights #arknights fic #TOURNAMENT ARC!!! #waai fu (arknights) #phantom (arknights) #projekt red (arknights) #jessica (arknights) #sora (arknights) #croissant (arknights) #i'm not gonna lie #i'm surprised no one's asked about Phantom yet #like i know i have a pretty sizable crowd of folks who like yuri fic #but...i 'unno #we'll get to him one of these days

[janiedean]

I've seen some people say that after Theon gets captured and tortured by Ramsay he starts to "romanticize" his relationship with Robb so he can cling to something good, even though Robb was never that affectionate or understanding with Theon. Thoughts?

.... is this a new development I missed when I was away?

anyway, tldr: 100% complete bullshit.

long answer: I don’t have the hassle to look for quotes so please let me quote myself from a meta I wrote in the dawn of times when s2 was airing which was about how you can see in the text that robb REALLY loved theon forreal, I’ll just quote you the relevant parts but if you wanna read the entire thing the link’s there:

Point in case the first: regardless of what some people who don’t pay attention to this plot line think, Theon *did* actually care about Robb a whole damn lot and the fact that he sided with his dad was more of personal betrayal of *Robb* rather than the whole betraying the Starks thing - which doesn’t make any sense whatsoever since he owed them as a family exactly zilch. Point the second: Robb *did* actually care about Theon equally. Point the third, and that’s what I would actually like to talk about since it’s a side I rarely see discussed: while we all see/get Theon’s side of things aka ‘Robb was the only person who ever cared about him for real during his entire stay at Winterfell and arguably the only one who ever cared about him openly except his mother until that point pretty much’, there’s also Robb’s side of things, which is where I want to blather about under the read more: everyone - seriously, *everyone* - got on his case about it. Meaning: Robb is the exception to the whole 'don’t get attached to him in case his dad fucks up’ deal, but if you look at it from his POV, he really must have liked Theon a lot, because it’s not just that he’s the only one, it’s that if you pay attention everyone frowns upon it or thinks he’s being a complete idiot to actually trust Theon for real. And it’s arguably something that must have happened for the entire time Theon was at Winterfell.

+

Never mind that this is what Theon had to say about his general treatment (and the *gentling* I suppose):

Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who’d brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home. As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark’s stern face and great dark sword. His wife was, if anything, even more distant and suspicious.

and

As if ten years in Winterfell could make a Stark. Lord Eddard had raised him among his own children, but Theon had never been one of them. The whole castle, from Lady Stark to the lowliest kitchen scullion, knew he was hostage to his father’s good behavior, and treated him accordingly. Even the bastard Jon Snow had been accorded more honor than he had.

What a party. Except that he always says that Robb is like a brother, that he had affection for him, that as far as he cares he can rule the Riverlands while he rules Winterfell (… okay Theon okay *facepalms*) until he actually thinks he should have died with him. Never mind that Robb actually knew how shit worked in the Iron Islands so it means they actually talked about it and so on. Thing is: Robb kept on with it for ten years and never faltered once in thinking his judgment was sound until he thought that Theon had killed his brothers (which didn’t happen anyway) when everyone and their relatives gave him shit for it. If Maester Luwin told Bran *that* thing above, he probably has told Robb as well, and most probably he had been discouraged from it more than once, and he still kept on not caring.

^^^ now THAT above is from acok, not adwd. if theon’s thinking he has a CERTAIN AFFECTION for robb in acok, then he’s not romanticizing shit. anyway, going ahead, I was analyzing the woods scene which EVERYONE likes to quote as the reason why robb doesn’t REALLY like theon, I’m skipping on the first half but the point I wanted to make was:

Bran openly dislikes Theon and doesn’t get why Robb likes to hang out with him, when discussing serious matters he tells Robb as straight as it gets without actually putting it in blunt terms that he’s an idiot for wanting to listen to Theon and call the banners, when Theon says that there’s a chance Ned could die he gets screamed at even if Theon’s nineteen and Bran is eight, and tbh he hadn’t even been saying it mockingly - now, I get that if you’re eight you’re going to react like that, but the guy also didn’t tell you anything that Robb hadn’t been trying to say was a chance earlier - and when Theon tries to make his point (albeit not too nicely but that’s him for you) Bran is like ‘well my parents listened to the person you don’t care for so you’re obviously wrong’ and Robb has to actually *insist* and justify himself because he takes everyone’s opinion - Theon’s included - into account. Now, if Jon had been there instead of Theon and he had said to call the banners, would that have gotten that reaction and most of all, would Robb have had to freaking justify himself to his eight year old brother for listening to someone older than him for that matter? I kinda doubt it. But like, if you have to justify yourself to, repeating again, your *eight-year old brother* when you’re a) his eldest, b) his lord, c) in charge as far as everyone is concerned, how much do you think he’s done that already? Robb also seems pretty tired overall, and who’d blame him - that’s not even the first or last time in the books he justifies himself for liking Theon.

(Theon’s take about it to his dad:

“ He heeds me, yes. I ’ve hunted with him, trained with him, shared meat and mead with him, warred at his side. I have earned his trust. He looks on me as an older brother, he -”

speaks for itself I think.)

Anyway, five pages later some wildlings kidnap Bran and they threaten to kill him if anyone moves, and the situation is solved when Theon fires an arrow at the one holding him thus enabling everyone to take action and also saving Bran’s life. And what happens? Robb lashes out at him because if anything got wrong in there Bran could have died. My very humble opinion is that he took it out on Theon because he was worked up already and he felt like he had to show to everyone that he actually didn’t forget that Theon was supposed to not be his bff, but that’s where things go pear-shaped. Theon’s opinion of that drama:

[Dagmer] gave me more smiles than my father and Eddard Stark together. Even Robb… he ought to have won a smile the day he’d saved Bran from that wildling, but instead he’d gotten a scolding, as if he were some cook who’d burned the stew.

Like. Theon is legitimately fucking hurt about that and he *still* is hung-up about it A WHOLE FUCKING LOT after it happened. It’s probably been at least some months in between then and him thinking *that*, and he’s still hurt about it - talk about the depth of psychological damage going on here if *that* was something he couldn’t bring himself to forget, but let’s go on. Theon didn’t expect it from *him*. Like, even Robb, as if Robb was the only person he didn’t want that treatment from.

Except, let’s go a moment to that lovely exchange Robb and Cat have in ACOK when she tells him he shouldn’t send Theon to the Iron Islands:

“Theon’s fought bravely for us. I told you how he saved Bran from those wildlings in the wolfswood. If the Lannisters won’t make peace, I’ll have need of Lord Greyjoy’s longships.” “You’ll have them sooner if you keep his son as hostage.” “He’s been a hostage half his life.” “For good reason,” Catelyn said. “Balon Greyjoy is not a man to be trusted. He wore a crown himself, remember, if only for a season. He may aspire to wear one again.” Robb stood. “I will not grudge him that. If I’m King in the North, let him be King of the Iron Islands, if that’s his desire. I’ll give him a crown gladly, so long as he helps us bring down the Lannisters.” “Robb-” “I’m sending Theon. Good day, Mother. Grey Wind, come.” Robb walked off briskly, the direwolf padding beside him.

Now, I’m 100% sure that Robb never *told* Theon that because otherwise Theon wouldn’t have been thinking Robb just scolded him for that, which - seriously Robb WHY WOULDN’T YOU *facepalms again* -, but let’s just look at it for a minute. Robb tells Cat that Theon is trustworthy because he saved Bran’s life, so he *does* know that he was unfair to him, and he does consider it the way Theon hoped he would have. Never mind that he’s also the only one who points out that maybe the guy is tired of being a hostage and that he gets how bad it i s. Never mind also that this conversation is all kind of heartbreakingly ironic because Robb is right about Theon wanting the best for the both of them and Cat is right about it being a bad idea because it backfires, but at the same time Cat was 100% wrong about Balon giving them a fleet if he kept Theon hostage (he didn’t give a shit) and Robb was wrong about sending *Theon* there because of course it’d have ended up badly if Balon didn’t accept the plan. But anyway, if you look at it, Robb, who does love his mother *and* keeps her counsel in high regard *and* wouldn’t disrespect her ever, pretty much cuts Cat short as if he’s just fucking entirely done with this conversation and doesn’t want to hear about that anymore. Why? Most probably because he’s just the umpteenth time when he trusts Theon to do something and someone else (anyone) tells him it’s a bad idea without a) knowing Theon, b) knowing the reasons why Robb trusts him, c) even entertaining for a moment the notion that Robb might be right. Never mind that this entire deal is 100% more tragic because Theon ends up betraying Robb and takes the whole Bran incident into account when it was actually one of the reasons why Robb was so sure he was trustworthy on top of having known him for ten years.

+

And regardless of all the above, he does send Theon after all even if he probably was the only one thinking it was a good idea. This idiot liked Theon so much that not only he was so close with him that he was more of a brother to him than any son born of Balon’s loins, but he also was so in spite of the fact that he probably spent most of his life (actually he’s known Theon for ten years and he was five when they met so do the maths, it’s 2/3rds of someone’s life) being told that he shouldn’t. Even from his own actual brothers/mother for that matter. Like good fucking grief Theon thinks he got it all wrong and he should have died with him because that’s how much Robb mattered, and about that, I highly doubt that Theon was the one making friends first considering what he has to say about everyone else in WF. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that Robb never let his judgment waver until the WF mess (and even after then he didn’t want Theon to be tortured) even if he was discouraged from keeping Theon in high regard constantly, as if he should have no reason to do it just because everyone else judged him on the basis of his family name first? I feel like this is a thing that gets overlooked a lot, and while obviously Robb never had the same issues as Theon and surely he had an easier life I just think it’s really important to their relationship that he kept on getting shit for it and he still never really cared. And it also speaks volumes that when Theon has actually, y'know, found himself again in ADWD it kind of happens when he realizes he should have been with Robb, he doesn’t say something like 'I wish we could have talked it out’ or 'I wish I hadn’t taken WF’ or anything of the kind. He thinks that he should have  died at the fucking Red Wedding aka died of the worst death you could come up with because that was where he was supposed to be. But no, let’s assume that he betrayed him just because he thought he could and it was no big deal or that Robb had it easy when he was like a brother to him instead - uhm, NOPE.

what I’m fishing at here is that saying theon romanticizes robb’s rship with him is highly in contrast with anything the text suggests on that point because actually robb’s relationship with him is the one constant he has that ties him to his previous life (he says robb’s name more than his own in his first three adwd chapters but X°DDD) and guess what it never happens with asha or his mom or anyone else. he puts two and two together about what he has done wrong and where he should have been THINKING ABOUT ROBB, and guess what realizing that he should have been with him is what unblocks him and pushes him to do better and save jeyne. and again, wanting to die at the red wedding is not romanticizing anything because no one with half a brain would want to die at the red wedding since it’s not... a quick or painless of short death. like, it’s DYING IN A MASSACRE NO ONE WANTS THAT XDDD also if you read bran’s povs he complains about all the time robb spends with theon every other moment and jon does go like ‘meh why does robb even like him’ and so on, and catelyn is like ROBB YOUR FRIENDSHIP CHOICES ARE TERRIBLE and nvm ned. like. also:

"So long as Theon Greyjoy sits in your father's seat with your brothers' blood on his hands, these other foes must wait," Catelyn told her son. "Your first duty is to defend your own people, win back Winterfell, and hang Theon in a crow's cage to die slowly. Or else put off that crown for good, Robb, for men will know that you are no true king at all." From the way Robb looked at her, she could tell that it had been a long while since anyone had dared speak to him so bluntly. "When they told me Winterfell had fallen, I wanted to go north at once," he said, with a hint of defensiveness. "I wanted to free Bran and Rickon, but I thought . . . I never dreamed that Theon could harm them, truly. If I had . . .""It is too late for ifs, and too late for rescues," Catelyn said. "All that remains is vengeance."

"I cannot speak to that. There is much confusion in any war. Many false reports. All I can tell you is that my nephews claim it was this bastard son of Bolton's who saved the women of Winterfell, and the little ones. They are safe at the Dreadfort now, all those who remain.""Theon," Robb said suddenly. "What happened to Theon Greyjoy? Was he slain?"Lame Lothar spread his hands. "That I cannot say, Your Grace. Walder and Walder made no mention of his fate. Perhaps Lord Bolton might know, if he has had word from this son of his."

This is a cold man, Catelyn realized, not for the first time."Did Ramsay mention Theon Greyjoy?" Robb demanded. "Was he slain as well, or did he flee?"Roose Bolton removed a ragged strip of leather from the pouch at his belt. "My son sent this with his letter."

Part of Catelyn wanted to clutch the grisly trophy to her heart, but she made herself resist. "Put it away. Please.""Flaying Theon will not bring my brothers back," Robb said. "I want his head, not his skin.""He is Balon Greyjoy's only living son," Lord Bolton said softly, as if they had forgotten, "and now rightful King of the Iron Islands. A captive king has great value as a hostage."

I mean. guys. IT’S TEXTUAL. if your bff conquers your castle and you don’t immediately go take it back because YOU WOULDN’T DREAM HE’D HARM YOUR SIBLINGS (and you’re actually right but nvm) then you really did trust that person or do trust them still. so: there’s no single shred of text that robb actually didn’t care about theon or didn’t love him actually all the contrary, thanks for coming to my ted talk XD

#throbb #theon greyjoy #robb stark #janie writes meta #what is this fresh fuckery now #Anonymous #ask post

[therake-1996-blog]

Revelation Ch. 13

Chapter 13- The Hunt

A few days after their fight, Aveline approaches me and taps my knee.

“Yes, dove?”

“Mommy, I’m thirsty.”

Now, when Aveline says this, it could mean one of two things: one, she’s thirsty for human beverages such as water or juice, or two, her vampiric instincts are leading her to thirst for the classic vampire drink of blood. I squat down to her.

“For juice or blood?” Her eyes flash.

“Blood.”

Zyglavis’ head pops up from his papers, and he lifts a hand to his own throat.

“I think it is getting to be that time…” He murmurs to himself.

“Wait,” Leon says, frowning deeply. “What exactly does Avey…hunt?”

“Things like elk and deer,” I reply as I scoop my daughter into my arms.

“What do you hunt?”

I give him a look.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes. Or else I wouldn’t have asked.”

“What if I told you we hunt lions?” Zyglavis says through clenched teeth.

“Zyglavis,” I say, my voice low. Turning my attention back to Leon, I say, “I prefer bears myself. But I also feed from elk and the occasional mountain lion.”

“And she’s with you when you’re hunting such dangerous creatures?”

“Leon, don’t worry about it,” I say softly. “Aveline stays up in the trees when I’m hunting. There’s no way I’d let anything get near her.”

“Mommy protects me, Leo.” Aveline adds with a smile as she leans her head on my shoulder.

Leon’s expression is conflicted for a moment before he says,

“Take me with you.”

“Absolutely not.” Zyglavis says.

“Why not?” Leon shoots back. “And don’t say it’s because you don’t like me.”

“I wish it was because I don’t like you,” He snaps. “It’s because if Aveline or myself catches your scent, you’re as good as…ahem.” Zyglavis stops himself before he finishes his thought and clears his throat, then continues softly, “If either of us catches your scent while hunting, it won’t end well. That’s why.”

“Zyglavis is right,” I chime in. “He doesn’t even hunt with Aveline and I. He goes off on his own because he’s worried he may catch her scent. You’re a full-blooded god, Leon, and while I am old and disciplined, Aveline and Zyglavis are young. They’re still learning to control their instincts.”

Still, Leon frowns, his amber eyes narrowed in distress.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” He murmurs, almost to himself.

“Are you saying we can’t protect our child?” Zyglavis growls.

“That’s not what I’m saying!” Leon snaps. “I’m just saying that…something feels wrong.”

“Leon, everything will be fine,” I assure him. “We’ve taken Aveline hunting how many times in the last two and a half years? It will be no different this time than any of those.”

He looks at me for a moment, then his eyes flicker to Aveline, who is watching him with her head against my shoulder. She smiles at him.

He pulls himself to his feet.

“Avey, if something happens, now or any other time, I want you to use this,” He snaps his fingers and an auburn colored necklace that matches his own appears in his hand. He wraps it around her neck and latches it into place, then pokes his index finger on it. “Cup it in both of your hands and wish for me. I’ll come as fast as I can.”

Aveline smiles at him.

“Thank you, Leo!”

He returns her smile, then smooths her hair down, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Zyglavis claps a firm hand on his shoulder, looking displeased.

“Let’s go.”

…

Our hunting grounds tonight are in the deep forests near Connacht, Ireland. Zyglavis went off on his own shortly after we arrived, and Aveline and I stroll lazily through the thick mossy path. I watch her as she jumps nimbly to avoid vines and fallen trees.

“Aveline, are you hunting or are you playing?” I ask. She giggles.

“Both.” I get the feeling that vampires and humans have this particular problem in common with their children

“The necklace Leon gave me matches his, mommy, did you notice?”

“I did, dove. Do you like it?”

“It came from Leo. I’d like anything that came from him,” Aveline loops her arms behind her back and continues walking, slowing her pace so we’re walking side by side.

“Mommy, why doesn’t daddy like Leo?”

I take a breath. I knew this question would come up sooner or later, I just hoped it’d be the latter rather than the former.

“Well, I’m not sure, my love. I think they’re just the opposite of each other, and sometimes opposites repel each other…but I know they care about each other the same way everyone else does. Daddy is very hard working and rigid and Leon is laid back and relaxed, and maybe that is what makes them not get along so well. Daddy just wants to protect you. He has a hard time accepting that Leon loves you because Leon is an adult.”

“But you and daddy love me, too.”

“I know, dove. He’ll come around, don’t worry.”

“I hope so. Because Leon is going to be around for a long time.” She says this matter-of-factly and nods her head firmly.

“Can you sense that with your gift?” I ask her.

“Yes, mommy. It feels fuzzy, but I can sense relationships along with a person’s character. It’s blurry, but I can at least see Leon. I’m trying to get you and daddy, but it’s hard.”

“Don’t push yourself, dove. You have a long time to practice.”

“I know. But I wanna get better now!” I chuckle. How tenacious.

“Aveline, are you thirsty?”

“Oh! Yes, mommy, I am!”

“Then let’s hunt, shall we?”

…

I watch Aveline stalk an elk, her short body hidden in the tall grass. She’s silent, calculating, crouched with her eyes fixed at the blissfully unaware prey only a few short feet from her. And then she strikes.

When she hunts, Aveline’s body moves like a lion’s, long, graceful yet aggressive movements. Sinuous. Fluid. She jumps on the elk’s thick neck and bites down before it can even register that she’s on it, and it lets out a cry, jumping and bucking around. Aveline doesn’t move.

I hear the rush of blood slurp around in her little mouth as she drinks greedily, sucking the lifeforce from the large beast in mere seconds. When it falls, done, she pulls away and lets out a cry of victory, throwing her hands up into the air, her high voice echoing into the night. I giggle.

“Was that fun?” I ask her.

“So fun, mommy! I like hunting!”

“Are you still thirsty?” She shakes her head, her chocolate curls swirling around her shoulders. Her skin begins to glow as the blood soaks into her body.

“That was a big elk. I feel sloshy.”

“Hm. Come here then, dove.”

Aveline jumps from the dead animal and darts into my waiting arms, hugging me affectionately.

“Let me show you somewhere neat I found a long time ago.”

“Where’s that?”

“You’ll see.”

We walk through the forest, ducking under low hanging branches and swerving past thorn bushes, stepping over logs and roots.

“Mommy, how long have you been alive?”

“Hmm. I’m not alive, Aveline. But I’ve been around for well over six hundred years.”

“Six hundred?” She repeats in awe. “And daddy?”

“Oh, daddy’s been around much, much longer than me. Daddy is over a thousand years old. Can you believe that?”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Fate has a funny way of guiding people together,”

“What do you mean?” I smile down at my innocent-faced daughter as I walk with her in my arms.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older. What I can tell you now is that, because of our struggles, we got to meet…and we got to have you. And you are the best thing to happen to us.”

After I say these words, the trees break, and a large clearing comes into view. In its center is a large boulder, unchanged from when I’d found it centuries earlier. There are dozens of species of wildflowers, bending and swaying with the nighttime breeze, and somewhere in the distance, and owl hoos. Aveline gasps.

“Wow, mommy!”

She jumps from my arms and dashes all around the clearing, looking at the flowers, staring at the boulder, throwing her eyes to the sky…

I stroll around the clearing myself, tucking my arms around my torso. It really doesn’t seem all that long ago that I found this little clearing, my reprieve, this area I could call my own. It felt like Z could never follow me here, like I could just stay forever and never be found.

I never believed that good could come out of bad, but the last two years have certainly changed that. I glance down at the promise ring glinting ethereally on my finger.

“Look, mommy! I can see Lyra!”

Aveline, who had crawled on top of a massive boulder, exclaims, pointing up toward the night sky. I giggle, and bound up beside her, settling on my knees next to her.

“Yeah, there it is,” I reply as I gaze at the twinkling constellation her grandmother rules. “Let’s see if we can find your father’s constellation.”

We sit on the boulder for a while, giggling and talking about the stars as we try to find Libra, even though I’m not really sure if it can be found in September.

“Do you think I’ll get a constellation one day, mommy?” Aveline asks. She comes to sit on my lap and gazes lovingly at the stars above.

“I don’t know, my love,” I reply. “Maybe. Daddy says he can see stars in your eyes, after all.”

She turns her head and looks at me, the waxing gibbous catching her grey irises.

“Can you see stars, mommy?”

“Hm…”

I squint my eyes and look deep into Aveline’s eyes, trying to see if I can find stars in them. Her eyes twinkle and sparkle, light dancing around inside them. I smile.

“I sure can, my love.”

Aveline squeals in delight, smiling widely and bouncing around in my lap.

“Yay! I hope I can have my own constellation one day! I’ll wish every single day! Leon will have to grant it!” I chuckle.

“Do you have a crush on Leon?” I ask her. She shrugs nonchalantly.

“He’s the leader of Wishes, mommy. If he grants my wish, I’ll be all set. Duh.”

I snort.

I wonder where, oh where, she gets her attitude from.

The wind shifts, moving from the south to north, and with it, comes a scent. Not just any scent. It’s a scent I know all too well, even after all these years, one that makes my skin crawl and my instincts for self-preservation kick into overdrive. I throw a frantic glance over my shoulder, my eyes darting all around the perimeter of the clearing. It’s dead quiet. Not a sound uttered by anything. No owls, no crickets, no squirrels…nothing.

“Aveline,” I whisper, gathering her tiny body up and jumping from the boulder.

“What, mommy?” She sounds confused, her ringing soprano loud. I shoosh her.

“Be very quiet. I need you to go back to daddy.”

She senses my urgency, my unease, and frowns, looking around frantically.

“Why, mommy? What’s wrong?”

“Just listen to me, baby,”

I reach my hands out and stroke my daughter’s perfect face, a carbon copy of Zyglavis’, just with wider eyes, engraving it forever into my mind. Her eyes shimmer as she catches on to my emotions, and her little eyebrows scrunch.

“You’re coming back…right, mommy?” She gasps, her voice just a whisper. I manage to force a smile.

“Of course, my love. Now go. Go back to your father. Now.”

Aveline sniffles and jumps up to kiss my cheek before obeying, darting off into the trees, away from me.

Possibly for eternity.

I straighten my body out and wait, my back exposed to the danger behind me.

Not thirty seconds after I can no longer sense my sweet little girl’s presence, he appears. I slowly turn my head, looking over my shoulder. Our eyes meet.

Dark violet glimmers in the direct light of the moon, his hair, falling to his midback, so black that it shines blue. My body screams at me to run, like I had so many times before, but I keep myself frozen, my feet firmly planted in their place.

My creator.

Z.

#zyglavis #star crossed myth #star crossed myth fan fiction #fanfic #otome game #voltage inc #voltage fanfic #scm #scm fanfic #scm zyglavis

[familyofpebbles]

September 10th, 2021

If I’ve learned anything the past couple years, it’s that when I’m repeatedly not accomplishing something that I want to, it’s best to change the strategy instead of trying to force myself into a method that just isn’t working for me. I’ve often struggled with not being able to just FORCE myself to do things- it’s just a matter of willpower and discipline is it not?? So I spent years spinning my wheels on a lot of things. It’s not a waste of time to try out a new strategy, multiple new strategies, if you’re not making progress anyways. It’s an investment. Once you find something you can stick to, suddenly you’re moving again! And with much less agonizing over it!

This applies to smaller things like this blog, too. We’ve lived together, what, three years? Nearly four? And have not managed to write any of it down (except for the last two a month or two ago.) So, instead of writing in such detail, or alternating going through a trip day by day, or writing you romantic letters (I can just tell you in person now!) I’m gonna just try to write once a month. And I’m gonna write about what I want. I’ll try to cover some missed time, but I’m not gonna stress about it too hard. I’m going to try to remind you to write something once a month too. Long or short, detailed or not, doesn’t matter. What matters is that we have SOMETHING. I value the book I made out of our last blog so much. I’m SO thankful we have a record of the beginning of our relationship, messy bits and all. I want that for the rest of our life too, it’s just so good. And I like the idea that one day a grandchild, or someone even further down the lineage (hello, you!) will be interested in what their ancestors lives were like. I wish I had something like this from mine. I hope these books of ours survive that long. It’s like part of us is still living if our story is being told.

-

Well, gosh. Where do I start now? That’s the problem with leaving off for so long.

We live in Germany, as I’m sure the reader has been able to gather. (Who am I writing to? You still, Robert? Or is this a letter to whoever picks this book up? I don’t know and I probably won’t be consistent about it. You’ll just have to keep up I suppose!)

We live in Germany. You’re stationed here- chose Hohenfels because it’s a chill unit that doesn’t deploy. You still got your EIB while here though! Super proud of you for that. You worked so hard, I don’t think you left work mode at all the entire time, it’s all you thought about. And you did it!

I work at a bank now. Again. It’s not bad, but I don’t like the manager. I won’t waste effort talking about him, but trust me, I have stories. Thankfully we’re about to get a new one. I also met one of my new best friends there. Her name is Jordan, and I’m soooo thankful to have found someone here I really vibe with.  It is a tragedy of military life that we will move away from each other sooner rather than later. But it is a perk of military life to have the opportunity to meet people from all over that you never would have otherwise. And it’s a perk of living in this era of easy communication to not have to lose touch.

We love Germany. Like really love it. Like wish we could stay forever love it.

When we got here we arrived late, in the dark. We drove up to a building in the middle of this colorful little gingerbread fairytale town and were told that this was our hotel that we’d be staying in until we had a place of our own. We couldn’t believe it was real.

I can’t imagine a more perfect welcome to Germany. Those first couple months were blissful. We were in a beautiful hotel on the main street of the small town of Velburg- our room sitting on top of the café with homemade pastries, tea, and beer. The beer! It’s as good as they say, truly. Which means a lot, coming from me. Each building was a different color and covered in flowers and vines. Everyone had a beautiful garden. The church at the head of the road rang it’s bells hourly, and our street smelled of wood smoke and fresh bread from the bakery directly across from us. The weather was stunning- bright blue skies and warm sun and a cool September breeze. The food was the best we had ever tasted. The sheep up the road always ran up to us to be loved on. And there were beautiful castle ruins on the hill right above us. The tower has been restored, and we hiked up to it regularly to look out over the countryside. Germany really greeted us with the warmest of hugs.

Now we live in a town called Hohenburg. It’s not as lively, having been cut off from much of the surrounding towns and roads by the base. The buildings on the main street are still bright, but they’re mostly empty, and many of them sag backwards a bit. But I still find it charming. It’s quiet, and feels safe, and there’s a lovely walking path Livvy and I use all the time. And we have our own ruins too! Less intact, but it’s always magical rounding the bend on the way home and looking at our pretty little town with it’s castle overlooking it. Like a fairytale. It’s beautiful around here, year round. My favorite time is early mornings in spring, with everything green and blooming and a cozy fog slowly dissipating in the golden light. I always stop to move snails out of the road. I love it here so much.

-

Ah, you just got home. That makes it harder to write. You’ve been on rotation so have been gone a lot, and have most of today off. If you just wanna play video games, I’ll keep writing, but if not I’ll come back to this tomorrow. Maybe I’ll write more than just once this month. I’m enjoying it.

-

It’s tomorrow! We ended up talking and having a glass of wine and making dinner. My favorite kind of evening with you. I’m so thankful we’re together. The novelty hasn’t worn off.

-

You bought me an electric piano for our anniversary last year. Best gift ever! I really need to set aside more time to play it… I’ve just recently started trying to set aside 30 minutes before going to bed to either read or play piano, but it’s hard to stick to when there’s just oooone mooore thing I could get done. But I think it’s important to try and prioritize that kind of intentional relaxation. I’m trying to learn Gymonopedie no. 1. It’s not actually as technically hard as I thought, the hard part is memorization. It would help a ton if I could read music but… I don’t wanna learn. Maybe eventually.

-

Regensburg was the first city we went to here. We took the train and watched all the storybook towns roll by. Perfect choice. It’s a beautiful place, exactly what you would think of if called on to imagine a classic European city. St. Peter’s was the first cathedral we saw, towering and imposing and intricately carved, impressive in its shadowy heights. But my favorite, forever favorite, was St. Emmeram’s. The beauty touched me in an unexpected way. I’m just going to copy/paste what I wrote about it from Instagram because I put it exactly the way I wanted to then:

“There are conversations to be had about the greed of organized religion throughout history- gold leaf and marble and soaring ceilings while the impoverished of the congregation struggle. Not exactly Christ-like. Not exactly Christian.⁣ ⁣ But I must admit, these are not conversations I wanted to have inside this building.⁣ ⁣ There is something in the human soul that is nourished by beauty. And this was, for lack of a better word, heavenly. I could feel the centuries of people seeking out this space for comfort, inspiration, hope. Maybe on their darkest days, desperately looking for something better, higher. I can understand that. ⁣ ⁣ The way the light cascaded from the windows, illuminating each sculpted figure on the opposite wall at sunset. Serene faces gazing benevolently down upon you. Perfect acoustics for the angelic music to envelop and sooth you. Something is larger than you and your problems, there is more to life than this.⁣ ⁣ It brought tears to my eyes.”

Also- we had the best pasta of our lives in that city. Seriously, every other pasta I ever eat will be compared to that one. Goddamn.

-

Covid limited our travel ability significantly for about a year, which was a bummer. I suppose it would be interesting in historical terms to get into our experience and feelings about that but… not so fun to write. And honestly, we were lucky. It didn’t affect us all that much. We couldn’t travel, couldn’t hang out with groups, and had to wear masks everywhere (still do on that one). It was hard to get used to but once we did… well that’s just how it was. We were still working. We didn’t get sick, no family or close friends got sick, so were alright. And we got vaccinated fairly early on. So we were lucky. Anyway. The POINT is that we haven’t been able to go to as many countries as we would have liked to. But we managed to see a lot in Germany, and we’re beginning to cross borders again this year, which is exciting.

It’s so easy to see amazing things here. You don’t have to go very far at all to see something beautiful or ancient or both. We’ve seen countless castles, ruined and restored. We’ve gone to the oldest monastic brewery in the world and sampled the beer and liquor. We visited Munich and toured the palace and drank and the massive beer hall. We’ve toured museums and gotten tattoos and tried all the limited vegetarian options Germany has to offer. We hiked up to a castle on my birthday so you could take pictures of me in a fancy dress through the fog. We’ve gone on many walks and taken a cable car up to the highest mountain in Germany… it was cloudy but still impressive. We got to experience Christmas markets our first year here, which I absolutely adore and I really hope they come back soon. We go out to dinner with friends, have big beers or ouzo shots with a feast. We have parties and host D&D nights and sometimes go to a lake. We’ve built a little community here like we didn’t bother to do in North Carolina. You got another promotion, I’m planning our wedding (we postponed again). We’re happy. Really happy.

We joke about how everyone says the first year is the hardest, oh wait no, the second year is when reality really sets in… oh well just wait til you have kids!! But it’s so easy. It’s so easy to live with you and love you. Every night is a slumber party still. I’m still happiest when you’re around. You’re still my very best friend. Nothing tops just talking to you.

I suppose our circumstances help, hard to be unhappy with these kind of surroundings! But then again, people are. We see it all the time. Doesn’t matter where you live when your relationship sucks. I’m thankful for you. Everything turned out so well for us, its wild.

-

There are so many trips to write about! It’s a bit overwhelming. I feel like I’ve given us a pretty good start though, so perhaps that’s a next time kind of thing. I’m excited to see what you start us off here with.