#i always am like oh other people say they write for therapy but I just don't know what that's like bc I never do that lol

[satoruxx]

sorry to go feral in your inbox but ghostface!miguel who is crazy about you (in a good way I promise) and does everything in his power to protect you and keep those horrible college guys from your classes away from you but you only know him as the mysterious gravelly voice who calls you every night that you’ve grown fond of as your personal lullaby-

pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader | 1.5k words summary: ghostface!miguel, stalking, possessive miguel, violence, death, killing, obsessive behavior, suggestive, killer miguel ofc, reader is WAY too trusting, miggy just loves you so much !! rheya’s note: NONNIE BABES YOU GENIUS !! he absolutely would oh my fucking god. i am so normal about this (going feral) i was literally squealing while writing this it was rough. why is this concept hot? do i need therapy? probably. anyways he's a creep in this but in a good way? (the way this ask literally got me inspired to draw ghostface!miguel UGH) anyways ENJOY !!

miguel isn't a bad guy. he's not. he's one of the good guys actually, a hero. he's always been a hero.

it's not his fault that there are some assholes in the world that are fucked up, preying on innocent people who just want to live their lives.

sweet, innocent people like you.

how a girl as sweet and precious as you managed to get yourself surrounded by such horrible people is beyond him. and you're so nice too, always assuming that nobody has it out for you or that everyone has some good in them. with that mindset, you were just asking to be put in danger.

so, being the hero that he is, it's his obligation to look out for you, right?

it starts off quietly. he doesn't make an effort to connect with you, choosing to watch you from the shadows as he silently tracks your day. miguel is nothing if not observant, mentally noting every single person you interact with or looks your way. and if they get a little too close, a little too comfortable? well, then he'd just have to take care of that for you, wouldn't he?

he hates that one flirty coworker of yours, always leaning a little too close to you and chatting like he's your fucking boyfriend. miguel can see the little crease of discomfort in your brows whenever that coworker is nearby, and he decides that he hates that expression on you. but you feel fine afterwards, because when your coworker goes missing the next day, you send a quick thank you to the heavens, trying to push down your guilt.

he finds out that you try to make some extra money by tutoring a guy at your school. and when miguel watches the two of you through the windows of the library he feels hatred like no other run through his veins because he doesn't like how this guy looks at you. that asshole probably didn't even need tutoring to begin with, using it as a pathetic excuse to get close to you. what a fucking joke. but you don't have to stress about tutoring anymore because the next day you get a text saying the kid has transferred schools. you never hear from him again.

oh but the worst ones are the ones who ask you out on dates. they don't even know how lucky they are, getting to see you all dolled up and pretty for them, only to absolutely destroy your hopes for a good time. it makes miguel so angry he sees red. every fucking time one of those losers makes a comment that has your shoulders slumping with disappointment, a miserable frown on your pretty lips by the end of the night, he feels sick to his stomach. but he hopes that when you see your date's body on the news the next morning, you won't be so disappointed anymore.

only after watching over you for a while does miguel decide to finally talk to you, finding the perfect hiding spot to watch you through your window as you pick up your ringing phone. he has to stop himself from groaning because your voice sounds so much sweeter when it's in his ear, smooth and precious as you ask who it is. and he can't resist playing with you, dying to hear more as he sighs behind his mask.

"tell me your name and maybe i'll tell you mine." miguel answers, gravelly voice practically purring through the speaker. he can see the confusion on your face as you pace your kitchen, reaching for a bag of chips before walking back to your couch and settling in to watch a movie. he hears the screams from the tv and bites his lip. "what's that noise?"

"a movie." you reply, the expression on your face getting less guarded as you listen to his voice.

"a scary movie?" he asks, leaning against the edge of the roof so that he's got the perfect view of you. you take a chip and pop it in your mouth, chewing quietly, and he follows the movement of your lips with eager eyes.

"mhm," you nod, and miguel thinks it's so fucking cute the way you move your head even though you think he can't see you.

"you like scary movies?" he asks with a hum, and you voice out a yes. his eyes remain hooded and attentive as he effortlessly continues the conversation. "you got a favorite, sweetheart?"

he catches the way you melt under his sweet words, and miguel decides then and there that he's never letting you go. he listens to your answers with a grin, tucking his knife away and watching you animatedly talk to him for the remainder of the night.

and the rest is history.

you tell him about a guy who's bothering you? he'll bury him. someone made you cry? he'll break their legs. your date stood you up? he'll stab them so many times he loses count. and then after all of that, he'll call you like he always does, rumbling honeylike words into his phone as he casually watches you from behind his mask.

"and how was your day today, sweetheart?" he'll drawl out, late at night as he perches on the neighboring roof to your apartment. with the way he's angled he can perfectly see the innocent little smile on your face as you settle in bed, talking on the phone like you're not scared of him at all.

and you shouldn't be, because he'd never hurt you, of course.

some nights you'll giddily tell him about the most exciting parts of your day, smiling and giggling until you fall asleep without a care in the world. but on the nights when you complain or whine about somebody that's made you upset, wronged you, or god forbid, showed interest in you? well, those are the nights miguel has to grit his teeth and clench his fists, trying to control the flare of pure rage that courses through him. he lulls you to sleep with sweet words, trying to keep his cool but still vibrating with anger because who the fuck do they think they are, getting near you like that?

"don't worry, pretty girl," he sighs into the phone, twirling his knife between his fingers. "i'm sure they'll stop bothering you soon enough."

and they do. but you being the precious oblivious little thing you are, assume that you're just lucky. a guardian angel, you had said, was watching over you. miguel had just chuckled into the phone, deep and rich as he smirked at you from the roof once again.

"guardian angel? well lucky you, huh?" he had asked, feeling all too pleased with himself. you agreed with a nod.

well, if that's what you wanted to see him as he had no problem playing guardian angel for you.

and no he doesn't even want you to find out, because the last thing he wants to do is scare you. no no, he'd much rather protect you from the shadows, eliminating every single threat could ever harm a hair on your pretty little head. his reward comes in the form of you living your life, carefree smiles and all.

and granted he feels much more rewarded when he calls you late at night, deep voice teasing with an underlying sense of possessiveness as he speaks to you about anything and everything. he doesn't understand why and how you decided that he was safe to talk to, but you do, laughing and sighing into the phone until you've dozed off.

and if you've accidentally left your windows open, well of course being the gentleman he is, miguel will close them for you. but not before he stands at your bedside, raising his mask to watch you sleep peacefully. such a pretty little thing, so sweet and gentle. and after pulling himself away from your sleeping form, he quietly shuts the window behind him, yanking his mask back down with a smirk because he doesn't want anyone else to see you all vulnerable like that.

you were too trusting to begin with, but you trusting him is alright. after all he's the only one who's been looking out for you. anyone else tries to get near you and he'll have no choice but to tear their limbs off. they could be a threat to you, right?

but that's why he'll never let you out of his sight.

you're his after all.

#[𐐪— rheya’s writings. 𐑂] #[𐐪— asks. 𐑂] #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #atsv x reader #spiderman x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara x reader #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel x you #miguel x y/n #spiderman 2099 #atsv x you #ghostface x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara fluff #miguel ohara x y/n #across the spiderverse #atsv #miguel ohara #ghostface miguel ohara #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara headcanons #miguel headcanons #spiderman

[arielleslipgloss]

It Girl Habits!!

(none of these photos are mine)

“You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours.” - Anne Hathaway

Stay busy!! Do you see those it girls like Serena Van Der Woodsen scrolling on their phone all day? No, you rarely do. It girls are always busy doing something. So, therefore do some self care, study, workout, read, journal, go shopping, go on solo dates, hang out with friends, paint, have a dance party, etc. Do fun activities and take care of yourself. Another example of a busy it girl is, Elle Woods. Elle Woods wasn’t becoming one with the couch everyday. She had goals to achieve. She had people that doubted her to prove wrong. So get up! Start planning out your day or week. Start making goals!!

Have goals! You wanna know why you’re bored all the time? Well, it’s because you have no goals. You practically don’t have a life because all you do is sleep, eat, scroll, and repeat. You’re wasting time doing nothing. You could’ve had a clean room by now. Maybe you could have finished that book. Whatever it is, you could have had it. You could’ve been 1% better than yesterday. You don’t though because you have no goals. That time you’re wasting, can be used toward your goals. It can be used toward your dream life. Maybe, you do have goals? Yet you don’t even take action. What are you waiting for? For someone to do the work for you? No, get up and start taking action.

Be mindful of what you consume online!! Just like how who you surround yourself with affects you. What you consume online affects how and who you are. For example, listening to sad music makes you feel sad. Music is meant to tell a story that you feel deeply. You may not even relate to the song, but you feel as if you do. So, you become sad and continue to listen to sad music. When listening to uplifting music you gain confidence. You still feel like you relate to the song. Just with a more positive effect. As for what you watch and read. Don’t read/watch stuff that will put you down. Watch/read content that will help you.

Complimenting yourself every time you pass the mirror!! Some may say it’s cringy, but DO IT. Would you rather be cringy or be the best version of yourself? Exactly, so either say it out loud or in your head. Say it even if you might not believe it. Say it because you deserve it! Try to be creative with your compliments. Not all compliments have to be about your looks. It could be your personality, your thoughtfulness, how creative you are, etc. Also loosen up, be your own hype girl. When you see the mirror you could say, “Omg I look like the main character.” “Oh wait, I am!” Lastly, don’t forget to have fun with hyping yourself up.

Mediating or journaling when stressed!! When stressed we start to feel a lot of tension. So, that’s why meditating is so important to do when stressed. All you have to do is sit down and focus on breathing. Plus, It calms down your nerves, relaxes the mind, body, and soul. Not just that, but plenty of other benefits. Which includes, helps focus, betters mood, helps you sleep, slows down aging, etc. As for journaling, it’s practically free therapy! That is, at least in my eyes. All you need is a notebook, a pen or pencil, and yourself. Journal what’s making you stressed or anxious. Let all your emotions out, write freely. Your words don’t have to make sense. Nor do you need to have perfect writing. In fact, when you journal it may be all over the place. However or whatever you write, just let it out.

Expressing your gratitude!! Life is so beautiful and has so much meaning. So, either write down what you’re grateful for or thank God. You are so blessed to be here today. That is only just one thing to be grateful for. There are so many things to be grateful for, air, family, friends, your mind, being born as you, water, books, food, shoes, clothes, and so much more!! Express your gratitude everyday. It could be the most random thing like, a poster. As long as you’re truly grateful, then express it.

7. Having a low screen time!! Cliché, I know but it’s true. Your devices are consuming you. Think about what you use your device(s) for. Good examples are, for work, for motivation, tips, workout videos, inspiration, knowledge, and maybe even faith reasons. Now here are bad examples, procrastinating, sinning, hating on others, scrolling, because you’re bored, to watching videos of people that make you insecure, and lastly to cope with something. Which to clarify, trying to cope by using your phone, I understand somewhat. On the other hand, it could make what you’re coping with worse. I say that because there are so many studies on why our phone is bad for us. Seriously, so many and we are completely unaware of the damage it does. So for that reason, try to use your phone only for the good. I know you’re probably going to make an excuse. Which we all do and that’s ok, but please try.

8. Encouraging yourself to do better!! You should always be working hard to be 1% better everyday. So on the days you don’t feel like doing anything, encourage yourself. Show up for yourself, you will be so happy after. Lastly, trust yourself to get whatever done!!

9. Having a healthy sleep schedule!! For me, I try to aim for 8-11 hours of sleep. For others, it may be 7-10 hours of sleep. Whatever makes you feel the most well-rested should work. Just try to be consistent and mindful of the time. I also recommend to be off your phone for at least 30-60 minutes before going to bed. It will improve how you sleep a lot. That also being said, try not to be on your phone when you wake up either. It’ll help improve your health by a lot. Especially, the health of your brain and eyes. As I had mentioned, try to be consistent. Set a certain time to go to bed and turn off your phone. Then, get your lovely beauty sleep gorgeous!!

10. CLEANING!! The last habit is, cleaning. Now, I don’t just meaning cleaning your room or house. I mean even your body and mind. For starters, a clean room equals a clean mind. Therefore, stop procrastinating and start cleaning. Turn on some fun music and maybe even romanticize cleaning. Just make it fun and DEEP clean. I know someone reading this has been procrastinating on cleaning. You know who you are, so clean everything. Then, for cleaning the mind a little extra meditate. I feel like I already went over a bit about meditation. So lastly, for the body, take your showers consistently. Also, please wear deodorant. I see way too many people nowadays not wearing deodorant. Seriously, wear your deodorant.

“Always walk around like you have on an invisible tiara on.” - Paris Hilton

Remember, always apply lip gloss and stay pretty! Love you, dolls 💋

Info I used: https://reallifecounseling.us/blog/benefits-of-meditation

My Pinterest: @arielleslipgloss

#glow up #that girl #wonyoungism #becoming that girl #clean girl #it girl energy #pink pilates princess #girl blogger #health is wealth #it girl #it girls #girly stuff #girly tumblr #girly girl #it girl tips #pinterest girl #girlblogging #girlblogger #girlblogger aesthetic #girlblogger interrupted #this is what makes us girls #girlhood #this is a girlblog #just girly things #lana del rey #anne hathaway #taylor swift #natalie portman #princess diaries #devil wears prada

[linddzz]

Here an assortment of Facts About Morpheus in the Red Flags AU. Where I'm starting to lean more towards the version where they meet and are already into each other before the ""Fake Date"" Incident:

-Jessamy is the raven he took care of when he found her injured outside of his townhome. He now has a room with a window he often keeps open for her to fly into whenever she feels like it. I don't know how legal any of this is in London but tbh it doesn't matter because he also does not know what the laws are and doesn't care.

- His townhome is very dark maximalist in decor, which tends to surprise people at first. There are houseplants and little statues all over, and the walls are hidden behind millions of bookshelves. There is an art studio room and books scattered everywhere. Very recently, hypothetical visitors would notice a lot of child locks and child proofed areas that have a bit of a panicked "I bought every safety thing in the store bc I have no idea wtf I'm doing" energy to them.

- He has a therapist. Yes, the Morpheus that Hob meets is the upgraded version who is actually working on himself already. This is what the improved personal growth version of Morpheus is like.

Anyway, said therapist is Gilbert F. Greene. Because Morpheus going head to head with an unstoppable force of old timey adorable optimism who will also not take his shit is delightful. Dr. Greene insists on going by first names and Morpheus always makes "Gilbert" sound like a slur in retaliation. Some conversations I imagine include:

"Good morning Gilbert, you will never guess who had what you might call a """relapse into self destructive behaviors"""" last night."

"I am very sorry to hear that my dear boy. Let me say though, that I am so very proud of you for calling me! That is a phenomenal step for you and it's wonderful that you are being proactive in your recovery."

"Don't patronize me Gilbert. I will hang up."

(this ended up being super long so I'm just gonna spare y'all's dash. Warning for some lightly touched on mentions of drug use and self destructive behavior.)

- Him getting a therapist was part of the requirements for gaining visitation rights and then weekend custody once a month with Orpheus. The therapy is actually helping, and he's bitter about that.

- His given name is actually Dream, he goes by his middle name. All the Endless siblings have awful names. Desire goes by Adonai because who calls a fucking child Desire???

When Hob meets the rest of the family, Destiny goes "it's good to see you again, Dream" and Hob begins turning to Morpheus like "lmao who tf is named Dream" only to find Morpheus glaring daggers at his brother.

- The Endless parents are rarely around. Some of the siblings still live in the manor and they all use it for family dinners, but it's common for their parents to be off travelling for years at a time.

- Morpheus is an author and a painter who has a bajillion pen names to go with each genre he writes in, so it's hard to figure out exactly how much he's written. Even before becoming a father though, his face and full name is mostly associated with children's fantasy stories that he illustrates himself, and his Art vs Artist vibe is very Miyazaki.

Him and Calliope collaborated on a series of illustrated poetic translations of ancient epics. Their divorce was exactly as messy as one might imagine the divorce between two passionate artist types might be.

- His downward spiral of self destruction started before the divorce but oh boy did it nosedive during and after.

- When she got pregnant after divorce proceedings had started, there was a moment where they were both meeting with lawyers and one asked something along the lines of if this meant they would try for reconciliation and staying together. Calliope said "no" immediately.

It's not like Morpheus exactly thought they would get back together, but the speed and firmness of that hard "no" had his head screaming with white noise and some badly thought out self medication for months, which ended up being why Calliope got full custody and he is just now able to get more involved with the now two year old Orpheus.

- His rebound with Thessaly was also messy. She was just in it for a fun fling and he was... Morpheus. He found out he got dumped when she informed him she was already in the process of moving back to Greece, and Johanna said he needed to be banned from any more beautiful Greek expats from that day forth.

- No one can figure out what the deal is with him and Lucienne. The simple explanation is they're queerplatonic soul mates. Lucienne's wife Gault thinks they're a bit codependent (not an inaccurate assessment), but is more civil with him since the day she yelled at him to go get an actual therapist instead of constantly putting his shit on Lucienne, and he actually did. (It is unclear if this or Calliope demanding therapy for him to get visitation with Orpheus was his wake up call catalyst, but probably a bit of both.)

- Lucienne was originally a personal assistant. She now works as his editor since she seems to be the only person who can keep track of all the shit he's written. She is also the only person who can get away with critiquing his works in progress without sending him into a fit where he might burn all his manuscripts.

- When Morpheus started mentioning this Gadling guy a lot, Lucienne paid a visit to the pub. Not to do anything so crude as to threaten a man's life if he breaks her sensitive friend's heart. What could she do anyway? No no. She's just here to smile with zero trace of humor and ask some questions while looking him up and down through her spectacles. Hob will later describe this as one of the most pants shitting moments of his life, and he felt like he got transformed back into a primary school kid who talked slightly too loudly in the library.

- Morpheus went through a slutty phase during and shortly after University that was less of a healthy and fun exploration of his sexuality and libido, and a bit more "I will take anyone who will have me in any way they will want me and I know that if nothing else, I'm pretty."

- Him and Johanna used to have a game seeing who could get more free drinks in one night. This had to be put to an end when it turned into the catalyst for at least three screaming fights between them.

Fight subjects were

Quality vs Quantity. Morpheus insists his ability to get people to buy him a single glass of wine that costs £50 beats Johanna's cheap beers. Johanna disagreed. loudly.

Is it cheating when Morpheus ran to the bathroom to smudge on some eyeliner and then stole Johanna's lip gloss? Is it further cheating when Johanna realized that his main method of getting drinks was "act like Adonai"? Accusations that he would ever act like his horrid annoying younger sibling sent Morpheus into an absolute tantrum.

Competitiveness DID overcome sibling rivalry enough for Morpheus to go to Adonai for makeover assistance. This backfired because it made Morpheus hot to the point of intimidating, and Johanna won that night.

- After Hob starts flirting with him, Morpheus goes suspiciously into a Romantic, Pre-Raphaelite inspired art era featuring lots of noble knights with dark sunlit hair. A lot of them seem to be lured in by dark haired fae entities all La Belle Sans Merci style. It's disgustingly obvious.

-Therapy has made him juuuuust self aware enough to know that he MAYBE tends to go a bit hard and fast with romance. This makes him a little more cautious with Hob than he usually would be, and he's doing a bit of "Hob is so nice and sweet and interested but I'm gonna mess it up :(((" pining. Everyone around him is fucking sick of it. He is not self aware enough to realize he's still going super hard and fast, but this time he's doing it while sighing sadly and drawing Hob in his sketchbook all the fucking time.

#red flags au #human au #Dreamling #gonna make my pinned masterpost to organize shit later today djdjdksk

[fracturediron]

Something I do like about the character writing for DFF is that 1) The characters really do feel like messy teenagers 2) The characters do shitty things, hurt each other or do harmful things to themselves that - frustrating and painful as it is to watch - make sense for the character and their circumstances. The characters don't often make the smart or best decision, but for the most part, it makes sense in context.

Tw for discussion of sexual abuse

Like am I mentally yelling at Non to forget about the movie, ditch these shitty 'friends', be honest with Phee, report Kru Keng and to move to Phee's school? Yes, I am. Do I understand why he doesn't do any of those things? Yes, I do.

He's a teenager who's mentally ill, isolated, with low self esteem and coming from a place of poverty.

As a kid, I was also part of a group of 'friends' who were actually bullies. Although things never went nearly as far as they do in DFF, I can get where Non's coming from. When you're that desperate for acceptance and to be a part of a group (however shitty it may be), and when perhaps they're not even always shitty, just enough so to make you consider staying around, you'll stay around in the hope things get better.

Non's family are poor - to the point of taking out loans for New - and he's already brought trouble to their door due to the money laundering scheme, as well as to his parents' relationship. In contrast to New - who's implied to be the golden child - Non likely feels like he's brought nothing but trouble and misery to his family.

As someone who's mentally ill and on medication, I wouldn't be surprised if he felt ashamed of his mental illness as well, and felt like that already made him a 'burden' to his family. Disclaimer that I don't know how mental illness is treated in Thailand specifically, but as someone from an East/Southeast Asian background, I do feel like in general, mental illness is something that still has a more of a stigma to it in Asia than it does in the West (not that there isn't stigma here too). Like, I would never tell my mum I'm in therapy because I feel like she wouldn't truly understand, and might even blame herself for me going. From her point of view, only 'crazy' people, someone with something seriously wrong with them or someone suffering from severely traumatic event would go to therapy.

When Non got taken in by the police, Phee talked to his dad to get him released, putting himself in potential trouble with his dad and potential future trouble with the police if this comes under any further scrutiny.

Non says time and time again he doesn't want to be a burden to anyone, and he already feels like he's been a burden to his family and Phee. He knows his family can't afford the debt, and he doesn't want to trouble Phee further. So when Kru Keng offers him money in exchange for sex, even though he knows what Kru Keng's doing is wrong, even though he doesn't want to lie and 'cheat' on Phee (and don't tell me it's 'cheating'; again, this is an adult in a position of power grooming a vulnerable youngster), he believes he'd be bringing his troubles to his loved ones and doesn't want to be even more of a 'burden.' So he has sex with Kru Keng.

And then Phee's reaction to finding out. Does he react badly and then say something really awful to Non by telling him to get lost and die? Yes. Do I understand why he reacted like that? Yes! Again, he's a teenager, and probably one in his first serious relationship, and reacting out of anger and hurt, without full details of the situation or understanding of why what Kru Keng's doing is incredibly wrong (even if Non seems to be 'consenting').

Unfortunately, in cases of real life teacher-student grooming, it's not uncommon for the reaction of students (especially teenagers) to not be one of 'oh, that's fucked up, the teacher's a monster, poor student [x]' but for the victim to be ridiculed or slut-shamed by some quarters, especially if it's seen as 'consensual.'

Jin's reaction too. Is it shitty he videoed Non and then (almost?) posted it on social media? Yes. Is it because of him taking that video that it somehow got disseminated to the rest of the school? Yes. Do I understand why he reacted this way? Yes. People are messy and human, and doesn't always react in the best ways in the face of hurt, anger and immaturity

#dead friend forever #dff spoilers #dff the series #non dff #jin dff #phi dff #phee dff #dff meta

[cicimunson]

What You Deserve

Author's Note: I'm easing back into writing, so this fic is super short but it's basically therapy for me rn. I do plan to resume all my series, gonna be on here much more.

Story Summary: You get your heart broken, and Eddie is there for you.

Ship: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Reader is really fucking sad, there's a stabbing joke, idk if that would bother someone but just in case.

You burst into Eddie’s trailer without knocking, practically sprinting down the hall to his room and flinging open the door. He and his friends jump when you barge in, startled, Gareth practically falling off the bed.

“Jesus, Y/N do you knock-” Eddie trails off as he notices your tear streaked face. “Alright guys, out.” He says immediately, waving a hand dismissively.

Jeff groans. “You’re kicking us out? We’re in the middle of campaign plotting!”

“Out!” Eddie repeats, pushing them towards the door.

“Of course his girlfriend ranks above us guys, don’t act surprised.” Dustin teases, tugging on Jeff’s arm.

“She’s not my girlfriend, for the millionth time.” Eddie rolls his eyes. He wishes though.

“Mhmm, tell us that the next time you kick us out.” Gareth grumbles.

“You don’t…Eddie, never mind, I didn’t realize you were busy.” You manage to choke out.

Dustin whirls towards you when he hears the pain in your voice and realizes you’re sobbing. “Nah Y/N, it’s totally okay, we were pretty much done.” He smiles sympathetically before elbowing Jeff in the ribs.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble.

“It’s okay Y/N, we really were wrapping it up.” Jeff pats your arm as they leave.

As soon as they’re out the door, Eddie pulls you into his arms, hugging you tightly. “Sweets, what’s wrong? What happened?”

You start to sob again, burying your face in his shoulder. “He chose her. He told me he was moving on and he chose her.”

“Oh fuck. I’m so sorry. Fuck.” Eddie snuggles you closer, stroking your hair. “You deserved better than that fucking prick anyways.”

You sniffle. “Stop, he wasn’t a prick. He told me we’d never be together and I kept on deluding myself into thinking we would somehow.”

“He also told you he was in love with you knowing that you two could never be. He never should have told you. He should have left you alone.”

“Stop, you always blame other people when I’m upset. This was on me. I saw him pulling away and I knew he was trying to move on and I still held on to hope. It just hurts. I was so fucking stupid.”

“Don’t ever say that about yourself again.” Eddie says sternly, brushing tears from your face with his thumb.

“It’s true. Of course he chose her. She’s perfect. She’s skinny and beautiful and uncomplicated and everything I’m not. I knew. I fucking knew he was gonna choose her.”

“Stop it. You are fucking perfect and if he can’t see that, if he can move on like you’re nothing, he’s the fucking stupid one.”

Eddie’s heart is breaking for you. To see you sobbing and hysterical, to see you so fucking broken, it’s almost more than he can take. You were the most amazing person he’d ever known, and he hated the guy for making you doubt that.

“I want him to move on and be happy, he deserves it. But I didn’t know it was gonna hurt this badly. I know it’s selfish but I can’t help but think “What about me? What am I supposed to do?”

“It’s not selfish. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel. Your feelings are valid and fuck anyone that makes you feel otherwise.” Eddie insists, hugging you close again. “I’ve got you, okay? I’m here for you, always.”

“Can we lay down? Please? I’ve cried to the point of exhaustion.” You mumble. All you’d done the entire day was sob and your eyes were so swollen you could barely hold them open.

He pulls you onto the bed with him, shifting onto his back so that you can rest your head on his chest. “Anything you need, sweets. I’m right here.” He murmurs, kissing the top of your head.

“Thank you. I’m really sorry that I interrupted your stuff with your friends.”

“Don’t apologize. You needed me. I’d drop anything if you needed me.” Eddie admits, grateful that you can’t see the blush creeping up his neck.

“You’re so sweet. I don’t know what I would do without you.” You lean up and kiss his cheek. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

He blushes more. “You’ll always have me, Y/N.”

“Your face is red, are you hot?” You start to lean back but he tugs you against him again.

“I’m fine. Stay.” He insists.

You snuggle into his arms, reaching a hand up to twist a lock of his hair around your fingers. Your tears stop after awhile, your sniffles subside. Eddie rocks you in his arms, humming a song soothingly.

“He broke my heart, Eds.” You whisper after a bit. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.”

“You will. In time you won’t even remember him. Someone will mention his name and you’ll draw a blank. I promise you.” 

“I don’t want to forget him. I just want the pain to stop.”

“It will, baby. Just give it time. And do whatever you need to do to feel better. Your feelings, your mental health, that’s what matters right now and fuck anyone that can’t see that.”

“You’re so insanely loyal, you know that? I could kill someone and you’d say it was their fault for running into my knife.”

“Shouldn’t have been running around sharp objects, totally their fault.” He quips, smoothing your hair as you look up at him. “Seriously, you will find happiness again. You don’t need anyone else to be happy. It comes from you, sweets.”

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” You smile at him and realize it’s the first time you’ve smiled in days.

“There’s that gorgeous grin, I’ve missed that.” He can’t help but run his thumb over your bottom lip. Your breath hitches and your lips part as if they have a mind of their own.

Eddie groans softly, eyes fixated on your mouth. “Sweets…” His tone carries a warning.

You close off the space between the two of you and kiss him. Eddie returns the kiss, caught up in a moment of weakness. He should stop this. You’re not in the right mindset. But he indulges for a few more seconds before pulling away.

“We can’t.” He murmurs. “You need time and I understand that.”

You blush, starting to pull away from him. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

He tugs you back, shaking his head. “No, I’m glad you did. And I want to revisit this, when you’ve gotten over your heartbreak. I don’t want to be a rebound or a way to forget about him. I want to know that it’s real, Y/N, cause it’s real for me.”

“It is for me, too. But I agree, I need some time to process and move on from this.”

“Of course, sweets.”

~~~~~~~~~~

And Eddie does that. He gives you space and time, staying by your side to help you through your heartbreak. He holds your hand, he makes sure you eat and get some sleep, he listens to you cry and vent and scream and do everything you need to do to move on.

And one day someone brings up the guy you lost in conversation. Eddie’s eyes immediately flicker over to you, frowning.

But you’re okay. You barely register his name, your expression doesn’t change. You nod politely when someone tells you he’s engaged now, no trace of sadness or remorse on your face.

And that night, Eddie kisses you again for the first time in months. He cups your face and holds you close and tells you that he’s proud of you, that you’re amazing, and that you’re all his. Because after all, being happy with Eddie is what you deserve.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @cluz1babeabe @aunicornmademedoit @neewtmas @harrystylesandthegoobs @cancankiki @cal-is-not-on-branding @cltopp199999

#eddie x reader #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson x you #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x y/n

[abrthephantomq]

Soooo....

Turnabout Storyteller.

I had already vaguely known about Uendo having DID due to me not necessarily avoiding spoilers when reading fanfic, but...

I have so many thoughts on this as someone who HAS the disorder they're representing here.

Like, one, I definitely appreciated the way they revealed it -- during a Mood Matrix session. Having multiple sets of feelings and having them switch on and off like that is def a thing. I've/we've experienced that before.

But also -- before that, when Uendo was switching between his "characters" and everyone thought he was just putting on a performance? Yeah, see. They did that really well considering that like -- yes, the way alters hold the body/the face can be really different. They certainly felt like different people, which was really cool to see. I liked the different poses they had because as I played I was like, "Huh... is he the character with DID...? He is, right?"

The thing is, I'm like 80% certain that Uendo is the murderer, and THAT annoys me -- but I'm not done playing through the case, yet. I just started the second half of the trial, so.... I'll comment as I go.

But if I'm right and Uendo IS the murderer, I'm gonna have to roll my eyes because soooo many pieces of media use my disorder to show HEY SOMEONE WITH THIS COULD BE A KILLER AND NOT KNOWWWWW and I hate that. Because like.... no.

OH THANK GOD. Like 3 seconds into the send half of the trial and it's NOT Uendo. Yay. Yayyyyy. I'm actually really glad they did that subversion of the person-with-DID-is-the-killer trope. Thank fucking GOD.

SIMON GRABBING ATHENA when she starts to doubt she can prove Bucky's innocence is just -- fuck. Okay. Yeah, I see why the fandom loves that particular moment. (I love Simon so much omfg).

I am honestly loving this case and I actually really like the way they've presented Uendo -- it's simplified a bit for the sake of the audience, but at the same time, switching DO be like that. And you can certainly be co-conscious and share memory.

Like.... that's legitimately how our System works -- there's usually 2-3 of us up front at any given time, with someone generally more forward, while the other(s) listens / watches. Sometimes others push to the front. And there are 4 of us who more or less have access to the continual life happenings even if we don't always recollect specific details (or what we were feeling) later.

Also Owen being a LITTLE makes so much damn sense? Fuck, idk man, I love it. I kinda adore them.

I really really really got weary when Uendo's diagnosis was revealed because, y'know, the whole oh God pls tell me you're not the murderer even if it was kinda looking like you were.

That fucking balloon girl did it, didn't she? Jesus fucking Christ. I love that, but I also hate that. Also it's so unfair they made this chick so goddamned pretty.

Also man can I also say just how like.... they legitimately refer to Owen as a child, and Kisegawa with Ms., and -- that's actually a nice little piece of the writing here. Like... is it absolutely perfect? No. It's not. But let me tell you -- as someone with this disorder? Writing it and showing it for an audience is hard.

That whole, "everyone is unique" thing applies here -- every System is different. They all develop ways of functioning in order to blend in and protect themselves. Uendo may not have the denial bit that comes with this disorder (do you know how many times I find myself asking if I'm sure I'm not faking this thing? do you??? because like, it's a "rare" disorder, right? and was my trauma REALLY bad enough for me to have alters???? etc) -- but considering the confident way he, Patches, and Kisegawa speak about their experience with the disorder, I would imagine they've been in therapy for it for a while, now.

But also -- the three of them not being aware of Owen? Or denying his existence, at least? Well, they were either protecting him because he's so young, or they legitimately did not know since apparently he may only come forward when the body is drunk.

idk I love that Uendo et al was not the killer. Like so much. Thank FUCK.

Also that was a really fun case even if it was like, not entirely relevant to the overall story happening here in SOJ. I definitely enjoyed it.

#ace attorney #spoilers #spirit of justice #uendo toneido #thoughts of a person with DID #idk I ain't mad at the representation even if I was gonna be pissed #if Uendo had ended up being the culprit #thank God they did not do that

[if-you-feel-lonely]

hi love! i am a fellow jack manifold enjoyer and there's like no content for him (😭) is there any way you could write friends to lovers hcs for him? like about the friendship and how cc!jack fell for reader and all that (im a sucker for friends to lovers and also for jack manifold). maybe they stream together sometimes and all that?

FELLOW MANIFOLD ENJOYER 🛐🛐🛐🛐

there really isn't a lot of content for our beloved bald man </3 but on the up side, today I've been stressing myself out a lot and this is helping me calm down :D

TW: Swearing

I got a bit excited :,D

Friends To Lovers with Jack Manifold

You met when you both started streaming, becoming friends due to you both being small content creators

You guys just... clicked. like when you meet a new person that you can talk to like you've known each other for years

When he blew up, you started doing quite well, too

It became an unspoken thing between you guys to shamelessly promote each other's channels

Chat loves it, your friendship is superior

It took a while for him to come to terms with his feelings

For a while he told himself "no, they're just a really good friend" "no, we're just close"

Bullshit :D

He hated that he had these feelings. He loved your friendship and couldn't stand the thought of messing that up

After he realised, things became different

If you lived nearby, you guys would probably go on walks together, bc going on walks with the homies hits different

Before, it was quiet, but comfortable quiet

But now? It was awkward, like you were strangers

After a while, you started picking up on it, so you confronted him.

"Right, if there's something wrong, just say it. I'm not going to sit here and look at you moping all the time. If you don't want to spend this much time together, just come out and say it."

It kind of unravelled from there...

He told you everything about how he didn't want to mess up your friendship or make you uncomfortable

Poor man went :0 when you told him you feel the same way

"*insert shocked pikachu face*"

Not many people notice the difference in your relationship, you both act just as you did before

Tommy goes 🤨📸 when he sees you kiss

"OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE YOU GUYS ARE DATING." "we are." "... what? 😰"

What a fool

Niki thinks your relationship is adorable

Tommy is absolutely disgusted by the very prospect of two of his best friends dating

Wilbur is obviously happy for you both, but makes jokes about Jack paying you to date him

Whilst in vc with Phil, Jack constantly says things like "Phil, me and Y/N are like you and your wife, but better because we're not old"

Definitely involved in Quackity's couple's therapy

By the end of that, you two could hear each other through the walls in the house

"YOU LOVE MY BALDNESS." "JACK, I CAN HEAR YOU WITHOUT MY HEADPHONES." "DIDN'T ASK."

... Yeah.

MCC is always a thrill

If you're against each other, it's ridiculously competitive

In Dodgebolt, if he kills you, all you can hear on his stream is "JACK, I WANT TO BREAK UP."

MCC on the same team is even worse, though.

"Oh my god, you're so fucking incompetent." "No more than you, I've seen you trying to cook, dickhead."

If you're on the Dream SMP, things are deep

You both fought for L'manberg but went unrecognised

From there, your relationship became a canon part of the lore

It also became lore that it's not a good relationship - your characters fight and shout at each other a lot

It's made explicitly clear that this isn't a reflection of your real relationship - you shout at each other, but it's from across the house asking what you want for dinner or if you feel like going to the park

The majority of the lore between the two of you is angsty as FUCK

Chat rlly says "how dare you, i love it"

On stream, he tries not to be too touchy or affectionate

He thinks people will be invasive or intrusive into your relationship, so he keeps it all off camera

Off stream though? Perfect man.

You two sit on the living room floor with blankets and cushions all over the room, chilling and watching whatever's on TV

At Christmas, you watch all the shit-but-good christmas films

Occasionally, when Josh or Tommy come round, they take pictures of you two, usually captioned something like "disgusting." or "guys they're making me uncomfortable with their love"

All in all, bald man is boyfriend material

#dsmp #mcyt #dream smp #dsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #jack manifold #jack manifold x reader #mcyt jack manifold #dsmp jack manifold #dream smp jack manifold #cc!jack manifold x reader #cc!jack manifold #jack manifold hcs #dsmp headcanons #mcyt headcanons #dream smp headcanons #lonely writes #lonely asks

[sunny-speaks]

Hello ! I've read your fanfiction about a 14dwy academical rivals to lovers AU. I loved it... and know I'm obssessed. Could you please give us more headcanons ?

Academic Rivals! [REDACTED] x Reader Headcanons

Ahhh! This is my first ask and I am more than glad to answer! I am so sorry I took so long responding,,, but I do hope you enjoy!

Characters: [REDACTED] from @14dayswithyou x reader !!

(also to @14dayswithyou you can make as many additions as you want to this au, anyone can! a tag or two would be cool,,, but I don't mind not being tagged! i just can't believe i'm the first to write academic rivals-- but ill gladly claim the au!!)

So… [REDACTED], huh? Out of all the people at your post-secondary education institute, you chose the asshat fuckboi?

…Not a bad choice.

What, you falling for him because despite that hugeass brain (and his even bigger dick), he doesn’t make you feel like you’re dumb or inferior to him?

What, you like the fact that he treats you with borderline reverence on the inside yet willingly chooses to joke around and banter with you because it’s attention nonetheless?

What, you like the fact that he’s crazy dedicated to you and would never cheat (unlike a certain *cough* Teodore *cough*) on you?

What, you falling for him because deep down he is crazy, down bad for you and just wants you to want him as much as he wants you?

Well, you’re in for a ride if you even muttered a ‘...sure’ to any of those questions, because boy… does [REDACTED] deliver.

So maybe you say you hate him, but do you really?

Would your gaze drop from his eyes to other places on him and back up to him if you detested him as much as you say?

Would you continue bantering and teasing him like you do if you really wished he were dead?

Mmm, nah. He didn’t think so.

He knows you well enough to know you don’t actually hate him. You just rather think you hate him.

Oh, you loved the tension that came with rivalry, didn’t you?

Don’t worry, as long as you did, he did too. &lt;3

He may have gone to therapy for some of his family issues or deep rooted self-esteem issues, but that won’t change anything in the way he loves you.

He loves you sooo much, and he knows how smart you are as a person and believes in you so much… But he can’t help but worry!

He promised he’d leave his life of lies behind… but until you’re safe, he can’t stop what he’s started…

So, yes. He will ‘obsessively’ love you. But it would be less… ‘secretly following you in real life’ and more ‘just checking through the cameras.’

Something that hopefully you wouldn’t be aware of any time soon.

After all, you had a real communicative relationship with him now!

Why would he jeopardize that?

Better yet, if you ever feel unsafe from other stalkers, you could always stop by his place. He’s probably stronger than you if you want someone intimidating around to scare off the creeps!

“Hey, [REDACTED]?” You hesitantly asked, god, this was embarrassing… But he was the only person that you could go to that would hopefully not ask too many questions about your request.

You hated his guts, but at the end of the day, if you had to admit it (to yourself, never to him, God forbid), [REDACTED] was a dependable guy. And he seemed to respect you at times…

So that meant he was one of the people you trusted.

“Yeah, angel? Do you want some help with tutoring? Y’know, cause I’m sooo smart?” He made some offhanded comments with a snarky tone as he gathered his items into his bag before seeing you were serious. His grin fell. “Ah, sorry. …What is it?”

“Well- Uh— I-” You stammered, regret flashing through your face. Did you really have to ask him…?

No.

It was a problem, hopefully they’d help you out.

No matter how rude or condescending he acted, [REDACTED] was a good person nonetheless. He does realize that there are days you’re not up to bantering with him and leaves you alone… And days where he makes sure you’re not sick under the guise of it not being a fair fight.

Well, they wouldn’t like all this hesitation…

Better to be blunt about it. “I think I have a stalker.”

His face immediately fell to concern, “Shit. You’re sure?” He quickly shoved everything into his bag before swinging it over his shoulder as you gave him a brusque nod. He hesitantly hovered his hand over your shoulder, giving you a worried look, “That must be horrifying.”

[REDACTED]’s lip furled into a disgusted frown just thinking about the assholes out there who had even dared to scare you a bit. It was none of their goddamn business to stare, even breathe the same air, as his angel.

The fact that they had the gall to follow you around? Atrocious.

You let out a stuttered breath, body tensing at the adjective he had used. It was horrifying. You didn’t know where this stalker had come from… All you had known was that there was supposedly a creep on the loose and you didn’t need any sort of pervert interested in you… “I d-don’t need your concern, dumbass.” You gave him a quick, approving tilt of your head, letting him rest his hand on your shoulder, contrary to what you had huffed under your breath.

Something about the warmth of someone else grounded you, tethered you back to the world. It was a lot nicer than that paranoid feeling you’d been carrying with you lately. You hadn’t seen anyone you were close to, not wanting to bother them…

But with [REDACTED], it just felt… easier? You weren’t quite sure.

“I was just… y’know wondering if you might… wanna have me over for a couple days?” You awkwardly chuckled, maybe this was too much to ask of him… How could you phrase this so you didn’t seem too vulnerable…? Especially in front of your jerk rival. “I know you might not handle my presence with you for so long, you might even combust from being so close to me… My apartment just doesn’t feel… too safe right now.”

His face immediately softened, eyebrows unfurling from worry to concern and comforting features made their way to his face. He gave you a small smile, “Angel, you can drop by anytime you want. I don’t have experience with…creeps like that.” His mouth curled into a snarl, but immediately was washed over with a kind smile, “But if you feel more secure with someone like me around, then I’m more than glad too.” He paused, a smirk making its way to his face, “But I hope you aren’t doing this to scope out your competition. Wouldn’t be trying to find a flaw of mine, now are ya?”

Your body relaxed, as you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. Before you heard his last quip at least.

You let out an annoyed and flabbergasted noise at his quip before rolling your eyes, “Oh? You’d be so flattered, wouldn’t you, [REDACTED]? I don’t even need to scope you out to beat you…!” You stopped before sighing, “But… Thanks for letting me stay at your place, I guess. I’ll need to pick up some of my shit at home before we go, that alright with you… 2nd place?” You jeered at the insult. After all, what were the two of you if not competitors for the highest mark in the class?

Friends? You scoffed at the notion fondly, if he were to ask, you wouldn’t say no.

But that was for you to know, and for him to never discover.

He softly smiled to himself, more than glad to see you back to your nature before looking down at you than winking, “Won’t be 2nd for too long, angel.”

You stared at him, beckoning him with you on your way out of the class, “Gonna walk me to the car? Can’t hurt to have people gape out my intellect without you there to rub it in. We both know I’m better anyway.”

He let out a series of breathless chuckles, “That’s my considerate rival now, always putting my needs above yours… I’m honored.”

“Good. C’mon now, [REDACTED].”

The two of you end up teasing each other, hurling insults, bickering and a bit of everything in almost every conversation.

It’s in your nature to be naturally competitive for some reason.

Maybe [REDACTED] just enjoys seeing how frustrated or worked up you get… It is kind of adorable.

The same goes for him too though…

You roll your eyes at him, a small scoff making it through your voice, “You beat me once. Don’t let it go to your head.”

He gave you a taunting grin, his eyes squinted, light blue twinkling with mischief. “Why? Are you jealous, angel?”

“What-” You made a sound of disbelief. He was acting like a child! “Wipe that stupid grin off your face, idiot! So you beat me by a couple points-”

“And you flaunt it when you beat me by even less…” He mumbled loud enough to himself that you could barely pick up on it.

“Hey! It’s different and you know it!” You huffed at him, “Whatever. Just… stop grinning like that, you look stupid.”

He shrugged his shoulders, a triumphant, lazy grin splayed on his features, “Make me.”

Your eye twitched at his threat. Ohhh, that punk did not just― You flexed your fingers as if that would calm you.

Of course, he had to beat you by a couple of points this one time… It was such a dumb project! You hissed at him under your breath, seeing that stupidly cocky grin on his face.

Why’d you have that dumb main character with little to no trauma, while he got the side character that hides all their insecurities but ends up projecting onto their kids?!

Unfair. That teacher was totally biased.

Giving [REDACTED] more work to analyze… making his grade go up from the research… Hrrr, so biased. So unfair.

He gave you a slitted-eye smile as if to mock your frustration. You grumbled in envy before glaring at him. You grab him by the collar, tough enough to pull him towards you but gentle enough for him to break out by choice, “You wish. What’s it take to shut that stupidly pretty mouth of yours, huh?”

Your eyes flickered between his widened, shocked blue eyes to those soft, kissable lips of his.

You did not like where this was going…

Or maybe you did.

You weren’t too sure, emotions get muddled easily… Love and hate have a fine line after all.

…So do fear and arou-

Nope! 

No way!

Those are not very ‘pure’ thoughts!

You pulled him closer to you by his shirt collar and tilted your head, “Maybe a kiss from a resident angel?” You practically snorted at the remark of that condescending nickname he used for you.

[REDACTED] stared at you, too stunned to speak as you huffed with pride, quickly letting go. You smirked, turning around after winking at him, shit-faced grin all on display, “Clearly, that worked.”

With no one in the class anymore, [REDACTED] was left by himself. Their jaw went slack for a bit before mumbling into his hand as you were far away, furious blush spreading through their cheeks.

“…Was that a promise?”

#14 days with you #ren 14dwy #ren x reader #yandere #visual novel #ren 14 days with you #14dwy #14dwy ren #🧨headcanons #🌟small fic

[pookapufferfish]

Maybe I should rest, take it easy y'know

Just kinda stop everything for a bit

I wish my brain could be turned off and on again

Would probably fix a lot

Wish I could convey how I am feeling. Or more like, why am I feeling a certain way. People say I can talk to them about it, but what do I say

I wish seeing people or certain things didn't make me upset, I was actively thinking the other day "I wish I didn't have to see notifications from this person but I don't want to block them because they are a friend, I wish there was like, a one sided block that just hides them from you but not you from them"

Who even thinks that about their friends

I can't even talk to them about it because what do I say, they have probably been through stuff already, I don't want to make their day bad by going "hey friend, I feel like garbage when I see you. I keep trying to get better but I feel like I am moving backwards and now I am starting to go quiet when you are around."

I am scared to talk to them, maybe another day, or time. Or maybe the feeling will just go away.

Someone yelled at me today, I am not mad at them, I think they just had a bad day. But it was something I am kinda vulnerable about. They said sorry but I still feel off.

I feel like I am slow with things. I type slow, I move slow, I react slow. I feel like I slow others down. I am scared to play games with others unless I know the game well because I feel like I am just gonna slow them down or get left behind. And that sucks

I feel like I am out of the loop with a lot of stuff my friends do. And I feel like I can never get back into the loop because I will just get out of loop again. I am always a step behind. I am excluded from the silly inside joke. I am not a part of the fun exclusive group that I couldn't join because I was sleeping. And when I try to act chill and ask for more info or playful beg to join the group. They either ignore it or say that I had to be there. Or they explain why the group was made and "oh if you join next time then we can add you"

And "next time" sucks. Because when is next time, I live on the other side of the planet from a lot of friends. And the ones I don't have timezone differences with are the ones with the strangest sleep schedules or they are busy, or our schedules just don't align. And it hurts when I go to bed and I see friends all playing games together. And I wake up the next morning and people are laughing over all the fun that was had, all the silly jokes I missed, all the chaos. And when I talk about how I am sad I missed it "next time" they say.

As if they aren't gonna do another VC at 10pm my time. As if maybe I could join their game and not be left behind because they move too fast. As if I could be a part of their little groups.

I feel lonely, I feel like I am left out. Once I go back to school I will have no time at all to hang out with friends. But oh don't worry, this weekend we could hang out except no, because everyone is busy. And the cycle repeats.

And when I finally get to hang out with friends and have fun. I feel happy for a while. I feel loved and appreciated. But then I get weighed down, by seeing friends talking about stuff that I can never be a part of, because that stuff already happened, but hey always next time.

I am tired. I wish I could see some of my friends. I wish I could know them better. I wish I could be there for all the next times. I wish I could be happy hearing my friends happily talk about this dumb bit for the fifth time and trying to explain it to me over and over again. I wish I didn't have to cover parts of group artworks because seeing a certain design makes me feel like I am dying.

I want a hug, I need a nap. I have spent an hour writing this dumb ramble that nobody is going to read. It feels a bit cathartic though. Maybe this is how to show my feelings, but it feels too mean and raw.

I think screaming this into the void of the internet is fine, maybe everyone is right, maybe I do need therapy.

This post was just meant to be the first 2 lines, how did it become this mess

Anyways look at this cool dog, isn't he neat

#vent #i am just going to curl up and cry now because that might help

[feiandart]

Hi Fei, not sure if this message becomes public or not but I couldn't find any other way to contact you. Just wanted to apologise for my comment on chapter 35. I realise in retrospect it might have seemed rude, I was trying to be funny. So, I'm very sorry, and I don't want you to think I didn't enjoy the chapter. I have deleted the comment. If I may take this chance as well, you have been an inspiration to me, I love your writing. I am too an aspiring writer that took a sabbatical for many years, though my self doubt is my biggest saboteur right now. I would love to know how you honed your craft, your words are so beautifully written. I look forward to the next chapter ♥

First of all, hello and thank you for reaching out to me! ♥

I'm afraid my memory doesn't work properly (it never does, sadly), but I'm pretty sure no comment made me think "oh, that was rude", so don't worry at all ♥ Gonna admit now I'm curious 'bout what that was owo But I will not ask for you to share that again if it makes you feel uncomfortable!

Your words means a lot to me! ♥ I had inspiration issues for half of my life. I was around fifteen when I wrote my last paragraph, and after that I didn't for other fifteen years. Honest to God, Good Omens and its community saved me in more than a way when I was at my lowest - helped me both with coming back at writing, and starting drawing for myself. I startend enjoying things again. And I needed that. So, since finding inspiration again was so meaningful to me, being able to inspire others is like I achieved something so big I can't really find words to express it properly. It makes me feel kinda... Oh, dunno. I guess we can go with: blessed. Finding inspiration was (and is) an healing process to me. And I hope it'll be the same to others. So if it came to me, I can only be SO glad to know!! So thank you so much for sharing this!! ♥

Let me tell you this: I am my biggest saboteur myself. So I do understand what you say, and I can guess what you feel right now. My suggestion is something practical. Go in front of the mirror, tell yourself what you want to do and look straight into your eyes. Then, say: "I will do it. And you will NOT stop me." Then say the same to all the people who might go against you. Nobody, not even yourself, should have the power to stop you from doing the things you love. It may be hard at the very start, troublesome meanwhile, but I can assure you nothing's better than being able to live your dreams. All I can do for you now is assuring you I am on your side! And I am sure you can do whatever makes you feel happy.

Last, but not least (dear Lord I wrote so much and I'm not done yet.......), your last question. Funny thing to answer that one, actually. 'cause I never practiced. I never studied a way to arrange phrases and words, actually right now I'm always a bit overwhelmed anytime I sit myself in front of the screen and open my file to start writing. I'll tell you, I'm the messiest people in the entire universe. I had all the plot already written back in november, but yet my characters slip off my hands and do whatever they want. Does it makes any sense to you? I have to costantly re-arrange my plot to make sure everything have some kind of logic. The rest come from my own mind. Sugar, specifically, means a lot to me under a lot of different aspects. Both characters holds part of myself, my own traumas, my own experiences, my own mazes and struggles. I think maybe sometimes things went when I didn't want them to go 'cause my mind played dirty on me and I was unable to stop it. But I don't complain. So I'm afraid I don't have a real answer but this one: I just put myself into every single word I write. I play all the scenes in my mind just like watching movies. I feel what my characters does and, I will not deny this, oftern I cry while doing that too. I'm a bit too much emphatic, perhaps?

Gonna admit, writing Sugar is exactly like going to therapy to me. Goes just along with that, it helps me process myself, my own emotions, helps me validate anything bad I've ever felt.

Well uh, I got pretty carried away with this answer but I hope you can find something helpful around all of these messy words of mine ♥ (And sorry for my poor english if I made some mistake here and there, I fully believe in honest-to-God messages when it comes to answer people, both in comments, chat or anywhere else, so I never actually go back trying to correct my messages. Dunno, it feels like leaving you all full access to my stream of consciousness everytime I give answers like these. Not sure this makes sense. To me it does.)

Don't ever ever be afraid to tell me what you think or reach out! I'll always be here, happy to give you an answer. Thank you so much! ♥

#fei loves to reply #so feel free to ask anytime you want #sugar #writing #fic writing

[eunoiaastralwings]

This ask has been on my mind since like FOREVER 💗💗💗💗💗💗

I was wondering if you could do a feanorians x little brother ft nolofinwe where y/n was born very weak and frail but was still loved by his family dearly just that because of his frail body he's constantly bullied and hit by other elflings (and maybe some adults). Whenever he sees his brothers and father he feels so utterly useless but bottles everything up .

Make it end up in fluff please 🙏🙏

Thank you and have a wonderful day/night ❣️

characters feanorians x little brother reader ft. Fingolfin

fandom tolkien- the silmarillion

a/n am still uneasily writing about kids - so I made it into a headcanon. Idk if this is what you intended am sorry - so you can request else where because idk what else to do this - but I hope you at least like it @oggy4god

warnings angry overprotective family members xD

FEANOR:

As your dad - expect him to treat you the same as any other of your brothers. He doesn’t care whether or not you were born weak - Feanor still wants to achieve your goals and dreams, like each of his other sons did. He would help you achieve it too. 

Eru forbid if he witnesses anyone bullying you he will turn their lives to literal hell. He would protect you with his might and title - the most important to him being a father. He will allow no harm to come upon you. After your bullying incidents he keep just an extra eye and care on you - letting you know you can always talk to him. He will be extra caring on your side. 

If you ever feel useless compared to him - he will tell you otherwise and make you shine with your skills, no matter how small they may be, he is so proud of you.

NERDANEL:

I love her, OK? I could not miss your hot momma out. Just like Feanor, she wouldn’t see you any less. You receive a little more attention from her (sometimes your brothers are a little jealous of this but they understand and love you) - more care too. She will encourage you and help you every step of the way to help you achieve your dreams - she sits with you day and night.

Nerdanel is someone who doesn’t like to use the terms “weak” or people referring to you having a “condition” - she likes to think you were extra blessed by Eru, especially when you start to show your kindness and uniqueness to the world - showing your hidden talents. She is the proudest mother - and she shows it.

Your mother would be first to witness the change in your moods - you starting to get depressed. She knows you very well and finds the reasons behind it without having to even question. She likes to deal with it quietly - but if your bullies ceases to stop, she is not afraid to take it to the next level. If she uses her title among the Nolder for anyone, it will be for her children - especially you darling.

Sometimes she cries herself to sleep - thinking about all that you had to face alone and how hard it must have been for you and why you didnt come to her.

In seeing you like this - she understands depression and other mental illnesses so she advises and helps to start therapy or retreats among elves - knowing it is more common than one would think.

Oh - and if it comes to having to get getting revenge on the kindergarten moms who bullied her kid. . . oh, she will ! ! !

Nerdanel consoles her son -and then takes her revenge on those who mistreated him.

MAEDHROS:

As your oldest brother - he advises you like a 2nd father, he isn’t afraid to step in when Feanor is away to come and protect you. He lets you take it a little more easier in training. When you cannot achieve anything as fast as your brothers - he sits down next to you and comforts you with small pet talks. He tries to make you feel better about yourself by telling the number of times he failed before achieving something - letting you know how things take time and life isn’t about a race. Mae tells you to believe in yourself and that is the most important thing - he tells you to listen to yourself and the people that are family - “They say many things - but you mustn’t listen to them, but to the people you keep in here” - points to your heart.

When you finally learn to achieve a level in your training - he has the biggest proud face. He picks you up and places you on his shoulders, cheering for you. 

MAGLOR:

While your mother invites therapy for mental health - your big brother Maglor creates songs to boost up your self esteem. Ever seen music fights? - Yes, he does that to your bullies, before filling you with a heart warming and encouraging song like in those Disney movies - he becomes Baloo (The Jungle Book) or even Genie (Aladdin).

He becomes your personal cheerleader - singing from the top of his lungs as Mae carries you on his shoulders.

CELEGORM:

While he doesn’t show it well - he loves you greatly. If he ever sees anyone bullying you and making you feel bad about yourself - big bad brother Tyelko is going to threaten the very lives of your bullies, he becomes the bully of your bullies LMAOO.

He then feels better and drops in front of you - wrapping his arm around your shoulder insisting you go for a hunt that’s the only way he knows how to comfort. Otherwise he gets either Nerdanel, Mae or Maglor.

Expect Huan to be the bestest boi to protect you from big bad brother Tyelko is away to bully the bullies that tried to hurt you.

CARANTHIR:

If anyone learns of you being mistreated first, it is your overprotective big brother Cara - he sees red when he sees or hears of someone bullying you. Cara would straight up punch them in the face - he doesn’t care who/what they are: “HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF LAYING A HAND ON MY BABY BROTHER?!”

His words are searing with deadly anger - making them cower in fear. He will make sure they apologize to you - the one that you deserve. While Cara is caring, initially he is mad at you for hiding or bottling up everything. Afterwards he vows to let no harm come to you. Cara knows what it is like to be judged on - because of his ruddy freckles skin. 

Slowly the both of you become closer to each other like this - gradually opening up to each other and he has the proudest look on his face when he sees you defending him, small tears even gathers in his eyes.

CURUFIN:

Like Cara - he is so mad you had no one told anyone of your mistreatments, he will report straight to Feanor. He doesn’t know how to comfort - he never learnt that so he pulls you to the others to give you comfort, though he becomes the extra pair of eyes to protect you from anyone who dares to mistreat you. He can be a little hard on you at times - but when he learns he’s causing you hurt too he immediately stops - he does care deeply for you but he doesn’t know how to help you otherwise.

AMBARUSSA:

Please - if your older twin brothers ever sees someone hurting you - expect them to prank (and scare) the life out of them. They are letting no one hurt you in any way - they take on their roles of becoming your big brothers very seriously - even if at times it seems like it doesn’t.

Sometimes during training they purposefully fall behind you making you go ahead of them or failing on pretend - because they love seeing that triumphant amazed smile on your face once in a while. They will literally do anything to make you happy - once even daring to cut the hair of your school teacher that was giving you a hard time - “He doesn’t deserve it - if he cannot treat someone as amazing you right ! ! ! - Even Atar isn’t mad at us!”

FINGOLFIN:

Best Uncle Nolofinwë seeing this precious little nephew getting mistreated? - Oh, he will not allow such a thing to happen, for a split second he is about to lose his anger like your father - but he controls it and does it the right way of reporting it and making sure they achieve their punishment to even dare to think of doing such a thing to you. 

Afterwards - waiting for Feanor to come, he will take your hands in his and talk to you in a calm caring voice - telling you it is OK to feel like the way you and that everyone does feel like this once in a while - but the most important this is not let it cast you down: “You may think you only feel like this, young one - but we all do. . .Some are better at hiding than others and it is never good to hide it. We must accept that sometimes we need a little help. . .a little encouragement from the bad thoughts - and most importantly. . .you must never let these thoughts or words of others plague your heart, my dearest little nephew. . .”

Feanor is a little jealous and scowling at how his half-brother is having a moment with his son - expect your father to be in a sour mood and scowling at Fingolfin for a few moments before he turns to you and provides you the best of comfort - also severing the punishments for your bullying while your uncle shakes his head but offers your something in between a smile and a smirk.

Taglist form

tara's taglist: @wandererindreams @fizzyxcustard @ranhanabi777 @spidergirla5 @asianbutnotjapanese @floraroselaughter

#the silmarillion #the silm #the silmarillion x reader #feanor x reader #maedhros x reader #maglor x reader #celegorm x reader #caranthir x reader #curufin x reader #amrod x reader #amras x reader #ambarussa #amrod #caranthir #amras #celegorm #curufin #maedhros #maglor #eunoiawrites #silmarillion #feanorians #house of feanor #feanorians x reader #the sons of feanor #sons of feanor #answered #tolkien elves #feanor #feanorians x little brother

[coexistentialism]

TW for C S A, nothing graphic, just the topic - I am spacing that out and not putting tags because the last time I put C S A tags on a post, I got an anon telling me I deserved to be SA'd, so no thanks. Nothing in here is graphic.

[Before anyone says it, and before you read, no, this is not about shipping discourse. I am not touching that shit with a 10 foot pole. Do not ask me about that shit, I barely know what it fuckin' means, I'm not talking about that, and if you think I am, no I am not.]

It really does baffle me that people seem to only be okay with vent art, so long as it's not extremely graphic. Especially, particularly, if it's extremely sexually graphic in terms of sexual abuse survivors. Like most people are in agreement that things like traumacore (which is a broad category of just overall trauma vent art in my own opinion and perception) and like general art to vent about other abuse and trauma, but suddenly because it's about extreme, graphic abuse and trauma, it's "STOP ROMANTICIZNG IT, IT'S UNHEALTHY!!!", "IT'S A BAD COPING SKILL, YOU'RE JUST AESTHETIZING IT AND ROMANTICIZING IT!!!" when people literally said, and still say, the exact same thing about self-harm vent art, depression vent art, anything like that. Like I have lived through those years of Tumblr era and online in general where people saw any kind of vent art that depicted self-harm, depression, abuse, etc. and people would get dogpiled and harassed and shamed for it and treated like they were romanticizing abuse, self-harm, etc. when they. Literally are just venting about their feelings, their trauma, their struggles??

Oh, and it's not just if it's C S A related, it's not just if it's related to more extreme abuse - it's just if the artwork/writing itself is extremely graphic and doesn't sugar coat anything. Like I'm not saying you have to enjoy looking at someone's extremely graphic vent art, but surely you see the hypocrisy here? Vent art is only okay if it is sanitized.

Once again, it always goes back to trauma survivors having to sanitize ourselves and sugar coat everything so that it doesn't make others violently and viscerally uncomfortable. And like, yeah, it is uncomfortable lmfao. Imagine how we feel.

Not to mention. Once again. Art therapy is a thing? That exists? That literally helps people? There are plenty of studies that talk about this. There are plenty of studies that even show that oftentimes drawings by children are some of the only ways they can tell what happened. Same for adults, especially if you have DID.

And even if that random stranger on the internet is somehow making artwork that is in some way only worsening their trauma or whatever, that's not your business. 🤷 Like maybe don't shame people for having maladaptive coping mechanisms that aren't to your tastes.

I've drawn extremely vile things. I've written extremely vile things. I have no idea what they mean, I have no idea if they are hinting at any kind of actual events I have actually experienced or anything, but you know what didn't help me? The amount of people who say you are a pedophile for even daring to make art that depicts such horrific, graphic, and vile sexually abusive things. I constantly feel terrified that I am secretly a pedophile and don't know it, don't realize it. I am constantly terrified that my artwork is just me being a sick, disgusting, vile freak, instead of. Y'know. The possibility that it really is just a manifestation of extreme fucking abuse.

This is where it gets a bit more graphic, but I am NOT describing specific C S A acts or anything, but it is graphic in a way.

I am going to speak about this as if I know for a fact that I experienced these things, even thought I don't know, just keep that in mind before I say this. I'm being extremely bold sharing all of this and I might edit this out later or delete this post altogether, but I have experienced C S A under the lens of believing it as a healthy, consensual, pleasurable experience. Most of my vent art and things I have written depicts this. They depict C S A as if it was normal, healthy, consensual sex. As a result, a lot of the artwork and things I've written could even be mistaken as literal erotica or "romanticizing sexual abuse." Other stuff I've drawn/written is just straight-up graphic and violent C S A, it's just not sugar-coated or sanitized and is extremely graphic.

Like are you sure that person is "romanticizing" or "aestheticizing" their trauma/abuse? Are you sure that person is exploring their trauma in an "unhealthy" way, or is their artwork/writing the only way they can express deep, personal feelings that you could not possibly understand? And in the case that one out of every whatever number of people IS just making art and writing things that is only making it worse for them, do you only think that about people who make artwork/writing that you find gross/vile/uncomfortable/too graphic/etc., or does that apply to other vent art as well? Because if not, you should rethink that thought process. And again, do you really think it would be okay to shame people for having maladaptive coping mechanisms?

#my posts

[flownwrong]

Shipping bingo: rayk/fraser let's see if we can get bingo baby

okay I admit I cheated a little just to get a bingo but LET ME EXPLAIN

- comfort ship: self-explanatory

- criminally underrated: as of 2023, haha. I'm on a mission to convince more people to get into due south regardless of shipping anyway

- I could write essays: but I would prefer to write fic. and here's to me getting more confident about it

- fanon gets them so wrong: I don't know the current fanon, and what I can intuit from heaps of good fic left from The Times is a lot of varying but good fanon. however, in my imaginary discussions with an active fandom I am pretty sure I would find things to be ornery about because they're really easy to distort into stereotypes

- from what I know about Freud, he'd have a field day with just about anything. so I think I can safely include this one (also, I do have ray asking thatcher about not knowing who you are without another person playing on loop in my head)

- no one gets them like I get them: see above. there are many glorious and precise takes immortalised in fic but I can always find something I would tweak just a little to make it that much closer to my vision (which, oh well, I need to git gud at writing to keep my dignity while nitpicking the superior writing of others)

- facebook status: they would absolutely both think it's complicated. which it is, wonderfully so, canon timeline especially, but on fundamental level they're always just careening towards fitting together like puzzle pieces, so THEY'D THINK SO, BUT WE KNOW BETTER. also, watching ray, a shitty facebook user, make fraser a facebook account would be hysterical (because let's face it, fraser would never otherwise)

- it would never work in canon: here's my ultimate bingo cheat. because boy, does it ever work in canon. I can only explain it like so: in my perfect imaginary timeline they would never actually form a stable romantic bond without some serious soul-searching post-cotw. which is catnip to me because they really DO the puzzle pieces thing, but man, are they a ways away from communicating that to each other or even themselves, canonically (ffs ray's still waiting for the other shoe to drop AND not exactly serene re:Stella and fraser is so much reeling from the avalanche of finale happenings he can't see that and still hasn't fully learned the lesson about not being an island and I bet you my left hand they would be extremely unequipped for deciding where to go from there, so they'll definitely need the shiny quest liminality and then some to get it)

- I have so many questions: but mostly why are you both so blind arghh (and thank god for that, it's the driving force of my adoration and an endless exploration ground)

- they should go to therapy together: you know what, I really wouldn't mind. it'd be hilarious. but also didn't someone (speranza??) write a whole fic that takes it seriously that you recced and I keep putting off because I know it'll destroy me in ways both good and bad? because I can roll with that too

- I don't think THEY know what they have going on: again, thank god for that. they really don't. it's heartbreaking and adorable in equal measure.

- literally perfect, no notes: I say, after writing many notes. but now's the moment when I publicly admit they have a stronger grip on my mind than sam and dean do—at least currently, we'll see about the long run. because I'm mushy af even with my angst and miscommunication enjoyment and they're a dream come true for my sappy sappy heart.

- also, they could never do friends with benefits. they'd think they can, but no, they can't. it's a rock fact.

here, come, look at my embarrassing admissions!!! thanks for asking, I'm fucking dying to talk about them at all hours of the day.

#due south #fraser/rayk #tag games #fandom

[altschmerzes]

6, 12, and 18 for the fic writers ask game? no pressure tho, but thanks for sharing your world with us! <3

thank YOU!!! i greatly appreciate it. this is my 'i hit the halfway mark of the assignment i'm working on' treat, thank you for the opportunity :3

6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

OH I HOPE FOR THE BEST. my writing tends to ramp up with my business and stress levels which is really funny lmfao, and probably a sign that i'm gonna start churning stuff out again very soon. i try sometimes to have a consistent writing schedule but the rest of my life makes that very tough.

12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? 

constantly. i have Clinically Cannot Focus disorder. i mitigate this in a number of ways, depending on the flavour of Unable To Focus i'm dealing with. the first step is to check if i remembered to take my Juice What Gives Me An Attention Span. if i have, then i get up and do a physical chore and come back to it. sprinto on discord is also my saving grace - the community aspect as well as the very short time limit is extremely helpful. i also have a number of playlists that help cut down on my need to seek other outside stimulus, or i put something on tv for background noise.

18. what is your most and least favorite part of writing?

my most favourite is getting to finally share something and hear what people thought of it. that is THEE ultimate satisfaction to me, and why it is so much easier for me to write fanfic than my original work. it is endlessly rewarding to know that other people care about my silly little stories as much as i do. it really is. my LEAST favourite part is the part of my brain that likes to throw tomatoes at everything i write and insist it is silly and cringe and stupid and embarrassing and also i have no idea what i'm doing and never did. i am constantly wrestling with the part of me that thinks everything i write is bad and i was bad for wanting to write it, which!! i know is a familiar struggle, but is a struggle all the same. there's also the fact that i am constantly haunted by posts people make complaining about how He Would Not Say That and 'you're making your characters talk like they want an A in therapy' lmao, i am always like. hyperaware that i May Be Doing That and i don't want a snarky tumblr post written about me :').

help me reward myself with treats to get through my finals season by sending me things from this ask game list!

#ask box games #federaliszt #thank youuuuu #long post #writing liveblog #of a sorts #gav gab #gav answers

[ssreeder]

HELLO

I didnt see that there was an update until now and i dont feel like discording and i just read the new chapter so here i am with my few main points bc i dont feel like doing a full live reaction👍👍🫶

Seeing Jeeto come into play in any capacity at all makes me feel like a proud parent watching their children grow. Its always wonderful like those are my emotional support middle aged fictional men. I watched them go from conspiracy to getting crumbs to now their "dates" and gossiping together. Youve gotta love it. Those are my children. Im so proud of them. But im also scared because you killed shen so obviously my feeligns mean nothing to you 🙄😒😒. (Im never going to get over that, im going to be 80 years old in some pst apocolypic enviroment with horrors all around me, but im going to be having nightmares about shen. Ill send you my therapy bill) (im going to get a tattoo in his memory istg)

Also its always really subtle but its funny to see your specific linguistical patterns in liab esp because i can never really explain it. Like ill read a random sentence and be like 'yeah that seems like sreeder wrote it' i just think its neat.

I also really loved zukka this chapter. But i always lovr zukka so its not a surprise. But espesially this chapter because its mostly soft zukka.

"Do you think we will stay together" NO Zukko divorce 🔫🔫. 🙅🏻🔥🔥🔥🙅🏾

The 'moving forward' ness of zukka in liab is so nicely written. Like ive been reading liab since (almost) the beginning and it has been a ride and its starting to feel more conclusive and that is SCARY but its also nice because you write it very well and i adore the way you write trauma and the healing of it and the ups and downs and the two steps forward two steps backness. Its very lovely.

I knew ara was going to have a suicide attempt (esque situation (idk if that counts)) i called it i win.

Idc what others say ara will always be amazing. I love her character SO MUCH

i feel like you can always tell the strengths of a writer in the way they write complicated characters and the way you write ara is very telling of that. Like the fragility and also harshness used for her is very realistic and i always enjoy her parts so much.

Like her deciding to move on independant of how zuko or sokka feel about it is and regardless of whether people thinks she 'deserves it' is immaculate.

And thats a good example on your specific strengths as the author of liab (being able to handle delicate situations well, and realistically and make them very thought out and not rushed, stuff like that).

But her 'i need to start getting along with other girls' is great because like,, RHATS SO TRUE. she is genuienlly one of my favorite characters of all time, i could write essays on why i love her. Exquisite.

REHO MENTION 🥳🥳💪💪💪💪

Thats my emotional support woobified early 20 something year old man. I adore him. If 30 people love reho i am one of them, if one person loves reho i am them if 0 people love reho i am dead (rip rehoes 😔) i will defend his (and aras) good names until i die.

Amazing chapter as always 10/10 *chefs kiss* im so excited for the series to finish and see what you do with everyone and the rest of the storylines and such.

Every time I think of Shen’s death I think of your utter devastation & how I wasn’t expecting you to be so distraught over it. I will say I had another commenter lately who was talking about how much they liked Shen & wanted an Iroh/Shen/Zuko dynamic and I kept thinking…. Damn it buddy, you’re going to be soooo mad at me in a few chapter haha…. oops.

ugh my linguistic patterns haunt me and I specifically ask my betas to check for them because I feel sooooo repetitive sometimes especially when there’s a lot of introspection lol. So it’s funny you mentioned that lol.

Omg I remember when I was still on RIA & someone in the server was like “dude I’m rooting for some jeeto.” & I was like oh no how do they know??? I created this fun divide between hakoda and bato just to push Bato into Jees arm!! Don’t spoil it haha, but whatever at least Dentys dead

Awwww thanks for the compliments it means a lot coming from you <3 but also yeah Ara is my delicate dumpster fire who says she going to make her existence everyone’s problem (most importantly sokka because damn girl could just LEAVE but she refuses lol) I love it. She’s fun, and any scene with her expect utter chaos haha.

every time I write Reho in a scene my mind says and the crowd goes wild,,, he’s annoying but I’m glad you like him.

thanks for this amazing ask you’re awesome

#Haha maxxxxx you’re so funny #I am forever a fan of Ara and her ability to harass sokka while constantly saying she’s not going to harass sokka #Zuko: “I just…. Never want to see you again” #Ara: got it ok so I’ll go make friends with sokkas sister and hangout with the water tribe healers and suki and - #No wonder sokka starts foaming at the mouth every time he sees her #I still don’t think zuko has nearly as big of a problem with Ara as sokka does #I truly think she’s just “that bitch from prison” #& sokkas got like 43 fake scenarios saved in his head of how things could have been different or how he would get his revenge #Anywayyyyyy I like Ara she’s fun #& Katara deserves to have some fun! #Thanks for the ask max sorry it took me so long to answer I’m a loser I have no excuses #LIAB #leaving it all behind #ITF #ask #Maaaxx

[banamine-bananime]

preface: i was writing a list of my headcanons for funsies and got completely derailed with angsty grimmons shit that needs to be scooped out of that post because it’s stupid long. so here

grif worked in honolulu a couple years after hs graduation until kai was old enough (17) he felt he could leave. did a year at university before realizing he’s smart enough to be admitted to cornell but not to get the scholarship he realistically needs to not be in crushing debt on graduation, and also there’s not nearly enough regimentation to college life to prevent him from rotting in bed paralyzed by “oh my god i don’t have Responsibilities That Need To Be Done Right Now for the first time in forever and idk what to do now” and executive dysfunction. went through basic and stationed on the doomed outpost. That Whole Thing (a polite way of saying “sneaking off for a nap on duty, sleeping through a massacre, and waking up to find literally everyone else dead”) was the nail in the coffin that pretty much shot his last shred of motivation and hope to shit, and based on his behaviour and psych eval afterwards (best summarized as “learned helplessness that everything is shit always and he’s useless and never gonna be able to help anyone so 👍 fuck everything fuck everyone just try to eke some hedonistic joy out of life before you die”) he was reassigned to the sim soldiers.

meanwhile simmons tried to do university several times and had to drop out for mental health reasons (a very polite way of putting “rapid spiral into absolute disaster every time”. it leaves room for giving him the benefit of the doubt that this was a proactive “ah i should take care of myself and this is not working for me :) #selfcare #therapy” decision. this is not benefit of the doubt that anyone who knows him would extend.).

I go back and forth on whether to roll with the “that one throwaway line with a suspiciously specific hypothetical of being in a unit that was stranded and had to eat their dog to survive” thing or just say he was assigned straight to sim troopers. on the one hand, i really love grif and simmons having a parallel immensely traumatic first assignment that made them both Worse in kinda similar kinda opposite ways in line with the ways they were each already fucked up

(grif “life is inherently a garbage fire. i am useless. all i can do is look out for myself and save my own hide by absolute never trusting any authority, refusing to get attached to the other fuckers around here (they’d hate me anyways so just let them hate me), and obsessively hoarding any access to food and shelter and comfort because Maslow said I can’t work on health or belonging or esteem until i do :/ yeah i know, sorry, i’ve got a doctor’s note from him right here.” vs simmons “my life is a garbage fire probably because everyone around me is an idiot fucking something up but also because i’m not trying hard enough. i’m sure if i keep Performing The Maladaptive Behaviours even harder they will work and i THEN will feel respected and powerful and loved. you see you just have to keep repressing every feeling so you can suck up to anyone you detect a whiff of Authority Figure on no matter how little you actually respect them, and follow EVERY RULE and work and work and work. and you had better abandon any compunctions about things like eating a dog you loved or backstabbing a friend for brownie points from the CO who hates him or Literally Murdering your CO for a promotion. and if you ever stop desperately trying, fighting dirty looking out just for yourself, and instead just sit still for a moment and enjoy sincere zero-ulterior-motives connections with people, you will probably definitely immediately die of starvation or exposure (it is a metaphor you see. of exposure to the elements while stranded without resources. for the agonizing exposure of allowing yourself to be known.)”)

on the other hand i’m like whoa now. this boy’s got enough problems we really don’t need to be giving him any more or we’re really never gonna pry him free of the woobiefication fics.

#rvb #red vs blue #dexter grif #dick simmons #alexa send post #grif #simmons