#i am DYING at the story he posted
siakam a month ago
scottie commented on pascal's ig post again! and it was on a thirst trap 馃槒
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not to be outdone by his boyfie
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lavenderjewels 9 months ago
why did geto do so much of what he did in volume 0, it was hilarious but,
#like him announcing his plans and blatantly pointing out how gojo isn鈥檛 stopping him#did he actually mean for all the students to die or is gojo right at all in saying he trusted geto not to kill them?#did geto genuinely expect to win?? kenjaku said he could鈥檝e but kenjaku is also. smarter than geto when it comes to planning#feel like he had to hope to win with how he acted at yuuta#but it鈥檚 hard to tell if he was overconfident or just okay with taking a risk that could likely end with him dying#looking forward to seeing how the movie delves into everything really#some parts are a lot less fleshed out or slightly different from the main story#I don鈥檛 think geto has to change at all but if he doesn鈥檛 I hope there鈥檚 more on him and his family to connect more easily to the main story#the movie is either going to be mostly accurate with added fights/etc#or it could completely change since it was pre planning jjk#I am hoping for more of the Cult鈩笍 family since Laure is with Yuki in the main story and the rest appear in shibuya/various panels#there鈥檚 also the Kyoto students and Tokyo third years and yuutas technique training which could all possibly show up#it鈥檚 kinda fun this movie could be the vol 0 Gege would write if it was made post jjk starting#(saying this while not knowing how involved he is at all with details and plot or if he wants to change things)#jjk vol 0#posting this year so I can look back after vol 0 sorry to my 10 followers who have to see this#watch as my questions are directly answered in the chapters but I just forgot#it鈥檚 wild going from kenjakus major plan throughout the story then going to whatever getos plan was to win in vol 0#馃様 got beat up by a kid
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gaynazario 20 days ago
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this is my best friend in the whole wide world.
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ohoshi 7 months ago
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bmpmp3 a year ago
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THE OTHER DAY i remembered this one OC i had when i was like 10-14ish and got in the ZONE
he was a witch named Lucky and his whole deal is he was. painfully unlucky. unlucky to a physically dangerous degree. fatally unlucky. now that i think about it it would make sense if he was cursed or something but i dunno i didnt think about that when i was 10 asjfasjfhsuhrjefsd ANYWAY his personality was very chill and his peers and neighbours don鈥檛 regard him super highly (they think he鈥檚 a little lazy and also kind of dangerous to be around because of yknow. the luck thing) but he鈥檚 a very skilled witch, he鈥檚 weirdly calm about the constant almost dying tho. he likes to make lame jokes聽
he had a friend who was an angry little talking cat who could turn human and for some mysterious reason made it her mission to stop him from being killed by the forces of the universe. he doesn鈥檛 know her name (neither do i to be honest, i think...it was Echo? its gotta be echo mist or mystery those were my go-to cat OC names when i was 10) and she鈥檚 not his familiar or anything (she might be someone鈥檚 familiar, just not his) but it鈥檚 nice to have the company
#ocs#oc art#art#digital art#sketch#actually most of these were lined traditionally lol just coloured digitally#also sorry i keep disappearing for days and coming back with some random ocs i made when i was a kid#i am. remembering. i. am remembering.#originally these ocs were not in the same story AT FIRST when i made lucky he was. a warrior cats oc named luckyshadow sjdkafsfjd#he was essentially the same tho nobody liked him and he was dangerously unlucky lol personality was the same too#echo was my go to shapeshifter cat oc i put her in like every story i had at the time lol#but later when i turned lucky into like a normal human she just fit very well as a friend so now shes attached to this premise~#did i mention the time powers. did i mention echo's time powers.#last time i worked on these ocs when i was like 14-15 echo had time powers and reset the day every time lucky actually did die#it was like. the project diva mv for kagerou days in reverse#local cat loops time until you stop dying#i dont know if lucky knows about the time powers. hes smart so he's probably figured out somethings up jfksaksjgdfs#anyway i just got in the zone~ i like to make ocs and premises....that is what i like to do!!!!!!!!!!#now if only i would actually do something with them all. someday. someday.#for now. long posts with many pictures explaining their plotlines will have to do~#also sorry about these dudes outfits. usually i end up totally redesigning my old ocs entirely but i left the outfits here untouched#so they are kinda like. 10 year old who doesnt know or care about historical fashion school of design#although i mean. this isnt historical fiction so maybe its fine. maybe its fine if lucky kinda dresses like a 2013 hipster sexyman. maybe
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wigglebox a year ago
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horobiandstingscorpion a year ago
Random Writing Tidbit I Felt Like I Hadn鈥檛 Posted Writing In A While鈥
鈥 And I really crave validation right now. TT^TT
Also I remembered to post on this blog! ^^ Yay!
I鈥檓 just feeling very sensitive. ^^;
But this is an idea that鈥檚 been floating in my head since the SODA mag鈥 Sorta. It鈥檚 a little like a smooshed together preview of something I want to try and work on鈥 But I haven鈥檛 gotten very far w/ it, and I def want to work on my other chaptered stuff first.
Fuwa stared sourly at his face in the mirror, fumbling with the unnaturally sleek tie, trying to get it to stay in a knot for the umpteenth time. It was official, he hated silk, and he had no idea why he had agreed to go to this stupid gala, even for 鈥榮ecurity.鈥 He hated parties, rich people even more, and he really hated鈥 鈥楧ressing up.鈥 He鈥檇 been doing so well keeping his resolve鈥攗ntil Hiden had stared at him with that obnoxious, wide eyed, pleading look, and the next thing he knew, he鈥檇 been agreeing to let the kid procure a 鈥榮uitable suit鈥 (he鈥檇 thought his lungs were going to burst trying to hold it together at Zero-One鈥檚 stupid puns again), and setting up a time to show up. It was also an infuriatingly nice suit鈥攁ll three piece and silk and satin and designer. He didn鈥檛 like people buying things for him already (it had been a massive relief when he convinced Hiden to just rent it for him), and something this expensive鈥 He felt stiff and unnatural in it, not like himself at all. He felt鈥 He felt like Amatsu.
With another groan, he shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind and tried to focus on the tie again. He鈥檇 decided he might as well be as presentable as possible, so he鈥檇 taken great care to shower and brush out his hair, too鈥攂ut he couldn鈥檛 get the damn tie to stay. The smooth, shiny fabric refused to cooperate; he wasn鈥檛 used to dealing with it, and it always just came undone or was all crinkled because he pulled too hard. He was both running out of time, and missing his simple, cotton ties.
鈥淵ou鈥檝e been getting ready for two hours.鈥
He didn鈥檛 start as much as he would have before at the sound of a voice behind him, instead merely raising his gaze to look at the reflection of the figure standing in the doorway of his bedroom, one hand on the frame. Horobi wasn鈥檛 wearing either of his kimonos, just the shirt with the buttoned up collar, the fancy belt (or maybe it was technically a sash?), the usual flowing trousers and the ornamented boots鈥擣uwa felt slightly envious of him, especially because the HumaGear so rarely looked so casual. With a sigh, he scowled, dragging his eyes back down to the piece of cloth he was wrestling with. 鈥淭his is stupid thing is made to be unusable, I swear.鈥 He grumbled, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 understand why these are supposed to be 鈥榖etter.鈥欌
Horobi hummed softly鈥攁nd then his hand came down on Vulcan鈥檚 shoulder abruptly, having crossed the room as swiftly and silently as he often did when Fuwa wasn鈥檛 looking. Turning the human around to face him, he pulled Vulcan鈥檚 hands away from the tie, taking over the job. Fuwa bit his lip, dropping his arms to his sides and trying not to stare at the attractive frown on the HumaGear鈥檚 face as he worked, focused solely on the tie, motions quick and efficient鈥攁 stark contrast to Vulcan鈥檚 messy attempts.
In moments, Horobi had the tie perfectly done, taking a moment to straighten it before leaning back a bit to look Fuwa over. Vulcan took a deep breath, chewing his lip even more, one hand drifting up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. 鈥溾 Well?鈥 The HumaGear continued surveying him for another moment, still frowning slightly鈥攖hen he hooked his fingers into the loop of the tie, loosening it, before undoing the top two buttons of the shirt. 鈥淲ait, what are you-鈥 Horobi had already let go of his collar, reaching up rake fingers through his hair, mussing up all the work he had put into trying to get it to sit right. Fuwa stumbled back, hands flying up instinctively, though there was no way he could recreate the effect again with his fingers, 鈥淗ey!鈥
But then he properly looked at Horobi鈥檚 face, and his heart skipped. The HumaGear was gazing at him with a soft, actually鈥 Affectionate, expression, the very ghost of a smile flickering across his features. 鈥淣ow you look more like you.鈥
Fuwa鈥檚 face heated up immediately, and he swallowed, looking deliberately at a spot on the wall. 鈥溾 Oh.鈥
The next thing he knew, long fingers were curling under his chin, and Horobi turned his face forward again to plant a firm kiss on his lips, the HumaGear鈥檚 other arm slipping around his waist. Vulcan鈥檚 hands immediately floated down to Horobi鈥檚 hips, leaning forward into the kiss. Before, he鈥檇 always wondered why characters in movies kissed so much and for so long鈥攂ut now that he was in the habit of kissing Horobi鈥 It all suddenly made so much sense. He found himself thinking about the HumaGear鈥檚 lips during everyday activities, and whenever he started kissing him鈥 He never wanted to stop.
But far too soon, it was Horobi pulling away, the fingers tucked under his chin trailing across his cheek. 鈥溾 You鈥檙e going to be late.鈥
Fuwa shook his head slightly, wrapping his arms around Horobi鈥檚 middle, pulling him closer. 鈥淢mm鈥︹ He stood on his tip toes, trying recapture the HumaGear鈥檚 lips, 鈥淧arties are boring鈥︹ Horobi, however, kept moving back, untangling himself from the human鈥檚 arms, resisting Vulcan鈥檚 attempts to keep him there, 鈥淗orobi-鈥
The HumaGear鈥檚 palm landed on his chest, pushing him back. 鈥淵ou promised Hiden.鈥
Even if the reminder hadn鈥檛 shaken him out of the pleasant fog and back to reality, the slight shake in Horobi鈥檚 voice would have. Even after months of calm, still terrified of disappointing or upsetting Zero-One in any way鈥攖o a point that it was starting to be a concerning trend. But experience also told him now wasn鈥檛 the time to be pressing that issue鈥攁t the very least, they had made it here, able to be affectionate and鈥 Physical. Horobi was no longer panicking and trying to run from his own, more intense emotions, good or bad, scars from that incident finally healing鈥攕ome of them, at least.
For now, he just sighed deeply. 鈥溾 Right.鈥 He moved his hand to cover the HumaGear鈥檚, leaning forward again for another quick peck on the lips鈥攖hat, as usual, went on for longer than he鈥檇 originally intended, until he finally dragged himself away, giving Horobi鈥檚 hand a squeeze. 鈥淚鈥檒l come back to you, I promise.鈥
The HumaGear鈥檚 fingers ghosted back across his cheek, and when he leaned back in to press his forehead to Vulcan鈥檚 there was at least some mischief in his eyes, though the anxiety was still there. 鈥淒o,鈥 He whispered softly鈥攖hen his hand trailed slowly downward, running fingertips over the shirt collar, 鈥淭he sooner I get you out of this silly suit, the better.鈥 Fuwa promptly turned bright red, his heartbeat skyrocketing. Horobi merely smirked faintly, then freed his hand to gently cup Vulcan鈥檚 face in his palms; leaning in, his lips brushed lightly against the mole just below Fuwa鈥檚 left eye, prompting a soft, pleased sigh鈥攖hat turned disappointed when the HumaGear pulled away completely, fingertips lingering until the very last moment. 鈥淵ou need to leave.鈥
Vulcan swallowed, nodding, briefly patting his cheeks to try and get the blush out. Yua and Naki already teased him enough, he should not be showing up to a formal event looking like he was thinking about鈥 Taking a few deep breaths, he reluctantly stepped back and started to move around Horobi and toward the door.
The HumaGear鈥檚 hand connected with his backside without warning, prompting a yelp that was nowhere near as indignant as he would have liked. It wasn鈥檛 his fault鈥擧orobi had somehow managed to calculate an exact level of force that didn鈥檛 hurt at all, but was strong enough that Fuwa always felt it for the rest of the day. Vulcan didn鈥檛 know if he was more embarrassed by the fact that he was now definitely going to be thinking about that slap and what usually followed鈥攐r by how much he liked it in the first place.
Biting hard at his cheek, he did his best to give Horobi a disapproving look, that was severely marred by the fact that his face had gone even redder. The HumaGear raised an eyebrow, smirking more visibly鈥攂ut Fuwa had gotten good enough at reading him that he could detect a front when he saw one. Horobi didn鈥檛 let him have a chance to snap, giving him an even more suggestive look. 鈥淚 may have to amend my analysis鈥︹ Another touch ghosted over his backside, and even just that sent a jolt through him, 鈥溾 The pants actually aren鈥檛 that bad.鈥 The faintest of chuckles, and a firm pat that actually made him shiver slightly. 鈥溾 Though鈥 Maybe it鈥檚 just you.鈥
He was certain the HumaGear was half trying to tease him into rushing out, and half genuinely flirting in the way of putting a carrot in front of a donkey鈥攈e could make it through a dreary society gala if it meant coming back to Horobi鈥檚 arms for a more鈥 Exciting night. The HumaGear was also not excessively panicking about Hiden being angry yet, like he had a few times before, like Vulcan had been worried he might. Taking advantage of Fuwa鈥檚 more鈥 Embarrassing reactions aside鈥 This was major progress. So instead of arguing, he just gave another attempt at looking judgemental and marched out, resisting the urge to look back.
I miss them so much. :(
I dunno why there are so many emoticons in this post.
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equalseleventhirds 2 years ago
babiest ashmedai... and little ash began studying with the angel bcos he wanted to be Annoying and Patronizing... this is so good...
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nerice 3 years ago
*with my dying breath* d.......deepgate............
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lilabeans 8 months ago
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generalstarkov 5 months ago
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聽special thanks to @sanktnikolais 鈥 for editing my messy thoughts, i adore you
聽 As a Colombian woman, it really warms my heart to see how many people are loving Encanto鈥攁ll the positive reactions and the praise the movie has received not only from the critics but from the audience in general make me happy beyond measure. I, as well as pretty much everyone in this country, have always resented the negative representation we have had in the media.聽
聽 For instance, "Narcos" is one of the best examples of this hurtful representation that continues to profit from some of the darkest moments of recent history, events that we all would like to bury in the past.
聽 Nonetheless, the discourse I have seen about Encanto, especially on Tumblr, has disappointed me greatly. Most people have focused on coming out with headcanons about the characters' sexuality and gender, or writing Camilo x reader fics (do you realize he鈥檚 a teenager? please stop) shifting completely the real focus of the movie. Listen, I am not going to tell anyone what to do or to gatekeep these characters. The fact that you think Isabela is a lesbian doesn't bother me; what I'd really like to remind people of, specially queer white folks, is that this movie isn't for you.聽
聽 This movie was made first and foremost for Colombians and Latinos. Therefore, when a movie like Encanto, which excels in every aspect and has finally given us the representation that we have been dying for, gets its every valuable aspect outshone by these woke and for the most part ridiculous takes (Bruno is autistic bc the knock on wood thing? Tell me you are white without telling me you are white.)聽 It is expected that people like me won't feel happy.聽聽
聽 That being said, in this post I want to tell you about the amazing job Disney made at representing the armed conflict in my country and what this representation and the song "Dos Oruguitas" mean for Colombian people.
聽 As expected, when Disney announced Encanto as its 60th animated movie there were two kinds of people: the ones鈥攊ncluding me鈥攚ho couldn't contain our excitement and decided to trust Disney and cross fingers while saying "please don't mess this up"; and the ones who were convinced this would be a silly and stereotypical movie with zero to none cultural accuracy.
聽 I still remember waking up very early the day the first trailer was set to be released and waiting impatiently the whole morning, until it was finally there after two years of waiting, and I couldn't contain the tears. The trailer broke down Colombian twitter, everyone was posting threads with all the references to our culture, the animals, the plants, the clothing, the food, the real places who inspired the movie. Disney had finally done it right this time.
聽 And yet still, some people weren't content. 鈥淭his isn't Colombia," they would say. 鈥淭hey aren't showing our long history with war and violence..."
聽 This, of course, pissed me off deeply because for the first time we had something to feel proud of, something to show to the world that allowed us to say "this is who we truly are", they expected a war documentary from a children's movie. It was very clear and widely accepted that this movie wouldn't include any references to our violent past and present and that we all should be fine with it, because there are other types of content in which we can explore that on a deeper level; but to everyone's surprise, we were wrong.
聽 Encanto opens up with Abuela telling Mirabel the story of the family's miracle. I saw the movie the day it premiered in my country, I can't remember seeing the cinema so full of people since Avengers Endgame. When Abuela explains how she and abuelo Pedro were forced to flee their home, everyone stopped talking. I'm sure we were all thinking, "Is this really happening? Did Disney just address one of the most painful events of this country?"聽
聽 And the answer is yes. For the first time Disney decided to reference real life conflicts and not just any conflict, and I can't think of any different or better approach from the one the Encanto team chose.
聽 The armed conflict in Colombia
聽 I am aware that explaining a 70-year conflict in a Tumblr post is extremely difficult, even more to people who aren't citizens of this country. For this reason, I will try to oversimplify things as much as I can to get to the main point of this post. However, I will link some sources in case you want to do your own research, which I encourage you to do.
聽 Over the last 70 years, Colombia has been devastated by the armed conflict. I am absolutely sure that there's no one in this country whose life hasn't been affected in one way or another by it, me and my family included. The Registro 脷nico de V铆ctimas (RUV) recognizes 9 million people as victims of the different violent incidents that have taken place during the war. This number includes murders, enforced disappearances, kindappings, sexual assaults, massacres, terrorist attacks, tortures, forced recruitments, among other forms of violence. According to El Centro Nacional de Memoria Hist贸rica, between 1958 and 2018, 261.919 thousand people were murdered in the context of the armed conflict.聽
聽 This is how it started: Violent times in Colombia go back in time as far as 200 years ago, when members of the liberal and conservative parties began hostilities. Most people think that tracing the conflict to the 19th century is an exaggeration, but the truth is that the bipartisan violence never ended, it only shapeshifted and continues to nourish all the future conflict the country would face.
聽 In 1948, Jorge Eli茅cer Gait谩n, the liberal presidential candidante, and the most popular among the people was murdered in the capital. This was a breaking point in history that was followed by a wave of violence that quickly spread to the whole country and lasted until the end of the 50s. This period is known as "La Violencia''.
聽 During this time, a group of peasants of liberal tendencies who had fought during "La Violencia'' and had been forced to flee their homes, settled in Marquetalia with their families, and founded "a free republic" with no loyalty whatsoever to the current government. By 1964 they had a considerable armed force and political power and already had rejected demobilization. As a consequence, the army attacked their settlements, forcing them to flee once more.聽
聽 This, of course, had the opposite effect since two years later, the FARC (Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia) were created; the biggest guerilla in Colombia and the principal assailants of the armed conflict. A product of its time, the FARC - the cold war and revolutionary movements in Latin America - they adopted the communist ideology.
聽 At the same time and inspired the Cuban Revolution, the Ej茅rcito de Liberaci贸n Nacional (ELN) is also established, Years later, other guerillas such as The Ej茅rcito Popular de Liberaci贸n (EPL), the M-19 would also take part in the conflict.
聽 Around the 80s, the FARC had the objective to take over the government. Simultaneously, the ultra right wing, the army, politicians, landowners and even drug traffickers supported the creation of paramilitary units to fight the FARC and other guerrillas. As expected, this only deepened the violence because the paramilitaries fought the guerrillas but along the way they started murdering people in the country side and social leaders. These events coincide with the peak of drug trafficking in Colombia, which brought more harsh attacks against the people of this country but also money that at some point helped finance both groups.
聽 From that moment on, war has worsened. Think of any violation against human rights and for sure it has been registered during these past 70 years . The majority of victims were civilians, men, women, and children of all ages were murdered, kindapped, raped, conscripted.聽
No one was spared.聽
聽 Even after a peace treaty was signed between the government and the FARC, violence does not seem to stop. It is a combination of inequality, corruption, government neglect, a bad distribution of wealth, social injustice and drug trafficking, who continues to finance this very profitable business called war.
How is all of this related to Encanto?
聽 聽One of the most devastating consequences of war is forced displacement. As I mentioned above, the majority of victims were civilians鈥攕pecifically from the countryside, the zones the government has neglected for decades鈥攚ho found themselves in the middle of the relentless violence; they had no choice but to flee their homes leaving all their belongings, their lives behind them except for what they could carry in their backs or hands.聽
聽 They ran away because they were afraid they would be killed if they didn't, they ran away because their home had become a war zone. They ran away because they were afraid the guerrillas would take their children.聽
聽 Some of them are 鈥渓ucky鈥 if you can call that luck, and they can leave before war knocked on their door, while some families weren鈥檛. They didn鈥檛 always have a chance to escape. Most of them had seen their husbands, fathers, brothers and sons being killed or tortured in front of their eyes; their wives, daughters, and sisters sexually assaulted. Sometimes they even took one of their relatives and then it was certain they will never know what has become of them.
聽 This is the wounding reality of this country. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it would have been impossible鈥攅ven ridiculous鈥攊f Encanto prided itself on being true to Colombian culture if it hadn't included any reference to the armed conflict. No matter how traumatic and shattering this part of our reality is, it is still ours.聽
聽 The story of Abuela Alma, a woman who had to flee her home in the middle of the night, with her children in her arms, a wife who saw her husband murdered in front of her eyes. She had to hold on to whatever strength was left inside of her to wake up day after day to raise three children and somehow try to come to terms to the traumatic events that forever changed her is not something that belongs in fiction. The scene when Alma falls down, powerless and helpless as her husband's life is brutally ended in front of her and their children, isn鈥檛 there because its purpose is to generate an emotional response in the audience. It is there because it has to be, because it is time the world knows what this country has endured.聽聽
聽 This is the story of thousands of mothers, wives, sisters, daughters and all the strong women who somehow have been resilient enough to keep living after having suffered the unspeakable. The generational trauma in the family Madrigal is the heart of this film as much as it is their unconditional and enduring love for each other, as much as it is our music and our vibrant colors, as much as it is our grief but also our resilience.聽
聽 Disney understood why it was vital to represent all of this in Encanto, and that鈥檚 why I cannot just sit here and watch how most people erase the heart of this film, you do not get the right to do it.
Dos Oruguitas
聽 I love my country.聽
聽 I love my country and I am proud of this blessed land, the second most biodiverse country on earth.聽
聽 I am proud of our culture, our music, our food, our diversity and all the beautiful details that make us who we are.聽
聽 I am proud of all the things you got to see and love in Encanto but I won鈥檛 lie and say living in the country is the most mesmerizing experience.聽
聽 Colombia is the second most unequal country in Latin America, the health care system is a disaster, corruption reaches ridiculous standards, people get killed for defending their rights, there are no jobs, not enough opportunities for real progress, and we have one of the most devalued currencies in the region鈥攁ll of that in the eyes of a government who couldn鈥檛 care less about the citizens of this country.聽
聽 In addition to that and as I mentioned in the first lines of this post, there is no one whose life hasn鈥檛 been affected by war and violence. I can count myself lucky, my whole life I have lived in the city, and never got to endure what people in the countryside have gone through. But during the peak of drug trafficking war, when Pablx Escxbar would set car bombs in the cities every now and then, when people were too afraid to set a foot out of their houses, I almost lost my aunt and my dad鈥攈e almost died from being crushed by a wall when a car bomb exploded in front of his workplace, and then I wouldn鈥檛 be here, writing this post.
We constantly wake up with news of a new massacre somewhere in the countryside and some days it is really hard to find a reason to smile. I won鈥檛 pretend a Disney movie can solve all these problems because it really doesn鈥檛. But in the middle of all these tragic events, it gives us鈥攎e鈥攁 reason to smile.聽
聽 The Encanto soundtrack was released before the movie, I had heard they were pushing Dos Oruguitas for the academy award for best original song so that was the first song I listened to. I couldn鈥檛 stop crying. And even before knowing what scene it would accompany, this song felt like a gift, like a warm embrace that brings hope for a country that needs it desperately and for my people who remain strong and resilient in spite of it all, a country who dares to dream of a better tomorrow.
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p.s 1: If you read this far, you are amazing and i love you聽
p.s 2: When Abuela Alma and Mirabel embrace they are surrounded by yellow butterflies, this is a reference to our nobel prize winner Gabriel Garcia Marquez and his novel 鈥淥ne hundred years of solitude鈥.
In case you want to read more about the armed conflict:
A more detailed explanation of the armed conflict in Colombia
If you are a spanish speaker, La Comisi贸n de la Verdad released this podcast where victims of the armed conflict tell their stories
An amazing documentary by DW about what has happened in my country after the peace treaty with the FARC:聽
Some pictures by Jes煤s Abad Colorado, a photographer who has dedicaded his life to accompany the victims and their grief. The pictures are in black and white, and while they don鈥檛 include blood, they could be somewhat sensitive for some people.聽聽
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ziauhh a month ago
My void Journey
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Hello my Hottie bitches, so you all have been requesting me so much for my void success story so here i am with my Badass success mf hope y'all gonna enjoy 鈾
Now i was like you guys before i entered the void i would always be looking at succes stories, keep finding more n more void motivation asking Loa bloggers asks etc until i realised till when i am trying to do all this till when i will depend on others, if i keep making excuses then i am better dying like this so i got my shit together and head off towards the VOID 馃挬
How i entered the void:
I laid down and relaxed my body
I cleared my mind with a meditation
Then i started to affirm " I AM VOID"
Now within a few minutes i got the floating feeling my whole body got numb i couldn't feel anything and then i felt like something is consuming me like i am going into a black hole i knew i was so close to the void so i kept affirming and within a few seconds I WAS IN VOID so i affirmed for all my desires i used blanket affirmations like " I have all my desires, i have all my desires from my notes app etc" then i relaxed there for a bit and said i am out of void and so i was. But the feeling i got after coming from void was so different because i knew i got all my desires, THEY ARE MINE PERIODT damn and then i fell asleep.
My experience of waking up with my desires:
So my alarm rang at around 7 a.m, so i took my phone to turn it off but then i was like wait is this my phone i checked on the phone and it was fucking IPHONE 13 PRO MAX in Black then realisation hit me and i was like 馃拃 WTF i manifested my dream life although i wasn't shocked because i shifted to a reality where i always had this but it was still crazy, then i turned on the internet and notification started blowing on my phone 馃槺 I checked on my insta and scrolled over to see my posts and then another realisation hit me when i saw my own damn pics like it was my db and df LMFAO i was looking so stunning like a fucking Goddess 馃憖, so i ran up towards my bathroom to see myself in the mirror and i can't believe THIS IS ME THIS GORGEOUS LADY IS MEEEEE : ) then another realisation hit me when i saw my bathroom it was so luxury i can't so i checked up everything in my room after then, my closet which has all my clothes from the pinterest board IMAO and each and every corner of my room was how exactly i wanted it to be, then i again came back to my bed and saw a Good morning message i checked it out and it was from a mf hot guy 馃槼 he was so hot and handsome and guess what he is my Bestie 馃槶 ( soon to be boiifriend 馃檶) i was literally drooling over him all this time we talked for half an hour and then i heard my mom calling me for breakfast so i went down to have breaky but i was too stunned to speak not only because of the view of the house but also seeing that my parents and my brother looks so much different they all looked like Rich asses dipped in some gold IMAO i thought it was all a dream 馃槶 like how can i end up having all this but IT'S THE FREAKING REALITY, anyways then i took a nice shower chose a pretty dress from my closet and watched some Netflix ( i am a trendy whore ) then in the eve i went out with my friends for shopping we clicked a lot of pics and hung out it was so fun. It was the best day of my life i have never experienced that before. I never thought that there would be something like void which would change my life completely. Everything is so mesmerizing i can't i am literally gonna cry but i have to say I LOVE MY FREAKING LIFE NOW BECAUSE THIS. IS. WHAT. I. DESERVE 馃槶馃挄
What all i manifested:
Waking up in a whole ass mansion
Luxury cars
50k in my bank every 24 hour
Rich ass parents
Desire face & body
Being smart af
All past grades to straight A's
Iphone 13 pro max
Other apple products
Best school life
Everyones crush
A guy bestie ( soon to be boiifriend )
And so much more ........ 馃檶
I will share my Video/picture proofs with y'all of all my desires soon don't you worry but idfk when maybe after few days or weeks maybe when i think it's time to share but don't brag on my asks saying when are you sharing it i will but when i want.
PS: Will share my real insta id too @
Yeah that's the end i hope you liked it sexies 馃憖馃挏
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XoXo : )
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watchmegetobsessed 5 months ago
A/N: i am so excited to post this fic, because it is a collab with @harrysfolklore !! it means that the story has a pair over on her blog, a blurb that features the instagram posts included in this fic! head over to her blog and check out her blurb as well!!
PAIRING: Harry Styles X Famous!Reader
SUMMARY: You're in a PR relationship with your long time friend, Pete Davidson. Hosting SNL along with Harry as the musical guest, you are hoping your fake relationship will spark some jealousy in the british singer you've been crushing on forever.
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鈥淭here, it鈥檚 out,鈥 you grin at your phone, placing it to the coffee table, knowing well your socials are blowing up at the moment like never before, but that鈥檚 exactly what you wanted.
鈥淗ave I told you lately how crazy you actually are?鈥 Pete laughs, sprawled out on your couch as if it was his home, but in a sense it鈥檚 him as well. Having been friends for over a decade, he comes and goes in your house like he owns it and you do the same at his. There鈥檚 no taboo in your friendship at this point. That鈥檚 why you asked him to be your PR boyfriend for a couple of weeks, at top two months.
鈥淯m, excuse me? Is that how you talk to your girlfriend?鈥 you ask pretending to be hurt, but he then pretends to throw up so you throw a pillow at him laughing.
鈥淪top abusing me, I鈥檓 helping you!鈥 he protests, but can鈥檛 hold his laughter back as he grabs another pillow and attacks you with it.
He really is helping you in a lot of senses. Your PR team has been in your ass all month to get you to do something that would bring you attention with your upcoming SNL hosting and your next movie鈥檚 premier. You never liked these fake deals, but they do help with the attention, people go crazy for these stunts and most of the time they don鈥檛 even realize it鈥檚 not real. Like the time you were papped moving out of your exboyfriend鈥檚 place just weeks before the release of one of your movies when you were still happily living with him, or the time someone 鈥渓eaked鈥 some personal photos of you when your movie needed more attention, but of course, you handpicked all the photos from your own phone. The same is happening now with you and Pete pretending to be a couple, your fans have been wanting to see the two of you together for the longest, because apparently, there is no true friendship between a man and a woman.
But they don鈥檛 have to know that and they are getting what they want now, just in time before you鈥檒l be the next host on SNL with the musical guest as Adele. Then in a month, your new Netflix movie premiers, you鈥檒l parade on the red carpet with your best guy friend, act like a couple and have a blast, just to announce your break up not much after. It will play out perfectly, though you have something else planned with your fake relationship.
Nothing gets a guy鈥檚 attention more than jealousy. While the world has been dying to see you with Pete, you鈥檝e had your eyes on someone else. And that man is Harry Styles.
You religiously believe that there is no woman on this Earth who doesn鈥檛 have a crush on him. It just seems impossible. You remember watching videos of One Direction when they were still going strong together and you couldn鈥檛 take your eyes off of that one curly haired member with the pretty green eyes.
When you first started running in the same circles as him once you had your break through, you were on the edge to finally meet him at a party, an award show or practically anywhere. And then it finally happened, at the most iconic place, the MET Gala.
You still remember how his hand wrapped around yours when he introduced himself, the way he repeated your name when you said it, testing it out on his tongue, you were about to faint in the middle of the whole event. That would have definitely made headlines: 鈥淵oung actress falls unconscious upon meeting Harry Styles.鈥
You ran into him a few times throughout the evening, but because he was one of the hosts, you couldn鈥檛 have him for as long as you wished. A few small talks, even a photo taken together and you went home with his smile stuck in your head, graved into your memories forever.
Since then, you have crossed paths a few times, but it never seemed like he wanted anything more than just a friendly relationship in the business, while you were crushing on him like a lovesick middleschooler since day one.
With this PR relationship, you are hoping to get him jealous enough to change all of that and get his attention. Is that petty and childish? Definitely, but you couldn鈥檛 come up with a better plan.
鈥淵ou think Boyband will now take an interest in you?鈥 Pete asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. He reaches for his beer from the coffee table as you cross your legs and hug the pillow he threw at you. He鈥檚 been calling Harry Boyband ever since you told him about your little crush on him and you know him better than to try to get him to stop doing it. He is too stubborn so you鈥檙e just living with it.
鈥淚f not, I鈥檒l just jump at him next time I see him somewhere,鈥 you scoff joking.
鈥淧ublic sex, nice!鈥 Peter grins and you just roll your eyes, grabbing your phone from the table. Opening up Instagram, you are pleased to see that people are going nuts about your post with your new beau. You scroll down the comments and like a few ones, replying to what some of your friends wrote and then close the app, letting them process the news, hoping that one particular British singer has seen the picture as well.
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It鈥檚 been a week since you鈥檝e started dating Pete and things have been going well. You鈥檝e been doing the same thing you always do, grabbing lunch together, going shopping and hanging out, only this time you hold hands on the street and he kisses you sometimes, no big deal.
You鈥檙e not freaking out about it, because it鈥檚 not the first time. Years ago, you both got drunk and ended up having sex, but it was awful and awkward, at one point, you couldn鈥檛 stop laughing. You both promised then and there that it will never happen again and you knew that neither of you could look at the other one as more than just a friend. There was no chance any of you would catch feelings and a kiss on the lips is not the end of the world, you think of it as just another gig, a movie where you have to kiss someone you are not actually dating.
Your SNL promo pic went out a few days ago along with the announcement of you hosting. To say you鈥檙e pumped to be on the show is an understatement, it鈥檚 been a dream of yours for so long. Pete always told you he could get you an episode, but you told him not to. You wanted them to ask you, to want you because you were good enough and not because you knew Pete. The day has finally come!
What was weird is that you saw nothing about the musical guest. The announcement should have happened along with yours, but it鈥檚 been radio silence in that department.
You鈥檙e at Pete鈥檚 place when the announcement finally happens, but it鈥檚 not at all what you were expecting.
鈥淗ey, you didn鈥檛 tell me Boyband is gonna be the musical guest in your episode,鈥 Pete casually throws it in when you鈥檙e making dinner in the kitchen. He is sitting on the counter while you鈥檙e cutting the vegetables. The knife falls from your hand and you turn to him with a puzzled look.
鈥淲hat the fuck are you talking about?鈥
He looks at you as if you had two heads, but you have no idea where he is coming from.
鈥淵our little lover, he is gonna be the musical guest on the show. You didn鈥檛 know?鈥
鈥淵ou think I would be this calm if it was the case?鈥 you snap at him throwing your hands into the air. You love him, but he could be so stupid sometimes.
Pete shrugs and then turns his phone to show you the screen. Your heart drops when you see the SNL promo picture of him, posted to his Instagram, announcing that he鈥檒l be performing at the next episode. Your episode.
鈥淧ete, you鈥檙e on the show, why didn鈥檛 you tell me?!鈥 you growls at him, checking if there are more posts, but it鈥檚 just this one so far.
鈥淵ou think I pay attention at the meetings? I go there for the free food,鈥 he grins, taking his phone back, snatching it out of your hands.
鈥淲hat happened to Adele? Why didn鈥檛 they tell me about the change?鈥 you throw around all your questions, still unable to process. You鈥檙e going to be on SNL with Harry Styles, your biggest crush ever.
鈥淭his is going to be your time! You can jump his bones on live TV!鈥 Pete teases you, but you throw some carrots you just put at him.
鈥淚 think I鈥檓 gonna throw up. Like, actually.鈥
鈥淧lease don鈥檛 do that in my kitchen,鈥 he grimaces. He is definitely not getting how serious this is. You won鈥檛 be just having quick little chats with Harry, you鈥檒l be working with him on a full episode.
This is going to be your chance.
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Harry is not big on using socials. He used to be, keeping full control of his Instagram, posting whatever he felt like when he was still in the band, but not so much in the past years. The photos going out on his page are usually posted by someone from his team, several people have access to the account and they make sure his profile is well-kept and professional.
However he still likes to snoop around on others鈥 profile.
From time to time he checks what鈥檚 been happening online, likes the pictures his friends posted and if he is feeling like it, he even comments on some of them, though this latter is a rare occasion.
He is having a late lunch at home when he decides to open Instagram and have a look at the buzz online. His promo picture for SNL went out just yesterday, he had to step in for Adele because she got the flu and she knew she wouldn鈥檛 be able to perform the way she wanted. Adele suggested Harry herself for the team on SNL and everyone loved the idea to have him on the show. A few calls later, it was all fixed and done.
And the most exciting part of it? That you鈥檒l be the host, meaning that he gets to work with you.
Harry has been crushing on you since the first time he saw you acting in a romcom. He remembers seeing it with a few friends ages ago, you were a lot younger, playing a teenager and you might have been one at the time as well. He was in his early days with One Directions, very young and eagerly looking for his role in the world.
The movie was some no name, random film that didn鈥檛 really got too popular at the time, your break through came just a few years after that, but even in the terrible old movie, he couldn鈥檛 take his eyes off of you.
Secretly, he followed your career all along. He has been your number one fan since the beginning and kept an eye on you at all times.
The first time he actually met you at the MET he was shitting his pants, to say the least. He knew you鈥檇 be there and when he was you in your custom gown, looking more gorgeous than ever, he felt like a nervous little boy, his palms were sweating and he thinks he talked a bunch of nonsense whenever he met you throughout the night. He was completely enamored by you and also so starstruck that he couldn鈥檛 even get himself to try to shoot his shots.
He felt like you were totally out of his league.
With you on his mind he wanders over to your page now as well. From time to time he likes to check what you鈥檝e been up to and he loves your daring style in real life and on your social media profiles as well. You ooze confidence, giving away the biggest girl boss vibes.
You never disappoint him with your posts, but this time his stomach drops upon seeing your latest pictures.
One of them is not that big of a surprise, your SNL promo picture is looking as wonderful as he would have expected, but the photo posted before that is what knocks the breath out of his lungs.
You look as breathtakingly beautiful as always, but you鈥檙e not the only one in the photo. Pete Davidson is right there beside you and though Harry knows you鈥檝e been friends with him for a long time, this picture is not a friendly one, especially with the caption underneath.
It鈥檚 a post that makes your relationship with him official. You are dating Pete Davidson.
鈥淔uck,鈥 he growls, feeling like he has lost all hope to shoot his shots with you now that you鈥檒l be working together. You even left a comment on his SNL post and it got his hopes high that this time he might not chicken out and make a movie. Well, that goes out the window now.
He is quick to fall down the rabbit hole, checking out more photos of the two of you, grabbing lunch together, getting caught leaving each other鈥檚 place and even kissing at a caf茅. The bitter taste in his mouth just gets stronger with each photo he digs up from the internet, especially because fans are praising the new power couple.
He could throw a tantrum, jealousy is rushing through his veins right now.
Snooping around at an update account dedicated to you, he sees the latest picture of the two of you leaving some kind of event, it鈥檚 two pictures cut next to each other of you and Pete, so you didn鈥檛 leave side by side, but it鈥檚 obvious that you were together. His hand fists as he reads the comments and keeps zooming into the picture, loving the way you looked but hating that you were with another man.
And before he could stop himself, he likes the post.
鈥淥h shit,鈥 he gasps and almost immediately takes it back, hoping no one caught the mistake, but then he changes his mind.
It鈥檚 just a like, he tells himself. You might never even find out about it. Not that big of a deal.
But you do find out about it. Because just a few hours after the like, screenshots spread around the internet highlighting Harry鈥檚 username in the list of people who like the post and one of these screenshots make it to Pete, who of course, sends it over to you right away.
PETE: Boyband has been stalking you ;)
PETE has sent an attachment
You open the picture he sent you and your mouth hangs open seeing Harry鈥檚 user circled in red, impossible to miss. But just to make sure it鈥檚 real, you look for the account yourself and opening the post you realize that it鈥檚 really there. He liked the paparazzi photos of you and Pete.
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You have not had a private moment with Harry and you鈥檝e been working on the episode for days. Okay, you don鈥檛 actually have much to do together since he only acts in one of the skits while you have to do three pre-recorded scenes and rehearse for three live ones along with your monologue, but you were expecting to see more of him.
The first meeting however was interesting. It was both awkward and funny, because you were wearing your costume for the skit but he was still in his own clothes and he couldn鈥檛 stop laughing at your wig.
鈥淵ou look great,鈥 he said, trying to hold his laughter back but he miserably failed. You play a mother in the skit, Pete is going to be your husband and your teenage daughter brings home her first boyfriend, but it turns out she is dating a badboy, aka Harry. He will burst into the room confessing his love for the daughter and then tries to charm you and Pete so you鈥檒l let him date your little girl. You know it鈥檚 going to be a fun scene and you can鈥檛 wait for it to air.
All through rehearsals, you were catching him staring at you, your eyes meeting way more often than what you鈥檇 consider normal and he was especially observant when Pete was around you.
You sat through his rehearsals for his songs and were blown away by his talent of course. You wish you had time to actually talk to him after that, but you were dragged away before he could even come off the stage.
Now it鈥檚 the day of the show and on top of having your usual jitters because of being on live TV, you can鈥檛 stop acting like an awkward middleschooler around Harry. SNL just posted a picture of the two of you on Instagram just a few hours ago and now that you鈥檙e sitting outside the building with Pete, having a late lunch, you can鈥檛 help but scroll through the comments.
鈥淓veryone thinks we look great together,鈥 you sigh dreamily.
鈥淚 know, people have been shipping us forever,鈥 he shrugs, thinking that you鈥檙e referring to him and you.
鈥淣o, I mean Harry and I. Look!鈥 You hand him over your phone and he reads a few of the comments before giving it back to you.
鈥淪o now that you鈥檙e dating me, they want you to date him? I鈥檓 being thrown away!鈥 he scoffs dramatically, but you just bump your shoulder against his as you lock your phone and go back to your sandwich that you鈥檝e been trying to push down.
鈥淚 wish he thought the same way as the commenters.鈥
鈥淢aybe he is in his dressing room right now, obsessing over the picture like you are. Or maybe he already has it printed and framed!鈥 he teases you and you can鈥檛 help but laugh too.
鈥淚 will definitely have that picture framed,鈥 you snort.
鈥淚 know. I know how crazy you are, so it鈥檚 not a surprise.鈥
鈥淪hut up,鈥 you giggle, not taking anything he says seriously. It鈥檚 a nice, peaceful moment before the madness settles in.
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Your dressing room鈥檚 door flies open and you don鈥檛 even have to look there to know it鈥檚 Pete who just barged in.
鈥淚t鈥檚 shot time!鈥 he announces, kicking the door closed, a bottle of tequila in his hands with three shot glasses. You finish applying your lipgloss and give him a puzzled look.
鈥淭hree glasses?鈥
Pete just grins at you knowingly and just right then, there鈥檚 a knock on the door and he calls out to the person on the other side.
鈥淐ome in, dude!鈥
The door opens again and Harry walks in, your mouth hanging open but you鈥檙e quick to mask your surprise. He looks gorgeous in his custom Gucci suit, of course, his hair done in a nice blowout, something you haven鈥檛 really seen on him and he is smirking at you playfully as he closes the door behind him.
鈥淚s this where the before party is at?鈥
鈥淵eah! Come on, we鈥檙e gonna have some liquid courage, we all could use some,鈥 Pete grins as he fills the three glasses and hands one to everyone.
鈥淣o salt and lemon?鈥 you ask.
鈥淒on鈥檛 be a pussy, we don鈥檛 do shit like that here. Just drink it, babe,鈥 he grins and you fight the urge to roll your eyes at him.
The glasses meet in the middle, all three of you singing cheers!, your eyes meeting Harry鈥檚 as you all down the shots. The alcohol burns down your throat and you can鈥檛 push down a grimace at the taste of it, that lemon would have been nice to wash it out of your mouth.
鈥淥h shit, I鈥檝e gotta run. See you guys in a bit!鈥 Pete exclaims, totally just pretending to be in a rush, he even winks at you from behind Harry before running out of the room and leaving the two of you alone.
鈥淪o, we haven鈥檛 really had too many chances to talk all week, huh?鈥 you start the conversation.
鈥淚t鈥檚 been crazy, yeah. But I鈥檓 glad we are finally in the same room without anyone trying to drag one of us away,鈥 he chuckles. 鈥淵ou look gorgeous, by the way.鈥
鈥淥h, thank you,鈥 you smile, feeling your cheeks heating up, but it鈥檚 just the shot, right? 鈥淵ou look great too. But you always do.鈥
鈥淚s that so?鈥 he arches an eyebrow at you.
鈥淲ell, obviously,鈥 you huff and you start to feel nervous under his intent gaze. Is this his normal? Does he stare at everyone like this? Like he wants to devour them? Or is it just you?
Clearing your throat you grab the bottle of tequila feeling like you could use some more.
鈥淎nother one?鈥 you smirk at him holding the bottle up.
鈥淎re you sure it鈥檚 wise to get drunk before going live?鈥 he chuckles, but doesn鈥檛 protest when you fill two of the glasses, Pete鈥檚 staying empty this time.
鈥淭wo shots is nothing,鈥 you shrug and hand him one of them. 鈥淐heers to us being on SNL!鈥 you grin, clinking your glass to his.
鈥淵eah, cheers to us,鈥 he smirks before downing the shot and you heart skips a beat as you do the same.
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鈥淲elcome! And thank you!鈥 you smile around as the audience cheers when you walk out, the cameras rolling. The tight dress you鈥檙e wearing is stunning and you feel great in your skin, but maybe it has something to do with the shots you had not long ago.
鈥淭hank you! I am Y/N Y/L/N and I will be your host tonight!鈥 The cheering starts again as you wait a little, and when your speech starts rolling on the screen again you continue. 鈥淚t is such an honor to be here tonight, it鈥檚 been definitely one of my dreams to be here and make a fool of myself. When I was contacted about the possibility of hosting an episode my first question was: 鈥淒id Pete show my nudes to the producers?鈥
The audience starts laughing again and you push down a smile as well.
鈥淭urns out it鈥檚 not what happened. It wasn鈥檛 Pete, my nudes just got leaked. Anyway! We are in for an amazing show tonight, we have plenty of jokes and if things don鈥檛 go the way we planned, I can always just show my boobs on live TV, right?鈥
You don鈥檛 feel uncomfortable because of the jokes you鈥檙e making, the writers had you approve them very early on. You鈥檝e been known to be the bold type, you don鈥檛 shy away from showing some skin or making some blunt jokes about your body or sex. Sometimes it鈥檚 even entertaining to see people get mad at you for them.
鈥淗opefully we won鈥檛 have to turn things into a Fifty Shades sequel, I wouldn鈥檛 be able to act upset if someone took me to a room like that, I鈥檓 way too familiar with those equipment.鈥 This time someone even whistles along with the laughter. 鈥淚鈥檓 hoping to鈥斺 you continue, but as planned you get interrupted by Kate McKinnon and the audience starts cheering. 鈥淥h, hello, Kate!鈥
鈥淗i! Sorry to interrupt, but I鈥檝e been trying to spice my Instagram up, I was wondering if we could take a picture,鈥 she smiles, holding her phone up.
鈥淯m, sure, but can it wait until after the show? I鈥檓鈥 kind of in the middle of something,鈥 you say gesturing around in the studio.
鈥淛ust a quick picture! Please!鈥 she begs and holds her phone up as she moves closer to you. Smiling at the camera you strike a casual pose before she turns to you.
鈥淭his is kinda boring, it鈥檚 not how you pose on your Instagram.鈥
鈥淲hat鈥 what do you want me to do?鈥
鈥淟ike, give it some鈥 spice, you know?鈥 she asks and then starts imitating the poses you usually do on your profile, only she does them even more dramatically while you just stand next to her, trying not to laugh along with the audience.
鈥淟et鈥檚 just do this after the show, okay?鈥
鈥淏ye Kate!鈥 you sing and push her out of the frame. 鈥淥kay, where was I? Um, I have no idea. But let me just introduce myself a bit more in case some of you have no idea who I am. I鈥檓 an actress, you most likely have seen me in romcoms on Netflix, but I actually have done some more serious stuff as well lately! Not many of you know this, but I was actually in Dune!鈥
At this point a picture is shown on the screens, a badly photoshopped photo of you posing in a bikini with a cocktail in your hand next to Timoth茅e Chalamet and Zendaya in the desert. Then another one where you鈥檙e building a sand castle in the background at a fight scene.
鈥淚 understand if you didn鈥檛 notice me, I wouldn鈥檛 see anything else either if Timoth茅e Chalamet鈥檚 sharp ass jawline was on the screen. But hopefully, tonight I will give a better performance.鈥
鈥淔unny that you brought up performances!鈥 Pete walks onto the stage, another round of cheering washing over the audience.
鈥淥h, hi Pete. What about performances?鈥
鈥淵our performance wasn鈥檛 too good last night in the bedroom.鈥
鈥淵ou really want to go there?鈥 you ask pursing your lips. 鈥淏ecause you lack quite a lot in knowledge about the female orgasm,鈥 you retort and the laughing continues until it turns into cheering and you know what鈥檚 happening. Harry has walked out to the stage. He stands on your other side, waiting just a few seconds for the cheering to die down.
鈥淒id someone mention the female orgasm?鈥 he asks and now you can鈥檛 hold back a chuckle.
鈥淓veryone, give it up for tonight鈥檚 musical guest, Harry Styles!鈥 you announce and clap along with the audience yourself as well.
鈥淭hank you!鈥 he bows a little with a smirk tugging on his lips. 鈥淪o, you guys need advice on the female orgasm?鈥 he asks.
鈥淣o, no, we鈥檙e good, dude,鈥 Pete shakes his head but you scoff.
鈥淯h, excuse me, we are not good, dude. But I鈥檓 not sure if you鈥檙e the right person to turn to, Harry.鈥
鈥淐ome on, everyone knows I have a bunch of songs about this topic.鈥
鈥淎re you talking about Watermelon Sugar? Because I don鈥檛 know what kind of woman you ate out who tasted like that. It鈥檚 not healthy, Harry.鈥
鈥淵ours tastes like cinnamon rolls,鈥 Pete adds with a shrug.
鈥淥kay, okay, this is enough. Why don鈥檛 you guys just let me finish this damn monologue in peace?鈥 you roll your eyes.
鈥淎lright, see you soon,鈥 Pete nods and bumping his fist against Harry鈥檚, he exits to one side and Harry heads out on the other, leaving you alone on the stage.
鈥淚鈥檒l just keep it short before another man pops in unannounced,鈥 you sigh dramatically. 鈥淪tay with us, we鈥檝e got an incredible show for you tonight, I鈥檓 Y/N Y/L/N, your host tonight and you are watching Saturday Night Live!鈥 you finish off the monologue as the outro music starts playing and the audience claps for you.
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The show goes by in a blur. One skit after the other and whenever you鈥檙e not on the stage, you鈥檙e in hair and makeup, transforming into the next character. It鈥檚 crazy and hectic, but you love every moment of it.
And then the skit with Harry comes.
Everything is going smooth, the audience seems to be liking it and you haven鈥檛 broken out of your character either so it鈥檚 a win. According to the script, Harry bursts into the room, confesses his love for your daughter who is played by Cecily Strong. Then he would beg for you to let him date her, but Pete, aka the father throws him out. It goes as written on the script, the audience seems to be enjoying the skit and then they go wild when Harry appears.
鈥淣o! I can鈥檛 stay away any longer!鈥 he exclaims dramatically and waits a few moments for the laughter to die down before continuing. 鈥淚鈥檓 here to do what I should have done a long time ago!鈥
鈥淲ho the hell are you?鈥 Pete asks from next to you on the couch.
鈥淚 am your daughter鈥檚 boyfriend,鈥 he states in a heroic pose and you have to give it to him, he looks hot in the leather jacket and Dr. Martens, his hair smoothed into a kind of style John Travolta had in Grease.
鈥淎nother boyfriend?鈥 you ask with a gasp, since according to the scene she has brought a fake one home, one you鈥檇 accept in her opinion.
鈥淣o! I鈥檓 her real boyfriend! She just hired this little loser!鈥 Harry grimaces.
鈥淗e is a prostitute?!鈥 Pete questions.
鈥淲hat? No!鈥 Cecil snaps. 鈥淢att, what are you doing here? I told you not to come here!鈥 she cries out to Harry and running over to him, he takes her hands into his, kissing them passionately.
鈥淏ut I just couldn鈥檛 stay away, I have to fight for what I want!鈥
鈥淎nd what do you want?鈥
鈥淚鈥檒l tell you what I want, everyone to shut up so I can watch the game in peace,鈥 Pete sighs, staring at the prop TV that鈥檚 not even on, but the audience can鈥檛 see that.
鈥淚 want you, Kate!鈥 Harry continues, ignoring the comment. 鈥淚 know we鈥檝e only been dating for four days, but I can鈥檛 live without you! I love you, Y/N!鈥
Wait, what?
Everyone on stage freezes for a moment after the slip up and the audience gasps as they register what just happened. Harry was supposed to confess his love to Cecily, calling her Kate, but he ended up saying your name. Your real name.
It seems like everyone in the scene is too shocked, even Harry himself and your acting skills kick in.
鈥淵/N? Who is Y/N? See, Kate, I bet he is dating other girls!鈥 you snap, turning the scene a bit around.
It seems to get everyone else going and soon, you manage to get back to the scene as it was planned, but all along, you can鈥檛 stop yourself from shaking inside.
The show finally ends, no other mishaps happen and you feel relieved as you say your goodbye and the whole cast gathers on the stage, congratulating everyone on the successful episode.
Everyone keeps coming up to you, hugging and shaking hands and you catch Harry鈥檚 eyes over someone鈥檚 shoulder. Without anyone else noticing you nod at him to follow you and you sneakily make your way to a hidden spot on the set, Harry following you right behind.
鈥淵/N, I鈥檓 so sorry, I have no idea what happened!鈥 he apologizes right away, clearly, it鈥檚 been eating him away. 鈥淚t鈥檚 gonna make the headlines, this is gonna get so messy!鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛 care,鈥 you say with a blank face. 鈥淲as there any meaning behind it?鈥
鈥淲hat?鈥 he breathes out with a puzzled look.
鈥淲as it a slip-up because you actually have feelings for me?鈥 you rephrase the question.
鈥淚 uhh, I would never want to ruin someone else鈥檚 relationship, Y/N. You and Pete鈥斺
鈥淛ust fucking answer it!鈥 you groan rolling your eyes. 鈥淎re you into me?鈥
He stares back at you, his jaw clenching before he finally answers.
鈥淚 am. I have been for a while and鈥斺
You cut him off again, but this time, you put your lips to good use, pressing them against his in the dark hiding spot somewhere on the set of Saturday Night Live, the rest of the cast buzzing not far away from the two of you, yet it all fades into nothing as his lips start moving against yours, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you close. Pushing you to take a few steps backwards your back hits the wall and you moan into his mouth as he presses against you. You feel like a teenager sneaking around with your boyfriend so your parents don鈥檛 catch you, only this time if you got caught you鈥檇 be labeled as a cheater and Harry would most likely become a home-wrecker.
Suddenly, Harry pulls back as if he got hit by electricity, his lips swollen and his eyes wide as he stares back at you in shock.
鈥淲ait, what are you doing?! Pete is right out there, we鈥 we can鈥檛鈥︹
You can鈥檛 hold back a laugh at his panic, realizing that you are supposed to be in a relationship.
鈥淚t鈥檚 fake, Harry. I鈥檓 not actually dating Pete,鈥 you tell him and watch as his face falls upon hearing the news.
鈥淲hat? Are you kidding me?鈥
鈥淣o,鈥 you chuckle shaking your head. 鈥淚t鈥檚 PR for tonight and my upcoming movie. We already have a date set to break up.鈥
鈥淗oly shit, I got so scared, Y/N,鈥 he admits exhaling sharply before he cups your face in his hands and kisses you again. 鈥淚 was not in the mood to fight Pete Davidson at the after party,鈥 he chuckles against your lips, making you laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck.
鈥淒on鈥檛 worry, he鈥檒l probably high five you when he finds out about us.鈥
鈥淪o there is an us?鈥 he asks, cocking an eyebrow.
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 want that?鈥
鈥淵/N, I have wanted it since I was like鈥 eighteen,鈥 he admits chuckling.
鈥淵ou鈥檝e been crushing on me all along?鈥 you gasp with wide eyes and he just nods, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip that you can鈥檛 wait to go back to kissing. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 funny, because I鈥檝e had the fattest crush on you since probably forever too.鈥
鈥淒amn it, then we have a lot of time to make up for that we missed, huh?鈥 he grins coyly and kisses you again. And again. And again鈥
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
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do-rey-me a year ago
me, grieving through gritted teeth: the ball will get smaller the ball will get smaller the ball will get smaller tHE B
my brain, bored and actively throwing the ball at the button: hey why dont you desperately try to remember everything you've lost, huh? maybe if you hold on tight enough you wont forget his laugh through smoking lungs, or his smile with fucked up teeth, or the way he held your hand and it felt like safety, even if all you can remember is holding his while he slept and could do nothing haha :) maybe you'll be able to remember even though you had such a short time with him and a whole life in front of you to forget :)) the little details are what you loved so much about him, right? but you cannot individually hold onto a million grains of sand. something will slip. perhaps something already has, how are you to know?
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hollandsangel 5 months ago
stove light | tom holland
it鈥檚 literally 12:37 am and i just wrote this bc i went upstairs for a snack and saw pie sitting in the counter. don鈥檛 ask any questions
also! i told myself i鈥檇 post this (before i originally planned to) if my last imagine hit 400 notes, and y鈥檃ll went crazy馃槶馃槶 so thank you sososososos much for the support! i鈥檝e never written for anyone besides the wdw boys so it was definitely nerve wracking, but you were nothing but sweet and wonderful. ily!!
summary: you think you鈥檙e in love with him and it鈥檚 a little unnerving; pt 2 (ish) here !
warnings: one swear, friends to lovers (sort of? it鈥檚 intended at least :))
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not my gif!
you couldn鈥檛 sleep. you stared at the ceiling and clutched your duvet against your chest, trying to count your breaths in a dying attempt to get some rest.
there was one thing on your mind.
okay, two things.
one; your roommate kissed you two days ago, and you hadn鈥檛 spoken to him since, barely even let yourself be in the same room as him for more than 30 seconds.
two; you were fucking starving.
with a huff you pushed your covers away and slid your feet into your slippers, using your phone flashlight to navigate your way down the stairs of the three story house you shared with your four friends and to the kitchen, where you turned on only the stove light so as not to disturb anyone.
peering down into the fridge you bit your lip and sneered at the lack of intriguing contents, picking up and putting down an orange with a half hearted thought of eating it. eventually you closed the door and turned to the counter where the breadbox and other bakery items sat. the pumpkin pie caught your eye, left over from some gathering you and housemates had. it still sat in the cardboard box it came, the stores brand illuminated under the harsh light above the stove.
with another soft sigh you pulled down a bowl and cut yourself a small slice, licking your finger off after sliding it into the dish.
a small noise made the hairs on your arms stand up, and you could nearly feel him standing behind you. you turned towards the doorway and looked at him for longer than you had in days.
your eyes fell to the floor and you licked your bottom lip before bringing them back up to his, 鈥測ou want some pie?鈥 you asked.
he was staring back at you, a slight pinch in brows and a lift in his lips as if he wanted to say something, something other than what he responded with. 鈥渦h, yeah, sure.鈥
you turned back to the foil tin and cut another portion, lifting it into another bowl and digging a spoon next to it, leaving it on the counter as you tiredly walked over to the table.
tom watched you all the way to your seat before heading to the counter and leaning against it, bowl cupped between his hands.
the only sound for a while was the clink of silverware against ceramic, but you knew he was watching you.
鈥渦m-鈥 he cleared his throat, and you looked at him, spoon still in hand with a mouthful of pie on it. 鈥渋鈥檓 sorry.鈥 he mumbled, and it鈥檚 just above a whisper. you don鈥檛 say anything, just wait to see if he has anything else to say. he does. 鈥渋-i鈥檓 sorry that you feel like you can鈥檛 talk to me, a-and that i haven鈥檛 really said anything either.鈥
the silence settles so deep into his bones that he panics a little.
鈥渂ut i鈥檓 not sorry that i kissed you.鈥
you turned back to your bowl and finished that last mouthful of pie before putting your spoon down.
鈥渘either am i.鈥 you say earnestly, swallowing as you lift your gaze back into him.
he鈥檚 wearing those stupid hello kitty pyjamas and a blue t shirt, it looks awful and the colour clash, but his hair is longer, and curlier and it looks so nice without any gel in it it makes you want to cry. he has his glasses on, and you figure he was probably noting his script before he came downstairs.
鈥測ou鈥檙e not?鈥 he crosses his arms over his chest, and you hate yourself for letting your eyes falter to his biceps for a moment.
you shake your head and swallow again. 鈥渘o.鈥
鈥渂ut you won鈥檛 speak to me.鈥 his brows pull together a little more, and his accent is thicker when he鈥檚 confused or upset, mad even, which you鈥檝e come to know. 鈥測ou鈥檝e barely looked at me in days.鈥 he just sounds defeated now.
you open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
you can't bear to look at him.
you can't bear to look away.
鈥測/n.鈥 he says.
鈥渋鈥檓 sorry.鈥 you rasp out. 鈥渋 wanted you to kiss me, but-鈥
鈥渂ut?鈥 he urges you, leaning forward slightly, subconsciously trying to be closer to you.
鈥渂ut it鈥檚 complicated鈥nd- and i鈥檓 scared.鈥 your voice hushes and his face softens.
he lets out a breath, looking away for half a second 鈥渋 know baby, i know.鈥 he mutters, pushing away from the counter and coming to sit next to you on the bench, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you in to kiss your hair.
鈥渋 want to tom, i-i do but鈥ou鈥檙e my roommate, and my best friend and last time-鈥
he cuts you off, knowing exactly what you mean and understanding all you insecurities from your past relationship. 鈥渟hhh, it鈥檚 okay, i know darling.鈥
you hate how sweet he鈥檚 being.
no you don鈥檛.
you lift your head from his shoulder and look him in the eye, 鈥渨hy are you being so gentle with me?鈥 you ask sincerely.
he swipes a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. 鈥渂ecause i already decided that i鈥檇 wait for you.鈥 he answers, looking back into your eyes once he鈥檚 satisfied with the placement of your hair.
you smiled, for real. it was small and it was tired, but it was real and it was all his.
so you sat there on the kitchen bench together, knees pulled up to your chest and head lulling back onto his shoulder as his fingers combed through your hair, your faces barely lit by the dim hue of the stove light.
tags! @randomlimelightxxx @baby-bearie @averysbestyears @would-you-tell-me-who-you-are @g7aesthetic @babyzachyy聽@wdwjay02 @chilling-seavey @bessonbabie @my-fangirling-outlet @hiya-its-amber @katie-avery @theduckgoesquack @coffearabica @jonahlovescoffee @babybuckleys @hllandvibbes
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just-call-me-angel 2 months ago
Clever Girl
Chapter 1 - Pumpkin Pie
|| This fic contains mature content! If you are below the age of 18 this is not for you! Further warnings will be added as needed! ||
Authors note: I have not written seriously in ages but I've been going absolutely insane thinking about Paul Dano and his recent role as the Riddler and one of my partners convinced me to get back into writing. Hope y'all enjoy because this is literally just me shamelessly fantasizing about the Riddler being obsessed with me. I'm going to try to update this regularly because I have little else to do in my free time but I make no promises! Please leave your thoughts in the comments! I'd love to know how I can improve my fic! My fic is also posted to ao3 if you would like to show your support there as well! -鈾ngel鈾
Chapters: ||1||2||3||4||
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Gotham was a rotten place. It always had been and it would likely always remain like that. It was just the way it was and the sooner everyone accepted that fact, the sooner everyone could go on with their shitty lives. You鈥檝e lived in Gotham your whole life, you鈥檇 seen people die in the streets, hell you had very nearly been the one dying a few times and you鈥檇 been robbed at gunpoint more times than you could even count and at this point it was more concerning when something bad didn鈥檛 happen. It was a routine that you and nearly everyone in Gotham was used to and as much as you complained about it, it was still your home. And really where else could you go? When you were young you imagined a life far away from Gotham and all the shit and piss and blood that flooded the streets, but as you grew older you realized it was nothing more than a fantasy. Gotham had a hold on you for better or for worse.
So you stuck to what you knew. You continued the cycle your family had begun long before you were even an idea in their minds, trapping yourself in Gotham until the day you died. You graduated high school in Gotham and eventually went to college in Gotham. You had to drop out of course, the school wasn鈥檛 cheap and you couldn鈥檛 keep up with the loans. You reminded yourself that you had made a pretty good effort, no one else in your family had gotten as far as you had. So you moved on, got a job at some shitty dinner and managed to get an apartment nearby. It was a shitty side of town but really there wasn鈥檛 a side of Gotham that wasn鈥檛 shitty so you took what you could get even if you had to worry about an occasional break in here and there. Life continued and Gotham continued to rot and it didn鈥檛 really matter that you were likely to rot away with it.
And really Rosie鈥檚 Diner wasn鈥檛 all that bad, sure your boss rarely paid you what you were owed, the food tasted like cardboard, and people gave shit tips but you always met interesting people. Take for instance your coworker, Darcy. A 52 year old red haired woman who had lived in Gotham all her life, she had brought three children into this world and had already buried two of them. She didn鈥檛 talk about what happened much but from what you could gather they hadn鈥檛 died peacefully. She was fierce and loud and refused to take shit from anyone. You had watched her make grown men nearly piss themselves in fear more than a few times. And despite all the shit that Gotham had tossed her way she had a warmth about her that you hadn鈥檛 seen since you were a kid. She treated you and many of your other coworkers like you were her flesh and blood, and you supposed that in some fucked up way you were her flesh and blood, linked by the rot that Gotham had set in all of you. Then there was Ricky, a 25 year old social worker who came in every morning at 5 am for a cup of coffee and told you fanciful stories with a level of excitement you had only seen coming from a young child. You had once asked him why he became a social worker and as he looked up you suddenly realized how much older he looked. You could see the worry lines already forming across his forehead and the dark circles beneath his tired green eyes. Yet as he told you that he wasn鈥檛 ready to give up on the people of Gotham, he still managed to smile like a young man who still had hope for the world. And somehow it gave you a little hope as well. You made sure to give him an extra to go cup of coffee every time you saw him after that and he would laugh and tease you for worrying about him even though he would never deny the extra boost in energy.
But in the nearly 3 years you had spent working at Rosie鈥檚 you had never come across someone more interesting than one particular customer. You had met him first a few weeks back, he came in an hour before you were done with your shift. You had noticed almost immediately how odd he was as he sat at the counter hunched over a crossword puzzle and sipped occasionally at his coffee. His hair was sandy brown and made him look a bit like an awkward teenage boy and he was tall, though you noticed he often tried to make himself appear smaller. He wore large clear framed glasses that often slid down the bridge of his nose whenever he bent over his little puzzle book to focus. You wondered if his glasses even really helped him sometimes with how he seemed to squint and move closer to read things. He was odd but he was also rather intriguing and you for some unknown reason were determined to befriend him.
At first he only came in once or twice but eventually he became something of a regular and you became used to the chime of the little bell at the front ringing to indicate his arrival around 6:30am. For a while he would avoid your attempts at small talk. Even when you asked him if he needed a refill for his coffee he refused to meet your gaze as he would nod quickly and push his cup timidly towards you. Once you had accidentally brushed your hand against his while moving to pour fresh coffee into his mug and you watched in surprise as he stood up almost instantly, shoved a little pile of cash onto the counter and rushed out of the diner before you could say a word. He didn鈥檛 come in for a few days after that and when he finally returned he sat hunched over another crossword puzzle in his usual place at the counter. Despite not knowing him and having thus far failed at befriending him you had worried about him in his absence. Mostly you had spent your shifts casting anxious glances at the door wondering when or if he would return. You worried endlessly that you had done something to offend him and wanted desperately to apologize. It felt odd to try to apologize out loud, you doubted you could even get the words out without sounding like a complete idiot so instead you opted for a subtler gesture. You passed him his cup of coffee fresh from the pot and carefully placed a slice of pumpkin pie in front of him along with it. For a moment he didn鈥檛 even seem to notice you standing there but as he moved to grab his coffee his eyes landed on the pie you had offered to him in silent apology. Slowly he looked up at you clearly confused as his brows furrowed behind his glasses.
鈥淢iss鈥 uh鈥 I didn鈥檛 order the pie 鈥 he spoke quietly, moving to push the pie back towards you only for you to shake your head and place it right back in front of him.
鈥淣o no, It's um鈥 it's in the house.鈥 you paused, biting the inside of your cheek and fidgeting with the hem of your apron for a moment, 鈥淚 wanted to apologize for making you uncomfortable the other day.鈥 He stares at you for what feels like hours and you can already feel heat rising to your cheeks with him studying you like this. Finally he looks down at the pie and starts to pick up the fork, taking a small piece into his mouth with a little hum of approval.
Just as you were about to turn around and hide in the kitchen you heard him mumble something you couldn鈥檛 quite understand making you tilt your head at him with a quiet 鈥渉mm?鈥
鈥淚 asked if you like Riddles鈥 he repeated carefully before taking another bite of the pie you had offered him. You stared at him for a moment rather perplexed by the odd question. Still you gave him an honest answer.
鈥淚鈥檓 not very good at them to be honest but I like the way they make you think.鈥 you offer politely, pleased that your apology pie had gotten him to actually speak to you, even if the conversation was a little strange.
He seemed to approve of your answer, a little smile spreading over his lips when he looked up at you again. 鈥淚'm sure that鈥檚 not true, you seem like a smart girl鈥 You could feel his eyes wandering over you and normally it would have made you feel a little sick but the little bit of praise he had offered had you far too giddy to really care.
鈥淲ould you like to try to solve a riddle?鈥 he asks, a little spark of childlike mischief in his green eyes. You nodded before you even fully registered the question, too thrilled at the chance to actually speak to this intriguing man. He seemed equally as excited and barely flinched when you moved closer to him as even he moved to lean in ever so slightly as if preparing to tell you a secret.
鈥淲hat breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks?鈥 His words are said carefully and he sounds more confident than he ever has in the brief times you had heard his voice. Your brows furrowed immediately in frustration and he seemed amused by your reaction laughing softly, 鈥淒on鈥檛 take it too literally, that's how you get lost in a riddle.鈥 he offered in encouragement.
He let you think on the riddle for a while, quietly eating his pie and sipping his coffee. Once or twice he would glance down at his puzzle book and carefully fill in an answer but he seemed intent on watching you struggle with the riddle. You wanted desperately to answer correctly but mostly you wanted him to smile at you again. Maybe he鈥檇 praise you again for your cleverness if you guessed correctly.
What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? You repeat the question over and over in your mind until you're sure even he can hear it echo against your skull. You lean over the counter with a heavy sigh as your eyes wander around the diner. You can see him watching you out of the corner of your eye and it makes you fidget a bit, biting at the inside of your cheek again, repeating the riddle like a mantra in your thoughts, What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks? Your gaze falls upon the sky breaking out from black to shades of orange and you can鈥檛 help but smile at the sight. Dawn was the only time Gotham鈥檚 skies weren鈥檛 completely gray and it was part of the reason you enjoyed the graveyard shift so much. Your brain froze for a moment as you stared out the windows and suddenly it was like a wildfire lit up in your brain as the dots connected and you pushed off of the counter quickly turning to face the man again.
鈥淒usk and dawn鈥 you stated proudly, hands on your hips and a big grin on your face. He looked up from his puzzle book with a blank expression that slowly spread into a smile as he began quietly clapping his hands as if to applaud you.
鈥淪ee I knew you were a clever girl.鈥 You could feel your cheeks burning once more at his praise and you couldn鈥檛 help the nervous laughter that bubbled from your throat as he stared at you with open interest. You stared at him for what seemed like ages, blissfully unaware of your surroundings until he shifted and began to gather his things, carefully pulling out money to pay for his coffee and suddenly you realize it's nearly the end of your shift and you have to stop yourself from pouting like a child. He sets the money on the counter turning to leave and you fight the urge to stop him and ask for another riddle if only to prolong the interaction. As if hearing your silent prayer, he stopped near the door and you watched as he seemed to have an internal struggle of his own before finally he called back to you.
鈥淲hat belongs to me yet everyone else uses more than me?鈥 he asks with a shy smile and you tilt your head curiously until you realize it鈥檚 another riddle and you perk up instantly. 鈥淚f you can solve it by tomorrow I鈥檒l give you my name.鈥 he promises and you can鈥檛 stop the smile from spreading over your face as you nod excitedly and he smiles back, a little hum of approval as he turns to open the door.
鈥淚鈥檒l see you later Clever girl鈥 He promises with a little wave as he steps out the door and you wave back, beaming as you bounce a little on your heels. You stand there for a while, just staring at the door with a little smile still tugging at your lips. You鈥檙e sure you look rather strange standing there with a dumb smile on your face but you can鈥檛 bring yourself to care. Not when you have a riddle to solve and the promise of this intriguing man's name.
You go home cheeks still burning from the excitement of your morning. You hadn鈥檛 felt this giddy in years and for the first time in a long time you were actually excited to go to work the next day if only to see your strange new friend with his love for pumpkin pie and his little riddles. You wanted desperately to get to know him, to hear him call you a clever girl just once more. You were determined to solve his riddles and in turn solve the mystery of the man himself.
You spent the day thinking about the riddle, repeating it to yourself even as you showered and got ready for bed. The answer didn鈥檛 come to you until you were finally beginning to drift off to sleep and a little smile crept onto your face as you whispered the answer softly to yourself.
鈥淵our name鈥
You fell asleep imagining how pleased he would be to hear you had solved his riddle, his quiet voice echoing through your mind, as you drifted to sleep dreaming of pumpkin pie and crossword puzzles stained with coffee rings.
Edward's POV
Edward was beyond distracted for the rest of the day, endless strings of information barely even registering in his mind as he worked mindlessly, thoughts stuck on the pretty waitress at the local diner. His head felt fuzzy just thinking about how soft her skin had been against his and how thrilled she had seemed to talk to him. He had never in his life interacted with a woman for as long as he did you and it was absolutely terrifying. A part of him wanted to forget about the whole thing and completely avoid the diner for the rest of his life so as to never risk embarrassing himself in front of her. But another part of him, a more desperate and hopeless part of him yearned to see her again. He wanted to make her smile again. He wanted to see her brows furrow and lips form into a pout as she thought hard about a riddle. He wanted to make her cheeks grow red with embarrassment again like they had when he praised her cleverness. He hadn鈥檛 even meant to say it out loud but when her face lit up bright red and she laughed nervously he was glad for his inability to keep his mouth shut.
He wondered if she had solved the riddle yet. He was sure she would have by now, she was clever, he hadn鈥檛 lied about that and he never was one to give praise unless it was well deserved. Despite his avoidance when it came to talking to her, he had spent much of his time in that little diner watching her from afar when he thought she wasn鈥檛 looking. She was annoyingly distracting and at first Edward had hated her for it. After a while the annoyance turned to curiosity as he watched her interact with her coworkers and customers. She was quiet and sweet but unafraid to give people a piece of her mind. He had seen her talk excitedly with a coworker and then slap a man across the face for trying to grope her through her uniform all in the same breath. (He very nearly had to rush to the bathroom to jerk himself off after watching her scold a man twice her size, pathetically he imagined that it was him she was calling names and insulting). She was thrilling and new and Edward wanted to ruin her and be ruined by her, he wasn鈥檛 even sure which he wanted more at this point. It didn鈥檛 matter, he just wanted to have her, the rest of Gotham could burn for all he cared (and it would if he had anything to say about it).
Work felt like it had gone on for an eternity before he was finally able to go back to his apartment and Edward knew he would be kicking himself the next day for not getting more work done. Realistically he could have brought some work home with him to finish but it was likely he still wouldn鈥檛 be able to focus. She had only said a few words to him and yet she was quickly becoming all he could think about.
Edward had always been what many would call obsessive, he would get stuck on something and it wouldn鈥檛 stop bothering him until he figured it out, it鈥檚 why he loved puzzles so much. They were something he could spend hours figuring out and it absolutely thrilled him. So he reasoned that all he needed to do was solve the mystery of his clever girl and then he could move on with his life and all his plans for Gotham. It was an easy task and he would eventually grow bored with her as he usually did on the rare occasions when he did express interest in a person. He would probably learn something that would make him hate her and then he could wipe her from his life without a second glance. That's how life was, he had learned long ago not to hold out hope for people to actually understand him or god forbid care about him. But he could have fun with you while it lasted at least. The hurt never lasted long when people eventually showed their true colors and in the end he could always use that pain to drive his desire to see Gotham washed clean of all its sin.
How things ended with her in the future really didn鈥檛 matter right now though, not when he could still feel the ache of his cock against his pants. Was he really so desperate for attention that he was already hard at the mere thought of some pretty waitress he didn鈥檛 even know the name of. He should have paid attention to her name tag or listened when her coworkers talked to her, maybe then he would know what her name sounded like falling from his lips as he tugged his pants down his thighs and fell backwards into his shitty mattress. He closed his eyes imagining her pretty pink lips puffed out in a pout, a breathless whine already escaping him as his hand brushed over his leaking cock. He wondered what she would sound like moaning his name and how she would look creaming on his cock. His thoughts wandered and his hips moved with reckless abandon when he imagined her knelt before him, taking his cock down her throat like she needed it to survive. Fuck, he needed to slow down, savor this before he dove over the ledge.
Edward gave the base of dick a firm squeeze, biting his lower lip in frustration as he forced himself to calm down. Slowly he worked himself back up, mind already conjuring up images of her pretty face wet with tears as she choked on his cock. She鈥檇 love it, he thought, thrusting up into his hand with a hiss. She鈥檇 milk him for all he had to offer and she鈥檇 love every fucking second of it, he decided with a choked gasp. He imagined her writhing above him, tight cunt squeezing his cock as she let him grope her. He wondered what her tits looked like, he didn鈥檛 care how big or how small they really were, he just wanted to feel them in his hands, taste them on his tongue and see them decorated with little purple bruises. 鈥淚 wanna make you feel good.鈥, he imagined her saying and it had him fisting his sheets with his free hand. He wondered if she would take control, he liked to think she would, he liked to picture her riding his cock and making him promise not to cum until she gave him permission. It would be hard, he鈥檇 whine and beg her while she rode him like her life depended on it and he wouldn鈥檛 even try to stop her until finally, blessedly she would lean over and whisper into his ear asking him, begging him,聽commanding him to cum for her. He bucked wildly into his hand before he could even stop himself. With a cry he arched off of the mattress as he came into his own hand as if you really had been there finally allowing him the release he so desperately craved.
Edward laid there on his bed, legs trembling and breaths coming out shaky and raspy and didn鈥檛 move to clean himself off until he felt too sticky and gross to lay still. He imagined if she was really there she would guide him to the shower with a gentle hand and sweet coos of praise. He got up quickly, nearly tripping with his first step, forgetting his pants and boxers were still hooked around his ankles. With a grumble he kicked them off, not caring where they landed at this point, it wasn鈥檛 like it mattered, no one ever came to his apartment so he had no reason to worry about a little mess. Slowly he shuffled to the bathroom, wincing when he turned on the light to look briefly in the mirror. His cheeks were red, and his hair was wet with sweat and sticking to his forehead. His glasses were resting at an odd angle, the lenses a little fogged up and his eyes looked a bit sad behind them.
Pathetic. Fucking pathetic, he thought as he rifled through his laundry basket and tossed a shirt over the mirror with a heavy sigh before he stepped into the shower. The water was freezing and he only stayed in long enough to let the water wash away the cum sticking to his stomach and thighs. He exited the shower quickly, barely bothering to towel off before he tossed on a pair of boxers and a shirt he assumed was clean enough and all but threw himself back into bed, curling up under his thin sheets and shivering when they failed to provide enough warmth. He imagined for a moment that she was there sleeping next to him, keeping him warm in his shitty apartment and it soothed the chill in his bones enough that eventually he fell asleep, dreaming for the first time of something other than the memories that usually plagued him. Instead he dreamt of his clever girl and the thrilling new mystery that she provided him with.
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twopoppies a month ago
Here鈥檚 that Twitter thread translated + quotes. No pics bc lazy (: Hope this helps!
Re-reading the lyrics of "Daylight," and especially the verse that mentions the "Bluebird," I wondered several times what Harry's sources of inspiration might have been and why he chose this particular bird.
Aside from Louis
The Bluebird (Sialia, in Italian) over the years has also taken on mythological connotations and is often found in seafaring literature. It would represent eternal happiness as well as springtime.
In the Native American Cochiti tribe, the Sun's firstborn son is named Bluebird. In the short story "The Sun's Children," featured in Ruth Benedict's Tales of the Cochiti Indians (1932), the Sun's male child was named Bluebird (Culutiwa). (Sun -> Bluebird -> Louis)
In Navajo tradition the Bluebird is associated with the rising Sun. The Bluebird Song is sung to remind tribal members to rise at dawn to give thanks to the rising Sun. "Bluebird said to me: Get up, my grandchild. It is dawn; it said to me."
The bluebird, understood as a representation of the concept of freedom, which coincides with a form of "resurrection," is also found in two of the authors whom Harry has repeatedly acknowledged to be a source of inspiration for him: Paul McCartney and David Bowie.
鈥淥h I'll be free, just like that bluebird. Oh I'll be free. Ain't that just like me?" sings Bowie in "Lazarus." A kind of testament, where he seems to want to tell us: just as I am dying, I am ready to be reborn and to feel free at last, whatever form I will take.
In McCartney, the Bluebird (a song written with his wife Linda during a vacation in Jamaica) becomes a metaphor for the transcendent power of love and the liberation of the human spirit from a form of physical and mental slavery. The Bluebird itself becomes a symbol of Love, understood as the only source of Freedom.
鈥淟ate at night when the wind is still I'll come flying through your door, and you'll know what love is for; I'm a bluebird.鈥
Turning to literature, we know that Harry also loves Charles Bukowski. Several times he has been seen reading his poetry, and his writing has also been influenced by the poet in the past. No wonder, then, that Bukowski wrote a poem entitled "Bluebird."
鈥淭here's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough on him鈥
First published in 1992 in the collection "Last Night of the Earth Poems," Bukowski tells of the malaise inherent in every person, a pain that each of us feels, latent, a kind of background noise of our existence. Again, that longed-for sense of freedom.
The Bluebird is also quoted by Oscar Wilde in "The Decay of Lying (1889)." A Bluebird singing about beautiful and impossible things that are not but should be. Yeah...
鈥淐hamping his gilded oats, the hippogriff will stand in our stalls; and over our heads will float the Blue Bird singing of beautiful and impossible things, of things that are lovely and that never happen, of things that are not and that should be.鈥
In "May-Day," by Ralph Waldo Emerson, we find not only the bluebird but also daffodils. I wonder where I have seen them before
鈥淲hen I bought my farm, I did not know what a bargain I had in the bluebirds, daffodils and thrushes; as little did I know what sublime mornings and sunsets I was buying.鈥
"Gay as a daffodil" = "Gay as a bluebird" Finally, I couldn't help but look up the meaning of Bluebird in Urban Dictionary (it's all Harry's fault and his cryptic slang). I leave the considerations to you. *definition posted 2017
(Don鈥檛 mind me lurking on your page I sent in some stuff last night so I鈥檓 馃憖)
You are brilliant. Thank you so much for taking the time to translate all of that!! That鈥檚 really a beautiful thread and now I love that song even more. 馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶
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cardsharps 8 months ago
What happened at the spn convention??? I keep seeing out of contexts posts and reblogs and I am DYING to know the whole story!! 馃槶
well, that's.... a very loaded question i'll see how concisely i can put it. it started with jensen and misha photo ops where they were apparently like a little flirty (pretending to kiss each other etc) and then jensen had his panel. the main things that happened were:
crowd boo'd the finale
jensen didn't try talking about the finale/evaded questions about it
started singing and dancing?? on stage at one point
basically the questions were very bad
then鈥攁nd this is what a lot of us are mad about/put us down鈥攁 fan asked how dean would treat jack differently if he was a girl. jensen said he'd treat her the same, then asked what jack identified as (which many people thought was trans/enby jack truthing) and then said that he'd probably spare a female jack a few more "glances."
a fan asked what would happen if it were really cas at the door and not lucifer in 15x19, and he stuttered and said dean would give cas a "huge embrace."
misha crashed the panel after this and gave jensen a hug, they talked about hugging etc
at the misha panel right after:
just a note that at this point everyone on the dash including myself was put off about the jensen "glances" comment re: jack so a lot of live blogging dwindled off
misha said he thought cas was probably lonely in heaven. he also said he wasn't supposed to talk about it
he said he wanted to explore relationships between cas and god, cas and dean (he specifically said he'd like to see a spinoff exploring cas and dean), and cas and claire
edit: misha also said his fave scene was the confession
a fan was in the middle of asking for cas' advice to someone who'd lost a loved one (having lost someone themselves and getting emotional about it) when jensen and jared crashed the panel to tell misha to stop talking (because the photo ops for j2m were next), thus cutting off the person's question
all in all it was a bit of a shit show
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micromys 8 months ago
(I'm having Thoughts about a kid's show again, no one is surprised, help me)
It struck me while watching Maya and the Three that Jorge Gutierrez has definitely improved at romance since The Book of Life. And don't get me wrong, I love The Book of Life. But its love story is kind of its weak point, in that we aren't really given much reason as to why Manolo and Maria are in love other than he had a crush on her as a kid and then she came back as an adult and was pretty and 'not like other girls' and he sings to her. (Again, I love this movie, and I am very fond of them. But... yeah.) Again, I very much enjoy "boy swooning over girl who could kick his ass", but I would have liked to see the actual "falling" part instead of just being told they are in love.
And it's kind of funny, because Maya and the Three has very little focus on romance in comparison. But... it works better? At least with the main pair. (Not really a fan of pairing everyone else off into obligatory het couples, but. That's a discussion for another post.)
I liked that Zatz didn't dump Acat in order to pursue Maya. He broke up with Acat because she proved to him that their values were irrevocably incompatible. (And Acat's love and respect for him are evident in how she chooses not to expose his aiding Maya to Mictlan even though he broke her heart, and doing so would have probably saved her life.)
And it's not that the Maya and Zatz romance isn't still rushed, because it... kind of is. Only nine episodes and all that. But I could see exactly why they fell for each other. Zatz was drawn to Maya because of her courage, stubbornness, and sense of honor. Maya softened to Zatz because of his kindness, patience (I mean, their first couple of encounters was mostly her yelling insults at him while he kept her from dying), and, well... his sense of honor.
They are on the same footing, they're both demigods, they challenge each other and enjoy doing so (one of my favorite bits is when they are sparring and Zatz, in a breathlessly delighted tone of voice, asks "Why are we fighting?" and she laughingly responds "Because I hate you!") They flirt with each other that whole fight and are aware they are doing it. It's very purposeful, and you can see it dawn on both of them just how much they are enjoying it.
Even though Maya keeps up the pretense of being disdainful of him for a little longer, she immediately cups his face in her hand when he requests to join her quest despite it. And then it's no big deal when they kiss for the first time in the cavern, after discussing their fallen loved ones. They knew they were heading there. It didn't require any fanfare. It just was. It felt comfortable, more comfortable than I usually feel when it comes to rushed romance in a kid's show. I do wish the whole "falling for each other" part would have been explored further, but. Even with what we have, I enjoyed it quite a bit.
Anyway, bottom line is, I like them. And I'm glad they get to dance forever, because I'm sure they are challenging each other and flirting the entire dang time.
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mrsstruggle 2 months ago
The Lost Child - Chapter 29 // Teen Wolf x Marvel AU
Summary: Y/N Stark was taken from her family when she was three years old. It's fifteen years later and her family believes she is dead. Then how is she living in Beacon Hills?
Warnings: Language, Mentions of Blood/Kidnapping/Death/Injury/Medical Things, Medical Inaccuracies, Possible Grammar Mistakes (please let me know if there is anything else)
Pairings: Derek Hale x Reader, Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner x Natasha Romanoff, Vision x Wanda Maximoff, & More To Come
Previous Pairings: Tony Stark x Pepper Potts, Scott McCall x Allison Argent
Words: 3.8k
Note: I am posting every 4-5 days (except for this post because it's a week late and we are going to ignore that it is)
Additional Note: While this is a Teen Wolf x Marvel AU, not everything is true to the shows/movies/comics. I had to change things for the story.
One Last Note: Y/N was adopted by Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. I did this so more people can see themselves in this story.
The Lost Child Masterlist
Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
鈥淛ust tell me how he is,鈥 Y/N can feel herself shaking.
Melissa takes a deep breath, 鈥淲e removed the arrow but Deaton says it was laced with several different kinds of wolfsbane. We think they got into his bloodstream and it鈥檚 not allowing him to heal at the rate he should be.鈥
鈥淚s that is? Just stitch him up and I鈥檒l put him on bed rest until he鈥檚 fully healed.鈥 Y/N doesn鈥檛 understand what has Melissa so nervous. When she was told she should sit down she expected the worse.
鈥淭he main problem is鈥e don鈥檛 know when he will wake up or if he will ever wake up鈥︹
鈥淚-I don鈥檛 understand鈥︹
鈥淏ecause of the concoction of wolfsbane that was on the arrow and the amount that got into his system, we don鈥檛 know when he will wake up or if he will. Deaton doesn鈥檛 have anything that can fight all of the poison off so it鈥檚 up to Derek himself. Either his body fights it off or it kills him.鈥 Melissa reaches out and grips Y/N on the side of her arm to try and give her some comfort.
鈥淗ow can you be sure about any of this? It鈥檚 been like 20-30 minutes since we got here!鈥 The arrow was meant for her. Derek shouldn鈥檛 be on some metal table in a vet clinic dying, it should be her.
鈥淟ook, I鈥檓 just telling you what Deaton told me. I鈥檓 not an expert when it comes to werewolves but he is. I know you trust him so that means I trust him too.鈥 Melissa calmly explains. 鈥淚鈥檓 going to head over to the hospital and pick up a few things for Derek and then I will meet you at your place. That鈥檚 the best place for him to be while we wait.鈥
鈥淐an I finally see him?鈥 Y/N can feel that she鈥檚 on the verge of a breakdown but she鈥檚 trying to hold it back.
Y/N watches as Melissa nods and moves out of her way before she rushes to Derek. As she walks back into the back room, she feels sick when her eyes land on Derek鈥檚 body. Deaton is currently in the process of bandaging Derek up but she caught a glimpse of the stitched-up wound where the arrow previously was.
Deaton looks up when he hears Y/N walk in, 鈥淚鈥檓 almost done wrapping him up then you should take him home.鈥
鈥淲hen will he wake up?鈥 Y/N quietly asks, slowly approaching Derek鈥檚 unconscious body. She knows what Melissa said but she wanted to hear it from Deaton.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 know,鈥 Deaton sighs, 鈥淚t鈥檚 up to him to decide.鈥
Y/N gently grabs Derek鈥檚 limp hand and wraps her hands around it. She can feel her tears threatening to fall but she won鈥檛 let them. She still hasn鈥檛 wrapped her head around everything that happened. This is too much.
In less than a week, she鈥檚 been injured by a hunting party trying to kill her, taken by a massive terrorist organization, forced to kill innocent teenagers to save another, had her hidden traumatizing memories recovered, remembered her first family, took down Gerard and Rumlow, confronted Pepper about selling her to Hydra, and now she鈥檚 being told that her boyfriend, who took a poisonous arrow for her, may or may not wake up.
This doesn鈥檛 seem real. She feels like if she waits a few more minutes she will wake up from this horrible nightmare. She knows deep down that none of this is her fault but she can鈥檛 help and feel like it is. She鈥檚 the one who told the others about Pepper; that鈥檚 why they were at the Hale house. She鈥檚 also the one who wasn鈥檛 paying attention when leaving the house. If she was paying attention, maybe Derek wouldn鈥檛 have gotten hurt.
Y/N was too busy staring at Derek鈥檚 face that she didn鈥檛 hear Stiles approach her, 鈥淚 called the others and told them to go home. Peter鈥檚 family just came back but I sent them back to where they鈥檙e staying.鈥
Y/N nods in acknowledgment of Stiles鈥檚 words. She鈥檚 sure it was probably hard for Peter and them to just go back to wherever they鈥檙e staying since she just told them she knows who they are but she鈥檚 glad that they did. She just wants to take Derek home and never leave until awake and fully healed. Even after that, she鈥檚 not sure she鈥檒l want to leave for a long time.
鈥淚 think Lydia and Malia are going to the station. Apparently, Parrish found Meredith Walker alive and she claims to have something to do with the Deadpool.鈥 Stiles explains.
鈥淲hen was she dead?鈥 Y/N whispers, trying not to sound as emotional as she feels.
鈥淚鈥檓 guessing we forgot to tell you that鈥︹ Stiles mumbles under his breath. It鈥檚 been a busy few weeks and a lot of different things have been going on, especially within these last few days. 鈥淪cott should be here in a minute to help us take Derek back to your place.鈥
Stiles isn鈥檛 sure what he should do. He鈥檚 never really known what to do when Y/N is upset. She鈥檚 always known what to do for him but he鈥檚 never known what to do. She鈥檚 the one that is always comforting everyone and the only person she鈥檚 ever allowed to comfort her is the one person who can鈥檛. This week has been hard on him but he can鈥檛 imagine how hard it鈥檚 been on her.
She鈥檚 been through so much already and now this is happening. It鈥檚 like the world is against her being happy at the moment.聽
鈥淩eady to take him home?鈥 Y/N jumps a bit at the sound of Scott鈥檚 voice. She looks up to see him standing in front of her in a new shirt. She鈥檚 not even sure when he got here or when Deaton stopped bandaging Derek up.
鈥淵eah,鈥 She whispers under her breath.
Stiles runs out of the room and towards his jeep as Y/N and Scott carefully pick up Derek. They slowly carry him outside and maneuver him into the backseat of the jeep. Y/N wants to sit in the back with him but she knows there鈥檚 barely any room for just Derek, so she moves the passenger seat all the way forward and sits on the floor of the jeep next to his head.
鈥淎re you sure you want to sit there? That doesn鈥檛 seem comfortable鈥r safe.鈥 Stiles looks down at her as he climbs into the driver鈥檚 seat.
鈥淚鈥檓 fine,鈥 She isn鈥檛 comfortable but she wasn鈥檛 going to leave Derek in the back alone.
Stiles shares a worried look with Scott before Scott shuts the passenger door and climbs onto his bike next to the jeep. The drive to the loft is spent in silence other than the occasional tapping of Stiles鈥檚 fingers on the steering wheel.聽
Stiles pulls into the parking lot of Y/N and Derek鈥檚 building and slowly parks the jeep in the spot closest to the elevator. The passenger door opens to reveal Scott who helps Y/N pick up Derek and carry him to the elevator and into their loft and room. They gently lay him down on the bed and Y/N adjusts him until he looks to be in a comfortable position.
鈥淭hank you, Scott.鈥 Y/N attempts to smile at him to show him her gratitude but it looks more like a pained expression.
Scott turns to Stiles, 鈥淚鈥檓 going to head to the station to go help Lydia and Malia.鈥
鈥淥kay,鈥 Stiles mumbles back to him.
Scott leaves Stiles and Y/N alone with Derek. Stiles is awkwardly standing by the bedroom door as he watches Y/N frets over Derek鈥檚 unconscious body. He watches as she checks his pulse and bandages multiple times as if trying to reassure herself something.
鈥淵ou can go,鈥 Y/N can feel Stiles staring at her and she doesn鈥檛 like it.
鈥淯m鈥kay, um鈥鈥檓 just going to be in the living room and wait for Melissa to get here. Someone should probably let her in鈥︹ Stiles waits for a second to see if Y/N objects then silently heads toward the living room when she doesn鈥檛.
After Stiles leaves the room, she carefully lays down next to Derek and makes sure not to move him too much. She rests her head gently against his chest and listens to the beating of his heart.聽
That鈥檚 when she finally allows herself to break down. It starts with a few tears falling down her face before turning into sobs. She doesn鈥檛 know what she鈥檒l do if he doesn鈥檛 wake up. How is she supposed to deal with her mess of a life without him?
They were just talking about fixing up the Hale house and their future together. This wasn鈥檛 a part of their plans. This wasn鈥檛 supposed to happen.聽
The arrow was meant for her.
She keeps repeating that in her mind over and over again. The arrow was meant for her. Derek took an arrow for her. He pushed her out of the way. She wasn鈥檛 paying attention and he saved her.
Derek鈥檚 blood covers parts of her hands. She never even noticed that until now. She assumes the blood soaked through Scott鈥檚 shirt and that鈥檚 how it got on her hands. Maybe it was even there before that. Everything is kind of a blur.
Y/N鈥檚 sobs start to turn into sniffles as she tries to pull herself together. She can hear Melissa enter the loft and she doesn鈥檛 want anyone to see her in the state she鈥檚 currently in. She knows that she鈥檚 not weak for feeling how she feels but she doesn鈥檛 want the pitying looks to get any worse.
She carefully pulls away from Derek and rolls out of bed. She quietly walks into their shared bathroom. Pouring half a bottle of soap onto her hands, she scrubs them together harshly to get the blood off of them. Her skin starts to sting as she starts to scratch at some of the remaining blood. She quickly turns off the water and dries her hands as she hears Stiles and Melissa walking up towards the bedroom.
She glances at the mirror to see her eyes puffy from her crying and tear stains down her cheeks. She turns the water back on and splashes it on her face hoping to wash away the remnants of her breakdown.
鈥淵/N?鈥 She hears Stiles call out.
鈥淚鈥檒l be out in just a second!鈥 Y/N calls back. She quickly dries her face before exiting the bathroom to see Stiles watching Melissa set up her equipment.
Melissa looks up as Y/N enters the room, 鈥淚鈥檒l just get him set up and then I鈥檒l go.鈥
鈥淭hank you.鈥
鈥淗ow are you doing?鈥 Melissa knows what the answer is but she knows that she鈥檚 one of the few people that could ask Y/N that right now and not get snapped at.
鈥淚鈥檓 fine,鈥 Y/N is definitely not fine but she doesn鈥檛 plan on telling anyone anything else.
鈥淚 think dad was going to come over and bring some food for you. He knows that you didn鈥檛 really get time to eat between coming back here and the whole Pepper thing.鈥 Stiles informs her.
Y/N moves to where she鈥檚 standing closer to Derek but far enough away to give Melissa room to work, 鈥淚鈥檓 not really hungry鈥︹
鈥淲e both know that you need to eat something. You were just held captive by Hydra and Gerard and I鈥檓 guessing that they didn鈥檛 give you anything.鈥 Stiles knows he鈥檚 right.
Y/N doesn鈥檛 reply and continues to silently watch Melissa work.
鈥淪tiles, could you please leave for a moment?鈥 Melissa asks.
鈥淲hy do I need to go?鈥 Stiles questions.
Melissa holds up a tube in her hand, 鈥淚鈥檓 about his catheter in and I really don鈥檛 think you want to see that.鈥
Stiles's face goes pale as he tries not to gag at the thought of seeing that, 鈥淚鈥檓 just gonna go wait for dad.鈥
Melissa waits until he leaves the room before asking Y/N for help, 鈥淲ould you undress him so I can do this.鈥
Y/N nods before awkwardly undressing Derek. She鈥檚 a nurse and this shouldn鈥檛 be awkward because it鈥檚 for his health but it鈥檚 a bit weird that Melissa is the one doing this. She wouldn鈥檛 trust anyone else, but she鈥檚 still undressing her boyfriend for her almost-surrogate mother to insert a catheter into her boyfriend. It鈥檚 in no way sexual but it鈥檚 still a bit weird.
Y/N looks away as Melissa inserts the tube. She can feel Melissa finish doing what she鈥檚 doing before she hears the sheets get pulled back over him to cover him up.
鈥淭his may be a horrible time to say this but I definitely now know why you鈥檙e with him,鈥 Melissa attempts to joke.
Y/N snorts a bit, 鈥淵ou should see him when he鈥檚 hard.鈥
鈥淚s it possible for him to be any bigger?鈥
鈥淚鈥檇 say it鈥檚 an alpha thing but it might be genetics.鈥 Y/N knows that they probably shouldn鈥檛 be joking about this after Melissa just put a catheter into her boyfriend who may or may not wake up but it鈥檚 helping her not fall deep into her thoughts.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e making me regret not staying with Peter,鈥 Melissa has a teasing smile on her face.
鈥淣o, you definitely dodged a bullet with that one.鈥 Y/N slightly smiles back at her.
Melissa packs up her bag after she finishes setting Derek up, 鈥淚 know you know how to do everything but I鈥檒l be back tomorrow to check up on him.鈥 They both know that she also means that she鈥檒l be checking up on Y/N as well.
鈥淭hank you,鈥 Y/N grabs Derek鈥檚 hand to check if he鈥檚 in any pain. When she can鈥檛 feel that he is, she gently sets it back down.聽
鈥淵ou never have to thank me for doing things like this for you. If you were anyone else I鈥檇 say differently, but you never owe me anything.鈥 Melissa hugs Y/N in comfort. 鈥淚 can see myself out.鈥
Stiles and their dad enter the room carrying kitchen chairs as Melissa leaves. The sheriff holds up a bag of takeout for Y/N to see, 鈥淚 brought you some food.鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 not really hungry but thank you,鈥 Y/N hugs her dad before taking the bag from him. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 with the chairs?鈥
鈥淲e thought we鈥檇 sit with you for a bit,鈥 Stiles smiles at her. He knows she probably wants to be alone right now but he鈥檚 sure that鈥檚 the best idea.
Y/N wants to tell them to go home but she knows they won鈥檛 listen. She watches as they set the chairs on the right side of the bed as she takes a seat on the left side. She grabs Derek鈥檚 hand again and holds it in her lap.
鈥淲e found out who the Benefactor is,鈥 Noah informs them. Stiles looks at him in shock as Y/N looks at him in intrigue. 鈥淢eredith got the idea to create the Deadpool from Peter. He had some very angry thoughts after the fire and Meredith heard them all. Brunski was helping her.鈥
鈥淒oes that mean it鈥檚 over?鈥 Y/N asks.
鈥淵ou鈥檇 have to ask Scott or Lydia that question. This is your world and I still don鈥檛 fully know everything.鈥 Noah shrugs his shoulders.
Y/N hopes that it鈥檚 over. If the Deadpool goes away, then that means no one is trying to kill her or her friends and that nobody will have the list calling her Y/N Stark.
Y/N Stark.
That sounds so weird to her. She鈥檚 Y/N Stark but she鈥檚 also not Y/N Stark. She would love to rewind time and never be associated with that name. It鈥檚 not because she thinks Tony or Peter or any of the others are horrible people she never wants to be associated with (except for Pepper), it鈥檚 because it makes everything so complicated.
鈥淪o鈥︹ Stiles plays with his hands as he figures out what he wants to say, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e a Stark.鈥
Both Y/N and Noah glare at him.
Stiles throws his hands up in defense, 鈥淲e鈥檒l have to talk about it at some point so we might as well talk about it now.鈥
Y/N sighs and decides to do a thing they started doing after their mom died, 鈥淔ine. Let鈥檚 talk about it. Stiles, you express your thoughts and feelings about the situation first, then dad can go next.鈥
鈥淒o you not want to go first?鈥 Noah asks her.
鈥淚 want to hear what you have to say first.鈥
Stiles nervously plays with his hands as he tells them how he feels about the situation, 鈥淚鈥鈥檓 scared. I鈥檓 scared that you鈥檙e going to leave us for them. I鈥檓 scared that you might like them better than us. I鈥檓 scared that things are going to change. Like, what are you going to for holidays? Will this be the end of our traditions? I鈥檓 scared that you鈥檙e going to leave like mom did鈥︹
As Y/N listens to Stiles, she feels like she鈥檚 not listening to her occasionally annoying brother but the little boy whose mom just died and was scared that his sister or dad were going to leave next, 鈥淚鈥檓 not going to leave you.鈥
鈥淗ow can you know that? You were taken from them so long ago and they鈥檝e been waiting for fifteen years for you to come back home to them.鈥
鈥淚 know that because my home is here. Not Beacon Hills, but you, dad, and Derek are my home.鈥 Y/N鈥檚 not even sure what she wants to do but she knows that she鈥檚 not abandoning this family.
鈥淚鈥 should probably tell you that I鈥檝e known for a while that you鈥檙e the missing Stark,鈥 Stiles looks everywhere but Y/N and Noah as he confesses that to her.
鈥淲hat are you talking about?鈥 Noah asks.
鈥淚 recognized you in the photo that was used at the funeral they held for you. Between the photo and the timeline, I knew it was you but I never said anything because I didn鈥檛 want you to be taken away.鈥
鈥淪tiles, if you think I鈥檓 going to be mad at you, you鈥檙e wrong. Even if I wanted to, I know that if the roles were reversed I would鈥檝e done the same thing.鈥 Y/N tells him honestly.聽
Stiles sighs and looks at her with as much sincerity as possible, 鈥淚 just want you to know that no matter how much it hurts me or scares me, I want you to do whatever you want to do. I know that I鈥檓 scared and upset about this whole thing and I do kinda wish that you鈥檇 never gotten your memories back, but it鈥檚 your life and you can do whatever you want with it. Also, remember that I will always be a better brother than Peter.鈥
Y/N laughs a little at Stiles's statement, 鈥淚 will always remember that.鈥
鈥淒ad, you鈥檙e up,鈥 Stiles nudges Noah a little with his arm.
Noah takes a deep breath before letting out his thoughts, 鈥淚鈥檓 not sure what to think. I鈥檓 not entirely sure how I feel about the whole thing. I鈥檓 also scared of losing you but I鈥檓 more scared of losing you more than I already have. You鈥檙e moved out and you鈥檙e living with a boy. If it was up to me, he definitely wouldn鈥檛 have been the first guy I would鈥檝e picked for you but he turned out to be the right one.鈥
鈥淭hat was probably mine and Scott鈥檚 fault,鈥 Stiles interrupts him.
鈥淭hat was definitely yours and Scott鈥檚 fault,鈥 Y/N rolls her eyes at him, remembering when they made Derek a wanted man.
鈥淢y point is, you have already left the house and I鈥檓 not ready for you to possibly leave Beacon Hills as well. I know that I鈥檒l never be ready for that but it鈥檚 the reason why you鈥檇 be leaving that鈥檚鈥omething.鈥 Noah tries to express to feelings as best as he can. He knows that he has a lot more feelings than that but he鈥檚 sure he would ever be able to phrase them.
鈥淚 know that you鈥檙e both scared of what鈥檚 to come and that you鈥檙e scared of me leaving you for this other family but I鈥檓 not going anywhere. I鈥檓 a Stilinski and now I鈥檓 apparently a Stark as well but my home is here. Derek has promised me a fixed-up Hale house and I plan on making sure he goes through with that promise. My job is even here. If this would鈥檝e happened five years ago, who knows what my answer would鈥檝e been but I don鈥檛 plan on going anywhere.鈥 Y/N explains to them.
鈥淲hat about the others?鈥 Stiles asks.
鈥淚 think I would like them in my life and I know that they want me in theirs but I can be in their lives and still be here in Beacon Hills and in your lives. This might change a few things and that鈥檚 terrifying for me too but it will all work out in the end. It always does.鈥 Y/N surprised herself with everything she just said. She hasn鈥檛 given everything much thought but she knows that everything will be okay.
鈥淵ou really are just like your mother,鈥 Noah smiles at her proudly. He feels a lot better about everything after their conversation.
鈥淥ur mother. Not the psychotic one who sold you to a terrorist organization.鈥 Stiles jokes.
Y/N smiles at him before looking down at Derek鈥檚 body, 鈥淭hank you for staying with me but I think I鈥檓 just gonna go to sleep now. Tell the others what鈥檚 going on and tell them I don鈥檛 plan on leaving this room until Derek鈥檚 awake.鈥
Noah gets up from the chair he鈥檚 sitting in and walks over to Y/N and envelopes her in a hug, 鈥淟ike you said, everything will work out. It always does.鈥 He presses a kiss on top of her head before leaving.
鈥淒o you mind if I sleep on the couch? I don鈥檛 really want to leave just yet鈥︹ Stiles looks at her with hope in his eyes.
鈥淵ou know where the spare blankets and pillows are,鈥 Y/N mumbles as she continues to stare down at Derek. She鈥檚 too busy looking for signs of him healing or any possible pain that she doesn鈥檛 hear Stiles leave the room.
Y/N presses a kiss on Derek鈥檚 forehead, 鈥淵ou promised that you鈥檒l always be here for me so you better not break that promise.鈥
As she gets up and moves to the bathroom to get ready for bed, she misses the way his pinky finger twitches as if it was reaching out to her.
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