#i am blindly posting this right now please tumblr do not break the formatting. i am raying

[iamthegaysmurf]

“I’ll keep you warm.” and if it's alright to send a second one “It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

7.  late nights

—–

Apparently I’m still under my angst threshold for now after letting some of it out before, so this one is much Softer™ again than the last one was.  Enjoy.  lol

Tried this one from Waverly’s PoV again, so let me know how that turned out.  I’m hoping that I’m starting to get better at it.

Also, just as a head’s up, this one is rated for sexual content.  So please be aware of that before proceeding.  ;)

((Apologies in advance for any formatting errors.  I try to go back and fix them when I first post these prompt fill fics, but Tumblr really fucking hates me for some reason.))

—–

Set after the events of 3x03, but before jumping into the beginning of 3x04.  ((Features excerpts of scenes from 3x03, 2x10, and 2x11.))

—–

The instant Waverly opens her eyes, she immediately knows something is wrong.

The howling wind had disturbed her sleep, the aging wood of the homestead groaning in protest against its fury, but that’s not what is causing her heart to throb in her throat.

Reaching out a shaky hand, she finds the bed empty, the space beside her long gone cold.  The sheets are still dampened by sweat, and a guilty feeling settles in the pit of her stomach, heavy like a stone.

Nicole.

She steps into the ridiculous unicorn slippers Wynonna had bought her as a joke, grateful at how well they protect against the cold wood that lies beyond the reach of the shaggy rug which covers most of her bedroom floor.  Fumbling blindly for her robe in the dark, she wraps it tighter around herself as a shiver works its way down her spine.

The harsh lighting of the kitchen is far more than her eyes have adjusted to yet when she rounds the corner at the bottom of the stairs, but even through her bleary squinting, she can clearly make out the figure at the table, hunched over and surrounded by several open file folders.  Nicole is so focused on everything in front of her, she hasn’t even noticed Waverly’s presence yet.

“Hey,” Waverly croaks, her throat raw with disuse.  She rubs the spots out of her eyes as she leans against the doorway.  Nicole jumps slightly, instinctively covering up the evidence she’s been studying before she relaxes when her awareness finally catches up with her.

“Hey,” Nicole mumbles, taking in Waverly with bloodshot eyes, looking every bit like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar.  “It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Waverly returns, raising an eyebrow as she pushes off the door frame.  She shuffles closer, her slippers scooting along the floorboards.  Nicole pushes her chair back and opens her arms, allowing Waverly to settle in her lap.  It’s easy and familiar, and the routineness of it is comforting.  “Another nightmare?” she asks, wrapping her arms loosely around Nicole’s neck.  

“Yeah,” Nicole sighs, dropping her head to Waverly’s shoulder.  “Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize, Nicole,” Waverly says, leaning back so she can look Nicole in the eye.  “I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you.  Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were sleeping so hard.”  Nicole shrugs, lifting her head to rest it against Waverly’s.  “I’ve been disturbing your rest so much lately, but this time you didn’t wake up.”  She fidgets with the hem of Waverly’s nightshirt.  “I…  I didn’t want to bother you again.”

“Oh, baby…”  Waverly tucks Nicole’s face into her neck, just beneath her chin, and holds her close.  “You’re not bothering me.  I want to be there for you.”  She kisses the top of Nicole’s head.  “I just wish there was more I could do.  I wish I could keep them away in the first place, instead of just holding you after the fact.”

Nicole doesn’t answer, just clinging tighter to Waverly’s shirt.  Waverly glances at the reports and photos on the table.  It must be the Black Badge files Dolls had given Nicole when she first started remembering pieces of her past after the massacre at Pussy Willows.  She knows what it feels like to be haunted bya past that constantly plays tricks on you, and she wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  Especially not Nicole.

Her train of thought is interrupted when Nicole shivers violently in the chair.

“C’mon,” Waverly says, standing from Nicole’s lap and holding out a hand.  “Let’s get you back to bed.  I’ll keep you warm.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the bonus blanket in this relationship?” Nicole huffs, but allows Waverly to haul her to her feet.

“Sometimes, even a bonus blanket needs warming up.”  Waverly shrugs, heading over to the sink to grab a glass of water while Nicole stacks up all of her papers and places them carefully back into the file folders.  She tucks them into the messenger bag that she carries back and forth to the station with her.  “It’s like when you put a blanket in the dryer for a few minutes right before bed, so it’sextra snuggly.”

“You sound like a fabric softener commercial,” Nicole laughs, despite how shaken she still seems to be.

Waverly sticks her tongue out, but reaches down to lace their fingers together, leading Nicole toward the stairs and flipping the kitchen light off behind them as they go.  She stops briefly at the closet in the hallway outside her bedroom, grabbing a clean set of flannel sheets and pillowcases.

“Sorry,” Nicole mumbles again when she realizes what Waverly’s doing.  “I didn’t mean to leave a disgusting mess in the bed.  I changed my pajamas, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, baby,” Waverly says, reaching up to caress Nicole’s cheek.  She pushes up on her tiptoes to give her a chaste kiss before gently tugging her the rest of the way into the bedroom by her wrist.  “It’s no trouble at all.  I just want to make you feel safe and warm.”

“Okay,” Nicole finally breathes.  “But at least let me help, please?”

Waverly nods and heads around to her side of the bed, turning on the lamp and shaking out the sheets while Nicole strips the old ones out from under the comforter.  It takes them no time at all to remake the bed together, and soon they’re both crawling back under the covers, the flannel sheets soft and inviting.

“Could…  Could we maybe leave the light on a little longer?” Nicole asks, stopping Waverly as she starts to reach for the lamp.  Waverly can tell she’s embarrassed for asking, but is also kind of desperate to avoid the darkness for a while longer.

“Of course, baby.”  Waverly moves instead to stroke up and down Nicole’s arm.  “Of course we can.”

“Thank you,” Nicole whispers.  She starts to move closer, but hesitates.

There’s something else Nicole wants.  Waverly can read it all over her face.  But for some reason, she seems almost… ashamed?

“What is it, Nicole?” Waverly asks after what feels like an eternity of silence.  “You know you can ask me for anything…”

“I was wondering…”  Nicole’s face grows bright red, nearly glowing in the soft lamplight.  She chews on her lip, deliberating something in her mind.  After taking a deep breath, she eventually continues.  “I was wondering if maybe you would, uh…”  She groans and rolls forward until she’s on her stomach, her face buried.  “Do you think maybe you could sing to me?” she finally asks, completelymuffled by the pillow.

“You want me to sing to you?”  Waverly’s pretty sure she heard what Nicole said, but she wants to clarify for certain.

Nicole nods, still not looking up, and Waverly’s face goes soft as her heart melts in her chest.  She apparently forgets to actually answer, however, because Nicole eventually peeks up at her, shoulders sagging with sheepishness.

“Never mind.  You don’t have to,” she mumbles, clearly embarrassed for even thinking about it.  “Sorry, that was stupid.  I can ju–”

“Nicole,” Waverly cuts in.  She brings her hand up to Nicole’s cheek, fingers stroking gently, before leaning in to kiss her, long and slow.  “I’ll do anything I can to help you, baby.  I would sing you a lullaby anytime.”

“A lullaby…”  Nicole buries her face in the pillow again.  “I feel so dumb for even asking.”

“Please don’t,” Waverly says, turning to rearrange her pillows behind her.  She sits up and settles into them, resting her back against the headboard.  “I would love to sing you a lullaby, baby.  C’mere.”  She pats her thigh a couple of times when Nicole looks up at her.

Nicole’s face is still red, standing out against the dark circles under her eyes, but it doesn’t stop her from scooting closer and resting her head in Waverly’s lap, her arm automatically coming to rest around Waverly’s waist.  Waverly tucks the blanket around them carefully, and then starts running her fingers gently through Nicole’s hair, over and over and over again.

As Waverly begins to sing, Nicole’s arm squeezes a little tighter, and she nuzzles into the warmth and security of Waverly’s lap.  Waverly’s voice is bright in the quiet solitude of the room, accompanied only by the occasional whistling of the wind and the soft thumping of the wooden slats that serve as siding for the weathered house.

Be still and know that I’m with youBe still and know that I am hereBe still and know that I’m with youBe still, be still, and know

Waverly’s mind starts to drift as she carries on to the next verse…

//

When darkness comes upon youAnd colors you with fear and shameBe still and know that I’m with youAnd I will say your name

“Last spring when Widow Mercedes said his name – Bulshar – it was like this shotgun went off in my head.  And Dolls helped me.  He got me files.  He…  He told me that Black Badge had been covering up these massacres for years.”

“The Cult of Bulshar,” Waverly mutters, trying to process everything Nicole has just revealed about her past.  About that night in the woods.  About how Dolls had been helping her.  About how this whole thing apparently runs deeper than any of them first thought.  “Oh, Nicole…”

“I somehow got myself down to the river, and then… then somebody saved me…”  Tears stream down her face now, her voice breaking with every word.  “But I couldn’t save Dolls.”

“None of us could.”  Waverly’s heart cracks open in her chest.  They’ve all been carrying the weight of Dolls’s death, but Nicole has been blaming herself for it this entire time.

“He was trying to help me,” Nicole sobs.  “He was trying to help me, and now he’s dead.  This is all my fault.”

“Oh…  shhhh…” Waverly murmurs, stroking Nicole’s hair beneath her beanie.  “Hey…  shhhh…” she soothes again, wrapping her arm around Nicole’s shoulders and pulling her close.  Nicole continues to sob, resting her head against Waverly’s as her grief overtakes her.  “You’re safe.”

Waverly has been carrying around a traumatic childhood her entire life. But she had no idea that Nicole had one buried deep within her, too, like a thief in the night, waiting until she was at her most vulnerable to strike.  It kills her to see this kind of fear gripping Nicole, who’s usually so sturdy and unshakable.

She doesn’t deserve the kind of shame she’s feeling right now.  None of them do.  None of them are at fault for losing Dolls, but every one of them is carrying their own brand of guilt, like an anchor, dragging them all beneath the waves.

Waverly wishes she could take this away from her.  Could lift the burden.  Could free her from the doubt that’s clouding her heart.  But she doesn’t know how to do that.  All she knows is that Nicole won’t have to face it alone.  Waverly will be there with her, every step of the way.

As long as you want me, I’ll be by your side.

//

If terror falls upon your bedAnd sleep no longer comesRemember all the words I saidBe still, be still, and know

“Nicole…  Hey…”

Nicole is trembling beside her, whimpering softly as she clutches at the sheets.  Waverly reaches out and touches her shoulder, shaking her gently, but getting no response.  She pulls at her arm a little more firmly, until Nicole rolls onto her back, and Waverly can see the tear tracks on her cheeks.

“Baby…  Please wake up…” Waverly tries again, rolling up onto her elbow until she’s hovering over Nicole.  

Finally startling awake, Nicole shoots bolt upright, nearly head-butting Waverly in the process.  Her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, still attempting to reconcile where she is now with where she just was.

“Nicole…  shhhhh…  you’re safe.”  Waverly gently rubs her back, trying to soothe her, but not wanting to crowd into her personal space while she’s still panicking.  “It’s okay.  You’re awake now.  It’s okay.”

Nicole turns to face her, terrified and confused, still not fully comprehending what’s happening.

“W-Waverly?” she stutters as her eyes eventually begin to focus on what’s in front of her.  She reaches out as though to touch Waverly, but hesitates, her hand hanging in the air between them, almost as if she’s afraid it will pass right through her like some kind of cruel illusion.

Waverly immediately takes Nicole’s hand in her own and brings Nicole’s open palm to rest over her heart, so that she can feel it beating and feel her chest rise and fall with every breath.

“I’m here, baby,” Waverly says, her hand resting over the top of Nicole’s.  “I’m real.  You’re here with me.  We’re in your bedroom.”

“Waverly.  Oh, god…”  Nicole collapses forward into Waverly’s arms, still struggling for breath.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” she continues to mumble into Waverly’s neck, still holding on to her for dear life.

“Hey, shhhh…” Waverly tries to calm her, stroking the back of her head in a slow rhythm, hoping Nicole will be able to match her breathing to it.  “There’s no need for sorry.  I’ve got you, baby.  I’ve got you.”

Nicole falls back onto the bed, bringing Waverly with her, desperately seeking her lips.  Waverly complies, holding herself up on her elbow so that she can get a better angle.  Nicole’s hands automatically move to her hips, trying to pull Waverly on top of her as she continues to kiss her frantically.

“Nicole…” Waverly says gently, lifting herself back up again.  Nicole tries to chase after her,still grasping at her hips.  “Nicole… wait…”  Waverly places a hand on Nicole’s chest, halting her movement.

Nicole’s face falls instantly, and she tries to roll over onto her side, to face away from Waverly, but Waverly holds her in place by the hand that’s still resting on her chest.

“Hey…  Slow down…” she says calmly.  She waits until Nicole reluctantly meets her gaze.  “Baby, are you sure?  We don’t have t–”

“Please,” Nicole begs.  Her hands are still on Waverly’s hips, though she’s no longer trying to pull at them.  “It was dark, and I was so cold and so scared…  Please let me feel your warmth and know that I’m not alone.”

Waverly gets it.  She does.  There were nights after Mikshun, when she awoke just wanting to feel something without having to think.  When she needed to have Nicole inside her – and to know that it was only Nicole and nothing else.  She searches Nicole’s eyes again to make sure this is what she really wants, and then she finally nods.

“Okay.”  

Pushing up onto her knees, she reaches down to the hem of the over-sized UBC basketball t-shirt of Nicole’s that she’s wearing, slowly pulling it over her head and leaving her completely bare.  She tosses it on the floor, and watches as Nicole scrambles to lose her tank top and boxer shorts, shoving them off the other side of the bed.

“How do you want me, baby?” Waverly asks, her hand resting on Nicole’s knee to steady herself.

Nicole reaches up, letting her hands brush along Waverly’s sides until her fingers come to rest between her ribs, like they were made to fit together this way.  Her thumbs rub circles against Waverly’s hipbones as she begins to tug her forward.

“I just need to hold you close while we make love,” Nicole pleads.  “I need to feel you here with me, Waverly.  Please.”

Waverly nods and crawls on top of Nicole, carefully slotting one of her legs between Nicole’s, and then covers Nicole’s body with the full length of her own.  Nicole’s arms immediately wrap around her back and shoulders, and Waverly can feel their breasts pressing together, almost sure she can make out Nicole’s rabbiting heartbeat against her own chest.

Sliding one of her arms under Nicole’s head, Waverly holds on to her shoulders, still bracing herself on the other arm.  Nicole’s leg shifts slightly beneath her, just enough for Waverly to settle down against it while pressing her own thigh against Nicole’s wet warmth, feeling it paint her skin with want.    

“Is this what you need?” Waverly asks against Nicole’s lips, and Nicole gasps her answer into Waverly’s mouth, chasing after it with her tongue.  

As Waverly begins to roll her hips, Nicole’s arms tighten around her, leaving not even an inch between their bodies.  She sets a steady pace, driven by Nicole’s gasps and the way she pants against Waverly’s cheek between desperate kisses as they make love with urgency, but not with haste.  

The arm she was bracing herself on begins to shake, and Waverly lets her weight rest fully on top of Nicole as she brings that hand down to grasp at Nicole’s hip instead, using it for better leverage while dragging her thigh through Nicole’s heat over and over again.  Nicole catches on, letting one of the arms wrapped around Waverly’s back drift further down until her fingers are digging into the muscle of Waverly’s ass, urging her to chase her own pleasure with renewed effort.  

It had started slow, just as a way to connect with Nicole and help her fend off the darkness, but the fire is building low in Waverly’s belly, bubbling just beneath the surface as it begins to spread outward.  If the sounds Nicole is making beneath her are any indication, she’s getting close, too, trying desperately to hang on to her control for as long as she can.

Her hips are beginning to jerk up against Waverly’s, losing any semblance of rhythm they once held, and soon her body goes rigid as she whimpers into Waverly’s neck.

“I can’t…  Baby, I’m gonna…”

“Don’t hold back,” Waverly whispers in her ear, deliberately grinding down against her.  “Come for me, baby.”

That’s all it takes for Nicole to fall apart beneath her, Waverly’s name falling from her lips like some kind of prayer.  She shudders and shakes for far too many heartbeats to count, and Waverly continues moving against her until her body goes slack, still whispering Waverly’s name into the night.

Waverly begins to settle on top of her, trying to calm her own racing heart, but Nicole’s hands still dig into her hips, urging her to keep riding her thigh.

“It’s okay,” Waverly croaks, resisting the urge to keep churning her hips.  “You’ve already…  We can just cuddle now.  You can try to get back to sleep again.”

“Please don’t stop, baby,” Nicole begs, pressing her leg more firmly against Waverly.  “I want to have you, too.  I need it.”

Waverly groans, finally giving in.  She starts rocking her hips again, pleasure immediately spiking through her veins.  Nicole kisses up her throat as she moves, along the underside of her chin, over her jaw, and all the way up to the spot behind her ear that always sets her on fire.  Just as Waverly begins to pick up her pace a little, Nicole slides one of her hands around and down between them, her fingers circling Waverly’s clit.

That’s all it takes.

“Oh, Nicole…” Waverly gasps, pushing harder against Nicole’s fingers.  “Please don’t stop, oh god, ohgodohgodohgod…”

The wave that overtakes her knocks the breath right out of her lungs, stealing the rest of her words before they even reach her mouth.  Nicole eases her through it, keeping her touch light, but steady, until Waverly collapses, her limbs heavy and her breathing ragged.

Nicole’s arms return to their place around Waverly’s back and shoulders, and they stay like that for a long while until both of them have calmed back down.

“Thank you,” Nicole eventually says, kissing the top of Waverly’s head.  “I’m sorry.  I just…  I just needed you after all of that.”

“Never apologize for needing me, Nicole.”  Waverly props her head up, resting it in her hand.  “We’re in this together, okay?  Whatever you need.”

Nicole nods, unable to find her words.  Waverly rolls off of her, coming to rest on her back.  She opens her arms, inviting Nicole to join her.

“C’mere,” she says, wiggling her fingers.  “Let me hold you.”  Nicole twists around until she can rest her head on Waverly’s shoulder, throwing one of her legs up over Waverly’s waist.

They don’t usually try to cuddle this way, Nicole’s feet practically hanging off the end of the bed thanks to her being so much taller, but for tonight, Waverly will try and ward off the darkness for a little while longer.

//

And when you go through the valleyAnd the shadow comes down from the hillIf morning never comes to beBe still, be still, be still

“No matter what happens, I need you to know that I have never loved anyone the way that I love you.”

The Widow attack, Nicole getting bitten, rushing to the hospital in the ambulance…  It’s all running together in one giant blur, and Waverly’s brain still hasn’t had time to process any of it yet.  But even now, when Waverly should be trying to give Nicole hope, it’s Nicole that’s trying to reassure Waverly with what could very well be the last words they ever speak to each other.

Nicole’s body goes slack as the coma overtakes her, and Waverly kisses her sleeping form in lieu of the words she couldn’t bring herself to say a few seconds ago.

She won’t let this happen.  She can’t.

“My love…  She has iron in her veins…”

She’s failed Nicole one too many times.  Letting her get taken by Jack.  Letting her get shot by Willa.  Letting Mikshun jerk her around, by her own hand, no less.  And now this.

It doesn’t matter that she’s just found out Nicole has a wife – a hot, brilliant doctor lady – maybe she deserves this after all that Nicole’s been through simply because she let herself get too close to an Earp.  Or that in order to save her, Waverly will have to betray her sister.

None of that matters right now.  Only saving Nicole.

So a deal is struck, one that’s bound to a witch, but as long as Nicole wakes up, then it will be worth it.

Gretta gives her the anti-venom and Waverly slips it to Nicole when no one – including Shae – is looking.  Nothing happens right away, and all Waverly can do is wait.  Just sit by her bedside and hold her hand and wait.

If this is really it – if Nicole is truly not going to wake up – then Waverly is going to be here with her to usher her through it.  If they will not see another tomorrow together, then Waverly has to believe that somewhere in there, Nicole knows she’s not alone right now.

When Nicole finally opens her eyes, seeing Waverly and asking if this means she’s in heaven, Waverly nearly collapses from the relief.

“I knew you wouldn’t leave me,” Nicole says, still groggy, and Waverly hopes she knows how true that really is.

//

If you forget the way to goAnd lose where you came fromIf no one is standing beside youBe still and know I am

“Have you ever met someone, and instantly known in your heart that they meant something to you?”

“I might kind of get that, yeah…”

They’re sitting here in the Sheriff’s car, both of them trying to remember something that never actually happened.  Or maybe it did, somehow, some way, in some other world…  But how is that possible?  None of it makes sense.  

None of it but sitting here with Nicole, because for some reason, that feels more right than anything else Waverly has done today.

A long talk with Bobo del Ray later, and the pieces are slowly starting to come together for Waverly.  Her sister is missing, and that’s why everything else feels so off.  Waverly sees flashes of another life, but Nicole…  Nicole is still waiting outside for them, looking as lost as ever, with no idea where to go next.

Waverly desperately wants to help her, too.  Wants to show her who she is – who they are – but it’s hard to do that when it feels like she’s still looking through a blindfold, trying catch glimpses of the light.

They visit a witch, one that seems familiar for all the wrong reasons, and for just a moment, the veil is pulled back.  But it doesn’t last, and even though Waverly understands now that they have to get Wynonna back to fix everything, Nicole reverts to keeping a respectable distance from Waverly, who is apparently engaged to someone else.

That doesn’t last either, though, because soon they find themselves standing in a barn.  And Waverly knows what they have to do, but she doesn’t want to do it, because what if she’s wrong?

But Nicole is there with her, and even though she doesn’t remember where she came from, even though she’s forgotten all that they could be, she stands beside Waverly through what might be the very end of everything.

“Where you go, I go.”

It’s such a simple statement, but it carries the weight of the world with it.  Maybe the weight of more than one world.  This is Purgatory, after all, and you never know with this place.

Waverly surges forward to kiss Nicole, and they melt into it, like even though their minds can’t remember each other, maybe their hearts still do.

They kiss like it’s their first kiss.  Like it’s their last kiss.  Like maybe it’s the only kiss they’ll ever get and they need to pour several lifetimes into it because it feels like that’s how long their souls have known each other.

And it may very well be the only one they get, because Waverly is standing there with her finger on a button that could either save the world or end it, and she’s not really sure right now which one is more likely.  

But Nicole reaches out, her hands steadying Waverly’s, and this is it.  If this is the end of the world, Nicole is the one that’s standing beside her, and she thinks maybe that’s okay.  And she wants Nicole to know that, too.  To stand in this calm before the explosive storm, and know that Waverly is here with her.

Where you go, I go.

//

The flash of light in her memory brings Waverly back to the present as her lullaby draws to a close.

She finds that at some point during the song, she had clicked the lamp off and settled down into her pillows as much as she could without disturbing Nicole, whose head is still resting in her lap.  It may not be the most comfortable night’s sleep she’ll ever get, but it will do, especially if it means that Nicole is finally able to rest.

Nicole’s breathing has evened out now, slow and steady, like the rhythm of Waverly’s fingers still stroking through her hair.  Waverly prays it’s been enough to keep the bad dreams at bay until morning.

The last thing Waverly remembers as sleep comes to claim her is the closing lines of the lullaby, offered up into the dark, wrapping around them like a protective shield against the night.

Be still and know that I’m with youBe still and know I am

—–

If anyone is interested, the lullaby Waverly sings is “Be Still” by The Fray.  Give it a listen if you can; I love this song and it reminds me of WayHaught every time I hear it.

#prompt fill #my fiction #wayhaught #wynonna earp #ask and answer #anon #writer asks #writing #mine